http://felixonline.co.uk/archive/IC_1979/1979_0520_A

Issue N o . 5 2 0

F r i d a y , 1st J u n e , 1979

THE NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL C O L L E G E

UNION

Sabbaticals to Pay Tax? Student Unions will have to pay the Government at least £700 for each of their sabbatical officers following a ruling by the Department of Health and Social Security in April.

With four sabbaticals IC Union will have to find another £3000 per year at a time when the College has already forced the Union to cut its budget next year.

T h e m o n e y will g o to cover national i n s u r a n c e c o n t r i b u t i o n s a n d i n c o m e tax, both of w h i c h have up to n o w been i g n o r e d by Student Unions.

Above: Lord bloiters and Mr Freddie Webber Below: Colonel Mae on the Thames

T h e D H S S have ruled that s a b b a t i c a l s are e m p l o y e e s of the U n i o n a n d therefore national i n s u r a n c e at the rates of 6.5 per cent e m p l o y e e ' s c o n t r i b u t i o n and 13.5 per cent employer's c o n t r i b u t i o n has to be paid.

T h e order is effective from 6th A p r i l 1979.

T h e s n a g is that to p a y the national i n s u r a n c e U n i o n s must inform the T a x Inspector and will therefore no longer be able to get away without paying i n c o m e tax.

A l t h o u g h a few U n i o n s have paid i n c o m e tax, i n c l u d i n g the National U n i o n of Students, most have never d o n e s o and the Inland R e v e n u e have not until n o w been aware of the a n o m a l o u s status of student s a b b a t i c a l s .

S o that an IC U n i o n s a b b a t i c a l c a n c o n t i n u e to receive a net salary of £1,990 (1978-79 rate), the U n i o n will have to pay a gross salary of £2,390 of w h i c h the additional £400 covers national i n s u r a n c e at 6.5 per cent a n d i n c o m e tax over the two tax years w h i c h the s a b b a t i c a l term of office spans. A d d e d to this is the e m p l o y e r ' s c o n t r i b u t i o n of £323 giving over £700 at 1978-79 rates.

T h e s u m is likely t o g o u p as s a b b a t i c a l salaries increase.

T h e s a b b a t i c a l officer himself c o u l d however gain, provided he d o e s not get a job as s o o n as he leaves office. F o r as long as he remains a student or u n e m p l o y e d he c a n c l a i m back any tax paid by the U n i o n o n his behalf in the current tax year, a n d there is no way the U n i o n c a n get this m o n e y

from him. This c o u l d amount to £110 tax paid in the last 3 m o n t h s of his office.

But if he enters immediate e m p l o y m e n t he may be w o r se off than an 'ordinary' student as he will h a v e ' u s e d u p ' s o m e of his taxfree a l l o w a n c e .

T h e n e w situation will also affect the p o s i t i o n of any overseas student w h o gets elected to a s a b b a t i c a l post. T o take u p office s u c h students will n o w need work permits. T h e N U S have in the past had an agreement with the H o m e Office a l l o w i n g overseas students to be s a b b a t i c a l officers a n d they have p r o m i s e d to a p p r o a c h the Home Office a g a i n if a n y p r o b l e m s arise.

B e c a u s e IC U n i o n is o u t s i de N U S the U n i o n have not received full details o f t h e D H S S ruling a n d have not yet been able to c o n s i d e r where this extra c a s h is to c o m e from. In the new c i r c u m s t a n c e s p e r h a p s C o l l e g e will be able to increase the U n i o n ' s grant to cover this u n e x p e c t e d a d d i t i o n a l expenditure. After all C o l l e g e will hardly w i s h to force the U n i o n or its student e m p l o y e e s to d o a n y t h i n g illegal like evading tax a n d national i n s u r a n c e payments.

NEW BOAT CLUB

FOURS

I m p e r i a l College Boat C l u b p r o u d l y l a u n c h e d t h e i r n e w p a i r of fours on Wednesday. T h e Rector, L o r d Flowers, poured C h a m p a g n e over the coxless f o u r n a m e d F r e d d i e W e b b e r .

L a d y F l o w e r s c h r i s t e n e d the coxed f o u r C o l o n e l M a c .

M r Webber and Lt-Col McLellan c e r e m o n y . F r e d d i e w a s C a p t a i n o f boats was b o r n . T h e R e c t o r c o m m e n t e d that c o m p a r e d w i t h w h a t F r e d d i e w as used B o t h fours h a v e a l r e a d y b e e n rowed incompetitions. T h e coxed four, C o l o n e l M a c , has w o n eight o u t o f its l a s t t e n r a c e s . T h e o f f i c i a l launching was postponed until the summer a n d they were rewarded with a line afternoon.

T h e I m p e r i a l College coat of a r m s a t t a c h e d to t h e side o f the boat b y a transfer process, has c a u s e d a s m a l l p r o b l e m for the

w e r e present to w a t c h the a year before L o r d Flowers it w a s a b i t d i f f e r e n t today to in those d a y s ,

club because t h e l i r s t set of transfers came off.

Fingerscrossed the s e c o n d set, l i b e r a l l y covered with polyurethane, have s t a y e d o n so far. T h e fours w i l l he i d e a l for w i n t e r t r a i n i n g . T h e r o w i n g eight w i l l be a b l e to split i n t o t w o t e a m s o f f o u r to r a c e against e a c h other. T h e eights a n d -fours w i l l b e at H e n l e y o n

J u l y 6/7/8,

Page 2

S i r , - Y o u w i l l p r o b a b l y say I ' m b e i n g p e d a n t i c , but w i t h things like U n i o n p o l i c y y o u have to be.

T h e p o l i c y we passed at the last U G M does not m e a n what it appears to m e a n at first glance.

There are several cases. ' I C U . . i n s t r u c t s . . . t h a t we support A L R A ' . W e ? W h o is I C U i n s t r u c t i n g to support A L R A ?

T h e proposers ol the m o t i o n ? ' W e support A L R A . ' W h a t is A L R A ? Architects and L a n d Researchers Association?

They can't mean Abortion Law Reform Association, because a c c o r d i n g to notes 2 this A L R A does not support a b o r t i o n after 28 weeks, but the a b o r t i o n law reform association supports it between 28 weeks a n d b i r t h for c o n d i t i o n s m o r e l i b e r a l t h a n the present A b o r t i o n A c t . (See their newsletter 'Breaking Chains' M a y 77).

'ICU instructs delete all previous p o l i c y o n a b o r t i o n . ' T h i s is meaningless. Besides w h i c h we h a d n o p o l i c y o n a b o r t i o n . If thev m e a n m y last m o t i o n , that was o n the N A C (an organisation), not abortion.

W o r s t of a l l , because my amendment was partially accepted we have 'ICU b e l i e v e s . . a b o r t i o n s h o u l d be a v a i l a b l e free o n d e m a n d . . . ' a n d 'instruct the N H S to...always act w i t h the i n t e n t i o n o f s a v i n g b o t h the m o t h e r a n d c h i l d . ' ( C h i l d is a legally acceptable t e r m for a foetus). If these c a n be r e c o n c i l e d at a l l it c a n o n l y m e a n we support A b o r t i o n on demand (removing the c h i l d f r o m the w o m b ) o n l y if it is done i n such a w a y as to a v o i d k i l l i n g it (almost impossible).

Oh dear.

It fillibustered it. unintentionally.

appears we And quite

Barry Austin P.S. W h a t ' s the use o f i n c r e a s i n g day care facilities i f the N H S is not a l l o w e d to use them?

D e a r S i r , - In last week's F E L I X , there was a s m a l l a d for the sale of tins o f ex-boycott b a k e d beans - to quote - ' O n l y 9 0 p for a 51b t i n ' .

T h e r e was also a reference to the sale o f these tins i n N e w s i n B r i e f h e a d e d ' C h e a p Beans'. I fail to see that unless these beans are individually wrapped or of e x t r a o r d i n a r y q u a l i t y o r size they c a n be t e r m e d c h e a p . In W a i t r o s e a 20oz t i n is 18p - this means o n l y 72 p for 51bs of b a k e d beans. (I have c h e c k e d this carefully b e i n g a m a t h e m a t i c i a n ) . I was not aware that generally large q u a n t i t i e s bought f r o m a discount warehouse worked out more expensive than s m a l l tins p u r c h a s e d i n a shop.

Ruth Langford Maths 1 P.S. Even extortionately expensive H e i n z B a k e d Beans w o u l d o n l y cost 8 8 p for 51bs.

D e a r S i r , -1 w o u l d like to make it k n o w n that the events of S a t u r d a y night (shortly alter the E n g l a n d S c o t l a n d match) disgusted a n d a p p a l l e d me. T h a t a l c o h o l should be c o n s u m e d i n such q u a n t i t y for such u n c o n s t r u c t i v e a n d heathen purposes is b a r b a r o u s , a n d the sight of d r u n k e n N o r t h e r n e r s l y i n g o n the floor came as a revelation.

I d i d i n f o r m people of the changeover in F E L I X at the start of the year several times t h r o u g h m y articles a n d also by a s m a l l advert; I w o u l d have informed the Wardens of the halls/houses except I thought Residence Office w o u l d do that. I c o u l d not take the change of policy to a U G M as a decision was necessary d u r i n g the s u m m e r v a c a t i o n .

A s a result I do not i n t e n d to touch a l c o h o l u n t i l at least the next bank h o l i d a y , a n d w o u l d urge a l l like m i n d e d students in j o i n i n g me in a b s t a i n i n g from the practice of i m b i b i n g that infernal liquid, alcohol.

And now for something completely different. M r R o n a n i n his letter of last week is incorrect w h e n he says a newsociety c a n o v e r l a p w i t h a n already existing society.

In c o u n c i l minutes it is stated that if the o v e r l a p is too great then the new society will not be recognised.

Y o u r s displeased, K.J.

Fenning, Physics

D e a r S i r , - I w o u l d like to make a few points as regards Mr B a m b r i d g e ' s letter last week. T h e Insurance p o l i c y c o v e r i n g the possessions of those l i v i n g in college-run residence was c h a n g e d at the b e g i n n i n g of last A u g u s t for several reasons - the ne w p o l i c y covered goods lost a l l over the college c a m p u s , whereas the o l d one o n l y covered each person's p a r t i c u l a r hall/house/ flat, a n d the other m a i n reason was that the cover was increased to £750, whereas the o l d policy was o n l y £500; w h i c h I ' m sure most people w o u l d agree is i n a d e q u a t e - a lot of students have stereo systems w o r t h m o r e t h a n £300 never m i n d a n y t h i n g else.

T h e £75 l i m i t on records a n d cassettes is unfortunate, a n d is mostly due to the incompetence of E n d s l e i g h . T h e o r i g i n a l letter I h a d from t h e m about the new p o l i c y went over the changes but failed to m e n t i o n this - a n d I was later v e r b a l l y told that this 10% l i m i t for records, cartridges a n d cassettes was the same for the o l d policy and being unfamiliar with the o l d one I took this to be true, a n d it was o n l y m u c h later on that I found out it was different.

A l s o w i t h the o l d p o l i c y if y o u h a d goods w o r t h , say, £1000 a n d £300 w o r t h was p i n c h e d y o u w o u l d o n l y get £150, as the total v a l u e of the goods o w n e d was twice the l i m i t - t h i s is not the case w i t h the new p o l i c y .

O n e t h i n g M r B a m b r i d g e has neglected also is that the o l d p o l i c y , as i n c o m m o n w i t h most household policies, insured not the r e p l a c e m e n t value but the present value, t a k i n g into account d e t e r i o r a t i o n so the c l a i m for 45 cassettes w o u l d be c o n s i d e r a b l y less t h a n £230.

A s regards the p o l i c y itself a n d the changeover, this year's experience w i l l be taken into a c c o u n t w h e n c o n s i d e r i n g the renewal of the p o l i c y , and Michael A r t h u r and I will definately look for a n d consider a n y alternatives very carefully.

Cheers, Mike Elkin D e a r E d i t o r , - E a c h week F E L I X is put on m y desk (such a n i c e y o u n g m a n brings it round) a n d w h e n I stop for m y hot a n d s t e a m i n g life saver, I pick it up to read. H o w e v e r , I do have one gripe about y o u r estimable paper pretty (the covers are such colours) why so many abbreviations?

Presumably those in the societies i n v o l v e d k n o w what they m e a n but those of us to w h o m I C (translation given on request) is a l i v i n g a n d not a social event, very often do not have a clue. O n the letters page alone, I p i c k e d up the following: A G M , U G A , R C S , ICU, SCC, ICWA, NAC, BPAS, P A T A . I a m sure the r e m a i n i n g 14 pages w o u l d have yielded a w e a l t h of others.

M a n y times have f l a b o u r e d far coffee and into the night, cigarettes at m y elbow, p o r i n g over F E L I X w i t h p e n c i l a n d paper, d i c t i o n a r y a n d I C (see above) H a n d b o o k t r y i n g to make head or tail of it. P e r h a p s the average student at I C (think about it) has more u p top t han I have - or m a y b e it really is a secret f o r m u l a for t u r n i n g lead into gold!

F o r those of us w h o are not ' i n the k n o w ' please translate some of these symbols to make F E L I X intelligible to the u n i n i t i a t e d .

M r s Lynn Fanning (A m e m b e r o f the u n d e r p a i d , under-rated and generally ignored A d m i n i s t r a t i o n staff) D e a r J o h n , - I w o u l d like to t han k y o u for y o u r p r o m p t coverage of R C S events but 1 feel I must correct the errors i n the article entitled S t r i p p e r O u t , based on a m o t i o n , passed at R C S U G e n e r a l C o m m i t t e e , w h i c h I proposed.

F i r s t l y , the m o t i o n m a d e no m e n t i o n of the stripper a n d so it is not u n i o n p o l i c y to remove it.

This may well o c c u r as a consequence but w i l l have to be decided at a later date by the ents committee.

S e c o n d l y , the reference u n d e m o c r a t i c m i n o r i t i e s was a i m e d at the w o m e n at I C those people w h o go to S m o k i n g C o n c e r t to disrupt d r i n k the free beer.

to not but the and

F i n a l l y , I w o u l d like the chance to p u b l i c l y e x p l a i n w h y the n a m e w i l l be c h a n g e d to the H e a d lights Revue.

Everyone at G e n e r a l C o m m i t t e e , a n d I t h i n k generally t h r o u g h o u t College, agrees that the ' S m o k i n g C o n c e r t ' has reach ed the lowest possible depths a n d the very fact that the ' S m o k i n g C o n c e r t ' is a t r a d i t i o n means the o n l y possible way to achieve a w o r t h w i l e night's entertainment is to change the n a m e a n d thus b u r y the memories of the farces of the past.

A n y b u d d i n g t h e a t r i c a l person w h o thinks they w o u l d enjoy p r o d u c i n g a class revue a n d anyone who could contribute w i t h a sketch w h i c h w i l l be w e l l rehearsed a n d e n t e r t a i n i n g , no m a t t e r h o w d e p r a v e d , c a n see me anytime.

M a n y thanks for e x p l a i n the change,

l e t t i ng

me

R i c h Archer R C S U Entert a i n m e n t s C h a i r m a n elect.

FELIX CORK COLLECTING COMPETITION PRIZE OF 1 B O T T L E OF L I E B F R A U M I L C H for the person s u b m i t t i n g the greatest n u m b e r of used w i n e corks to the F E L I X Office by 5 : 3 0 p m next W e d n e s d a y

Page 3

That time of year D u e , I suspect, t o a c o m b i n a t i o n of x x x x s a n d the f r i g h t e n i n g e a r l y c o p y d e a d l i n e this w e e k , v e r y l i t t l e c o p y w a s s u b m i t t e d for t h i s w e e k ' s issue. I a m p l e a s e d t o say t h a t e v e r y t h i n g t h a t c a m e i n d i d so b e f o r e t h e d e a d l i n e (yes M a r y ' s a r t i c l e w a s e a r l y ! ! ! ) . N e x t w e e k ' s d e a d l i n e is b a c k t o t h e u s u a l M o n d a y 5 . 3 0 , so y o u c a n a l l stay i n b e d t i l l 2 o ' c l o c k . I f y o u h a v e f i n i s h e d y o u e x a m x a l r e a d y , t h e n p l e a s e w r i t e s o m e t h i n g for t h i s l i t t l e p a p e r ' c o s I get b o r e d w i t h n o t h i n g to d o o n W e d n e s d a y n i g h t s .

Sabbaticals Taxed W e l l , it h a d t o h a p p e n s o o n e r o r l a t e r . T h e D H S S ' s d e c i s i o n t o m a k e s t u d e n t u n i o n s p a y N a t i o n a l I n s u r a n c e w i l l h i t us a t I C p a r t i c u l a r l y h a r d . F i r s t l y b e c a u s e w e h a v e just i n c r e a s e d t h e n u m b e r of our sabbaticals a n d secondly because we have already h a d a reduced grant from College. I sincerely hope that w e are a b l e to c l a i m the a d d i t i o n a l m o n e y f r o m C o l l e g e .

Baked Beans I've

received

several letters p o i n t i n g o u t t h a t the

'cheap'

b e a n s a d v e r t i s e d last w e e k w e r e i n fact q u i t e e x p e n s i v e . T h e t i n s c o n t a i n 51b 1 4 o z , t h o u g h , a n d w e r e H e i n z b e a n s so t h e y w e r e n ' t q u i t e as e x t o r t i o n a t e as a p p e a r e d .

'Magus' banned K i n g ' s C o l l e g e S t u d e n t U n i o n N e w s p a p e r ' M a g u s ' has been b a n n e d by the P r i n c i p a l S i r R i c h a r d W a y . A l t h o u g h the e t c h i n g i n q u e s t i o n m a y h a v e b e e n offensive o r obscene, to w i t h d r a w facilities a n d destroy the e x i s t i n g copies i n n o t h i n g short of c e n s o r s h i p . It p u t s t h e w h o l e q u e s t i o n o f t h e E d i t o r s ' a u t o n o m y in doubt.

T h e M i t c h a m F a y r e , w h i c h the e t c h i n g was a d v e r t i s i n g , takes p l a c e at the S p o r t s G r o u n d , L a v e n d e r A v e n u e , M i t c h a m S u r r e y , o n S a t u r d a y 3 0 t h J u n e . O r g a n i s e d by the S t u d e n t s ' U n i o n , t h e F a y r e a c t s as a finale to t h e c e l e b r a t i o n s o f K i n g ' s

W H A T ' S

ONI F R I D A Y 1st J U N E

C L U B ACTIVITY O R I E N T E E R I N G C L U B M e e t i n g . 12.30pm, U n i o n S C R . A r r a n g e m e n t s for S u n d a y ' s trip to B a g s h o t H e a t h will be finalised.

I M P E R I A L C O L L E G E C h r i s t i a n U n i o n 'Love's T r u e Nature' Steve W i l l i a m s H T B . 6.30pm. M u s i c R o o m , 53 P r i n c e s G a t e .

MISCELLANEOUS P H O T O S O C S h o p . 12.45 - 1-15pm. L i n s t e a d 532. If y o u don't collect y o u r prints s o o n , we will give them to O x f a m .

S U N D A Y 3rd

JUNE

C L U B ACTIVITY O R I E N T E E R I N G - Event at B a g s h o t H e a t h M i n i b u s leaves U n i o n a r c h at 8.30am.

T a k e a break from revising a n d c o m e a l o n g . C o u r s e s suitable for all.

S i g n up at F r i d a y s meeting.

M O N D A Y 4th

JUNE

MISCELLANEOUS P H O T O S O C S h o p 12.45 - 1.15pm. L i n s t e a d 211. Don't say we did not w a r n y o u ! . P.S. K o d a c h r o m e 25 and K o d a c h r o m e 64 now in stock.

P U B L I C A T I O N S B o a r d A G M . 6.30pm, B o t a n y / Z o o l o g y C o m m o n R o o m . I n c l u d i n g e l e c t i on of two o r d i n a r y m e m b e r s ( N o m i n a t i o n papers up in lower lounge), e l e c t i on of next years officers a n d presentation of annual reports.

T H U R S D A Y 7th

JUNE

MISCELLANEOUS A C C A G M - 5.30pm, U n i o n S C R . A l l c a p t a i n s a n d c a p t a i n s - e l e c t must attend. O b s e r v e r s w e l c o m e . A C C e l e c t i o n s / c l u b reports/tea a n d biscuits.

P H O T O S O C S h o p 12.45 - 1.15pm, L i n s t e a d 532. It is quite s u r p r i s i n g how m u c h r u b b i s h it is is p o s s i b l e to fit o n a What's O n form, e s p e c i a l l y if y o u write s m a l l a n d s q u a s h the letters together.

1 5 0 t h A n n i v e r s a r y . T h e F a y r e w i l l be o p e n e d by the M a y o r a n d M a y o r e s s o f M e r t o n at 2 . 0 0 p m . I n a d d i t i o n to m a n y r a l l i e s , t h e r e w i l l be a ' M o t o r - c y c l e M a d m e n ' d i s p l a y , p e n a l t y c o m p e t i t i o n s a g a i n s t a l s t D i v i s i o n g o a l k e e p e r a n d p l e n t y of food.

M a n y thanks a g a i n t h i s w e e k t o j o h n S. for c o l l a t i n g last n i g h t w h i l e I w a s at the P G B a r N i g h t , S h e y n e for t y p i n g m o r e t h a n w a s a c t u a l l y w r i t t e n ( ! ) , S o n i a a n d C o l i n for d e s p e r a t e l y n e e d e d n e w s s t o r i e s a n d D a v e f o r v a r i o u s b i t s of o r a n g e .

Cheers, John

APPLICATIONS A R E INVITED FOR T H E WARDENSHIP O F HAMLET GARDENS The successful candidate will be a postgraduate, preferably married, and likely to stay at IC for another two years.

A flat is provided for the Warden, rent free, and h e / s h e w i l l r e c e i v e an entertainments allowance.

Application forms' are available from the Union Office, and the Residence Office, R o o m 161, Sherfield Building, and the closing dateforapplications is Friday, 22nd June, 1979.

The Life and Times of an E C Cushion H o w are y o u a l l , out there i n e x a m l a n d ? I hope a l l this nailbiting revision and exam stress isn't leading to excessive s e l f a b u s e or any of the other m y r i a d o f evils that c a n cause y o u to go b l i n d (so I ' m told). T o p r o v i d e y o u w i t h light r e l i e f a n d give y o u a b r e a k f r o m a l l that v i s c o u s flow, mass transfer and v e c t o r f i e l d s , I'll i n f o r m y o u temporoary a l l about the p a r k i n g p e r m i t s c h e m e that is to operate over J u l y .

Temporary Parking Permits If y o u have a p e r m i t already, then by n o w y o u s h o u l d have a letter from me t e l l i n g y o u that if you w a n t it renewed for J u l y ie you a c t u a l l y i n t e n d to use it for J u l y then y o u have to come a n d let me or A n n i e in the U n i o n Office k n o w by J u n e or it w i l l be automatically reallocated to someone else a n d you w i l l lose it.

If y o u have not got a p e r m i t a l r e a d y , a n d w a n t one for J u l y then come and pick an a p p l i c a t i o n form from the U n i o n

Office a n d fill it in a n d h a n d it back to A n n i e by F r i d a y J u n e 8th. Please take note: O n l y have y o u r p e r m i t renewed or a p p l y for one for J u l y if you genuinely w a n t to park y o u r car in college regularly over J u l y , please d o n ' t a p p l y for one just in case you m i g h t need to p a r k i n C o l l e g e a couple of times over J u l y - you only make things worse for people who w a n t to park in college every day.

W e l l now that I've got m y n a m e in the F E L I X sports' pages I have v i r t u a l l y achieved the s u m of m y a m b i t i o n s ; a l l I need to do is get a request for T a n s y a n d myself on I C R a d i o and I can disappear into that great U n i o n in the skywhere everybody wears leather u n d e r w e a r a n d thigh length P V C boots.

A n y w a y folks, e n o u g h of these obscure jokes and obscure perversions.

See y o u about

(perhaps).

Mike Elkin P.S. T h a n k s for the U G A , M a r y !

Page 4

MEET JULIE MART: IPs PRESIDENT I ' l l s t a r l w i t h t h e b e s t b i t f i r s t ...

THE END A l l m y love, J u l i e xx W h a t m o r e c o u l d I a s k ... a n d t y p e at 5 0 w p m . t o k n i t , t a k e shorthand road, a n d I'm learning near Waitrose i n Gloucester I've now settled I ' d b e a b l e to t r a v e l . i f I studied languages last y e a r , knowing that start at I F i n S e p t e m b e r i n 1977. I decided to a n o i l e r f r o m C a m b r i d g e a i m . so. a f t e r r e j e c t i n g b e e n , a n d h o w it h a d n o h o w b o r i n g m y life h a d m y e d u c a t i o n . I realised to E n g l a n d 1975. I decided to lo further return.

Finally, in a n d swimming in billabongs.

Of chatting to S w a g m e n again. I soon grew tired s h i p p e d t o A u s t r a l i a w h e r e , less, became so d a d d y h a d m e I s o o n rest - s h e e p F r a m i n S i b e r i a , w i t h A u n t A g a t h a o n h e r whisked off to s t a y w i t h h e a d h u n t e r s , I w a s several disturbing encounters war. H o w e v e r after g a m m y l e g from t h e Boer service, because o f his was n o longer i n active G e n e r a l . B u t , l u c k i l y , h e as l a t h e r was a B r i g a d i e r forced to m o v e to Borneo, i n 1970w h e n w e were T h i s c a m e to a n a b r u p t e n d . to the s o u n d s o f m u s i c , edelweisses and listening frolicking amongst the days w e r e spent there their p a l a c e . M y e a r l y w e r e l i v i n g at the t i m e i n d a y s , a d u t c h o i l sheik a n d a u s t r i a n countess, a n d to V i e n n a , where. M u m m y in 1960,

whilst H y i n g H i g h Street

in our

p l a n e 2 0 , 0 0 0 feet a b o v e C l a p h a m I w a s b o r n to talk about

my

c h i l d h o o d . . . I ' v e a l w a y s f o u n d it hard.

T H E

BEGINNING.

SMALL ADSI WANTED

FOR S A L E

By R C C T r a n s p o r t - Large tarpaulin s u i t a b l e for c o v e r i n g r u c k s a c k s etc, o n the roof rack of a F o r d Transit v a n .

M G M I D G E T - ' S ' Reg., (Orange, red c o l o u r ) . 5,000 miles only.

Immaculate c o n d i t i o n - near brand new. P h o n e 01-642 5562 evenings or day time Internal 2881 and ask for Gill. ÂŁ3000 o.n.o.

DISCO "

Roy Attwood lnt.3313 SUBWARDENSHIP The post of S u b w a r d e n at Southwell House, 59 E v e l y n G d n s , will b e c o m e v a c a n t i n t h e autumn.

Applications from postgraduates at IC w h o preferably have another t w o years s t u d y are welcomed.

Please send a written a p p l i c a t i o n to the R e s i d e n c e Office, 161 Sherfield B u i l d i n g a n d / or make further e n q u i r i e s to Jill Clarke, John Percy Lab, Metallurgy. Int tel no 2175 or evenings at 01-370 4864.

FOR S A L E OLIVETTI portable typewriter (nearly new) with s p e c i a l features.

C o n t a c t : A Mills Int 4383.

T h e A g e - L i n k C h a r i t y D i s c o will be held in the J C R o n F r i d a y 8th J u n e from 8.00pm to 1.00am.

T i c k e t s are o n sale from A n n i e in the U n i o n Office p r i c e 6 0 p for students.

TO LET N o w for t w o or three weeks, D o u b l e rrom in P u t n e y flat, 1 o r 2 people. ÂŁ10 e a c h (Also available month of September) P h o n e Jane on 373 6914.

FROM SINGAPORE? T h e IC A l u m i n of S i n g a p o r e , 38 Saunders Road, Singapore 9, w o u l d be pleased to hear from any graduates returning to S i n g a p o r e .

T h e c l u b h a s been f o u n d e d to promote social and educational activities a m o n g s t its m e m b e r s

Mary

Mutters

(despite all attempts to stop her) For t h o s e of y o u w h o don't k n o w , y o u still have me as y o u r President until 30th J u n e ( despite the fact that w e h a n d e d over at the A n n u a l G e n e r a l M e e t i n g last T u e s d a y ) . I a m still m a n a g i n g to d i s c o v e r lots of fascinating t h i n g s to d o in the U n i o n office, (as well as d r i n k i n g sherry!) but if y o u have got any p r o b l e m s y o u think the U n i o n c o u l d help y o u with it is a better time of year to find m e in a state to listen carefully, as I am less likely to be t a l k i n g to 5 p e o p l e at o n c e while s i m u l t a n e o u s l y r u s h i n g off to 3 meetings.

Students required to withdraw The A n n u a l G e n e r a l Meeting w a s a s k e d to s u p p o r t my r e c o m m e n d a t i o n (which it did) that the U n i o n receive t h e n a m e s of students a s k e d to w i t h d r a w from college, in order to write to them a n d offer o u r help in f o l l o w i ng the a p p e a l p r o c e d u r e . T h e n a m e s w o u l d be treated c o n f i d e n t i a l l y by the U n i o n , with o n l y relevant officers seeing the names. If y o u have a n y violent objections to this please get in t o u c h with me as s o o n as p o s s i b l e , otherwise I will tell the C o l l e g e Registrar that w e are all in agreement.

Accommodation Officer I a m still p u r s u i n g the idea of getting a part-time A c c o m m o d a t i o n Officer w h i c h w e c o u l d p o s s i b l y finance from d o n a t i o n s from s m a l l c o l l e g e student u n i o n s nearby (in return for t h e use of o u r Welfare Centre).

Visit from Sweden T h e R e c t o r has agreed to s p o n s o r a return visit from a representative from C h a l m e r s S t u d e n t U n i o n . I h o p e that the President c a n visit us this term. W e are o r g a n i s i n g a party for the C h a l m e r s students o n e x c h a n g e here at the moment in early J u n e s o he w o u l d be able to lead the s o n g s !

I hope y o u are all enjoying y o u r e x a m s (sabbaticals don't have any, hee hee!).

Mary Attenborough President ICU

Page 5

Day B yD a y A ROUND-UP OF LAST W E E K ' S NEWS

Wednesday 23rd Canada takes right turn C a n a d a elected J o s e p h Clark Prime M i n i s t e r of the 282 seat H o u s e of C o m m o n s in Ottawa. T h e Tories u n d e r M r C l a r k h o l d 136 seats. Pierre T r u d e a u c o n c e d e d defeat in an e m o t i o n a l s p e e c h to h i s L i b e r a l party workers.

T h e C o n s e r v a t i v e s will need the s u p p o r t of the s m a l l S o c i a l C r e d i t party in order to have a majority.

House of Commons to move?

M r St J o h n - S t e v a s is to st udy the advisability of m o v i n g t h e C o m m o n s away from L o n d o n , p o s s i b l y to the M i d l a n d s .

A c c o m m o d a t i o n p r o b l e m s force M P s to dictate letters in the c o r r i d o r s o r cafeteria.

Nearly half of the 130 n e w m e m b e r s are without d e s k s , t e l e p h o n e or filing cabinets.

T h e y have formed a '79 A l l - P a r t y G r o u p ' to p u s h for better c o n d i t i o n s .

College Plans 'Meet British Day' The R o y a l Naval C o l l e g e , D a r t m o u t h , is a p p e a l i n g to residents in its area for help in giving its foreign officer trainees a more representative view of British life t han they c a n get from d i s c o t h e q u e s a n d night c l u b s .

Thursday 24th Just not cricket B r i a n Rose, S o m e r s e t ' s captain, was c r i t i c i s e d after d e c l a r i n g his side's i n n i n g s after just one over to guarantee a place in the quarter-finals of t h e B e n s o n a n d H e d g e s Cup. W o r c e s t e r s h i r e went into bat a n d w o n the m a t c h . However, b e c a u s e W o r c e s t e r s h i r e n e e d e d not o n l y to win but to improve their overall wicket rate, B r i a n R o s e ' s action effectively guaranteed Somerset's q u a l i f i c a t i on into a profitable quarter-final stage.

His ungentlemanly tactics effectively h a m p e r e d G l a m o r g a n w h o just failed to qualify. M r R o s e e x p l o i t e d a l o o p h o l e that n o w h e r e in the rules is the c o n d i t i o n stating that both sides s h o u l d do their best to win the game. T h e very e s s e n c e of cricket is that a rule s u c h as that s h o u l d never have to be written d o w n .

Lay by Day J o u r n a l i s t s writing f o r t h e R o y a l C o l l e g e of S c i e n c e magazine, B r o a d s h e e t , b e g a n a rival review of the week's news at Imperial C o l l e g e . the enlargement of This follows P e t e r b o r o u g h ' s ' L o n d o n Day by Day' c o l u m n in T h e Daily T e l e g r a p h .

T h e P r e s i d e n t of the ' B a n out of date news c a m p a i g n ' , M r J A l l e n b u r y , was interviewed during a Radio L o n d o n publicity campaign.

(206 metres M W . 1458 K H Z , 94.9 V H F . f r e e Stickers available from IC R a d i o ) . H e s a i d , T h e worrying spread of news reviews could lead to the end of newspapers as we know them. The current trend of students reading world news, once a week, in one quick burst is to read printed a sign of their unwillingness

material prefering a pint of Sams'.

to iisten to local radio over

Friday 25th America's worst air disaster A n A m e r i c a n A i r l i n e D C 1 0 J u m b o jet c r a s h e d c l o s e to a caravan park as it was taking off from O ' H a r e Airport, C h i c a g o . A l l 279 p e o p l e a b o a r d died in the worst air disaster in A m e r i c a . T w o residents o f the caravan park died after being hit by the blazing wreckage.

T h e D C 1 0 lost an e n g i n e shortly after takeoff. T h e pilot had been trained to c o p e with s u c h a n e m e r g e n c y but just after take-off there was not e n o u g h height for him to take avoiding action.

T h e plane lost p o w e r at 2,000 feet and turned u p s i d e d o w n a n d took a s w a n dive into an a b a n d o n e d airfield next to the c a m p .

NUS worried Three A p p e a l C o u r t j u d g e s ruled today that the t e n a n c y of a house, w h i c h is sub-let to students for multiple o c c u p a t i o n , d o e s not fall u n d e r the protection of the 1974 Rent Act. 'There is now no need for colleges to worry that accommodation, either privately owned or owned by themselves, could be logjammed by students refusing to move out at the end of their course. The benefit is that landlords will continue to lease accommodation for them under the exceptions from Rent Act protection'.

T h e N U S were w r r i e d that, if today's d e c i s i o n h a d g o n e t h e other w a y , their m e m b e r s might be least-favoured tenants.

Saturday 26th National Sponsored Cockroach Hunt A n y o n e w h o has had to sleep in the F E L I X Office d u r i n g a n all night paste-up s e s s i o n will k n o w that it's a g o o d hunting g r o u n d for c o c k r o a c h e s . D u r i n g the current national c o c k r o a c h hunt F E L I X staff have been instructed not to s q u a s h them, before b e d d i n g d o w n for the night, but to c a t c h the pests in jam jars. E a c h insect delivered alive for r e s e a r c h will earn a 5p d o n a t i o n for charities s u p p o r t i n g the International Y e a r of the C h i l d .

T h e s u g g e s t e d " h u n t i n g " t e c h n i q u e is to m a k e traps from jam jars w r a p p e d in b r o w n paper, r o u g h side out, to e n a b l e c o c k r o a c h e s to c l i m b the sides. T h e jars s h o u l d be baited with a little flour o r m a s h e d banana. " C a t c h - a - c o c k r o a c h " m o n t h is s p o n s o r e d

by R e n t o k i l . T h e y want more s p e c i m e n s for testing in t h e s e a r c h for better w a y s of e x t e r m i n a t i o n . A s p o k e s m a n s a i d today: "With any luck, hunters may find the larger chestnut-coloured cockroach or the rare brown banded cockroach.

England beat Scotland 3-1 E n g l a n d retained the B r i t i s h football c h a m p i o n s h i p today. T h f m a t c h was a g a m e of t w o c o n t r a s t i n g halves. A revitalised S c o t l a n d took c o n t r o l of the first half with

Wark s c o r i n g an early goal. However, a r o m p i n g , d a n c i n g , tartan, s k i n h e a d intruder w h o spent three minutes e l u d i n g the c l u t c h e s of five p a n t i n g p o l i c e m e n , not to m e n t i o n a finger-wagging, P o r t u g u e s e referee wearing a s h o c k i n g pink uniform, d i d the W e m b l e y International n o favours at all. In the time a d d e d o n for the intruder's presence, Peter B a r n e s , with a slow, w r i g g l i n g shot, put E n g l a n d back in the g a m e .

E n g l a n d took c o n t r o l of the s e c o n d half with g o a l s from C o p p e l l a n d K e e g a n .

Sunday 27th Fish market moves down river For more than 1,000 years B i l l i n g s g a t e has been the h o m e of L o n d o n ' s fish trade. The market is to m o v e from the C i t y of L o n d o n to a site d o w n river.

A ÂŁ7.2 m i l l i on d e v e l o p m e n t will be built at the West India D o c k in T o w e r H a m l e t s .

At present, about 90 firms e m p l o y i n g more than 800 people are e n g a g e d in the w h o l e s a l e fish trade at the market. But the traders say that the market has b e c o m e too s m a l l .

Monday 28th Britain to let in more Vietnamese Boat People 982 V i e t n a m e s e " B o a t P e o p l e " r e s c u e d from t h e S o u t h C h i n a S e a b y t h e British freighter S i b o n g a are to be admitted to Britain.

M r s T h a t c h e r took t h e d e c i s i o n to allow them in t h e m in for h u m a n i t a r i a n r e a s o n s but the G o v e r n m e n t is w o r r i e d about the other million refugees w h o will be e n c o u r a g e d to try to r e a c h our s h o r e s .

Petrol Shortage B a n k H o l i d a y traffic was kept to a m i n i m u m by the threat of rain a n d the w a r n i n g s of fuel shortages. However, t h e A A a n d R A C reported a flood of calls from motorists s t r a n d e d without petrol.

Tuesday 29th The British and American D C 10's Grounded Potentially d a n g e r o u s d e f i c i e n c i e s in the e n g i n e - w i n g a s s e m b l y of many D C 10's has forced the A m e r i c a n G o v e r n m e n t to g r o u n d all its D C 10 s. T h e C i v i l A v i a t i o n A u t h o r i t y sent a directive to British o p e r a t o r s to g r o u n d their airliners.

T h e p r e c i s e c a u s e of the loss of the D C 10 in C h i c a g o last Friday is still not clear and officials have been careful to s a y that the b r o k e n bolt f o u n d near the runway after the c r a s h may not n e c e s s a r i l y have been the sole cause.

Girls rush to meet sailors Folowing Wednesday's appeal to residents living near t h e D a r t m o o r Naval C o l l e g e to h e l p foreign trainees meet British people, the C o l l e g e has been s w a m p e d with h u n d r e d s of girls w a n t i n g to "meet a foreign m i d s h i p m a n . " S h a m e that the s a m e reaction didn't o c c u r d u r i n g 'Meet IC D a y " . •

Page 6

A Summer

Episode

PART II - The Reprieve Sue felt e m o t i o n a l l y n u m b . She h a d b e e n p e r m i t t e d to leave h o s p i t a l after h e r s u c c e s s f u l h y s t e r e c t o m y o n l y a week p r e v i o u s to her d e p a r t u r e for S a m o s , w h e r e she a n d h e r h u s b a n d Peter h a d b e e n for six days. She still f o u n d m o v e m e n t d i f f i c u l t a n d p a i n f u l : the s o r e s left b y the s t i c h e s i n h e r s t o m a c h w o u l d take a n o t h e r f o u r o r five w e e k s to h e a l p r o p e r l y . A t a n y rate, the p h y s i c a l p a i n w a s a w e l c o m e d i s t r a c t i o n f r o m the s p i r i t u a l v o i d w h i c h h a d lately engulfed h e r soul. E v e n now, she s t u b b o r n l y r e f u s e d to be s e d u c e d b y the i n s o u c i a n t a t m o s p h e r e w h i c h p e r v a d e d the A e g a n Isle. She r e p u l s e d too the s o o t h i n g e m b r a c e o f t h e G r e e k s u n s h i n e , w h i c h g a v e h e r the v a p o u r s .

She lit a n o t h e r c i g a r e t t e , t h e n i m m e d i a t e l y s t u b b e d it out. G o d ! H o w abhorred Greek tobacco!

she

S h e w a s a l o n e . P e t e r h a d g o n e s w i m m i n g w i t h s o m e M o n s i e u r s et M e d a m e s he h a d m e t i n t h e i r h o t e l . She p r e f e r r e d h e r s o l i t u d e to t h e i r l o a t h e s o m e c o m p a n y . Indeed, the v e r y sight o f people, especially chi l dren, galled her. F o r the b r u t a l r e p e r c u s s i o n o f h e r o p e r a t i o n was a p o i g n a n t reminder, like an ever-present shadow, of her two beloved, absent daughters - Jade and Augustine.

A t times, she felt as if she was p e e r i n g over the edge of some y a w n i n g abyss. T h e n a voice inside her w o u l d whisper beseechingly... 'Look away, lest you fall.' A n d she w o u l d glance a w a y , only lo b e h o l d a n eternity of desert, a r i d and desolate.

A t t h i r t y - l i v e , her gaunt features a l r e a d y betrayed the anxieties a n d dissipations of her i m m o d e r a t e v o u t h . H o w c o u l d she have been so irresponsible! H e r c h i l d r e n needed her. their m o t h e r . In whose a r m s were they now? Some C i r c e w i t h w h o m her e x - h u s b a n d had become m o m e n t a r i l y enfatuated? W h a t d e m o n had possessed her to concede sole custody to h i m ? H e r m i n d recoiled from the R h a d a m a n t i n e reasoning of her conscience. N o longer c o u l d her a m o u r - p a s s i o n for Peter viel the m o r t i f i c a t i o n she now felt at deserting her c h i l d r e n , her destiny.

H o w far back these r a b i d thoughts h a d led her by the h a n d . A l l the w h i l e she had l a i n motionlessly i n bed, nervously fingering a s t r i n g of worry-beads. F o l l o w i n g some c a p r i c e , she dressed h u r r i e d l y . W i t h i n a m i n u t e , the d o o r s l a m m e d noisily b e h i n d her.

T o a v o i d the m i l l i n g c r o w d s , she left the hotel by the back entrance. T h e n , w i t h downcast eyes, she m a d e her way t o w a r d s a q u a i n t t a v e r n a she k n e w on the outskirts of the village. In her self-preoccupation, she barely noticed a near-fatal collision between a pedestrian a n d a c a r w h i c h h a d o c c u r r e d almost right before her eyes.

Just t h e n , she stopped. A c h i l d , a s m a l l G r e e k g i r l , w i t h dishevelled a u b u r n h a i r , p l a i n t i v e eyes, a n d a g r u b b y , b r o n z e d face, b a r r e d h e r way. T h e c h i l d c o m m u n i c a t e d her needs b y a series o f gestures - Sue t h o u g h t perhaps that she was d u m b . She r u b b e d h e r st omach, p o i n t e d to h e r o p e n m o u t h , then earnestly stretched forth h e r h a n d . A s Sue delved i n t o h e r b a g , the g i r l repeated the series o f g e s t u r e s a g a i n a n d a g a i n .

U n f o r t u n a t e l y , Sue h a d left h e r r o o m i n such haste that she h a d forgotten to p i c k u p h e r purse. She felt c h a g r i n e d : she d e a r l y w a n t e d to give the c h i l d s o m e t h i n g , especially as she resembled h e r o w n A u g u s t i n e . In the midst ol her q u a n d a r y , Sue espied a gorgeous red flower b l o o m i n g m i r a c u l o u s l y ami dst the refuse i n the gutter. A r o u s i n g the keen curiosity o f h e r f r i e n d l y assailant, she stooped a w k w a r d l y to p l u c k it.

A s she presented the c h i l d w i t h the flower, a c c o m p a i n i e d b y a b r o a d , almost pitiful smile, the g i r l ' s c h e r u b i n e features become flushed w i t h anger.

S n a p p i n g the stork o f t h e flower i n two, the ungrateful g i r l t h r e w it a w a y i n disgust, then r a n off to j o i n h e r friends w h o h a d w a t c h e d the i n c i d e n t f r o m near-by.

This t r i v i a l e n c o u n t e r t o u c h e d the gentle lady's heart to the q u i c k . A s tears of wot: b u r n t h e r cheeks, she sat d o w n b y the c u r b side, w i t h the c h i l d r e n s ' m o c k i n g l a u g h t e r

r i n g i n g i n her ears. F o r a n h o u r or m o r e she r e m a i n e d there, w i t h her head s l u m p e d w e a r i l y between her knees, s t a r i n g fixedly down into that precipice oi doom.

Spontaneously, a series of images welled u p before her...she saw herself s t a n d i n g w i t h her c h i l d r e n on the edge of the c h a s m .

T h e n she knelt d o w n , m a d e the sign of the cross, a n d t u r n i n g to A u g u s t i n e w i t h a twisted half-smile, v i o l e n t l y pushed her into the gorge. A s she h e a r d the sound of her daughter's hideous scream die d o w n i n her ears, someone t a p p e d her l i g h t l y on the shoulder...

'Leave me alone,' she m o a n e d , still s w o o n i n g Irom the vividness of her m a c a b r e vision.

'Mummy, mummy, why are you kneeling?' asked a f a m i l i a r voice.

'Oh! Jade, my darling!'

Sue c r i e d ecstatically.

'And Augustine, you're alive!'

H u g g i n g her daughters to her h e a v i n g breast, she smothered thern in kisses ol r a p t u r o u s joy. '.Susan, are you all right?' i n q u i r e d a deep, sonorous voice Irom the past. In v a i n , S u s a n tried to regain her e q u a n i m i t y . She just m a n a g e d to r e t u r n her e x - h u s b a n d ' s greeting w i t h a t h i n smile.

A g h a s t at the c o n n i v a n c e s of late, gazed silently at each other.

audacity! Susan, haven't you come down from the morphine injections they gave you in the hospital? I have no wish to see Virgil...1 refuse outright!' Peter t h u n d e r e d , b r i n g i n g his fist d o w n o n the table to emphasise the vehemence of his t a u n t i n g words. 'And I forbid vou lo see him either!' he a d d e d , his eyes ablaze w i t h jealousySue, for once unperturbed by her husband's sarcastic remonstrances, a n n o u n c e d w i t h that c a l m d e l i b e r a t i o n o l w h i c h o n l y w o m e n are c a p a b l e .

Tf> are all to be re-united.' T h e y o u n g m a n broke into a scornful l a u g h .

'Just what makes you think..'

'He's bringing the children,'

Sue i n t e r r u p t e d .

'I'm sorry., but I'm still bewildered .in God's name, it hat difference does that make? A re they some kind of talisman, do they magically transform mens lives by their mere presence? Tell me...I'm waiting.'

Peter jeered, f o l d i n g his a r m s i n a gesture of impatience. ' You know you are endeared to them Peter.

Why do you act out this pantomime of indifference?

Don't you remember how we three began?'

'Yes I do. You and Virgil corrupted an innocent, guileless specimen of nineteen.'

'Corrupted indeed, Sue rejoindered i n a teasing tone. 'Peter, none of us were exactly angels of virtue.' '.Xo well. I should never have accepted such a portentous invitation', Peter r e m a r k e d , r e c a l l i n g the events o f some six years ago.

'Virgil and I didn't know what would become of it. Troilism is not a common practice... in one sense, we were as naive as you.. .perhaps more so. For il was our joint decision to form a menage a lrois...it was like administering hemlock to the lips of our marraige,' Sue a d d e d as a n after-thought.

'An enchanting simile...but you're right.

Troilism transgresses the very ethnical fabric of society : hence its fascination,' Peter c o n t i n u e d p h i l o s o p h i c a l l y . 'Hut wait. What have Augustine and Jade lo do with all this? by the way, how are they?'

'Peter. Sit down,' Sue o r d e r e d tersely.

'What.'

'Sit down, please. Here, next to me,' Peter obeyed his wile's edict, sensing the o m i n o u s change i n her tone of voice. Af t er a b r i e l silence, Sue p r o c l a i m e d , 'Peter, you are a father.'

'Yes I know', he answered, his voice tinged with an admixture of pride and disappointment.

Wo I don't mean by thai whore woman Lucy.' '...then with..what..whom?..how?' as confused as he s o u n d e d .

Peter was

'You are the father of my youngest daughter Augustine.' S u s a n looked her h u s b a n d straight in the eye.

'Is it possible? How - wail - are you sure?' Peter ransacked the recesses of his m e m o r y lor evidence to confirm this astounding revel ati on.

'Without doubt,' Sue assured h i m .

Speechless w i t h e m o t i o n , Peter e m b r a c e d his wile...the o n l y w o m a n he h a d ever k n o w n w h o m he h a d w a n t e d to bear his c h i l d .

'Oh! Mind my stomach...it's lender'. Sue e x c l a i m e d .

still extremely

they

A t that m o m e n t , there was a knock at the door

'It's uncanny,' Peter e x c l a i m e d .

'Andyou've asked him lo come here! To our hotel room. What

By - Justin Newland W r i t t e n a n d c o n c e i v e d M a y '79

Page 7

London Students Travel Or at least about 20,000 of them do, out of about 0.25m, using London Student Travel, the student-owned travel company.

For weeks now I have been awaiting their Report and Accounts but, since they didn't have their own accountant until very recently, the auditors, (Spicer and Pegler would you believe!) have had quite a bit of work to do.

So, to fill In the time I shall leak highly boring information because I have little else to do.

Sales of the company last year amounted to around £560,000.

Revenue to the company was 11% or about £60,000. Profits estimates are put at between £5,000 and £8,000.

The authorised capital of the Company is £24,000 (are you getting bored?) of which £10,000 is issued, £5,000 being held by Exchange Travel and £1,000 by Imperial College Union.

E c o n o m i c s is a c l o s e d book to many, e s p e c i a l l y w h e n they think in terms of the £40 a week that c o m e s from their grant c h e q u e . £560,000 (it is s l i g h t l y m o r e c o m p r e h e n s i b l e t o me t h a n £0.56m) is o n e heck of a lot of money, until y o u start l o o k i n g at, s a y B P ' S profits (£444.4m) or Unilever's first quarter sales (£2,585m). O n e week's r e a d i n g the F i n a n c i a l T i m e s is e n o u g h t o m a k e a n y b o d y w o n d e r w h e r e all the m o n e y gets to. T h e p r o b l e m is that m o n e y keeps g o i n g r o u n d a n d r o u n d in c i r c l e s a n d turnover figures s i g n p o s t part of the d i r e c t i o n in w h i c h it w a s travelling.

H a v i n g s a i d that, profits a r e t h e part of the turnover w h i c h , at a n y particular time, b e l o n g s t o the c o m p a n y w h i c h is c r e a t i n g that turnover.

T h o u g h I d o not w i s h t o i n d u l g e in a f u l l - b l o o d e d capitalist a p o l o g i a I will point out that profits rarely ' b e l o n g ' for l o n g but get p a s s e d o n to s h a r e h o l d e r s ( w h o s p e n d it) o r spent by the c o m p a n y i n o r d e r t h a t i t w i l l m a k e a profit the next year. (Note, if y o u want t o s p e e d the revolution the best w a y is t o d o the s u p r e m e l y capitalist t h i n g , ie light y o u r cigarettes, gas rings or other fires with £20 notes!)

T o m a k e profits it is required t o e m p l o y c a p i t a l . It is very u n u s u a l for a c o m p a n y t o be r e q u i r e d to pay c a s h for a n y g o o d s or services it requires but it will not get t h o s e t h i n g s unless the s u p p l i e r t h i n k s it will get paid.

T h e s u p p l i e r must s e e that C a p i t a l exists t o pay the bill s o m e t i m e o r it will not s u p p l y . However, t h e rate of return o n capital is important, it is u n d e s i r a b l e for this return to be low.

W h i c h b r i n g s m e t o a n o t h e r b o r i n g figure, R e t u r n o n C a p i t a l E m p l o y e d , 50-80%. T h i s is a truly a m a z i n g figure a n d c a n o n l y be a c h i e v e d b e c a u s e t h e C o m p a n y is s m a l l . H o w e v e r as with ail y o u n g c o m p a n i e s L S T is u n d e r - c a p i t a l i z e d .

Of the £14,000 of u n u s e d capital E x c h a n g e Travel has first o p t i o n o n £7,000. T h i s is a travel c o m p a n y o w n e d b y a h i g h l y respected but mildly e c c e n t r i c travel s a l e s m a n c a l l e d G e o r g e M c N a l l y who, o n one o c c a s i o n , m a r c h e d u p a n d d o w n o n the B r i t i s h s i d e of the bridge c o n n e c t i n g G i b r a l t o r a n d S p a i n c a r r y i n g a U n i o n F l a g in a rather u n s u b t l e attempt to get the S p a n i s h authorities to a l l o w travel a c r o s s it.

In a s i n g u l a r l y u n c h a r a c t e r i s t i c a c t i o n , for w h i c h w e a re eternally grateful, h e agreed t o m a t c h , p o u n d for p o u n d , a n y capital put up by student U n i o n s for L S T u p t o a total of £24,000 (ie he w o u l d c o m m i t £12,000). Let there be n o d o u b t about it, this is a g o o d t h i n g , it makes a n y c a p i t a l that w e c o n t r i b u t e m u c h m o r e effective. H o w e v e r L S T needs more.

T h e capital is u s e d t o provide b o n d s , that is s u m s of m o n e y m a d e over to o u r s u p p l i e r s a s a g u a r a n t e e that w e will p a y t h e m for a n y services they s u p p l y us. (I have started identifying with L S T s o us, o u r a n d we m e a n s the C o m p a n y in v a r i o u s s e n s e s , however, to c o n f u s e y o u , it might m e a n I C U o c c a s i o n a l l y ) . T h e C o m p a n y deals in s e l l i n g j o u r n e y tickets for air, rail a n d ferry trips, both to s t u d e n t s in L o n d o n a n d to other S t u d e n t Travel B u r e a u x , a s well a s s o m e i n c l u s i v e o r p a c k a g e h o l i d a y s . It has c o n s i d e r a b l e s c o p e f o r e x p a n s i o n in every field in w h i c h it operates, a fact w h i c h is r e c o g n i s e d b y other c o m p a n i e s w h o have a p p r o a c h e d L S T with an a i m t o p r o v i d i n g c a p i t a l . T h e s e have been turned down.

Of c o u r s e , most s h a r e h o l d e r s look for a return o r d i v i d e n d o n their investment. A g a i n , I d o not w i s h t o i n d u l g e in a diatribe o n the subject of the value of o u r s h a r e h o l d i n g in a C o m p a n y w h i c h provides a service to o u r (ICU's) m e m b e r s w h i c h they like to have, w h i c h is reliable a n d w h i c h may be m o r e c o n v e n i e n t s u p p l i e d in that way. It is a c h a r g e that is levelled against L S T quite often that their p r o d u c t s are not p a r t i c u l a r l y c h e a p . W e ( L S T ) attempt t o sell p r o d u c t s (air flights, holidays) that give value-for-money, where, barring air-traffic c o n t r o l l e r s ' s t r i k e s , if a ticket is b o u g h t a seat will be reserved a n d the flight will o c c u r . L S T is not a b u c k e t s h o p . C h e a p e r p r o d u c t s might b e p o s s i b l e if turnover increases a n d profits rise. A n y w a y , L S T has n o intention at the m o m e n t to declare a dividend.

T h e return o n £10,000 invested in a B u i l d i n g S o c i e t y w o u l d be about £800 (in B P it w o u l d be about £350). T h e r e f o r e it is p o s s i b l e to a r g u e that s i n c e this is between about 16% and 10% of e s t i m a t e d profits it is not e x c e s s i v e . It m e a n s o u r d i v i d e n d c o v e r w o u l d b e between 6 a n d 10 (Total p r o f i t s / T o t a l dividends) w h i c h is h i g h l y respectable (as i n d e e d is a y i e l d of 8%). H o w e v e r the capital needs of o u r c o m p a n y is s u c h that o u r profits may well be m u c h better e m p l o y e d as retained e a r n i n g s .

T h e r e is an a r g u m e n t that s o m e kind of definite return will e n c o u r a g e m a n y of the student u n i o n s w h o have not invested in L S T to d o so. But student u n i o n s c a r e little about g o o d investment strategies as s h o w n by, (a) the fact that s h a r e s in L S T are being offered o n a r i d i c u l o u s l y l o w P/E ( Pr i ce of share / E a r n i n g s per share - between 2 a n d 1.25) (b) Student U n i o n s , as charities, invest in B u i l d i n g S o c i e t i e s anyway.

A rapid s c a n t h r o u g h the F i n a n c i a l Times will s h o w there a re few c o m p a n i e s w h o s e shares c a n be obtained o n s u c h a low P/E a n d as charities student u n i o n s c a n get gross returns o n their investments while B u i l d i n g S o c i e t y interest is paid net.

A n alternative t o giving a d i v i d e n d is to give a s c r i p issue. At say, 1 for 10 this w o u l d m e a n that I C U h a d £1100 invested in L S T , (instead of £1000) an apparent return of 10%, w h i l e the actual m o n e y is retained as C a p i t a l by the C o m p a n y . However, this w o u l d i n c r e a s e E x c h a n g e Travel's, h o l d i n g by £500 without them a c t u a l l y putting up any c a s h s o it w o u l d deprive L S T of £500 of their money, p e r h a p s an agreement c o u l d be r e a c h e d to modify this unsatisfactory effect.

In the meantime, c o n t r i b u t e to L S T ' s profitability by b o o k i n g y o u r h o l i d a y t h r o u g h the C a m p u s Office.

Christopher D Hunt

GAYSOC People who

w h o a r e l e a v i n g college at t h e e n d o f this t e r m , a n d a n y o n e

is n e r v o u s a b o u t i n v o l v i n g t h e m s e l v e s

in the college G A Y S O C ,

a n d I k n o w t h e f e e l i n g f r o m p e r s o n a l e x p e r i e n c e , m a y find t h e f o l l o w i n g organisations helpful:Gay Switchboard: 01-837 7324. G i v e s i n f o r m a t i o n , help a n d advice on almost anything, always

open.

Icebreakers: 0 1 - 2 7 4 9 5 9 0 . A g a y c o u n s e l l i n g o r g a n i s a t i o n w h i c h w i l l talk o v e r p e r s o n a l p r o b l e m s o f gays, b i s e x u a l , a n d p e o p l e u n c e r t a i n , a n d w i l l i n t r o d u c e y o u at meetings to other people i n the same position.

Lesbian

Line:

01-794 2942. Information

a n d advice

for w o m e n .

R i n g i n the evening.

London Friend:

0 1 - 3 5 9 7371 - o r c a l l at 2 7 4 U p p e r Street

Islington

(7.30 - 1 0 . 3 0 p m ) . A d v i c e a n d h e l p o n a n y p r o b l e m , i n c l u d i n g m a r r i e d gays.

Quest: A C a t h o l i c g r o u p for h o m o s e x u a l m e n a n d w o m e n . C o n t a c t the secretary at 8 D S o u t h P a r k R o a d , L o n d o n S W 1 9 8 S T .

Metropolitan Community Church: A C h r i s t i a n group, contact L e o N o r t h , 01-592 0085.

Jewish Gay Group: C o n t a c t N o r m a n G o l d n e r , 5 St. M a r v ' s

Avenue.

London, N3 1SN.

Bookshop - Gay's T h e Word: 66 M a r c h a n t Street. L o n d o n W C 1.01278 7654. R u s s e l S q u a r e T u b e . G a y a n d feminist Gay

News: l a N o r m a n d

books.

Gdns , Greyhound Road, London, W 1 4

9 S B . C o p i e s of the fortnightly gay newspaper c a n be o b t a i n e d by the post (discretely) for 5 0 p .

Sappho Magazine: F o r lesbians, c a n be o b t a i n e d f r o m T h e B a s e m e n t .

20 Dorset Square, N W 1 6 Q B . 01-724 3636 .

U L U Gaysoc. Meetings: U n i v e r s i t y o f L o n d o n U n i o n ( U L U ) h o l d meetings every T h u r s d a y evening from 8 . 0 0 p m in the U L U b u i l d i n g .

M a l e t Street. T h e meetings c o m p r i s e a speaker followed b y discussion.

T h e meetings are usually held i n r o o m 2 F o n the second floor (though t h e r e is a l a r g e n o t i c e b o a r d i n t h e e n t r a n c e h a l l g i v i n g t h e m e e t i n g r o o m for e a c h society). Nearest tube: G o o d g e Street.

U L U Gaysoc Discos: H e l d e v e r y W e d n e s d a y e v e n i n g f r o m 8 . 3 0 p m i n the upstairs b a r o f the Sols A r m s P u b . o n H a m p s t e a d R o a d .

Nearest

tube: W a r r e n

Street.

If y o u l o s e t h e n u m b e r o f a n y o f t h e s e o r g a n i s a t i o n s , just a s k t h e o p e r a t o r for t h e n u m b e r o f t h e G a y S w i t c h b o a r d . T h e i m p o r t a n t t h i n g t o r e m e m b e r is t h a t b e i n g b i s e x u a l o r g a y is n o t t h e e n d of t h e w o r l d . I t ' s the start o f a n e w w o r l d .

Page 8 d i d n ' t like it! By 9.30 the sun h a d set a n d the c o l d began to get t h r o u g h . W e h a d got to the slag heap, w h i c h , fortunately, was o n the same b e a r i n g as the T o r but not a c t u a l l y what we thought it was! A f t e : some fifteen minutes discussion as to where we were a n d where the T o r was w i t h a couple of e q u a l l y bewildered R A F teams we set off a g a i n . After h a l f a m i l e we were pretty w e l l finished, the T o r was a good mile away a n d we were w i t h i n a few h u n d r e d yards of not w a l k i n g any further. W e reached a river, d r o p p e d e v e r y t h i n g & that was it for S a t u r d a y . A b o u t 40 miles b e h i n d us a n d 30 to go, but w i t h N e i l ' s stew, five cups of tea a n d a blissfully w a r m sleeping b a g in between.

TTCS Double on Ten Tors

by Stuart Blackman O n the 19th/20th this m o n t h the 20th A n n u a l T e n T o r s w a l k took p l a c e o n D a r t m o o r . T h i s event, o r g a n i s e d b y the a r m y a n d e n t e r e d by about two a n d a h a l f t h o u s a n d w a l k e r s , is not a r a c e but a test o f p h y s i c a l e n d u r a n c e a n d the a b i l i t y to m a p r e a d r o u n d a b a s i c a l l y featureless m o o r .

T e a m s w a l k as sixes a n d must be c o r r e c t l y e q u i p p e d before b e i n g a l l o w e d to start, a l l part of the rigorous schedule that has to be c o m p l e t e d o n the F r i d a y night. S h o u l d walkers be lost t h r o u g h injury, exposure or e x h a u s t i o n the team may o n l y c o n t i n u e if four or m o r e members still r e m a i n , if not they must j o i n u p w i t h a n o t h e r p a r t y o n their route. T h i s is a l l part o f t h e safety p r e c a u t i o n s necessary to survive the p o t e n t i a l hazards of the moor. T h e courses are 35, 45 a n d 55 miles long.

In the past R C S h a d o n l y l i m i t e d success - the lst year (1976). the ladies o n l y reached the t h i r d T o r . a n d the m e n , slowed by 2 injuries, were crashed out at the p e n u l t i m a t e T o r . In 1977 a single mens' team c o m p l e t e d the ' 5 5 ' w i t h the loss of two. L a s t year the ladies, however, excelled a n d c o m p l e t e d the ' 3 5 ' .

T h i s year was u n b e l i e v a b l e in its o u t c o m e . T h e weather was beautiful a l l the way, w h i c h m a d e for d r y throats, b o i l i n g feet a n d wet backs. A p a r t from that we c o u l d not have asked lor more!

T h e L a d i e s team, led by H e l e n made a c r a c k i n g repetition of their last year's success.

Their performance was o u t s t a n d i n g on their 35 m i l e route.

Despite very difficult c o n d i t i o n s they reached and c a m p e d at their 8 t h T o r by the end of the first day.

They c o n t i n u e d their course the next day in as good f o r m , a r r i v i n g triumphantly b a c k in O k e h a m p t o n at 12.40 as a c o m p l e t e team. T h i s was more t h a n 4 hours before the a l l o c a t e d t i m e , a n d as such they deserve every recognition and commendations.

T h e team was: H e l e n G r o g a n , Julia Towns, L i z K a y , H i l a r y Carter, Averil Horton, Sunila Nimalasuriya.

T h e M e n ' s team was really up against it. O u r route i n v o l v e d a lot of t r i c k y m a p r e a d i n g a r o u n d restricted areas, the penalty for straying into these being disqualification.

Although the' route was 55 miles as the c r o w flies, the distance w a l k e d was u p w a r d s of 70 miles. T h i n g s w e n t . fine for the first h a l f h o u r , we reached the first T o r a n d set off pretty fast for the second. T h e t e a m was not yet established a n d everyone was h a v i n g his little say as to where to go a n d what to do.

The result was that a d e m o c r a t i c a l l y formed decision took us both ways through G i d l e i g h C o m m o n , the most notorious b o g o n the m o o r ,

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For the unfortunates who are not members of Mines Union and for those who are but couldn't / didn't go to the last two Union Meetings, the following people are next session's Union Officers.

President C h r i s S l e a p (GIT) V i c e Pres Trev Fletcher Hon Sec Bernie Pryor Ents Officer S t u Vine HJT Annabel Thorn AAO Pete B a m f o r d S p o r t s Officer . . . . Pete N e w m a n R u g b y C a p t a i n . . . Dave R h o d e s Soccer Captain Steve H i n d e H o c k e y C a p t a i n .. B o b H o l d i n g P u b l i c i t y Off. K a r e n W o o d h o u s e

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W e m a d e it in by 3.45, the fourth c o m p l e t e team o f t h e 20 on o u r route a n d i n the m i d d l e of the R A F teams. W h a t m a d e this possible, because it was really quite r i d i c u l o u s that we s h o u l d have done it at a l l , was the fact that the t e a m was one.

H o n Pornographer. Rich Wilson (Deviant) Appeal: C a n all o u t s t a n d i n g articles (if any) for the freshers booklet be given to A n d y Lewis (Megagit) as s o o n as poss (ie a c o u p l e of w e e k s ago).

Also a r t i c l e s for the Freshers Newsletter (Don't laugh) be in by or d u r i n g the last week of term.

Note: It might be c o n s i d e r e d an e x c r u c i a t i n g l y brilliant i d e a if the O f f i c e r s ' articles for these two literary masterpieces were different o t he r w i se we (especially me) are g o i n g to a p p e a r rather foolish.

Quote: P J Leggatt ( G u i l d s m a n Extraordinaire) 7 can tell you, spermicide and lubricant don't taste very nice.'

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B y S a t u r d a y night, 6.30, we had r e a c h e d the fifth T o r - a n d had to c a m p by the sixth to have any hope of finishing. T h i n g s h a d got pretty t o u g h for everyone by that stage a n d the prospect of a further 3.25 hrs m a r c h was not u n a n i m o u s l y looked f o r w a r d to, h o w e v e r we set off a n d even N e i l DRAKJE

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F o x started u p a relentless h a i l of abuse at 4.15 w h i c h c o n t i n u e d u n t i l 4.40, no one was a l l o w e d breakfast u n t i l his tent was d o w n , boots o n a n d a l l but teeth cleaned, but it w o r k e d a n d we were olf again at 5.10am. T h e next two stretches we belted, d o i n g the 12 miles in 2 hours 25 mins. T h i s put

us in a good position to tackle the r e m a i n i n g 3 tors. It d i d not, however, alter the i m p e n d i n g problems of p e r f o r m i n g said m a r c h . It is not really w i t h i n m y a b i l i t y to describe the last eighteen to twenty miles w i t h o u t sounding melodramatic and possibly r i d i c u l o u s . It was the most p u n i s h i n g experience I have ever h a d a n d one I d o n ' t t h i n k I w o u l d w i s h to repeat. It was t h r o u g h C h r i s ' s leadership a n d M i c h a e l ' s e x a m p l e , that we made it, but everyone p l a y e d a part, D a v e for his fine front w a l k i n g a n d m a p r e a d i n g . M o for m a k i n g me feel that if he c o u l d suffer his feet then so c o u l d I, a n d N e i l lor his excellent performance as m o t h e r a n d his fine e x a m p l e of what 24 h o u r c y c l i n g m a r a t h o n s c a n do for y o u o n T e n Tors.

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Page 9

The

Brain Drain

Exams M o s t p e o p l e will have started e x a m s by now, but w h e n you've finished please r e m e m b e r that there are still lots of people trying to sleep at night or work late for their e x a m the day afterwards, so w h e n y o u roll out of the U n i o n B a r p i s s e d out of y o u r head after finishing, please try to be quiet.

A n d I do still keep a b u c k e t of water o n the b a l c o n y o u t s i d e my r o o m above the a r c h w a y to pour on any e x c e s s i v e l y i n c o n s i d e r a t e piss-artists.

Freshers' Fair F o r m s have been sent out to all U n i o n societies for next years' F r e s h e r s ' Fair; a n y o n e else w h o w i s h e s to a p p l y for a stall for any o r g a n i s a t i o n s h o u l d c o l l e c t an a p p l i c a t i o n form from A n n i e .

Unfortunately, s p a c e is a l w a y s s c a r c e a n d p r e c e d e n c e will be societies g i v e n to U n i o n (particularly t h o s e w h i c h h a n d their forms in o n time!) next To all chairmen

years'

societies

F r e s h e r s ' Fair a n d key survey forms have been sent to this year's c h a i r m e n , s o if y o u want to m a k e sure that a d e q u a t e a r r a n g e m e n t s are being made for y o u r society, make sure that y o u r p r e d e c e s s o r has a c t u a l l y bothered to fill the forms in a n d return them to the U n i o n Office. If not, forms are available from A n n i e .

Malcolm Brain ICU Deputy President

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7

Your writing could help you pay for your . next vacation. Write not more than 1200 words about your travels this summer.

There are three prizes, £250, £150, and £100.

A n d prize-winning essays are published in the Sunday Telegraph.

So get writing now. You can pack later.

Closing date for entries 31st October 1979.

The SundayTelegraph-Schweppes Student Travel Competition.

Entries to: Sunday Telegraph Travel, 135 Fleet Street, London EC4 4BL. Open to full time students only. Entries to be typed double spaced on one side of the paper only.

Judges decision is final. Any essay may be published at the discretion of the Sunday Telegraph.

Send s.a.e. if typescript is to be returned.

LEAVING COLLEGE THIS YEAR? Don't forget to become a life member before you leave so you can enjoy the facilities. Forms are available from Jen in the Union Office now.

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Page 10

Singles R e v i e w : L e i g h Foster T h i s is the last one ol these things I a m g o i n g to do for a w h i l e , "cos I a m shortly o i l for a h o l i d a y i n the B a h a m a s (actually I"ve got exams like everyone else but that's boring). A n y w a y these are the latest b a t c h ol new a n d used singles that I C R a d i o has been sent: First oil" is G e r r y RafTerty's new single w h i c h I a m r e l i a b l y i n f o r m e d is getting quite a lot of a i r p l a y (Tris has h e a r d it a n y w a y ) . P o o r G e r r y started ofl w i t h such a n e n o r m o u s hit that a l l -his other singles since have been c o m p a r e d to it. u n f a v o u r a b l y m o r e often t h a n not (you do r e m e m b e r ' B a k e r Street' d o n ' t you?) T h i s nasty tactic is used by record reviewers to a v o i d t a l k i n g about the r e c o r d i n its o w n right, for e x a m p l e I c o u l d say about this one; ' N i c e try by the B a k e r Street m a n , but u n f o r t u n a t e l y not u p to the same s t a n d a r d . L a c k s the saxophone a n d the incisive g u i t a r p l a y i n g , cannot achieve the same success", but I w o n ' t .

K i r s t y M a c C o l l ; 'They don't k n o w ' (Stiff) I h a d n ' t heard of this w o m a n before but seeing as the r e c o r d is o n the Stiff label, I thought I w o u l d check it out (also because her p i c t u r e o n the sleeve is q u i t e appealing). H e r voice

RECORDS sounds uncannily like Poly Styrene's w o u l d if she c o u l d sing melodically.

N i c e voice, shame about the tune., ft c o u l d be that Ms M a c C o l l has no i n t e n t i o n ol singing anything of greatei consequence t h a n this l i m p ditty, but if she does I'll sit u p a n d listen.

T h e Regulars; 'Fool's Game'.

T i p p e d to be very big, the Regulars are part of the spearhead that R e g g a e is shoving firmly into the charts. W h i l e this song compromises slightly in the d i r e c t i o n of M O R , it has a pleasant effect o n the e a r d r u m s B o b M a r l e y has p r o v e d that reggae c a n m a k e hit records w i t h o u t m a k i n g concessions for mass acceptance, but then there is o n l y one B o b M a r l e y . A n y o n e , by the way, that says B o b M a r l e y isn't real reggae c a n d r o p dead.

J e a n Jacques Burnel; Freddie L a k e r ( C o n c o r d e a n d Eurobus)..

T h i s gave me a bit of a shock to be honest. It starts off, as y o u w o u l d expect, w i t h a bit of Bass g u i t a r i n g (almost like 'Peaches'), then it blisters a l o n g at a great pace u n t i l the vocals start, if y o u c a n c a l l t h e m vocals. Someone has h a d a cement mixer surgically i m p l a n t e d on their v o c a l track from the b o t t o m of the A t l a n t i c , a n d these are the good points!

T o o w i e r d for me. W a y n e C o u n t y

a n d the E l e c t r i c C h a i r s : ' B e r l i n ' I have to confess that despite the fuss b e i n g made over her, t have not heard any of her songs before, so I c a n o n l y say w h a t sort of impression this song m a d e on me.

T h e a m b i v a l e n t gender of the voice is di s t r ac t i ng, I a m not sure which M C o u n t y is at the moment, but either way he/she/it has a distinctive style w h i c h is not unpleasant, but does not seem to fit in w i t h the d a r k l y sinister b a c k i n g track. I a m t o ld that the single w i t h the rude title...you k n o w the one; 'If y o u d o n ' t want to F.ck me, F . c k ofl! (modesty a n d the L a w prevent me from p r i n t i n g it in full)... was m u c h more bo unc y a n d singalong, even if the chorus is decidely not the sort of t h i n g to sing in the b a t h w h i l e y o u r M u m is in the house.

Last one but one then, the end is n i g h . T i m H a r t w i t h 'Overseas'.

T h e n a m e of this bloke rings a bell, a n d from the s o u n d of the song he c o u l d have been i n some group like F'airport before a n y of us were b o r n . T h e title lends itself very nicely to nasty rock-reviewer type comments like 'Overseas is where T i m H a r t a n d a l l his records should be, the nearer to S i b e r i a the better', but sadly for further me it does m e r i t c o m m e n t , so I have to t h i n k of something o r i g i n a l a n d w i t t y to say about it. It has a pleasant

enough tune, makes no demands on y o u r b r a i n , a n d i l it is sunny in will the next two months p r o b a b l y be a hit.

F'inally I w i l l ask T r i s to give you a review of the last record w h i c h is from D r Feelgood, a n d ' A s l o n g as the price is r i g h t ' is the name of it (as J P says). W e l l T r i s ? . . . P e r h a p s ! ! ! . . . I say perhaps, Because , not h a v i n g heard the record, I d o n ' t consider myself p a r t i c u l a r l y well qualified to j u d g e it. A h ! . . . L e i g h ' s just about to play if for me.

Ang abar t ! having now heard it) P e r h a p s ! ! ! T h a n k you T r i s for that s c a t h i n g attack a n d vicious c r i t i c i s m , I'd better tell you it's pretty standard Feelgood's fare, not as good as ' M i l k a n d A l c o h o l ' , but just about the best of this b u n c h , in fact single of t.he week, i n fact single of the decade, n o b o d y cares what I t h i n k a n y w a y , y o u a l l sit out there r e a d i n g this a n d it makes no impression on y o u , w e l l I say this record is the Greatest single of a l l time. P h e w ! sorry... I get c a r r i e d away sometimes. It is e x a m time after a l l . Before closing this weeks epistle I must t han k the person in F E L I X w h o has to w a d e t h r o u g h this to type it u p , also I C R a d i o for letting me use their studios, a n d of course m y M u m a n d D a d w i t h o u t w h o m I w o u l d not have been possible. See y o u next Y e a r !

: ROWING

Boat Club Double Victory British University Champions A t the recent B r i t i s h U n i v e r s i t y S p o r t s F e d e r a t i o n R o w i n g C h a m p i o n s h i p s , t w o IC c r e w s r e p r e s e n t i n g T h e U n i v e r s i t y o f L o n d o n , t r i u m p h e d against s t r o n g o p p o s i t i o n to b e c o m e B U S F C h a m p i o n s . T h e c o x e d f o u r beat N e w c a s t l e a n d N o t t i n g h a m i n the f i n a l , w h i l e C h r i s H o w e l l s t r e t c h e d his u n b e a t e n r u n to seven w i n s i n t a k i n g the s i n g l e s c u l l s . T h e coxless f o u r n a r r o w l y lost to a h e a v i e r D u r h a m c r e w b y 3 feet.

T h e s e events were held i n N o t t i n g h a m on the 2000m course, on the same w e e k e nd as N o t t i n g h a m C i t y regatta. T h e Boat C l u b also c o m p e t e d i n this on S u n d a y . T h e successes were the coxed lours who w o n the senior A event a n d the W o m e n w h o w a l k e d a w a y w ith Ladies N o v i c e fours.

T h e c o x e d four, beaten on S a t u r d a y in the S e n i o r A l i n a l by W a l l i n g f o r d S c h o o l , w a l k e d a w a y w i t h the same event on the S u n d a y .

T h e L a d i e s f o u r s t a r t e d like a rocket a n d were always in the lead in their event, w i n n i n g by over 30 sees in o n l y a four m i n u t e race.

T h e first eight h a d its first race w i t h a new crew order on the S u n d a y a n d after a p r o m i s i n g start, never really put it together a n d finished a d i s a p p o i n t i n g f o u r t h , w i t h some work to do before the next regatta.

B a c k i n L o n d o n o n the same weekend, a n o t h e r C r e w of ladies were beaten by R e a d i n g U n i v e r s i t y at P u t n e y T o w n R e g a t t a while the M e n s S e n i o r C four reached the final at T h a m e s D i t t o n R e g a t t a o n l y to s u c c u m b to a c r e w from Barts.

A l l i n a l l a successful a n d enjoyable

weekend.

Boat Club Overruns Cambridge T h e Boat C l u b T e a m sent to C a m b r i d g e R e g a t t a went w i t h h i g h expectations a n d l i v e d u p to t h e m w i t h IC b e i n g the m o s t succesful c l u b at the regatta, w i n n i n g three events a n d a total o f nine r a c e s .

In E l i t e V I I I s a s m a l l but h i g h q u a l i t y entry saw I C r a c i n g Jesus college in the final. A close race was expected, but the winners of the head of the C a m just three weeks ago c o u l d not h o l d the I C boat who powered a w a y to w i n by over l o u r lengths.

T h e S e n i o r A I V h a d to race more often for their prizes w i t h o p p o s i t i o n in the first two races c o m i n g from Star C l u b a n d Bedford R C . B o t h races were w o n in a comfortable m a n n e r the crew p a d d l i n g over to w i n w i t h barely a h a i r out of place. T h e final was expected to be a different story, the o p p o s i t i o n from M a r l o w R C were known to be a fast c o m b i n a t i o n , a n d the I C four knew they had to snap out of their leisurely ways. T h e B i g R a c e Temperament was found a n d M a r l o w were left wondering w h i c h way I C went.

T h e S e n i o r C event saw yet a n o t h e r final lor this persistent, but as yet unsuccessful, crew.

After w i n n i n g by good margins in their first two rounds it looked good, but in the final B e r k h a m s l e a d S c h o o l p r o v e d just too strong for I C . T h e N o v i c e

events s i m i l a r l y p r o v e d to be outside o u r grasp w i t h b o t h m e n a n d w o m e n losing first r o u n d .

T h e most notable achievement of the day must be the W o m e n s Senior B crew. H a v i n g o n l y w o n their novices the week before, they found themselves drawn against a strong crew from London University. The race went to p l a n , however, a n d after c o n c e d i n g a little at the start o u r girls r o w e d t h r o u g h to w i n by 1 1/2 lengths. T h e next race was d u l y w o n a n d i n the final the opposition was G i r t o n College the fastest w o m e n s ' crew in Cambridge with all of its m e m be r s coming from the U n i v e r s i t y Boats. N o t intimidated by this o u r c r e w were never headed a n d w o n by a n easy verdict.

Things look very p r o m i s i n g for W o m e n s ' R o w i n g at IC.

Page 11

3CRICKET

GROSS

C O U N T R Y

_ 111 all out IC A Team 57 for 9 Kingston Poly.

Match drawn

On Wednesday 23rd May the Cross Country Club's stalwarts grouped together for their final race for the college. They were joined on this auspicious occasion by some 'past' members of the Club.

IC 2nds were s h o r t o f p l a y e r s f o r this f i x t u r e a n d f o u n d it n e c e s s a r y to c a l l o n 3 o r 4 4th t e a m p l a y e r s s u c h a s T o p l i s to make up their 8 m a n team.

The venue for the race was the National Westminster Bank Sports Ground at Norbury. The race, the National Westminster Bank Relays - a much smaller version of our own world-famous Hyde Park Road Relay.

P i t t ' s f i r s t m i s t a k e w a s to a s s u m e that e n o u g h c a r s w o u l d be a v a i l a b l e f o r t r a n s p o r t to H a r l i n g t o n . A s 3 p l a y e r s t h e n m a d e t h e i r w a y b y p u b l i c t r a n s p o r t , h i s next m i s t a k e w a s to i g n o r e advice a n d m i s s the c o r r e c t b u s stop.

O n e v e n t u a l a r r i v a l F u r n i s h elected to bat, h a v i n g w o n the toss, as it a p p e a r e d that the weather m a y a l l o w one i n n i n g s o n l y . A s always, later results showed this to be a n inspired decision despite the i m m e d i a t e o p i n i o n s o f the rest o f the team.

T h e I C b a t t i n g began b a d l y , t h o u g h opener D a v i s , w h o scored more in one shot t h a n Pitts has m a d e i n 3 innings, m a d e a brisk 30, but it was a 5th wicket stand o f vigorous mishits from T o p l i s a n d E l l a c o t t that eventually saw I C t h r o u g h to a respectable 111.

A t tea the c a p t a i n c y was passed to st and- in wicketkeeper a n d 5 t h X I c a p t a i n Pitts to give h i m the chance to do s o m e t h i n g p r o p e r l y .

T o p l i s a n d the ageing E l l a c o t t , w h o was n o w suffering w i t h his a r t h r i t i c h i p , lack of sawdust, a n d a d o u b l e g r o i n strain w h i c h o c c u r e d i m m e d i a t e l y after the passage across the field at the lady in b l a c k boots, were b r o u g h t back to m o p u p the rabbits w i t h the last 14 overs. T h i s they n a r r o w l y to achieve, Kingston failed finishing w i t h 57 for 9.

Toplis a n d Ellacott removed the first 5 wickets for 11 w i t h slowleg breaks, b u t the K i n g s t o n victims were u n a b l e to help their team mates b y t e l l i n g t h e m a n y t h i n g about the b o w l i n g , as they h a d failed to see it. T h i s p a r t i c u l a r l y applies to the 5 t h wicket w h o was caught at first slip T o p l i s r e t u r n e d the c r e d i t a b l e by the agile F u r n i s h , the b a l l figures of 5 for 14, b u t failed to having passed Pitts without b u y a j u g , a n d E l l a c o t t m a y take the 'keeper n o t i c i n g . i n the thought that comfort a l t h o u g h injuries m a y force h i m T h e advent o f C h a d b a n d into the attack saw Pitts stand u p to to retire from cricket next week, he c o u l d still m a k e a c o m e b a c k i n the stumps, b u t realising that his about 25 years for S o u t h nose was close to the batsman's Stanmore. feet he retired a g a i n .

Team: Pills,

Furnish,

Toplis, Ellacott, Davis, Maguire,

Clothier, Chadband.

Tennis

On Wednesday we played our first mixed doubles match, against Gardens L T C . This was due to be played at Harlington, but the courts were unfit for play, so we all jumped into Tony's car and trundled off in the general direction of Wimbledon. However, while we were touring round the suburban back streets (Barry was map reading), two weary tennis players were sitting in a traffic jam somewhere in the vicinity of the airport. Consequently, on arriving at G a r d e n s L T C we were confronted with vast opposition of two, their first couple.

Bravely, S a r a a n d T o n y took to the tennis court, a n d with hard hitting a n d s o m e g o o d shots, w h i c h s u r p r i s e d e v e r y o n e (both of us), beat t h e m c o n v i n c i n g l y 6-1, 6-1. T h e s e c o n d c o u p l e had not turned up, s o Barry a n d J u l i a went to play t h e first c o u p l e , they z o o m e d t o a 3-1 lead a n d then proceded t o lose 3-6, 1-6.

Meanwhile, the second couple arrived, a n d played T o n y a n d S a r a . H a v i n g been sitting a r o u n d

for a w h i l e w e h a d b e c o m e bo r e d of tennis, s o w e h a d a little c o m p e t i t i o n instead. W e d e c i d e d to s e e w h i c h of us c o u l d hit the ball furthest away from the tennis court. I can't s a y w h o w o n b e c a u s e it w a s pretty c l o s e , but w e lost the ten nis 5-7,2-6. W e then retired to t h e bar, s o m e w h a t annoyed, while Barry and Julia took o n t h e s e c o n d pair. T h e y then started their tennis m a t c h .

T h e y lost the first set 1-6, and d i d not finish t h e s e c o n d , as w e h a d lost overall.

B a r r y a n d J u l i a j o i n e d us in the bar, where, n o t content with l o s i n g a t e n n i s m a t c h . T o n y fed as m u c h m o n e y as he c o u l d to the fruit m a c h i n e . Barry s u g g e s t e d that w e s h o u l d play a friendly m a t c h against them s o m e t i m e , a l t h o u g h I t ho ug h t w e ' d been quite n i c e this time.

All Stars Make Final Appearence

T h e C o l l e g e team suffered slightly form lack of s p e e d d u e to a c l a s h with the U L g a m e s - that a n n u a l s p o r t i n g d i s o r g a n i s a t i o n perpetrated at M o s t p u r Park. However, Mark 'long d i s t a n c e ' P i c k a r d got his priorities right a n d after c o m p e t i n g in the walk at the g a m e s travelled to N o r b u r y for the main event of the day.

T h e race was w o n by a team from G E C , with the o r g a n i s e r s Nat West s e c o n d . T h i r d were B a r c l a y s and w e crept in 4th.

Individually the performances went s o m e t h i n g like this. T h e first team w a s l e d off at a blistering p a c e by S t u Littlewood w h o returned i n third place. B R y a n A c f o r d took over a n d was s o o n o v e r c o m e by the o c c a s i o n a n d people z i p p e d past h i m . M a r k ' P i c k a r d s l o w e d the rot a n d returned at the e n d of the third leg in 7 t h . Steve W e b b o n the final fourth l e g p u l l e d the team into fourth place, but s a w nothing of the first three runners w h o had finished s o m e minutes before.

S o m u c h for the first team. T h e s e c o n d team c o m p r i s e d a mixture of past a n d present a n d the third

team a l l o w e d t h e more fit their s e c o n d r u n of the evening. T h e s e c o n d team of ;lan Isherwood, M i c k y Fuller, S t u 'The O x ' G r a h a m and M a u r i c e W i l s o n , finished in 8th place. O n their w a y to this p o s i t i o n they s h o w e d remarkable c o n s i s t e n c y a n d even gave the first team a nasty m o m e n t w h e n at the e n d of the third leg they had e d g e d a h e a d of them. T h i s o n l y lasted for 440 y a r d s (400m for those w h o have g o n e metric).

T h e third team s a w the return to j o g g i n g of Ian A l v e y a n d M a r k S y k e s . Mark P i c k a r d a n d S t u L i t t l e w o o d finished the team off with their s e c o n d laps of the evening.

Well that's all folks, s a m e place next year!

Ian Alvey

64th London University Athletic Championships Last Wednesday eight magnificent specimens of IC manhood (Joined later by one Gary Longhurst and a certain Chris Rider more of whom later) rattled along to Motspur Park in a bid to emulate the win by IC last year in the UL Athletic Championships.

On arrival, Pete Barry began to allocate half-a-dozen or so extra events to each athlete to ensure that we gave the impression of having a full team (and to alleviate boredom).

This was achieved mostly on the toss of a coin! Then the team began their ellaborate psyching out routine, consisting of actually warming up before the events, and occasionally running, jumping and throwing large metal objects.

Eventually, after the mandatory hour's delay, the games began with IC immediately making their mark due to 2nd places from Ian Morton (2km steeple chase) and Longhurst (800m).

But this was only the first course, as Mike Weiner demolished the rest of the hammer field with a 40m throw, 17m further than Ian Roberts (also IC) who was 2nd.

With Barry, Dave Rosen and Dave Jones giving everything (with little reward) in numerous events, but still accumulating valuable points, IC were not disgraced on the track, but it was in the field events where the ppints were really mounting up. Chris Rider won a fine discus competition, with A Kruszewski 3rd, Roberts was runner-up in the pole vault and 3rd in the javelin, and Hewkin was 3rd in the shot putt; this gave IC a good lead in the men's competition.

The championship was put beyond doubt when Longhurst won a marvellous 400m hurdles and Morton came second in the 1500m, and IC duly proceded to the officials enclosure only to be told that there was no cup.

The Team: Barry Witts and Julia Towns, and Tony Tsoukkas and Sara McGuinness

- It had disappeared some years earlier! Oh, well you win some

Sara McGuinness

The Shot Putter

Signed,

NEWS IN BRIEF WORDS NOT

ACTION

A b o u t 30 students l o b b i e d I C ' s Governors last F r i d a v to ask College to charge overseas students the same t u i t i o n fees as home students a n d for a h a r d s h i p fund to help students w h o cannot meet increased fee levels next session.

B u t the G o v e r n o r s decided that College c o u l d not afford to abolish the fee differential a n d were u n w i l l i n g to change their p o l i c y o n the h a r d s h i p fund.

Students s h o u l d expect 'cost of l i v i n g ' increases in fees each year a n d a h a r d s h i p fund c o u l d not cover this, they said. . T h e R e c t o r said however that he w o u l d m a k e a statement s a y i n g that he d i d not like differential fee levels for overseas students.

A n d students c u r r e n t l y on parttime courses w h o w i l l be hit by fee increases of up to 200 per cent next O c t o b e r w i l l be eligible for assistance from the h a r d s h i p fund.

UNION G R A N T

CUT

have its The U n i o n will anticipated e x p e n d i t u r e cut by almost £8,5000 next year as the C o l l e g e has not met their c l a i m of £134,000.

T h e s u m of £123,525 granted represents a 9 per cent increase on this year on a per c a p i t a basis. A n a d d i t i o n a l £5,000 is p r o v i d e d to support the employment of t e m p o r a r y U n i o n stalT. T h e o r i g i n a l s u m requested was a r r i v e d at by t o t a l l i n g the grant claims of every c l u b , subcommittee a n d other Union bodies.

Union President Mary A t t e n b o r o u g h said that there w o u l d have to be cuts in services.

11 would need serious consideration.

F I R E RISK A student was severely r e p r i m a n d e d last week for flame t h r o w i n g in the U n i o n b u i l d i n g .

D e p u t y President M a l c o l m B r a i n said that this act i vi ty c o n t r a v e n e d fire regulations.

ULU

OFFICERS ELECTED

Elections for the three Sabatical Officers of the U n i v e r s i t y of L o n d o n U n i o n took place at the A s s e m b l y of C o u n c i l s on 2 3 r d M a y . T h e results are; President - D i a n a H a m i l t o n Fairlcy (Middlesex Hospital M e d i c a l School), V i c e - P r e s i d e n t (Finance and Administration) Ian H e a p ( Q u e e n M a r y College) a n d V i c e - P r e s i d e n t (Services) Deborah Perkin (Bedford).

D e b o r a h was elected unopposed for the new s a b b a t i c a l post of V P w h i c h w i l l be reviewed next year to see i f it w a r r a n t s a s a b b a t i c a l .

Ian H e a p defeated a D o g L o v e r s ' candidate.

SRC

RESULTS

T h e Officers of the U n i v e r s i t y of London Union Students' Representative Council have been elected for the session 1979/80. T h e C h a i r p e r s o n a n d Secretary are J o s e p h B a i l ey (Bedford) a n d W i l l R i c h a r d s o n (LSE) respectively.

The two executive officers are Ruth Fitzjohn and Deborah P e r k i n who are both from Bedford College. S i x Senators, w h o have to be from the F a c u l t y for w h i c h they stood, were also elected, as well as four Senators w i t h o u t portfolio including John Passmore from I C .

ALCOHOLIC RESIGNATION M a l c o l m B r a i n resigned last week from the posts of D e p u t y President a n d U n i o n M e e t i n g C h a i r m a n for the r e m a i n d e r of this session. H e was said to have been u n d e r the influence of a large q u a n t i t y of a l c o h o l .

B u t President M a r y A t t e n b o r o u g h refused to accept his resignation s a y i n g that she w o u l d not be able to find a n y o n e else stupid e n o u g h to take on the job this t e r m .

ALL P O S T S FILLED J o h n W h i t e h o u s e was the o n l y c a n d i d a t e s t a n d i n g for the post of External Affairs Committee P u b l i c i t y Officer w h e n the papers carrie d o w n on T h u r s d a y 24th. H e has yet to be ratified by a U G M .

T h i s completes the elections for U n i o n posts for next session, b a r r i n g posts on M a j o r S u b Committees.

LORD ANNAN SPEAKS ULU

AT

L o r d A n n a n , Vice Chancellor of the U n i v e r s i t y of L o n d o n , spoke to a meeting of officers from constituent college student unions last T u e s d a y at U L U . H e h a d been i n v i t e d by the students to e x p l a i n his attitude towards the i m p l e m e n t a t i o n of quotas on overseas student numbers f o l l o w i n g his letter w h i c h was circulated to schools of the University.

T h e students present felt that L o r d A n n a n s h o u l d have m a d e a stand on quotas rather t h a n g i v i n g in i m m e d i a t e l y .

WPGULUSRC MEETING Last Tuesday night the W o m e n s ' P o l i c y G r o u p of the U n i v e r s i t y of L o n d o n U n i o n Students Representative C o u n c i l held a m e e t i n g to discuss the recent attacks on women students. T h e y drafted a letter to Lord A n n a n asking him to support and encourage constituent c o l l e g e s of the university in t i g h t e n i n g security.

The group advocated such measures as patrols, better l i g h t i n g a n d alarms.

The childrens' party in Hyde Park taxi Wednesday P A R T Y IN H Y D E P A R K 80.000 ecstatic children enjoyed the first day of the greatest c h i l d r e n ' s party ever.

H y d e P a r k was s w a r m i n g w i t h c h i l d r e n . M a n y thousands h a d n ' t a ticket a n d frustratedly w a t c h e d the others h a v i n g fun.

A huge 60-foot inflated m o d e l of K e r m i t the frog was one of the b i g attractions. Lost c h i l d r e n were told over the tannoy to find their parents by the frog. O n e c h i l d said that he'd like to take K e r m i t home but he thought his M u m m y w o u l d n ' t like it.

The Queen and Prince Philip a r r i v e d in a State Carriage escorted by six members of the household caval ry.

BLOOD DONING Life Sciences have w o n the free b a r r e l of beer offered as a n incentive to b l o o d donors. T o c l a i m their b a r r e l , a representative should contact the organiser, J o h n W h i t e h o u s e , v i a the U n i o n Office.

VISIT F I N L A N D Students w h o w o u l d like to spend six to twelve months w i t h a Finnish family should applyq u i c k l y to the C e n t r a l B u r e a u for Educational Visits and Exchanges.

In r e t u r n for free b o a r d a n d l o d g i n g a n d pocket money the student would mainly teach E n g l i s h a n d also help w i t h household chores.

F u r t h e r details are a v a i l a b l e from M a r y A t t e n b o r o u g h in I C U n i o n Office.

C O L L E G E HELPS STUDENTS T h e College's h a r d s h i p fund helped 205 students pay their fees this vear a n d spent a total of £43,504.78.

M o s t of the payments consisted of s m a l l sums c o v e r i n g o n l y the increase in fee levels over last year.

JULY PARKING A p p l i c a t i o n forms for J u l y p a r k i n g permits w i l l be a v a i l a b l e office on from the Union Tuesday.

Under the new arrangements any student w a n t i n g to park a c a r i n C o l l e g e i n J u l y w i l l have to have a p a r k i n g permit. T h e U n i o n is r e a l l o c a t i n g permits b e l o n g i n g to students w h o are l e a v i n g C o l l e g e before July-

HARSH SENTENCE FOR JEWISH S T U D E N T Boris K a l e n d a r e v , the Soviet J e w i s h student ' a d o p t e d ' by I C Union last year, has been sentenced to two years i n a l a b o u r c a m p for e v a d i n g c o n s c r i p t i o n .

21 year o l d Boris has been t r y i n g to emigrate since 1973, three years before he was eligible for m i l i t a r y service. H e was expelled from his C o l l e g e in 1977 and since then the Soviet authorities have been t r y i n g to force h i m into the a r m y .

Union President Mary A t t e n b o r o u g h has w r i t t e n to the Soviet P r o c u r a t o r G e n e r a l a s k i n g h i m to reconsider a n d a l l o w M r K a l e n d a r e v to leave the c o u n t r y .

She also asked for a reply to her previous letter and an e x p l a n a t i o n of his i m p r i s o n m e n t .

Malcolm wishes to thank everybody who helped him to have a great 21st celebration. He also wishes to apologies to anyone who suffered as a result.