http://www.felixonline.co.uk/archive/IC_1991/1991_0911_A by Ravi Pall

Issue 9 1 1

4 October 1991

Suffer for Sport? Student facility

or private

New Security

health spa ?

Imperial C o l l e g e will have a new

P r o p o s e d changes to the c o l l e g e ' s sports centre by P r i n c e ' s G a r d e n s

security system by January 1992 i f

have

the

everything goes as planned. T h e

changes

system w i l l require each student to

caused

student

fury

body.

amongst

These

include a c o n v e r s i o n o f the present

carry an identification c ard to gain

G y m - c u m - w e i g h t s r o o m into a cafe

access to c a m p u s buildings

or lounge

normal hours, although the campus

area,

and i n c l u s i o n of

after

saunas, sun-beds and Jacuzzis. In

will be open as usual d u r i n g the

addition,

day.

prices

for students are

g o i n g to up and access times for sports

clubs

will

Terry

limited o r

Briley, College

Security

Officer, told F e l i x that the cost was

moved. T h e pri ce for a season ticket this

under

discussion.

doing

lot o f

are

still

homework',

'We

year is £18 for nine months - as

added. T h e C o l l e g e w i l l be p a y i n g

three

for

months

will

used

for

the

new

system,

a n d the

refurbishment - c o m p a r e d to £12

identification cards will be provided

for twelve months last year. It is

with no cost to the students. T can't

projected that next year the price

see h o w it c a n be detrimental to

will

a n y b o d y , ' said Jonathan G r i f f i t h s ,

be £24 for students,

which

U n i o n D e p u t y President.

compares to £100 for non-college people.

M r Griffiths said that he thought it would be a 'preventative measure

T h i s refurbishment is due to take place

in S p r i n g

weeks

between

rather

1992 for 12-16

an estimated £300,000

cost

and

half

than

trying

cure

s o m e t h i n g . ' E a c h student will have

an identification number w h i c h will

m i l l i o n pounds. In a written note

said that she had recieved a number

believed that M r C o l e m a n was not

automatically enter the system when

o f complaints f r o m clubs using the

remotely

the ca rd is used. T h e system w i l l

Gordon

Marshall,

Estates,

referred

Director to

the

'South

K e n s i n g t o n Sports C e n t r e ' and said

student

the m o v e m e nt s

each

facilities and had said so o n m o r e

record

than one o c c a s i o n .

individual around campus. T h e r e is the possibility that an u n w e l c o m e

'to market

that it w i l l not finish until 10.30pm rather than 9 . 3 0 p m as at present.

Sports Centre has been in the l i m e -

individual's

m o v e m e nt s

self financing and

Other

light. W h e n it was built it cost just

limited

programming

o v e r a quarter o f a m i l l i o n pounds

number

into

and

rejected.

M r B r i l e y said that the

making.'

intended

p o o l . T h e underwater

improvements to make the centre

that

it was

swimming

c l u b w i l l have its session m o v e d so

interested

possible profit

In addition,

Southside

clubs

unsocial

have

hours

said

they

that the

have

been

This

is not the first

time the

g y m w o u l d be d i v i d e d in t w o , one

allocated mean that they are less

half to replace the g y m p r e v i o u s l y

attractive to new m e m b e r s .

They

p r o b l e m s , postponing the o p e n i n g

precise

in the Sports C e n t r e , the other for

also say that few students wish to

and increasing the planned costs. It

depended

the events that usually take place in

exercise so late in the e v e n i n g as

was o r i g i n a l l y intended to be open

chose.

it.

they are too tired.

to both students and staff o f the

Ray C o l e m a n , M a n a g e r o f the

O t h e r complaints f r o m clubs o f Committee

technical

details

their to

the

system

on which

one

college

B o t h M e s s r s B r i l e y and Griffiths

C o l l e g e , as was reported in F e l i x ,

said

2nd October 1968. N o mention was

administration and the students feel

that

their

opinion

the

believed the refurbishment was to

( A C C ) include the belief that there

made

Union

that the system is a g o o d idea. ' W e

by a loan f r o m the

w o u l d be too few cubicles for the

President o f that year, o f outside

will all benefit f r o m i t , ' said M r .

college. H e said that the new idea

s w i m m i n g p o o l , the centre doesn't

usage o r profit.

Griffiths,

'appeals to students and staff

need

Clubs

beset

the system

Sports C e n t r e , told F e l i x that he financed

Athletic

was

c a n be

another bar - w h i c h

won't

Rex

Lowin,

F i n a n c e for the

centre came almost equally from the

can attract people f r o m outside to

have any alcoholic drinks - and that

College

pay competitive rates to subsidise

a sports centre ought to m a x i m i s e

entrance charge was a shilling (just

being

its sports facilities rather than have

five pence) for entrance to the p o o l

departmental

snack bars.

and squash courts. T o d a y

approved

student

and staff

facilities.'

use o f

sports

H e added that 'at the

and outside grants. T h e

'no

it w i l l

one

should

w a n d e r i n g a r o u n d the quad for any r e a s o n . ' T h e proposal is currently reviewed

by heads.

all If

everyone,

the

then

Club

cost y o u eighty pence i f y o u are an

installation w i l l begin ready for use

rates... I can't p r o m i s e that there

captain, told F e l i x that ' n o b o d y has

Imperial student and £1.75 i f y o u

early next year. M r Briley ended by

w o n ' t be an increase

been told what Ray C o l e m a n ' s brief

are not.

saying that 'it w o u l d be best to say

is... it appears to be a self financing

See next w e e k ' s letters for further

that

brief".

comment.

c o l l e g e - w i d e security s y s t e m . '

moment we can't justify

prices)

(in

external student

but not a great increase'.

Z o e H e l l i n g e r , U n i o n President,

Craig

Robinson,

The

ACC

Squash

said

that

college

looking

into

Union

4 October 1991

Felix 911

Help Yourself at

Women

figures

6 . 0 0 p m . T h e cost o f the course will

Certain

show an increase o f o v e r 1 0 % i n

be ÂŁ3.00 (subsidised!!) and there

e x p e r i e n c e d by minorities within

Self-Defence

Presidente,

Zoe

Hellinger,

talks of

aid

are

armed robbery.

would

first

Indecent

assaults

l i m i t e d places

(30).

If y o u

like to attend then i n the U n i o n

please

office

rose by 2 6 % , w h i c h included a 55 %

increase in offences

5 . 3 0 p m M o n d a y 7th O c t o b e r .

among men.

difficulties

are

always

any society, and w o m e n at I C , w h o make

only

population,

23%

are

the

means

i m m u n e . T h e situation is certainly

overstretched

not impossible to live with, w o m e n

police force voices its frustration at

First-Aid

p e o p l e ' s apparent unwillingness to

What

take steps to prevent crimes against

neighbour

themselves a n d their possessions.

couldn't

A l t h o u g h South K e n s i n g t o n and

and women.

10th O c t o b e r

Thursday

violent c r i m e , i n c l u d i n g rape a n d

Increasingly,

violence,

and

Training

Recently published c r i m e

Course

would

have a g o o d deal here c o n s i d e r i n g

you

lecture

breathe

your

theatre

fell

unconscious? W o u l d y o u want to

the p o w e r s

that

w i t hin

college are desperately attempting to

increase

However,

that

percentage.

it c a n be quite a strain

are

help but not k n o w h o w ? If this is

w h e n y o u are s u r r o u n d e d by m e n

probably the safest areas in L o n d o n ,

the case then y o u should attend a

constantly. Often a time to relax in

attacks have been k n o w n to happen.

first

a safe space amongst sympathetic

For

certificate o f ability to practice first

w o m e n is all y o u need to recover

aid.

a flagging

the

surrounding

boroughs

those w h o are w o r r i e d

possible

attacks,

about

'Violence

aid

course w h i c h leads to a

spirit. If there are any

course

general p r o b l e m s encountered b y

and w o m e n has been arranged by

leading to the H e a l t h a n d Safety at

w o m e n , then this is the best f o r u m

the U n i o n .

W o r k certificate taking place o n the

in w h i c h to discuss t h e m .

A w a r e n e s s C o u r s e ' for both m e n

Through

simple

but

effective

There

is a n

11 week

college site. It begins o n M o n d a y

In order to see whether there is

techniques, y o u w i l l learn h o w to

7th

deal w i t h situations, should they

9 . 3 0 p m ) and w i l l be held i n the

there

arise.

H o l l a n d C l u b (underneath the Great

meeting o n T u e s d a y 8th O c t o b e r at

The

physical

psychological

and

self-defence

October

H a l l ) every

techniques taught to y o u w i l l help

The

you

possibly

to handle most situations that

at 6 . 0 0 p m

subsequent

(finishes

Monday.

p r i c e o f this course is ÂŁ15.00, the cheapest

first

a need for this k i n d o f a g r o u n d ,

lpm

will

introductory

(bring your lunch) in the U n i o n

Senior

Common

Room.

Both

aid

w o m e n and m e n are invited in order to test the acceptability o f this k i n d

threaten y o u r personal safety. A l l

course y o u w i l l get. If y o u w o u l d

this is e x p l a i n e d i n a c o n c i s e and

like to attend then please contact

of group amongst the I C population.

clear m a nne r , s h o w i n g h o w easy it

Roger Serpell o n Internal Extension

If y o u have any constructive ideas

is to be both aware and safe.

4045. Places are l i m i t e d to 24 a n d

for this group then I hope to see y o u

will be allocated o n a first c o m e first

there!

The

course takes place o v e r two

2.5 h o u r sessions o n T u e s d a y 8th

served basis.

Smoking Policy

H e l p f o r t h o s e w h o w i s h t o give

The

area for s m o k e r s . B a r s will not be

people to give up s m o k i n g . T h e s e

with

affected b y this p o l i c y .

w i l l c o m m e n c e o n O c t o b e r 1 and

disregard c o u l d lead to disciplinary

C o l l e g e ' s smoking policy came

into force o n 1st O c t o b e r . M a n y o f you

will

recall the questionnaire

The

p o l i c y w i l l be implemented

w o r k i n g party set up to review

across the college as a whole. E a c h

the

policy

by the

responses to that questionnaire. In d e t e r m i n i n g the need smoking

policy

acknowledging

of w o r k will need to be considered. T h e r e are some

buildings and

departments where restrictions on

c o n c e r n about the risks to health

s m o k i n g already operate eg. lecture

formal

through

policy

smoking.

m i n i m i s e s conflict

and misunderstandings. The

policy

outlines

college where s m o k i n g is banned. These

will

theatres, meeting r o o m s , libraries and

laboratories.

These

arrangements w i l l continue. areas

w h o responded

to the

w h o are g o i n g

The

policy

questionnaire expressed a desire to

create

stop s m o k i n g .

smokers

H e a l t h C e n t r e w i l l again be a

programme

help

j information c a n be obtained f r o m the H e a l t h C e n t r e (ext. 3091).

be p u b l i c c i r c u l a t i o n

areas such as lifts, corridors, toilets and reception areas. S m o k i n g w i l l

The

policy

members

will

apply

s t a f f,

contractors, conference

delegates

and students. W h e r e a c c o m m o d a t i o n permits

not be permitted in official vehicles

there w i l l be areas where

and enclosed sports areas. S m o k i n g

w i l l be a l l o w e d

will

not be permitted i n college

catering facilities unless they are b i g enough to a c c o m m o d a t e a separate

to all

visitors,

departments.

to s m o k e .

identified

people These within

is not intended to

situation will

through

within

feel

which

alienated.

H o w e v e r , n o n - s m o k i n g is to be the n o r m at Imperial C o l l e g e and as any college

rule,

repeated

action. J N Payne, E m p l o y e e Relations Manager.

college w o r k p l a c e is different and

increasing

incurred

difficult time.

various characteristics and methods

for a

the c o l l e g e the

those

The

guided

E v e r y o n e recognises that g i v i n g up s m o k i n g is not easy. O n e third o f

r unni n g

departmentally rather than imposed

were

fellow students and offer support to

smokers

sent to all students earlier this year.

Students can also encourage their

up smoking

C A S H PRIZES To all clubs FRESHERS' and societies: SNOOKER Deadline for all TOURNAMENT news/results is This Sunday (6.10.91) Monday each lpm week! Top Floor Union Building

4 October 1991

Felix 911

Thanks for the Fish

Clubs & Societies

Rad S o , i f y o u ' v e ever listened to the

D o y o u want to be a D J ? B y the time y o u read this y o u will

radio

and

thought

you

do better yourself, or perhaps y o u

y o u ' v e ever considered be i ng a D J

would

then keep y o u r tired and gritty eyes

scenes helping with the technical

T r a i n i n g is v e r y

open a moment longer and read o n .

wizardry that keeps us together then

c o u l d be o n the air this time next

c o m e d o w n to our southside studio.

week.

the

from

many

services

prefer

W h a t w o u l d y o u give, right now,

W e broadcast across campus o n 999

Southside

Falmouth/Keough

for a two page document containing

kHz A M

the answers to every question o n

quality land lines to m a n y parts o f

your

college

What

would

risk,

y o u give you're

including

the

high

JCR

and

for

behind

situated

beside

shop

below and

Selkirk/Tizard

halls.

summer

studio

the

During has

the been

several hundre d C D s . W h y not pop in and say hello and maybe e v e n get a c u p o f

you

have

dedications internal

you

any

requests

can call

telephones.

Southside,

3440

coffee!

s i m p l e and y o u

789

from

or the

from

anywhere

else in college.

completely rebuilt and refurbished,

Southside bar.

answers to what life is about? immediately

and are l i n k e d by

studio

The

a lot?

15,000 records and

extremes o f F r e s h e r s ' W e e k , but i f

suffering

p r o v i d e d by the U n i o n is I C R a d i o .

exams?

reached o v e r

m i n d h a v i n g a go or that y o u c o u l d

L i f e , the universe and everything?

final

and our extensive music library has

the

probably

One

strings...Probably

wouldn't

the Now

saying

yourself, ' C u t e , another little advert for

religion.

You

can

have

the

answer to the ultimate questions o f existence!...' W e l l it's rather awkward, but, the truth is something like that. In fact, Christianity provide

does

the

not

truth

claim

about

man's

existence. It's not quite as easy as sending in a self-addressed envelope and getting back s i m p l e answers to universal

questions.

Perplexities

r e m a i n . Questions still rise, in fact discovering truth always raises new questions. But, Christianity is truth. It's

hard,

substantial,

weighty

enough truth to have captured the minds

and

Augustine, Newton. broad

imaginations

Aquinas, deep

It's

enough

Pascal

and

enough

and

have

been

the

foundation o f W e s t e r n c i v i l i s a t i o n for most o f the last two m i l l e n n i a . T h e c o r e o f this truth is simple enough to be grasped by a child and p r o f o u n d e n o u g h to feed poets and

Help, Help!

Mint

philosophers through the ages; there is a person b e h i n d what we see and

L o n d o n N i g h t l i n e , the night time

for

experience and that person

confidential

reference

files,

i nf ormati on service run by and for

everything

from

students

nightbus

cares

about y o u . G o d loves y o u . If that's true, it's worth k n o w i n g .

listening

from,

If H e ' s true, H e ' s worth k n o w i n g .

polytechnics

A lot o f people, many o f them sane,

l o o k i n g for new

reasonable

across

London,

and is

Nightline's

which legal

timetables

cover

rights

and

'What's

O n ' in L o n d o n to phone

numbers

Sauce

o f halls o f residence. T h e training

volunteers.

T w o volunteers m a n the phones

believe they do know H i m , and that

in the Nightline Office at U L U from

k n o w i n g G o d is the sweetest thing

6pm

possible.

termtime. A f t e r an initial training

but

and probationary period lasting one

volunteer i n v o l v e s , N i g h t l i n e

worth

t e r m , each i n d i v i d u a l is o n duty o n

holding an Introductory M e e t i n g o n

o f a n o v i c e F . B . I agent.

about

T h u r s d a y 17th O c t o b e r at 7 . 3 0 p m

Starling (Jodie Foster)is forced to

truth

profoundly

even

colleges

information f r o m

intelligent

The

and

isn't

good.

easy, Is

l o o k i n g into? If y o u are interested in k n o w i n g m o r e we

are r u n n i n g a series o f

presentations and discussions o n the core

facts

Christianity

every

to 8 a m every

four

p r o g r a m m e also covers this aspect

F i l m S o c ' s first f i l m this year is

o f the w o r k .

Jonathan D e m m e ' s terrifying tour

night d u r i n g

nights a term and in

If y o u are interested in finding out about

what

becoming

a are

o f the m i n d o f the serial k i l l e r . Silence

of the Lambs

in r o o m 3 A , U L U B u i l d i n g , M a l e t

seek help f r o m insane psychiatrist,

training sessions three times a term.

Street, W l .

Hannibal

Volunteers

must

remain

A l l are

welcome.

Alternatively have a chat with one

phoning Nightline o n 071-436 5561

the process Starling discovers the

the

volunteers

duty

confidentiality

o n 0 7 1 - 5 8 4 2933 or through m y

desire to help others by listening

Haddock,

pigeonhole.

without j u d g i n g them or t r y i n g to

coordinator o f L o n d o n Nightline o n

life.

solve their p r o b l e m s .

the ansaphone d u r i n g the day.

viewing

ICU

O u t r e a c h , B i o c h e m 2.

Christian

all

calls. just

Bill a

psychotic who skins his v i c t i m s . In

experience

necessary

(Anthony

anonymous and respect the absolute is

the C a n n i b a l

H o p k i n s ) , to catch Buffalo

E l e c E n g 508 or y o u can contact me

Quant,

Clarence

addition is asked to attend o n g o i n g

T u e s d a y f r o m O c t 8 at 1 2 . 3 0 p m in

Ben

is an 'edge o f

the seat' ride through the first case

S o m e calls are s i m p l y requests

leave

message

this

year's

for

Rob

sabbatical

nature o f the mass

murderer

H a n n i b a l ' s e x p l o r a t i o n o f her o w n Hideous,

yet

compulsive

in M e c h . E n g . 220 at 7

o ' c l o c k o n T h u r s d a y 10 O c t o b e r

Felix 911

Feature

N e w c o m e r s to the college are often

4 October 1991

L i b r a r y (books, p e r i o d i c a l s , m u s i c

collections o f particular significance

surprised to learn that Imperial has

scores

are

a non-scientific l i b r a r y . In fact, a

currently open f r o m

general

4 . 0 0 p m , M o n d a y to F r i d a y , but it

cultural

collection

has

and

sound

recordings)

1 1 , 0 0 a m to

and

popular

both

music

which

are

financed by the Students' U n i o n and

existed in some shape or f o r m since

is h o p e d that these hours w i l l be

selected

around the time that H . G .

extended

M u s i c L i b r a r y houses printed music

chamber

Wells

urged students to ' s h o w that they

during

the

course

The

Haldane

( including

session 1991-92.

were not b a r b a r i a n s ' . T h e present

Library

aims

student buyers. a

good

music

cater for all tastes and it w o u l d be

cassettes,

B H a l d a n e , politician, Renaissance

impossible to describe its contents

recordings

m a n , and an instigator o f the merger

exhaustively. M o s t conspicuous are

classical

such subjects as politics, history,

already m e n t i o n e d .

constituent colleges.

Haldane

Library

has

The

the

dual

travel,

function o f p r o v i d i n g a w i d e range

biography,

music,

art

history, p h i l o s o p h y , and literature,

o f general reading for all m e m b e r s

but there is m u c h m o r e

o f the C o l l e g e , and supporting the

T h e r e are, for e x a m p l e ,

teaching and other activities o f the

sections

Humanities

sport,

programme.

besides. well-used

consumer

geneology,

matters,

transport,

some in

and

The

selection spoken

word

addition

popular

language

parts),

H a l d a n e L i b r a r y is named after R

of IC's

the

recordings

D a i l y newspapers (the Times,

the

Financial Times, the Guardian, the Independent and the Daily are taken, as well as a

Telegraph) wide

range

magazines

and

periodicals ( including Autocar

and

Motor, Private Eye, New Left Review, Newsweek, Great Outdoors, Britain Events a n d

T h e H al dane Library Janet

fiction

recordings,

some o f them financed by

Which), the

Smith,

Union.

Some

subscriptions

support

taught

courses,

history

periodicals, There

L'Express.

notably and

Stern

are

Ordnance

Survey and other maps, atlases, and

Haldane

good

reference

addition,

the

collection.

library

receives

selection o f p u b l i c i t y material o f

Librarian,

theatres, concerts, and other events in L o n d o n . T h e library also hosts

introduces

o c c a s i o n a l poetry

the

readings.

It remains to say that we welcome new users and are always glad to consider

library's

suggestions

for

purchases and to f o r w a r d

ne w

requests

for new fiction titles and popular

facilities

sound

recordings

the

Union

buyers, who are still to be appointed for this year. T h e H a l d a n e L i b r a r y staff

are

Janet

Librarian;

Jane

Smith, Agnew,

Haldane Senior

Assistant; and a half-time M u s i c Assistant

who

appointed.

is look

yet

forward

be to

meeting y o u ! T h e H a l d a n e L i b r a r y is situated

feminism,

religion

and

o n L e v e l 2 o f the C e n t r a l L i b r a r i e s

Beyond

and is accessible f r o m the entrance

b r o w s e to d i s c o v e r

opposite the Q u e e n ' s T o w e r

from

Fridays

(9.30am between

entrance 4.00pm during

5.30pm

11.00am

Mondays

term (vacation

shorter).

The

library

from

the

desk

on Level

o f the

of psychology,

range

most requested

authors

this

Fridays

well as, m o r e predictably, U m b e r t o

are

Eco

and

Tom

Wolfe.

Two

card,

registration

1 o f the

Postgraduates

library,

please note

scores), two records or cassettes (or one o f each), and 2 compact discs.

The Maths Advice Centre gives guidance to PGs on mathematical problems connected with their research projects. Please contact: Dr Geoff Stephenson, Room 6M24, Maths Dept. Tel: 5752 for an informal discussion of your problem.

F o r C D s a contribution o f 50p per issues is requested; this is to provide for further purchases and security in the c o l l e c t i o n , w h i c h was set up by means o f grants and voluntary Books

some

year have included Nostradamus, as

books (including maps and m u s i c

borrowed

humour. worth

f r o m giants to E g y p t i a n g r a m m a r . The

permits the b o r r o w i n g o f up to four

contributions.

well

and

hours

obtainable

the fringes

and f r o m the L e v e l 2

it is

curiositites, w h i c h , quite apart from

9 . 3 0 a m to 9 . 0 0 p m o n M o n d a y s to Saturdays)

this

may

for one t e r m , and

are

issued f r o m the m a i n issue counter o n L e v e l 1. S o u n d recordings are issued for three weeks f r o m

the

sound recordings issue desk in the H a l d a n e L i b r a r y itself. T h e M u s i c

BRITISH RED C R O S S

Imperial College First A i d Course A standard First Aid Course under the Health and Safety at Work Act will be held on Monday October 7th. If you are interested, come along to the Holland Club at 6pm Please note that numbers are very limited. Applications will be accepted on a 'first-come-first-served' basis that evening. Hope to see you then Roger Serpell Group Leader

4 October 1991

Felix 911

Feature

Does global warming present a

trapping more carbon? T h e experts

main electricity consumers), than to

problem?

scientists

think not. Plant growth depends o n

build

scaremongering? W h a t will happen

nutrient availability, w h i c h may not

Information about efficient energy

if c a r b o n d i o x i d e release into the

increase.

(which

use is needed to increase c o n s u m e r

atmosphere is not curbed? W h a t is

releases c a r b o n dioxide) o f plants

awareness o f the cost-effectiveness

Are

Respiration

new

power

stations.

emissions?

and soil m i c r o b e s is stimulated by

o f insulation measures, and the use

Questions like these will be tackled

w a r m i n g more than photosynthesis

o f renewable-energy sources, which

by D r Jeremy Leggett, a research

(which locks up carbon). T o a v o i d

can c o m p l e t e l y replace fossil and

director

mass extinction, plant species w i l l

nuclear fuels. '.. . T e c h n o l o g y exists

earth

have to migrate many times faster

that c a n produc e electricity or any

Imperial

than is s h o w n by the fossil r e c o r d

temperature

and

degrees C )

the

cost

limiting

for

International

Greenpeace

and

former

sciences

lecturer

College,

Wednesday.

modern

experiments.

heat

(up

1,400

directly f r o m

natural

p r e v i e w some o f the answers f r o m his b o o k

'Global

Greenpeace

Warming

- the

Report'

G l o b a l w a r m i n g often appears to be presented in two different ways. The

greens

are

viewed

Insulate Moreover,

increase

global

resources

available

remote

and

temperature will mean much greater

location in nearly any country. T h e

prescribe lifestyles unacceptable to

variability in weather patterns: we

demand

transporting

distance stream o f fuel or running

harbingers

catastrophe

long-

flooding,

huge

harvest failure and reduced lowland

long-distance

quantities o f m o n e y o n a p r o b l e m

rainfall. In addition, pests that die

transmission lines - or emitting vast

that might not materialise.

in c o l d winters may s u r v i v e , and

quantities o f greenhouse

spent

storms,

a continuous,

can

drought,

gases...

T h e r e is no qualification needed for

sweep across a world competing for

these statements. T e c h n i c a l l y , it is

clearly and apolitically, the m i d d l e

clean water supplies. T h e outlook

possible. E c o n o m i c a l l y , it is a more

road. T h e broad scientific basis to

seems

global

warming

the

fairly

disease

epidemics

are

likely

limited situation, but not nearly as

bleak.

most

well

observers

and

analysts

the street' find hard to understand

stopped

usage, but diverted some o f that

concept

scientific

subsidising towards

fossil

fuel

money

error limits. G i v e n that even the

usage

simplest measurement is subject to

greenhouse effect c o u l d largely be

uncertainty, how m u c h more so the

mitigated.

'...Many

renewable

energy,

the

climatic

modelling.

T h e industrial revolutions o f the

somehow

first world involved relatively small

understress the fact that the s w o r d

populations, hence relatively small

o f uncertainty has two blades: that

release o f c a r b o n d i o x i d e . O l d and

is,

inefficient technology in a C h i n e s e

physical

b i o l o g i c a l processes w h i c h make it

industrial revolution w o u l d result in

possible for the present generation

the release o f huge quantities o f

o f models to have

greenhouse

overestimated

future w a r m i n g effects, are just as

gases.

Since

g r o w , the first w o r l d must supply the appropriate technologies,

p r o b l e m is c o m p o u n d e d by the fact

encourage them to use it. A f t e r a l l ,

that natural weather variations are

W h a t can be done? A d v o c a t e s o f

why

build p o w e r

up the initial stages o f a trend to a

w a r m reception. It is o b v i o u s that

cost

warmer

the output o f c a r b o n d i o x i d e (and

environmental) y o u can built m i c r o -

h o w e v e r , is that the atmospheric

other

grids

concentration o f c a r b o n d i o x i d e is

dramatically curtailed to prevent a

rarely

pollutants)

get a

must

very high, and is increasing rapidly.

rapid change in the earth's average

Analyses o f cores taken from the ice

temperature.

caps show that high carbon dioxide

wrong

levels are associated with

higher

earth temperatures. M a n y people argue that global warming

may

a good

thing.

What the

is completely

conception

that

(both supplied

economic from

and

renewable

resources? If

the

world

carries

with

'business-as-usual',

the effects

global

will

warming

not

reduced output is g o i n g to cost a

pleasant.

huge sum o f money. T h e West must

problem is already available, and at

is increase efficiency o f energy use,

less cost. People and governments

a measure

must turn their backs o n expensive

that in the long term

saves

will surely b e c o m e fertile, and the

generally cheaper today to save fuel

efficiency, think renewable, think

increased

carbon

will

than to b u r n it. A v o i d i n g p o l l u t i o n

long-term.

stimulate

plant

thus

'Global Warming - the Greenpeace Report', edited by Jeremy Leggett, was published in 1990 by the Oxford University Press.

not

money.

burning

the

'...It

fuel

But the solution to the

actually

dioxide

can

therefore be achieved, not at a cost,

Dr Jeremy Leggett is the first speaker in this year's Physics Departmental Colloquia series. Entitled 'Global Warming: A Climate of Change', the colloquia is on Wednesday (9 October) at 1.15pm in Lecture Theatre 1, level 3, Physics Department.

profit... '

national g r i d , w h e n , for a smaller

A f t e r a l l , c o l d areas in the w o r l d

growth,

a cost, but at a

stations and a

sackcloth and ashes

certain,

not at

and

large, so that it is difficult to p i c k is

achieved,

lesser-

have underestimated change. . .' T h e

What

can therefore

developed countries ( L D C s ) want to

likely to have caused the models to

earth.

the fuel

â&#x20AC;˘

critiques

uncertainties

burning

energy-efficient

uncertainty, the uses o f figures with

problem

by not

b e l i e v e . . . ' Indeed, if governments

k n o w n , but what most 'people on the

pollution

electric-power

G r e e n p e a c e R e p o r t ' presents, very

'Global

'Avoiding

without

most people. T h e other view is that pointless

satisfied

the scientists are being alarmist, that is

expect

c a n be

but at a profit - so this result can and should be w i d e l y

i m pl e m e nted in

and finite fossil fuels,

and think

the m a r k e t - p l a c e . . . ' A chapter o n energy

efficiency

Warming'

demonstrates

'Global how

electricity-generating utilities find it cheaper

subsidise

energy-

efficient lighting and motors

(the

â&#x20AC;&#x201D;

to Shiver

Feature

Felix 911

4 October 1991

In the year of our lord 1991 there

S o m e o f these are less likely than

star c u r l i n g etc) offers m o r e return

Friday,

others. F o r e x a m p l e , 22 is a really

than a r a n d o m visit to a L o n d o n

Hippodrome,

that strove to b r i n g y o u news o f

bad idea. A s is anything to do with

cinema. T o p i c k the best film to see

what goes o n in this funky

town

sex. N o , hang o n , that's w r o n g , sex

anyw ay?) .

is a G O O D idea, it's just less likely

impartial reviews c o m e in F e l i x in

High

than the others 'spesh at Imperial.

easy to read prose with pictures and

A r t s , in y o u r pants, out o f y o u r

strangers. (If y o u fantasise that y o u r

(erished) students and have little in

If y o u like females

e v e r y t h i n g and t h e y ' r e really g o o d

head, with y o u r newt. L o n d o n has

partner is a newt then g o o d l u c k to

the way o f fiscal embellishments, it

there aren't enough to g o

round

and m y mate says h e ' s met one o f

clubs o o z i n g f r o m every pustule; a

you. )

might be handy for y o u i f we give

(bang goes all non-sexist b r o w n i e

the reviewers and everything and

lot o f the better ones give out flyers

M i l k . L o v e it or hate it it'll get

y o u the benefit o f o u r accumulated

points. B R O W N I E S ! ) T h e figures

they're great.

in record shops etc. w h i c h make the

y o u in the e n d . W h i t e and honest

wisdom.

go 5000 people here, 4000 blokes

did Funky T o w n

Since

most

Thirty

simple

you

are

ways

impov

enjoy

y o u r s e l f at Imperial C o l l e g e :

(human) then

(read blerks). W o r k out the rest y o u sad

sacks.

suggest

all

you

find

the

most

accurate

and

Theatre in L o n d o n is often cheap

Living in London Gerbil

Machine

passes

on some words of wisdom living 'Big

for

in the Smoke'

events,

the Jack's

above,

Wiggling

Emporium,

South

vi rgi ni ty will not make y o u shave

Kensington

subway,

School

pleasure

and

three

hours

Webber came

Andrew

drivel.

here

certainly

you

told

highlights

When

the back) and sell books to complete

entrance prices m o r e bearable.

with a c r e a m y top and a c h o i c e o f

Taking

semi,

pasturised

and

N o r m a n y o u ' l l be in a spin to find

c o n n e d into b u y i n g a twenty-piece

anything better o n y o u r cornflakes.

d i n n e r set. It happens

It looks g o o d , tastes g o o d , and by

Dav)

(Hi

m o r e often than y o u

would

g o l l y it does y o u credit missus. M u s i c . Y o u can't stop the music.

T h a t ' s one out o f the eight people

N o b o d y can stop the music. T e l l the

the

in o u r h o u s e h o l d , therefore

birds

was

its

his

sound

think ie. once to

there

almost

one

London

first

skimmed,

ourknowledge.

were

that

Lloyd-

you

your

y o u r head (except for a tufty bit at

exciting as it should be. D o n ' t be

losing

the

tickets at the last minute. It can open vistas

although

Performing

outside

the

about

'Don't

sing!' Tell

the sun

nine hundred thousand people in the

' D o n ' t shine!' Because that's easier

Greater

to d o .

London Area

have

been

a d v i c e , most o f y o u w i l l never go.

caught this way (statistics), so watch

y o u ' r e all such enlightened people

That's probably

don't

out ! Y o u w i l l o n l y be able to buy

exhibitions in L o n d o n . S o m e

3. Sex with an animate partner

(hi

k n o w anything about theatre. Jonty

anything y o u want (if y o u l o o k in

permanant

4. Sex with a business partner

y o u ' l l find out).

does, he's the Theatre S u b - E d i t o r

right places) and cash is the o n l v

W o r l d o f Records in the T r o c a d e r o ,

thingy, ask h i m .

limit. F r o m records to G u i n n e s s .

1. Sex

geologists

2. Sex with a partner

5. Getting pissed as/with/on a

out there g o gay since

there freshers,

Ladies!

you

in-house enjoy

gag, be i ng

- h e l l , we

T h e r e are loads (read lerds) o f are

such as the G u i n n e s s

some are temporary like last y e a r ' s

newt

pursued

for

L e g o M o t o r S h o w at the Science

7. G o i n g to the flicks

miles who fancies himself? Thought

M u s e u m , and some are imaginary

8. G o i n g to the c i n e m a

so.

9. G o i n g to a play

every

piss-artist

Feature

mention that sex will d o many o f the

Whistling

Shopping . O x f o r d Street is not as

THEATRE.

Flying

Ents

buy

new

as the c i n e m a i f y o u

experience or merely subject y o u to

Cynical

Felix 911

came a great storm in the wilderness

(who

The

4 October 1991

the

Kim

Basinger

Nude

exhibition in H y d e P a r k (pause for

T h a t ' s w h y , pausing only to vent

10. G o i n g to A l t o n T o w e r s

our wrath, we r e c o m m e n d y o u find

reflection. C o m b hair). T h e Science

11. B o o g i e i n g the night away

an agreeable a m p h i b i a n friend to

M u s e u m is smashing super l o v e l y

12. A s

imitate in alcoholic exellence. T h i s

because

the

manage to c o m b i n e it with l o o n y -

is best done in one o f the U n i o n

Imperial a l l u m n i y o u w i l l get free

spotting. If y o u d o n ' t get offered a

13. D a n c e y o u r s e l f d i z z y ( L i q u i d

bars.

D o y o u like to pay

a d m i s s i o n . If scientifically m i n d e d

gol d c h a i n o n y o u r way

Gold,

o v e r two pounds for a lager? If not

then there is lots to see , i f not then

have to beat up small children it will

14. S h o p

then avoid pubs and head for the o n -

y o u ' r e at the w r o n g college.

The

be an unusual trip indeed. A n o t h e r

15. I m p r o v e y o u r m i n d

site bars. Southside (college bar) is

Natural H i s t o r y M u s e u m w o u l d n ' t

bonus o f the K e n s i n g t o n store is

16. T a k e up Z e n B u d d h i s m

dark, m o o d y and full o f good vibes

give y o u free entry if y o u were K i m

celeb-spotting; W i l l i e Rushton! Jan

17. Sex

(personal o p i n i o n ) . P i c k the right

B a s i n g e r nude (spot m y hang

18. M i l k

night and y o u ' l l find a d i s c o that

kids). If y o u should be w a n d e r i n g

11, but with a newt

(see

5) 1972)

WHY?

19. M u s i c (in-house)

avoids disco muzak. T h e U n i o n bar

wistfully

2 0 . M u s i c (out-house)

in the Beit Q u a d is more cliquey and

anyway

member

through

Hyde

Park

then make it o n Sundays

2 1 . Sex (have we mentioned this

a l c o h o l i c but has a friendly c r o w d

because then y o u get to laugh at the

yet?)

o f regulars with a s m i l e and a song

sad cases at Speaker's C o r n e r (Free

22. H i ! A m a z i n g M a c h i n e ,

for every honest artisan.

N e l s o n M a n d e l a , Jesus Is N o t O n l y

Aries, Bryan A d a m s look-alike

Alive

G o i n g to the c i n e m a in L o n d o n

But

He's

Me,

Socialist

w i l l d o e v e r y t h i n g for y o u . B o x

is an experience w h i c h can hurt y o u

W o r k e r Student Party etc) and j o i n

12, F e l i x .

badly in the wallet unless y o u p i c k

in i f y o u like. Y o u m a y e v e n meet

2 3 . C h e c k out the exhibitions

carefully. F o r a start, it's always

the gentlemen f r o m H M V

24. C h e c k out the exhibitionists

worth m a k i n g sure y o u really want

try. W h i l e

w e ' r e o n the

25. C h e c k out at S a i n s b u r y ' s

to see whatever it is y o u ' r e g o i n g

remember

you

26. J o i n a soc

to see because an average show w i l l

protein and suppress y o u r carnal

2 7 . W e a r a sock

leave y o u emotionally, morally and

28. C r a p gag! C r a p gag!

physically

about

five

pounds

you

been

watching

lighter. It is possible to find cheaper

Thunderbirds?

30. Sex with an animate newt

cinemas than this by : xviii) g o i n g

c o i n c i d e n c e there used to be G e r r y

engaged in a theatrical venture

to the k i n d o f f i l m that y o u g o to

Anderson

with y o u at S a i n s b u r y ' s T h e

by yourself; xvii) g o i n g too early ;

T o w e r s , and he d i d T h u n d e r b i r d s .

M o v i e with a sock at the premiere o f C a n ' t Stop T h e

Seattle.

M u s i c with the V i l l a g e

(discussing c o d f i s h , celebrity a l l -

People.

flying In

Virgin fact

Atlantic

almost

eat

less

urges. F o r further information o n Have

2 9 . C r a p gags

xvi)

should

if you subject,

exhibition

amazing at

Alton

clothes to horses, books to bonfires, c o m i c s to rubber and leather a-gogo.

expand,

reanimate,

exhilarate, exterminate, redecorate

A l t o n T o w e r s (Stafford) is great fun

y o u r m i n d . T h e r e are

anything

and m a r v e l l o u s value at under ÂŁ9

ways o f d o i n g this. M o s t o f these

for

involve

a day

frolics

and

coaster

adventures.

speaking

Alton

Towers

roller-

Strictly isn't

brightly

highly c o n s p i c u o u s gentleman o n Oxford

Bamboleo!

Improve,

this valuable dietary insight ask the

numerous

coloured

disco

biscuits o f one variety or another. A l t e r n a t i v e l y y o u c a n take up Z e n

L o n d o n but there is a model o f B i g

B u d d h i s m , a course o f action w h i c h

B e n in the ' R o u n d the W o r l d ' crazy

y o u c a n easily take up if the bald

Street.

The

researched c l a i m that Jesus c a m e f r o m V e n u s , visit Imperial

every

year W i t h E v i d e n c e . In the same so

does

Education. entertaining.

the

He's It's

Minister not

from

Howard's

Way!

T h e y ' r e all there kids! There

are

enough

societies

Imperial to shake rather a large stick at. If y o u d o anything that there isn't a soc for then either start o n e , o r realize y o u ' r e a p e r v y and lurk a while. T h e freshers fair shows y o u what's

available

telling. W e a r i n g pastime.

we're

not

socks is a great

Warm

toes,

enclosed

ankles, something to make holes in. C r a p gags are what we d o ,

half past one or half past two, S o m e for us and some for y o u , D o o b e e doobee doobee d o o .

Aetherius

S o c i e t y , best k n o w n for their w e l l -

vein,

Howard

out and

quite

poor

day

For as in

L o n d o n i f y o u d o n ' t spot at least one l o o n y .

A Guide Sex with an animated newt.. .etc. If y o u try this, y o u really haven't got the hang o f this recreation lark, have y o u ? R e m e m b e r , i f y o u c a n ' t

golf. In fact B i g B e n is only the

gentlemen outside H M V catch y o u .

name o f the bell and the c l o c k is

One

this

not sound so e x c i t i n g , but bear in

to have sex w i t h , w h y

only

method is that with the right cocktail

m i n d other places that y o u c h e c k

business partner? In A u s t r a l i a sex

y o u c a n easily generate y o u r o w n

out of. C h e c k i n g out o f y o u r suite

is a collective name for c l oth bags.

newt

at the H i l t o n , out o f intensive care,

Westminster

Palace

clock

tower. Dancing

is great

way

lose

the

advantages

join

you

your

C h e c k i n g out at S a i n s b u r y ' s m a y

find a friend (or an consenting newt)

pharmaceutical/philosophical

all exciting places and there's no

remember

as g o o d as eating c e l e r y . T h e r e are

adventure.

A t this point it m a y

reason y o u shouldn't add y o u r local

some. A

places

Southside

bar

you're flatworm's

luckier

than

penis c o m e s

such

(although it's unlikely) be relevant

supermarket to this list. Q u i t e apart

out o f its mouth and is a c c o r d e d

Thursday

(big

f r o m anything else, y o u ' l l probably

with spikes and p o i s o n glands.

dance

not try a

F i n a l l y , if all this gets y o u d o w n ,

weight and tone muscle. It's almost many

grey

thing with a trunk)

Far Left, Dancing Left, Sex Above, Duck

â&#x20AC;&#x201D;7â&#x20AC;&#x201D;

Felix 911

4 October 1991

Six aspiring young travel writers can w i n a trip to the E a s t The best w i n s a t r i p to the E a s t E n d o f L o n d o n If y o u ' r e

25 or under

a n d y o u like t o write, a n d

the subject matter, but the actual quality o f y o u r w r i t i n g .

particularly if y o u want a career in journalism, try your

T h e Prizes. S i x f i n a l i s t s w i l l b e c h o s e n t o g o o n a n

h a n d at T h e D a i l y T e l e g r a p h ' s ' Y o u n g T r a v e l W r i t e r o f t h e

expenses p a i d press trip t o the F a r E a s t , c o u r t e s y o f T h e

Y e a r ' c o m p e t i t i o n . If y o u w i n t h e t i t l e , T h e D a i l y T e l e g r a p h

D a i l y T e l e g r a p h a n d C a t h a y Pacific. A f t e r y o u r trip y o u

w i l l c o m m i s s i o n y o u t o w r i t e 3 o r 4 pieces for o u r travel

w i l l be a s k e d t o s u b m i t a n o t h e r 1,000 w o r d p i e c e . T h e n ,

s e c t i o n ( p a i d , o f c o u r s e ) . T h a t is a b o u t

we c h o o s e the winner.

the best

break

i n t o j o u r n a l i s m we're aw are of.

Write

The Competition. Y o u have to s u b m i t a 500 w o r d

Young

article o n a travel t h e m e ; about a place; o r a j o u r n e y for i n s t a n c e . It c a n b e r e a l , f r o m e x p e r i e n c e , o r i m a g i n a r y . W h a t w i l l c o u n t is n o t t h e d e s t i n a t i o n , o r

for the full

Travel Writer

Department, M

details

to: T h e Daily

of the Year

L o n d o n E14 9SR, or telephone

CATHAY PACIFIC

Award,

T h e Daily Telegraph,

Telegraph Marketing

181 M a r s h

071 538 6 9 6 6 ,

M o n d a y D e c e m b e r 16 1 9 9 1 .

Wall, before

4 October 1991

Felix 911

What's On

What's On in College A n up-to-the-minute guide to

Keep F i t

events in and around Imperial

Southside G y m .

5.30pm

C o l l e g e . If y o u w o u l d like an

Intermediate Rock V JCR.

send us copy by the M o n d a y

A f r o - C a r i b Meeting

p r i o r to publication at the very

Concert Hall.

Roll.6.00pm 6.00pm

Kung 6.30pm

Beginners Rock V

changed for any reason please

JCR.

c o m e in and see us a n d we w i l l

I C Shotokan Karate

Roll

7.30pm

Nam Pai Chuan

7.30pm

Basketball C l u b

12.30pm

8.00pm

JCR.

12.30pm

Huxley 413. Conservative Soc

12.30pm

Physics 737.

Keep Fit

12.40pm

Union Lounge.

TUESDAY

7.30pm

Chaplains Office (10 Prince's

Midweek

C . U . Prayer Meeting Essential

Christianity

1.00pm

Riding C l u b Meeting

Southside G y m . See Islamic Society.

Southside Upper Lounge.

Kung

4.30pm

AudioSoc

5.00pm

Radio Modellers

Union G y m .

8.30am

Gardens). H G Wells W i n e & Cheese...6.00pm

7.30pm

Union Lounge. Ground Floor.

Improvers JCR.

12.30pm

YHA

12.30pm

Postgrad L u n c h

Southside Upper Lounge.

12.30pm

308 Computing.

Mech Eng 702. Followed by lunch.

Sports Centre.

Sailing C l u b

7.00pm

I C Shotokan Karate

7.30pm

12.30pm

Southside G y m .

12.30pm

JCR.

Intermediate

Ballroom

Chaplains Office (10 Princes

Southside

Gardens).

Southside Bar.

Fencing T r a i n i n g 12.30pm

Ballroom

12.30pm

Beginners Training.

Disco

8.00pm 8.30pm

I C C A G Soup R u n

9.15pm

Meet Weeks Hall Basement.

12.30pm

Southside Lounge.

Fencing C l u b T r a i n i n g

6.40pm

Women's group meeting...12.30pm

Club training.

Union Dining Hall.

Shaolin System

PhotoSoc

N a m Pai C h u a n

7.30pm

Southside G y m . 7.30pm

Sports Centre.

Southside Lounge.

Disco

8.30pm

1.30pm

Career's Fair

5.30pm

Marquee on Queen's Lawn 15th and 16th October

Huxley L T 213. Radio

Modellers

Mech Eng. Keep F i t

Southside Bar.

Imperial College Union

1.00pm

Career's T a l k

Water Polo

5.30pm

Southside G y m . Amenesty

SATURDAY

International

5.30pm

Small Ads

Clubs Committee Room.

Kung F u Club

4.30pm

Wine Tasting Soc

Wu Shu Kwan in Southside G y m .

Union Lounge.

I C Shotokan Karate

Improvers

10.00pm

6.00pm

SELF-DEFENCE SESSIONS e e 0 m s h k w

Ballroom

• W h o is this Jake S m i t h a n y w a y ?

6.00pm

JCR.

Southside G y m .

Canoe

Club

6.15pm

Career's Corner

Beit Quad store or 8.30pm in

SUNDAY

Southside Upper Lounge. 10.00am

Judo

6.30pm

Anteroom Sherfield Building.

Union G y m .

Catholic Chaplaincy Mass. 11.00am

I C S F F i l m 'Flatliners'

53 Cromwell Road.

Mech Eng 220. I C S F members only. 1.00pm

Membership £2.50.

4.30pm

JCR.

UDH.

7.00pm

Final

Ballroom Bronze M e d a l

Wu Shu Kwan in the Union G y m .

Yoga

Catholic Mass 53 Cromwell Road.

Southside G y m .

6.00pm

year

undergraduates

and

postgraduates should have received

7.00pm

a personal c o p y o f the Graduate Recruitment P r o g r a m m e

8.00pm

and the

Programme o f Events. T h e r e are two Careers T a l k s this c o m i n g week in L T 213 H u x l e y at

WEDNESDAY Keep F i t

MONDAY

1.30 - 2 . 2 0 p m : • Tuesday 8th October. Introducing

12.30pm

the C a r e e r s A d v i s o r y S e r v i c e b y

Southside G y m . 12.30pm

Southside Upper Lounge. Basketball C l u b

Meeting

Southside Upper Lounge.

Cathsoc

6.30pm

12.30pm

Ballroom....6.00pm

Beginners

JCR.

Balloon C l u b Meeting

Southside Lounge.

Swimming

11.30am

Intermediate & advanced coaching.

Christian Union Meeting....6.00pm

Mass

Southside G y m . New

12.30pm

413 Maths.

RockSoc Meeting

5.30pm

Kung F u Club

Fencing T r a i n i n g

SCR.

C . U . Prayer Meeting

Kung F u Club

Service

Volleyball Court. Women's Team

THURSDAY

Mech Eng 508.

Prayers

Wargames

5.30pm

Southside G y m

Union G y m . W u Shu Kwan.

Chaplain's Office

R a g Meeting

Sunday Service

Union Clubs Committee Room. T o p

Everyone welcome.

Yacht C l u b Meeting

Southside

1.00pm

Aero 266.

7.00pm

Southside Upper Lounge.

Friday

1.30pm

Floor.

Southside G y m .

Latin American

Career's T a l k

3rd W o r l d Cheese & Wine..5.30pm 6.30pm

Shaolin System

Sports Centre.

H a n g Gliding

1.30pm

Swimming Pool.

Southside G y m .

1.30pm

Huxley L T 213.

Union G y m .

7.00pm

Training

Gliding C l u b Meeting

Diving

Water Polo

F RI DAY

1.15pm

Building.

Sports Centre.

but y o u w o u l d like the entry

update o u r files.

M i c r o C l u b Meeting

Fencing General.

Top floor N W corner Union

Swimming

If y o u r c l u b is mentioned here

1.00pm

U D H . A l l welcome.

entry into the W h a t ' s O n c o l u m n

latest.

Wargames

Bike C l u b

John Simpson, Director, I C C A S .

12.45pm

• Thursday 10th October. Graduate

Southside Lounge. 5.30pm

Volleyball Court. Men's Team.

Cycling T r a i n i n g

Study

1.00pm

in the U S A by D r D a v i d

Stuckey , a former U S S c h o l a r .

Meet at Beit A r c h .

Do you look over 30 on Sunday mornings? IC V E T S F O O T B A L L

F o r bi-weekly matches phone R o b Carty on 081-316 9000 (day) or E r i c Hudson 081-337 3200 (eves)

4 October 1991

Felix 911

Letters

Southwell's Shame Dear

Felix,

A s the committee o f Southwell

F i r s t l y , Southwell is a self-catering

that

hall.

w h i c h , despite the efforts

locks, and

H a l l , we are writing to y o u in order

repairing furniture. T h i s figure does

to express our concern at the current

not

condition o f this H a l l . Last year our

wardens, subwardens, and college

concerns

were

promises

countered

work

include

done

b y the

Currently

microwave oven

m e n a n d cleaners.

maintenance

to make.

embarrassment

which

rubbish,

mending

we would

with considerably

as reporting defects, cleaning out

there

is: one

p e r 45 residents; one

for 28 residents;

working

and

c o o k e r element

one

for five

we showed

them

to rooms detailed

p r e v i o u s l y , contained stained and threadbare carpets, peeling paint on the

walls

and ceilings, and

action and

D u r i n g this time 118 m i n o r defects

residents. S e c o n d l y , the rain o v e r

extremely o l d furniture. W e hope

the s u m m e r

that b r i n g i n g this matter to y o u r

swift

(requiring less than 15 minutes to

the last weekend

break. N o n e o f these promises were

repair)

new leaks. W e expect one to three

attention

honoured.

(requiring hours to days to repair)

further

d i s c u s s i o n c o n c e r n i n g the current

m a i nt e na nc e

over

T h i s has resulted i n a

a n d 19 major

defects

leaks

resulted in three every

time

further decline in the state o f the

of an essential nature were reported.

experience

hall despite an increase in the rent

T h i s excludes major faults such as

Finally,

for a single r o o m .

water hammer (?â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Rose), holes and

Southwell and M i n i n g Houses were

cracks in walls, peeling paint, and

amalgamated

shoddy

college promised an upgrade for the

W e a r r i v e d in hall a week early in order to prepare for the arrival

furniture.

T h e two

rainstorm.

years

a g o when

into Southwell

Hall,

maintenance

this

college to l o o k after all the 650 +

materialise. W e could continue, but

rooms in E v e l y n Gardens have been

we believe that w e have made our

working

point.

rearranging rooms

moving and

furniture,

both

a n d the c o m m u n a l

areas.

extremely

major

of the new residents. T r a d i t i o n a l l y has i n v o l v e d

men employed

three

hard.

this year w e have spent

Unfortunately, there are simply not

2 5 0 m a n hours

enough o f them for the task in hand.

engaged in these activities as well

T h e r e are three particular points

However,

approximately

entire

hall.

has y e t to

This

W e were all extremely concerned about

the reactions

o f the

new

residents and their parents. It was

Trust

and h u m o u r . A n y t h i n g but subtle,

about

quotas

than

the

sermonise o n the cold cruelty o f big

through ten positions in as many

Rather,

w e laugh

imagine the rest. T h i s is, o f course, that he dreams o f being b u g g e r e d

feel

like w e ' v e

spent t w o

and have a g o o d

time instead.

was not just a

Truth,

by a snake. being

shown at the I C A .

Red &

Rosy is a c o m i c documentary about dra g

racer

Richard

'Big

things yet to c o m e .

w i d e - eyed innocence to her part o f

surgery with an insatiable addiction

M a r i a - the 17-year o l d

to adrenaline - other p e o p l e ' s . H e

Trust is about two people helping other

stereotypes

that t h e

realise

i m p o s e d o n them are

lends just

enough drop-out

emerges

pregnant slut - that w e have little

still

difficulty

Drag

believing

in her

32 hours o f

from

goes o n to m a r r y Queen,

gorgeous

R o s y , whose

transformation that takes place i n

intellectual

adrenaline powered drag simulator.

the process.

M a t t h e w . M a r t i n D o n o v a n exudes

Together

they

upon by Hartley such as c h i l d abuse

such

terrified

victims

and

anyone not to fall in love with h i m

alcoholism

overemphasised.

touched

never

become

H e retains

light-handed attitude with dialogue

this

snappy

and a bit o f s u r r e a l i s m .

would

with

charm

the help

on-screen

be hard

that for

let alone an

insecure girl like her. T h e island these

two characters

provides

his

metal

T h e issues

empire

scrap

transformation to a bookish pseudo-

not necessarily who they are and the

to lure

continue

to fuel

their

a d d i c t i o n , unaware o f the terrible physiological

consequences

adrenaline abuse and loud m u s i c !

create f o r

Tetsuo (meaning T h e Iron

Man)

themselves in a w o r l d gone m a d on

l i v e hand grenade just i n case he

reality gives us just enough hope for

and metal. A metal fetishist forces

d e c i d e d to c o m m i t suicide or b l o w

humanity yet.

a rusting steel b a r into his thigh.

(Now

really, w h o w o u l d

carry a

up a building?) T h a t ' s part o f the c h a r m o f this m o v i e ; slight quirks keep

the f i l m

just

off-balance

If y o u ' v e ever wanted to laugh at American

suburbia

r i d i c u l o u s stereotypes

a n d the perpetuated

enough for us to laugh in the middle

m o v i e . H e l l - even i f y o u haven't

an abortion scene and not feel

guilty about it later. Matthew played

desperately

trying

the lead

Donovan,

to retain his

- g o see this

a terrifying c o n c o c t i o n o f gore

The

wound

becomes

inevitably

maggot-infested and, in panic, he is injured

by a hit-and-run

Through

telepathy

weirdness,

the v i c t i m

begins to

enjoyment o f the madness created

as both are s l o w l y engulfed by the

i n v i n c i b l e metal the punk loves.

what w e call the 'real Jennifer

world'.

Argabright.

The

â&#x20AC;&#x201D;10^

film

is crude

The Fresh Taste of the Deep Blue Sea Lucullus is London's foremost seafood restaurant. Situated in pleasant surroundings in the heart of Knightsbridge, Lucullus offers its patrons a combination of ambience and gastronomic delight. Our glistening display of fresh seafood is a joy to behold.

driver.

warp and plague the d r i v e r ' s m i n d

s e e Trust

S SEAFOOD RESTAURANT

a n d other

f o r the sincere

Slaughter,

by M a r t i n

this subculture

Mutant

F r i e d m a n . A f t e r a near fatal c r a s h ,

A d r i e n n e Shelley plays his young lover.

Shelley

Hm. The

Red'

one-time thing but an intimation o f

each

mutates

into an erotic p o w e r d r i l l - y o u c a n

putting his s u p e r v i s o r ' s head i n a

with 'messages'

Unbelievable

vise, for example. B y doing this w e

darkest subjects. H i s second attempt The

a n d his fiancee

seconds before his penis

hours i n a c i n e m a being imprinted

film,

driver

perversions

quality. E v e n here Hartley does not

don't

his first

Yours sincerely, Richard Evans, Louise Rickard. Franklin, Guy Karen Young, Natalie Godfrey, Peter Dahili, Lee Jefferson, Phil Shimmin, Simon Day kin, Ian Lee-Prudhoe.

w r e n c h i n g i n its sick

ability to make us laugh at e v e n the that

state o f I C a c c o m m o d a t i o n .

integrity in a w o r l d o f business that

p r o v e n , o n a shoestring budget, his

proves

some

cares

M a t t h e w ' s way o f dealing with it -

Hartley with Trust has yet again

promote

Tetsuo business.

Hal

will

and

gut-

48 Knightsbridge, London SW1 Reservations: 071-245 6622 Open seven days a week 12-3pm and 6-I1.30pm

4 October 1991

Felix 911

Editorial

editona It has b e e n a m a n i c w e e k . I h a v e

m o n e y spinning ideas ever d o . In

evidence that the changes are going

had so m u c h caffeine p u m p e d into

fact it was unanimously agreed that

to help Imperial students, I cannot

A l l those interested in F e l i x should come

my system that I have been b u z z i n g

the proposed changes were bad, and

see

near the c e i l i n g most o f the time.

a number o f individuals commented

supporting

All

that

what

the

Union,

scheme.

today

(Friday)

open to suggestions as to how F e l i x

Sherfield and the Sports Centre say,

should look, what its content should

and

subject. T h e concensus was that all

the facility is the Imperial C o l l e g e

be and w h o wants to get i n v o l v e d

made me feel very o l d . A l l in all it

the clubs that use the facilities are

Sports Centre, not the 'Imperial' or

in what. A l s o , it w o u l d be a fine

has been an emotionally as well as

seriously

' S o u t h K e n s i n g t o n ' Sports C e n t r e .

time to show all the new people the ropes.

intimations o f

and

mortality

the

College

was

pissed

less

off

than

about

the

p h y s i c a l l y and mentally d r a i n i n g

change in prices, arrangements and

The

week.

times o f access, so annoyed in fact

preference,

that they are g o i n g to do something

Marshall's.

T h e Sports Centre T h i s looks like it is going to become

about it. T h i s is a rare o c c u r r e n c e

the

at Imperial

first

cause

celebre

the

- things

have

academic year. T h i s issue contains

seriously bad for students to start

a news story o n the subject, and I

doing

have already r e c e i v e d two

situation

letters

against the proposed changes and a

something

rectify

the

T h e r e is a rather strange c i r c u l a r

former

Career's

managers

along

1.00pm for a staff meeting. I a m

wholly frank and open on the entire

fresh-faced

various

Felix, Despite

enthusiastic first years have g i v e n

these

the

including

the

Staff Meeting

the

Coleman's latter.

plane

Fair

O n e o f the biggest events that the Union

Credits T h a n k s to Stef, J e r e m y , Jonty, the

puts

o n each

year

is the

Unmentionables,

Ian,

R i c h a r d , Ina,

Janet

held on the Q u e e n ' s

R o l a n d , S u m i t , Jennifer,

Lawn

Tuesday

15th

in a and

Smith,

Phillip,

C a r e e r ' s F a i r . T h i s year it w i l l be marquee

David,

James. P i a . Anette and her plant, John

Zoe,

Simpson, Megan.

Matt, P o d d y , B e c c y , all the people

promise o f one f r o m V a l Straw, o f

argument

propounded

W e d n e s d a y 16th O c t o b e r . O v e r 60

w h o submitted stuff for the clubs

C ol l e ge Estates, saying what a good

c o n c e r n i n g the reason for the face

British and international companies

and socs and W h a t ' s O n pages and

will be attending, and final

being

idea they are. N o n e o f these reached

lift.

Felix in time for inclusion (deadline

necessary to attract external sporty

- M o n d a y l u n c h t i m e ) , but they will

types,

wit,

better

which

facilities

presumably

are are

year

this time

recession

needed to finance the building o f the

opportunity o f finding a j o b ought

Sports

better facilities. Z o e H e l l i n g e r has

to be snapped up - even those not

spartan.

is, at best,

Unfortunately

rather vast

said that if the Sports Centre intends

in their final year should have a

investment such as the one proposed

to try to d i g into H a r l i n g t o n T r u s t

snoop.

inevitably

funds,

means

that prices

for

the

Union

will

strongly

students will go up. I believe that

contest it. Students w i l l have to pay

most students w o u l d prefer a basic

for these facilities through increased

sports

afford

prices and restricted access. I fail

rather than a plush one that they

to see the benefit for students since

c o u l d not. If student prices do not

they do not require Jacuzzis, saunas,

centre

they

could

up then their access

sunbeds and extra cafes. T h a t part

allowing

o f the college is very well endowed

outside people to use the facility

with place to buy food and d r i n k ,

increasingly

limited

will

o r i g i n a l l y intended for the students

and most o f the l u x u r y 'health spa'

and staff o f Imperial.

bits c a n be found at the U n i v e r s i t y

Having

attended

Athletic

C l u b s C o m m i t t e e meeting in w h i c h the

subject

was

raised,

has

b e c o m e clear that students s i m p l y do not trust that the progenitors o f this scheme have students' interests at heart. I do not think this is unduly cynical

very

few

college's

o f L o n d o n U n i o n . In any case very few students are g o i n g to have the time to lay for hours in a sunbed, and

those

who

find

warmish

shower a luxury are unlikely to fork out for a J a c u z z i . A cleaner facility w o u l d be nice, though. In

conclusion,

short

people.

any

go in next w e e k ' s . It is true that the Centre

anyone I've forgotten. Particularly the new

students should pay a visit.

Felix

Imperial

produced College

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(Tel:

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Road. 8672).

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Felix

1991.

1040-0711.

HAIRDRESSERS 15A H A R R I N G T O N R O A D , SOUTH KENSINGTON 071-823 8968

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for

a n d is p r i m e d b y t h e I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e

London Editor: Jeremy ISSN

4 October 1991

Felix 911

News

Thieves

Union Building Done Up Students who

have already

made

use o f the U n i o n B u i l d i n g this term

1«M ^Lj % 5 \ ~*\

Catering

T e r r y B r i l e y , security officer, has

C o m m i t t e e and H o u s e C o m m i t t e e

expressed exasperation that people

Union's

Bar

and

(responsible for the upkeep o f the

have still not learned that valuables

received a substantial facelift o v e r

building)

£7,500

left unattended are easy p i c k i n g s .

the summer. T h e entire building has

contribution

College

H e said that the n u m b e r o f wallets

been redecorated and large areas,

authorities.

may

have

including Lounge been

noticed

the and

that

toilets

and

has

Ents.

U n i o n Office,

refitted.

Mandy

have

with

The

only

from

the

questionnaire

followed

circulated

amongst

Hurford,

students w h i c h revealed that many students avoided the union building

cost at about

because

T h e money came mostly from the

gig

stolen were about average for this

move

U n i o n M a n a g e r , estimated the total £60,000.

Lack of licence loses lucrative

the

poor

decor

and

time

year

when

thieves

can

masquerade as freshers with little difficulty. Wallets have been stolen from the Student

Union,

the

Physics

Department, the M a t h s Department

standard o f cleanliness.

and the Health C e n t r e . In all cases the thieves walked into an unlocked office and s i m p l y took them f r o m

EMERGENCY

unattended jackets.

The Union Handbook is required urgently by large numbers of students at Imperial College. Much has not yet been collated and it cannot be done by Union staff and sabbaticals alone. Could all those who wish to help please meet in the Ents Lounge in the Union Building on Monday 7 October at 7pm.

The

Contact Zoe on 3501 or Adam on 3515 if you require more information

Forging

Dramatic Imperial

College

Society,

DramSoc,

windfall

and

Summer.

While

'Theatre

West

contribution

the

Dramatic

had

loss

both

over

the

organising

the

End' the

(TWE)

Edinburgh

F r i n g e festival, they entered a prize d r a w for dramatic societies, and

T h e band

w o n a lighting desk worth £3000.

concert in the U n i o n o n the 9th

O n return from E d i n b u r g h , on the

Ahead

1st September, all the lighting and

October

' L u s h ' , due to play a have

Promoters,

pulled

out.

Metropolis

The

Music,

left in the

b o o k e d what they thought was an

concert h a l l , behind a single l o c k e d

open show with no restrictions o n

d o o r . T h e equipment was c h e c k e d

entry. Imperial College U n i o n is not

sound equipment was

ten

event since the people o n the stall

and all was found to be present o n

permitted

p o u n d notes have been passed to

c o u l d not see the writing due to the

the 3 r d , but w h e n setting up

for

entertainments l i c e n c e , needed for

union

difficult

fresher's week, m u c h was found to

this type o f event, so only students

be m i s s i n g .

o f the college w o u l d be a l l o w e d to

About

fifty pounds in forged facilities

weeks.

the

According

Flannagan;

Union

last to

Bar

two Andy

manager,

such notes are presently

flooding

circumstances.

Ramesh

Patel, assistant bar manager, that

future

provided

for

lamp

the

said

will

benefit

stallholders.

N o r t h and W e s t L o n d o n . T h e forgery was detected w h e n

Roger

Pownall,

Southside

Bar

A n inventory was taken and over £9,000 o f equipment

(replacement

hold

public

attend. Because

this.

Metropolis

cost) was found to be m i s s i n g . T h e

agreed to co-promote the show with

lighting

Imperial C o l l e g e E n t s with tickets

and

audio

gear

was

the B a r ' s takings were sent to the

manager, said that he had not been

described as being ideal for a band

stating 'students and their guests

bank w h i c h informed the police and

offered any forgeries yet, but he had

or small theatre,consisting o f lights,

only'.

the bar o f the fake notes' existence.

seen one and c l a i m e d that 'it looks

and a complete 500 Watt pa system.

continued to set up an open show,

P o l i c e have been i n f o r m e d , but no

against the I C U

A l t h o u g h it is thought that there are

good

some people deliberately using the

distinguishing

notes,

forgeries since they are printed o n

there have

been

cases

but

which

feels

awful'

feature

naive students unwittingly passing

paper

over

genuine note. A m e m b e r o f

a the

is thicker than the

progress has yet been made.

Much

Despite

this,

Metropolis

byelaws.

advertising

had

already

been c i r c u l a t e d, but w h e n the band Tonight

sees

the

second

heard o f the restrictions, they pulled

New

carnival o f the year. A l l the

out o f the show. E n t s C h a i r m a n ,

Scotland Y a r d c o m m e n t e d that a

tickets have been sold except

Graham

student entered the U n i o n B a r and

genuine note had four distinguishing

the hundred w h i c h will be sold

booke d the band, said ' W e spent a

forgeries.

before handed

term, over

On 27

the

Friday

September,

note

which

had

features;

water

mark,

at the entrance to Beit Q u a d at

lot o f time trying to rescue it, but

the time.

there's nothing we c o u l d d o ' .

d o w n the centre. It was immediately

paper and quality print. H e added

returned to the disconcerted student

that no forgery had all four o f these

restrict the n u m b e r o f people

w h o c l a i m e d he had no k n o w l e d g e

qualities. H e said further that he did

a l o w e d in the U n i o n B u i l d i n g

that the note was a forgery.

not consider the forgeries taken by

at any one time, entrance to the

A t the R o y a l C o l l e g e o f Science

Imperial C o l l e g e U n i o n to be part

U n i o n B u i l d i n g on all carnival

U n i o n C a r n i v a l on M o n d a y night,

o f the £5m haul o f £10 and £50

nights is by ticket only along

British R a i l are offering half price

two notes with the w o r d

'forgery'

notes made in H a r l o w , Essex, in the

with a student u n i o n c a r d .

Y o u n g P e r s o n ' s R a i l c a r d s until 9

written o n them were handed over

last few days and that it was far too

November.

to the attendant o f the burger stall.

early in the investigation to make

Jonathan Griffiths, Deputy President

This

any other statement.

noticed after

the

quality

originally

continuous

only

strip,

who

neither a watermark nor a solid line

was

metal

Lawton,

Because

fire

regulations

ICU

Railcards They

will

cost

£8

instead o f £16. F o r t y pence o f this w i l l go to the F r i e n d s o f the E a r t h .

—12—