Founded in 1949
The Newspaper of Imperial College Union
wash their sheets. W h a t about people w h o won't wash their clothes? O r themselves? But then I w o u l d n ' t fancy w a s h i ng J e r e m y N u n n s . T h e points is that two thirds of C o l l e g e students live out a n d have to wash their o w n sheets. T h i s they manage perfectly well arid there has never been a d i r t y bed p r o b l e m i n the H e a d Tenancies where students look after themselves. I a m sure J e r e m y c o u l d soon change that.
Dear
Mark
Of course there is no truth in N i c k M o r t o n ' s r u m o u r (letters, last week) that I have received a special medal " a w a r d e d for sexual prowess at the A G M " . H o w e v e r great or small my prowess, I have always m a n aged to c o n t a i n it at U n i o n Meetings. Tours
J . Martin Taylor ( O r was it M a r t i n S. Taylor?) Dear
Mark
It really was marvellous to read a series of errors a n d misconceptions in y o u r letters section rather t h a n y o u r news section. I refer to the d r i v e l written by J e r e m y N u n n s (not noted for his w e l l - i n f o r m e d opinions). I shall attempt to set p o o r little J e r e m y straight. Firstly, the idea was not mine, but D o n M o n r o ' s . I d i d not commission a costing of the s c h e m e , but S t u d e n t Residence C o m m i t t e e as a whole. T h e H a l l s are not keen to get i n v o l v e d i n a central l a u n d r y , t h e y w i l l be u p g r a d i n g their existingfacilities. H o w e v e r , I C U C o u n c i l is k e e n to see a l a u n d e r e t t e , even if a wash costs 50p, for m a n y people i n College w h o do not live i n H a l l . I have informed the C o l l e g e a u t h o r i ties of this a n d it is being looked into for us. I n c i d e n tally, if the U n i o n moves to Southside, it m a y be possible to incorporate a launderette into the new plans. D i r t y o l d J e r e m y seems concerned about the a r o m a caused by students w h o won't Page 2
T h e serious question is, w i l l it cost a student £1 a week to wash h i s / h e r o w n linen? W i t h bigger w a s h i n g machines in H a l l s , it obviously w o n ' t . T w o obvious options are either to wash the sheets w i t h clothes or to get together w i t h other people o n the l a n d i n g a n d wash the whole lot together. I c a n see t h e l a t t e r o p t i o n w o u l d be a p r o b l e m f o r n e i g h b o u r s of t r e n d y I C R a d i o disc-jockeys. F i n a l l y , I a m non-plussed by a petition from a t h i r d of the r e s i d e n t s o f S o u t h s i d e . W h y ? Because I haven't seen it. A n d where were they w h e n I reported the matter to a U G M ? I was g o i n g to report verbally to the first U G M this t e r m a n d a c t u a l l y h a d it w r i tte n i n E x e c News for the A G M . However, nobody came so we formed no policy. .Instead I a m b o u n d by C o u n c i l p o l i c y w h i c h is different to the ideas I first put to them. T o canvass student o p i n i o n further, the Senior W a r d e r (retiring) has agreed to ask new residents' opinions on this m a t t e r on t h e i r acceptance forms. Tours clean and
wholesome
Nick Morton Dear
Mark
I must say it came as no surprise to read those letters i n last week's F E L I X c o n c e r n e d w i t h the F a l k l a n d s crisis. T h e way i n w h i c h they were w r i t t e n does m a k e one w o n d e r about the intelligence of some people at I C . T h e arguments against M r A l e x ander's letter was predictable a n d repetitive. T o g r o u p everybody w h o is u n h a p p y w i t h the g o v e r n ment's h a n d l i n g of this situation into one category and call them " B e n n i t e s " shows some n a i v i t y ; as does raising M a g g i e above a n altar
a n d w o r s h i p p i n g her. T h i s government has not acted so marvellously; even now there appears to be disagreement between M r s T h a t c h e r a n d M r P y m ; M r P y m does, I think, realise that the crisis is not o v e r o n c e B r i t a i n has r e c a p t u r e d the F a l k l a n d s ; meanwhile backbench Tories chant " n o sell-out". A l l three letters e x c l a i m e d the v i r t u e s o f s e l f - d e t e r m i n a t i o n , but I thought that the government h a d given u p on the idea that the w i l l of the islanders was of p a r a m o u n t importance? W h e r e else in B r i t a i n does this occur? In N o r t h e r n Ireland a n u m b e r of people wish to belong to the R e p u b l i c of I r e l a n d , but are their views heeded? N o , you say, they're i n a m i n o r i t y ! But as I understand it, no A r g e n tin ian is allowed to purchase l a n d i n the F a l k l a n d s , so of course they w o u l d n ' t be able to support themselves, thus the British m a i n t a i n a m a j o r i ty; is that fair? O K , so we should c o n d e m n acts of aggression, like that of A r g e n t i n a , b u t w h y does everybody j u m p to the trigger of a gun? I agree that we should stand up against aggression, but is violence the only way? It's about time people payed heed to U N decisions, a n d we c a n ' t expect A r g e n t i n a to respect it unless responsible countries, - like B r i t a i n , agree not to r u s h i n t o s u c h a s i t u a t i o n a n d s o r t it o u t themselves. C o u l d n ' t the F a l k l a n d e r s have suffered the presence of the A r g e n t i n i a n troops for a c o u p l e of m o n t h s w h i l e negotiations were i n progress? Surely it w o u l d be less i n c o n venient for them t h a n a war? M e a n w h i l e , sanctions c o u l d be imposed; we already had substantial b a c k i n g from a n u m b e r of c o u n t r i e s . S o , maybe there w o u l d be c o u n tries that broke the sanctions, like the U S S R , but if we also agreed to penalise them then a decision by the U N w o u l d be more ellective. A s the Pope has said, while in B r i t a i n , war is no longer a sensible or v i a b l e way of settling international disputes; he must be right, unless he's a Bennite.
FELIX, June 4, 1982
Dear
Sir
W h a t arrogant hypocrites some people are! F o r M r Pettit's i n f o r m a t i o n , the B r i t i s h a r e not a r a c e apart, a n d there can be few countries that we don't share b l o o d w i t h by now. T h e Argies don't come from outerspace, a n d are humans too. T h i s may surprise M r R e i d , w h o does not sound such a 'nice g u y " himself anyway. I notice that none of them offered to die themselves — l a c k of 'guts' perhaps? I f being patriotic means p u t t i n g the value of h u m a n life below that of h u m a n greed, then the less patriots there are, the better. W e a l l have to live in t h i s w o r l d — i t b e l o n g s to everyone, not just the British. T o start a w a r may take ' g u t s ' , b u t to p r e v e n t one takes more t h a n t h a t — c l e a r sight and understanding, lack of a r r o g a n c e , g r e e d a n d selfishness, a n d a willingness to share the w o r l d w i t h other people. B r i t a i n does not have an a u t o m a t i c ( M a m m o n — g i v e n ? ) r i g h t to r u l e t h e w o r l d — w e are here on the same terms as everyone else. T h e U N a r e n o t at a l l convinced about Britain's ' r i g h t ' to t h e F a l k l a n d s a n y w a y . T h e British a b a n doned the F a l k l a n d s in 1774, as 'not w o r t h defending', a n d then the S p a n i s h (from w h o m we h a d t a k e n t h e m ) u s e d them as a penal colony. After A r g e n t i n a became independent from S p a i n , they c l a i m e d them, i n 1828. B r i t a i n re-took them in 1833—an act w h i c h the Argies have always c o m p l a i n e d about. W h i c h side was r i g h t w i l l p r o b a b l y never be discovered, but they are certainly as bad as each other. T h e U N has always told B r i t a i n to discuss it w i t h the Argies, a n d B r i t a i n has always refused—not a very good basis for antisism, is it, M r Holt? T h e Argies copied our o w n methods exactly, even using British ships a n d guns. T h e patriots should, logically, be pleased at such disgustingly British actions. T h i s " e v e r y t h i n g we do is right, but if you do it it is w r o n g " attitude sounds like "some men are more equal than others".
sincerely
If it is w r o n g for the Argies to do it, it was w r o n g w h e n we
Graeme Shaw
Continued on page 4.
Tours
T o p job for Piggy! Dr Bryan Levitt, Director of Undergraduate Studies in Chemistry department, was elected as Mayor of the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea last Thursday. Dr Levitt, affectionately known as "Piggy" by the staff and students in Chemistry has been a Tory councillor for some years and has lived in the borough since 1962. He is currently chairman of the Health and Housing Committee and was put forward by his party, who hold a majority on the council.
What goes up. It has been c o n f i r m e d that the partition
i n the U n i o n
Lower
It is i n t e n d e d to have a range of f u r n i t u r e a l o n g the l e n g t h of
L o u n g e w i l l be d e m o l i s h e d w h e n
the
the
e a t i n g surfaces at the s e r v i n g e n d
Union
L o w e r Refectory
is
Lounge,
changing
from
m o v e d to the L o w e r L o u n g e over
to b a r f u r n i t u r e at the other. It is
the s u m m e r v a c a t i o n .
estimate d
that o n l y
fifty
o r so
A s e r v i n g area is to be b u i l t at
people w i l l be able to eat at a n y
the a m u s e m e n t m a c h i n e e n d of
one t i m e , b u t this is considered
the L o w e r L o u n g e (consisting o f
sufficient.
the heated trays a n d s e r v i n g area currently
used
i n the L o w e r
T h e sealing of the doors to the
Refectory)
a n d the entrances to
c e n t r a l staircase w i l l m a k e the
the L o u n g e
Bull
terrier
A T E N MONTH old English bull terrier Hed ' J a s p e r ' has gone M an—
Lounge
more
of a r o o m ,
with
staircase sealed to prevent use of
o n l y one entrance at the b a r e n d .
the e a t i n g area as a thoroughfare.
T h e p a r t i t i o n w i l l be r e m o v e d by
New
workmen, although several
k i t c h e n facilities w i l l
built
goes missing
from the c e n t r a l
in the o l d
be
cloakroom
people
have already
offered
beneath the c e n t r a l staircase a n d
donations
a w a s h i n g u p area created at one
pleasure of s t r i k i n g the first b l o w .
to c h a r i t y for t h e
e n d o f the U n i o n B a r store.
fence and when returned the dog mysteriously
Dear
Kensington News & Post, Friday, May 28
the face of this r e a c t i o n , from
Mark
Mr
M o r t o n is t h e
person
to
have
knowledge my
only
professed
of the reason
r e s i g n a t i o n as
for
Deputy
someone and
Calling Cards
Whereas
I w o u l d like to be able to say that
Last week details were finalised for the replacement of u p to ten c o n v e n t i o n a l p a y p h o n c s by the n e w C a r d p h o n e system telephones at var iou s sites a r o u n d the c a m p u s . T h i s is believed to be the first such i n s t a l l a t i o n o n p r i v a t e p r o p e r t y , since u p to n o w the system has o n l y been a v a i l a b l e i n R a i l w a y stations a n d other p u b l i c sites. T h e i n s t a l l a t i o n w o u l d p r o b a b l y c o m m e n c e i n O c t o b e r o f this year, subject to the legendary lethargy of B r i t i s h T e l e c o m ( B T ) engineers. T h e agreement for the r e p l a c e m e n t , reached between B T representatives a n d a C o l l e g e n e g o t i a t i n g t e a m composed of C a p t a i n L i n d l e y , C o l l e g e Secretary J o h n S m i t h a n d C o l l e g e T e l e p h o n e M a n a g e r Peter B u r r i d g e , follows r e p o r t e d l y extensive abuse o f the c o n v e n t i o n a l telephones. A l l e g e d l y these have been used o n m a n y occasions for transferred charge l o n g distance calls, a n d a r c subject to m e c h a n i c a l t a m p e r i n g . T h e r e m a i n i n g c o n v e n t i o n a l phones w i l l soon be strengthened to c o m b a t the latter p r o b l e m , however. T h e n e w system relies o n plastic cards w h i c h are laser-etched to i n d i c a t e the c o n s u m p t i o n of charge units. W h e n a c a r d is exhausted it can s i m p l y be t h r o w n a w a y a n d a new one p u r c h a s e d . A d d i l o n a l l y . the m i c r o p r o c e s s o r - c o n t r o l l e d c a r d p h o n e s send a h i g h frequency tone to t h e m , unless a c a r d is inserted. T h e cards w o u l d be sold at v a r i o u s sites, p r o b a b l y I C Bookshop a n d the S o u th s i de S h o p . E a c h c a r d sold w o u l d give the C o l l e g e I0"<> profit, but because the r e n t a l for the c a r d p h o n e s w i l l be c o n s i d e r a b l y higher t h a n for c o n v e n t i o n a l phones, m a n y cards w o u l d have to he sold to defray the e x t r a expense.
I'd
been
honest
and
whom
I
was
what
with
preserving
h o n o u r etc., I h a d to go. I have been d i s a p p o i n t e d at
President, but i n fact he has no such k n o w l e d g e .
with
supposed to c o n t i n u e w o r k i n g ,
the
recent
references Have
petty
vindictive
to me i n F E L I X .
people
forgotten
that
resigned because I d i d not like
I've c o n t r i b u t e d to life at I C
the j o b o r because I c o u l d get
over
m o r e m o n e y elsewhere, I d i d
t h i n k not. T h e r e are just some
in
w h o care jealous of the fact
fact,
resign
principal:
I
was
purely
on
apparently
the
last three years?
I
that I h a d the courage of m y
responsible for a shortfall i n
c o n v i c t i o n s a n d left. I ' m sorry,
U n i o n i n c o m e of ÂŁ3,000.
if
On
r e s i g n i ng I was expect-
I have
readers
let
down.
you
or
your
It
was
with
i n g to be asked to reconsider,
great regret that I m a d e this
on the grounds of e v e r y t h i n g
decision.
I've done for I C U i n the past, and
that it was not e n t i r e l y
m y o w n fault that I was taken advantage
of
by
a
vending
I
wish
all who
I wish a l l w h o came to get d e g r e e s to
not h a p p e n . I h e a r d r u m o u r s
degrees.
had
left b e h i n d me (not the
only
one!)
Morton
had
asked
Mr
to ask me to r e c o n -
sider,
but
"You
don't
a l l he
said
have to do
was this
you know, B a r n e y . " W e l l , in
FELIX, June 4, 1982
care
k e e pi n g it together.
c o m p a n y , etc., etc. B u t it d i d that the i n q u o r a t e C o u n c i l I
still
about I C U the best of l u c k i n
get
the
best
of
A s for me, w e l l , I've still got Jill
a n d one
Thanks
for
or two friends. a splendid
3 / 3
4
years at I C . Tours
sincerely
Barney M c C a b e Former D P , IC
Union
Page 3
get
is n o w a y to 'solve* a n y t h i n g ,
It
killed, it is sheer hypocrisy for
a n d y o u ca n ' t be a C h r i s t i a n
request
people w h o support the w a r
a n d a patriot. It's y o u r choice.
students
the
Letters
warmongers
who
to pretend s y m p a t h y for the
Tours-
relatives o f m e n they sent to
Continued from page 2.
their deaths. d i d , a n d we w o u l d have
no
'rights' in F a l k l a n d , G i b r a l t a r ,
human
How
lives does
Mr
think it is w o r t h
Fiona S i n c l a i r
Pettit
next
R e R a g Charities ( F E L I X ,
I r e l a n d , etc., at a l l — o r if we
T h e r e will be no peace i n
have, then they must be right
the w o r l d w h i l e greedy p a t r i -
615,
also. Y o u c a n ' t have it both
ots are i n it. People must learn
the
ways.
no
that all people are people (yes
meeting o n
British l i v i n g there w h e n we
they are, M r Pettit). T h e y are
20, was this subject. S i n c e we
i n v a d e d , so y o u c a n ' t use that
not here to be killed, but to be
are u n l i k e l y to get the licences
excuse either). T h e Argies
lived with.
that
(And
there
were
treated the F a l k l a n d e r s a lot better
than
the
British
treated indigenous
popu-
lations. Most
F a l k l a n d e r s live
in
of
forward
and
for suggestions
year's
for
R a g emblem
small prize may
be
(a
forth-
Rag
Committee
Thursday,
May
idea.)
Rag
Committee
lie c o n t a c t e d
can
v i a the letter-
rack i n the U n i o n Office. Observers
are
allowed
to
any meeting o f any committee
have been used i n the
(unless a m o t i o n is passed at the m e e t i n g that it s h o u l d be
against a n o t h e r , but mindless
year to find out w h i c h charities
a
patriots
are collecting o n w h i c h d a y
d i s c u s s i n g s e n s i t i v e issues).
t r u t h . Y o u c a n choose between
and
collecting
T h e best ways o f finding out
the
licences f r o m these charities
w h e n a m e e t i n g is to o c c u r are
a n d donate the collection to
to look at the bookings book
one
against
greed
or A r g e n t i n i a n c o m p a n i e s .
higher
T h e y have to leave the island
peace,
when
humanity,
the
names
put
past, it w i l l be necessary next
is n o t
which
retire a n d
a to
country
War
tied cottages o w n e d by British
they
the be
that made
c o m i n g for the best d r a w i n g /
letters).
O n e item o n the a g e n d a o f large
for
be
(with reasons for their p r o p o sal)
Mark
suggested
should
charities to
many
anyway?
was
reason
and
arrogance
is patriotism, things of truth, etc.
and
or
the
life—e.g.
life,
God,
make
your
obtain
street
them.
session,
e.g.
when
i n the U n i o n O f f i c e o r ask. a
In R a g W e e k a n d for events that
closed
do not
o f the
committee
street
c o n c e r n e d o r send a note to
sale o f R a g
the g r o u p c o n c e r n e d v i a the
involve
c h i l d r e n have to leave at 15,
o w n c h o i c e — d o n ' t let anyone
collections
when
system
m a k e it for y o u — B U T m a k e
Mags,
ends. T h e i r j o b s are a l l they
sure y o u k n o w b o t h sides first,
d e c i d e d that various charities
I hope that this i n f o r m a t i o n
have
Maggie
or y o u will be stuck w i t h y o u r
w o u l d be collected for, one o f
w i l l h a v e been o f some use to
doesn't give a d a m n about the
choice. I a m not patriotic, but
which
wishes (or jobs) o f the British,
I a m a C h r i s t i a n , a n d serve a
National Deaf Children's
you
brain-
higher power t h a n myself. It
Society ( r e d u c i n g the d o n a t i o n
M a r y Freeman
cares
is not possible to serve G o d
we make rather t h a n ceasing
P S : I o n l y f o u n d out w h e n
not
a n d M a m m o n a n d this c o u n -
help entirely) the point b e i n g
the m e e t i n g was
try l o n g ago chose M a m m o n .
made
because someone i n m y year
H u m a n lives are worth m o r e
£ 5 0 0 does
t h a n islands, really. It is often
difference to the q u a l i t y oflife
that
o f a d e a f c h i l d as it w o u l d d o
the to
education lose.
As
have to be very
washed about
to believe she theirs.
She
is
c a p a b l e o f it. Whenever
there is a w a r ,
people
( o n b o t h sides)
killed.
(This
is w h y
shouldn't happen.)
It
get wars
is not
Small Ads • A i l w o o d Donnay tennis racket, light/M5, brand new (almost), £35. C o n t a c t D. F i o r o n i t h r o u g h LS1 letterbox. • S q u a s h rackets: Classic 003, £12ea. D.V. M o l e s w o r t h , 3 7 0 - 1 8 1 7 , R S M letter-racks or Sports Centre Squash Club noticeboard. • V W , G reg, 12mth MoT, motor reconditioned, low mileage, body in v. good condition, only £300. F. Rashidi, Rm E517, C h e m Eng dept, int 3818. • B l a c k a n d w h i t e 12" T V , N E C p o r t a b l e , as new, a n d still u n d e r guarantee, £45ono. Contact L. Batty, C h e m Eng 3. • B i c y c l e , 5spd, 27" Rapide, good in parts but needs attention, £40ono. Contact L. Batty, Chem Eng 3. •Learning French? Linguaphone set (as new) g o i n g at half price o n o . Contact Colin Crawford, D o C 2 letterrack (Huxley 347). • R o l l i n g Stones, Wembley Stadium, Fri June 25, two tickets. Contact Colin Crawford, D o C 2 letter-racks (Huxley R347). • F i v e students wanted for 'clerical work' (filling envelopes). £14 one day. T h u r s d a y , J u n e 10. C o n t a c t S u e , Student Services. • S h a r e d room for female (double) available in a g r o u p of 6, 1982/3, Lexham Gdns. Contact L. Millard, LS1. • L o s t : One well worn Ram. If found contact L. Stephenson, Chem 3. • W o m a n wanted: apply Tizard 637. Preferably on the pill, Durex will be used if necessary. Women requiring the use of two Durex need not apply.
Page 4
I agree with the P o p e ,
but this time he is r i g h t — w a r
(e.g.
member
Rag
Fete)
it
was
will p r o b a b l y be
at
the m e e t i n g
the
that
not m a k e such a
U n i o n Office.
G r a e m e Shaw a n d others.
lours informatively
to be h e l d
was asked to a t t e n d .
to a c h i l d i n say, A f r i c a .
•Morris Traveller D reg, new woodwork, gearbox, reconditioned engine, M O T , taxed until August, good offers. Tel 455-3945. • H o n d a CG125, S reg, immaculate, only 6,000 miles, full MoT, top box, 100mpg, bargain at £230. Contact Andy Cripwell, Mech Eng letter-racks or Beit Rm 103. • S u z u k i GP125, 3yrs old, 1yr MoT, £200ono. Contact Karen Scriuener, int 3434. • L a d i e s bike, £30ono. Tel 741-3413. • C o l o u r T V , 23" t u b e , 1yr o l d , £80ono. Call Cesar, int 2027. • S q u a s h rackets 'Classic 003', £12ea. D.V. Molesworth, RSM letter-racks, Squash Club noticeboard or 370-1817. • A s h cue 2 piece, wood join, perfect, C Q (professional) model, excellent feel, £ 2 0 . 0 0 i n c l u d i n g case. David Yung, MSc Management Science or 636-0556. •Wanted: Two people to share a room in a flat for four. Bayswater area. A v a i l a b l e from J u l y 1 for 1982/3 session. Phone 723-4679 (ask for flat 15) after 5:30pm. •Wanted: Two people to share room in flat for seven in Hamlet Gdns next session. Angela Fitzpatrick, Civ Eng 2. •Flatshare: 1 student m/f required to share flat with PG at 21 Cornwall Gdns. Own room, share bath, kitchen and lounge. £115pm. Call Male 9373491 (eves) or contact Mike S e e , Chem Eng P G . • A n d finally. To Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Tony, Tony, Toni, Steve, Steve, Mike, Mike, Maggie, Ann, Cathy, Mark, Chris, Paul, Brian, Simon, Maz, Ian, Mrs P and Prof L, my eternal gratitude. The outgoing wide-mouthed frog. • C h u b b y Chops: How long will it take to grow—baldy. • N i c k (P) is well again—so cut the wisecracks boys!
FEUX, June 4, 1982
DESHOP
Opposite Soolhside II Main Entrance Groceries, Sportswear, IC Regalia are on sale. Opening Hours Man-Thnrs 8-30 -2-30 3-30- 6-00 Fri 18-30-2-30 4-30-6 00 I Sat • 8-30 -2-30 3-30 - 6-00
Southside Shop
Not the DP's bit Lower Lounge/Lower Refectory Following C o u n c i l ' s agreement, the scheme to provide a n e w catering outlet in the L o w e r L o u n g e will take place over the s u m m e r . T h e i n t e n t i o n is to b u i l d a s e r v e r y at t h e a m u s e m e n t m a c h i n e s e n d of t h e L o u n g e serviced b y a small k i t c h e n (to be installed where the o l d c l o a k r o o m is now). T h e r o o m will graduate from refectory type furnishings to a b a r area at the other end. T h e access to the central staircase will be closed a n d yes the partition will be removed! A l l club and society property will have to be r e m o v e d from the o l d c l o a k r o o m a n d a n alternative storage area provided . I w o u l d be grateful for co-operation from the clubs involved in moving everything towards the e n d of the t e r m .
Proposals for Union move to Southside I a m presently analysing the exchange a n d provision of space suggested by the initial set of p l a n s . I w o u l d w e l c o m e c o n s t r u c t i v e criticism a n d interest from clubs a n d societies, there are sets of plans available in the U n i o n Office. I must stress that everything is at a discussion stage. W h e n costings have been made, then we will be able t o start to consider w h e t h e r t h e p r o p o s a l is a d v a n t a g e o u s o r whether we a r e in danger of becoming p r o u d owners of a basement aircraft hanger.
C L U B S
Increased publicity a n d the sportswear sale have helped the turnover of the shop this term. W e w i l l be i n t r o d u c i n g a l a r g e r r a n g e of sportswear, a new range of clothing (including T-shirts with the I C crest in a small breast logo version) a n d films, before the e n d of t e r m . G a m e s Machines W e n o w have a full complement and these are surviving well except for the quantities of beer seeping into the pinball tables due to people placing d r i n k s o n t o p . Please don't!
D P ' s Committees T h e dates of the joint committees chaired b y the D e p u t y President are: H o u s e C o m m i t t e e , T u e s J u n e 8, 12:45, U n i o n Office. U n i o n F i n a n c e C o m m i t t e e , Friday J u n e 11, 6:00, L o w e r Refectory. Internal Services, M o n d a y J u n e 14, 12:45, U n i o n Office. S o those c o n c e r n e d will have no excuse for not coming.
or the Hon See's hit T h e following timetable w a s d r a w n up for F r e s h e r s ' W e e k at a joint meeting of all the Ents C o m m i t t e e s a n d the E x e c - E l e c t . S u n d a y : H a l l / H o u s e events. Monday: am Freshers' Reception and departmental introductions; 2:30pm C C U
U G M s ; 6:00pm M i n e s go ice skating; eve N e w Y e a r ' s P a r t y , U n i o n Building. Tuesday: p m F r e s h e r s ' Fair; eve H a l l / C l u b events (details required please, if possible). Wednesday: pm S p o r t s ; eve G u i l d s entertainments, R C SPub Crawl, Mines Barnight. T h u r s d a y : 1:00pm I C U U G M , G r e a t H a l l , eve E n t s big film double bill, M i n e s P u b C r a w l . Friday: eve Barbeque a n d m e d i u m size band. S a t u r d a y : am T i d d l y w i n k s ; p m S p o r t s (trials, etc.); eve Rugby C l u b s J C R Party. S u n d a y : G u i l d s P u b Crawl; R C S Barnight. G u i l d s Barnight will be o n F r i d a y , D e c e m b e r 15. It is u p to all groups whether they choose to follow this, b u t if they c h o o s e otherwise then tough cheese if their attendances prove to be low! Likewise events for the I C C a l e n d a r . W i t h hindsight I realise I should have pressurised C C U H o n S e c s - El e ct for dates of major events last t e r m rather than this (future H o n Sees please note) so 1 c a n d o nothing if clashes already exist. I hope to have a full list by the e n d of this t e r m , however, a n d so events arranged after then should be made after consultation of the C a l e n d a r . M a n y thanks to Ind S o c , W e l l s o c a n d S F S o c for their prompt response to m y request for a list of events for next t e r m . Mary Freeman ICU Hon Sec-Elect
A N D S O C I E T I E S '
Guilds Motor
Industrial Design Engineering PG Course
Labour
T h e pioneering students of this new course will be exhibiting at the R o y a l College of A r t ' s Degree S h o w from J u n e 11 to 20. This new a n d unique postgraduate course is organised jointly by the R o y a l College of A r t ' s S c h o o l of Industrial Design and Imperial College. It is designed to bridge, at high level, the gap that exists between the design Captain: Chris Millard, ME2 a n d engineering professions. T h e course c a n lead to the M a s t e r of Design Hon Sec: Steve Nixon, ME1 ( M D e s ) a w a r d of the R o y a l C o l l e g e a n d also t o the D i p l o m a of Imperial Hon Treasurer: Will Stevenson, College ( D I C ) . CE2 C a n d i d a t e s must possess a degree i n engineering (or its equivalent), Competition Sec: Keith Rossiter, normally at 2.2 or higher grade. T h o s e with industrial experience are ME3 particularly welcome. Evidence of creative a n d visual potential is also Crank Editor: Paul Jolliffe, ME2 sought. A high level of motivation is essential. Kart Section Leader: Bill Gayler, T h e c o u r s e is based o n practical projectwork, supplemented by ME3 lectures in a wide range of design, engineering, management a n d cultural Scalextric Section Leader: Grant subjects. A f t e r initial visual design training, the industrial design Savill, ME1 engineering students are integrated within R C A ' s S c h o o l of Industrial Design. T h i s has p r o v e d t o be of mutual benefit. T h e visually exciting and T h e election of the A s s o c i a t e W h a t c a n I say? T h i s c o l u m n has a creative environment of the R o y a l College, a n d the generous practical M e m b e r s Representative will take reputation for being very silly. In help received from the m o r e experienced industrial design students has place o n T h u r s d a y , J u n e 10 at r e c e n t w e e k s h o w e v e r w o r l d been of great value t o the engineer. A t the same time the engineers' 7:30pm in M E 5 6 9 (after the Joint events have o v e r t a k e n it a n d it c o m b i n a t i o n of s e l f - d i s c i p l i n e , s t a m i n a a n d s e a r c h i n g o b j e c t i v e C o m m i t t e e Meeting). Final year has b e c o m e very h a r d to be sillier questioning has h a d a beneficial influence o n the S c h o o l a n d College. students a n d associate members than reality. Margaret T h a t c h e r (contirfued next year) are eligible to vote. First Y e a r project-work is oriented towards industrial design. In their s e c o n d year the I D E n g students are encouraged to undertake a major project with a substantia] engineering content a n d a 'design-make a n d test' element, a n d so b e c o m e eligable for I C S T ' s D I C a w a r d . I D E n g students are provided with studio a n d m o d e l / p r o t o t y p e mak i n g facilities at the R C A , a n d test facilities, study space a n d more specialised prototype facilities at Imperial College. Students are free to follow their o w n line of development. S o m e b e c o m e oriented more towards industrial design, some m o r e towards engineering, others towards management. In s o m e cases the students need m o r e time to develop their full potential in aesthetic design but the D o y o u notice anything different about this I C R a d i o article? If not, y o u overall quality a n d depth of their w o r k is very satisfactory indeed. ought t o , because that's a b r a n d new logo at the top. W e ' v e retained the Despite the pressures of this relatively intensive course the students are almost-legendary crocodile, but changed the shape of the w o r d i n g so that active in S c h o o l a n d College affairs, cultural events a n d the R C A ' s it's a bit m o r e eye-catching. D e s i g n for S o c i a l N e e d programme. It is generally agreed that this course T h e longest radio programme in the world? is attracting very high quality students. T h i s w e e k e n d o n I C R a d i o , J a s p e r will be challenging the r e c o r d for the T h i s year's I D E n g Degree S h o w exhibits are expected t o include: longest c o n t i n u o us radio broadcast, w h i c h currently stands at 48 hours D e v e l o p m e n t s i n concrete frame machine tool design, a n d domestic 30 minutes. It all starts o n F r i d a y evening, and he'll be playing the sort of space heater (Sweeney); D o m e s t i c sewing terminal embodying radical music t o revise t o continually until late o n S u n d a y night. S o tune in o n new principles (Tarn); M o b i l e X - r a y machine for hospital use (Lowe); W i r e rigging cutter with one-handed operation for emergency use o n 301m t o s o m e of the m a r a t h o n program if y o u c a n . dismasted yachts, a n d music stand (commissioned) (Douglas). P S : Y e s , we have got copyright o n the new logo! T h e A n n u a l G e n e r a l M e e t i n g of C i t y a n d G u i l d s College M o t o r C l u b w a s h e l d o n M a y 17 i n M E 7 5 0 . T h e officers elected were:
Despite the fact that most other societies have g r o u n d to a halt, the L a b o u r C l u b carries o n . O n T u e s d a y , S t u a r t H o l l a n d M P will be s p e a k i n g at 1 : 0 0 p m i n t h e Union Upper Lounge. D r Holland was one of the L a b o u r rebels w h o voted against the G o v e r n m e n t o n the Falklands issue so c o m e along, it should be very interesting.
SF Soc
IMPERIAL^ COLLEGE
RADIO
FELIX, June 4, 1982
Page 5
Polyester Certificate X Directed by John Waters Starring Divine, Edith Massey, Tab Hunter. B a d taste films acquire a bad smell in this, the latest w o r k of t r a s h king J o h n W a t e r s . S t a r r i n g o n c e m o r e at the head of a team of wonderfully b a d actors is obese transvestite D i v i n e a n d the m a r v e l l o u s l y u n t a l e n t e d E d i t h M a s s e y (a personal favourite). In Polyester M r W a t e r s h a s t a k e n t h e carefree w o r l d of m o d e r n A m e r i c a n housewives a n d t u r n e d it upside d o w n . F r o m the o p e n i n g s h o t of a q u i e t s u b u r b a n h o u s e , followed by the i m m e n s e f o r m of Divine (as F r a n c i n e F i s h p a w ) rolling out of b e d , it is obvious that the bad taste has been g l a m o r i z e d a little. U n l i k e W a t e r s ' p r e v i o u s efforts ( w h i c h include the incredible Pink Flamingos) we are treated to a fairly c o m m e r c i a l p a c k a g e , including the g i m m i c k of O d o r a m a . T h i s isn't the first time a "scratch'n'sniff" c a r d has b e e n s u p p l i e d with a f i l m , — b u t it is certainly novel a n d w o r k s very well. F r a n c i n e F i s h p a w is a n o r m a l A m e r i c a n girl apart from her e x t r a sensitive sense of smell. A s we follow the antics of F r a n c i n e , her p o r n - k i n g h u s b a n d a n d her e x t r a o r d i n a r y family, n u m b e r s flash up o n the screen to signal a start to feverish s c r a t c h i n g at correlating patches o n y o u r c a r d . T h e o d o u r s are not always pleasant, but the mixture of anticipation a n d participation was s o e n t e r t a i n i n g t h a t it s u c c e s s f u l l y d r e w attention away from flaws in the actual film. A s I have s a i d , W a t e r s has gone for a n upm a r k e t , t o n e d d o w n v e r s i o n of his previous b a d taste e x t r a v a g a n z a s . In the p r o c e s s he still manages t o include a teenage disco maniac daughter, a foot fetishist s o n , a millionairess
w h o was formerly F r a n c i n e ' s cleaner (played by the ever delightful E d i t h M a s s e y ) a n d a sex m a d secretary. F r a n c i n e is deserted by her h u s b a n d (in favour of the secretary) a n d she turns to drink. H e r daughter gets pregnant a n d is t a k e n away by c r u e l n u n s , while her s o n is arrested as the " B a l t i m o r e footstomper". After her w o r l d falls apart, F r a n c i n e starts to pick up the pieces w h e n she meets the all A m e r i c a n heart-throb (Tab H u n t e r ) but things s o o n turn tragically wrong.
Page 6
Mark Smith
m e n (and h e n c e necessarily in marriage), and the capacity of a m a r r i e d couple to 'reflect' their spiritual or divine nature (the resulting c o m b i n e d reflection being m u c h brighter than the s u m of their respective parts), is superbly c o m p l e m e n t e d in the stage designs consisting of r e f l e c t i v e p a n e l s b a t h i n g i n r e c e d i n g perspectives of lines.
The Jeweller's Shop by Pope John Paul II. Directed by Robin Phillips, Westminster Theatre. T h e Jeweller's S h o p was written by K a r o l W o j t y l a in 1960 w h e n he w a s B i s h o p of K r a k o w . It is one of half a d o z e n plays a n d is a lyrical reflection o n love a n d marriage. T h e play is indebted to the author's poetry, a n d to his past experience as co-founder a n d actor of an unusual theatre group d u r i n g W o r l d W a r II, the R h a p s o d i c T h e a t r e . T h e three acts of the play deal with three couples w h o se life stories are inter-twined. T h e two central c h a r a c t e r s in A c t 3 are the c h i l d r e n of the c o u p l e s in the preceding two acts. T h e parts are s u p p o r t e d b y an unusually s t r o n g cast including H a n n a h G o r d o n , Lalla W a r d , Paul D a n e m a n , C h r i s t o p h e r B l a k e and J o h n C a r s o n . T h e unifying t h r e a d r u n n i n g through the three acts is a jeweller's shop, in whose w i n d o w the c o u p l e s see their marital future reflected. T h e jeweller is a mysterious god-like figure w h o se scales weigh not the physical mass of w eddin g rings but their spiritual quality whether of the past, present or future. T h e author's s t r o n g sense of destiny in the affairs of
P o l y e s t e r m a y not be a great a r t i s t i c achievement, but it certainly entertained the audience a n d man age d to invert many of my values. T h e r e is n o r o m a n c e a n d beauty—just cruelty, ugliness a n d s o m e violence. B u t by the e n d of the film the b a d taste b e c a m e terribly c a t c h y a n d what J o h n W a t e r s wanted to say was gradually b e c o m i n g clearer. If y o u lik ed any of W a t e r s ' other films then y o u will certainly enjoy this. If you've never seen one, w h y n o t — i t c o u l d be w o r t h the risk.
Hannah Gordon (Theresa) in a scene from Pope John Paul's play The Jeweller's Shop at the Westminster Theatre.
FELIX, June 4, 1982
C o n t r a r y to what one might e x p e c t of a bishop's play W o j t y l a approaches his theme without d o g m a t i s m or sermonizing. N e v e r t h e less, the question that one must inevitably ask oneself is this: if the a u t h o r w e r e not as celebrated as he is, w o u l d his play be staged? T h e answer is most definitely 'no'. M u c h of the play consists of monologues, a n d the general lack of a c t i o n m a k e s the w o r k thoroughly untheatrical. It w o u l d be m u c h better suited for radio presentation or preferably still, in b o o k f o r m. T h e play may well appear to be baffling, self-indulgent or wandering to people u n f a m i l i a r w i t h t h e P o p e a n d w h a t he represents, but it is the sort of w o r k w h i c h certainly deserves quiet, u n h u r r i e d meditation. H o w e v e r , the play at the W e s t m i n s t e r Theatre will probably d r a w c r o w d s for s o m e time to c o m e because of its very high curiosity value a n d the o p p o r t u n i t y afforded of glimpsing the p s y c h e of t h e w o r l d ' s m o s t c h a r i s m a t i c individual. Nick Bedding
merenke J
by J e a n
Cricket
Racim
Berenice by Racine. Directed by Christopher Fettes. Lyric Studio, Hammersmith. It's exactly a year since C h r i s t o p h e r Fettes s h o w e d that classical F r e n c h d r a m a c o u l d be made accessible to English audiences with his vivid p r o d u c t i o n of Racine's Britannicus at the Lyric Studio, Hammersmith. T h e plot of Berenice is of classical simplicity. A n t i o c h u s , a K i n g , loves Ber en ic e, Q u e e n of Palestine, w h o in her o w n turn'loves the newly anointed E m p e r o r Titus. T h e parts are played respectively b y Peter E y r e , Sheila G i s h and M a r t y n Stanbridge. But because the R o m a n laws forbid the E m p e r o r to m a r r y a foreigner, T i t u s smothers his helpless love for the Q u e e n in favour of his duty t o the state. A t the play's end, the three depart from each other, regretfully and tragically. Racine wrote his play to be performed in full L o u i s X I V rig, with trocade coats, ceremonial armour a n dsumptuous dresses. T h e p r o d u c t i o n at the L y r i c , however, is in m o d e r n dress with a simple but smart set. T h e play is formal a n d rhetorical but is i m b u e d with a n austere elegance. The passionate and e m o t i o n a l i n t e n s i t y of t h e p l a y is k e p t
Garfield Morgan and Martyn Stanbridge in a scene from Racine's Berenice, at the Lyric Studio, marvellously under rein b y the restrained, dignified rhetoric. T h e play's characters are prey to their passions, yet they can analyse their struggles in speech w h i c h dissects as clarly as a knife. T h e play is well w o r t h witnessing but you need to be in a relaxed, attentive m o o d to appreciate and enjoy it. Nick Bedding
n o t e s , i n d e x , a n d t h e g o o d s e l e c t i o n of photographs. But it's very readable, Prof C r i c k ' s done about as g o o d a job o n Orwell's biography as y o u c o u l d reasonably expect. T h e account of his life is fairly complete and detailed, including the chapters o n Orwell's c h i l d h o o d , a part of p e o p l e ' s lives that biographers tend to skip. T h e only serious fault of the b o o k is that too many speculations| about minor features of Orwell's life and w o r k w h i c h are hardly worth theories at all. (For example at the age of eighteen O r w e l l , or Eric Blair as he then was, bought a cage rat trap and C r i c k says " T h u s Blair brought the cage t h a t e v e n t u a l l y w a s t h r u s t at t h e f a c e of W i n s t o n S m i t h i n Nineteen Eighty Four). i
George Orwell A Life by Bernard Crick, Penguin £2.95 (paperback). This is an excellent b o o k . B e r n a r d C r i c k is a professor of politics and he writes pompously, but any b o o k about G e o r g e O r w e l l is almost d o o m e d to look w o r d y and t o o full of waffle because you'll inevitably c o m p a r e it with what O r w e l l himself might have written. T h e style of the b o o k is too longwinded ( T h e questions are not w h o l l y s e p e r a b l e ' , etc.) w h i c h partly explains the b o o k ' s length: five hundred and eighty pages, not c o u n t i n g ' the appendices,
The most important question about a biography of a writer is, does it give y o u a better understanding of his character than y o u c a n get from reading his o w n works? T h e answer for this book is definitely yes. Y o u c a n find out a lot about Orwell, in his o w n b o o k s a n d e s s a y s b u t h e r e a r e f e a t u r e s of h i s personality, particularly his attitude to w o m e n , that are brought out m u c h more clearly in this biography. T h e most unexpected part of the book is the description of Orwell's almost pitiful efforts to get some w o m a n to marry him after the death of his first wife. H e made clumsy proposals to w o m e n he hardly knew and wrote them embarrassing letters after they turned him d o w n . O f course this (and a lot of the rest of the book) is interesting partly because of the ordinary nosey pleasure of r e a d i n g o t h e r p e o p l e ' s l e t t e r s , b u t it is something of a revelation. It may even have been partly the reason why he a s k e d for n o b i o g r a p h y of himself to be w r i t t e n . C r i c k doesn't discuss this request at all, which seems a strange omission. • All in all the biography is good a n d readable, assuming you're interested in George O r w e l l at all. N. Willson FELIX, June 4, 1982
A m e r r y b a n d o f I C cricketers again- took to the N o r t h e r n L i n e , this time e n d i n g u p at C o l l i n d a l e . P h i l E a s t l a n d tore d o w n the h i l l a n d m a d e a good impression o f a fart i n a force ten. F o r t u n a t e l y B i l l H i n m e r s was t h r o w i n g the b a l l u p the h i l l . F o r once it t r a v e l l e d i n the c o r r e c t d i r e c t i o n — the reasons a p p e a r e d to be the s i m i l a r i t y to the v e l d i n l o n g lost Z i m b a b w e a n d the lack o f a n y d a r k e r s k i n n e d brothers. M a s h e r finished a useful spell w i t h a piece o f play a c t i n g that K e v i n K e e g a n w o u l d have been p r o u d of. T h e result b e i n g that the possible jug o f beer was not f o r t h c o m i n g . Before the e n s u i n g b a t t i n g collapse, the performances of P h i l Nicholls and Phil C r a w f o r d - S m i t h s h o u l d be m e n t i o n e d . A l t h o u g h both looked m e n a c i n g dressed i n white there was a tendency for knock-ons a n d attempts to c o n t r o l a n y f l y i n g object a n d boot it into t o u c h . P h i l N i c h o l l s also reported that F r a n k ' s rash persists t h r o u g h t h e s u m m e r months. T h e batters failed miserably as usual. The o n l y part success b e i n g ' P l u g ' H o b b s w h o , p l a y i n g w i t h h a l f a n ear, m a n a g e d to c o n t r i b u t e the most to the fines pot. W e w o n , it was a sunny day, V i l l a w o n , the fines pot d i d w e l l — w h o cares about quizes!
WBadminton B a d m i n t o n E n d o f Season R o u n d U p M e n s I ( U L D i v i s i o n 1) P l a y e d W o n Lost Points P o s i t i o n 10 ' 10 0 20 1st T e a m : T . L a i ( C a p t ) , C . Hufflet, S. W i l l i s , H . K . W o n g , I. B u l l , G . A d a m s o n , L . Y a p , S. Chaing, P. Smith. M e n s II ( U L D i v i s i o n 2) P l a y e d W o n Lost Points P o s i t i o n 10 6 4 12 3rd T e a m : P. Smith (Capt), C . M a l l a b a n d , D . Marshall, N . Langford, P. Godd, N g , M . Ross. N . C a m p b e l l . M e n s III ( U L D i v i s i o n 3) P l a y e d W o n Lost Points P o s i t i o n 8 7 1 14 1st T e a m : N . C a m p b e l l ( C a p t ) , M . Ross, T . H e l s b y , J . M a c l e o d , J . Scott, P . G a d d . Ladies P l a y e d W o n Lost Points P o s i t i o n 6 3 3 6 4th T e a m : B . Ions ( C a p t ) , L . H o r r o c k s , A . M i t c h e l l , S. R i d d , K . F r a s e r J . M a c l l r a t h , A . Killick. M i x e d I (UL Division) P l a y e d W o n Lost Points P o s i t i o n 6 4 2 8 1st T e a m : C . Hufflet, S. W i l l i s , H . K . W o n g , A . M i t c h e l l , L . H o r r o c k s , B. Ions. A s w e l l as w i n n i n g three leagues out o f five we were r u n n e r s - u p i n the U L K n o c k - O u t C o m p e t i t i o n . A l l i n a l l a very successful season, w e l l done to everyone w h o p l a y e d . Page 7
in L o n d o n as well as a list of " t r e a s u r e " items to collect. E x a m p l e s of previous questions c a n be seen in the F E L I X Office. Fu r th er details o n request—entries d o not close until 9:00am o n the day when people gather for the start at the F E L I X Office.
FELIX Bound Editions
The Penultimate Issue! T h e next issue of F E L I X , m y last, will be o n F r i d a y , J u n e 1 8 . T h e d e a d l i n e f o r all contributions (including small ads) is 5:30pm, T u e s d a y , J u n e 8. T h i s issue will take a full two weeks to prepare, so I hope y o u don't all piss off home before it's published.
If by any chance y o u have the good taste to want a presentation set of this year's issues, they can be ordered from the office at a cost of a p p r o x i m a t e l y £14.50. F o r t h i s s u m y o u receive a beautiful leather bound set, tastefully embossed with your o w n name in gold. I have some full sets of copies or y o u c a n complete y o u r o w n collections if necessary.
Brief Mention T h e A C C A G M is at 6:30pm o n Tuesday, J u n e 15. A l s o M a r c o L e d w o l d tells me that a n y o n e c a n propose people for pots before Joint Council o n June 21.
FELIX Rally
Credits
W e ' v e still got r o o m for a few more teams to take part in the F E L I X M o t o r Rally o n S u n d a y , J u n e 20. C l u e s will be set for various locations
M a n y thanks for N i c k Bleach of I C Radio, Soheel, D a v i d , Peter, M a r t i n S., Steve, J e z and all the collators.
The Shape of FELIX To Come It is traditional for the Editor-elect to make a statement of intent, either at the time he is elected or in the last F E L I X before he takes over. I didn't write one last term, but the e n d of J u n e will be t o o late for the things I want to say, so here goes T h e style of a newspaper is the product of two factors: there is design, by w h i c h I mean layout, typeface a n d use of space generally; and there is content. W h e n Steve Marshall t o o k over as E d i t o r t w o years a g o he completely redesigned F E L I X to the present format. H e d i d an excellent job. I think M a r k w a s w i s e n o t t o a l t e r it a n d , a p a r t f r o m redesigning the letters page, I don't intend to either. But as far as the content of the newspaper goes there are several things I want to say and my reason for writing this statement of intent now rather than at the e n d of term is t o give y o u plenty of time t o comment o n m y plans before O c t o b e r w h e n it will be too late. T h e main point I want t o m a k e is that to be interesting, F E L I X must have support from its readers. O n e of the things that really annoys me is the number of students w h o ridicule 'another boring F E L I X this week' o n Friday morning, a n d then d o nothing for the rest of the week. C o n t r a r y to popular belief, F E L I X doesn't appear by magic a n d if the Editor isn't to spend all his time o n the technical side of things he needs the support and enthusiasm of (amongst others) photographers, cartoonists, r e p o r t e r s , c o l l a t o r s , feature w r i t e r s , news writers and people to think up witty headlines at six o'clock o n T h u r s d a y . More importantly, though, whenever anything newsworthy happens around College, we can't report it unless we k n o w about it first (strange but true!) a n d we're dependent on I C S t u d e and his lecturers and College staff to tell us. T h e reason we resort to space-filling news stories ("James D e e n y G o e s Swimming") is often because the interesting things w h i c h happen around College (and I'm certain that they do) never reach the F E L I X Office. T h e reason B . B . Wolffe's c o l u m n hasn't
appeared as regularly as we would like is that no one sells us the gossip w h i c h comes their way. If you want to see it in print, you've got to tell us about it. Pep-talk over, let me get o n to some specific p l a n s for n e x t y e a r . C l u b s a n d s o c i e t i e s articles (with one or two notable exceptions) are dull. S o many of them seem t o say ' X C l u b had a very interesting meeting last week. Professor Y gave a talk o n Z a n d next week such-and-such will take place.' N e x t year I'd like to replace these articles with an extended What's O n c o l u m n looking a little like the Radio T i m e s : lots of information a n d a short review of events with potentially wide public appeal (e.g.—dare I say i t — S T O I C transm i s s i o n s ) b u t a s i n g l e line ' r e m i n d e r ' f o r regular events which are unlikely to attract anyone but regular attenders anyway (e.g. D a n c i n g C l u b ) . O f course, if any club wants to write a long article or advertisement for a specific purpose (I k n o w D r a m s o c want to do this to plug auditions) they are very welcome, e s p e c i a l l y if t h e y c a n b a c k it u p w i t h photographs. B u t I do want to get r i d of articles w h i c h are written just because the society has a publicity officer whose job is to write articles for F E L I X . I'd like to have more humour in F E L I X next year, but this is likely to be difficult. Ridicule and cynicism are easy to produce but tend to pall after a while, whereas clever satire and parody are difficult to write consistently well. Still, in 7,000 students there must be a budding A l a n C o r e n somewhere, mustn't there? Cartoonists are always welcome, too, of course. S o a p b o x will continue to provide space for those w h o have something to say, a n d no doubt the letters page will provide space for t h o s e w h o d o n ' t . I n c i d e n t a l l y , if p o t e n t i a l S o a p b o x writers discuss their article with me before they write it, I'll be happy to offer a d v i c e o n h o w t o s t o p it l o o k i n g l i k e a n unappetising sea of grey print. T w o y e a r s ago F E L I X u s e d t o p r i n t a summary of the week's national news, and this is a feature I a m considering re-introducing. R e a c t i o n s of t h o s e I've a s k e d h a v e b e e n mixed; some think it valuable for those w h o have neither time nor inclination to read daily papers, some think otherwise—'If students can't be bothered to get informed, they don't deserve to be.' What do y o u think? Finally, regretfully, I have realised that next year is not going to allow me enough time to continue writing the S c a r a m o u c h e c o l u m n . I'm
mmwMffi Already people are expressing c o n c e r n at the lack of cooperation between next year's E x e c . A l t h o u g h all three members have opinions o n the important issues which will face the U n i o n next year, none has found out what the others feel or made his o w n views k n o w n ; indeed M a r y F r e e m a n s e e m s u n a w a r e of t h e existence Of the other E x e c members. T h e r e are two main decisions the U n i o n is facing next year; w h e t h e r to m o v e to Southside a n d whether to hold a refectory boycott. A s a public service, 1 have ascertained the views of o u r three leaders-elect a n d , to n o b o d y ' s great s u r p r i s e , they are not unanimously p r o or c o n either of the schemes, although n o one opposes both of them. If Steve knew all so far revealed, a n d also Phil's opinion o n the Southside move, he could deduce all of Phil's and M a r y ' s opinions. A n d if Phil knew all so far revealed, he could deduce M a r y ' s a n d Steve's opinions. S o what do they all think? Solutions, comment, criticisms to me at the FELIX Office, please. £5 (donated by Mend-aBike) for the correct solution randomly selected at 1:00pm next Wednesday. Last W e e k ' s Solution
A symmetric solution is shown in the diagram. N o t e that every grid line intersects exactly two dominoes; this is essential for the solution to work. K e e n mathematicians may like to work out why this is so, and extend the idea to show there c a n be no fault-free tiling of a 6x6 square. T h e prize was w o n by G . J . R i c k a r d , Plasma Physics P G , w h o was selected from thirty entrants. T o o many complaints about easy puzzles, so this week's is designed to make y o u think a bit. But the next issue of F E L I X will contain my last bow: some very easy puzzles, some of average difficulty—and all the puzzles I've been too merciful to set before. Prizes will be increased in proportion to the difficulty. Don't miss it. very keen to replace it with some sort of weekly puzzle or competition, though, so if you have any ideas a n d especially if you'd consider taking over as puzzles editor then get in t o u c h . I ' l l be h a p p y to c o n t r i b u t e occasionally, but a regular puzzle won't be possible. Lastly, let me echo my first paragraph: all this is still ideas and aspirations and the serious planning doesn't start until I take over o n July 1. Whatever ideas, plans, criticisms y o u have in mind, I'm in and around the F E L I X Office to discuss them most afternoons. But above all, tell me this term. I expect my plans to come in for some criticism, but if they're criticised n ow I c a n amend them appropriately. Criticism in O c t o b e r will be t o o late. Martin S. Taylor
FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB (589-5111 ext 1048 int 2881) Copyright FELIX
1982. Editor: M A Smith, Advertising
Manager: S M Giblin.