Drugs
Crime Roundup
No Joke
A resuscitator and phials o f a m y l nitrate were stolen f r o m the college a m b u l a n c e this w e e k, w o r t h about
P o l i c e were called to the U n i o n B u i l d i n g last T u e s d a y after reports
£900. A l s o four pedal c y c l e s and
o f an attempted sale o f narcotics. A
parts o f a fifth were stolen, there
m a n in the L o u n g e B a r c l a i m e d that
was an attempt o n a motorcycle and
he
a n u m b e r o f wallets went m i s s i n g .
had
been
approached
by
a
student who offered h i m ecstasy o r speed.
He
notified
the
Disgruntled
Deputy
President, Jonathan G r i f f i t h s , and College
Security,
who
notified
A 'disgruntled e m p l o y e e ' o f the
police.
college threw a beer barrel through
T h e suspect was searched by the
window
the
of
a
car
last
p o l i c e in the U n i o n O f f i c e and was
Wednesday, and then followed it up
found to be c l e a n . H e later denied
by trashing the car o w n e r ' s office
that he had offered drugs and said
in S h e r f i e l d . T h e names o f those
that 'it was a j o k e ' . H e told F e l i x
involved
that the P o l i c e ' f o u n d nothing - I
College Security.
w a s n ' t perturbed
about
he
was
being that
offered
drugs
he
bei ng
was
o f coats and a valuable watch were stolen
Z o e H e l l i n g e r , U n i o n President, President
have
Griffiths, said
by
F i f t y pounds in c a s h , a n u m b e r
for the rest o f the e v e n i n g .
Jonathan
withheld
Wing Chun
harassed by the alleged d r u g seller
and
been
it i n the
slightest'. T h e student who believed complained
have
that
if
from
the
Union
Building
c h a n g i n g r o o m s whilst W i n g C h u n
Deputy
were
any
practising
next
door
last
Wednesday.
further drug incident is reported the p o l i c e w i l l be called i m m e d i a t e l y . Additionally,
i f any
Processed
student is
approached by a d r u g pusher, they should not be afraid to contact those in charge. T e r r y B r i l e y , I C security officer, told F e l i x that the sale o f drugs ' w i l l not be tolerated'.
Marc Ellis, aka Penguin, Rag Chairman, enjoying a quick dip after tiddlywinking down Oxford Street, See page 15 for further details.
Paper Prize Twenty
Resources E n g i n e e r i n g department
submitted
received Society
of
from
Petroleum
the
1991
Engineers
Engineering
Building
at
an
estimated cost o f £1800.
Bar Brawl
T h r e e I C students f r o m the M i n e r a l prizes
A N a g a c o m p u t e r p r o c e s s o r was stolen f r o m R o o m 3 1 4 i n the C i v i l
V i o l e n c e broke out last Saturday
the other was p i n n e d up against a
night, 5 O c t o b e r ,
car and p u n c h e d i n the back.
in front o f the
papers
were
contest.
Eight
H e l e n Roberts told F e l i x that as
papers came f r o m Imperial C o l l e g e .
she and three friends c a m e out o f
reports o n the event. Z o e H e l l i n g e r ,
the bar they were confronted
Union
The,
first
nine to
the
prize
winners
each
Southside bar.
Imperial
by
that
they
College had
not
President,
Security said received
any
told F e l i x that
Student Paper Contest in A b e r d e e n
received cheques for £400 and were
this September.
invited to present their papers at the
carried
1992 conference.
towards u s , ' said M s R o b e r t s . She
take
added that her friends wanted
no
Disciplinary Committee.
in
knew one o f the assailants, a d d i n g
X u D o n g J i n g was the w i n n e r o f the P h D class whilst Jonathan C o p p was the winner o f the undergraduate o r M S c class. A n d e r s
Witterman
Mr
Witterman
r e c e i v e d a c h e q u e for £100. Mr
Jing
is still at the
college
finishing his degree. M e s s r s C o p p
was the third prize w i n n e r in the
and
same class.
degrees i n September.
Witterman
received
their
approximately ten m e n . ' T h e y just on
be i ng
very
abusive
I trouble and w ished to leave. This
turned
into
violence
w h i c h one o f her friends
onc e the names o f the attackers are found she and M s Roberts intend to the
Ms
suffered
injuries to the face and stomach and
event
Roberts
to
the
claimed
College
that
she
T just want to find out who the other people
are.'
A n up-to-the-minute guide
guide
6.00pm
V
C o l l e g e . T h e deadline for entries
JCR.
for this c o l u m n is 1 2 . 3 0 p m
Afro-Carib Meeting
Roll
M o n d a y lunchtime p r i o r to
Concert Hall. Swimming
after this w i l l not be i n c l u d e d .
Sports Centre.
Yacht Club Meeting
12.30pm
Rag
Meeting
12.40pm
7.30pm
Prayers
l.OOpm
Southside G y m . See Islamic Society. 4.30pm
Kung Fu Union G y m .
1.30pm
Kung Fu
7.30pm
Sports Centre. 8.00pm
2.00pm
Lebanese Society
TUESDAY C.U.
STUDENTS—come
to l u n c h o n M o n d a y
Hall.
at 1 2 . 3 0 p m i n U n i o n L o u n g e for a 6.30pm
14th O c t o b e r
chat.
Swimming Pool.
• CAN THE FOLLOWING
Shaolin System Nam
collect the prizes f r o m the G u i l d s
Pai 8.30pm
Prayer Meeting
• MATURE
General Meeting. Union Dining Diving
JCR.
Small Ads ANNOUNCEMENTS
Union G y m .
Southside G y m .
Union Lounge. Friday
Meet Weeks Hall Basement Kitchen.
1.15pm
Top floor N W corner Union Building.
JCR.
Latin American
Physics 737.
9.15pm
I C C A G Soup Run l.OOpm
Wargames Micro Club Meeting
7.00pm
Water Polo 12.30pm
8.30pm
Southside Bar.
U D H . A l l welcome.
IC Shotokan Karate 12.30pm
8.00pm
Ballroom
JCR. Southside Disco
l.OOpm
Cycling Training Meet at Beit Arch.
6.30pm
' n ' Roll
Huxley 413. Conservative Soc
6.00pm
Beginners Rock
Southside Upper Lounge.
12.45pm
Bike Club Southside Lounge.
p u b l i c a t i o n . A n y c o p y supplied
FRIDAY
Intermediate
Southside G y m .
Intermediate Rock
to events i n a n d a r o u n d Imperial
Hang Gliding
11 October 1991
Felix 912
What's On
Chuan
7.00pm
O f f i c e for w i n n i n g at the C a s i n o o n
7.30pm
B i o 1; 2nd E l e a n o r K n i g h t , Physics
F r i d a y O c t 4: 1st G a v i n H a y m a n ,
Southside G y m .
Chaplain's Office
Basketball Club
people
Riding Club Meeting........12.30pm
Postponed until volleyball court
II; 3 r d A n d y M e e c h a m , P h y s i c s 1;
413 Maths.
Southside Upper Lounge.
reopened. Women's Team
4th C h r i s B i l l i n g e , M e c h E n g .
Christian Union Meeting....6.00pm
ICU
308 Computing.
Elec Eng 403B.
C.U.
Prayer Meeting
Swimming
5.00pm
6.30pm
Christian Outreach.... 12.30pm
to sign up for first trip. £24 for
THURSDAY
Club training.
everything.
Fencing Training
Shaolin System
AudioSoc
Fencing Club Training
Nam
Pai Chuan
6.40pm
7.30pm 7.30pm
Cathsoc Mass
Sports Centre. Southside Disco
8.30pm
12.30pm 12.30pm
SATURDAY Kung Fu Club
4.30pm
W u Shu Kwan in Southside G y m . IC Shotokan Karate
10.00pm
l.OOpm
Housing Officer
SUNDAY
Fencing Training
5.30pm
3rd
Sunday Service
10.30am
Clubs Committee Room.
11.00am
College Courts. Players of any
Improvers JCR.
members
Canoe Club
welcome.
Catholic Chaplaincy Mass.lLOOam 53 Cromwell Road. l.OOpm
Kung Fu Club
4.30pm
W u Shu Kwan in the Union G y m . Catholic Mass
6.00pm
53 Cromwell Road.
6.15pm
wanted
C l o s e to
m i n s f r o m college. P h o n e 0 7 1 - 3 7 3 5869.
1.30pm
PERSONAL • W A D E — 2 n d Y e a r Physics. ' M y
communications industry' by David
G o d it's huge!!'.
Thomas, Recruitment Manager of Fencing Training Gliding Club Meeting
Southside Upper Lounge.
Keep Fit
1.30pm
Careers
l.OOpm
Information
5.30pm
• The
Imperial
College
Careers
A d v i s o r y S e r v i c e w i l l have a stall
Southside G y m 5.30pm
Midweek Service
at the C a r e e r s F a i r o n 15 a n d 16
Chaplains Office (10 Prince's
O c t o b e r . A l l are w e l c o m e to call i n
Mech Eng 220. Members £1
Gardens).
for a chat with a careers
(membership £2.50—includes first
New Beginners
film). Note: ICSF library is open
JCR.
lunchtimes.
Improvers
7.00pm
FilmSoc 'Flash Gordon'
7.00pm 7.30pm
Grease Rehearsals
There
Ballroom....6.00pm
is o n e careers
adviser. talk this
c o m i n g week i n L T 2 1 3 at 1.30 Ballroom
7.00pm
2.20, Thursday
17 O c t o b e r ' T h e
Communications Industry by D a v i d
JCR. Nightline Meeting
JCR. 12.30pm
girl
£46pw.
L T 213 Huxley. ' T h e
Aero 266.
6.30pm
flatshare.
Room. Speaker Meeting.
Beit Quad store or 8.30pm in Judo
for
E a r l ' s C o u r t tube a n d shops. 15
General.
Ballroom Bronze Medal
MONDAY RockSoc Meeting
6.00pm
Ballroom
Union G y m .
UDH.
12.30pm
British Telecom.
Union Dining Hall.
ability. Annual membership £6. New
Wargames
6.00pm
Wine Tasting Soc
Anteroom Sherfield Building. Tennis Team Practise
J.30pm
'Street S t a m p e r ' b y ' S p e c i a l i s e d ' ,
ACCOMMODATION
12.45pm
World First
Careers Talk
Southside G y m .
4 1 3 Imperial
contact Stef o n x3515. £15 reward.
Union Building, Green Committee
Amenesty International
8414, R o o m
• NON—SMOKING
l.OOpm
5.30pm
Ext
12.30pm
Postgrad Lunch
Beginners Training.
Keep Fit
West London Chaplaincy
12.30pm
& Cheese
Gardens).
Mech Eng.
i n the
interested
B r i t i s h Paper A i r c r a f t A s s o c i a t i o n
• S T O L E N White Mountain Bike,
Pro-Life Wine
Chaplains Office (10 Princes
Southside Lounge.
Office.
• ANYONE
C o l l e g e Dept. C i v E n g , S W 7 2 B U .
Southside Upper Lounge.
housing probs—come along. PhotoSoc
Guilds
please contact A n d r e w C h i p l i n g o n
Top floor Union Building. A n y
Radio Modellers
Southside G y m .
12.30pm
Clubs Committee Room.
Southside Lounge. NUS
11.30am
12.30pm
Meeting
Boat Prty o n
T h u r s d a y 31st O c t o b e r at £5 f r o m
Southside Upper Lounge. YHA
Mech Eng 702. Followed by lunch. Sailing Club
Southside Bar.
12.30pm
Southside Lounge.
Guilds Hallowe'en
Intermediate & advanced coaching. Balloon Club Meeting
S.C.R. Radio Modellers
Southside G y m . Water Polo
12.30pm
T O a l l those w h o
• T I C K E T S A V A I L A B L E for the
12.30pm
SplotSoc
• THANKS
helped at the F u n k y C h i c k e n Party.
Union G y m . W u Shu Kwan.
Southside Upper Lounge. Last time
Sports Centre.
7.30pm
Kung Fu Club
7.30pm
Room 3A, U L U Building, Malet St,
T h o m a s , Recruitment M a n a g e r o f British T e l e c o m .
Southside Upper Lounge.
Room 308, Huxley Building
W C 1 . Ring 071-436 5561 (6pm to
Mature Students Lunch.... 12.30pm
(terminal room A ) .
8am) for more details of introductory
Recruitment P r o g r a m m e for details
Union Lounge.
Yoga
meeting.
of
Basketball Club
5.30pm
8.00pm
FilmSoc Film
Southside G y m .
7.30pm
Postponed until volleyball court
Mech Eng 220. 'Return of the Pink
reopened. Men's Team.
Panther' in cinemascope.
Keep Fit Southside G y m .
5.30pm
WEDNESDAY Keep Fit
12.30pm
IC Shotokan Karate Southside G y m .
REMINDER: Employer
Presentations
for
finalists. WARNING: are
7.30pm
See the Graduate
expected
Fewer
vacancies
i n 1992 i n many
sectors o f the e c o n o m y . A D V I C E : A p p l y early.
11 October 1991
Union
Felix 912
T h e following is a list o f registration
E971 K R Y
F215
numbers
FKG
189V
S W A 320Y
o f vehicles w h i c h
have
It w i l l be m u c h cheaper and better
NBL
for both the e n v i r o n m e n t and y o u .
A260 V O V
D991 A L R
Although
permits. C a n the owners o f these
E 9 9 5 D P F and
F168 P Y F
those allocated d i d deserve permits
vehicles please collect them f r o m
H439 H G M
the U n i o n O f f i c e ; y o u should bring
Please supply a m e d i c a l certificate
been
your
allocated
Union
Document
card,
(or
ownership),
union
Registration
other
medical
parking
proof
of
certificate
a
only
joint
a larger limited
number number
than were
available so they were allocated to
to collect a permit for the following
those w h o w o u l d suffer most f r o m
vehicles:
being unable to d r i v e i n . I a m not
HYB
w i l l to enter into a n y discussion
253T
where indicated and £5 as a deposit:
B25 D E P
regarding these allocations as it is
LYK
152K
719W
F668 O N M
a waste o f both m y time and y o u r s .
YRU
KPD
OKL
659Y
A159
YMO
D372 C L K
OCD
912W
G238 L G C
A285 J W Y
EUR
1850
E377 C T F
P U V 747Y
XGC
D58 C P M
A58
657W
H339 Y Y L
F695 L B W
ADT
119W
Parking Permits
UMJ
166R
HFT
204W
C372 F T H
EVT
708Y
B697
WFC
F846 R L H
date w r o n g in last w e e k ' s article. If
F44 K L U
WPL
823Y
anyone has any complaints
9303 V B 92
MYY
698X
XHV
448T
this can they please see m e rather
WGW
B360
VYO
F747
RMD
than hassling any other members o f
D848 N U S
ELL
723S
F734 M G X
JGH
D777 J H V
BUR
F617
WEW
ELF
B255 J K R
G109
UUL
F698 P U L
A644 A J H
HGK
659Y 1 780T
26X
I apologise f o r getting the c l o s i n g
411Y
Union
F o l l o w i n g advice f r o m the licensing
D156 R W M
B96 E G O
DXP
97
F184 S B L
so
XHX
63IT
PYM
346Y
appeal.
A716 N N L
B759 W N K
females
w h o are w o r r i e d
D201 D L B
F581
walking
home
XAH
R U W 761Y
alarms are avialable from the U n i o n
now until midnight
C741 T L E
O f f i c e . T h o s e w h o applied and are
Friday October 25th—Extension now until l a m
A974 T U U
HBU
A l l permits have now been allocted
officer three o f our B a r E x t e n s i o n s
is n o opportunity for
have had to be revised. T h e s e are:
at night,
about scream
F330 R Y U
in
N U W 132Y
college
C252
space... sell your car and buy a bike!
EUR
cycling
for
D787 E Y O A915 W W J
easy
F o r information,
SGH
690V
were
distance
from
not a l l o c a t e d
Friday October 11th—Extension Friday October 18th—Extension
a
Violence A w a r e n e s s
in the U K
Sessions
ANNUAL DISCO Saturday Oct 19th 7.30pm to 1.00am
sees
how late she can submit
stuff
now until midnight
O l d Royalists Assocition
B a r • Buffet * at
Union President,
H D E 946X
650T
Hellinger,
staff.
A465 J K N
there
Zoe
about
Tuesday 15th O c t and Thursday 17th O c t 7.00pm
Raffle
Available to all students. N o previous experience required.
Sherfield Building, Imperial College, Exhibition Road, SW7
Cost £3.00 (subsidised)
Tickets £12
Sign up in Union
Please ring: Jo Navin on 081-567 2352 H A Karunasekera on 081-853 3207
Office by Monday 14th October, 5.30pm
— 3—
to the Union page
without
causing
death or
serious
injury to
the Felix
Editor.
11 October 1991
Felix 912
Opinion
The world is so full of 'isms'—
suffused with fag-smoke, innuendo,
I was w a s h i n g m y career life away
racism,
we
r a c i s m and ignorance. M o s t o f m y
with
really need to take o n board a new
data centre colleagues were thinly
experience that another c o m p a n y
one? I'd say yes because there is a
disguised spivs who expressed open
w o u l d find useful (maybe that was
prejudice w h i c h has affected me and
hostility to the ' b l o o d y
a deliberate corporate p o l i c y ! ) .
w h i c h might affect y o u also. It is
' b l o o d y foreigners' and o f course
Graduateism.
the monstrous r e g i m e n o f w o m e n .
sexism,
ageism.
Do
graduates',
'Being a and a
companies
calibre
graduates
having
any
personal
female Indian
and of origin
was a very disconcerting experience.'
existed).
I suspect it has something to do with m y not shutting up and putting up with r a c i s m (as m y manager has often ' a d v i s e d ' me to do! O h — h o w I w i s h I had taped some o f those
female a n d , i nc i de nta l l y, o f Indian
conversations!!).
for
high
without
really
of
their
aspirations
and
origin—it
was
certainly
a
I c a n ' t c o m p l a i n too m u c h since
very
disconcerting experience to say the
I
least.
redundancy payment. B u t it is not
or
Job satisfaction? In m y first four
we—delicate
months, I had to tab spaces and put
came
enough
away to
with
quench
the
carriage returns into several v e r y
at
large documents. M y productivity
afterwards has certainly
what
was
the b l o w .
see
as
silver-spoon
upstarts.
measured
carriage
So now
let the m u c k - c h u c k i n g
tabs
by
how
many
returns/spell checks and
I
made
per
day!
(Nobody
Imperial
almost
i m m e d i a t e ly
S o m y a d v i c e to m y fellow students
is, e v e n
in these
economic
o f m y stay at the bank (another one
before y o u leap o r y o u m a y cause permanent damage to y o u r career.
looked
conditions,
IC
harsh
believes me, but it's true!). T h e rest
bank—which
do
look
three
year) was equally m i n d n u m b i n g .
graduates to be taken o n in their
W h e n I complained about the trivial
computing
sounded
nature o f the w o r k , I was told that
year, several o f the colleagues
megabucks—
I "was t r y i n g to r u n before I c o u l d
C i t i b a n k w h o I d i d like and respect have also left most by their o w n
good.
great.
I
was
I
one
of
only
area—which
was
paid
Can
you
imagine
how
P . S . S i n c e I left in M a r c h o f this at
w h i c h felt brilliant. B u t then I was
walk.
dumped into a technical back-water,
frustrated I felt after a first class
a c c o r d , with quite a few returning
shaken by fears o f redundancy and
honours degree f r o m Imperial and
to university studies!
subjected to a w o r k i n g environent
an M S c in c o m p u t i n g ? I felt as i f
U r m i Basu-Conlin, Materials
FRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEE
defence console. H e k n e w he had
in iridescent spar kl i ng lights that
OOOOOOOOOSCCCCCCSCR-
only
d a n c e d and shone.
UUUUUUUNNNNNCHHHH!!!
o n b o a r d systems w o u l d shed their
v o l u m e s . T h e b o m b had taken out
hatreds, violent urges and psychotic
his weapons system. Ignoring the
seconds
now
before
the
soothing voi ce s and w o r d s o n the speakers and his screens he flew on.
discussing
the
long
term
swung his fighter ship a r o u n d for
value o f conflict. Stress p o w e r e d the engines as far as they w o u l d go
on
the
leptons.
' D o n ' t let this aggression obscuring
higher
constrictor
about
thought
your
true
confess
and
become
a
better
person.' Stress screamed in t r i u m p h as his craft charged towards the target ship on collision course.
the
fester
inside, recognise it for what it is, feelings. D o n ' t be afraid to c r y , to
Coping with Stress Tightening
cursed
things
another
attack
Stress
tendencies and b e c o m e v i l e useless
a blackness
of a new story.
softened
merchant
relieving b o m b o n his port side and
The first chapter
of
begin. I was offered a j o b by a large
Stress d o d g e d the herbal stress
Action
heat
resentment although starting a P h D
flowers—can be made to w o r k with
!!!
1.
substantial
people who are actively resentful o f they
the
it to say that ask
needs,
in the end I got
'golden handshake' (in other words
H e n c e m e , be i ng a graduate and a
the
knowledge
capabilities,
Anyway,
work
sordid
spared
details, but suffice many
graduate
be
meaningful
m y j o b no l o n g e r
Graduateism You'll
no
He
was
not
and shot f o r w a r d to do his bit for
afraid
the cause that was everything in his
w o u l d g o straight to heaven i f h e ' d
gunned the plasma engines sending
life. H e knew the e n e m y . H e knew
died fighting. T h e rest o f eternity
his
the truth. H e k n e w what to d o .
w i n n i n g was not something to be
earth
attack
his ship
head
he
screaming
towards the alien craft. H e had no
As
intelligence
expanding
thoughts o f death, i n fact he had
torpedoes
v e r y few thoughts at all due to the
destroyed the first effects
implanted n a r r o w m i n d c o n t r o l l e r
enemy
lodged
marching
i n his c e r e b r u m .
He
had
were
strike
dodged
took
songs
and o f the
effect.
on
the
The ship's
to die.
He
knew
that
afraid of. ' C o l l i s i o n in ten s e c o n d s . ' Eagerness. ' C o l l i s i o n i n eight s e c o n d s . ' S w e l l i n g lepton ship.
blessed its presence several times
speakers c r a c k l e d and cut out a n d
' C o l l i s i o n i n six s e c o n d s . '
already in this space fight for saving
Stress
Blurring of vision.
h i m f r o m the aliens' worst, i n fact
replacement b o m b a r d e d his ears.
only weapon: His
free thought.
onboard
defence
swore
'YOU'VE system
beeped agressively w a r n i n g h i m o f
LOVING
hard
as
LOST
their
' C o l l i s i o n i n five s e c o n d s . '
THAT
FEELING!
WOHOH
THAT LOVING FEELING!' A v o i d i n g the last o f the peaceful
thought b o m b s , feared throughout
intention mines Stress l o c k e d the
earth's space fleet for its effects o f
enemy ship in his sights.
thoughts,
relaxation
and
'NOW
prejudice-free views. H e swung his
GONE!'
ship to a v o i d it and at that instance he was hit.
GONE,
' C o l l i s i o n in four
seconds.'
' C o l l i s i o n i n three s e c o n d s . ' B r i g h t e n i n g light. ' C o l l i s i o n in two
GONE,
seconds.'
Flash. Blackness. ' C o l l i s i o n in one s e c o n d . '
E y e s ablaze he stabbed the
fire
T i m e warp.
button.
AN
AGGRESSION
RELIEVING STRUCK
IT'S
F e e l i n g o f distortion. Space is g l o w i n g .
the approach o f a cluster o f rational
clear
he
US!!!
BOMB Screamed
HAS the
From rainbow
out of
of
his
colours
gunports
a
emerged,
showering the space around his ship
Could the writer of this article please make contact with the F E L I X Editor on ext 3515.
11 October 1991
M
Felix 912
,i.t«»« *
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Felix 912
Music
11 October 1991
T h e most elegant stiletto p i e r c i n g
Cranes - Wings of Joy
and,
with
incalculable
care
and
sensitivity, scraping up and d o w n the length o f A l i s o n ' s
vertebrae;
Pele -Raid The Palace
m i n e too. I ' m d y i n g here, s l o w l y , hopelessly, d e l i c i o u s l y , d y i n g . M y G o d . M e . I d o n ' t deserve to d i e l i k e this. W h e r e ' s M y Hate N o w I N e e d It?. M y whole passage thro' these sonic night-scapes is fraught with the chill o f a p r i m a l anguish, and the harsh, angular shadows o f a b l i n d fury. Christ knows
how
I c o u l d be
so
arrogant as to believe that I c o u l d adequately Yeah.
translate this for y o u .
With
such
as
Summer,
Tomorrow's
Hopes
High,
Are
Leaves
subversive attack o n our wonderful
Tears,
r o y a l f a m i l y . If I slag this I c a n
I discover
My
nemesis h i d d e n b e h i n d M y heart's
forget
bei ng L a d y
L i s e , c a n ' t I?
R i g h t then, this is a b l o o d y terrible
nemesis is the S n o w
r e c o r d . O n the other ha nd , it might
Queen. Y o u remember Her, don't
be the first shot i n a c a m p a i g n to
Y o u ? She s u m m o n e d the ghost o f
close the C a m d e n Palace
breathing and b l e w snowflakes
on
obscene pigs. In that case, I'd like
fragile,
to point out that they d o say ' m a k e
desire. M y
Y e s . I have dreaded the prospect o f
I think this might be some k i n d o f
of
r e v i e w i n g this. L o s t sleep o v e r it.
Kay's
D a m n near cut o f f the end o f m y
filigree
heart.
Well,
finger because o f it. T h e brute truth
c o l l i d i n g with m i n e , and they're no
about Wings of Joy is it's c o l o s s a l , '
longer m e l t i n g . . .
structures
such are
currently
some
noise',
which
due to
should
be
reserved for people as crass as M C H a m m e r , and there's a strange kind
I'm
past
of
Basically, if Y o u ' r e
still
geeeetar in there as w e l l . It reminds
Country
and
Western
style
yet at the same t i m e , gentle and
Who
understated beauty. T h i s is why I
caring.
should hate t h e m . I ' m supposed to
reading this, i f y o u h a v e n ' t t h r o w n
m e o f B o b G e l d o f ' s Vegetarians
articulate suitably elegant
prose,
it d o w n and gone out and bought
Love, The Housemartins,
t h e m , I s h o u l d l o o k for any reason
and it's supposed to be (reasonably)
this f u c k i n g r e c o r d , then y o u are
Flowers,
to criticise (never one to b o w
tangible. M a k i n g Cranes tangible is
first class twat. T h i s is not a random
really. B a n g goes m y k n i g h t h o o d .
o f the state o f grace thrust u p o n to
gives
a damn,
know).
selling them short, and w h y should
insult. I have c o n c l u d e d this f r o m
interviewed
they stoop to earthbound flesh when
the obvious lack o f value Y o u place
A l i s o n S h a w and found H e r to be
they're
on
all things to this particular m a n , M y
infinity?...!
peer
pressure,
However,
you
having
objectivity
is
looking
decidedly
punch-drunk. Listening to Wings Joy,
of
it's easy to c o n c l u d e that this
busy
a
trail
to
Life.
If
you
have
mesh
Lise Yates
any
of
the office and I w i l l play
Adoration
heat-damaged
to y o u . It's the last song. It is also
enveloping,
extraordinary, sullen and gorgeous,
p o o r , d e l u d e d w a n k e r was always
with A l i s o n h o l d i n g both c a n and
a slight l e g i o n o f b l u r r i n g , water-
going to be devastated. B l o o d y well
b l o w - t o r c h . Starblood.
f l o o r e d , i n fact.
M e air, for f u c k ' s sake.
Eskimos & Egypt
Carter U S M
spray-paint
stuff like that. Q u i t e g o o d
disagreement w i t h this, c o m e into' is fine, a d e l i r i o u s l y -
Watersong layered
etching
Of
Hothouse
textures
Jesus. G i v e Starblood.
washed
features
and
G.N.E. -I Want You
misshapen
definitions. O h , g i v e M e W i n g s o f J o y that I m a y b r i n g it to all things. Yes.
My
loathing
Knows
no
bounds. T h e A l b u m o f the Y e a r .
-Don't You Do It
-After the
David.
Watershed
W h a t is Great N o r t h e r n E l e c t r i c s ? It's W r e t c h e d l y enough, Carter again
turned
in
quite
a
have
decent
r e c o r d . T h e s e people are b e c o m i n g
the railway
line f r o m
Kings
C r o s s to L e e d s , Y o r k and the N o r t h East,
and
it
goes
through
K ne b w o r t h . T h i s is a perfectly good
naggingly difficult to deal w i t h ; i f
reason to give it a right slagging.
W h e n I got m y rather g r u b b y mits
it
However
o n this one I thought 'great, a dance
ridiculous
was
all
Clash
stylisms
and
someone
(fresher)
did
'John
float the suggestion that I should
record that means something, not all
P l a y e r S p e c i a l n u m b e r 666') they
possibly listen to the r e c o r d before
this ' m o v e y o u b o d y , b o d y ' , shit',
would
what an a m a z i n g and
regrettable
disappointment.
be
punning
(read
easily dispensed
W h a t buggers up m y attempt to
try anything once, I suppose.
like Carter.
m a k e a w h i p p i n g boy out o f Carter
starts with something that might possibly be a train sample. Stop the
It is for this reason I
formally apologise to G i n n y o f ' B a d
is, in this case, a bare
M o o n ' . I a m the last p e r s o n
opening
rockers
s h o u l d represent F e l i x at a press
sensitivity, a line like
h o m o p h o b i c , macho bullshiters that
conference for Carter,
Ruby Tuesday; come home,
in
their
true
Sweet light,
r e v i e w i n g it. H o w p e c u l i a r . S t i l l ,
I make no bones about this; I do not
C h i l d o f M i n e showed these crass
Their rip-off of G ' n ' R ' s
with.
who
but at the
exuding
keyboard
pathos
and
'Goodbye,
It
record, I want to get off. S o m e b o d y stop it. N e v e r m i n d , it's gone now.
you
I'll listen to it a l l , i f y o u ' r e g o i n g to be like that. Sounds a bit indie,
have about as m u c h talent as the
time, there was no-one else. S o r r y .
silly c o w ' , and J i m b o b ' s i d i o m a t i c
flies o n m y dogs back. T h i s w i l l be
Oh,
angst h o w l i n g the above o v e r the
a bit Paris Angels,
lost amongst the m y r i a d o f S h a r o n
bands at R e a d i n g this year, it is not
fade.
k i n d o f fruit o n the front
and
enough to be a m i n o r i m p r o v e m e n t
social tales, indicting, a w k w a rd and
w h i c h is always a g o o d sign. (Does
c o u n t r y . It m a y b r i n g them chart
o n shit. S o they r e c k o n
Andrew
j a r r i n g . Y e a h , o n the strength o f
B r y a n A d a m s have fruit o n his front
success but w o u l d y o u wont to be
E l d r i t c h thinks t h e y ' r e the second
this, I might actually g r o w to like
c ove r ?
the one to k n o c k B r i a n A d a m s off
best
them. N o w ,
perfectly bearable, not particularly
Tracy
discos
around
n u m b e r one? I thought not Pebbles
the
and while there were w o r s e
band
around?
Yeah,
sure.
W a y n e H u s s e y believed H i m , as well.
It's
one o f those
peculiar,
for f u c k ' s sake, give
m e m y Steely D a n tape b a c k . Youthoria.
6 —
See
what
and there's some
I
cover,
mean?)
offensive to the ears or eyes. Lise Yates
So,
Felix 912
11 October 1991
Absolution - Various
Music
one o f the greatest pop songs o f the eighties, Echo and the
steaming tune f r o m a
The Cutter-a
band w h o never dropped their ' H ' s or their ' T ' s a n d were still one o f the coolest ever. T h i s is f o l l o w e d is taken by his fans, though always
found
humility
I've
his
shoe-staring
and effete
vulnerability
trite and laborious. Never
Enough
is great fun though, the most fun t h e y ' v e been since Love
indeed appropriate
that m y
frantic
Siouxsie's
pastiche, Spellbound. Shortly
after,
Great stuff.
our
attention
Stardust, to consider Bauhaus. few
youth... T h e ineffably silly
Mission
produced by M u r p h y , A s h and C o . ,
bags
or as I prefer, ' D u r a n D u r a n f r o m
I'd love to rave about the whole gig
o f swagger and a lyric Robert Plant
H e l l ' . I ' m g l ad t h e y ' r e not a r o u n d
as perhaps anyone w o u l d w h o sees
anymore - their outdated, pompous
one o f their favourite bands.
histrionics
bands were excellent, the sound was
about the best t h e y ' l l ever give us.
the
D i e laughing.
' a r t y ' posturing are
Killing Joke's ( O h G o d , N O ! ) glorious Love like Blood. O k , so
w e l l , Bela
Murphy's.
Once
past
suspiciously
'goff
sleeve,
it
becomes apparent that this is, in
this is just
entertaining
would've
of
k i l l e d for,
really
the
heart
This
homage to H i s D a v i d n e s s is one o f
current world view is as black as the the
is
dragged by the stupidly O T T Ziggy
journey
to
Hitchcock
and
pieces
embarrassingly as dead
as,
A f t e r this the
Lugosi.
Mary Chain's brilliant Some Candy is, o d d l y e n o u g h , like a
this was as c o m m e r c i a l as sex back
Talking
feature
in ' 8 5 , the last days, but it still
breath o f fresh air.
Pil's Rise, Joy Division's Atmosphere o r Sisters of Mercy's
remains a f i n e l y - crafted testament
A n d onto A. A.E..
O r rather, not.
A better Stranglers
song w o u l d n ' t
'goff',
fact,
though
any
c o m p i l a t i o n that does not
Body
Electric
suffers
such
somewhat
f r o m tunnel v i s i o n . So,
with
remove
the
Never Enough
to s p o o k - p o p . The Wonderstuff. barrel remind
blinkers sleeve.
removed, The
I
Cure's
opens; it is amusing
to witness how seriously young B o b
-Town and Country Club. Kentish T o w n ,
back in ' 8 4 . O h , the lost days o f follow this with Deliverance; 'Tis
way
Cats
by
Dinosaur JR
Bunnymen's
of
laughs. me
They
of
A
always
undercover
policemen secreting themselves into
have
a drugs r i n g . D o n ' t let m e
down
the Neffs
always
so
Creatures,
gently'
was
W O R K M A N L I K E . It's face-off is
Mode
never been as g o o d
as
on
A s for the rest,
the Silence.
are great fun, as are the
the
the
do,
draw
was
however,
feel
obliged to slag off the vast numbers o f stage d i v e r s . W h a t used to be an
and
Damned
brave
with
astounding
a
finesse
has
now
that
was
become
de
rigeur- it seems no g i g experience is complete without stumbling onto the stage a n d falling o f f again.
No
m o r e a buzz but merely a ritual; it's just not g o o d To
but I ' m getting tired o f
N.M.A.,
and I
art f o r m indulged in by the few and
go amiss either, but Depeche Enjoy
excellent, excellent.
The
be
enough...
honest,
I
can't
even
w r i t i n g this. S a d l y , the appearance
remember the first band's name, let
of
alone what they sounded l i k e , but
the
Psychedelic
does
Furs
nothing to dispel the (con)fusion o f
the listed support b a n d — T h e
feverish, incisive pop, and bloated
Radieys—were
stadium
of
r o c k . Alice's
or
House
the
Boo
good. T h e i r version
now-somewhat-cliche'd
President Gas would've been better.
fuzzy indie guitar dance m u s i c (so
S o m e o f these were/still are great
excellently played b y My
bands,
Valentine
but this representation o f
post-punk r oc k m u s i c seems often
to
contradict
too
it's
own
and,
more
Bloody
obviously;
Ride) was g o o d , though somewhat m o n o t o n o u s . T h e y w e r e lost i n an
principles. A n y self-respecting goth
audience who failed to offer
(I k n o w that verges o n the
self-
more
contradictory)
own
tossing moptops. M a y b e they were
will
already
support
most o f these, so w h o is this aimed
shot
at? the new kids o n the pop scene?
Greatness?...
liberated metalheads? free-to-rock yuppi es ?
Tell
you
what;
You
Post
Scriptum, Rose,
My
now
little
do
in the b a c k
Now.
Now
by
You
believe M e ?
any
head-
Impending
is the time to start
spouting a load o f w a n k about h o w fucking excellent Dinosaur
D e c i d e , 'cos I d r e a d to think.
American
than a few
were,
and it w o u l d p r o b a b l y be the truth, but finally the point o f the e v e n i n g became
apparent.
Despite
J's
legendary apathy, Dinosaur Jr. have
David.
p r o d u c e d four o f the most o r i g i n a l albums I've ever heard, and they played all the noise ones tonight. F r o m You 're Living to Green Mind,
All
Over
Me
it was all there, and
we lapped it up like a d o g at it's power-of-madness Odd.
We
seem to be getting an
Galen,
one-time
vocals. member
Nick of
his
psychotic howls in such a w ay that
literally
croons
the stage like some headless chicken
that's only because it follows
Shrubs,
of
falls short o f the m a r k , but
Hopes
awful lot o f stuff resembling d e m o Champions
o w n v o m i t . J M a s c i s dives a r o u n d
the
tapes
these days.
O f the songs themselves, only Big the
on a c i d that believes the o n l y route
extraordinary Civil Kong
Smasher-
to sexual gratification is v i a a guitar.
Tear
little-known m u s i c that W e are, it's
O n e is f or c ed to consider genius a
it w o u l d make Love
still odd. T h i s is not a gripe. I mean,
constituent o f dementia, and not the
Apart sound as twee as Any
Will
Us
E v e r y t h i n g about the spectacle was
Dream
over the top. E m b e l l i s h e d with that
WTjife
extra guitar freakout, almost to the
loosely-
point o f g l a m r o c k (but not quite),
disappeared. I sleep easy for the
hinged b u i l d - u p to a tumultuous
perhaps the o n l y c o m p l a i n t is that
first time in years n o w that y o u ' r e
bastard c h i l d o f the Birthday
the tunes are as catchy as shit o n a
beside
of
- a wash o f discordant k e y b o a r d
shoe; they rattle a r o u n d in y o u r
Club (I just
nasty, and must surely inaugurate
does nothing to dispel m y unease.
head forever
d i d n ' t want to say it). It's in that
h i m as the K i n g o f M e l a n c h o l i a and
Y e s , it is c r u e l to be k i n d to Y o u r
r o l l i n g a r o u n d o n the grass w o n ' t
vein
the most unmitigated F u c k - u p i n
nightmares. M o r e p a i n , please.
some are good, some are downright
other w ay r o u n d . H i s d e l i v e r y o f
Will
b l o o d y awful. O n l y one, this one,
the line " M y bad dreams have all
Snow
is f u c k i n g astonishing. Mecca rhythm
have the most lithe, frantic section
since...
r e m i n d e d o f early Gun of
groove
deranged, on which
are
I'm
bastardized layered
a
hideously edgy guitar and b l a z i n g
me"
is nothing
short
r e c o r d i n g history. G o d k n o w s w h y there still only m a k i n g d e m o s .
Do is
by a
comparison. staggering,
Superbus Augustus Dalek Case.
— 7—
Party
and any amount o f
get r i d o f ' e m . B u t , after a l l , that's the point.
Zanie
11 October 1991
Felix 912
Career's Fair
ICU Career's Fair 1991 On the Queen's Lawn,
next Tuesday and Wednesday. The
some c o m p a n i e s are o n l y c o m i n g
have any general questions as to
p l a n , there w i l l be a large marquee
employers are here not to interview
for one day. A full list o f companies
what to d o at the fair.
c o v e r i n g two thirds o f the Q u e e n ' s
y o u , but for y o u to interview them.
o n each day is listed b e l o w . M o s t
lawn:
They
of
By
Monday,
all things g o i n g
the venue
for
this
Imperial C o l l e g e U n i o n
to
year's
Career's
F a i r . O n T u e s d a y , at 9 . 3 0 a m , the
Software.. .and
will
not
others.
be
making
any
the
companies
will
have
The
fair
is not o n l y
open
to
students graduating this year. A n y
judgement u p o n y o u , but are here
brochures and application f o r m at
student,
for
career
there stands; these c a n be taken
interest or l o o k i n g for a S u m m e r vacation j o b , is very w e l c o m e . It is
you
to decide
which
whether
it be
just
for
y o u the best
w o u l d best suit y o u . O r m a y b e y o u
away and read at length afterwards.
opportunity for f i ndi ng y o u r s e l f a
have already made up y o u r m i n d as
A list o f deadlines for application
in y o u r interest to make the most o f
job
to the field o f w o r k y o u w i s h to go
forms
this opportunity especially given the
w i d e range o f e m p l o y e r s are again
into, but have yet to decide u p o n a
careers
attending this year, with companies
company.
Sherfield b u i l d i n g . T h e r e w i l l be a
time,
doors
open
giving
after y o u have graduated.
A
c a n be
obtained f r o m the
centre office,
room
310
current climate where for the first graduates
are
having
from backgrounds o f A c c o u n t a n c y ,
T h e fair is open o n both T u e s d a y
careers centre stand at the entrance
difficulties in g o i n g straight into a
E n g i n e e r i n g , Scientific R e s e a r c h ,
and W e d n e s d a y o f next week and
o f the marquee - see p l a n opposite.
career.
Oil,
is worth attending o n both days, as
S o m e o n e w i l l help y o u here i f y o u
Banking,
Computer
Jeremy Burnell, Careers Fair
Both Days
Both Days
Tuesday
Manager.
Wednesday A i r Products P L C
Albright & Wilson L t d
Ministry o f Defence - D E S / D S G
Bankers Trust C o m p a n y
Andersen Consulting
Mobil
B D O Binder H a m l y n
ASW
Arthur Andersen
Monsanto P L C
BOC
Barclays Bank
Holdings P L C
National G r i d P L C
C o o p e r s & L y b r a n d Deloitte
D a t a Sciences
British Petroleum
National Physical Laboratory
DTI
Engineering Research Centre
B P Research
Nestle
Esso
Exxon Chemical Ltd
B r i t i s h Steel
Nuclear Electric
Fisons P L C
PowerGen
British Telecom
Ove
HM
U n i t e d Biscuits ( U K )
Banque
Indosuez
C a d b u r y Schweppes
PLC
Chevron U K Ltd D a v y M c K e e (Stockton)
Ltd
Arup
Government
Police Service
Communications Centre
Price
Johnson Matthey Technology
Waterhouse
Proctor &
Gamble
Centre
'
Mars
D e r w e n t Publications L t d
Rolls Royce
D R A Aerospace Division
Rowntree Mackintosh
Recruitment and Assessment
D R A Maritime Division
Schlumberger
Technica Ltd
D u Pont ( U K )
SD-Scicon
T o u c h e Ross
Smithkline Beecham
Unilever P L C
Ernst &
Ltd
Young
Grant Thornton
T A S C - T e a c h i n g as a C a r e e r
K P M G Peat M a r w i c k M c L i n t o c k
Unit
L i l l y Industries
Tat e & L y l e P L C
Logica
WS
PLC Ltd
College Career's
Service
will have a stand both days
Atkins
COLLEGE CAREERS OFFICE SHERFIELD, ROOM 310, TELEPHONE: E X T . 3251
O p e n 10am - 5 p m
Monday - Friday — 8 —
Career's Fair
Felix 912
11 October 1991
Stand Layout Tuesday
15th
Coopers &
October
Monsanto PLC
Lybrand Deloitie
EXIT
Schlumberger
Albright & Wilson Ltd
Derwenl
Recruitment an
Publications Ltd
Assessment Services
EXIT
Ministry of DefenceDES/DSG
DRA Aerospace Division
DRA Maritime
Bankers Trust Company
National Physical Laboratory
Touche Ross
Division
Grant Thornton
Rowntree Macintosh
Nestle
WS Atkins
Janque Indosuez
BP
National Grid
BOC
Technica Ltd
Price Waterhouse
British Steel
PLC
BP Research
m X
o HM Government
Ou Pont (UK)
Communications
Ltd
Arthur Andersen
Police Service
Lilly Industries
Smithkline
Logica
Johnson
Proctor &
Beecham
2 § 2. S CD (A
Matthey
Gamble
Technology
Centre
»
Centre Mobil
BDO Binder
Cad bury
Hamlyn
Schweppes PLC
Davy McKee KPMG (Stockton 1 Ltd Peat Marwick McLintock-
Careers Centre Stand
Tate & Lyle PLC
Chevron UK Ltd Ove Arup
EXIT
MAIN ENTRANCE
TASC - Teaching as a Career Unit
M a i n Dining
Hall
Nuclear Electric
Andersen Consulting
Sherfield
Ante-Room
Wednesday 16th October Derwent Publications Ltd
EXIT
Schlumberger
Ministry of Defence-
EXIT
DRA Aerospace Division
DRA Maritime
Barclay's
Division
Bank
National Physica United Biscuits Laboratory UK Limited
National Grid
Powergen PLC
Data Sciences
Price Waterhouse
British Steel
PLC
DES/DSG
Albright & Wilson Ltd
Grant Thornton
Rowntree Macintosh
Nestle
WS Atkins
Janque Indosuez
BP
BP Research
ASW
Ou Pont (UK!
Arthur Andersen
Police Service
Lilly Industries
Smithkline
Logica
Proctor &
Engineering
Holdings
Ltd
Gamble
Research
0
o
X
z. s
1 Beecham
PLC
Mobil
Centre
Air Products
Cadbury
Davy McKee
PLC
Schweppes PLC
(Stockton) Ltd
KPMG Peat Marwick McLintock
Careers
Tate & Lyle
Chevron UK
Centre
PLC
Ltd
Stand Ove Arup
EXIT
TASC • Teaching as a Career Unit
M a i n Dining
Hall
MAIN ENTRANCE
Ante-Room
Nuclear Electric
Andersen Consulting
Sherfield
11 October 1991
Felix 912
Feature
The first Monday of term and after
A n d The
Family
Cat.
I thought
enthusiastic, awaiting acts o f r i b -
drawn
tickling
assembled mass h o w to be
cards
he
instructed
the
o n the M 4 0 but were slightly m o r e
unfortunately none o f w h i c h were
entertaining
o n sale here, t h e y ' r e signed to the
than be i ng
the
said
the a m a z i n g l y stressful registration
that they were better than Bob.
process e v e r y b o d y was in need o f
it, y o u were there. Y o u were there
T h e c o m p e r e had a nice line in
o n ' . T h i s is funny for 10 minutes
a nice relaxing evening. T h e
New
weren't y o u . N o ? T h e n y o u are one
understated laddish h u m o u r . Sadly
o n Paramount C i t y (where P a r k e r
Year's
but.
of
he b e l i e v e d that the o n l y c o m m o n
has appeared) but any longer and it
a good live band. 'Monsters A n d
factor
becomes tedious.
Angels',
Bob.
Party
was
anything
T h a t ' s a rather funny name
Bob
are far and away the best
saddest,
nay
the
saddest
pathetic person in this place. After that the e - V o l u t i o n club that
for a b a n d . Y e s . It's short for, err, Bob.
the
Sod
had
been
r u n n i n g upstairs
since
Five Days that
freshness.
in
'Yoof
culture
is
an
Feature
Felix 912
11 October 1991 'right
same r e c o r d label as The Cure.
h e d g e h o g . Step O f f . Voice of the Beehive,
now there's
T Say N o t h i n g ' , classic
B l o o d y g o o d , as y o u ' r e a s k i n g . If y o u missed this through queueing
u n d y i n g wish to talk about football.
C e r t a i n l y , the c o m p e r e was the
p o p songs all o f them. W h a t a c o u p
for a b u r g e r
H e ran through a list o f important
best thing there (unless A l a n Parker
to get them to play here. I saw them
generally
topics such as, T h e P o l i c e , m o r e
can find a new joke). E v e r y o n e else
the other week at C a m b r i d g e , and
really
football, drugs and y o u r G r a n d m a s
present
use
although the exchange o f the rapier-
of
the
word
'pop',
before
i n t r o d u c i n g us to the first act;
sharp
It was revealed that Sean L o c k was p e r f o r m i n g for the first time at
enjoyed
wit
themselves,
o f trained m i n d s
was
or faffing
unconscious
screwed
up
or
being
then this
you time.
they were b l o o d y g o o d . I w o n d e r
'Fountain O f Y o u t h ' , ' K i n g d o m ' ,
h o w t h e y ' l l fare at I C U ?
about seven or eight other songs.
U p the stairs then. T h r o u g h the
A n d an encore. A n d about as close
definitely absent, the best h e c k l e I
door, and what is it. N o t B-hives
at
to stage i n v a s i o n as I've seen here.
heard was
all. S o m e k i n d o f crap m u s i c , but
S h a m e t h e y ' r e so ugly really. S t i l l ,
'fuck
off.
the c o m e d y night. A l l that I noticed
seeing as I a m the o n l y person i n
what
was
this building who actually saw them
personality that counts.
that he seemed
So
what are they like?
rather upset
do
looks
matter,
it's
Your chance to relive
happy
memories
of
Freshers'
Week.
Send a copy of Felix home to your mother and grandmother and her
budgie.
band to have p l a y e d Imperial for,
around nine o ' c l o c k was flooded by
o o o h , between five and ten minutes.
those
he lost his temper a huge n u m b e r
y o u are reading this
T h e m u s i c p l a y e d and the people
o f times. T h i s i l l control e m o t i o n
review because y o u can't remember
r a v e d , and a generally g o o d time
If, h o w e v e r ,
squat, it's tough shit. I ' m not g o i n g
was
to tell y o u what y o u m i s s e d , and it
twelve
will
teach
you
not
to
drink
to
excess. The
Family
Cat
were m u c h the
same. W h a t d o y o u m e a n , y o u want to k n o w what I thought. W h a t is this,
had by (or
remember?)
could
still
about something, so m u c h so that
walk.
that
all. A t was the
around
it latter,
I
sweeting
Bob
to
were
points
Mr
Lock
half
appeared
cant
talking about. T h i s could have been
mass
said to add a 'surreal element' to the
unsure
what
he
was
m o v e d downstairs, complete with a
'comic
four feet tall ' e ' . A t around three
known
in the m o r n i n g the hundre d or so
'embarrassing
people
result. N i c e try but he needs a bit
left
standing
staggered
home.
moment',
but
the
better
phenomena silence'
of was
the
m o r e experience.
Points o f V i e w ? . V e r y w e l l then. I thought
lead
Wednesday
was
The
Freshers
The Family Cat Comedy Night compere The Giants of Jive T h a n k G o d it's F r i d a y ! T h e last day
that doesn't describe them as c r a p ,
of
I d o n ' t see w h y I s h o u l d disagree
w e r e , w e l l , j i v e . I haven't
with
anyone who likes j i v e yet, but w h e n
what w i l l
probably
In addition to the bands and disco
public
o p i n i o n , or something. All
Candyland
freshers
l o n g awaited A l a n P a r k e r stormed
lethal cocktails were on offer, ready
Candyland.
to r e m o v e y o u r m o n e y and y o u r
following me, you know, I mean,
b r a i n cells.
why
r e m i n d e d m e o f the sort o f people
to say t h e y ' r e bad. N o t to say they
Freshers
who
were different either. T h e y just are,
C o n s e q u e n t l y the C o n c e r t H a l l is
W o r k e r ' w he ne v e r y o u want to do
The
like J o h n M a j o r just is.
w a l l to w a l l with the y o u n g and
a quiet bit o f s h o p p i n g . W i t h hand
life as a small squashed
Alan
appear
Parker's
selling
act
'Socialist
else
I
still
would
think they
they're
come
I m p e r i a l . I m e a n , this band Disciples
h a d about as m u c h hedgehog
Ray JellyBelly's
Giants Of Jive found
I d o , I'll tell y o u what they thought.
non
please refer to last years review o f
onstage.
10-
overwhelming
film shows. Outside burgers and the
Freshers that bought the A l l - i n - O n e go.
such
After a short break, the awesome, C o m e d y N i g h t aptly named as only ever
most
there were the traditonal casino and
sounded pretty m u c h the same as
tickets
the
enjoyable week at Imperial College.
every other indie guitar b a n d , not
week
Shook the World to
have
p l a y e d W e m b l e y A r e n a , and have cooler T-shirts than James or Neds,
—
I thought that they were quite g o o d , but the m u s i c just a i n ' t m y style honey.
Next Week. Next Friday, I C ents present Spitfire, supported by Herb, doors open 9pm, tickets £3 (£2.50 adv. £1.50 ents c a r d ) . So there
It—
Felix 912
Clubs & Societies
11 October 1991
Freshers' Tournament T h e traditional curtain raiser to the Imperial C o l l e g e
Snooker
A f t e r h i s defeat,
Mike
Spence
season
c o m m e n t e d that A m i n u r w a s " a
1991
are a foot for this years
November
Open Snooker Championships. So
Flash Gordon 7 p m , T u e s d a y 15th O c t , M e c h E n g 220
was held last S u n d a y . T h e annual
b l o o d y g o o d p l a y e r ' ' and went o n
i f y o u still haven't j o i n e d the c l u b
Freshers Tournament provided a
to predict that he w o u l d
and want to, then c o m e along to the
Yep,
showcase for new snooker talent at
tournament.
c l u b d u r i n g any l u n c h time.
underwear
Imperial. T h i s years finalists had to
A m i n u r R a h m a n went o n to w i n the
w i n the
A n d so it w a s that
c o m e through a field o f 28 starters
tournament
and a marathon five and a half hours
frame, thus c o l l e c t i n g the £15 first
o f snooker.
prize.
T h e first s e m i - f i n a l match was
without
T h e loudest
dropping
afternoon went to the o n l y female
b o d y " . See 007 ( T i m o t h y Dalton)
Hear
players reached the semi-finals after
But she narrowly failed to reach the
i n the earlier
quarter finals, after a gallant effort
A r e y o u a mature student and want
Brian
in her second r o u n d m a t c h .
to meet others? If so then c o m e and
"Dive!".
s e m i - f i n a l , R o b e r t beat S i m o n two frames
to n i l , i n 2 close
fought
to
by a green slime thing! E x p e r i e n c e
J o i n I C O F now and save the j o b s o f thousands o f spaceship m o d e l -
E v e r y o n e is w e l c o m e . If y o u c a n ' t
and M i k e
Spence
made
two
to
have lunch in the U n i o n L o u n g e o n
make
Aminur
his m e n
M o n d a y 14th O c t o b e r at 1 2 . 3 0 p m .
atmosphere o f the S n o o k e r C l u b ,
(Chemistry)
tell
o n the pleasant
comment
located o n the top floor o f the U n i o n
(Maths).
Blessed
Several competitors were heard
games. T h e second semi-final w a s Rahman
slime
thing.See Peter D a v i s o n get bitten
between
Aminur
"Dispatch
not get bitten b y a green
defeating her first r o u n d opponent.
frame
Queen
W a r R o c k e t A j a x to b r i n g b a c k his
and R o b e r t T r o s i n o (Maths). B o t h
rounds. In a best o f three
after
Calling All Mature Students
competitor,
wins
James,
the universe
a few m i n o r races between here and Mongo).
between S i m o n B o u g h (Chemistry)
comfortable
Helen
saving
again (not to mention the E a r t h and
a
cheer o f the
i t ' s that g u y i n the silver
it a n d w o u l d
like
to get
makers.
It o n l y
costs
£2.50 to
become a member, and this includes
b u i l d i n g , and h o w v e r y reasonable
i n v o l v e d i n this c l u b then please
seeing
the £5 m e m b e r s h i p was for the use
contact
(Union
Otherwise it costs £1 for all paid up
Receptionist) a n d
m e m b e r s w h o have already seen a
Michelle
successful c o m e backs to w i n o n the
o f four full size tables for the whole
Administrative
pink and black respectively, beating
year.
we'll
M i k e two frames to n i l .
tournament has ended, preparations
So
n o w the Freshers
Began
get i n t o u c h
with y o u
your
film
film.
To all clubs...
CAN YOU WRITE?
Please
FCLIX
supply all
sports results or any club's
news,
no matter
m e
trivial,
d
how
before
Monday
n
lunchtime.
f e n
—12—
free.
film this year. F o r m o r e details turn up o n the
regarding future events.
first
Clubs & Societies
Felix 912
11 October 1991
Historical Fact or Fiction Is there r o o m at Imperial for
such
sentimental
of
Y e t , m u c h o f what we know from
or y o u r g i r l f r i e n d says she loves
Christianity is an historical o n e . It
The
science speaks o f G o d , that there is
y o u , o r a friend in the b u r n unit o f
College
drivel
as
issue
of
the
truth
religion? Here, at one o f the world's
is a n issue o f whether there is a
a Creator behind the intricate design
a hospital o r the birth o f y o u r first
finest
personal G o d w h o spoke a n d acted
of
child. T h e question will assert itself,
institutions
inquiry
and
development
of
scientific
technological
(superior
in
most
nature.We've
a l l k n o w n the
through a m a n , Jesus
'teleological impulse' that entices us
'why
Christ, and speaks and acts through
to say that plants ' w a n t ' to get at
and impulses?' Is chemistry the last
light,
answer?
decisively
respects to C a m b r i d g e , as we all
him
or
water
k n o w ) , is there a place, ought there
evidence that Jesus existed is far
together.
The
be a place, f o r such unscientific
weightier, a c c o r d i n g to objective,
scientific training doesn't obliterate
questions
nonsense as C h r i s t i a n i t y ?
c o m m o n l y accepted c r i t e r i a , than
that nagging
Christianity, but Christianity offers
the
came from
W e l l is there r o o m i n Imperial for
even
now.
evidence
that
T h e historical
Julius
Caesar
'tries' most
sense
to
stay
d o we have these reactions
rigorous
that ' a l l this
somewhere'.
existed. T h e contention that Jesus
d i d he d o i n h i s A - l e v e l s ? ) Y o u
was m o r e than a great m a n is also
k n o w , indeed cannot k n o w ,
w e l l supported b y s o l i d historical
science speaks for the existance o f
arguments.
something
prove
b y a n y 'scientific
m e t h o d ' that Julius C a e s a r actually ever
existed.
Beyond
Y o u cannot d o an
the
historical
issue,
A n d even m o r e , what we d o not
beyond
mere
existance
doesn't
of
such
vouch
for
real answers. F o r all scientists w h o
Julius Caesar? (That depends - how cannot
The
from
happen to also be h u m a n Christianity
beings,
m a y merit a bit o f
research.
science. T h e
If y o u are interested i n k n o w i n g
longings o f the h u m a n heart, o u r
m o r e , we are r u n n i n g a series o f presentations and discussions o n the
the
however, is an existential one. T h a t
well-nigh
validity o f the theory that Julius
is the issue o f what sense, i f a n y ,
affections, that b i o c h e m i s t r y c a n ' t
core
C a e s a r w a s . N o r c a n y o u formulate
to make o f this life a n d h o w to l i v e
satisfactorily
T u e s d a y at 12.30 p m i n E l e c E n g
it.
ana
towards a higher knowledge than is
4 0 3 B . O r y o u c a n contact m e o n
will
accessible
071-584-2933
experiment
an
equation
to
demonstrate
that
will
y i e l d the
Scientific
research
inevitable result: 'Julius C a e s a r ' .
mathematical
The
never tell y o u whether there is such
issue
of
Julius
Caesar's
calculations
irresistable desires and
to
explain,
impel
simple
us
laboratory
w o r k . E a s y e n o u g h to say it's a l l a
existance is an historical o n e , and
a thing as i o v e ' , o r goodness, o r
matter o f electrical impulses a n d
historical
meaning
chemical
questions
are
not
susceptible to scientific methods.
i n this activity w e call
reactions
-
O R I G I N A L
remind
T A L E N T
Innovative, creative, dynamic; Bankers Trust is among the most sophisticated merchant banking organisations in the world. O u r approach stresses originality, both i n the deals we do for our clients and in our people. Each year we seek out a group of talented individuals at graduate level for our offices i n London and continental Europe. Strong quantitative skills are a prerequisite and language fluency highly advantageous; originality and the drive to excel are essential.
Careers fair: Tuesday 15 October 1991 9.30am to 4.00pm Queen's Lawn, Imperial College If you can't make the careers fair check your careers service for a copy of our 1991-1992 brochure or contact: Graduate/MBA Recruitment-Europe Bankers Trust Company, 1 Appold Street, Broadgate, London EC2A 2HE. Tel: 071-982 2500.
— 13—
or
every
through
Ben Quant, I C U Christian Outreach, Biochem II.
| An exceptional opportunity in merchant hanking
BankersTrust Company
o f Christianity
p i g e o n hole.
y o u r s e l f o f w h e n y o u r father dies,
'life'.
facts
my
11 October 1991
Felix 912
Reviews
Waiting for Godot c o v e . W e l l , exactly two actually. However,
S a m (as we k n o w Him)
g i v e n that said experiences are so few,
consisting m a i n l y o f getting
manages to simultaneously weave
beaten up and m i x i n g with a strange
this into what the p r o g r a m
class o f people. T h e r e is a lot o f
notes
c l a i m is an A l l e g o r y o f the Theatre
visual humour and a few great gags,
O f T h e A b s u r d . W h i c h it m a y w e l l
but the air o f m e l a n c h o l y prevails
For
be, but what this translates to is that
(thanks to the script rather than R i k
Godot in 1955, w h i c h makes it all
very little happens over a great deal
and
the m o r e remarkable that it sounds
o f time. V l a d i m i r and Estragon are
turns to metaphor and leaves the
S a m u e l Beckett wrote Waiting
Ade's
portrayal).
The
story
extraordinarily as though it were
generally unhappy with their lot,
audience something to think about.
written with R i k M a y a l l and A d r i a n
although E s t r a g o n is pretty m u c h
T h e t h i n k i n g time easily elapses in
E d m o n s o n in m i n d . W h i c h is just
incapable o f r e m e m b e r i n g any o f it
the time it takes to get outside.
as w e l l , since it is none other than
and
they w h o tread the boards to b r i n g
pontificating o n the finer points o f
generation
Vladimir
is
too
busy
T h e play m a y introduce a to Beckett or
new
simply
are
p h i l o s o p h y to notice. D u r i n g their
disappoint both purists o f literature
D e r e k J a r m a n , although it c o u l d
waiting for G o d o t . T h a t ' s about it
v i g i l , they repeatedly fail to make
and bottom j o k e s . I liked it, and we
equally
really. W h i l e they wait they discuss
sense
saw H a r r y E n f i e l d i n the audience.
life etc. and c o m p l a i n o f the c l a p ,
endless
not to mention meeting the o d d r u m
steadily m o r e tiresome, especially
us
this
adaptation well
(designed
have
been
by
Derek
Griffiths). T h e story tells o f two gentlemen
o f fortune ( O K ,
tramps) w h o
o f their experiences loop
which
i n an
becomes
The Grazing Plywood Persil Baked Bean
Gerbil/Tetsuo at the Science M u s e u m m
M i c h a e l Faraday! Charles Babbage! R A L the R o b o t ! W h a t is there to
vertical
walls. walk
Don't
past
the
video
screens, they demonstrate some o f
say?
the most impressive robotics o f the
W e l l , p r o b a b l y a little bit m o r e than that w o u l d be useful. A t the
show. M y favourites are the pipe
m o m e n t the S c i e n c e M u s e u m (free
welder and the pipe cleaner. T h e
to I C , feast,
kids !)
boasts a
first welds a section o f pipe f r o m
veritable
the
nay, glut o f exhibitions to
Tying
in with
exhib w h i c h features
(count
them,
mechanical
loads)
Mecchano
sections
in
of
our
pals
in a
of
the
twiddly
devils
round
straights.
loads
the
second
its m u l t i p l e
corners
With
and
up
headlights
resembling the head o f a tapeworm, it c o u l d be straight f r o m a s c i - f i horror movie!
variety o f exciting ' n ' fresh roles. Most
whereas
turning and d r a g g i n g
the F e s t i v a l o f
Japan, we start with a Robotics Japan
inside
inches its w a y a l o n g a thin tube,
regale y o u r senses.
are
T h e second half o f the exhibition
displaying their skills at useful tasks
is interesting, but a little r u n o f the
like balancing spinning tops o n eggs
m i l l . It contains industrial robots
o r b u i l d i n g small steel boxes with
performing
flag designs o n t h e m . E i t h e r that or
pleasing
c l i m b i n g walls v e r y badly (ie. with
painting and flower arranging. T h e
more
tasks,
aesthetically
such
as
portrait
all the alacrity o f a stoned squirrel)
technology o f the times, but
and pretending to be o n M a r s . L o t s
100 ! years later the M u s e u m has
w a l k past a major tourist attraction
mention,
of
built
without
a
cringe worthy part o f the display. It
them
do
including
nice
things,
himself,
a
working
version
to
Every
day
hundreds second
an
Babbage's o w n specs, all glistening
Science
Museum,
industrial welding robot who counts
brass and clickety-clockety ratchety
genius,
is
d a n c i n g (yeah !) and s u m i painting
things. H o o r a y !
amongst
R A L
arty
now
Jolly
his hobbies.
paintings
he
does
treasure
my
too;
nice
I
black-and-
shall white
b a m b o o for some time to c o m e . M e a n w h i l e , downstairs there's a special bit referring to the w o r k o f Charles
Babbage,
gentleman
responsible
wonderfully Engine.
Esq.,
baroque
Said
abortive
Engine
attempt
to
for
the the
Difference w as build
And
upstairs
a
gallery of
Technology, 31st.
you
should
be
ashamed o f yourself. L o t s o f w e i r d
an
Americanised
the
Looking
Alice Glass
strolling though current technology
After
futuristic
Japanese
until
open
October
It's an interesting exhibition, with
an appalling
(but
short)
scheduled throughout the day. Y o u must not miss the first
paraphernalia and the m a n h i m s e l f
precursors
model
(despite his great o l d age) lectures
T h e s e ancient toys use sand and
engine either, situated b e h i n d the
every d a y .
balances to m o v e , delivering tea or
shop. E v e r y b o d y at I C should take
wonderful
electrical
an
A l l g o o d rip r o a r i n ' educational
a
fun and free too. D o n ' t forget that
doorway,
Japanese
the g i z m o s .
gracefully window
of
one hits the
technology
robot that m o v e s slow
cleaner
robots.
steps. T h r o u g h a
however,
T h i s failure was put d o w n at the
The Flying Gerbil
to
tumbling d o w n forefront
happy-go-lucky
Through
v i d e o , a small display contains the
and
walking
the
contains
to
most
demonstrations o f all the m a c h i n e s
kiddies in L a u n c h Pad and play with
to
of
the
in simulated 3 D . W o r t h a l o o k i f
i f nothing else y o u c a n fight o f f the
time
FREE
being
y o u c a n stand it.
computer,
Victorian
repository
currently
and
w h i c h never succeeded in its day.
mechanical
The
current
M i c h a e l Faraday and i f I have to tell is
glance.
introduction, h o w e v e r , is worth a
excuse not to see the e x h i b i t i o n o f
you
he
students
students at I m p e r i a l , so there's n o again,
devoted to the life and w o r k s who
of
animal that
will
of
advantage
Babbage's
of
the
free
working difference
entrance,
especially y o u lady engineers, since
a
one o f the staff was c o m p l a i n i n g o f
like a
the predominance o f males. Sounds
with and
a
climb
familiar d o e s n ' t it.
Tetsuo
11 October 1991
Felix 912
Feature
Tiddlywinking and Penguin on M o n o p o l y . Oxford
R o s e s a r o u n d E r o s . T h e n despite a
most o f the collectors had a r r i v e d !
The
Street is always w e l l attended, but
Tiddlywinking
valiant attempt to escape, P e n g u i n
A barrel o f F l o w e r s O r i g i n a l was
£2,804.81, c o m p a r e d with £1,400
was grabbed by the C C U E x e c s and
put o n by the staff and was o f f by
collected
was t h r o w n into the fountain.
7 p m . T h a t ' s 288 pints i n itself. T h e
tiddlywinking.
staff
totals for the i n d i v i d u a l C C U s are:
this
year
the
everyone's The
down
turn-out
exceeded
expectations.
day
began w i t h
everyone
After lunch, the vans ferried most
then
London
put
on
Pride
an
unsettled
which
no-one
last The
year's
approximate
N o t t i n g H i l l G a t e , to try to ' D r i n k -
touched as it wasn't fit to drink. N o
' W a k e y W a k e y S o u t h s i d e ' by this
a - p u b - d r y ' . B y m i d — a f t e r n o o n , the
others c a m e o f f tap, but all were
year's R A G chairman, Penguin.
bar staff had realised that e v e r y o n e
severely depleted and a c o u p l e o f
The
U n i o n vans then ferried everyone
was there for the sole purpose o f
shorts were d r a i n e d . A l l i n a l l , I
T a m s i n B r a i s h e r w h o managed to
to S p e a k e r ' s C o r n e r ( H y d e P a r k )
c o n s u m i n g vast quantities o f alcohol
reckon it was a triumphant success!'
get
for
with the ultimate a i m o f d r i n k i n g
A l t h o u g h the pub was
c o l l e c t o r was M a s s i e H a r p e r
Tiddlywink.
After
Boomalakas,
the
the
mammoth
Kangelas
and
Arms,
at
was
were led in a V E R Y l o u d c a l l o f
of
Macaulay
collected
people
start
the
total
assembling at Southside where they
the
to
final
dry,
the place d r y .
tiddlywinking
The
following
information
is
there
w as
not d r u n k
an
excellent
atmosphere amongst the collectors
courtesy o f an independent expert:
(and
RAG
'Boddington's
afternoon and evening was declared
c o l l e c t i n g cans and a
tiddly w i n k s ,
nearly 2 2 0
tiddlywinked
there
few
students
way
and L o n d o n
Pride
were off within half an hour, before
a
a
few
others).
The
whole
began at about n o o n . A r m e d with
complete
R C S - £1750 C & G - £870 M i n e s - £120 fresher
£53.71
and
collector the
collected £77.43.
was
overall
top who
B o t h totals
are
excellent. W e l l done to e v e r y o n e else w h o c o l l e c t e d - every p e n n y helps!
success.
along
top
A l l o f the m o n e y collected o n Saturday is g o i n g to Action
Aid,
O x f o r d Street and Regent Street to
w h o help people in the third w o r l d
E r o s , c o l l e c t i n g m o n e y f r o m the
to help themselves.
c r o w d s o f shoppers as they went.
If T i d d l y w i n k i n g is anything to
T w o o f the inviolate mascots — Jez and B o
— accompanied
go
the
by,
then
(including
tiddlywinkers o n their travels. M o s t
the
this
year's
Live
t o m o r r o w ) s h o u l d be
RAG
Monopoly BIG!
people finished b y about 2 p m and despite the fact that it started to rain,
Beccy L a n d
everyone joined in R i n g - a - R i n g - a -
Hiya!
RAG
T h e catch is that there are lots o f
C h a i r m a n here. W e l l , last Saturday
It's
Penguin, the
other R A G s c o m i n g to collect for
We
the d a y , so y o u ' l l have to c o m p e t e
which
against t h e m . T h e r e are also p r i z e s
was double last year's total, and had
f r o m us here at I C R A G . O u r usual
lots o f fun too.
incentive
was
(almost) b e y o n d
belief.
raised an a m a z i n g £2800,
Great effort was put i n by all o f the
CCU
and
Rag
people,
but
ultimately it was those who put their all
into ' c o l l e c t i n g , w i n k i n g
drinking' who
Fun and frolics on Oxford
Street
m o n e y at T i d d l y w i n k s , y o u ' v e got raises loads! It's a team g a m e , so
w h i c h must be c a r r i e d at all times,
get y o u r team o f 4 to 6 together
turning up in fancy dress (the sillier
all c o n c e r n e d !
NOW
the
tell
about
if
you
haven't
already.
Live
B a s i c a l l y we g i v e each team a set
M o n o p o l y (it's great, d o it, y o u ' l l
o f clues and each m e m b e r o f each
have fun, w e ' l l
raise loads
team gets a c o l l e c t i n g c a n .
ooops!
sales
Sorry,
you
. . .
pitch
on
overdrive) I'd better c h u c k i n some
operates
so i f y o u ' v e already collected some
and it an
I
also
T - s h i r t and £300 for a sweatshirt),
event to remember! S o well done to
Before
really made
scheme
(collect £50 for a m u g , £150 for a
better),
and
by
acquiring
a head start! Last £4,600,
year,
Monopoly
but w i t h o u r
raised
astounding
start to this year, I r e c k o n we c o u l d
treasure. is a l w a y s a dubious
easily d o u b l e that! A l l we need are
The
title, because most people tend to,
L O T S o f teams collecting L O T S o f
clues are y o u r t e a m ' s reason
for
w e l l let's not beat a r o u n d the bush
m o n e y and h a v i n g L O T S o f fun i n
manically mobbing
all
o n this one, ' n i c k ' signs and cones.
the process! S o , dress u p , be silly
y o u r way
'Treasure'
thank-yous. T h a n k s must go to D i c e
o v e r our b e l o v e d capital.
T h i s isn't difficult, let's face
it,
and w e ' l l see y o u for registration in
and G a m e s w h o generously donated
W e ' v e basically got a clue for every
anyone c a n n i c k a c o n e ! S o w e ' r e
B E I T Q U A D f r o m 10am o n w a r d s
2 , 0 0 0 t i d d l y w i n k s , without w h i c h
street on the M o n o p o l y board. E a c h
l o o k i n g for ' c l e v e r ' treasure. In the
(though we want e v e r y o n e b a c k b y
the w h o l e day w o u l d n ' t have been
clue, for w h i c h y o u have to visit the
past, c l e v e r treasure has i n c l u d e d a
6 p m , so the sooner y o u start, the
street to be able to solve, is worth
fast-food baseball c a p , a fast food
m o r e time y o u have!
a certain n u m b e r o f points.
employee's
possible.
T h a n k s also to A
Geographers'
Map
Co
to
Ltd,
Z
who
The
badge
saying
'Grim
k i n d l y donated 15 c o l o u r A to Z s ,
team with the most points wins. T h e
Reaper, h o w m a y I help y o u ? ' and
to g i v e
C C U ' s m o t o r i s e d mascots w i l l be
an arrest warrant all o f these were
travelling
obtained by haggle and banter, not
as
freshers.
prizes
And
to the top
thanks
to
all
15 the
drivers and the C C U s for their help. Right w e l l that's e n o u g h o f m e thanking
people,
MONOPOLY
(it's
great,
do
around
Community
Chest
to and
act
as
Chance
cards, and a r o a m i n g j a i l v a n w i l l
now
also be o n the p r o w l to capture any
it,
team it sees. Y o u can also get points
y o u ' l l have F u n , w e ' l l raise loads
in
other
ways.
These
include
Live
c o l l e c t i n g lots o f m o n e y (this is the
M o n o p o l y is always great fun and
easiest way), having a team mascot
.
.
.
oops
sorry
again).
S o , B e M a d , B e S i l l y & B e Part O f It!!
Cheers,
P E N G U I N - Rag C h a i r 91/92
spanner and boltcutters. S o there's
P S B e c c y d i d this y e a r ' s c l u e s , so
a challenge for y o u !
she's the one to bribe (if y o u c a n
P R I Z E S . Y e s , there are p r i z e s ,
find out w h o she is).
too! F i r s t l y there's the prizes f r o m
PPS
M E N C A P
Southside at the c r a c k o f
(for
whom
we're
L a s t Saturday
we
woke
up
11am.
collecting) for the highest personal
L o o k out Beit! A n y suggestions for
totals o f the d a y . T h e s e are B I G .
a W a k e y W a k e y E v e l y n Gardens?
—15—
Felix 912
Advertisement
11 October 1991
Should we employ you if you always say^s'? • No
•Yes There's n o p o i n t i n recruiting some-
O f c o u r s e this is the a n s w e r w e ' r e
one just to agree w i t h y o u .
l o o k i n g for. I n fact, it's so o b v i o u s l y
B u t there is a sense i n w h i c h we are
the answer w e ' r e l o o k i n g for, o n l y a
l o o k i n g for m e n a n d w o m e n w h o are
y e s - p e r s o n w o u l d t i c k it.
p o s i t i v e t h i n k e r s . I n other w o r d s , y e s -
Maybe
people, rather t h a n b u r e a u c r a t s . People
in a n o - w i n dilemma.
is p o s s i b l e , a n d w h o c a n c o m e u p w i t h
If y o u ' v e s p o t t e d that, t h e n y o u ' r e
n e w ideas a n d s o l u t i o n s . .
definitely
W h e r e a y e s - p e r s o n sees challenges,
the k i n d
of person
we're
l o o k i n g for.
a b u r e a u c r a t o n l y sees p r o b l e m s .
B e c a u s e w o r k i n g for B P i n v o l v e s
k n o w s that a mistake
m a k i n g d e c i s i o n s where
c a n often be t u r n e d i n t o a n advantage
are few a n d far b e t w e e n .
later o n .
easy
answers
H o w d o y o u assess projects that only
O t h e r s t r y o n l y to a v o i d mistakes
wrong
w i t h the q u e s t i o n because it puts y o u
w h o believe that a n y t h i n g
A yes-person
there is s o m e t h i n g
i n the first place,
making
c o m e to f r u i t i o n i n the d i s t a n t future?
knowing
Is it better to back the strategy that
that n e w ideas always c a r r y risks a n d
pays £10 m i l l i o n over 9 years o r the one
so the safest answer for t h e m to give is
that w i l l p a y £2 m i l l i o n over 3 years?
generally n o . Of
course
B u t before y o u m a k e d e c i s i o n s like the w o r l d
needs
both
that w e w i l l have to make a n i m p o r t a n t
sorts o f people. But
our kind
one a b o u t y o u . of
rare. If they weren't,
yes-people are
We
we w o u l d n ' t be
can't p r o m i s e that the answer
w i l l be yes. B u t i f y o u d o n ' t a p p l y y o u
r u n n i n g this a d .
c a n be sure that it w i l l be n o .
For all our tomorrows.
For all our tomorrows.
—16—
Felix 912
11 October 1991
Editorial
T h i s is m y fourth editorial so far
Please write l e g i b l y o n a piece o f
and i t ' s not getting any easier. I
paper the name o f y o u r c l u b (or
have the unfortunate handicap o f
equivalent), the time o f the event
not being so opinionated that I can
am/pm, w h e r e it is and what it is,
witter o n ad nauseam every week.
i f necessary. T a m u c h l y .
M a n y apologies to those w h o got
Staff meeting.
entitled ' G r a d u a t e i s m ' o n page 4,
their F e l i x late last week - this was
I hereby c a l l a staff meeting for
which
because o f an emergency w h i c h had
M o n d a y 12.30 i n the F e l i x office.
to
T h i s time I p r o m i s e I ' l l be there.
take
precedence
over
Felix
col l ati on.
week
Last
I
was
completely
shattered after a night's collating
A n y t h i n g y o u w i s h to include i n
and
F e l i x ought to be i n the F e l i x office
Pl e a s e
b y 12.30 M o n d a y . T h i s applies to
interested i n the newspaper.
the U n i o n O f f i c e as w e l l. I get v e r y upset i f things arrive
afterwards
come
along
I
Studies. I refer y o u to the excellent article
A Very Interesting Read.
the a f o r e s a i d
P"*^
gives
alternative
a
rarely
view
of
glimpsed employer's
attitudes to graduates. that getting
Remember
a j o b benefits
both
parties. T h e e m p l o y e r requires y o u
emergency.
just as m u c h as y o u require the
of you're
e m p l o y e r . T h i s is not a n excuse to be arrogant - a n arrogant
graduate
If a n y b o d y has any comments to
is o n e o f the foulest creatures o n
m a k e o n the 'paper, d o c o m e a n d
g o d ' s clean planet - but be aware o f
because b y then I have arranged the
tell m e a n y t i m e . I c a n ' t guarantee
y o u r worth to yourself.
page plan and often there is no r o o m
I'll
take
suggestions
o n , but i f
t h e y ' r e constructive c r i t i c i s m they
D o e s a n y o n e out there have any
will
registered.
ideas about what y o u w o u l d call a
frustrated
Examples
constructive
student newspaper i n , say, a large
a n d y o u angry.
In a
o f what
C o n s o r t . . . N o , Consort. C . O . N . S . O.
R.
T
Y e s , he was
German.... think
Phillip
is G r e e k ,
I
N o , a science college
London
SW7
SW7
2BB
2BB
Thankyou...
Goodbye.' I c a n ' t d o m u c h about the other parts o f the address
(though I ' m
w o r k i n g o n it) but I can with F e l i x . T h e r e a r e g o o d reasons w h y F e l i x
what F e l i x is might get confused. I w o u l d like y o u r reaction to the possibility
similar v e i n , F r i d a y s and M o n d a y s
c r i t i c i s m is not are ' i t ' s a load o f
are the best time to c o m e and talk
bollocks', 'you're all cunts', ' i t ' s
K e n s i n g t o n ? A name that i s n ' t a
Credits
science
Prince Consort
R o a d . . . . Prince. A s in Phillip
tradition, and those few w h o k n o w
magazine less current, makes m e
be
peculiar address
should stay as F e l i x - there is a
Felix Name Change
to put the articles in. T h i s makes the
certainly
itorial
college
in
South
along
with
sensible
alternatives o f a different
name.
to m e about printing o r print unit
got too m a n y w o r d s ' ,
j o k e but is a functional description
business. L i k e w i s e I w i l l be i n a
Phil,
it' etcetera.
o f the 'paper would be the a i m . T h i s
better m o o d to help y o u p h o t o c o p y
U n m e n t i o n a b l e s , Ian, Sum i t , M a t t ,
Careers Fair
newspaper was called F e l i x in about
o n those days. A n y o n e d e m a n d i n g
T h e Careers F a i r w i l l be happening
1949 as a p u n o n the c o l l e g e ' s arts
Butcher, U r m i , Jeremy, K h u r r u m ,
o n the 15th and 16th o f O c t o b e r -
magazine
the author o f the rather
next T u e s d a y a n d W e d n e s d a y .
year old joke. It is also very difficult
story, James, M e g a n , P o d d y , Stef and T o b y . T h e H a n d b o o k collators
help
in non- Felix
business o n
Tuesdays, Wednesdays
and above
T d o n ' t like
It
'Phoenix'.
It is a
fifty
Jonty,
' David,
Rose,
all T h u r s d a y s w i l l take a v e r y l o w
w i l l be held o n the Q u e e n ' s L a w n ,
to use o n the telephone - apart f r o m
priority. Y o u w i l l have to wait until
by the Q u e e n ' s T o w e r (which is the
it not sounding
I have a spare m o m e n t .
large phallic object with a green tit
advertisers d o n ' t take us seriously
C C U s , Clubs and Societies.
Andy
o n top i n front o f the Sherfield
- the conversation usually runs thus:
Thomas,
Could
the S M H M S U ,
RSMU,
C&GU,
B u i l d i n g ) . T h e m i n o r irritation is
professional,
' F e l i x Office
so
Yes Felix.... F .
R C S U a n d a l l the C l u b s
that w a y o v e r h a l f the companies
E . L . I X . A s the c a t . . . . T h e
and Societies o f the college put stuff
are a l w a y s accountants w h o d o n ' t
cat....the
care what course y o u d i d as l o n g as
Quad
y o u got a first a n d the rest are
Quad
in the W h a t ' s O n p i g e o n h o l e i n the Felix
Office
f o r the deadline
indicated above. T h i s is the college newspaper - it w o u l d be nice i f I could
publicise
college
events.
Y e s . Beit
Beit,
E.
U. A. D
found in colleges
like
was G e r m a n
with
Mushroom
L0OKEP,
I.
T.
Quadrangle. Q .
companies w h o only want people Philately
B.
Quad
with a 2(i) i n something obscure
ONCE UPONAf IME, FELIX , LIKE F .
It means
a square
N o , I think he Y e s it is a
. , . S 0 HE W E N T TO MARCEL'S Bl-SEX SALON FOR A N IMA6E CHANGE. BUT 5 HOURS OF PERMINfr, PYIN&-,
AND FLUEEiNCf LATCE...
THE CAT
THIS TIME
cartoon....
V
-
Penguin,
the
Andy,
Plane
B e c c y , the strange
Jonathan, G a r e t h , S i d ,
S m i t h , C o l i n Bathe, Paul
Reynish,
Paul
Mylan,
Jennifer, Z o e , F l e m i n g and all those I've
forgotten.
F e l i x is p r o d u c e d f o r and b e h a l f o f the Imperial College U n i o n Publications Board a n d is p r i n t e d b y the I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e U n i o n Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London S W 7 2 B B . ( T e l : 071-225 8672). Editor: A d a m Harrington, Business Manager: Jeremy Burnell. Copyright Felix 1991. I S S N 1040-0711.
... FOR T H E M A P 6ENETICS EXPERT, OR. V E A L ! A F T E R P R I N K I N & A N EXPERIMENT - A L MUTANT RETROV/RUS...
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Letters
Felix 912
LETTERS The deadline for letters is 12.30pm, the Monday before publication.
11 October 1991
Forgery Clarification
Brown Nose Dear I
Adam, am
writing
everyone
Please put letters in the Editor's pigeonhole in the Felix Office.
to
involved
congratulate i n the
events
organised last week. T h e y were all smoothly run and v e r y
enjoyable.
F r i d a y ' s event however was slightly marred
for
me
by
a
very
unfortunate incident. A
member
crew
A l l letters should be addressed to the Editor, i.e. 'Dear Editor' or 'Dear A d a m ' not to any 3rd party.
intelligence
Dear
writing
to clarify
a
few
I wrote ' F o r g e r y ' across t h e m , so
points made in y o u r news article
they c o u l d not be used again. N o t ,
about forged £10 notes.
as y o u r article i m p l i e d , that the stall
T h e C a r n i v a l o r g a n i s e d o n the M o n d a y o f F r e s h e r s ' W e e k was not the w o r k o f the R o y a l C o l l e g e o f
received these notes with
forgery
written across t h e m . O n finding the notes, I told A n d y
S c i e n c e U n i o n , but the w o r k
of
F l a n a g a n , the U n i o n B a r M a n a g e r ,
IC
and also the organiser o f the
College
Union
and
the burger stall at this event. T h e notes that w e r e found o n the were
noticed
returned a forgery
after
I
had
to a customer
t r y i n g to buy s o m e food. I c h e c k e d the till and found two others, and
IC
Rugby Cocktails. I
hope
this
stall.
Burger
marked
and
lack
'borrowed'
of two
This
resulted
in
a
slight
altercation. A s the organiser o f the B u r g e r s , I w o u l d l i k e to apologise to M i n e s and can assure y o u it w i l l not happen again. T h e missing knife has
Imperial
stall
a
knives f r o m the M i n e ' s C o c k t a i l
Adam,
I am
Ents. A l l R C S U n i o n organised was
A l l letters should be signed by the author but names can be withheld by request.
o f the R C S
showed
been
recovered
returned, contact me One
of
marvellous
the
and w i l l
guests
idea,
be
somehow. had
i f he stole
a two
bags o f b u r g e r rolls he c o u l d get rectifies
the
twenty-four
burgers free!
I
hope
involvement o f the R C S U n i o n and
you're
the happenings o n M o n d a y
yourself and w o u l d appreciate a £24
Yours sincerely, Gareth Smith, RCSU Secretary 1988-90
night.
feeling
very
proud
of
donation to R a g to c o v e r the cost.
Honorary
O n c e again, sorry to M i n e s .
David Ensell,
RCS Ents
Chair.
Sports Centre Investment Dear
Adam,
Proposals
be recouped by encouraging
more
Centre and to develop the Southside
use by both college and non-college
facilities represent an investment by
personnel.
the C o l l e g e o f the order o f £0.75m.
vacation and at weekends i n term time,
Since,
the Sports
during
Centre
the
is
very
m u c h under-used this w o u l d
seem
to be a sensible idea f r o m VACANCY
which
e v e r y o n e shoul d benefit.
WARDENSHIP
W h a t we have to ensure is that
CLAYPONDS
preferential
T h e C o l l e g e i n v i t e s a p p l i c a t i o n s f o r the n e w p o s i t i o n o f w a r d e n at C l a y p o n d s w h i c h is a v a i l a b l e f r o m 1st D e c e m b e r 1991. C l a y p o n d s is a n e x c i t i n g n e w C o l l e g e residential d e v e l o p m e n t in E a l i n g , m a i n l y for 2 n d and 3 r d year undergrads a n d postgrads. Wardens receive rent-free a c c o m m o d a t i o n i n return for pastoral duties w i t h i n t h e i r r e s i d e n c e . T h e post is o p e n to a l l n o n - u n d e r g r a d m e m b e r s o f the college.
use
is
retained
by
college personnel and also that the changes,
whilst attracting outside
users,
do
not
unacceptable college
represent
an
compromise
for At STA TTsvel, we're all seasoned travellers so we should know a thing or two
users.
T h e s e proposals o f change have to be
approved
by
the Athletics
C o m m i t t e e w h i c h is responsible to the G o v e r n i n g
Body
for
If y o u w o u l d like further info and an a p p l i c a t i o n f o r m contact L o u i s e A i l w a r d , ext 8 6 9 0 / 3 2 7 6 , R o o m 5 1 6 , S h e r f i e l d . applications
is
31
headed. And because we know the travel business backwards,
we can offer you the best deals on fares - even the flexibility you go, without having to pay over the top for the privilege.
to change your mind as We operate from 120
offices worldwide. So call in soon.
college
Straw,
the F a c i l i t i e s M a n a g e r
to
d r a w i n g s in the Sports C e n t r e so that users can see what is planned and can i n f o r m their representative
for
about where you're
sports p r o v i s i o n . I have asked V a l p r o v i d e a display o f the architects
C l o s i n g date O c t o b e r 1991
YOURE BOUND,
T h e p l a n is that this outlay should to change the Sports
Imperial College Sherfield Building Prince Consort Rd, London SW7 2AZ
o n the Athletics C o m m i t t e e o f their opinions.
ULU
Yours sincerely, Ken Stevens.
— 18—
TRAVEL
11 October 1991
Felix 912
Boycott Revolting Fiction Dear
to
Editor,
Regarding
article
in
Freshers'
F e l i x entitled ' I m p e r i a l R a c i s m ' : I a m i n c l i n e d to agree with the Rector
Sir
Eric
Ash
et
al
that
' A c a d e m i c s for F r e e S p e e c h ' is not
Letters
Sports Centre Squashed Dear
Editor,
I read with interest the letter by John
McMahon
Moore
in
last
w e e k ' s F e l i x 910 on the subject o f
ban
Leuchter
from
entering
the sports centre. A s captain o f the
Britain. T r u e , free speech is a basic
Imperial
democratic right but nobody should
speak for the rest o f the committee
College
squash
c l ub
be g i v e n a p l a t f o r m to stir up racial
and the c l u b
in endorsing
hatred.
point o f
McMahon
Many
members
of
the
Jewish
Mr
I
every
Moore's
letter. I enclose a letter sent to every
a g r o u p actually based at Imperial
Society lost grandparents and other
member
but
family
gas
Sports C o m m i t t e e by the
and
C l u b committee o n 13 September
rather
a
front
for
nasty,
members
c o w a r d l y racists using o u r c o l l e g e
chambers
because o f its prestigious reputation
Majdanek.
to add credence to their incredulous 'scientific'
report.
It
is
people
I shall not waste space and time
being
of
to
prevent
happen again.
the
Eichmann
and the records o f trial
(Eichmann
If
for
re-written
happened
film-footage
once
there
all
history
be
are
from
what
lest
allowed
any
has to
Imperial
f i c t i o n,
out)—never denied the existence o f
y o u , or at least call o n all students
the F i n a l Solution) and
to boycott y o u r lectures.
T h a n k G o d the N U S and others were able to force the H o m e O f f i c e
Yours, Michael Factor, Chairman Jewish
can
reveal
yourselves
other pieces o f irrefutable evidence.
so we
please
h i m s e l f — m a y his name be blotted numerous
re-educate
Acting Society.
How to cope with your supervisor... Seminar given by Eric Ash plus
others
for PG
s who want to succeed! Mech
Fri 5.30pm FREE
Squash
decent
academics out there publishing such revolting
o f the South K e n s i n g t o n
1991 v o i c i n g o u r c o n c e r n s :
m i l l i o n m e n , w o m e n and c h i l d r e n can't just disappear, not to mention
the
Auschwitz
important
proving the holocaust happened, six
the
in
interested in clean, functional facilities, than saunas and solariums, even though these may attract more private members. We do not believe that our students would ever use a cafe/bar when popular subsidised facilities are available across the gardens.
As concerned students of Imperial College we should like to bring to your attention several points arising from the recent, and the proposed changes to the Sports Centre. Although we are all members of the Squash Club Committee, and have a vested interest in the squash courts, we believe our concerns to be relevant to all student users of the Sports Centre. We would welcome your consideration and comments on the following: 1. Are all die recent and the planned changes in the best interest of Imperial College students and staff, for whom, after all, the Sports Centre was originally intended? It seems increasingly that non-college members are being welcomed and although their season ticket/membership costs are somewhat greater, they do not appear to reflect the sort of expense that would be involved for these people to join a private health club which would be their alternative. We have no objections to private members (except that they crowd facilities intended for students) but believe their payments should be employed to subsidise student use; in this way we feel that the recent 50% increase for a student season ticket (now for only nine months, as opposed to twelve!) could surely have been avoided. It also seems that private members pay little, particularly compared to staff, for example anyone off the street (or from a local mansion) pays only lOp more for a game of squash than someone who works at Imperial College. We are very concerned that the running of the sports centre is being moved towards a private venture, rather than a college facility.
2. Although luxurious,
—19—
our sports centre is not students are more
3. Charging for courts that are specifically set aside for Squash Club members' use seems like a move aimed directly at eliminating any need or desire for the student to join the Squash Club. We strongly argue against the introduction of charges (£1 for half an hour has been proposed). For a club member to play just once a week will now cost approx. £40 over the year (compared to only £5 Squash Club membership last year). We also fear that the membership of the largest ACC club will diminish and the club performance, which has been excellent in both University League and UAU events (last year the ladies won the London League and won through to the quarter finals of the UAU), will suffer. The college's sporting reputation will also suffer as a consequence. 4. Last year's squash club captain specifically requested to be included in SKSC meetings but was never informed as to when they took place. Now, more than ever, more student voice on this committee seems an increasingly important necessity. Can this be guaranteed in the future? We would greatly appreciate a response on these matter. Thank you for your consideration. Yours, Squash Club Committee. W e have had two replies so far, one in support o f o u r case and one f r o m P. E . M e e c l a i m i n g 'it had nothing to do with h i m ' even though he sits on
the
South
Ken
Sports
Committee! We
feel that it is time for
the
people o f I C to make a stand to save o u r sports centre f r o m what looks like impending privatisation. T h e r e is e n o u g h incentive to stop sport at I C with heavy w o r k l o a d s
without
a d d i n g a financial b u r d e n to it as well.
Yours faithfully, C Robinson (for Squash Committee).
Felix 912
News
11 October 1991
Splot S o c S h o c k
YOUNG PERSON'S RAILCARD Special Offer HALF PRICE £8.00 (original price
£16)
N o w available f r om the U n i o n Office i n Beit Q u a d SPECIAL OFFER CLOSES 9th N o v e m b e r so be quick
The handgun pictured above is the Splatmaster Rapide, classed together with the Kalashnkov. A C r o w n C o u r t in W a l e s classed a paintball
gun,
the
The
decision
to
class
the
Splatmaster
Splatmaster Rapide as a firearm was
guidelines
are
drawn
up by
the
H o m e Office. These may include
R a p i d e , as a prohibited w e a p o n o n
due to its s m a l l size and its use o f
registration for individuals and the
the 2 n d O c t o b e r . T h e g u n is now
c a r b o n dioxide as a propellant. T h e
licensing
ranked in the same weapons class
majority o f paintball guns i n Great
m o v e s to outlaw the sport w o u l d be
as K a l a s h n i k o v s , mortars and anti-
B r i t a i n are not semi-automatic and
fought by the E u r o p e a n Paintball
tank weapons.
considerably larger i n size.
Sports F e d e r a t i o n .
Judge H u g h W i l l i a m s r u l e d that this
particular
weapon,
a
semi-
Paintball enjoyed
by
is
a
many
sport
'It
currently
people
in this
is
o f paintball
business
sites.
as
Any
usual
for
SplotSoc at the m o m e n t , ' said N i g e l
The
'Ethical
magazine
automatic paint g u n , was to be put
c o u n t r y , Imperial C o l l e g e has its
Strevens, a m e m b e r o f the SplotSoc
Aid',
under S e c t i o n five o f the F i r e a r m s
own
SplotSoc.
C o m m i t t e e , ' o u r first trip is all set
organisation,
A c t 1968. T h i s prevents the use o f
P o l i c e have not yet enforced this
for 27th O c t o b e r and so far we have
some
law and it is l i k e l y that the r u l i n g
r e c e i v e d a positive response
magazine
will
this y e a r ' s i n t a k e . '
the
gun
even
with
a
firearms
certificate.
paintball
be
society,
suspended
while
official
from
Scientist',
published an
by
a
new
'Animal
anti-vivisection is be i ng
students
in
posted
to
college.
The
c l a i m s that they
have
succeeded i n persuading ' A ' L e v e l examination
boards
to
offer
an
alternative to ani m al dissection as part o f a standard course and are
Imperial College Union D r Jaafar D h i a h Jaafar, a f o r m e r
the
research
C e n t r e , but D r D a v i d W e b s d a l e o f
assisstant
at
Imperial
Baghdad
Atomic
Energy
a
the P h y s i c s Department expressed
major force b e h i n d Iraq's nuclear
doubt that D r Jaafar's training was
weapons
suitable
College
is suspected
o f bei ng
programme.
D r Jaafar is the V i c e President o f
Applications are invited for the position of SUBWARDEN in FISHER H A L L We are looking for a friendly, resourceful and responsible individual to assist the Warden in the day to day running of the hall, in return for rent-free accommodation suitable for a single person. Application forms are available from the accommodation office and should be returned to Dr R J Murphy, Dept of Biology by Monday 21 October 1991
for
the development
h o p i n g to persuade U n i v e r s i t i e s to f o l l o w suit. Animal
Career's Fair Marquee on
ensure
1 5th
atomic weapons.
and
Queen's
a
new
breed
A n i m a l A i d c a n be contacted at
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7 C a s t l e Street, T o n b r i d g e , K e n t .
October
1BH
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students, a cut wash and by our top
British R a i l w a y s is offering a new
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the
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W o m e n
AUTUMN 1991
IMPERIAL COLLEGE
BOOKSTORE OK, so it's the beginning of the new academic year again! Although you may not want to part with your cash straight away, may we suggest you visit the Imperial College Union Bookstore to see how we can help you.
FIND IT'S
US EASY! ICU BEIT
Psntel Not only do we try to stock all your essential course books, as recommended by your lecturers, but any titles not stocked, be it pure science or science fiction, can be ordered simply and efficiently by our book ordering service. We also offer a huge range of stationery at prices to beat any well known national chain, as well as greetings cards, confectionery, toiletries and some household goods. So, whether it's a book, a biro or a bar of chocolate you want, we 're sure there's something at ICU Bookstore for you.
AUTUMN 1991
QUAD
UNION BAR &
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o
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4* PARKER Don't forget, we are also the only retail outlet stocking a fantastic range of merchandise emblazoned with the ICU logo. Visit early in the week to be sure of one of our great sweatshirts at only £15, or an ICU mug at £1.60. Bookmarks, files, t-shirts and cufflinks are among other popular items. Remember, we 're at your service, so if there's anything you need ask one of our friendly staff and we '11 do our best to help. We're currently under new management, so please bear with us as we work towards the future with you, the customer, as priority. See you Monday to Friday, between 9am and 6pm!
Imperial College Union ENTERTAINMENTS present
DISCOS E V E R Y WEDNESDAY till l a m UNION LOUNGE
STOP PRESS: CHECK OUT OUR NEW RANGE
OF BAGS & CASES
IMPERIAL COLLEGE
October Friday 4th Wednesday 9th
it All October Murphys Irish Stout only £1.30 pint Freshers' Ball L o w e n b r a u tonight's p r o m o t i o n at £1 pint! Disco W e s t o n ' s ' O l d R o s i e ' s c r u m p y tonight o n l y £1 pint!
* Guest real ales Felinfoel 'Double Dragon' F r i d a y 11th Monday-Sunday 14th-20th
The Cafe is open Monday to Friday 10.00am-3.30pm and 5.30pm-9.00pm offering a wide selection of freshly prepared food, a different home cooked choice each day, sandwiches, baps, burgers, pizzas, cakes and pastries as well as tea, coffee and soft drinks.
UNION & LOUNGE BARS The bars are open every day 12-2pm and 5.30-1 lpm and on Sunday from 12-2pm and 7-10.30pm, but look out for our many extensions this term. For instance every Friday we have an extension until lam. In the Lounge Bar we feature a wide selection of bottled beers, wines (check out our new wine list). Coffee and tea are always available and you can join in the fun at our many bar promotions this term or relax in the friendly atmsophere! The Union Bar features a good range of real ales and special guest ales each w e e k . Look out for Wadworths 6x, Thwaites, Boddingtons, Robinsons and many more! Traditional 'Pub Grub' is available from the bar including pies, pasties, ploughman's lunches. Visit our Lounge Bar or traditional Bar and make the most of our special offers and promotions this term.
F r i d a y 18th M o n d a y 21st-27th F r i d a y 25th
O p e n till 2 a m O p e n till
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+ Robinsons in the Union Bar!
Disco a n d Bands Bottled Beer W e e k — a different bottled beer o n special each night: M o n — S o l , Tues—H eineken , W e d — K a l i k , T h u r s — B e c k s , F r i — M e r r y d o w n Vintage Cider, Sat—Lowenbrau Export, Sun—Stella Artois Disco Featured Guest Ales Everards Tiger & Ripleys Disco a n d Bands
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November F r i d a y 1st Friday 8th F r i d a y 15th M o n d a y 18th T u e s d a y 19th Friday 22nd F r i d a y 29th
Open Open Open Open
Disco a n d Bands Bands Rag Carnival Dirty Disco B a r Q u i z & Disco T e t l e y Bitter 9 0 p a pint all night R a g Party a n d Student Revue Disco a n d Bands
till till till till
lam lam 2am lam
O p e n till 2 a m O p e n till l a m
December 2nd
to 8th
Saturday 7th
F r i d a y 13th
EATING
Real Ale Promotion A different real ale cheaper each night H a p p y C h r i s t m a s f r o m the B a r Raffle d r a w — g e t a ticket each time y o u b u y o n e o f o u r special offers this t e r m . P r i z e s include a g a l l o n o f B e l l s S c o t c h , cases o f beer, glasses, t-shirts, bottles o f wine xxx pints only tonight, T e t l e y only 9 0 p tonight E n d o f term Christmas spectacular
&
O p e n till
SfBRS
12pm
O p e n till 2 a m
DRINKING
20p
vou d n e
• •
1 I S$ S$
Welfare At
some
College
stage
and not know
The answer
at the Welfare
could
Office
within
the Union
Quad.
As the Union's
I am available
Imperial
to give
on a number on housing
immigration
matters,
legal
matters,
loans,
NHS
disability
charges,
be is
Welfare
that can. The Welfare
Beit
can,
impartial
in some
student's
cases,
behalf
to the above,
racks
situated
benefits,
information.
Most
from
organisations
insurance,
the Poll
student Tax,
to consult
introductory
number
of issues:
goes
consumer
to
turn,
aid and immigration
the
that if I
outside
basic,
Welfare cannot
for personal
telephone
will
also
find
there
range
are
therein
will
Although
housing,
among
information
tax,
of the
in by
confidence. is
necessary,
prior
if you have
special
needs
these should
be discussed
with
me, as I
where
necessary.
can be flexible
legal
Imperial
You
Advisory
compiled
by
follows:
College Service
Union is usually
Welfare open as
such as
am
pm
11.00-1.00 10.30-1.00
2.00-6.30
Wednesday Thursday
closed 10.30-1.30
Friday
closed all day
Monday Tues-Fri
11.00-6.30
2.00-5.00 2.00-5.00 2.00-5.00
enquiries
...what the organised student needs! D u r a b l e f i l i n g products are n o w available f r o m the C o l l e g e prices.
10.30-5.30
Imperial College Union Bookstore stockists of
DURACLIP File and present your papers the easy way!
LINEX
N o hole p u n c h i n g required. S i m p l y pull the c l i p , insert the papers, and return the c l i p to secure.
•
be treated
can be seen
Monday Tuesday
callers
Welfare
arrangement
them.
on issues
DURAPLUS Present your project with style!
alfac
Insert a title sheet within the transparent pocket o n the front c o v e r , and neatly secure p u n c h e d papers inside. A n extra back pocket holds
supporting
literature.
•
DURABIND
DECASry
Permanently bind your papers securely and professionally! N o machines required. Just staple at the indicated points a n d fold the c o v e r s over to hide the staples.
Pop along to the Bookstore exciting
and innovative
filing
and
available
discussed
no appointment
students
provides
are
is independent
of
ona
magazine
the Union's
Service
reception
and
for these and many other ideas from
Durable.
THE LETTERING SYSTEM FOR PERFECT PRESENTATION
P r i n t e d b y I C U Print U n i t . T e l : 0 7 1 - 2 2 5
and
also
request.
and all matters
is
rights
Office
copies
college
information health,
housing
to 'Which?'
and back
Remember,
of the literature
Adviser
D U R A B L E
•
on
if
law, fees and awards,
the Welfare
(no appointment necessary)
B o o k s t o r e at competitive
a wide
list
where
on a
in the
rights, rights,
current
Advisory
In addition leaflet
students,
tax. The Welfare
subscribes
and
creditors,
area containing
tax,
overseas poll
also
service
negotiate
with
I
appropriate.
shown
and
Adviser
a debt counselling
You can
If you are not sure idea
someone
to refer
of issues.
finance...the
as it is likely
query
you to
be able
offers
Adviser,
the times
particular
may waiting in
Service
assist you with your
to situated
Office
consumer
rights,
it is a good
where
confidential
get advice
or
which
during
below
Office
at
well
General
advice
on.
time
you may need advice
information turn.
of your
Advisory
8672