e
d
Inside •PARODY! M i n u s his b e a r d , but b a c k at last page 4
•PORTOBELLO A p e r s o n a l l o o k at t h e f a m o u s r o a d , its p e o p l e a n d the surroundings... page 5
•POLICE
BRUTALITY
A c a u s e for conern?
page 6
•APOCRYPHA Bath time tales . page 7
•ROBOTS A revolution?., . page 8
•REVIEWS Erotica, jazz, theatre, y o u n a m e it . . . p a g e 10
Claire Hamill
see page 11
Door fiasco
Phones fiasco A F A U L T I N the College telephone exchange this week a l l o w e d students to make national and international calls from the Southside staircase telephones—free of charge.
Students made calls, thought to have cost thousands of pounds, to the United States of America, Australasia and the Far East, before the fault was discovered. The Southside exchange was then disconnected, until British Telecom engineers could trace the error in the exchange program. It was re-connected soon after BT engineers left, but almost immediately started to allow free calls again. As a consequence of the Southside fault, all College telephones have been able to make national and international calls, 24-hours a day, by routing such calls through the Southside exchange. It is not clear, though, if calls so routed will appear on the monthly telephone bill.
Finance fiasco T H E U N I O N Finance Committee met yesterday to decide how to distribute a £28,000 'cut' to the U n i o n subvention for next year. The c l a i m made to College for next year was considerably higher then this year's subvention, while the University system is being required to suffer a 2 % reduction in funding, in real terms. It is expected that the Finance C o m m i t t e e w i l l adopt a policy of 'selective misery' rather than 'equal misery' across the board, that is they w i l l make highly selective cuts in the funding for certain clubs, or certain types of expenditure for groups or clubs.
Tour grants slashed U F C latest: Thursday 5.30pm U F C have voted to abolish club tour grants, and sports team members w i l l have to bear a higher proportion of travel costs. A total of £800 is to be removed from the C C U budgets. Further cuts may still be necessary.
Jez romps home
L I N S T E A D H A L L W I L L be without a fire alarm until next week, while the system is modified.
T H E D O O R S to S e l k i r k H a l l are to be replaced, it has been decided by Student Residence Committee.
The existing set of two double doors is to be replaced by two single doors of twice the width. At present it is possible to render the double door locks useless by unbolting the doors from the inside. The decision to carry out the replacement comes less than a week after FELIX drew attention to the problem. Free!
Fire alarm fiasco
R C S fire engine J e z romped home to a stunning third place in the L o n d o n to B r i g h t o n C o m m e r c i a l Vehicle run last Sunday. H o r d e s of supporters f r o m R C S travelled down to Brighton to cheer on their motorized mascot. Friday 10 May
1985
Two emergency hand sirens have been left at the messenger's desk but until yesterday residents were only told that the alarm was not working, with no mention of what to do when the siren sounded. Linstead warden, Dr Clarke has now added that there is an emergency fire alarm and residents discovering a fire should ring the messenger. College Fire Officers, Bob Foggon said the emergency sirens were 'noisy enough to wake the whole of South Ken'. No 703
ELETTERS
Ronald Duck
Letters Thanks Dear Sir, On behalf of the other members of the 'University Challenge' team and myself I would like to express our thanks and appreciation to the large contingent of supporters who journeyed to Manchester for the contests. We were easily the best supported team in the series and the atmosphere created a tremendous boost particuarly in the game against Belfast. I am sure that when our successors play in the next 'University Challlenge' to which Imperial is invited those of you who are still here will give them as good support and spur them on to achieve what we just failed to do Dick Langstaff
FELIX
Dear Sir, 'great I'm afraid that R o n n i e communicator' Reagan has lost me, a bit. H o w can it be all right to inflict trade sanctions on Nasty oV Nicaragua, but not all right to inflict them on Dear oP South Africa? Does the man's 'humanitarianism' know no bounds? Maybe we should lead the way and give 'humanitarian' aid to the A N C ? D o you think Ronnie would follow our example? E M Ugoala Physics RA
'The Union faces it gravest financial crisis ever,' we are told. The subvention paid to the Union next year will be about £28,000 less than what has been claimed. But the problem is completely artificial. A l l that has happened is that a ridiculously large claim has been reduced to a reasonable level. It was optimistic for the Union to expect a massive percentage increase in funding based on virtually no increase in activities. But unfortunately the more outrageous claims were not cut when they should have been; as soon as they were presented. Now that clubs have had their claims accepted by major sub-committee, D P and U F C , it will come as rather a bitter blow to Route de I'Aeroclub, find that they are to be cut, after all. It makes 83400 Pierrefeu du Var, forward planning impossible. FRANCE The Exec knew exactly what sort of subvention the Union would get next year. It Dear Sir, I have had a confectionery in the south of is somewhat to their shame that they didn't France since 1979. In summer, I take on use that information when the first round of students to sell my products (peanuts, nuts claims were being considered. To have left it Dear Sir, this late was folly, indeed. and sugar-coated almonds) on the beaches. I wonder if any of your readers have noticed Where should the money come from? I don't know to which organism to write so an extraordinary resemblance between the Every year the U n i o n spends many I address myself to you. actor Peter 'Grand MofT Tarkin' Cushing Would you kindly attain the annexed thousands of pounds paying for students to and Christopher Lee, another actor, well known for such films as Dracula, The Return circular to the person or the organism who have foreign holidays. This comes under the of Dracula, Old Red-Eyes is Back, It's him attends to finding jobs for the students of euphemistic heading of'tour grants' for clubs your University. Would it be possible to stick and societies. This expenditure cannot be again, (that's enough films-Ed). up the circular in yours rooms and so give justified (except for certain competitive No? Well, I must confess that they aren't very general information to the students, who sports). The U n i o n s h o u l d p r o v i d e much alike, which is why I was rather equipment and training for clubs—it should might be interested. suprised to see Peter Cushing billed as the Hopefully my proposition will hold your not pay for students to travel abroad when star of The Return of Captain Invincible in they can just as easily do the same thing at attention. your review in issue 702! home. This is a gross misuse of Crown funds. Yours faithfully, May I suggest that your reviewer requires D M 'chouchou' Jacomo Another good area for saving is C C U beer the services of an optician? money. One of the C C U s spends £3000 per Yours etc, Richard Monkhouse Note: The annexed circular can be seen in theyear on beer which is given away to is Union Office-well worth it just for a laugh members. Elec Eng 3 As long as these activities continue there is no financial crisis in the Union. There is fat to be lost, and if it is lost properly, it will make the Union a more efficient organisation, giving value for money.
A Frenchman writes
A pedant writes
I M P E R I A L C O L L E G E CHOIR y
Monteverdi Vespers n e Tickets trom choir members or the Haldane Library
2
Friday 10 May 1985
Acknowledgements: Many thanks to Debbie, John, J o n , Grenville, Ajay, Chris, Pete, Richard, Patrick, Christopher, A l a n , Hugh, Luke, Tinker, Steve, Nigel, Rosemary, Tony and all the collators.
Fehx is published by the Editor for and on behalf of Imperial College Union Publications Board and is printed by the Union Print Unit. Imperial College. Prince Consort Road, London SW7. Telephone 01-589 5111 Ext 3515 Editor: David Rowe. Business Manager: Martin Taylor, Advertising Manager: Paul Belford. Copyright F E L I X 1985. ISSN 10140-0711.
FEUX
NEWSJ
Hours of fun at Rag Fete T H E TENTH ANNUAL rag fete will take place on the Queen's Lawn tomorrow. It will be opened at 2.00pm by Lady Flowers but the bar will be open from just after midday. Main attraction will be the Queen's Tower which is open to climb for a spectacular view of London. Clubs taking part include Debsoc with 'Is this the A r g u m e n t R o o m ? ' , the Orchestra and Wargames. The Rag Committee will be running a jumble sale—selling jumble ranging from loads of old books to an antique record player. If you ignored the previous notices and have left something in Linstead basement for a couple of years, this will be the chance to buy it back—we may even offer you a discount! Other attractions include Popcorn, maggot racing, raft
Oh, Sir
race, human slot machines, strawberries and cream, hit squad, ducking stool and chaps burgers, Pedal Cars, Eggthrowing, Darts, Bo and Jez, an unridable horse, dodgems, peep show and twat the rat. Along with at least most of the above and probably a whole lot more Carl Burgess will be having his head shaved (assuming £300 in sponsorship is raised) and Maribel will be dragging people down into the mud. To finish the afternoon off Joint Rag Committee will take place somewhere round the Queens's Tower at 6.30pm with elections of next year's officers and the choice of charities. In the evening, if you are very lucky you may even find some people down in the bar. So have a good time and bring plenty of money.
Peter
SIR PETER Swinnerton-Dyer, Chairman of the University Grants Committee, has indicated that he isn't willing to be considered for the post of Rector of IC. This was revealed after an erroneous report in the Times Higher Educational Supplement saying that he had turned down a firm offer of the job. According to THES Sir Peter described the Rectorship at IC as 'the single most important job in the university system'. The post of Rector falls vacant in September, when Lord Flowers becomes Vice-Chancellor.
Be warned A NEW FILING system is to be introduced in the Union Office next Friday. It involves heavy use of the waste paper basket which will take care of the piles of uncollected letters now lying in the Club and Society pigeon holes. The new system will ensure that representatives of all Clubs and Societies check their pigeon holes at least three times a week. Anyone failing to do this will have Union Receptionist Kathy to face. The system becomes operational next week, when all pigeon holes will be emptied—so be warned. Kathy is also'threatening to rip up the Union Message book unless the response to collect messages is better.
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FELIX
Friday 10 May 1985
3
ELETTERS
Letters Letters to the editor should be typed, or neatly written on one side of the paper. Anonymous letters will not be considered for publication, but names need not be published, if requested.
Parking permit plea Dear Sir, It has come to the attention of the Security Division (Traffic Wardens) that over the last few m o n t h s u n d e r g r a d u a t e s and postgraduates of Imperial College are d i s o b e y i n g rules regardin g p a r k i n g . Although it is a small percentage, they are nonetheless causing problems within the environs of the College campus. The rule is quite simple: no cars are allowed to park without a permit, that is without a temporary or permanent parking permit. Also, on the exits at Exhibition Road and Imperial College Road, motorcyclists are requested to drive to the left of the barrier (there is a sign!) otherwise the crash barrier will not work properly. One motorcyclist nearly received injuries through not doing this. Yours faithfully, Traffic wardens
The last word... Dear Sir, Last week M r Aharoni said that the Israelis 'tried not to hurt civilians'. I was in Lebanon during the invasion and I myself saw that the planes attacked the shelters rather than the military installations. I can't help comparing Hitler exerting the right of Germany to self-defence and to live w i t h i n secure and easily defensible boundaries by occupying France, and Israel's occupation of most of Lebanon. I would just like to add that I consider every inch of my land very dear to my heart. Yours sincerely, T Shaker Dear Sir, Far be it from me to bore anyone any more about the continuing saga of the infamous slogan ' D o w n with Israel', but we feel it to be our duty to clear up some anomalies and misunderstandings. We think it is about time that all those concerned in the Middle Eastern conflict sit together in an attempt to reach a peaceful and just solution, what we do not agree to is the method adopted by the Israelis towards that just and rightful settlement. Furthermore, Israel's iron fist policy that was clearly visible in the Lebanon goes on to show their lack of willingness towards that long-spoken-of 'peaceful settlement'.
Dear Sir, It is the 'realistic attitude' adopted by people such as T Sheriff and T Ishaq which leads to countless people being killed daily in the Middle East. H o w do they dare call the civil war that has raged in Lebanon before, during and now, after Israel's campaign, freedom? Israel has often tried to extend a peaceful hand to its neighbours: when one responds, as President Sadat of Egypt did, you know only too well how his own brethren rewarded him. N o wonder the open hand of friendship clenches into a firm fist. Is it not more realistic to face up to problems, like Israel does, and admit that one can make mistakes and then hold an inquest into what went wrong, rather than just say 'it is Israel's fault'? Blaming everything on us Jews is perhaps the only comparison to the Second World War. To compare the Jewish victims of W W 2 , who were innocent scapegoats of the Germans, to the A r a b victims of today, who themselves proclaimed the Jihad against Israel, is totally ludicrous. As such, I feel that us Jews have learnt very well from our past. Never again will we stand by defenceless while another nation tries to take away our right to live, but will take up arms to defend ourselves against anyone threatening to do so. Yours faithfully, Michael van Messel Physics 1
Thirty seven years have gone by and we are still trying to overcome the roots of the whole p r o b l e m n a m e l y , the clash between P a l e s t i n i a n n a t i o n a l i s m and Z i o n i s t ideology. The editor will accept no more Finally, it is important to emphasise that as letters on the subject of the conflict long as the Palestinian rights to selfdetermination and the establishment of their between Israel and the Lebanon. own independent states are ignored, there will never be a lasting and durable peace in the whole region. Israel can not simply enforce their own peace settlement and call it The correspondence on the subject a just solution. of the slogan 'Down with Israel' is Yours faithfully, Friends of Palestine Cttee closed.
PARODY ShMv<f/v_j/Y/l6c
4
is
Friday 10 May 1985
FEUX
NEWS F E A T U R E :
IT IS USUAL to associate Portobello Road with its weekend street antique market, it is however a misconception to believe that this is its only attribute, the fruit and vegetable market being the obvious example that dispels this notion. This recalls the cherished memory of a disgruntled American tourist who arrived one weekday to be confronted with the sight of stall after stall of perishables but there again, what does one expect from these overtly dense Trans-Atlantic types, other than their usual obnoxious habits, such as their pseudo laughter that has as much feeling as a faked orgasm and their insipid nature, which was epitomised by one who declared to his wife on their departure from the Stratford Theatre ten minutes after the play had begun, 'Well Millie, ya can now truly say that ya've seen Shakespeare.' However, before this article declines into descriptions of Americans and vegetables, which are actually quite difficult to differentiate between, I will d e s c r i b e the f e a t u r e s o f Portobello that students tend to have a greater affinity towards. The stallholders' bawdy and abrasive proclamation of today's prices and 'specials' contrast with the tactful approaches to passers by made by the furtive characters who stand on street corners and who offer various i l l i c i t substances at separation of an inch between noses. From heresay, 'dope' may also be obtained from the pub, which is located on the corner of Ladbroke Grove and Blenheim Crescent a side-street off of Portobello; associates have been propositioned six times within an hour in this pub. Apart from its reputation for live music, it is also rumoured to be under continual surveillance by the police who frequently subject persons leaving the premises, who they suspect of carrying drugs, to a body search; , I therefore advise that readers, who are unfortunate enough to have a squint, to study their copies of But Were Afraid T o Ask before wandering around this neighbourhood. FEUX
more euphemistically, 'Acting lessons administered by an experienced actress, with a large range of uniforms to choose from' or 'Tutoring available, discipline and firmness guaranteed'. Situated just off of Portobello, Portobello Road â&#x20AC;&#x201D; fruit, veg, antiques, dope and along Talbot Road and opposite Rough Trade Records. Our roving reporter, Christoper one of those u n d e r g r o u n d Murray investigates... lavatories, there is the Rough Trade Record Shop; it deals exclusively in records that are Another public house in the released on independent labels Of all the publications that deluged me during Freshers's a r e a a n d t h a t c a n b e a n d c o n s e q u e n t l y a vast week, this was the outstanding recommended is the Colville proportion of the stock has been o n e . It i s , i n e f f e c t , a sited half way along Portobello r e c o r d e d b y g r o u p s w i t h compendium of party conversa- R o a d , it b o a s t s , o n the profound and radical names such tion, including such topics as the a d v e r t i s e m e n t s o u t s i d e , o f as 'Fellatio in Smegma'. Also, for relative viscosity of cervical Sunday afternoon strip shows in those who consider buying somucus and the insertion of its upstairs function room that called 'commercial' music as pebbles into the female genitalia star stripping vicars and the like. being materialistic and thus of camels ( p r e s u m a b l y However, it is suggested to the t a n t a m o u n t to s u p p o r t i n g explaining their notoriety for real ale buffs that they try the capitalism and the music press of being bad tempered) by Arabs Earl of Lonsdale on Westbourne being blatently exploited by the which constituted the first Grove, which is near to the large record concerns, this shop example of the principle of I U D Notting H i l l end of Portobello also stocks a large supply of (and I guess, that of the french Road and is one of the twelve Fanzines that will nurture your tickler too). I can well remember Sam Smiths outlets in London; thoughts still further. Invariably an argument, concerning the T h e M u s e u m a l e is r e - t h e y c o n s i s t o f d r e a d f u l interviews with the local bands, orientation of the rectum, that commended. The shops on Portobello Road that not only fail to demonstrate was only resolved when B W A T A was brought o u t f r o m are also of interest and often any attempt at criticism but provide a respite from the busy provide the groups with the underneath the bed and a opportunity of self-adulation, market. and to spout out their Notices displayed in Newagents' windows are always contradictory politics. Also they worthwhile to glance at, since include self-opinionated verbose usually among the second-hand articles by the editor, who revels bicycle market and flats to let, in puerile resentment and a wit, that fails to compare with second there are a few dubious ones that advertise caring and under- rate, pre-sixth form humour. The Basement shop is located standing relationships with 'Sensuous Cindy' and friends, or underneath Rough Trade and is thought to be an extension of the underground conveniences; it supplies the peripherals that any self-respecting alternative person might require, for example, earrings made from I U D s . Likewise, the other clothes shops detailed on Portobello tend to provide for inspection the Kensington Market Set, of the male and examples of which being the female genitalia Leather Rat and the Cage. made One questions Those who wish to maintain the rationale of such the students' reputation for being a publication, perhaps obnoxious might like to try it is to prevent wide spread driving a car down the road on a physical abuse of one's perso busy market day, say Saturday, however, if this is the case, with liberal usage of the horn. perience shows that this principle Those without a car, who still is c o m p a r a b l e to m a k i n g wish to be obnoxious in some schoolboys undertake physical other w a y , w i l l f i n d that education to reduce masturLadbroke Grove is the closest bation: According to Desmond tube station, although Notting Morris, the People's psycholoH i l l Gate is also in close gist, in the Naked Ape, it is selfproximity. Sightseers are warned defeating since the extra energy against the abundance of acquired by increased fitness defecation left by dogs. must still be expended in sofie way, similarly, BWATA *Didyou know... that Portobello is increases the inquisitiveness of its a small port in Panama, on the reader and results in greater Carribean northeast of Colon. experimentation.
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A nice easy one this week, s o as not t o give any extra brainstrain, before the q u i z z e s . What is the next element in this series:23 11, 6, 3, 5, 4, GRADE 2 S o l u t i o n s to me in the F E L I X office by Friday 17. Still no s o l u t i o n s to the G o l f p u z z l e of last fortnight, s o I will run that on until s o m e o n e solves it. Here are the s o l u t i o n s to the Easter puzzles, in brief. T o solve the s p i d e r fly p r o b l e m , s i m p l y 'unfold' the sides of the room and draw a straight line from spider to fly. T h i s gives an answer of 40'. T h e answer to the grade five puzzle was found in a similar way, but by c o n s i d e r i n g the three different routes that are possible, the d i m e n s i o n s of the r o o m were given as 260,240 and -190. T h e two sentences were:'The number of o c c u r e n c e s of the number 1 is 3, of 2 is 2, of 3 is 3, of 4 is 1, and of 5 is 1'. 'The number of o c c u r e n c e s of the n u m b e r 0 is 1, of 1 is 4, of 2 is 3, of 4 is 2, of 5 is 1, and of 6 is 1.' T h e geometrical puzzle c o u l d be s o l v e d as s h o w n . T h e m i s s i n g angle must, by similar triangles, b e B . T h u s A + B = C. S i n c e there was only one correct entry per puzzle, no solution was left unrewarded. C o r r e c t answers to all the puzzles, except the grade five one, from S Errington M i n T e c h P G w h o wins himself ÂŁ15. T h e grade five puzzle was w o n by Y U J I M A T S U M O T O from C o m p u t i n g , w h o may collect his ÂŁ5 c h e q u e after W e d n e s d a y .
horizontal optically corect base. After filled with After being being filled with water water it it would need to be left in the dark (to prevent radiation heating) for three days. The plug would need to be carefully drawn down the The story goes like this: When you pull the plug out after a drain hole and out, to prevent any eddy currents developing. bath you'll have noticed the water swirls round. If you are in the Apparently someone actually has carried a bath like this round the northern hemisphere it swirls one way, if in the southern hemisphereworld and the effect can be seen. it goes another, if on the equator itBut a 'normal' bath? goes straight down. This is becauseNo way. of the earth's rotation. Sparing no expense F E L I X sent two o f Imperial's top scientific brains to do a carefully controlled experiment in the Beit Hall washrooms. A bath was filled with water, the plug pullled and the water went clockwise. Another bath was filled with water, the plug pulled and Voila! it went anti-clockwise. D r Bignell of the Atmospheric Physics Department explained why our carefully controlled experiment went wrong. For the earth's spin to have any effect the bath would need to be 10m in diameter, with a perfectly
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Friday 10 May 1985
The general robot lab, Imperial College
a s By the early eighties robotics work was well established at Imperial College, with several teams working in a number of different departments. However, as a wide range of technical expertise are used for the development and understanding of robots and automated systems, a focal point was needed to co-ordinate the existing activities and to stimulate new interdepartmental research and teaching. So in 1981 the Centre for Robotics and Automated Systems (CROBAS) was set up with Professor Tom Husband as Director. The Centre has adminstrative offices and a main robotics laboratory in the Mechanical Engineering Department, but also has access to many facilities throughout College. The work of the Centre covers the managerial, social, and economic issues involved with automation, as well as the technological aspects. So the Departments of Social and Economic Studies, and Management Science, play an important role in the activities of the Centre along with Mechanical Engineering, Electrical Engineering, and Computing. There are also a number of other groups throughout College, such as Astronomy and Metallurgy whose work is linked with the Centre. In all its activities the Centre aims to meet the needs of industry as well as the academic community. The main way this is achieved is through the joint academic/industrial Steering Committee. The committee consists of academic staff and representatives from industry, and meets twice a year to discuss the direction that teaching and research should take. British industry has an urgent need for well-qualified graduates with a good understanding of the potential of automated systems. To add to this many people in mid-career find that they need educating about the new technologies. So the Centre runs an MSc course in Industrial Robotics and Manufacturing Automation, and is keen to take on graduates with a few years' industrial experience, as well as fresh graduates. Along with this short courses of two to four days are run, giving practising engineers and managers an introduction to robotics and related activities, with the opportunity to see robots in action. The Centre is also a robotics consultant approved by the Department of Trade and Industry. In this capacity it can carry out specific studies to try and solve problems and make systems more efficient, or it can give advice on the introduction of automation into a factory. 8
IT COULD BE said that we are in the midst of a robotics revolution, which has the potential to touch all of our lives. The speed of technological advancement over the last few years has been spectacular with many industrial processes now being largely automated. It seems likely that fully automated and unmanned factories may be with us in only a few decades. In the sixties industrial robots were first introduced, carrying out such tasks as spray painting and spot welding. These first generation robots are limited in their potential application because although they can be programmed to carry out a given task, they are unable to react to changing conditions. Now second generation robots are being developed that receive sensory information, typically visual and tactile, from their environment, and so have a limited capability to adapt to changing conditions. The next stage on from these will be the third generation robots that will receive every type of sensory input and will have 'artificial intelligence' that will be used to solve problems. There will be a vast range of potential applications for these robots including assembly, inspection and many other activities which have long been associated with human skills of manual and mental dexterity. There will also be many non-industrial uses such as security work, space exploration, farming, helping the disabled, and many more. Research activities at the Centre cover many aspects of automated systems including robotics. The work is mainly carried out in the departments, with a substantial amount of the work being interdepartmental. Over fifty per cent of the funding for research is coming from industry, with there being a number of 'teaching company' projects where students are supervised jointly by College staff and companies such as Lucas, Philips, and Rolls Royce. As a result of one such project with Lucas, a vision system has been developed to be used in a flexible assembly systems. It allows headlamps on an input conveyor to be individually identified so that the robot can them perform appropriate operations on them. The development of vision systems opens up a wide range of applications, and some of the
The Omnigripper
current research is aimed at producing more advanced vision systems. Other current research projects are looking at areas like, robotic assembly, safety and reliability, laser machining, use of robots in hazardous environments, use of robots in the meat processing industry, and many others. Robotic Assembly has been singled out as one of the most important applications for second generation robots, and it is predicted that it will become a major robot application within a decade. The underlying principles that govern robotics assembly are being studied by a team from Mechanical Engineering. The major interests are cost effectiveness and the ability of systems to react to changes in products and processes. A major development to come from this work is a form of 'Universal Gripper'. At present the grippers used in assembly work can only handle a few shapes and so have limited adaptability to any change in the process, with both time and money being lost when a gripper has to be changed. The new 'Omnigripper' shown is a largely universal gripper and may help to solve this problem. It consists of two parallel slightly separate 'fingers' each consisting of an array of eight by sixteen closely spaced pins, which can ride vertically up and down independently of one another. As the gripper is lowered over an object, some pins will be pushed out of the way, so creating 'customised' fingers which mould to fit the part. For grasping objects either the two fingers can be brought together to grip the 10 May 1985
object externally, or else they can be moved slightly apart for an internal grip. There is feed back from each pin of the Omnigripper, providing tactile information about the object, including height details. So there is the potential for recognition of objects. In the meat processing industry de-boning is a major task. The work is very monotonous, but requires great concentration, and hand and eye co-ordination, and is at present carried out by skilled butchers. A team from the Departments of Electrical and Mechanical Engineering are collaborating with a meat processing company to develop a prototype robot system for deboning bacon backs prior to slicing and packaging. The system is required to extract up to fifteen ribs and some other bones from the cured bacon. Work on this systems is near to completion, and the robot system is shown in the photograph. First the bone layout is registered by plunging needles into the bacon, these penetrate the meat but not the bone, and send back tactile information. Then a special tool cuts round each bone tip, and a moving loop placed over the bone tip pulls back and strips the bone cleanly from the meat. One of the most attractive potential uses for robots is in the assistance of disabled people with tasks like eating and page turning. This possibility is currently being studied and it is hoped that in the future further non-industrial uses, including the developmet of artificial limbs, can be studied. Lasers provide one of the most
easily automated forms of enerc available to industry, and as a consequence they are being usee to cut and process metal. The use of robot mounted lasers for these processes is being studied by a team from Metallury and Materials Science. Safety and reliability of robots in the working environment is of the utmost importance, and forms the basis for a major research project at the Centre. This project is being carried out in collaboration with the National Centre for Systems Reliability and the Health and Safety Executive. Part of the work is covering the impact that the introduction of robots has upon health and safety in the working environment. Although robots can be fenced off there will still be occassions when humans come into close proximity with them, and this presents a
potential safety hazard. For instance at pick-up points or where the robots maximum reach overlaps perimeter fencing, it is possible that someone could be trapped or crushed. The team from Management Science and Mechanical Engineering are looking at the effect of robot design on electronic and mechanical malfunction. Using information about the failure rate of individual components that make up the robot systems, it is possible to quantify the overall reliability of the robot and a typical cell in which it is used. The work at the Centre shows clearly how academics and industrialists can work together to satisfy both their needs. Although at present the capabilities of robots are still very limited, in the future they have a vast potential.
Bacon de-boning - by robot 9
Armchair Perverts Apparently, it is a fact that the average male thinks about the act of sexual intercourse, or a related subject, at least o n c e every fifteen minutes, if not m o r e f r e q u e n t l y ; t h e author of this essay w o u l d certainly v o u c h for this piece of information a n d even D H Lawrence comments on man's affliction in L a d y Chatterly's Lover, w h e n the man w h o was k n o c k i n g her off before Mellors, e x p r e s s e s his resentment of the absurd a n d degradin g charade that is inflicted upon himself by his instincts. Moreover, I w o u l d point out that the f r e q u e n c y is seasonally dependant too, the summer period seeing a m a r k e d i n c r e a s e in t h i s parameter (comparable only to the effect obtained by stuffing o n e ' s self with oysters) principally b e c a u s e of the weather bringing o:;": mini-skirts, hot-pants a n d tf . like. It is also at this time of th year that o n e is presented wit the matter of examinations w h i c h are consequently difficult to work for, o w n i n g tc reasons concerning the above, or, more precisely, it is a c a s e of: 10
' P l e a s e help me M r Student C o u n s e l l e r , o r whatever y o u r name is, y o u c a n give me advise that c o n c e r n s c o p i n g with examination stress, depressio n a n d all of that but this does not resolve the sexual frustration that I am e x p e r i e n c i n g a n d w h i c h is dissolving my c o n c e n t r a t i o n : I mean, one minute I am ponderin g M a x w e l l ' s equation and the next, my attention is diverted to s o m e creature w h o has just w a l k e d past or c r o s s e d her legs. T h e situation is desperate, I will not fail my e x a m i n a t i o n s b e c a u s e I lack intelligence but b e c a u s e I've spent all my time in the library b o g a b u s i n g myself.' Therefore, may I r e c o m m e n d the Festival of Erotica at the R a y m o n d Revue B a r , to those w h o feel these s a m e tendencies that have just been defined. For ÂŁ10 (there are no student discounts, s o don't bother asking) o n e e x p e r i e n c e s o n e hour a n d twenty minutes of, as the advertisem e n t s d e s c r i b e it, Erotic w h i c h is Entertainment broken up into about fourteen acts; the adverts also mention full air-conditioning, I w o n d e r w h y ? T h e performances start at 7.00, 9.00 a n d 11.00pm but whether they become chronologically seedier, I don't know. It is genuine 'executive c l i f material, or more explicitly it is tasteful, soft pornography. T h e performers are e x c e p t ionally pretty a n d there are no sordid details such as nicotine-stained nipples, nor are there any flabby girls at w h o m one has to take a s e c o n d glanc e in order to determine w h i c h crease is the o n e of interest. T h e r e are also no rip-offs, s u c h as hostesses w h o politely insist that y o u p u r c h a s e an exorbitantl y expensive bottle of diluted C h a m p a g n e or face a s k i r m i s h with the b o u n c e r s ; in fact it was a c o m p r o m i s e between the two: an effeminate w i m p w h o realised that he c o u l d never achieve either, by contented himself directing people to their seats. It w a s n o t i c e a b l e t h a t amongst the a u d i e n c e , there was a high proportion of orientals, which perhaps reinforces the earlier point that controlling one's sexual urges is related to efficiency at w o r k i n g : that is, these people, w h o are reknowned for their mental stamina, release their tensions in one short burst (or several rapid a n d s u c c e s s i v e ones, to be pendantic). T h e r e is actually quite an art to c o m i n g in one's pants, s i n c e there is t h e initial
problem of o v e r c o m i n g the l u d i c r o u s l y of t h e blatant phallic s y m b o l i s m e m p l o y e d in the s h o w t o be able to arouse oneself; also the seats are s o c o n f i n e d that there is not e n o u g h r o o m to administer even a discreet tickle. O n e guesses from the liberal usage of t h e s l e d g e - h a m m e r metaphores, s u c h as stript e a z e o n m o t o r b i k e s that represent throbbing m a c h i n ery p o u n d i n g in between the girls legs, that the designer and choreographer are pundits of D e s m o n d Morris. T h e most unsubtle act was the 'love-bomb', w h i c h is a s c e n e depicting a beautiful rythmically girl writhing backwards a n d forwards o n top of a huge S S - 2 0 s h a p e d object, whose front e n d g l o w e d red w h e n c a r e s s e d by the aforementioned girl a n d , w h e n a lever is t h r o w n , abruptly and unsmoothly a d o p t s a n e w a n g l e of elevation which almost c a u s e s the girl to be thrown off her mount. Rather surprisingly there were no acts that incorporated nurses or s c h o o l g i r l s ; fair e n o u g h , s o these ideas have y e l l o w e d , however I w o u l d s u g g e s t that t h e s e i d e a s ought to be used in the i n t r o d u c t i o n to p r o v i d e a c o n c e p t that the punters c a n relate to before p r o g r e s s i n g to more c o m p l i c a t e d ideas. A s p r e a d eagled girl in the middle of a large c r e a m c a k e was t o o great a step in the realms of sexual fantasy a n d a gradual approach should have been adopt e d w h i c h w o u l d have made the s h o w more plausable and thus facilitated arousal. Returning to the topic of ' c o m i n g in one's pants' a n d having a s s u m e d that o n e n o w has an erection, the moment at w h i c h o n e leaves t h e auditorium a n d rushes to the lavatory, something that for s o m e occurred frequently, has to be c h o s e n . O n e c a n always tell the amateur by the w a y he runs out, almost d o u b l e d up, hands o n groin a n d grunting, whereas the person of greater e x p e r i e n c e strolls leisurely a c r o s s the front of the stage towards the d o o r at the same time that a performer, w h o m he casually o b s e r v e s o n p a s s i n g , is prostrate in front of h i m . In o n e of A n n a Ford's recently publishe d articles in the S u n d a y T e l e g r a p h that promoted her new book about men, s h e claimed that w o m e n had the c o n v e r s e reaction to the male's s e r i o u s hand in pocket a p p r o a c h . F r o m my experience, I must disagree: t h e a t t i t u d e is c e r t a i n l y
Friday 10 May 1985
different from that of the man's w h i c h I believe that s h o w has correctly d e s c r i b e d , however, I found the females's jocular approach nonexistent and a bored one in its place; perhaps this is not surprising in the light of her d u b i o u s c l a i m that 6 0 % of males have external marital affairs. It was almost as if their h u s b a n d s had forced them a l o n g , e x p e c t i n g t h e m to memorize the varous acts s o as they c a n be re-enacted at home; although it is uncertain whether swinging from a ceilin g light without disturbing the neighbours or c a u s i n g m u l t i p l e b a c k i n j u r i e s is feasible. For those without wives, the program proudly advertises the video in order that o n e may relieve the evening in the comfort of one's o w n home; this is euphemistically a w a y of s a y i n g that y o u c a n sit in f r o n t of t h e t e l e v i s i o n masturbating w h i c h w o u l d be i m p o s s i b l e to do at the s h o w without being arrested for gross i n d e c e n c y in a p u b i c place. In retrospect, the females' ennui was not unexpect e d s i n c e there was only one male performer whose G-String remained on throughtout, although he did s w i n g about on a rope, thrusting his pelvis into the a u d i e n c e , w h i c h I guess is moderately stimulating for those interested in this sort of thing. P e r h a p s this preservation of humility is a result of the laws regulating p o r n o g r a p h y : it is permissible to s h o w explicity s c e n e s of c u n n i l i n g u s however, it is not to s h o w an erect p e n i s ; p o r n o g r a p h i c videos will sometimes feature love sessions which show a w o m a n 'jacking o f f a m a n with a limp one, w h i c h I guess suggest that either the actor has remarkable self-control or that he h a s m a s t u r b a t e d several times before hand to obtain this effect. T h e latter is more plausible as this w o u l d explain why, to a large extent, blacks are e m p l o y e d for this: not b e c a u s e of the belief that t h e n e g r o i d m e m b e r is s u p e r i o r to the whiteman's couterpart but b e c a u s e the bruising of the genitals is less obvious. T h e final s c e n e involved all the female performers in a naked state (but of course) and s q u a r e - b a s h i n g . I admit that this was my favourite act because it was the most tasteful, least pretentious a n d demonstrated the beauty of the female form. 'Bullshit , you're just a pervert', y o u , t h e reader, reply. FEUX
new to j a z z , but B r i t i s h a u d i e n c e s have heard little in recent years. N o w , the return
JAZZ
Shcpp
of Jalal of The Last Poets ,
I arrived late. O b v i o u s l y . It was only eight o'clock but already it w a s standing r o o m only. A man in a pork-pie hat and pinstripe suit was making j o k e s on stage to an appreciative a u d i e n c e . 'Turn up the m i c r o p h o n e , I feel like Mick J a g g e r . I look a bit like him, don't I?' T his was A r c h i e S h e p p , a man in his fifties, but s t i l l in e x c e l l e n t s h a p e , drinking shorts a n d s i n g i n g blues to a roaring a u d i e n c e . It was a side of Sfjepp that I h a d never seen befo're. It is easy to dispel those early l.p.'s (The
Magic Of Ju-Ju and Four For Trane) as art for arts sake, jumping on the already
(appearing on the new Working Week I.p.). hopes to bring this expressive form back. S h e p p himself is still touring Britain, (he plays at The Forum, Kentish T o w n o n May 16). T o miss h i m this time, is to miss one of the most versatile m e n in jazz at the moment.
CINEMA
Birdy Did y o u ever see One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest? Well the new film Birdy is the s am e sort of formula; a lunatic, y o u think, a n d there's s o m e Vietnam war thrown in there too s o m e h o w . N o n e the less a g o o d film with s o m e very funny s e q u e n c e s a n d a well acted a n d portrayed friendship between Birdy a n d his b o y h o o d c h u m AI, played by Matthew M o d i n e a n d N i c o l a s C a g e . Lighting a n d music gives a similar atmosphere to m a n y of A l a n P a r k e r ' s previous films. Y e s , the man w h o brought
you Midnight
unsteady b a n d w a g o n o the times—but here w a s living proof that a g o o d m a n matures with age. P l a y i n g a lot of m a i n s t r e a m themes (Charlie Parker early Coltrane and Eubie Blake ballads), S h e p p quite often c h a n g e s tempo, (as in The Girl From Ipanema; L a t i n - A m e r i c a n to 4:4 time), laying d o w n riffs, sometime diffidently, often at a breakneck pace. H e w a s obviously dissatisfied with the amplification in the house. After a furious turn, a n d amidst cheers a n d applause, he reached d o w n a n d fished out a large m i c r o p h o n e c o n c e a l e d deep inside his saxophone. If his jazz has b e c o m e more p a l a t a b l e , it is n o l e s s meaningful than that work of a d e c a d e a g o , but it is more direct. S h e p p ' s jazz-poetry, s p o k e n and s u n g over a loose rhythmic b a c k i n g (by drumme r Charlie Chan Jr) c o n v e y s the m e s s a g e that o n c e his horn w o u l d have taken up. Poetry is nothing 1
FEUX
Express a n d
The Wall, A l a n Parker sat in front of me for the interview. S e e i n g his grey hair a n d big h e a d e d s m i l e left y o u w o n d e r i n g h o w this c o u l d realy be the man w h o ruined the T u r k i s h tourist trade. T h e interview is short a n d he has little to say. He is keen to talk about the new film a n d the new flying cameras used for the first time, with little s u c c e s s . H e c r a s h e d most o f t h e m . He s a y s he likes the c o m m e r c i a l aspect of the f i l m — A m e r i c a n m o n e y — a s it helps him to get his film, a n d what he has to say, to the largest a u d i e n c e . Frankly he has said very little in the film, what there is is mainly the author's work, William Wharton. He mentions quickly, with nostalga, h o w he started his career walking up a n d d o w n W a r d o u r Street w i t h film scripts under his arms. That was twenty years ago. S i n c e then he has shot c o m m e r c i a l s and w a s responsible for the film Fame. Despite him and the annoying background k n o w l e d g e I enjoyed the film. T h e book, I think, explains the s c h i z o p h r e n i a w h i c h is left to the imagination in the film. Y o u simply have to remember that he really wants to make love to the birds, rather than any h i g h - s c h o o l girl.
T h i s is T o m S t o p p a r d ' s classic play about p h i l o s o p h y and its a b s u r d relation with the real w o r l d . Dorothy, (Felicity Kendal) failed vaudeville star, throws a party, whilst her h u s b a n d , G e o r g e (Paul Eddington) desperately trying to finish his s y m p o s i u m o n the existance of G o d . T h e festivities are abruptly halted w h e n one guest, D u n c a n M c F e e is shot d e a d . Left with a dead lecturer in her room, Dotty begins to lose her grip, whilst G e o r g e , quite unaware that anythin g is amiss, is unable to offer any help or understanding. H e r only s u c c o u r is A r c h i e , V i c e President of the University, w h o neatly d i s p o s e s of the body and side-steps the e n s u i n g police investigation. It is difficult to pin d o w n what makes this play s o s u c c e s s f u l . A s an established play perhaps it is ideally suited to the West E n d , b e c a u s e s o m u c h of its m e a n i n g is c o n t a i n e d in the text, requiring little expressive acting from its cast. T h i s is u n f o r t u n a t e l y true of Paul E d d i n g t o n , whos e long p h i l o s o p h i c a l m o n o l o g u e s lose m u c h m e a n i n g in their delivery. Felicity K e n d a l is both passionate and provocative, and is quite a c c u s t o m e d to S t o p p a r d ' s work, having w o r k e d with Peter W o o d (director) both o n this a n d his play, The Real Thing. M o s t spectacular of all, however are the professors of p h i l o s o p h y , the jumpers, w h o s e s p e c t a c u l a r a c r o b a t i c s c o n c l u d e this farce in excellent cabaret. A n excellent play. W h y can't the West E n d be like this all the time?
SINGLES Toyah: Don't Fall In Love N o w recording for C B S , this new single w a s meant to herald a new start for T o y a h . U n f o r t u n a t e l y , d e s p i t e the hype that has bought it a chart place, the music and lyrics are equally uninspiring. B o r i n g .
Philip Bailey: Walking On The Chinese Wall Title track from his a l b u m , this suffers from the s am e Phil C o l i n s p e r c u s s i o n production and repetitive melodies as the other tracks. Easy Lover was a brilliant single (even if I, like most others, am now bored to death with it) but this doesn't c o m e c l o s e to it.
Claire Hamill: If You'd Only Talk To Me Now supportintg Rick W a k e m a n on tour, C l a i r e has had more experience of the
Friday 10 May 1985
true s o u l s c e n e (instead of the plastic d i s c o imitations) than most o t h e r s . D e s p i t e t h e Lindisfarne v o i c e , a n d Stuart C o l e m a n (Of S h a k y fame) p r o d u c t i o n , a marvellously lilting tune.
Bangles: Going To Liverpool T h e all new, all female, latest B a n a n a r a m a imitators have yet another all new, all female, B a n a r a m a imitation —and a pretty poor o n e at that. G e r r y a n d T h e P a c e makers meets A b b a on vinyl.
Sugar Sugar: Bouncing Up T h e thing I most dislike about this single is that it's not a full seven inches wide and s o it f—ks up my stylus. M i n d y o u the music doesn't do m u c h to ease that initial antipathy. W h y is p o p music s o bland these days. ? 11
SUMMER
JOBS
ASSISTANT MANAGERS, RECEPTIONISTS, CLEANERS & NIGHT MANAGERS REQUIRED FOR JULY, AUGUST AND SEPTEMBER in the Summer Lettings Schemes & SAC. GOOD WAGES, FREE ACCOMMODATION & BONUS Information and application forms available from:Student Services 15 Princes Gardens
CLOSING DATE FOR APPLICATIONS: FRIDAY, 10 MAY 1985
CRICKET
S u m m e r game UG V^tory
Second XI Last Wednesday, as foretold in FELIX, the IC Second XI cricket team set forth for Harlington armed with only eleven men(?). A bad start 15 runs for 2 wickets was rescued by skipper Gareth Fish and freshman Ian Morgan. Fish played on before lunch for 47 with IC 100 for 6 against Surrey. During lunch the rest of the team arrived and afterwards took us to 147 all out. Surrey were 18 for 2 then 39 for 3. Ten dropped catches and some very dubious umpiring from the Surrey camp allowed them to score the 148 required from only 36 overs. Next week is the crunch against the favourites Reading. Result: Surrey bt IC 2nd XI by 6 wickets, their first U A U win for seven years.
A fine match this was, played between two teams of RCS Gentlemen, during which much new talent was displayed (not always for cricket). The game commenced at 2.13pm precisely on time, the UGs having won the toss and electing to bat. An excellent innings produced three 50s, with Mike Jordan scoring 67, Ian Morgan with 62 and Dave Layland (captain) an unbeaten 50. The PGs fought back some extent Robin Graham taking three wickets in his short spell of spin bowling. Eventually, the UGs declared at 214 for 8, and both teams, with spectators, proceeded to devour the teas they had carted along. The PGs started soundly but were seen under pressure from
the fast opening attack of Dave Shipley and Phil Rawstron. One over by the captain led to a very close run out, followed by the wild (if not wide) antics of a certain A T Belk. Mike Jordan then proved himself a very able bowler with figures of two for two resulting in the final defeat of the PGs on 78 all out. Many thanks to everyone who turned up—I hope they enjoyed t h e m s e l v e s , and t h a n k s especially to Dave and Robin for their captaincies. Ps We challenge the Maths UGs—Just name a date Roy!
Sunday XI Anyone, yes ANYONE, who wants a game of cricket, on Sundays May 19 and/or June 2, 16 or July 14, and 28 then the Sunday XI is for you. A batsman who wants a bowl, a bowler who wants to bat, a fly-half, prop, goalie, striker, cox, flasher, streaker who's after a game, then sign up on the c r i c k e t noticeboard (just outside the Union bar) and await selection!
Can someone please write some match reports? Hand them in to the FELIX Office any time up to Wednesday night. Sports Ed
industrial society
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Friday 10 May 1985
13
CDIARY Friday 10 •ISLAMIC SOCIETY 1.00pm U n i o n B u i l d i n g . Friday congregational prayers.
Saturday 11 • P A R T Y 9.00pm to 1.00am H o l l a n d C l u b . T h e m e of party: V i c a r s a n d Tarts. Free barrel after 11.00pm, d i s c o by J a m i e Bell. £1.00 (tickets available in advance). •PILLOW FIGHT 3.00pm R a g Fete Q u e e n s L a w n . A l l P P S o c fighters please bring yourself and y o u r pillow to P h y s i c s level 2 at 2.30pm.
Sunday 12 • C H A P L A I N C Y SERVICE 10.00am C o n s o r t G a l l e r y Sherfield. • M A S S 11.30am and 6.00pm M o r e H o u s e , 53 C r o m w e l l R o a d . Mass, bar supper and talk. • W A R G A M E S MEETING 1.00pm U n i o n S C R . 10% d i s c o u n t on games, membership £1.50.
Monday 13 • I C C A G LUNCHTIME MEETING 12.30pm I C C A G Office. C o m e along and find out about the activities of the C o m m u n i t y A c t i o n Group. • H A N G GLIDING MEETING T2.30pm S o u t h s i d e U p p e r L o u n g e . •WATERSKI C L U B MEETING 12.30pm above S o u t h s i d e Bar. S i g n up for W e d n e s d a y and Saturday skiing. •CHRISTIAN UNION 5.30pm G r e e n Committee R o o m , U n i o n 5th floor. Meet for prayer e a c h M o n d a y till 6.30pm •IC WINDBAND REHEARSALS (1812) 5.45pm to 7.15pm Great Hall. A l l Windplayers w e l c o m e for this great extravaganza! • B I O T E C H N O L O G Y SOCIETY MEETING 5.45pm B i o c h e m i s t r y Buildin g Link 4 Lecture R o o m . ' H a n d s off my G e n e s ' , talk on B i o t e c h n o l o g y and the Law by Peter Elliott, Patent Agent. A l l Welcome. • D A N C E CLUB 6.30pm, J C R . A d v a n c e d Ballroom and Latin 6.30pm (Jazz), 7.30pm (Ballroom) 75p.
Tuesday 14 • T H E IMPERIAL WORKOUT 6.00pm Southside G y m . Wear something comfortable and please bring training shoes (any kind) all w e l c o m e . 50p a lesson, membership £1.00. • C A N O E C L U B 6.30pm IC S w i m m i n g P o o l . Trip every other weekend. 14
• N O R T H AMERICAN STALL 12.30pm J C R . Vacation in the U S A — W o r k and Play you'll never have another c h a n c e (looks g o o d on C V too) • A U D I O S O C 12.30pm U n i o n Upper L o u n g e . Discoun t record c l u b meeting, buy records cassettes, videos etc at trade prices. • M A S S AND L U N C H 12.30pm C h e m i s t r y 231. • H O V E R C R A F T C L U B MEETING 12.45pm Lower Gallery, Linstead Hall. • Q T MEETING 1.00pm S o u t h s i d e U p p e r Lounge. •RIDING C L U B 1.00pm Southside U p p e r L o u n g e . Meeting. • R E D BURGUNDY TASTING 6.00pm S C R . M e m b e r s £2.50, n o n members £3.00. • J U D O PRACTICE 6.30pm U n i o n G y m Beit Q u a d . Price 50p mat fee. • D A N C E C L U B 7.00pm(inter) and 8.00pm(improv) J C R . Intermediate B a l l r o o m and Latin and Improvers B a l l r o o m and Latin. 50p. • O P S O C REHEARSAL 7.30pm M u s i c R o o m , 53, Prince's Gate. Meet in S o u t h s i d e Bar before rehearsal.
Wednesday 15 • I C C A G HOSPITAL VISITING 12.45pm, M e c h E n g Foyer. • W A R G A M E S 1.00pm, U n i o n S C R . 10% d i s c o u n t on games. •ISLAMIC TEACHINGS 1.30pm2.00pm, 9 Princes G a r d e n s . M u h a m m a d as foretold in the Bible. Free. • M I C R O C L U B MEETING 1.30pm Mines 401. M e m b e r s h i p £2. • D A N C E C L U B 8.00pm J C R . New Beginners C l a s s . 50p.
• B A L L O O N C L U B MEETING 12.45pm, S o u t h s i d e U p p e r L o u n g e . • S T O I C B R O A D C A S T 1.00pm and 6.00pm J C R , Southside T V L o u n g e and all Hall T V sets. N e w s b r e a k — T h e last of the year, including the Rag Fete. • S C I E N C E FICTION SOCIETY 1.00pm library meeting. A c c e s s to the society's 600 volume library. All members welcome. U n i o n G r e e n Committee R o o m . • Q U R A N I C CIRCLE 1.30pm 9, Princes G a r d e n s . Learn the s c i e n c e of the recitation of the Q u r a n . • T H E IMPERIAL WORKOUT 6.00pm S o u t h s i d e G y m . Wear something comfortable and please bring training s h o e s (any kind) all w e l c o m e . 50p a lesson, membership £1.00. • I C C A G SOUP RUN 9.15pm, meet Weeks Hall, P r i n c e s G a r d e n s . T a k i n g s o u p , biscuits and meeting s o m e of L o n d o n ' s homeless.
SERVICING & REPAIRS at
RICKY'S GARAGE (Personal
service
guaranteed./
l» QUEENS GATE PLACE MEWS. SOUTH KENSINGTON, LONDON S W.7 Tel :0l-Sil ISM
Thursday 16 • M E T H S O C MEETING 12.30pm C h e m . E n g . E400. Informal meeting, lunch available. • A U D I O S O C 12.30pm U n i o n U p p e r L o u n g e . Discoun t record club meeting. B u y records, cassettes, videos, etc. at trade prices. • I C Y H A BUTTIES 12.30pm Southside U p p e r L o u n g e . O u r weekly meeting with information on this term's c o m i n g events. All welcome. • T H E IMPERIAL WORKOUT 12.45pm S o u t h s i d e G y m . Wear something comfortable and please bring training s h o e s (any kind) all w e l c o m e 50p. • S T A M P C L U B MEETING 12.45pm Chemistry 231. Friday 10 May 1985
Accommodation available for October 1985. No retainer required for Summer. Flats for 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8 people. Also single and double rooms with cooking facilities in South Kensington, Fulham, and Putney areas. Contact A. Christian on 546 8159 or 731 0292.
FELIX
DIARYD •It really must be summer, when J a m e s B r o w n c o m e s to town. T h i s is the m a n w h o gave y o u Papa's Got A Brand New Bag, and w h o invented numerous d a n c e steps s u c h as the Fly, T h e M a s h e d Potato, a n d the C a m e l Walk. T h e self a c c l a i m e d G o d f a t h e r Of Funk, making his first appearenc e in o o h - e v e r - s u c h - a l o n g - t i m e , w i l l be p l a y i n g at t h e Hammersmith O d e o n o n the 25, 26 a n d 27 of M a y . • T h e American Festival, w h i c h runs till the end of May, has provided the c h a n c e of a number of A m e r i c a n musicians, actors playrights a n d artists to perform and talk about their work, many for the first time in this country. Margaret Jenkins is one s u c h w o m a n , w h o brings her dance c o m p a n y to The Place to perform three new works, (First Figure, Whatever Happened To Tina Croll?and Inside O utsi de). H e r w o r k is spectacurlarly visual, c o m b i n i n g d a n c e with theatre, a n d has beerf m u c h a c c l a i m e d in A m e r i c a . T h e s h o w runs until the 12th. Admission £3.25
•I'D'E'A'S
• T o promote their new I.p., Musi-OTanya', hard-reggae band Misty In Roots play at U L U , (Malet St) tonight, starting, at 8.00pm, A d m i s s i o n £4.00. • M a k i n g a rare a p p e a r a n c e in Britain, Jimmy Rogers a n d Phil Guy a r e indisputably two of the largest names in the blues-field. Rogers, w h o worked extensively with Muddy Waters in the late 50's a n d 60's is now recording o n Chess Records, G u y makes his first a p p e a r a n c e in this country, and both apear at the 100 Club, O x f o r d Street, o n May 19. Arrive early.
•Count of Three is a new a n d s u c c e s s f u l theatre c o m p a n y w h o are no strangers to the E d i n g b u r g h Festival. T h e i r new production of The Bedsitting Room starts at The Three Horseshoes a n d runs for a week. Like most of Spike Milligan's plays, it is hugely funny although the plot (some thing to d o with a nuclear holocaust and peerage), defies description. S o , I might a d d , d o the actors. • T w e l v e dozen dental mirrors please, and a stuffed alligator'. S u c h s h o p p i n g lists are run-of-the-mill stuff for Laurence Corner, (62 - 64, H a m p s t e a d Rd.), an outfitters with a difference. In addition to the usual selection of Government S u r p l u s , they are able to offer large quantities of c o m m e r c i a l u n i f o r m s , ( i n c l u d i n g , at p r e s e n t , practically the entire stock of British A i r w a y s a i r - h o s t e s s ' o u t f i t s ) , at remarkably cheap prices. O v e r the road they deal in surplus equipment, (fourfoot machetes, tongue depressors, wigs, glass eyes, that sort of thing) N o w you'll never be stuck for birthday presents again....
RAG
FETE
Climb the Queens Tower Fun and Games Stalls on the Queens Lawn
Saturday 11t May FELIX
Friday 10 May 1985
15
fNEWS Bye, Brian
STA Competition Winner
THERE WILL BE a chance for staff and students to bid the Rector farewell at an informal gathering on Wednesday 19 June between 5.00pm and 7.00pm. Beer and bangers will be provided in the main Dining Hall, Sherfield and, weather permitting, on the Queen's Lawn. Everyone is welcome to attend.
Rent rise THE FINAL DECISION on rent inceases in student Halls and Houses has been deferred until next month when the level of next year's grant will be announced. The College is seeking an increase which is expected to be more than the grant increase.
Appealing procedure A N E W APPEALS procedure is to be introduced for students who are disciplined by Hall or House wardens. At present any appeal can only be referred to the College Disciplinary Appeals Committee. This body was thought to be too high-powered and so the first line of appeal will be to a new Residence Tribunal, which will be made up of the deputy chairman of the student Residence Committee, a Hall and Pictured above is Andy Thomis, lucky winner of the FELIX/STA Travel Competition. He is shown in a House Warden and the President and Hon Sec of IC the U L U Travel Office in the JCR, receiving his ticket for a weekend in Paris for two. Union. The tribunal can also be used if wardens are unsure about whether or not a fine should be imposed.
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ANNOUNCEMENTS •Do you need a typist for your thesis/dissertation/report? The H A L D A N E LIBRARY has a large file of addresses and phone numbers. Please ask at Library Counter. •Got anything you want to advertise? How about the Small Ads noticeboard in the H a l d a n e L i b r a r y ? (Not accommodation ads). U S E Y O U R LIBRARY FOR S A L E •Hillman Hunter Super, 1725cc. R reg. Immaculate yellow, very economical and reliable, reconditioned engine with 7 months guarantee, new MOT, new wings, new exhaust, cassette radio. You get what you pay for! A bargain at only £549ono.Phone 01 272 1941, and hurry! •Two 3-speed ladies bikes, one £30, the other £50ono. Contact Caire on 675 0617. LOST •White Envelope containing 8 or 9 slides- Pictures of Guilds Presidents Dinner. If found please return to Maribel Anderson via Guilds Office. ACCOMMODATION •Single room in Selkirk Hall available for rest of term for £26 a week. Contact Monka Staffico. Tel 5841416 anytime.
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•Two rooms and own kitchen situated in Tooting, suitable for 2 people. The house is 5 minutes walk from Tooting Bee tube. The rooms are available from 1 June at £208 per month, contact Susan on 672 8274 for fur*he* details. •Flatshare available for one person. June 8 Jo September 29. Hamlet Gardens Flat (not College Run). £25 pw. Phone Dave Robinson ext 6806 or 741 0003 evenngs. •Two students wanted to share in Fulham with two girls. Double room starting September £ 3 0 p w each. Contact D Walker, 3 Dorncliffe Rd SW 6. •Two people required to share a flat for 6 in Hammersmith, non-smokers preferred. For details contact P Toomer Maths 2 on 748 6149 ext 218 ASAP. •House-share for next year one double and one single on College company let £30pw lovely area next to Wimbledon Common and Richmond Park Garage available from June 27. Nick Wooder ext 6866 or 789 9796 (evenings). PERSONAL •Pillow talk—PPS meets Q T S at the Rag Fete. •Say It with pillows—Join PPSoc.
•Terminators will obliterate the Q T wimps at the Rag Fete—be there! •Will PPSoc share the Chairman at the Rag Fete?—Will pigs fly?? •PPSoc wish to deny the libellous rumour that we have ceased to be and would like to remind Q T that we're in better shape than they are! •Dave Shepherd? Where are you? Please report in to any College bar to receive your emergency transfusion of Guinness. •Juliette—the yolk's on you! •Will lain Wide Boy Smith make another video? •Warning: The vixens are full of the joys of spring! Watch out all you men of power. •Avoid creaking bed-springs; sleep on the floor! See N James for details. • Guilds G u i d e s — T - s h i r t s a n d centenary histories non available from Guilds Office. •Tiggers V Diggers: 2:1 •To Pete, Happy Bithday and IT be at your next one promise CWIS. •Lots of Birthday kisses to our paedophiliac, 21 year old Station Manager, with love from all the IC Rad females (and CWISJxxx. •From one old Croc to another: Happy Birthday!
Friday 10 May 1985
Late rent surcharge IN FUTURE a surcharge of £15 will be made to Hall residents who fail to pay their rent within two weeks of receiving the bill. Many people don't bother paying until the end of term in order to gain interest on the money, or in some cases to spend it. This surcharge may be waived if a valid reason for default is given to the Student Services Officer.
Rooms SINGLE A N D S H A R E D rooms are available in College accommodation for immediate occupation until the end of term. Contact Leslie in the Student Services Office. FELIX