Founded in 1949
The Newspaper of Imperial College Union
GAME OVER FOR PINBALL WIZARD. Mr Barney McCabe has resigned from his position as ICU Deputy President following a motion of no confidence at last Monday's ICU Council meeting. T h e start of the m e e t i n g was delayed by over twenty minutes as there were not enough C o u n c i l members present to form a q u o r u m . U n d e r t h e D e p u t y P r e s i d e n t ' s b u s i n e s s t h e r e was a n e x t e n s i v e discussion about the p i n b a l l a n d video machines in the U n i o n L o w e r L o u n g e . Last year the U n i o n earned considerable revenue from these machines but so far this session they have lost ,£2,000. T h e D P was criticised for his h a n d l i n g of the s i t u a t i o n ; i n p a r t i c u l a r , that he d i d not realise the seriousness of the p r o b l e m a n d take a c t i o n earlier. M r P h i l i p N a t h a n , L i f e Sciences D e p R e p , then proposed a m o t i o n of no confidence in the D P . I n his proposal speech he o u t l i n e d how he considered that B a r n e y h a d not done his job i n a satisfactory m a n n e r . An a m e n d m e n t to the m o t i o n (proposed by C h r i s W e b b ) to further instruct the C h a i r m a n of C o u n c i l ( N i c k M o r t o n ) to take the m o t i o n of no confidence to the next U G M was accepted. P h i l Greenstreet (DP-elect) then spoke against the m o t i o n . H e p o i n t e d out areas where he thought the D P h a d a c h i e v e d something, but on a secret vote the m o t i o n of no confidence was c a r r i e d . T h e v o t i n g was 14 for; 7 against; a n d . 2 abstentions. A f t e r the result h a d been a n n o u n c e d , M r M c C a b e c o n c l u d e d his report bv t e n d e r i n g his resignation a n d l e a v i n g the meeting. H e also h a n d e d M a r c o L e d w o l d a letter c o n f i r m i n g that his resignation w o u l d take effect from F r i d a y . A p r i l 2. At this point C o u n c i l became i n q u o r a t e a n d the m e e t i n g was closed. T h e r e was, however, some discussion over w h e t h e r the m o t i o n of no confidence s h o u l d be taken to the U G M . E v e n t u a l l y C h r i s W e b b agreed to speak to such a m o t i o n instead of N i c k M o r t o n . A f t e r the m e e t i n g B a r n e y stated that he h a d not resigned from his post as E d i t o r of The Phoenix a n d i n t e n d e d to c o n t i n ue p r o d u c t i o n of the m a g a z i n e . Rock on Tommy It was not u n t i l early last week that the loss of m o n e y from the games m a c h i n e was n o t i c e d . A f t e r M r N i c k M o r t o n , I C U P r e s i d e n t , requested a n estimate for next year's income from games machines it was discovered that e x p e n d i t u r e on r e n t a l exceeded i n c o m e by a p p r o x ^2,000. T h e reasons for the s i t u a t i o n are not clear; a series of thefts over the s u m m e r a n d a fall-off in useage m a y account for some loss, but it was estimated that over ,£2,000 profit should have been m a d e by the end of this year. It was suggested at I C U C o u n c i l that the D e p u t y P r e s ident s h o u l d have noticed the loss earlier a n d taken a p p r o p r i a t e action.
"No 611
Mascots Returned A c r o w d of o v e r f i f t y p e o p l e g a t h e r e d i n B e i t Q u a d r a n g l e o n W e d n e s d a y l u n c h t i m e to witness the r e t u r n of S p a n n e r a n d Bolt. T h e v i o l a t e d mascot of C i t y a n d G u i l d s U n i o n h a d been i n the possession of the R o y a l C o l l e g e of Science U n i o n since F e b r u a r y 4 and were o r i g i n a l l y to be r e t u r n e d last T h u r s d a y . C i t y a n d G u i l d s U n i o n h a d p e r f o r m e d a series of tasks in order to secure the r e t u r n of the mascots. These i n c l u d e d sending V a l e n t i n e ' s to the R C S U E x e c u t i v e , c l e a n i n g shoes, selling pancakes a n d even a c c o m p a n y i n g R C S U mascotry o n a r a i d to K i n g s C o l l e g e . Besides this, C & G U President A n d y R u s h t o n raised money by a sponsored alcohol-free p e r i o d a n d other m e m b e r s of G u i l d s k n i t t e d a scarf. T h e total raised for R C S U R a g is believed to be in excess ol £330.
Friday, March26,1982
Free!
f a i r e " has already been stated in a letter written to you by M r D . Ashforth, a letter that left M r E . M . U n g o a l a (a physics P C ) i n a state of shuddering, mind-boggling, utter confusion! R e a l l y , one w o u l d expect a little more practical c o m m o n sense from students of science at I m p e r i a l College. T . Schofield R o y a l School of M i n e s Dear
Dear
Mr
Smith
W e think o u r new president w o u l d g r e a t l y i m p r o v e his image i f he h a d a shave. C a n we really have a leader w i t h a beard. Tours sincerely
A. Black, N . Miller, A . H u n t e r , D . Poley, P . L i n d e tend, a l l of M E 3 .
Mark
Can somebody from College Block please tell me a n d a l l other F E L I X readers w h y some staircases i n S o u t h side are to be redecorated over Easter. I ' m not talking about the radiators. M y room has a new radiator, a n d is to be repainted, but must be in better c o n di t i o n than any other College a c c o m m o d a tion. I also ask o u r sabbaticals to investigate o n o u r behalf a n d also take strong action if necessary. Tours
Brian Shindler
Sir
I a m w r i t i n g to y o u today i n d i s a p p r o v a l o f the criticism m y College is receiving from the a n t i - a p a r t h e i d movement for a l l o w i n g S o u t h A f r i c a n m i n i n g companies access to B r i t i s h students for recruitm e n t o v e r s e a s . I t is w e l l k n o w n that G r e a t B r i t a i n relies h e a v i l y u p o n S o u t h Africa'for important raw materials. T h e British m i n i n g i n d u s t r y ( n o t a b l y at the R o y a l S c h o o l of M i n e s ) also relies upon the S o u t h Africans for their wealth of technical expertise. I n the m i n i n g of minerals, a reason that sends m a n y o f o u r students a b r o a d every s u m m e r for vacation t r a i n i n g . W h i l s t one accepts that the subjugation of a people based u p o n colour, is both c r u e l a n d h u m i l i a t i n g , one must realise that this is a p r o b l e m b o r n of m a n y years, a n d not one h a v i n g a fast a n d stable political solution. F a c e d w i t h the possible erosion o f o u r o w n infrastructure, I feel that B r i t a i n , as a n a t i o n , is i n no position to t u r n her back o n S o u t h A f r i c a a n d that members o f a n t i apartheid should consider more carefully the possible' i m p l i c a t i o n s o f their actions. T h e p o s i t i o n for " l a i s s e z Page 2
Dear
Sir
I n a l e c t u r e I w e n t to recently I discovered that i n C h i n a there are some 15,000,000 people involved i n monitoring and controling the m a j o r a g r i c u l t u r a l pests. U s i n g rapid communication a l o n g a n efficient c o m m a n d network these pests have been significantly reduced in numbers. I n the U K agriculture is more intensive, i f however, a n a d d i t i o n a l l 3,000,000 people were e m p l o y e d i n pest control it should be possible to treat each plant by hand, squashing i n s e c t pests a n d u p r o o t i n g c o m p e t i n g weeds, without the use of potentially dangerous pesticides fexcept perhaps for fungi a n d m i c r o b i a l pathogens; a n d with positive selection lor rare or beneficial species. Such a system w o u ld clearly be effective lor hothouse or market garden crops, but its application to cereals m a y be more difficult, because of the w a y these arc planted. I n the current economic: climate there is likely to be suitable numbers of workers available, already being paid by the G o v e r n m e n t . T h e use o f t h i s , as y e t , u n t a p p e d workforce w o u l d therefore kill
two birds (unemployment and p o l l u t i o n from pesticides) w i t h one stone. T h e profits c o m i n g from increased c r o p protection (and irrigation...if this is needed), a n d the money saved o n pesticides c o u l d be used to increase the standard of l i v i n g of the workforce. T h e quality of life w o u l d also be increased by c o n s i d e r a b l e decentralisation of the p o p u lation (reducing pressure o n d e c a y i n g i n n e r - c i t y areas) a n d increasing the health of the p o p u l a t i o n as a result of exercise a n d more n a t u r a l food i n the diet. W e are starting a pilot scheme o n o u r w i n d o w s i l l , a n d I suggest that this is a line of logistic research w h i c h the government w o u l d do well to follow u p . lours
sincerely
John Hollier Zoo 3 Dear
Sir
W e were very disappointed by the i l l u s t r a t i o n i n the b o t t o m corner o f the spring term F E L I X calendar—why wasn't it male!!! Please remed y this next term. Tours expectantly or hopefully or both,
2 sexless singles o f S o u t h K e n
Small Ads • F r e e holiday for volunteer driver C a m d e n A s s o c i a t i o n for Mental Health is looking for a volunteer driver to drive their minibus from June 12-19 whilst they are on holiday in South W a l e s . In r e t u r n f o r d r i v i n g the minibus to and from London (and whilst t o u r i n g ) the v o l u n t e e r will receive free accommodation, food and a d m i s s i o n to a n y b e a u t y - s p o t s , attractions, etc. The volunteer must be over 25 and the p o s s e s s o r of a c l e a n d r i v i n g licence, preferably with experience of driving a minibus or similar vehicle. A p p l i c a t i o n s and further details from John Callaghan, 485-0229 or call at 5-6 Anglers Lane, Kentish Town, NW5 (during office hours). • L o s t in J C R a golden circle earing. If f o u n d p l e a s e r e t u r n to D o r i s R e t s i n a , C h e m E n g 2. O f g r e a t sentimental value. Thank-you. •It's a donkey's cockbone! Jokes are requested for this year's Rag Mag. Please address all entries to Andrew Redondo Crawford c/o the FELIX Office. • H a n d b o o k articles: All c h a i r m e n , etc., to their Union Office pigeonhole Deadline Friday, April 30. •Congratulations Angle. We knew you had it in youl • H o w many ads will there be saying • • D i s c o yetl for h i r e - p l e a s e state c o lour. Ring 373-8307. •Steve—Who's wearino vnnr ^r-^,-,
FELIX, March 26, 1982
• 1 2 " b/w p o r t a b l e T V , £ 6 0 o n o . Contact Ian Grainger-Allen, Physics 3. • A R 1 8 s loudspeakers, perfect condition, 4mths old, £70ono. Contact Mark Johnson, Civ Eng letter-racks or 53 Evelyn Gdns. Tel 373-5367. •Babysitter/dogsbody available most evenings. Linda, int 4487. •Bassist requires strap (also lead and plectrum). See Mike, Physics 2. • G i r l needed to share a double room for next term in 81 Lexham Gdns. Please contact F. Judson, Zoo 3. • A p r i l 291 Next term! "On yer bike Norm", Norman Tebbit MP on the Employment Bill, 1:00pm, Mech Eng 220. • G e t off your assholes and see Supa "4% Norm" Titbit talk on the bike industry, Phy LT1, 29 April, 1:00pm. •Volunteer Work: Postgrads needed to help out in a home for disabled near the College over the vacation. Contact Mike See, Chem Eng P G . • J e l l y a n d Ice C r e a m Party a n d cabaret at Willis Jackson House, 65 Evelyn Gdns. Everyone welcome. • S o c i a l Democrats why are you all boring old P G stick-in-the-mud farts. Love and kisses from Woy. • T h e final match of term: "unlucky" Physics Wanderers 1, Selkirk 4. The lads are still sick as parrots. We will return. PW rule FA. •Seaweed Journalists! Come out of the guppy tank and say "Hi!". • R u requires a net set of fingernails (in 7 „ with alternating lines). Contact the Rathole 233 F.K. all. • D o e s anyone want to play Mummies and Daddies with me? Because I do, and I've got a Wendy Housel Love Fatson Judd(son). •Football latest: Civ Eng 1 2 M e c h / Chem Eng 3 4. Civ Eng 1 tread PW. Any more suckers next term please. • K a r e n of Falmouth: You do look sexy in the m o r n i n g w e a r i n g c u r l e r s . Signed 007. • T o all those who are Jealous of the NHS. Piss off. • 5 T A - G l r i Thank you for making this term beatifull. F E . •Having trouble with your English? Elocution lessons now available from Karl, Chem 2. •Sarah's home cooking—Like your mother makes—cakes, biscuits, ell y o u r favourite recipes for s p e c i a l occasions. Contact M. Smith, BF.2. • A n g l e , Linstead, can I b e next? •Angie: where was I in the rankings then? Signed Heartbroken. •Sorry guys. Dr Who always wins in the end. (No doubt you needed the scarf to keep you countless friends warm, ha ha). • A n g i e : I thought I was the first! Shocked. •Dearest Angle: You no good twotiming • A n g l e : You told me I was the first! • A n g i e of Linstead: Me next? Bonzo. • A n g i e : How about a booking for the IC Second Xls next Thursday? • D o you want a fuck? Are you sure? Oh...well you'd better ring for the guy with the big donk; say hi to Jez on 5847466. •I thought I was on Pole Position Angie. • A n g i e : But I thought I was going to be first! • K i n d a lingers Angie. • C o k e or Tap? •Is work catching up on you? Send any surplus to me—reports a speciality—estimates given for any other creeping required (especially history of tech and bio essays)— The Prof (Dep Rep) BE2, wimp of the week, Elec 1. •Wanted: Heavy duty straightjacket and 2 male nurses to restrain o u r l u n a t i c d r u m m e r Big A l between tracks. Also monkey costume for that bit extra in 'stairway' and for impressing girls at p a r t i e s . C o n t a c t the Molehole, 214 Falmouth. • F o r sale: Maps detailing the main government fall-out shelter and access points for use by top civil servants in the event of nuclear war. S e n d £ 2 to Anon, Box 11, FELIX Office.
Election Results
Cock and Bull T w e n t y - f i v e members of R C S w a l k e d a total distance of 150 miles i n the U n i o n L o w e r L o u n g e last weekend as pa r t of a 1,000,001-Down darts race. A t 6:00pm on F r i d a y , I a n T h o m a s a n d J e z M o s s , the respective captains of C h e m 1 a n d C h e m 2 teams threw the first darts i n this m a r a t h o n R a g stunt. T w o days a n d three nights later the C h e m 1 t e a m reached zero w i t h a d o u b l e seven, follow ed closely by the C h e m 2 t e a m w h o took 89 shots to finish from d o u b l e three. E a c h t e a m threw between seventy a n d eighty t h o u s a n d darts (the exact figures to be revealed soon) w e i g h i n g a total of a r o u n d two tons, at a n average of r o u g h l y t h i r t e e n points per d a r t . T h e players were h i n d e r e d by armies of cockroaches w h i c h i n v a d e d the L o w e r L o u n g e at three o'clock each m o r n i n g a n d by the cleaners who, w i t h o n l y a few t h o u s a n d points to go, a t t e m p t e d to eject everyone on M o n d a y . It is expected that a three figure s u m has been raised for R C S R a g .
Waldegrave at IC
T h e R o y a l S c h o o l of M i n e s U n i o n ratified its executive for next year at their U G M last T u e s d a y . T h e c a n d i d a t e for H o n o r a r y Secretary was the o n l y one u n o p p o s e d . T h e officers are: P r e s i d e n t N i g e l W a l l s : V i c e President J o h n E a g l e s o n ; H o n Sec M a r k D a n i e l . T h e elections for d e p a r t m e n t a l representatives were also held this week. N i n e n e w representatives were elected to be ratified at today's U G M . T h e r e were no candidates for the post i n C i v E n g a n d the C h e m E n g election w i l l have to be r e - r u n because there was no-one to m a n the b a l l o t - b o x i n the afternoon. T h o s e elected are: C h e m i s t r y G . O ' S h e a ; C o m p u t i n g P . D o n o v a n ; E l e c E n g G . Bowser (re-elected): G e o l o g y M . Jones; L i f e S c i P . B u r t ; M a t h s F . W h i t e l a w ; M e c h E n g R . T a n g ; M e t & M a t S c i C . S o u t h a l l ; Physics D . P a r r y . T h e elections in A e r o E n g a n d M i n e r a l Resources E n g have still to be h e l d .
Sextet Stun Southside
ments. These consisted of foam pies a n d succeeded i n c l e a r i n g most of the audience back into the a d j o i n i n g bar.
L a s t S a t u r d a y was m a r k e d by the first a p p e a r a n c e of a L i f e Sciences R e v i e w i n the S o u th s i de R e a l A l e Bar. T h e review, organised by M r P h i l i p N a t h a n (the D i v i s i o n a l R e p r e s e n t a t i v e ) , consisted of a series of songs a n d sketches as w e l l as a w a r d s f o r v a r i o u s achievements w i t h i n the d e p a r t -
T h e h i g h l i g h t of the e v e n i n g w a s u n d o u b t e d l y the p e r f o r m a n c e of a sextet of dancers lead by M i s s C h r i s t i n e S t a r c h of L i f e S c i 2. T h e y p e r f o r m e d a r e markably intimate arrangement w h i c h went d o w n very w e l l w i t h the audience. T h e E d i t o r of F E L I X c o m m e n t e d t h a t he w o u l d investigate this story i n greater d e p t h at a later date.
Another cock-up
T h e conservative M P W i l l i a m W a l d e g r a v e spoke at C o l l e g e last T u e s d a y o n the i n v i t a t i o n of the C o n s e r v a t i v e Society. M r W a l d e r g r a v e is u n d e r s e c r e t a r y of state for h i g e r e d u c a t i o n a n d t o l d the s m a l l c r o w d h o w universities h a d been receiving larger and larger
a m o u n t s of their m o n e y f r o m the University Grants Committee. In the past they h a d received the m a j o r i t y of t h e i r i n c o m e from other sources, b u t n o w 95% of t h e i r m o n e y comes f r o m the U G C . M r W a l d e r g r a v e said the g o v e r n m e n t w o u l d like to see this figure r e d u c e d to about 85%.
Cult Corner A t Nightline we occasionally receive calls from people w h o have friends or relatives involved with cult groups. Sometimes the callers only want a few details about the cult while other times they are trying to find s o m e o n e a n d release t h e m from the cult. Organisations w h i c h sometimes c r o p up in calls include the Unification C h u r c h (Moonies), K r i s h n a C o n s c i o u s n e s s , Scientology and recently Exegesis a n d the B h a g w a n Shree Rajneesh cult. T h e last two have recently been receiving some attention in the national press. People are well informed about the M o o n i e s a n d further c o m m e n t is n o t n e c e s s a r y . E x e g e s i s is n o t a r e l i g i o u s c u l t b u t m o r e of a psychotherapy group. T h e techniques used are long aggressive encounter sessions w h i c h c a n be quite damaging to peoples personalities and even affect mental stability. T h e wallet is also damaged—a t a r o u n d £150 for a training c o u r s e ! T h e B h a g w a n Shree Rajneesh cult is growing rapidly. It bears the name of the founder, who saw the light in 1953. H e spent the next thirteen years teaching and developing his faith in India. In 1969 he started a therapy centre in B o m b a y a n d the first non-Indians were admitted a year later. D u r i n g the seventies the cult s p r e a d to the W e s t a n d now has sixteen centres a n d 2,000 disciples in the U K alone.
T h e inefficiencies of the Bookings Office were h i g h l i g h t e d a g a i n this week w h e n W e l l s o c tried to hold their Annual General M e e t i n g i n the M i n e s B u i l d i n g last T u e s d a y . W e l l s o c h a d c o n f i r m e d their b o o k i n g of the S u t t o n L e c t u r e T h e a t r e twice b u t o n the night the security g u a r d c l a i m e d that he h a d n ' t been i n f o r m e d of the b o o k i n g . It was o n l y after M r R . D i c k e n s , the S e c u r i t y S u p e r i n t e n d e n t , was contacted that the m e e t i n g was a l l o w e d to go a h e a d , but o n l y
after a c r o w d of people h a d been kept w a i t i n g . C h a i r m a n of W e l l s o c M r P a l l a b G h o s h later said " I t isn't the first time this has h a p p e n e d , this sort of c o c k - u p happens on a r e g u l a r basis. It h a p p e n e d to us before this t e r m w h e n w e ' d booked M e c h E n g 220 a n d h a d to t u r n seventy m e m b e r s a w a y . " A secretary from the Bookings Office said the a p p r o p r i a t e paper w o r k was sent to security every week a n d if security d i d n ' t read it, it wasn't the B o o k i n g Office's fault. M r N i c k M o r t o n is c u r r e n t l y t a k i n g the m a t t e r up w i t h C a p t a i n L i n d l e y , the C o l l e g e D o m e s t i c Secretary.
Disciples are given a new name when they join. T h e y have to wear orange a n d red clothes (fully or partially), a picture of their master and 108 sandalwood beads. T h e cult also moves it disciples between centres and countries. People who attend the n e w c o m e r s evenings at the C h a l k F a r m C e n t r e (cost 50p) are rarely aware of the power in the meditation t e c h n i q u e s . M o r e a d v a n c e d m e m b e r s indulge in i n d u c e d h y s t e r i a s e s s i o n s as w e l l as r e l a x a t i o n , d a n c i n g a n d c o n t r o l l e d b r e a t h i n g exercises. Free sexual expression is also important in the therapy. L i k e the M o o n i e s , people do get lost in this organisation. T h e therapy, especially if insulated from outside influences, can lead to 'brainwashing' (perhaps a function of personaly strength?). T h e dangers are two-fold. First is the upheaval caused to family and friends when a disciple rejects them or disappears. Secondly is the psychological damaged suffered by the disciple when the group rejects them. T h e disciple will be totally dependent on the group for emotional and physical support. Rejection c o u p l e d with d u m p i n g in a strange city (or country) with no money or possessions is a g o o d ticket to a psychiatric hospital. F o r the last decade the Indian government has been reluctant to grant visas to W e s t e r n e r s visiting the cult's headquarters. Recently the cult have spent £3m o n a lOOsq mile r a n c h in O r e g o n U S A a n d are building a n entire t o w n as a cult centre. T h e y have also set up a c o m m u n e in Suffolk complete with a school for disciples' children. O f c o u r s e , not all fringe religious cult groups are so bad. H o w e v e r , the next time y o u d r o p lOp in a M o o n i e (etc.) collecting tin it might be w o r t h considering exactly what y o u are financing.
FELIX, March 26, 1982
Page 3
Preamble At the time of writing I have received fifty-four correct solutions to last week's puzzle, but just in case there's anyone left in College who hasn't been able to do it, take your crumpled piece of paper and follow these instructions: Fold the right half of the paper onto the left half, so that 4 lies on top of 1. Fold the bottom half up, so that 8 goes on 4. Tuck 8 and 4 (together) between 6 and 7. Fold 1 and 5 onto 6. Yes, it was quite easy; I intended it to be easy since so many puzzles have been difficult lately. But since it is the end of term, my priority was to set something which would be fun to solve; judging from your comments I succeeded here too. Moral: if you come across any 'fun' puzzles like this, especially if they're not well-known, send them to me and I'll be happy to publish them. The deadline for last week's puzzle hadn't been reached at the time of going to press, so the winner will have to wait till next term. The Easter puzzle page, as usual, has a mixture of sworded puzzles which carry a prize of £5 each, and unmarked puzzles which are just for fun. Mend-a-Bike of Park Walk, Chelsea, have generously donated the prize money as usual, but to anyone not lucky enough to win, they are still offering discounts to FELIX readers. G o o d luck, happy Easter, don't work too hard
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Dead Patriotic f " H c r e is an o d d item, Professor," I said, •looking up from my newspaper. "It says here (that three of the first five presidents of United States died on the Fourth of July. I wonder what the odds are against a coincidence like that."
D
"I'm not sure," replied the professor, "but I'm willing to give ten-to-one odds 1 can name one of the three who died on that date." Assuming that the professor had no prior knowledge of the dates on which any of the presidents died, was he justified in offering such odds?
G
^ o ° V ^ V °
o^
I'm sure you all remember trie prob/ems caused by the seven pr/soners In General f?e/sencne/'n's /'a/mouse last term. Well, it n a p p e n e d a g a / n - f n e p r / s o n e r s were allowed out for exercise and when they returned fne /'a/Ver discovered fnaf S and F had sw/rcned ce//s. Wow a/fnougn it's perm/ss/to/e fo leave a p r / s o n e r unattended in the c e n t r a / courtyard, no one is a//owed fnrougn fne main gate, and no two prisoners must be a/towed fo see eacn ofner. Wnaf la the smallest number of moves it will take to sw/fen 6 and F bac/r fo their proper cells? Of course, af the end of the opera/Von fne otner five pr/soners musf be bac/( in their own ce//s.
Page 4
FELIX, March 26, 1982
CLUBS AND SOCIETIES PLEASE if any group in the College is inviting any author to talk, tell us so we c a n arrange a display of their b o o k s .
Bookshop News A s y o u may have already noticed, we have had to increase the deposit o n all items o r d e r e d through the B o o k s h o p to £5.00 per item. T h e reason for this increase is that people have been ordering b o o k s and then not collecting, even after numerous cards and phone calls; and often we are left with them as they are not returnable. S o , please only order b o o k s y o u want. T h e deposit is deducted from the overall price anyway. L a b o r a t o r y notebooks. W e n o w have the official n o t e b o o k s , both soft a n d hardback. It has t a k e n E S A ten months to produce them and that was an urgent order! International W r i t e r s D a y , w h i c h is organised by the English C e n t r e of International P . E . N . , was held at the Purcell R o o m , Q u e e n Elizabeth Hall o n S a t u r da y , M a r c h 13. O n c e again, I C B o o k s h o p ran a very successful b o o k sale. T h e principal speakers were M a r g a r e t D r a b b l e , M a r i o S o l d a t i , F r a n c i s K i n g , N o r m a n Collins. T h e Silver P e n A w a r d went to D . M . T h o m a s for his novel The White Hotel (Penguin £2.25). T h e J . R . A c k e r l e y P r i z e for 1981 to E d w a r d Blishen for his autobiography Shaky Relations (Hamish H a m i l t o n £8.95). M a r c h 31 is to be a very special This is Your Life o n I T V . T h e autobiography of the subject is o n sale in the B o o k s h o p . (Signed by author and subject.) A n n a C o o t e will be c o m i n g to College to talk about her latest b o o k this F r i d a y a n d copies of Sweet Freedom will be o n sale in the B o o k s h o p .
A s everyone knows if y o u rest a piece of paper on a b o o k a n d write. T h e imprint goes through to the b o o k w h i c h defaces the b o o k jacket. I have noticed the last few weeks, quite a large number of people have acquired this habit. S o m e students, but the majority seems to be tutor/lecturers, so I would be most grateful if all the guilty parties would stop doing this.
New Titles The White Hotel — D . M . T h o m a s , Penguin £2.25 M y Sister and Myself — ed F r a n c i s K i n g , H u t c h i n s o n £8.95 Shaky Relations — E d w a r d P l i s h e n , H a m i s h H a m i l t o n £8.95 The Octopus and the Pirates — M a r i o S o l d a t i , D e u t s c h £2.95 The Forgotten Colony — A . G r a h a m - Y o o l l , H u t c h i n s o n £12.95 New Stories 3 — H a r w o o d & K i n g , H u t c h i n s o n £3.25 Little Nelson — N o r m a n C o l l i n s , C o l l i n s £5.95 Middle Ground—Margaret D r a b b l e , P e n g u i n £1.50 Summer Bird Cage — Margaret D r a b b l e , Penguin £1.50 The Ice Age — Margaret D r a b b l e , Penguin £1.75 The Millstone—Margaret D r a b b l e , Penguin £1.25 Realms of Gold—Margaret D r a b b l e , Penguin £1.95 The Needles Eye — Margaret D r a b b l e , Penguin £1.75 The Novel Today — M a l c o l m B r a d b u r y , F o n t a n a £2.50 The Craft of Novel Writing — D i a n n e Doubtfire. Allison & B u s b y £2.50 The Successful Authors Handbook — G o r d o n W e l l s , P a p e r M a c £3.95 Street Freedom — A n n a C o o t e & B e a t r i x C a m p b e l l , P i c a d o r £1.95
H . G . Wells Society
Astrosoc
Following the College's decision to axe the lunchtime Humanities pr ogr amm e the H . G . Wells Society p r o p o s e d to fill in the T u e s d a y a n d T h u r s d a y lunchtime slot with our o w n lectures. A pr ogr amm e has yet to be decided but will be in a similar vein to this year's Humanities lectures and, in fact, will be w o r k e d out in collaboration with the D e p a r t m e n t of Humanities. The w o r k entailed in running the society next year will be too m u c h for students o n a degree course and two sabbatical posts have therefore been created. In the light of this new information I have no alternative but to declare M o n d a y ' s results of C h a i r m a n and Exte r n a l Secretary void. Re-elections shall be held next t e r m by College-wide ballot. Papers will be put up in all departments a n d nominations for the posts must be made by next Thursday at the latest w h e n papers c o m e d o w n . College will be funding the greater part of the project although the U n i o n has been a s k ed to m a t c h the cost by 30%. Preliminary discussions seem to indicate two main alternatives either: reduce major subcommittee budgets substantially; or, abolish one of the current sabbatical posts, probably that of H o n o r a r y Secretary. F u r t h e r information may be obtained from either myself or M a r c o L e d w o l d , the current H o n o r a r y Secretary, from the U n i o n Office.
Industrial
Gay
ICIS needs a logo! If you're a m e m b e r , you'll k n o w h o w boring our m e m b e r s h i p cards are. W h a t we intend to d o next year is have decent ones, c o l o u r e d of c o u r s e , and with a distinctive Indsoc e m b l e m . So c o m e o n , all y o u artists a n d designers, we don't think you're prat(t)s, w o r k out a nice design for us (or we'll do it ourselves!). A l l results to Alistair K i r k , Physics 2. A n o t h e r reminder that N o r m a n T e b b i t , the E m p l o y m e n t M i n i s t e r , is c o m i n g to College o n the first T h u r s d a y of next t e r m (29 April) to talk about his controversial E m p l o y m e n t Bill and answer questions. I shan't d o a resume of the term's events, as last term's one was edited completely out!
It has been decided by the N U S G a y L i b e r a t i o n C o m m i t t e e that a " G a y Student A l l i a n c e " should be f o r m e d t o give s o m e n a t i o n a l representation for G a y students. IC have been a s k e d to send a delegate to the launching conferen c e, but since we have no G a y s o c it has landed o n m y desk. Is there anyone out there, gay or not, who w o u l d be interested in attending? It is U n i o n policy to "where possible support measures a i m e d at freedom from all discrimination " so it's important that someone goes, and I have no great wish to go myself. If y o u w o u l d like to go d r o p m e a note (in confidence) at the U n i o n Office and I'll let y o u have more details. It's set for M a y 7-9. Nick Pyne 1CU Welfare Officer
A s t r o s o c is p r o u d to announce that we have been offered three, expenses-paid scholarship by the E u r o p e a n S pa c e A g e n c y at the N A S A S p a c e C e n t r e in C a p e K e n n e d y , F l o r i d a . T h e lucky applicants will be e x p e c t e d to s p e n d their three m o n t h s u m m e r vacation under the employ of N A S A . T h e w o r k will involve spending three weeks in each of four departments under the supervision of a w e l l - k n o w n space-scientist. T o gain an understanding of the workings of the S p a c e Shuttle, while at the same time undergoing the initial training given to prospective astronauts. G i v e n sufficient progress, the students c a n expect to be flying the S p a c e Shuttle simulator by the e n d of the s u m m e r and may even be allowed a co-pilot's seat in the Enterprise during her test-flights, from the back of a J u m b o over the A r i z o n a desert. This promises to be a very intensive course with little opportunity for a social life, however it is clearly the chance of a lifetime. T h e aim behind the s c h e m e is, to quote the E S A letter " t o give E u r o p e a n science students an insight into the workings of N A S A , with particular view to encouraging t h e m to join the S p a c e L a b team, o n c e they graduate from university." W e w o u l d like to emphasize that the successful applicants should expect to w o r k h a r d and be able to get o n well with the other students from G e r m a n y , F r a n c e and Italy who will also be o n the same scheme. P h y s i c a l fitness is obviously a must. F o r further information contact A n n D z i w i o r through the P h y s i c s 2 letter-racks or any A s t r o s o c committee member s before 12:00pm next Thursday.
FELIX, March 26, 1982
Page 5
Quest for Fire, 20th Century Fox, Directed by Jean-Jacques Annaud. Quest for Fire would c l a i m to portray the first romance in history, but the happy event is not reached until a great deal of sex (usually anal) and violence has taken place. T h e film is set 8 0 , 0 0 0 B C when tribes have discovered the advantages of fire but cannot create it anew. T h i s means they must keep a continually burning flame a n d fight other tribes w h e n their o w n flame is/has extinguished. T h e s e fights are e x t r e m e l y violent, not surprising as member s of the same tribe can not really c o m m u n i c a t e , never m i n d two opposing tribes realising that they c a n share the same source of fire. Ika and Noah,
the stars of the forthcoming recreation of prehistoric life "Quest for Fire".
*74ea0te O n T h e Rattle by Tom Stoppard. Adopted from Johann Nestroy and directed by Peter Wood. The Lyttelton, National Theatre. If y o u t h i n k y o u h a v e p r o b l e m s i n c o m m u n i c a t i n g a n d that people misunderstand what y o u say then y o u ought to see T o m S t o p p a r d ' s O n The Razzle at the National. Y o u r problems are nothing in c o m p a r i s o n to Jthose of the characters in the play. L i n e after line of dialogue abounds with c o m i c confusion a n d m i s u n d e r s t a n d i n g , but these verbal tribulations are only a part of the troubles beset by the characters. A grocer's assistant and y o u n g apprentice, played respectively by R a y B r o o k s and Felicity K e n d a l , escape for a day a n d a night o n the t w o in V i e n n a . But they get m u c h more than they bargained for. T h e a m o r o u s adventures of t h e i r b o s s , Z a n g l e r , a l s o b r i n g h i m t o V i e n n a . Played hilariously by Dinsdale L a n d e n , Zangler is a r o t u n d , red-faced, irrepressible m a n , w i t h a m o d e s t p o s s e s s i o n of h a i r r i d i c u l o u s l y o v e r - c r e a m e d . He suffers tragically from w o r d mixing. T h e c h a o s that hits V i e n n a a n d the fast-moving c o m e d y that ensues reminds one of the lunatic antics of the M a r x Brothers. S t o p p a r d ' s O n The Razzle is at least the fourth r e w o r k i n g of J o h a n n N e s t r o y ' s play Einen Jux-will er sich machen (He's out for a Fling), w h i c h N e s t r o y himself p i n c h e d from s o m e o n e else. ( N o w there's originality for y o u ! ) . N e s t r o y w a s t h e k i n g of V i e n n e s e c o m e d y in the last c e n t u r y a n d usually p e r f o r m e d in his o w n plays. H e was also an opera singer until the age of thirty. W h a t N e s t r o y a d d e d to V i e n n e s e c o m e d y in his time was satire. T h e p r o g r a m m e notes proclaim t h a t " h e l o o k e d at t h e h u m a n r a c e , a n d decided that the treatment it needed was m o c k e r y . " N e s t r o y wrote "I believe the worst of any h u m a n being, even of myself, a n d I have seldom been m i s t a k e n . " H i s style wasn't political satire, but satire o n h u m a n nature itself. T h e original play o n w h i c h O n The Razzle is based is a play of its day. It is full of topical r e f e r e n c e s . It a l s o p l a y s g a m e s w i t h t h e V i e n n e s e dialect giving rise to a language full of subtleties, cleverly mastered to evade the powerful c e n s o r s h i p that existed in that day. S t o p p a r d necessarily h a d to 'start afresh' in Page 6
o r d e r to m a k e the play i n t e l l i g i b l e , a n o h u m o r o u s , to m o d e r n day English audiences. T h e play's c o m e d y rests virtually entirely on t h e p l a y of w o r d s . C o n s e q u e n t l y it y o u r English is not g o o d , like the F r e n c h couple next to me, y o u r e m a i n p o k e r - f a c e d throughout the whole play. It is not my type of h u m o u r , but it was noticeable that it was the older member s of the audience w h o were in a near-permanent state of laughter. (Tis a funny thing humour.) Nick Bedding
Mean by J.P. Sartre, was presented by Imperial College Dramatic Society. Kean relates the tale of the V i c t o r i a n actor of the same name w h o realises himself a n d as a c o n s e q u e n c e , w h i c h the story attempts to necessitate, has to leave the profession in w h i c h he is so lucid. T h e concept of acting, the whole business of plays a n d the theatre, is an obvious one o n w h i c h S a r t r e c o u l d impose his C a r t e s i a n melodrama. T h e play delights in i l l u s t r a t i o n s of g a m e s - p l a y i n g , of i n f l a t e d artificiality a s s i m u l a t e d as r e a l f r o m K e a n playing H a m l e t to K e a n playing at being K e a n in L o n d o n ' s rigid social life. T h e presentation was formal but efficient, with any doubts about the multiple points of the play being lost in unnecessary stylisation being dispelled as the main characters gained strength. It c o u l d be said that some of the existential pivots of the story, so dear to S a r t r e , were sometimes a little underplayed while other facets, s u c h as the gay hairdresser, were needlessly overstated. H o w e v e r , m u c h of the rougher humour of the play and amusing subsidiary characters served to sustain the plays length w h i c h , at a r o u n d three hours, the cast c o p e d with very well. S o m e lively techniques, s u c h as planted member s of the audience pelting K e a n with fruit, brought the play off the stage and b e y o n d strict formality without any danger to the c o h e r e n c e of the story as a whole. T h e plot itself begins to flag in the final scenes with Sartre's labouring on choice threatening to dissolve into sentimentality but the cast met with this g r a c i o u s l y and altogether gave a good, enthusiastic performance. It is perhaps a pity that after the people involved had obviously put in a lot of w o r k to put o n a generally slick performance of K e a n that when I was there, S a t u r d a y night, the hall was only half-full. David Gill FELIX, March 26, 1982
It is i n t h i s c o n t e x t t h a t a r e l a t i o n s h i p developes between N a o h (Everett M c G i l l ) and Ika (Rae D a w n C h o n g ) from a more advanced tribe who eventually shows N a o h a n d his tribe how to m a k e fire for themselves. T h e couple meet when N a o h a n d two of his tribesmen set out in search of fire a n d the majority of the film consists of their encounters with other tribes, m a m m o t h s (really elephants) a n d sabre-tooth tigers. A l t h o u g h these scenes are exciting a n d occasionally funny, at times it is hard to believe a m a n c o u l d walk from the A r c t i c to East Africa within a few feet of film. T h e film was made o n a large budget and will appeal more to those interested in action and adventure than those who want a study in interpersonal relationships. It features only two 'big' names ( A n t h o n y B u r g e s s who i n v e n t e d the special language used a n d D e s m o n d M o r r i s w h o c r e a t e d the b o d y l a n g u a g e ) n e i t h e r of w h o m i s u s u a l l y associated with the film industry. T h e film is currently enjoying enormous success in America. Peter Rodgers
Whose Life is it Anyway? (A) John Badham, 1981. Starring Richard Drey fuss, Christine Lahti. 119 mins. Showing: ABC Fulham Road, ABC Bayswater, Classic Oxford Street. This started as a G r a n a d a T V play, was then put on by the G r e e n w i c h Fringe, transferred to the W e s t E n d , on to B r o a d w a y , and now "see the film". T h e action has been transposed to A m e r i c a , but I presume the original view was supposed t o s u r v i v e . It d o e s n ' t . A n y m e a n i n g f u l illustration of ethic and all tension generated by choice is firmly buried beneath the artificial edifice of sacharrin sentimentality. Originally the paralysed K e n H a r r i s o n was a bluff sculptor but in this version, and played by R i c h a r d Dreyfuss, he c a n s k e t c h like Renoir and sculpt like R o d i n . H e has a beautiful ballet dancer girlfriend, w h o is treated as a trinket throughout the film, and he is fawned over by an equally attr ac ti v e a n d bauble-like lady doctor. F r o m the wonderfully talented surgeon to the street-wise hospital orderly, caricatures propagate increasingly pointlessly in this wilderness. E a c h character in serving merely as a t e s t i m o n y t o K e n ' s w o n d e r f u l n e s s b e c o m e s an automated v o i d and instead of defining the nature and limits of the choices ope n to h i m they create a hollowness that swallows plot and any ensuing moral decision. If y o u like films sugary, safe a n d anaesthetised, singularly devoid of any questioning of ethic, then y o u may be able to stand this one. I think it should have been aborted. David Gill
j
Rag Rag lives o n ! L a s t Saturday was the Deaf K i d d i e s P a r t y w h i c h , unlike a lot of R a g earlier this year, was a success. T h e r e were about twenty children who had a great time attacking e a c h other a n d those w h o were k i n d enough to r i s k life a n d l i m b t o c o m e a n d h e l p . P a t K i n g s w e l l , o r g a n i s e r of t h e N a t i o n a l D e a f C h i l d r e n ' s Society was there a n d brought with her one of the Radio-Electronic H e a r i n g A i d s which we are buying for them at ÂŁ300 a go. Many thanks to all w h o came to help, especially to G a y n o r e L e w i s , without whom John
Ferguson Rag Sec
SF Soc E v e n though there's no time for y o u to buy one this t e r m , I'd better let y o u k n o w that the s oc magazine, the almost indescribable N M E 3 has just been published, 40p to non-members, 30p to m e m b e r s , a n d 20p if you've got something in it. It's even funnier than M o r n i n g C l o u d , folks! W e won't have many events next t e r m , as it is o u r policy not to provide distractions just before the exams. T h e policy does not extend to not showing The Rocky Horror Picture Show however, so we will. O u r president c l a i m s that he will a t t e n d i n gold lame swimming t r u n k s , but only time will tell. After this there will be the A G M where next year's officers will be elected. I don't think anything remains to be said e x c e p t perhaps that if there are any L a r r y N i v e n fans out there, they might like to k n o w that Oath of Fealty is out in paperback. I will now exit singing " H i H o A d r i c ' s D e a d " . Y o u r s faithfully. The Autarch
of West
mm
Rifle & Pistol A s a n n o u n c e d last week, the i n t e r - C C U f u l l bore c o m p e t i t i o n took place at Bisley over 900yds o n S u n d a y . A f t e r i n i t i a l p r o b l e m s w i t h transport a full c o m p l e m e n t of shooters for each t e a m m a d e their i n t r e p i d j o u r n e y to the b a r r e n wastes of Bisley. A s usual r a i n was encountered, b u t the boundless enthusiasm of D e n is S l e a t h ( C l u b C a p t a i n , contact v i a M e c h E n g letter-racks) instilled fresh spirit i n team members, w h o f o u n d w a r m cars a n d hot coffee more s t i m u l a t i n g . A f t e r a hesitant start by a l l teams, R C S took a n early lead a n d by l u n c h were three points a h e a d at G u i l d s w i t h M i n e s already totally out o f the r u n n i n g . M a r k B o u r k e ( R C S ) shot a 45 before l u n c h followed closely by G u i l d s m e n L i n d s a y , S m i t h a n d H i l t o n w h o a l l registered 44 apiece. A f t e r a m a i n l y l i q u i d l u n c h both teams (not M i n e s ) shot w i t h skill a n d fervour w i t h a magnificent 49 from T o n y Briers w h i c h c l i n c h e d the trophy for R C S despite a b r a v e 47 f r o m G a r y S m i t h for G u i l d s . F o l l o w i n g the prize presentation (again l i q u i d ! ) the teams set off h o m e w i t h D e n i s a n d Steve indecently exposing themselves i n H a m m e r s m i t h due to the excitement o f the day. P o l i c e are l o o k i n g into the matter. F i n a l score: G u i l d s 442; M i n e s 362; R C S 450.
Rugby
Eight
Seconds
T h e r e are still a few tickets remaining for the Silwood Ball, so contact S i m o n M o o r e via the U n i o n Office for details. I'm s o r r y a b o u t a l l t h e c o c k - u p s w i t h Spanner and B o l t , but it was all the fault of M r X , (and myself for trusting him). T h e office is nice a n d tidy at the m o m e n t , so let's try a n d keep it that way, a n d perhaps we c a n use it for the hive of social activity that is, even as I write, springing from the heels of next year's executive.
T h e f o l l o w i n g awards have been m a d e for the 1981 2 season. M o s t appearances: C h r i s C o l e ("It was bloody s t r a i g h t " ) . M o s t appearances i n the b a r : G a r y P i k e Best p e r f o r m a n c e i n t h e b a r : W i l l Chapman F o r e i g n p l a y e r of the year: Jose P a x a i o a n d family. T e a m trendy: O w e n " N u m a n " M i l e s Best tackle i n j u r y : M a r k " j a w s " S i m m o n s Boot of the year: R o g e r F l y n n Zit of the year: J o n " p e r v " C o t t o m T e a m a p e m a n : Steve K i r b y Disease of the year: Scabies H u t t o n Best s u p p o r t i n g actor: M i c k y " H a y e s " Winsor
Careers Advisory Service Summer Term Job Vacancy Scheme
FELIX C A L E N D A R Summer T e r m Any events for possible inclusion on the summer calendar should be sent to the F E L I X Office as s o o n as possible. Last date for entries: Monday, April 19.
Best t r y : M i l e s " I c a n ' t score" T h o m p s o n ( w h i c h one was that, I wonder?). C h u n d e r o f the season: H u g h i e R a l p h . Tosser of the year: E d O ' C o n n o r T e a m menty: J o h n W e i r F a l l i n g o v e r / c o l l a p s i n g : C a p t a i n Steve T h a n k s are also d u e to Shitface C h a r l i e Henderson/Mark Jackson, Nick " m o a n e r " B r u m m e l l for getting a b o g c h a i n i n the eye. A n d y N e c k h a l l (anag) for getting engaged a n d finally to T i m C a r r for always b e i n g last.
In view of the difficult employment situation facing graduates this year it has been decided to offer a new service for College leavers this s u mmer. T h i s service is in two parts as follows. 1. Notification of Vacancies Immediately after Easter the C a r e e r s A d v i s o r y Service will be in t o u c h with employers to seek notification of job vacancies as yet unfilled or new vacancies w h i c h have arisen. T h e results of this exercise will be available to students FELIX, March 26, 1982
Football Sevenths T h e team scored fourteen goals in the last t w o matches yet o n l y m a n a g e d to w i n three points. P r o m o t i o n is still possible. Scorers: J . N o r l e y (3), T . D o n o v a n (3), P . W i l d e (2), M . L e n c z n e r (2), C . L o p i z (1), A . M i l n e r (1), P . R o d g e r s (1), S. Else (1).
Squash T h i s week sees the e n d o f a h i g h l y e n j o y a b l e and c o m p e t i t i v e season. T h e c l u b has strength i n d e p t h w i t h a m e m b e r s h i p o f 9 5 , most of w h o m have used the i n t e r n a l l a d d e r . Facts a n d figures are s u m m a r i s e d below. Autumn T e r m lsts ( D i v 1) 2nds 3rds ( D i v 4) 4ths ( D i v 5)
W 2
D 1
L 6
F 18V
5 8 3
1 1 2
2 0 4
24 40V 19
date) D L 0 3 0 5 0 2 1 3
F 15 16 28 237
S p r i n g T e r m (to W lsts 3 2nds 3 3rds ( D i v 3) 6 4ths 4
A 267
2
2
2
21'/, 2
47 26
2
A 15 24 12 167
2
E n q u i r i e s from U L U are a n t i c i p a t e d f o l l o w i n g the 3 r d t e a m 5-0 " v i c t o r y " over the 2nd team. T h e ladies team p l a y e d w e l l i n their first year o f existence. M o n d a y ' s A G M elected the f o l l o w i n g as officers for 1 9 8 2 / 3 : Captain: D . M o l e s w o r t h , H o n Sec: J . Wittrick, Treasurer: N . Walker. T h a n k s to the f o l l o w i n g : Firsts: /.. Daneshmend, Rupert Wilkinson, C. Hufflelt, M. Dickens. Seconds: R. Clarke, P. Robinson, J. Pelton,.P. Fishwick, Fi. Gladstone. T h i r d s : R. Jeffenes, I. Spinks, D. Molesworth, J. Wittrick, R. Daud. F o u r t h s : S. Roberts, M. Budd, M. Newberry, M. McClure, .V. Walker, K. Singarajah.
during the s u m m e r t e r m . 2. Register of Students Available for Employment F r o m the beginning of the s u m m e r t e r m a new s c h e m e will be i n t r o d u c e d t h r o u g h w h i c h students seeking employment c a n register a S t a n d a r d A p p l i c a t i o n F o r m with the C a r e e r s A d v i s o r y Service. Precise details of h o w the s c h e m e will operate have yet to be finished but either employers m a y be notified of students seeking employment in specific areas o r students notified of vacancies w h i c h match their requirements. Details of the scheme will be available next term.
Page 7
Photo Competition The winner of last week's competition is Andrew Barron of Chemistry who can collect his haircut voucher from the office. The still was of Jamie Lee Curtis, daughter of Tony Curtis, in Halloween. Nobody managed to get the director though: John Carpenter.
Things yet to come!
RIP DP The premature departure of I C U Deputy President Barney McCabe was not a complete surprise and it has aroused mixed reactions in most people, not least myself, Nick and Marco. Putting aside any personal feelings about Barney, we must look at the reasons for his resignation. T h e fact is that as D e p u t y President he was responsible for the games machines in the Union Lower Lounge and should therefore have known that they were losing money. It was wrong that he did not discover this earlier and take appropriate action to ensure a reasonable profit at the end of the year. As a consequence of his error the Union will suffer not only a loss of money but a shortfall of income which will (in the long run) affect many clubs and societies. For these reasons it was right that Council passed a motion of no-confidence. The fact that Barney chose to resign at this point rather than await a U G M decision was purely his choice. It is by no means certain that he would have been kicked out by a U G M , so I must give him credit for resigning on principle rather than risking further humiliation just to hang on to his job. It is also sad to see someone who is widely liked having to resign. But overall it was the best thing to do.
Scaramouche There were a couple of omissions in this "week's preamble. Last week's winner is Linda Burry of Maths 2 who can collect her cheque on the first Tuesday of next term. The closing date for entries to the Easter puzzles page is 1:00pm, Wednesday, April 28.
Another term has raced by and we have reached the time of year when everybody seems to think they can do nothing else but work for exams. FELIX will continue as ever next term, although it may dwindle in size as the amount of help slackens off. However, I hope you're not all too busy with exams and will keep sending in letters, articles and adverts. There are several things planned for next term, including a look at the fermentation pilot plant which hit the news last week and some profiles of College personalities. If you have any ideas, it's still not too late to pop your suggestions in to me at the office.
Calendar Any dates for possible inclusion on next term's calendar should reach me by Monday, April 19 at the latest.
Credits After many hard weeks of work I would like to thank the following people for their help throughout this and other issues this term. News: Peter R o d g e r s (editor), Pallab Ghosh, Tim Lord, Alistair Kirk, Chris Webb, Steve Marshall. Sport: Lesley H o r r o c k s (editor), Mary Harrington, F. Bogey-Rolla et al. Reviews: Nick Bedding, Nick Willson, David Gill, Steve Marshall, Pallab Gho sh, Shezi Abedi, Andy Best. . Photographs: Ramzi Shammas, Jane Williams, Nick Thexton, Martin S. Taylor, Andy Best. Puzzles: Scaramouche. Paste-Up and General: S o h e e l , Peter Rodgers, Martin S. T a y l o r , David Rowe, Simon Rodan, Steve Marshall, Dave Jago, Steve Tyson, Caroline Godin. Collators: Steve Goulder, Jez, Mo, Dave Jago, Nick Willson, Martin S. Taylor, Izy, Pallab Ghosh, Peter Rodgers, David Rowe and all the others who are (just about) too numerous to mention. And of course Maz and Ian.
Hughes Parry Hall
What's On Friday, March 26 • A n n a Coote, Deputy Editor of New Statesman, speaks about Feminism. Organised by IC Labour Club. All welcome. 1:00pm, Union Upper Lounge.
Thursday, April 1 • D e m o n s t r a t i o n followed by r a l l y , 12:00 n o o n , Speaker's C o r n e r , Hyde Park. T h e demonstration will p r o t e s t a g a i n s t i m p o r t e d C u b a n Jaffa c a k e s Billy Bremner (ex-Captain, Leeds United) will address the rally.
Thursday, April 29 • C o n s e r v a t i v e and Industrial S o c i e t y p r e s e n t N o r m a n Tebbit M P , Employment Secretary talking on the Employment Bill, 1:00pm, M e c h E n g 220.
C o n t r a r y to popular belief, not all the intercollegiate halls of residence close to students over the vacations. Hughes Parry | Hall, for example, not only takes students at Christmas and Easter, but is open throughout the summer vacation.. The hall is mixed with seven floors of women and seven of men students Fees include all meals except weekday lunches. There are squash and tennis courts and parking for eighteen cars. Over the summer preference is given to MSc students and undergraduates who wish to spend the whole of the vacation in hall. Shorter stays can be arranged and are best booked well in advance Study bedrooms are relatively large and well furnished. The hall is situated within walking distance of Russell Square, King's Cross and Euston underground stations and takes 25 to 30 minutes from College. For further information and application form write to the Warden, Hughes Parry Hall, Cartwright Gardens, W C I H 9 E F , or contact the hall president, G r d h t i m Copley, Chemical Engineering 2.
Fidel
Castro
A legend in his own lunchtime b y W. Nillson One of the more active and apparently wellfunded dictatorships in the world is Cuba. Cuba, home of the Havana cigar, the Fidel Castro, and Jaffa cakes. Penguins used to be good value, despite a mouthful of feathers. But, ever since it became uneconomical for the eskimo to manufacture them, Castro's Jaffa cakes have become Britain's number one imported biscuit, threatening the genuine article.
The Ulterior Motive Quite simply, old Fungus Chops is out to undermine British industry by undercutting its prices. Moreover, by flooding the market with cheap imitations, Castro is hoping to curry favour with, if not carry flavour to, the British public. He is undoubtedly applying Lenny Brezhnev's dictum " N o opportunity must be lost in the struggle to overthrow the lackeys of capitalism, to establish the dictatorship of the proletariat and to buy me another Western sports car" (Lenny always was shit-hot on paradox.)
The Manufacturing Process To appreciate the nature of this sinister threat to our biscuits, one need only run to ground Castro Cakes' distributor in Britian. I caught him furtively fixing a thermostat to a tub of bile secretion (sic). Only when his voice murmured that these were the mixing ingredients being kept at a steady temperature did 1 realise the u n p a l a t a b l e t r u t h : C a s t r o ' s c a k e s are processed from shit. So watch out! (Sick.)
Detecting the Pseud Increasingly, it's difficult to distinguish Castro cakes from Jaffa cakes. For one thing, Fidel no longer includes that tell-tale "hero of the Soviet Union" medal in each pack. However, if the cakes cause severe stomach pains, followed by nausea, diarrhoea and acute depression; you've definitely eaten the McVitie's variety.
What You Can Do Write to your M P (IC Union has printed letters calling on Parliament to ban Cuban cakes, and will pay the postage.)* Better still, join the demonstration we've organised. Marchers from across the nation, united under the banner 'Pseudosnacks O u t " will be assembling at noon next Thursday at S p e a k e r ' s C o r n e r in H y d e P a r k . T h e proceecings will climax in a rally at 3:00pm in Trafalgar Square. Mr Michael Foot (Leader of the O p p o s i t i o n ) and M r D e n n i s H o w e l l (Minister for Droughts, Snow, and OrangeCentred Biscuits) will not be there. But, B i l y Bremner, former Captain of Leeds Utd, will address the meeting through an interpreter. T h i s is not entirely accurate.
FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB (589-5111 ext 1048 int 2881) Copy right FELIX
1982. Editor: M A Smith, Advertising
Manager:
S M Giblin.
exec wews Q
N O W !
E M E R G E N C Y
UGM March 25th 1:00pm Great Hall
PRESIDENT'S Sick
REPORT
Union General
Bay.
The h e a l t h s e r v i c e i s under c o n s i d e r a b l e p r e s s u r e t o r e d u c e c o s t s ( l i k e the whole C o l l e g e ) a n dt h ea r e a most t h r e a t e n e d i s t h es i c k bay. The p r o p o s a l i s t o c h a r g e f i r s t y e a r r e s i d e n t s a c o m p u l s o r y i n s u r a n c e p r e m i u m ( a b o u t £10) o n their first hall b i l l . This w i l l entitle individuals to free s i c k baytreatment f o r 3 years. F i r s t y e a r s n o ti n h a l l w i l l be a b l e t o j o i n v o l u n t a r i l y . A system w i l l be worked o u t f o r second and t h i r d y e a r s . I was i n i t i a l l y a g a i n s t a c o m p u l s o r y i n s u r a n c e b u t h a v e c h a n g e d my m i n d since i t i s that o r no s i c k bay. I p r o p o s e we a c c e p t t h e idea i n p r i n c i p l e . Residence• The the
idea of paying rent over t h evacation as discussed at l a s t UGM h a s b e e n s h e l v e d .
Meeting
Chairman
N.S.Pyne proposed Jon S t a n l e y proposed Jonathan M.Millerproposed
by by by
BY-LAW
Martin Taylor S.Methley J.S.Sharman
CHANGE Proposed b y : Seconded b y :
C h r i s Webb Andy R u s h t o n .
Under 4 b . Delete:
Department
Insert:
D e p a r t m e n t o f Management and E c o n o m i c S t u d i e s .
I w i l l present v e r b a l l y t h eoutcome o f d i s c u s s i o n s a t Student Residence Committee on domestic s e r v i c e s i n t h e halls.
o f Management
Science. S c i e n c e and
of Social
* * * * * * * Redundancies. The R e c t o r p r e s e n t e d a p l a n a t l a s t w e e k ' s G o v e r n i n g Body f o r r e d u n d a n c i e s , a g a i n e m p h a s i z i n g t h a t t h e y may n o t b e necessary i n t h enear future. The C o l l e g e b r a n c h o f t h e AUT h a v e i d e a s f o r r a i s i n g o r s a v i n g m o n e y t o p r e v e n t redundancies. Some o f t h e s e i d e a s d i r e c t l y a f f e c t s t u d e n t s s o I s e n t my c o m m e n t s i n w r i t i n g t o G o v e r n i n g B o d y . I was not p r e s e n t a t t h e meeting s o perhaps Barney can r e p o r t o n the outcome. Chancellor's
Chancellor's
Under 4 a . Delete:
"The
ULU
Representative".
MOT 10 N ON SOUTH AFRICA
Proposed Seconded
Behaviour. resolved
Saturday
April
17th,
6.30pm,
HONORARY S E C R E T A R Y ' S
BBC 2 .
Notes:
1.
The South A f r i c a n system o f government i s r a c i s t , r e p r e s s i v e , and i n d i r e c t c o n t r a v e n t i o n o f t h e U n i t e d d e c l a r a t i o n on Human R i g h t s .
2.
The South A f r i c a n f o r c e s a r e i n i l l e g a l o c c u p a t i o n o f N a m i b i a and p e r p e t u a l l y make a t t a c k s a g a i n s t n e i g h b o u r i n g c o u n t r i e s such as A n g o l a .
3.
B r i t i s h Nuclear Fuels Ltd. has a contract t o r e c e i v e u r a n i u m betwee n 1 9 7 7 - 8 4 f r o m t h e R o s s i n g mine i n N a m i b i a , and t h e B r i t i s h - b a s e d t r a n s n a t i o n a l R i o T i n t o Z i n « ha s t h e l a r g e s t e q u i t y h o l d i n g i n R o s s i n g . This i s a l l i n c o n t r a v e n t i o n o f t h e UN p o l i c y on N a m i b i a .
5.
1982 i s t h e UN I n t e r n a t i o n a l Y e a r f o r t h e M o b i l i s a t i o n of S a n c t i o n s a g a i n s t South A f r i c a .
Watch i t :
REPORT
Colours. Nominations a r et r i c k l i n g i someone f o r S o c i a l C o l o u r s t h r e e q u a r t e r A4 page j u s t i before t h ef i r s t Friday o f
Elections. P a p e r s went up o n 2 3 / 3 / 8 2 following posts:-
n . I f you w i s h t o nominate t h e n you must w r i t e a h a l f / f i c a t i o n w h i c h I must r e c e i v e next term.
i n t h eU n i o n Lower
Lounge
for the
4 O r d i n a r y Members o f Permanent W o r k i n g P a r t y Haldane L i b r a r y Record Buyer H a l d a n e L i b r a r y Book Buyer S e c r e t a r y t o the E x t e r n a l A f f a i r s Committee F o u r d e l e g a t e s t o ULU G e n e r a l U n i o n C o u n c i l F e l i x B u s i n e s s Manager 3 O r d i n a r y Members o f House C o m m i t t e e Publicity Officer P a p e r s come down o n t h e f i r s t T h u r s d a y 2 9 / 4 / 8 2 andt h ee l e c t i o n s w i l l b e h e l d
o f next term a t t h e UGM o n 4 / 5 / 8 2 .
by A n t i A p a r t h e i d G r o u p by L i b e r a l C l u b Labour Club Socialist Society
ICU
Door. plug;
C h r i s Webb Nick Morton.
* * * * * * *
T a l k i n g o f HR H I s t i l l h a v e n o t s a t i s f a c t o r i l y the b u f f a l o / t i g e r a f f a i r b u t i t i s i n hand.
Final
Proposed b y : Seconded b y :
Glass.
I a t t e n d e d a r e c e p t i o n f o r t h e C h a n c e l l o r , HRH P r i n c e s s Anne, a t ULU and c l e v e r l y o b t a i n e d t h e v e r y g l a s s f r o m w h i c h she was d r i n k i n g , ( C o k e ! ) . 1 hope t h e Rag C h a i r m a n w i l l be able t o r a f f l e t h i s magnificent trophy a t t h i s meeting.
Open
B Y - L A W CHANGE
ICU
Believes:
1.
A p a r t h e i d i s wrong and e v e r y end s u p p o r t o f t h e r e g i m e .
2.
The c o l l e g e C a r e e r s A d v i s o r y S e r v i c e i s wrong i n i n v i t i n g companies t o t h e c o l l e g e t o r e c r u i t s t u d e n t s t o work i n S o u t h A f r i c a , p e r m a n e n t l y o r d u r i n g a v a c a t i o n , and s h o u l d be d i s c o u r a g e d .
ICU
effort
should
be t a k e n t o
Instruets:
1.
T h e U n i o n and E x e c u t i v e t o t a k e a c t i o n t o p r e v e n t t h e c o l l e g e ' s C a r e e r s A d v i s o r y S e r v i c e from i n v i t i n g c o m p a n i e s i n v o l v e d i n r e c r u i t i n g s t u d e n t s t o work i n S o u t h A f r i c a and f o r t h e E x e c u t i v e t o r e p o r t back t o the n e x t UGM.
2.
T h e U n i o n and E x e c u t i v e t o s u p p o r t t h e UN I n t e r n a t i o n a l Year f o r the M o b i l i s a t i o n of S a n c t i o n s against S o u t h A f r i c a , by p u b l i c i s i n g i t and a t t e n d i n g t h e N a t i o n a l March on Sunday , 1 4 t h M a r c h . 1982.
RETURNING OFF ICER'S REPORT The following
f o l l o w i n g p e o p l e have been e l e c t e d t o t h e p o s i t i o n s unopposed s u b j e c t t o r a t i f i c a t i o n :
Community A c t i o n G r o u p C h a i r m a n Rag Chairman Welfare O f f i c e r U n i v . o f London R e p r e s e n t a t i v e
will
Ken Young John Ferguson Jonathan Barnett M.A.Williams
H u s t i n g s and e l e c t i o n s f o r t h e f o l l o w i n g be h e l d a t t h e m e e t i n g :
Entertainments
Officer
A.N.Owens W.J.Waterson Academic
Affairs
J.S.Boucher P h i l i p B.Nathan External
Affairs
A.J.Benham S.A.Rodan
p r o p o s e d by p r o p o s e d by
ICUI n s t r u c t s
AFRICA
2. andi n s e r t 3 : -
" T h e U n i o n a n d E x e c u t i v e t o s u p p o r t t h e UN I n t e r n a t i o n a l Year f o r t h eM o b i l i s a t i o n o f S a n c t i o n s A g a i n s t South Africa".
J.P.Stanley Tom Owen
and
R.G.Holding C h r i s Webb
The U n i o n t o p r o v i d e a l t e r n a t i v e c a r e e r s i n f o r m a t i o n t o a l l U n i o n members who a r e b e i n g i n t e r v i e w e d b y c o m p a n i e s t h a t are r e c r u i t i n g f o r South A f r i c a and N a m i b i a .
Officer p r o p o s e d by p r o p o s e d by
AMENDED MOTION ON SOUTH Delete
Jon Steel Ronan M c D o n a l d
Officer p r o p o s e d by p r o p o s e d by
posts
insert 2 : -