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G Hs quickly provided Association. B o a r d Chair is l o o k i n g t o edit t h e college's b y s e c u r i t y a n d t h e first a i d e r s o n duty. M r J o h n Foster, H e a d o f C a t e r i n g I: Dr Peter n C DC d G H s i m m e d i a t e l y called a n d C o n f e r e n c e S e r v i c e s at t h e c o l l e g e , T h e e x a l t e d post o f President is s h a p - s t u d e n t p a p e r next y e a r a n d h a s f o u n d M:;OM y s e c o n d e r s . T h e t o t h e s c e n e f r o m t h e H e a l t h C e n t r e , a s d e s c r i b e d M r D a v i s a s q :;< l r e s p e c t e d all o f t h e r e q u i r e d i n g u p t o b e a h a r d f o u g h t battle ; Felix : ne sabbatical position o f DP (Educamusic editor a n d P u b Board Treasurer JK Le p a r a m e d i c s . T h e first a i d e r s initiated a n d :;< l liked" . H e e x p l a i n e d that, "everyo n e G H s v e r y v e r y s h o c k e d " , b u t "everyt i o n & W e l f a r e ) is v o i d o f c a n d i d a t e s at Dennis Patrickson h a s already m a d e his attempts to resuscitate M r Davis, but :=M h I C U p r e s e n t , r a i s i n g c o n c e r n s :=MY= n t h e JK b o d y h a s b e e n v e r y s u p p o r t i v e " . Dr fully s e c o n d e d b i d , a l o n g e u n s u c c e s s f u l . M r Davis G Hs t h e n L I C : DC d s i n g l e d o u t t h e first-aiders for ;: - U n i o n . n taken to C h e l s e a a n d Westminster Hosa c c o m m o d a t i o n officer Natasha f l jk :=< particular p r a i s e , s t a t i n g that "[they] d i d Hustings l take place o n t h e i i , pital, JK L e h e G H s p r o n o u n c e d d e a d t o n a n d W i l s o n H a l l ' s Re-app B e n I: P o l o u n o v s k y G g o a r e still in t h e p r o c e s s a n d 17 F e b r u a r y at S o u t h K e n , C h a r i n g s h o r t l y a f t e r arrival. Dr n C DC d c o m - a t r e m e n d o u s j o b . . . it G H s particularly M:;OM y s e c o n d e r s . C r o s s a n d St. M a r y ' s r e s p e c t i v e l y . mG o m e n t e d "it is a t r a g i c story", e x p l a i n i n g t r a u m a t i c f o r t h e m . " of g a i n i n g their :=< l t a k e p l a c e this RCSU's V P ( C l u b s & E n t e r t a i n m e n t s ) , B o b d a y s o f v o t i n g b e g i n o n 22 Februar y a n d that It is v e r y rare f o r r e s u s c i t a t i o n t o b e M r Dav is' f u n e r a l :=< hI<<I: afternoon (Monday). H e leaves behind Walker, h a s s t o o d f o r DP(F&S) b u t at t h e l be a n n o u n c ed the s u c c e s s f u l in s u c h s i t u a t i o n s . : =M=O g h a s y e t t o f i n d a n y see- ti hn eg eresult his p a r t n e r a n d o n e s o n . time of C v e n i n g in t h e U n i o n Foyer. M r Davis j o i n e d t h e C a t e r i n g Division R o b e r t s , Felix Assistant Editor a n d P u b .

Medical help

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oratory o n 28 M a r c h last year,

cess

O x f o r d d e s p i t e g o o d p e r f o r m a n c e s by

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G H s f o r m e d in Jan-

uary 1998 to p r o v i d e a p l a t f o r m for t h e

o f c o u r s e Imperial! Q u i z I C is b a c k this year;

hopefully

b i g g e r a n d better t h a n b e f o r e . T h e plan is

to invite m o r e c o l l e g e s this year. Th e event :;< l as t h e s e l e c t i o n a n d p r e p a r a - stu l b e h o s t e d early o n in t h e S u m m e r tion o f t e a m s to represent Imperial C o l l e g e t e r m a n d t h e s o c i e t y is o n t h e l o o k o u t for :=<<=O g t o m o d e r a t e a n d s c o r e t h e for v a r i o u s o t h e r inter-collegiate t o u r n a - p e o p l e :=M h poten m e n t s , particularly University C h a l l e n g e various r o u n d s , t o g et in t o u c h o n n a t i o n a l t e l e v i s i o n - Imperial JK L e t h e tial s p o n s o r s a n d n u m e r o u s o t h e r j o b s . If d e s e r v i n g victors in 1996. If y o u ' r e i t c h i n g you're interested in h e l p i n g o u t in v wxyv y h o s t i n g o f q u i z t o u r n a m e n t s h e r e at Imperial as

to f a c e a b a r r a g e o f q u e s t i o n s f r o m Paxo,

p o s s i b l e or f a n c y t a k i n g part at part o f the

here's y o u r c h a n c e !

Imperial C o l l e g e t e a m , just e m a i l t h e soci-

UVV Ws o f f o r m a t i o n , t h e s o c i - ety at q u i z @ i c . a c . u k o r s i m p l y turn u p for s ety o r g a n i s e d Q u i z I C , Imperial's v e r y rG n t h e m e e t i n g at 1 P M o n T h u r s d a y ( f e b e n ation al i n t e r c o l l e g i a t e q u i z t o u r n a m e n t . :Y= Q h G H s held in t h e Blackett Lab- 11th) in t h e U n i o n D i n i n g Hall. d QuizIC, ::: < QDQ ? ;<< x E-mail: felix@ic.ac.uk Felix, Beit Q u a d , Prince Consort Road, L o n d o n SW7 2BB Internal tel: z{|} 2 Internal fax: 48072 txternal tel & fax: 0171 z~ 4 8072 URL: < :=O s Gardens, L o n d o n I CI N 7RJ lelix is a registeredT? O;: Printed at M C P Litho Limited, Units B2 & B3, Hatton Square, 16 - 16a D d TPDP:=M; C : ISSN 1040 - 0711 Felix is p r o d u c e d for a n d o n b e h a l f o f Imperial C o l l e g e U n i o n Publication Board. Copyright felix 1998. P h o t o g r a p h i c copyrights r e m a i n h photographers. M

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u n i v e r s i t y o u t o f all t h e L o n d o n

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l c o n t i n u e t o b e u p d a t e d o n t h e R e d M o l e site t h r o u g h o u t t h e y e a r - a n y o n e g t o r e g -

leges. T h e ratings

their

vote

can

¡¢ g £ t

you

¤¥ , d y o u h a v e c h o s e n t o

representation, than

usual

standing for t h e N U S National Execu-

¬ o

l e c t u r e s i n IC's M a t h s

ment).

Dr M e s t e l

played

the

opposite

sex',

¦ ¦ . I m p e r i a l ' s t c a t e g o r i e s § ¨ e A c c o m m o d a tion a n d Attractiveness of the O p p o s i t e S e x , h Q u a l i t y o f T e a c h i n g , C o m ity o f s t u d e n t

g r d d

Depart-

36 g a m e s

and

then

the Chess

dents replied 'no'. The survey

'nightlife', ' s p o r t i n g facilities' a n d 'qual-

ª« h J a n u a r y

simultaneously, losing only o n e g a m e

Conference,

place

On Monday

Triumphs

c o m e t o t h i s u n i v e r s i t y ? " , 3 0 % o f IC s t u -

tiveness

M a r c h , s e e m s likely to s e e a n i n c r e a s e

Grandmaster

C l u b h e l d it's a n n u a l C h a l l e n g e M a t c h

This year's N a t i o n a l U n i o n o f S t u d e n t s

r c a n d i d a t e s t h a n e v e r ,

Lancaster

against Grandmaster Jonathan M c s t e l

a s k e d s t u d e n t s t o rate their university

candidates

31st r e s p e c t i v e l y . L e i c e s t e r ,

ing trends.

o n v a r i o u s c a t e g o r i e s , i n c l u d i n g 'attrac-

rivals

p r o c e s s e d , a n d reveal s o m e interest-

kno

in L i b e r a l D e m o c r a t

Imperial

a n d E d i n b u r g h are rated t h e best uni-

s i t e . V o t e s f r o m t h e first t e r m o f

this a c a d e m i c year have n o

When asked

Brookes. Traditional

O x f o r d a n d C a m b r i d g e c a m e 19th a n d

email I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e is n o t t h e p l a c e t o b e ,

takes

just

a c c o r d i n g to University ratings c o m -

in t h e c o u n t r y ,

behind D u n d e e a n d ahead of Oxford

Found

mail "We c a n h e l p y o u N i m a " .

Democrats

23rd

Mole

n l m a . p o u r s h a s b @ l c . a c . u k t i t l i n g y o u r e-

your eyes o p e n as they

currently

ister

h e l p e r s ( u s h e r s , r u n n e r s e t c ) . If y o u think

being

its s t r o n g p o i n t s . O v e r a l l I m p e r i a l

starts

•

p u t i n g Facilities a n d Nightlife

g n o n e . E v e n m o r e i m p r e s s i v e t h a n t h e s c o r e s t h e fact that Dr M e s t e l s o n his feet c o n t i n u o u s l y for 4 h o u r s ! T h e l u c k y r s E n r i q u e Wing, a postgraduate student o

g a t d , n y

plays for t h e C h e s s Club's 2 n d t e a m .

C o n g r a t u l a t i o n s t o all t h e o t h e r b r a v e people

o took

part.

tive. Labour students a r e f i e l d i n g possibly

d u e to t h e apparent failure by t h e NUS

to defeat

the Labour

govern-

C U T

ment o n issues such as student hard-

BY O U R T O P STYLISTS

ship a n d tuition fees. The Liberal D e m o c r a t Y o u t h a n d Students c a m p a i g n m a n a g e r ,

& 2 0 & 1 7

P a y n e , c o m m e n t e d that "this y e a r t h e Liberal

Democrats

L A D I E S

Geoff

have

the

energy and resources to mount

Normal

HAIR SALON

Price

ACCESS VISA M A S T E R C A R D

N ®¯°

CASH

CHEQUES

s e r i o u s c h a l l e n g e to L a b o u r in N U S . " The effect o f Liberal D e m o c r a t leader Paddy

'Still

r e s i g n a t i o n , after

the

best

this Spring's local a n d Euro e l e c t i o n s ,

student

²²³ ± ´µ¶

remains to be s e e n .

15a Harrington Road South Kensington

Charities

Converge

London S W 7 3ES

Five A I D S o r g a n i s a t i o n s p l a n t o a m a l gamate

(1 Minute

o n 1 April this year in t h e

most c o m p l e x merger ever

South

negoti-

·¸¹º

Kensington

from Tube)

a t e d in t h e v o l u n t a r y s e c t o r . T h e f i v e o r g a n i s a t i o n s i n v o l v e d a r e t h e Terrence

H i g g i n s Trust, B r i d g e s i d e

L e e d s , T h e HIV

k i n C o v e n t r y ,

Telephone

0171

823

8968

s p

Ori

T h e s u m m e r ball m a y o n l y b e a p a l e imita-

ball

last

year,

committee

tion o f t h e p s e u d o - t h e m e park envis i o n e d b y its o r g a n i s e r s .

In fact, r e c e n t

U n i o n analysis o f t h e p r o p o s e d b u d g e t has b r o u g h t its v e r y feasibility i n t o question a n d d e s p i t e t h e o r g a n i s i n g c o m m i t tee's b o u n d l e s s o p t i m i s m ICU

¾¿Ã l o n l y b e

one

member

»¼½ , in mid-February, 4 stud e n t s b e g a n ¾¿À h n o m o n e y a n d n o backi n g a n d p r o d u c e d a ball ¾¿À h a n a t t e n d a n c e in e x c e s s o f 000, a n d a 300 s t r o n g ¾Á¿À¿Â g list. In contrast, this year's described

In a s t a r t l i n g m o v e , the

Association

i n g staff,

T h e s i t u a t i o n is

U n i v e r s i t y T e a c h e r s t h r e a t e n e d a "sustained c a m p a i g n o f industrial action" that

could

potentially

cripple

the

a d m i s s i o n s p r o c e s s for t h e a c a d e m i c y e a r 99-00.

¾ÍÌÒ e if t h e m a s s i v e i n c r e a s e s p l a n n e d in f u r t h e r a n d h i g h e r e d u c a t i o n Ó ÔÕÖ×ÕÕ n 1 0 0 , 0 0 0 a n d half-a-million, d e p e n d i n g o n ¾Ç¿Î h r e p o r t s y o u b e l i e v e ) a c t u a l l y o n l y likely to g e t

c o m m i t t e e e n j o y t h e b e n e f i t s o f full

At t h e W i n t e r m e e t i n g o f t h e p o l -

o c c u r - t h e r e is c u r r e n t l y n o p r o v i s i o n

a s s u r e d b y s i g n i f i c a n t s p o n s o r s h i p back-

U n i o n backing, a structured organising

icy-making c o u n c i l o f t h e A U T held in

f o r a c o r r e s p o n d i n g e x p a n s i o n in s t a f f

ing.

t e a m a n d a year's e x p e r i e n c e . Last year's

L o n d o n o n t h e 21st o f J a n u a r y , it

numbers.

The current budget, i n c l u d i n g a n

e v e n t r e c e i v e d a n u n p r e c e d e n t e d £20,

agreed

i n c o m e p r o j e c t i o n for ticket sales, h a s t h e

000 sponsorship deal from a c o m p a n y

p r e s s f o r a 10 p e r c e n t

¾¿À h

event r u n n i n g at a deficit o f £16,600, plac-

l o o k i n g t o f o r m links

i n g a m a m m o t h task a h e a d o f t h e ball's

c h a n c e s o f a repeat o f s u c h g o o d fortune,

IC. W i t h s l i m

½ Äs

that t h e A s s o c i a t i o n s h o u l d rise in pay,

¾Ç¿Ã e calling on employers Ù ÁÎÚÂÍ¾ÃÅËÆ e in full t h e d e c l i n e

Staff

, from

colleges

London

(Imperial, Q M W a n d Goldsmith's) also

a r g u e d that,

the London

ØÍÃÃÍ¾¿Â g t h e f r e e z i n g o f ¾Å¿ÆÇÀ¿Â g f o r " o l d " u n i -

m a r k e t i n g t e a m . " U n l e s s t h e y g e t a cer-

6 team m e m b e r s have been assigned to

p a y l e v e l s o f u p t o 36 p e r c e n t s i n c e

versities for t h e past s e v e n years, their

tain a m o u n t o f s p o n s o r s h i p t h e t i c k e t

¾¿Ã l b e s o h i g h , I d o n ' t t h i n k ½ e c o u l d justify It" ½ Ä s t h e U n i o n ' s p o s i t i o n

a t t r a c t i n g s p o n s o r s h i p . T o d a t e o v e r 300

1981 a n d m a k e a n i r r e v o c a b l e c o m -

salaries have b e e n steadily e r o d e d ,

price

companies have been contacted and

mitment

Th e grant allocation f r o m t h e fund-

"every c o m p a n y t a r g e t e d is at a c o n s i d -

c l o s e that g a p p e r m a n e n t l y , a n d t h e n

i n g council d o e s actually include a

a c c o r d i n g t o D e p u t y P r e s i de n t ( F i n a n c e &

e r a t i o n s t a g e " a c c o r d i n g t o t h e ball's

k e e p it c l o s e d " . It

Services) C h r i s Ince.

Head o f Marketing, Amir Hasan.

that a series o f one-day strikes a n d

has not d o n e m u c h to alleviate the

b o y c o t t s , that c o u l d

problem.

Committee mem-

that

the

£16600

bers t h o u g h t t h e situation m i g h t b e

explained

e a s e d t h r o u g h ticket prices a n d h a v e

s t e m m e d f r o m their i n t e n t i o n t o d o u b l e

shortfall

to a rapid

programme

½ Äs also

decided

disrupt t e a c h i n g

London

¾Å¿ÆÇÀ¿ÂÆ , b u t t h i s a p p a r e n t l y University

teachers

a n d examinations, not to m e n t i o n the

repeatedly been promised pay

experimented

clearing system for admissions,

that h a v e n e v e r o c c u r r e d ,

ings o f s t u d e n t a n d lecturer rates.

¾¿À h t h e relative ¾Å¿ÆÇÀ - last year's e n t e r t a i n m e n t a n d s t a t e d "The È¼½ - e v e n t ¾¿Ã l g o r e g a r d l e s s o f h o ½ m u c h ever t h e DP(F&S) c o m m e n t e d , " W h i c h e v e r m o n e y ½ e get...it'll b i g g e r a n d b e t t e r ever ½ Ä y y o u play ¾¿À h it, y o u n e e d t o t h a n it ½ Ä s last year, that's g u a r a n t e e d . " 0000 a n d £20000." T h e M r . H a s a n ½ Ä s insistent that s p o n s o r s h i p raise ÉÅÀ¾ÅÅ n ¾ÍÊÃ d n o t j e o p a r d i s e t h e ball a n d felt U n i o n ¾¿Ã l b e r e q u i r e d t o ÊÂËÅÌ¾Ì¿À e t h e e v e n t o n v a r i o u s c o n t r a c t s a n d ¾¿Ã l b e d e t e r m i n a t i o n ½ Ä s t h e k e y "We ¾¿Ã l k e e p l o o k i n g for a far h e a l t h i e r state o f affairs l o o k i n g f o r m o n e y until t h e e v e n t hapby t h e e n d o f February. If t h e f u n d s d o p e n s . " But Apri l b r i n g s ¾¿À h it t h e n e ½ not materialise s e v e r e cut-backs t o enterfinancial year a n d prospective sponsors ¾¿Ã l b e l o a t h e t o m a k e s u c h i n v e s t m e n t s t a l n m e n t a r e e x p e c t e d , ¾¿À h extrava¾¿À h a n e ½ a n n u a l b u d g e t , g a n c e s s u c h as t h e s e l e c t i o n o f f a i r g r o u n d r i d e s likely t o b e t h e first vietims.

T h e c o m m i t t e e a r e l o o k i n g f o r ideas,

ØÍÌ¾ÁÌ d

if t h e d e m a n d s

¾ÍÊÃ d àá â e n o t

met. A c c o r d i n g to t h e A U I ' s pay claim, p u b l i s h e d in D e c e m b e r

'98, educa-

t i o n a l i n s t i t u t i o n s a r e g e n e r a l l y in a

students

command

have

ÛÜÝ ÞÜß s

¾Ç¿Ã e

higher

many

salaries

¾¿ÀÇ¿ n a f e ½ y e a r s o f l e a v i n g u n i v e r s i t y . T h e G u a r d i a n reports that Triesman,

AUT General

David

Secretary,

c a l l e d o n m i n i s t e r s t o b r i n g in a n i n d c -

¾ b o d y to han-

g o o d p o s i t i o n to i n c r e a s e t h e p a y o f

p e n d e n t statutory revie

their staff.

die an d streamline pay submissions

Under the government's Compre-

ãäå æäç , h i g h e r e d u c a t i o n ¾¿Ã l a c t u a l l y r e c e i v e m o r e m o n e y t h a n t h e i n s t i t u t i o n s àá â e b u d g e t i n g f o r , e v e n ¾¿ÀÇÍÊ t t a k i n g i n t o

hensive Spending

o n b e h a l f o f a c a d e m i c staff. H e a d d e d

àá â e n o t t a k i n g t h i n g s ¾¿Ò h t o d o anyt h i n g t h a t ¾ÍÊÃ d s e r i o u s l y a f f e c t stud e n t s . èÍ¾ÅéÅÌ , t h e f a c t d o e s r e m a i n t h a t a n y a c t i o n c a n b e t r i g g e r e d in ê½ o m o n t h s ' t i m e b y a b a l l o t , that m e m b e r s

lightly a n d d i d not

enquiries a n d m e m b e r s for t h e S u m m e r

account the additional income gencr-

have vehe-

Ball 2000 c o m m i t t e e . C o n s e q u e n t l y t h e r e

ated via tuition fees a n d increased

m e n t l y r e j e c t e d all s u g g e s t i o n s o f t h e

is a n o p e n m e e t i n g o n F e br u a r y 3 in t h e

funding

non-governmental

Chris

failure o f this year's ball a n d c l a i m t h e cur-

U n i o n D i n i n g Hall at 1 2 p m , lecturers a n d

s o u r c e s ( L U , c h a r i t i e s , i n d u s t r y , over-

(finance

rent f i n a n c i a l laxity is i n e v i t a b l e , c o n s i d -

s t u d e n t s alik e a r e

seas students etc). M o r e o v e r , over the

e x p r e s s e d his h o p e that " t h e issues

ering the scale a n d nature o f the event,

information o n the event can be obtained

past

c a n b e r e s o l v e d by arbitration rather

Citing the tentative

b y r e g i s t e r i n g o n t h e s u m m e r ball

have g on e

Committee members

but d e t e r m i n e d

organisation o f ICs inaugural s u m m e r

Continued

From

breaking

point)

£900

they

captured

the

hearts of t h e o n l o o k e r s . As t h e c o m p e r e , t h e r e d o u b t a b l e and madcap

ÀÍ¾ÁÌË s

Katie Smith s u c c e s s f u l l y

punctuated the s h o

¾ in a f a s h i o n a k i n

to J e n n y M c C a r t h y . S h e also p r e s i d e d

undei

deservin

O n W e d n e s d a y Rag

½ ÐÑ -

decade,

student-to-staff ratios

u p f r o m 7.1:1 t o 1 2 . 2 : 1 ,

placing a n additional b u r d e n o n teach-

causes.

Page

Up-to-date

site at:

raised a shade

¾ÅÃÎÍÏÅ .

from

Ince,

Deputy

President

a n d Services),

Union,

¾Ç¿Î h ¾ÍÌÚ Ù .

than h a v i n g t o resort t o striking, might jeopardise students'

afternoon. Other Rag

events

ìíí k

for

included the

H y p n o t i s t last T h u r s d a y

hit t h e s t r e e t s o f L o n

a n d t h e Field C u p o n

d o n . Several clubs took n g j

Saturday (both of

part,

îï ð t

including

Mountaineers,

the Circus

happened

after

to press).

¾Ç¿Î h Felix

Today

Skills, C a n o e C l u b , G l i d -

( M o n d a y ) s e e s t h e final

ing an d Rag members.

event, t h e Slave A u c t i o n

The

in t h e U n i o n

Canoe

Club

brought along a canoe

¾ÇÅÅÃ s

over the raffle c o m p e t i t i o n a n d t h e

h e a d s h a v i n g o f six Linstead Hall ran-

lecting,

Concert

H a l l at 1 2 . 3 0 p m .

to aid col-

¾Ç¿Ã e

the

½ Äs a s h a m e that t h e m o u n t a i n e e r s , j o i n e d together by ropes, latter f u n d r a i s i n g i d e a ½ Ä s n o t d o n e in scaled t h e streets of p u b l i c or t o a m o r e s a v a g e d e g r e e . T h e Westminster. The event s h o ¾ e n d e d ¾¿À h ' M o l e ' a n o t h e r IC ¾Á s r e a s o n a b l y s u c band p e r f o r m i n g a n u m b e r o f ¾ÅÃ l cessful, raising a r o u n d received s t a n d a r d p o p u l a r hits. T h e £800 t h r o u g h o u t t h e e v e n i n g ½ Ä s v e r y s u c c e s s f u l s i n c e it

d o m s , t h o u g h it

e s , s , n

Photos:

h Would you like to gain valuable businesses i n the

ñòóö÷?

ñ òó k

ñôõh one of the largest consumer goods 8-10 øùùú s ñôõ h some of the ñ òóö÷û s most

experience this summer

Here's an opportunity to

ñòók

for

famous brands like Persil, Peperami and Calvin K l e i n .

ñ òók on genuine ü projects and get an insight into ho a global giant really operates. You ñ ôö l even get paid for the privilege! Unilever is l o o k i n g for applicants for their 1999 S u m m e r Programme. You can expect to

If you

ýþÿt to be considered for a place, pick u p o u r brochure and application form from

the Careers Service or telephone o u r helpline for further details on

Hurry!

Applications

dose

the

26th

1 3 0

February

1999.

U r

l e t t e r s

Football Club Successes

'Lay O f f The Pills!' Reply

D e a r Felix,

D e a r Sir,

Last

s " c o m p e t i t i v e " m a t c h r e p o r t

d S t o m p o n IC 6 t h s " h a s p r o m p t e d m e t o e t h i s l e t t e r at

regarding the events o n the M l

Yet a g a i n s o m e m e m b e r s o f t h e a d m i n -

entitled

m o u s letter, 'Lay O f f t h e Pills!', r e g a r d i n g

d u r i n g t h e M e d i c s ' R a g D a s h ; or t o b e

istration staff in S h e r f i e l d h a v e p r o v e d

m y a r t i c l e ' A g o n y o r Ecstasy?'

more precise, regarding the ICSMSU

l o n g last. A s c a p t a i n o f t h e s i x t h s it h a s

a p p e a r e d in Felix t h e p r e v i o u s

hierarchy's reaction to t h e m . I myself

contacted

a m a first y e a r m e d i c a n d I f i n d it

Estates D i v i s i o n a b o u t t h e p o s s i b i l i t y o f

b e c o m e a p p a r e n t t o m e that

anyone

Wade In More...

Who's Afraid O f T h e Q T ?

D e a r Felix,

in r e s p o n s e t o last

anony-

% & h .

'Anonymous' has missed the point

$." r

D e a r Felix,

if s/he a c t u -

r y i n g that t h e p r e s i d e n t o f m y u n i o n

c a t i o n h a s s o far r e a d o n l y a b o u t s e v e n

ally r e a d t h e article at all. E v e r y o n e e l s e

t o o k it u p o n h i m s e l f t o a d m o n i s h t h o s e

g o a l r e v e r s a l s t o R S M II a n d

I've h a d f e e d b a c k f r o m h a s g o t t h e p o i n t ,

of m y friends

o u r p r o g r e s s in your

publi-

s o d r a m a t i c a l l y that I

high a n d mighty they are. W h e n I a certain

member

of the

arranging a s p o n s o r e d abseil f r o m the

b u t f o r A n o n y m o u s ' b e n e f i t , I'll state it

e n o u g h t o b e c a u g h t u p in t h i s m a t t e r .

Q u e e n ' s H " r f o r R a g , t h e r e s p o n s e ) s p a r t i c u l a r l y m i n i m a l i s t i c . In fact, 8" "" n all t h e staff in t h e a f o r e m e n -

a g a i n . I a m n o t s a y i n g 'never t a k e ecstasy

That is n o t t o s a y that I c o n s i d e r t h o s e

a g a i n ; a n d n o r a m I s a y i n g 'ecstasy

students blameless; they

kill y o u ' . W h a t I a m p o i n t i n g o u t is that

sho

Es c a n , a n d d o , c a u s e l o n g - t e r m b r a i n

. $ % t s t u p i d b u s y ? )@ , b u t s u r e l y

h a v e t h e t i m e t o r e p l y b y p h o n e or e-

me enlighten y o u all, a n d hopefully

!< = e f o o l i s h , if t o ) k a l o n g a

t i o n e d division, they apparently d i d not

o n l y p o s i t i v e r e s u l t o f t h e s e a s o n ! Let

even stupid

e r e d t h e letter t o t h e p e r s o n in q u e s t i o n ,

d a m a g e . Fact. A d a m -

s t u d e n t s s h o u l d b e a b l e t o rely o n t h e

I d i s c o v e r e d that t h e i r o f f i c e h a d m o v e d .

support o f their union?

W h e n I eventually f o u n d the n e

Park, a n d m a y i n f a c t t h i n k t h a t o u r 3-2

H e y t h r o p C o l l e g e is o u r

y o u that

are not a

space, as m a n y o f y o u must think. It is t r u e t h a t

e suffered

m i n i o u s start t o t h e s e a s o n .

an igno-

) s

A largely

dition either) -

% ,

incidentally,

real ( a n d I d i d n ' t e x a g g e r a t e his c o n -

' s a ) # $ g e x a m p l e o f

3 o !< = e

not

unfortunate

I s h o u l d like t o p o i n t o u t t o W a d e

m a i l , n e v e r m i n d a letter. W h e n I d e l i v -

I inquired as to

%" %" r

this

office ' s in fact

o 4 56 t pills c a n d o . I p e r s o n a l l y b e l i e v e that that t h e C o l l e g e d o c s n o t e m p l o y h i m t h e Estates D i v i s i o n - o n e o f t h e m e m b e r s o f s t a f f h e l p f u l l y r e p l i e d , 'It m i g h t b e , a b a l a n c e c a n b e s t r u c k 8" "" n e n j o y - a n d h i s o f f i c e r s . H e is n o t )$7 " )8 e t o i n g y o u r s e l f % 7 t r e d u c i n g t h e risk; that, t h e D e a n , b u t t o us, t h e s t u d e n t s , i n c l u d - % > s a s k i n g ? ' . Is this t h e ' y e really s i o n Six, R S M a n d R A M . S i n c e t h e n o u r 46 It m e m b e r s o f staff o f O U R c o l l e g e t o o f c o u r s e , is . n t o t h e i n d i v i d u a l . ing those 3 o h e treated so appallingly, injured players have returned, s o m e ? . ) y t h r o u g h a n a l r e a d y s t r e s s f u l b e h a v e ? Q u i t e * +, - e A n o n y m o u s g o t t h e excellent n e talent has been o r d e a l . I c a n s e e that a s p r e s i d e n t , W a d e recruited, a n d e have n as a i d e a that I've n e v e r t a k e n pills, o r i n d e e d inexperienced side s u c c u m b e d to

heavy defeats by t h e b i g boys o f Divi-

t e a m , in t e r m s o f b o t h spirit a n d abil-

that I've h a d a b a d e x p e r i e n c e , I really

c o u l d n ' t g o o n TV a n d s a y that l a r k i n g

ity.

don't

about o n the M l

#$ .

If s /h e ' d b o t h e r e d t o r e a d

#$ ,

' s a great t h i n g t o d o ;

unequiv-

m y c o n c e r n is that h e c o u l d n ' t b r i n g

then league leaders (unpublicised for

o c a l l y , that I h a v e - a n d l o v e d it. Clearly,

h i m s e l f to express his s u p p o r t to t h o s e

s o m e reason) started o u r revival,since

A n o n y m o u s s i m p l y can't h a n d l e t h e facts,

c o n c e r n e d in p r i v a t e . O r m a y b e W a d e

a n d is l a s h i n g o u t at r a n d o m ; t h e r e a c -

f e e l s that a s p r e s i d e n t , h e h a s a r e s p o n -

league g a m e s s c o r i n g e l e v e n g o a l s in

tion

sibility t o t h e

the process.

obsessed paranoids

A c r e d i t a b l e 3-3 d r a

n e

have

against the

o u r last

three

Our tremendous run of

f o r m c u l m i n a t e d i n a 7-1 c u p t r i u m p h

! y t o h i g h e r d i v i s i o n o p p o s i t i o n last " " # " $ d [ f o r % & h a m a t c h r e p o r t s h a l l b e / h a s b e e n s u b m i t t e d ] , % & h sees us t h r o u g h to t h e quarter-finals. Regarding the

this

's o n e o f a n u m b e r

Park g a m e , of friendlies

u s e d b y m y s e l f t o try o u t s q u a d p l a y e r s ,

t h e first p a r a g r a p h s/he'd

the

is f a i r l y t y p i c a l

% e d

of those

drug-

like t o t h i n k

is o u t t o s t o p

them

f r o m h a v i n g a g o o d t i m e . That A n o n y m o u s lack s t h e g u t s e v e n t o s i g n their

( ) d

receives

t h e credit

$." r

many

people are

d a m a g e is d o n e .

or y o u ' r e n o t a n d y o u d o n ' t . If y o u c o n -

S a r a h Rutt

reached

l o n g e r safe."

9 ":" r e h a v e

recently

pleased

to c o m e to

It is a n t i c -

scrapes

g o t into this m e s s , t h e n

4 56 t

; d !< = e if a n y h a r m

Hockey Thirds

Tuesday In r e s p o n s e t o t h e r e p o r t (1133) o n t h e

to u s e s u c c e s s f u l sports c l u b s t o attract

true, they

match

potential students, I believe t h e s e clubs

that

III h o c k e y c l u b s , I

have t h e right t o e x p e c t

course

support,

%" 7" .

both

$> t treat h i m p r o p e r l y a n d ; d b e just t e r r i b l e . W e l o f c o n s i d e r a n y r a n s o m that

d e m a n d e d , only

y o u can prove

p o s s e s s i o n o f Sedrick. We

Yours sincerely,

D e a r Felix,

these. G o o d l u c k in f i n d i n g S e d r i c k , I h o p e

is d u e i n

Monday

G o o d Sho E From The

t h e r u m o u r that t h e m i n e r s h a v e h i m isn't

return, namely

a n o n y m o u s letters .

the

financial a n d

submitting

- or at least o f f e r

a c h i e v e d t h i s s e a s o n , s o if t h e u n i o n is

4 56 t

card must b e

get into,

Unsigned

b e very dis-

a c u p semi-final

similar success

7 J e

D e a r Blac k H o l e S q u a d ,

learnt that S e d r i c k m a y still c o n t a i n s o m e

that

but a

Yours sincerely

valuable items. W e

ipated

Letters n e e d not b e s i g n e d ,

dents' union?

BUSA, t h e

play for h i g h e r t e a m s .

)@ .

n o t b e a l t e r e d in a n y oth e r

Mascotry Revenge?

t h e last e i g h t i n t h e n a t i o n a l s t a g e s o f

c o m f o r t to - t h o s e o f o u r c o l l e a g u e s

t h e t h e f t o f S e d r i c k S a f e , " t h e s a f e is n o

ABC D r

able to identify

/0/ 1 e

a n d t h e 6ths p r o d u c e d 4 players

but

sider yourself not to b e a student, or not

C h a l l e n g e C u p Final a n d t h e 3 r d XI

2 % s r e a c h e d

Letters m a y b e e d i t e d f o r l e n g t h ,

a n d s u p p o r t t h e rest o f u s

Yours sincerely,

W e a r e v e r y d i s t u r b e d t o l e a r n that after

% e t h e f o u r t h s

everything

through

that last s e a s o n t h e 1st XI r e a c h e d t h e

their division,

s e v e n ' that

12noon Wednesday.

h e l l a r e y o u d o i n g at t h e h e a d o f o u r s t u -

d e s e r v e s f o r its s p o r t i n g a c h i e v e m e n t s . I

sure The M l

% & h

h a v e b e e n t o reas-

to b e s e n s i b l e b e f o r e t o o m u c h b r a i n

s t a r t e d , a n d m a k e s m e q u e s t i o n if t h e club

; d

student

p r o v e s s/he falls i n t o t h i s c a t e -

to a possible rematch.

football

(hopefully)

u p s o o n a n d lear n

d h a v e e t o o look * +, - e

h i m to override h i d gut reaction,

Deadline for letters Is

forces

g o r y . Let u s j u s t h o p e that s / h e , a n d

s o m e decent players a n d

This b r i n g s m e b a c k t o

% & h

t h o s e like h i m , g r o

t h r e e r e g u l a r starters (i.e. a virtual sevLven so,

community' and

; d b e O K . Sorry, W a d e ; that $> t )7% ; it's all or n o t h i n g : e i t h e r y o u ' r e a

name

a n d the t e a m that d a y i n c l u d e d o n l y

enth team).

> ." r

o t h e r sorts o f c r a p like that

Anon

a r e all p r a y i n g that S e d r i c k is

safe a n d

Rob Davenport,

Hit S q u a d

C a p t a i n , I C U A F C 6 t h XI

C&GU

8" "" n

t h e IC a n d I C S M m e n ' s

; d

s e

like t o say I a m

g l a d t o s e e that t h e r e is a s t r o n g s e n s e o f i r o n y a m o n g a t e a m that beaten

' s " l of

Thursday

o n the day. Such a s h o

s p o r t s m a n s h i p is c o m m e n d a b l e in a n y t e a m . T h a n k s for t h e g a m e a n d I l o o k for-

) d

Friday

t o o u r next m e e t i n g ,

James

FG4 c

I C S M Ills

s c

7% n

E d i t o r i a l s

oiKWb r

Yes, that card ,

has b e e n

m e r c h a n d i s e e x t r a v a g a n z a t h a t is 14

a success. OK, so I don't

h a v e t h e final statistics c o n c e r n i n g t h e

F e b r u a r y is r e a r i n g its r o m a n t i c

head

a g a i n . A s is t r a d i t i o n a l , F e l i x

WXLYLZ g

[ Thursday night t h e F i e l d C u p last S a t u r d a y \] ^_` ,

I don't even k n o

f e c t i o n in a suitably fluffy t y p e f a c e . I

WtbYtb r t o p u t t h e s e in i s s u e y zz{|1 o r 1 } F e b r u [ 1 1 3 6 ] , s o if y o u qr s t t h e m in n e x t

heightened

t h a t it

def R a g

a r o u n d the college. The key, o f

ary

unsure

uvv wx s

c o u r s e , is g o o d p u b l i c i t y - i n t h e s e

ghhk

pages, o n posters a n d flyers a r o u n d

W e d n e s d a y early a f t e r n o o n .

WKX d

college, a n d by extremely loud

WLc e

p l e a s e s e n d / e m a i l t h e m / e t c by Other-

g e t t h e m t o m e b y W e d n e s d a y 10

oKiiKWLZ g kXaWLZ~c ,

m o u t h . M o s t o f the credit must g o to

February for publication the

Sarah C o b u r n a n d t h e R a g ' t e a m ' , but

M o n d a y . A n y a n d all p o e t r y ,

s o m e should also g o to y o u , the stu-

silly n a m e s

d e n t s - after all, y o u d i d m u c h o f t h e

sex a c c e p t e d . I might e v e n give a prize

r a i s i n g ( a n d g i v i n g ) . If o n l y

to the most

could have been

aiiKWb d

College

and desperate

WLYY y

cries for

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so proactive a n d

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like t o

W s a b b s D a v e , Chris M a r i e , f o r r a i s i n g aWaXbZbc s o f t h e

congratulate m y fello

I a m technologically inebriated. I n o

and

almost

forthcoming sabbatical elections. They have been

XbWaXkb d

phone,

[

m i c r o p h o n e , a n d c a m e r a . I s p e n d half o f m y d a y in front o f a k e y b o a r d typ-

l u c k t o D a v e H e l l a r d in

[ py - m a y h e

application form the other day, a n d m a d e a mistake for every t e n

office space. D u e to popular d e m a n d , I n o t b e o n s a l e , b u t if a n y m a d f o o l

does sofa

qr st m e , I'm s l o u c h e d o n t h e Felix Monday

(and

indeed

most)

lunchtimes.

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C o m m e n t s a r e

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u s .

s u g g e s t i o n s

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l e a f l e t s

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sug-

g e s t e d t h a t I g e t a P a l m Pilot t o c o m -

[ p . I kit. N o

please

Let u s n o t f o r g e t t h a t a p e n is

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plete m y mod-con

postgraduate

be bought for a president's r a n s o m a n d

t h i n k

i n g ( a s I'm c u r r e n t l y d e m o n s t r a t i n g ) , i a t t e m p t e d t o fill u p a

the m o n e y used to further increase his

lmn l

t e l l

player/recorder,

by six s t u d e n t s

t h e Slave A u c t i o n , b y t h e

t o

carry a r o u n d a m o b i l e

minidisc

standing for positions. H o p e f u l l y m o r e

lmn l oKiiKW . G o o d

focus

t h e b e e r festival t o g o a h e a d . . .

O n a similar v e i n , I

i NOPQ •.•,). ra.:.*-::F.n.;;.\

y o u r m e s s a g e s o f a f f e c t i o n a n d disaf-

but t h e r e d e f i n i t e l y s e e m e d to b e a

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WLi l

KLMr

a n d stuffed toy

a m o u n t r a i s e d (at t h e t i m e o f

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It s e e m s t h a t , f o r a c h a n g e , I C U R a g

and

S m a l l

groups

Home

m.horne@ic.ac.uk the

contact

Union

Office

still

u s e a p a p e r n o t e b o o k , a n d it h a s n ' t run o u t of batteries yet.

Do You Have Asthma? If y o u a r e p r e p a r e d t o p a r t i c i p a t e in clinical trials t o e v a l u a t e n e

[ treat-

ments for asthma, please calf

G o o d h computers? Persons

WLY h

computer

Sivjansson: Fiterature

City & Guilds College

on Film

Union Bar Night!

ZKWibk~ e

r e q u i r e d t o e n t e r d a t a a n d fix faults in

ZbWi y

installed system.

C h a n g e s t h r o u g h T i m e (illustrated talk).

6pm

Union

Central Library, fevel 2 C o n f e r e n c e R o o m

0171

W e d n e s d a y 3 February,

WtLic t p a r t i c i p a t i n g in c l i n i c a l trials WLi l b e r e i m b u r s e d

G r a b a n E xe c m e m b e r f o r a f r e e pint!

Celestion DF8 speakers

G o o d rates!

Expenses incurred

} 0

0171 434

for sale

0 Watt, s p e a k e r

M o d e m For Sale P C M I A , 28.8kB/s, D i g i c o m , b r a n d n e & b o x e d ; all

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£100

taXkWaX e ( l e a d s etc), cKoYWaX e a n d text.

[

£30

ask for A n t h o n y Scholefield

Contact comber97@lc.ac.uk

Call D a n : 0171 244 8060 (dc197@lc.ac.uk)|

Science an d Maths

Have you got any plans

Indonesian Students

International Night

Tutors Required

for this summer?

Speak Out!

Needs You!

S c i e n c e a n d M a t h s t u t o r s r e q u i r e d in

Sleeping, b u m m i n g aroung, typing up

London and the H o m e Counties.

this year's notes?

Last y e a r a dictato r o f 30 y e a r s

K bXYtXKW n

T h e n this is n o t f o r y o u .

Wanted: members

outgoing,

motivated

for challenging to

team expedition

This

by a mass uprising.

ghh k [ o I n d o n e s i a n

students

active in t h e m o v e m e n t a r e t a l k i n g at IC.

in t h e IC diary, t h i s y e a r it is o n 12th DJ t o p e r f o r m at t h e after s h o

party

a n d a j a z z o r Latin A m e r i c a n b a n d

Chile.

(you

WLi l b e paid!!!). W of s o m e o n e

If y o u t h i n k y o u k n o

Wto

? Contact

I n t e r n a t i o n a l n i g h t is t h e largest e v e n t february. W e are l o o k i n g for a d e c e n t

r l

[ ps

c a n h e l p , o r if y o u t h i n k y o u ' r e

aZ WK a n

Thursday 4 February

the

Mech

rJI297@ic.ac.uk o r c o n t a c t t h e O S C .

342

then email M o o n

t I I

s t o l d t it m e a n s t o b e a m a n . N o I've r e a c h e d

n t h e days o f m y y o u t h I

I that a g e I've tried t o d o all t h o s e t h i n g s the best I c a n . But it's not all b e e n plain sail-

¡¢ , I've h a d m y s h a r e . Just recently m y

ing - o h n o . G o o d t i m e s , b a d t i m e s , y o u

¢ that I have, or rather h a d , one), m y ¢¡£¤ n left h o m e for a n o t h e r m a n ¢¥¡¦ e only o u t s t a n d i n g feature, t o m y m i n d , s ¡¢ n e y e s . I ¢¡©ª d h a v e his s t r i k i n g §¨ t h o u g h t that b e i n g t r a m p l e d u n d e r f o o t ¢¡©ª d h a v e s h o o k m e , but ¢«ª l I still d o n ' t ¢ s e e m to care. All I k n o is that I fell in l o v e ¢¬ h a girl as ®¯°° t as c o u l d b e , but that it only t o o k a c o u p l e o f days 'til s h e s rid o f m e . W e s e e m e d s o right for e a c h o t h e r ¦¢¡ ¨ e that s h e ¢¡©ª d b e all m i n e a n d - she girlfriend ( a n d it m a y surprise s o m e o f y o u

to k n o

love m e t o t h e e n d a n d I really b e l i e v e d

o p e n t o offers. For m y part

s besotted, although I ¢¤¬« d I d e c i d e d t o try t h e I t h i n k s o m e o f t I s s a y i n g s lost ÒÓÔÕÖÕ ²×Ø Ñ e j u k e b o x that s t o o d in a n o t h e r o n h e r -1 s e x c i t e d a n d n e r v o u s , a n d in c o r n e r o f t h e r o o m . U n f o r t u n a t e l y , it s such circumstances I have a tendency to b r o k e n a n d only played o n e record s o that r a m b l e o n . It g o t later a n d later, a n d e v e n ¢ ¢¬ n o matter h o m a n y buttons y o u p r e s s e d , h t h e leaves falling all a r o u n d it tually ¢¤ s t i m e I s o n m y ¢¤Ã . I t h a n k e d t h e m t h e s o n g r e m a i n s t h e s a m e . Still, t h e o n e ¢¤ s a n Elvis n u m b e r a n d f u n c t i o n i n g track a n d t o l d t h e m that I s m u c h o b l i g e d for as it'd b e e n a l o n g t i m e s i n c e I'd roc k a n d s u c h a pleasant stay, but that n o it s rolled I sat back to e n j o y t t h e King h a d t i m e for m e t o g o . I t o o k m y l e a v e o f ¢¬ to offer. Truda h regret, but n o t b e f o r e e h a d Eventually T r u d a arrived, l o o k i n g lovea r r a n g e d a date. I s u g g e s t e d g o i n g to t h e ¢¤ª ¬ Ù , I n o t i c e d for t h e lier th an ever, but c i n e m a or t h e theatre: "Let m e take y o u t o ¢¬ ¦¥¡¢É " I first t i m e , h a p r o n o u n c e d l i m p . It s t h e movies,- c a n I take y o u t o a clear that s h e h a d difficulty s u p p o r t i n g a n y s a i d . But s h e s m i l e d a n d said that a quiet ¢¡©ª d b e better. I got t h e t u b e b a c k ¢«¬Ù¥ t o n h e r left l e g . W h e n s h e h a d sat drink ¢¤ª ¬ g o n air - clearly this ÚÛÜÝ , I a s k e d a b o u t h e r a i l m e n t . S h e t o m y p l a c e still ¢¤ s a t i m e for rejoicing, a c e l e b r a t i o n d a y s m i l e d , s a y i n g that it s a o l d injury s h e ¢¤ s s o m e - h a d s u f f e r e d d u r i n g a c l i m b i n g a c c i d e n t in in fact. Unfortunately t h e m o o d ¢¥¬ª¦ t h e r t s p o i l e d by m y b e i n g s t o p p e d by a t h e fjords o f her h o m e l a n d a n d d a n c i n g days »¼ ½ e clearly over s h e s plain-clothes ticket i n s p e c t o r Ê o f i n e d m u c h better Þß . At t h e t i m e , s h e h a d m e £10 f o r h a v i n g a Travelcard f o r o n l y b e e n s o badly injured that s h e c o u l d o n l y Z o n e s 2-6 e x c l u d i n g Z o n e 1. I p r o t e s t e d , ¢¬ h t h e a i d o f f o u r sticks. But I get a b o u t s a y i n g that I d i d n ' t realise that it s q u i t e ¢¤ s s o § «¢¬Ð¥« d by this living loving m a i d s o vital t o h a v e a Z o n e 1 ticket ¶ ·¸ n travI

s t h e o n e - b u t s o m e t i m e s all ¢¡ ±« ¨ . It really m a k e s m e ¢¡ ±« ¨ . me ¢¥¡ª e lotta l o v e b u t We used to have a ¢¥¬ª after a e I couldn't get th rou gh to her. «¤ ±¡¢ n W e suffered a c o m m u n i c a t i o n §¨ ¢¤ s terrible - s h e t u r n e d o u t t o b e a a n d it ¢¤ s unfaithful t o m e e l l i n g t o Putney, but t h e h e f i n e d m e anyreal heartbreaker. S h e ¡¢ n flat - s h e ¢¤Ã , saying that it ¢¡©ª d teach m e a lesson o n a regular basis, e v e n in m y ¢¤ s m e s s i n g a r o u n d ¢¬ h e v e r y g u y in a n d that " the t i m e ¢¬ª l c o m e ¶ ·¸ n y o u ¢¬ª l ²³´µ , d r a g g i n g m e ±¡¢ n by b r i n g i n g t h e m learn that O n e is all, a n d all is O n e . " Nasty ¢¡ - m a n . o n h o m e , just ¶ ·¸ n I h a d b e g u n t o ¢ der " h o m a n y m o r e times?" s h e d r o p p e d I h a d a g r e e d t o m e e t T r u d a t h e very that s h e

of our t h o u g h t s are misgiven. O o h it m a k e s

t h e b o m b s h e l l : " B a b e , I'm g o n n a l e a v e

¶ ·¸ n " t h e s u m m e r c o m e s a-rolling" - it s M a r c h at t h e ¥¡¢«¹« ¨ , I k n e ¢ that o n e t i m e . In reality ¢¡©ª± º t b e l o n g , I'd of t h o s e days, a n d it l o o k for her a n d b a b y s h e ' d b e g o n e . I s

y o u , " but a p p a r e n t l y o n l y

right. S h e d i d n ' t e v e n h a v e t h e c o u r t e s y t o

¢¬ h a n note. Apparentl y s h e ' d s h a c k e d u p A m e r i c a n . Last t h i n g I h e a r d t h e y »¼ ½ e tell m e t o m y f a c e - s h e just left m e a brief

g o i n g to California.

t p e o p l e m e a n b y ±¡¢ n a n d

Well it d i d n ' t t a k e t o o l o n g b e f o r e I f o u n d out

out. I b e g a n g o i n g o u t o n t h e tiles in t h e

¢¡ e

next d a y in a bar near t o her flat. It t u r n e d

¢¬ h o n l y a black d o g for c o m p a n y . Thus, it s

o u t that s h e lived a small a p a r t m e n t at t h e e n d o f t h e s o u t h b o u n d N o r t h e r n Line

in t h e darkest d e p t h s o f M o r d e n that I m e t a girl s o fair. I r e a c h e d t h e a p p o i n t e d

d e c o r a t e d in t h e Indian f a s h ion. It l o o k e d like a

n o b o d y ' s fault b u t m i n e . I m i g h t h a v e

v ers i on o f o n e o f t h o s e h o u s e s

g o n e o n like this indefinitely, b u t f o r a

¢¡©ª d t u r n m y ¢¡ ¨ ª d

o f t h e h o l y m e n that y o u o c c a -

±¡¢ . W a l k i n g in t h e park just t h e other day, t d o y o u t h i n k I ¾¿À ? I s a ¢¬ h Á ª¡¢« ¨ s p e o p l e sitting o n t h e g r o u n d

s i o n a l l y s e e in travel

seen a g o o d deal of

s part

¢¡ ¨ ¬ g o n f l o o d relief

o n t h e u p p e r r e a c h e s o f t h e Indus. A p p a r -

but

s right,

but finally I h a d

v e n e d . O n t h e a p p o i n t e d day, as I p a c k i n g m y b a g s , t h e p h o n e r a n g . It

s s

¢¥¬Ð h m e a n t that

T r u d a , at t h e airport. T h e r e h a d b e e n a

¢¡©ª d she

c h a n g e o f plan, s h e said,

h a v e t o g o t o Pakistan a l o n e .

"I'm sorry," s h e s o b b e d . ' T h a n k y o u , for everything." I

s devastated a n d through

a veil o f tears I p o u r e d o u t m y heart t o her,

s b e c o m i n g ¦¡£«¢¥¤ t

b e g g i n g h e r t o stay, p r o m i s i n g h e r all m y love. I

incoher-

ent at this p o i n t a n d I h a d t o a p o l o g i s e to her for not m a k i n g m u c h sense, saying that

¢¤ s t o o late - t h e pips

" s i n c e I've b e e n l o v i n g y o u I'm a b o u t to l os e m y m i n d . " But it

¢¬¥¬ n m y grasp, but yet it h a d never b e e n truly m i n e - it s a c a s e o f t is a n d t s h o u l d never be. I s i n c o n s o l a b l e f o r day s but I'll had g o n e a n d s o had she. Happiness had been

»¼ ½e O K at t h e m o m e n t ¶ ·¸ n t h e l e v e e breaks, it ¢¤ s g o i n g t o

ently t h i n g s t h e r e

b o u n c e back. Every m o r n i n g I l o o k in t h e mirror a n d tell m y s e l f " you r t i m e is g o n n a

get d i c e y - h e n c e t h e n e e d for h e r rapid

c o m e . " That's o n e t h i n g that t h e e p i s o d e

Trip France

¢«¤ ¨ ¬ g

s o m e o n e had painted a scene

s really o u t o f m y m i n d . I m u s t h a v e ¡¥« ¨ ¢¬¦ e I ¢¡©ª d n e v e r h ave h a d t h e c o u r a g e t o s p e a k to this g o r ¢¥ o s o n e o f t h e g r o u p . geous blonde Her n a m e s T r u d a M o u n t a i n a n d s h e ¢¤ s f r o m Â ¡ ¨ ¢¤Ã : " F r o m t h e l a n d said s h e ¦ ¡¢ , f r o m t h e m i d n i g h t s u n of the ice a n d Ä ÅÆ Çe t h e h o t s p r i n g s § ª¡¢È " t o u s e h e r ¡¢ n ¢¡ ¨ ±¦ . Straight off t h e bat s h e told m e that s h e s u n m a r r i e d but that s h e s

of a U N H C R t e a m

docu-

been, because

I didn't n o t i c e , b u t it h a d g o t v e r y d a r k a n d

I didn't think

every

e n o u g h f o r t h e air fare. But fate inter-

more I

m e n t a r i e s - a p l a c e that h a d

Ï ¦Ð¥«¢¬ g t h e delights o f t h e l o b b y I ËÌ Ít ¢¥¬Ð h s brighter in to t h e bar ¢¤ª l and cleaner. O n o n e

tea and have s o m e f u n . Time passed a n d

night. It really m a d e

her allure, a n d t h e m o r e

g o o d for m o r e exotic c l i m e s . "Jamaica?" I

s ¢¥¬Ð h m y life a d r a g ,

¢¡ ¨ ¬ g f r o m s e v e n t o e l e v e n

I got a j o b at a n all-night store a n d soon

¨ © Î±¡¢ n

c o n f u s e d . But I can't really c o m p l a i n - it's

in their hair a n d t h e y a s k e d m e t o stay f o r

she agreed.

t h e o u t d o o r t o f i n d m y s e l f in a tatty but o r n a t e e n t r a n c e hall,

upside

¢¤¦ ¢¬ h p r o s p e c t o f never n't listening. F a c e d ¢¬ h a s u d s e e i n g Truda a g a i n I s s e i z e d d e n d e s i r e t o a c c o m p a n y her t o Kashmir. ¢¬ h y o u , " I b e g g e d , "I'm "Let m e c o m e Ð ¤¢ g o n n a ¨ l if n eces s ary. " T o m y great joy g o by but in t h e l o n g run, t h e r e ' s still t i m e

t o c h a n g e t h e r o a d y o u ' r e o n " . But I

T h e Royal O r l e a n s -

c h a n c e m e e t i n g that

piercin g g a z e "there are

that e v e n h e r idiosyncratic gait -1 called it

asked. She shook her head. She

¢¬ h her ¢ o paths y o u c a n

m i n u t e . "Yes", s h e said, fixing m e

t h e M i s s T. M o u n t a i n h o p - o n l y a d d e d t o

e talked, the ¢¤ s smitten. So y o u c a n i m a g i n e m y d i s m a y t h e n ¶ ·¸ n s h e c o o l l y a n n o u n c e d that s h e s s o o n l e a v i n g L o n d o n f o r

p r e f e r r e d route

a n d t i m e o f d e p a r t u r e right u p until t h e last

d e p a r a t u r c . S h e s t a k i n g a night flight ¢¬ h t i m e t o spare. ¢¬ ª¬ª«Î ¡¢ n W e l s h charter c o m p a n y ¢¬ h T r u d a t a u g h t m e : in this ¢¡ ¨ ª± , y o u ' v e h a ¢¤ Strangely, t h e e n t r a n c e s locked a n d t h e ¡ªª¡¢¬ g Friday. S h e got t o b e s t r o n g a n d s t a n d y o u r g r o u n d . called Bron-Yr-Air, t h e Á o n l y p o s s i b l e p o i n t o f entry s a fire exit Y o u ' v e g o t t o learn t o b e a rock a n d not to said, ¢¬ h little c h o i c e h a d c h o s e n that particular ailine, s h e¢¥¬Ð m a r k e d "Egress Only". But roll. b e c a u s e o f t h e flexibility o f t h e ticket h ¢ in t h e matter I t h r e c a u t i o n t o ¢¬ the d a n d ËÌ Í t in t h r o u g h s p o t - a sorry-looking bar-cum-hotel called

e v e n i n g , d r i n k i n g heavily. M o r e t h a n o n c e u p in a s t r a n g e p l a c e , d a z e d a n d

¤ªª¡¢« d y o u t o alter y o u r

a n d t e a r i n g b u t that still h a d a

O p e n

certain p r e s e n c e .

B o o z e

s e e the m e n u . I o r d e r e d t e a for

o n e a n d a custard pie , all t h e

f e e l i n g s t r a n g e l y like I

at a c o r n e r table a n d a s k e d t o

o n a c c o u n t o f t h e giant m u r a l ,

o f t h e o c e a n . Truda h a d not yet arrived a n d s o I t o o k m y p l a c e

time looking around m e and,

to a l l

s Saturday 6thFeb Leave:

8 a m Beit Q u a d

e k

1 Here's the

àáâã :

supermarkets are not cheap. W h e n

It c o m e s t o f r e s h p r o d u c e , y o u c a n c u t a s m u c h a s

äâo

olive oil

Transfer t h e mixture to a clean p a n , a n d heat.

salt & p e p p e r

A d d t h e flour a n d c o o k for o n e m i n u t e , then caref u l l y m i x in t h e s t o c k . A d d t h e t o m a t o e s a n d p e p p e r s

t h i r d s o f f t h e bill b y t a k i n g a t r i p t o t h e l o c a l m a r -

â from a n d m y âááåæ y

ket. I'm l u c k y e n o u g h t o l i v e a s t o n e ' s t h r o

P r e - h e a t t h e o v e n t o a b o u t 1 9 0 C , g a s m a r k S. W a s h

to t h e p a n , t h e n b r i n g t o t h e b o i l . S i m m e r f o r a b o u t

North End Road market in Fulham,

the tomatoes a n d peppers.

20 m i n u t e s , t h e n b l e n d u n t i l s m o o t h .

visit r a r e l y c o s t s m o r e t h a n a t e n n e r . t h e r e is

ç èéçê s

Moreover,

loads there for m e , a n d friends fre-

S e a s o n t o taste a n d s e r v e , p r e f e r a b l y

H a l v e a n d a r r a n g e in a l a r g e r o a s t i n g t i n , d e s e e d i n g t h e red p e p p e r s . Break u p t h e h e a d o f garlic, a n d

âöí m

S h o p p i n g at a m a r k e t is u n d o u b t e d l y l e s s c o n venient. O p e n i n g hours are restricted, a n d y o u

âëæ l

g l u g a s m u c h o l i v e o i l a s y o u d a r e (I'd g o f o r at least 3 tablespoons)

over t h e t o p , t h e n put t h e tin in t h e

have t o q u e u e at a n u m b e r o f p l a c e s t o g e t everyt h i n g . T h e r a n g e is a l s o

âì í ã e

s r

b e available, a n d y o u d o have to b e o n

the l o o k o u t for t h e really

î lo

q u a l i t y s t u f f t h a t is

sometimes about. H a v i n g said that, f o r m e t h e a d v a n t a g e s o f market s h o p p i n g far

ì ï ä â á ëð h

the disadvantages.

These recipes can only b e m a d e for sensible m o n e y if y o u b u y t h e i n g r e d i e n t s a t m a r k e t p r i c e s . B o t h involve taking h u g e quantities o f f o o d , a n d reducing to portions

âñëò h

are absolutely brimming

÷ øù n y o u ' r e úû üt t o m a k e

S e r v e s o n e . T h i s s i m p l e r e c i p e is g r e a t

t h a n s u p e r m a r k e t s . It

is i m p o s s i b l e t o b e s u r e that t h e m o r e u n u s u a l i n g r e -

âëæ l

loads

scatter t h e c l o v e s (skin intact) a b o u t t h e tin. t inally,

q u e n t l y p o p by.

dients

âë ä h

bread.

âë ä h

flavour.

c o o k i n g f o r l o a d s o f p e o p l e , b u t still something

âë ä h

p l e n t y o f f l a v o u r . I've g i v e n t h e

quantities per person, because

t h i s is e m i n e n t l y

s c a l a b l e . T h e o n l y l i m i t is t h e s i z e o f t h e p a n ! 10 o z p o r k c h o p half a red p e p p e r , s e e d e d a n d c h o p p e d a couple of mushrooms, chopped about

óý g þ ÷ùÿ e

a quarter o n i o n a quarte r pint o f m e a t s t o c k a teaspoon of cinnamon oil, preferably not olive salt a n d p e p p e r

S e r v e s s i x . T h i s is a v a r i a t i o n o f t h e r e c i p e f e a t u r e d

Cut t h e pork into c u b e s , d i s c a r d i n g b o n e b u t retain-

in t h e N e

i n g a n y r i n d . H e a t t h e o i l i n y o u r p a n u n t i l it is r e a l l y

î Covent

like real c o o k i n g ,

G a r d e n S o u p C o . b o o k . It f e e l s because

serious quantities o f

i n g r e d i e n t s a r e u s e d , a n d e v e r y last b i t o f f l a v o u r i s

h o t ( b u t n o t s m o k i n g ) , t h e n a d d t h e p o r k , a n d fry for

oven for an hour. T a k e t h e t i n o u t o f t h e o v e n , a n d rest it o v e r t h e

a b o u t a m i n u t e . T h e i d e a h e r e is t o

íìâ n

the meat,

h o b s . R e m o v e t h e t o m a t o e s , p e p p e r s a n d garlic t o

a v o i d i n g a n a n a e m i c look a n d sealing the flavour

lic u s e d . It l o o s e s m u c h o f its i n t e n s i t y i n r o a s t i n g ,

a p l a t e . Y o u a r e left

inside. This s i m p l y

g a i n i n g a really r o u n d e d flavour.

Turn o n a h o b u n d e r o n e corner o f t h e tin, t h e n g e n -

If t h e r e i s n ' t e n o u g h r o o m f o r a l l t h e m e e t t o t o u c h

tly s a u t e t h e o n i o n i n t h e o i l . Y o u s h o u l d f i n d that

the b o t t o m

3 large red p e p p e r s

the garlic has s o f t e n e d significantly. S q u e e z e t h e

W h e n t h e p o r k is d o n e , s i m p l y a d d a l l t h e o t h e r

10 m e d i u m t o m a t o e s

c l o v e s o u t o f t h e i r s k i n s . In a c o o l c o r n e r o r t h e t i n ,

i n g r e d i e n t s a n d stir. A d d a n y r i n d t o o - t h i s g i v e s t h e

1 h e a d o f garlic

mash them

braise a d d e d body.

1 medium onion, chopped

W h e n t h e o n i o n is s o f t e n e d , m i x

push t h e mixture round t h etin, scraping o f f any

rice or a b a k e d p o t a t o .

t o m a t o or p e p p e r that has stuck.

N e x t : D e a t h t o d i e t s , a n d p e r f e c t m u s h r o o m s .

captured.

Don't b e put o f f t h e t h e quantity o f gar-

ó pints o f vegetable

stock

1 tablespoon o f flour

âë ä h

âë ä h a âìàôáíõï l

flavoured oil.

a little salt t o m a k e a s m o o t h p a s t e .

âë ä h

the garlic then

âë ä h

âëæ l n o t âìí k

if t h e p a n is t o o f u l l .

s p a c e t o t u r n , t h e n fry in b a t c h e s .

S i m m e r for a n hour, t h e n s e a s o n a n d serve

ICU C I N E M A P R E S E N T S :

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I C U C i n e m a f o r the start o f the term (and p o s s i b l y longer!) l be presenting ' M o d e r n C l a s s i c s ' . Y o u r first chance to see these films o n the B I G screen. F o r a d o u b l e bo u n u s , c o m e t o o u r ' c l a s s i c ' a n d l let y o u i n to the second M o n d a y film f o r £ 1 !

Concert Hall Union Building 2nd Floor Drinks available from Da Vinci's

For Programme info, see our web pages: http://www.su.ic.ac.ul^cinema

âë ä h

n Ne

& Improved

ment options, a n d iCU's Mark

y We started r u n n i n g o u r n e

Home

f u r t h e r e x p e n d i t u r e is p l a n n e d o v e r t h e

tells u s s g o i n g o n at t h e U n i o n .

next year t o i m p r o v e a u d i o facilities e v e n more.

s c h e d u l e at t h e start o f t h i s t e r m , a n d in t h e last f e

s t h i n g s h a v e really

g We'll b e c o v e r i n g t h e C & G slave

started t o t a k e s h a p e :

auc-

People like you?

t i o n at l u n c h t i m e t o d a y . u

Like a n y s o c i e t y , s t o i c is o n l y a s g o o d a s

Rach e l G r e e n talks h m e m b e r s o f var-

its m e m b e r s . It t a k e s a lot o f $ k t o p u t

Where?

i o u s ICU c l u b s a n d s o c i e t i e s , a b o u t t

t o g e t h e r a TV p r o g r a m m e , a n d . / 0 1 e

y p e o p l e s h o u l d j o i n . It's they d o a n d a great y t o f i n d o u t s h a p p e n -

Y o u c a n ) *+ ) , s & - h o u r p r o g r a m m e s in t h e JCR, b u t . / 0 1 e l o o k i n g t o e x p a n d

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i n g a r o u n d C o l l e g e . If y o u r u n a c l u b o r

t h e n u m b e r o f p l a c e s y o u c a n & - h us

about

significantly. You'll b e able to s e c o u r

e s p e c i a l l y 4 56 n . / 0 1 e b r o a d c a s t i n g live.

e have invited y o u to appea r society,

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) *+ ) , s l o o k i n g f o r p e o p l e 3 d like t o

p r o g r a m m e s in m o r e p l a c e s n t h e Union building soon, and

Th e y m a g a z i n e , s t o i c live, is

! " . Last

fast b e c o m i n g c o m p u l s o r y

# s p r o g r a m m e s j a m - p a c k e d R a g Week action, including shots from the Rag run. There are regular items $ -

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ing music a n d t h e day's

If y o u f a n c y t r y i n g y o u r h a n d at c a m -

and coverage

of anything

Internet b r o a d c a s t i n g . Plans are l a d v a n c e d to launch a service based o n Real V i d e o , - h

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rate v i d e o

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recorded programmes.

interesting

Facilities W e ' v e just f i n i s h e d p u t t i n g t o g e t h e r o u r

g G a r e t h a n d J o e y h o s t s t o i c ' s ' p guide to the ! ( . W e take y o u through t h e capital's premier entertain-

m i x i n g a n d e d i t i n g facility. O v e r t h e last f e y e a r s , U n i o n f u n d i n g lovely n e

h a s e n a b l e d u s t o b u y pretty m u c h all t h e kit t h a t ' s n e e d e d t o k n o c k u p t o p

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productions. We are n o

really l e q u i p p e d to m a k e

us o n t h e t o p f l o o r o f t h e u n i o n .

machines, a n d 2 o broadcast cameras.

Sound

mixer, h e n o u g h

intro-

duced the night, a c c o m p a n i e d by his

After all o f m y m o a n i n g o v e r t h e last f e

for l u n c h t i m e o p e n ings, . / 0 1 e still p u s h -

a r t i c l e s , it s t i m e t o

ing. Next u p , as the U n i o n has received so ||||

m a n y letters o f c o m -

m i n a t e d at t h e e n d o f h i s a c t h a

I irst o f all, h e r e ' s

s t u d e n t h e c k l e t h a t left t h e c o m e d i a n

a list o f d i s c o u n t s that

don

admitting defeat.

e c a n g e t in H i g h

s c h e m e (please keep

After t h e interval, D a n Evans c a m e

Street

plaint a b o u t t h e Lon -

Kensington

t h e m c o m i n g ) , that if

( n o t e o n l y HSK) h

very short set f r o m a n u p a n d c o m i n g

a n ICU c a r d . T h e r e a r e still t e n s o f c o m -

the U n i o n reception,

p a n i e s I h a v e t o p h o n e in o r d e r t o g e t

a n d t h e n s e n d t h e m b y r e c o r d e d delivery

a u t h o r i s a t i o n f r o m a b o v e , but h e r e g o e s :

o n c e a R S S k (thanks t o A n d r e S o u t h e r n

comedian

Phil

Nicol

(not the

Phil

o h e a d l i n e d in N o v e m b e r ) . he did have quite a f e

Nichol

les s u c h as " N i c e

Although

Transport

back, larger t h a n life, to i n t r o d u c e a

usual b o m b a r d m e n t o f 'original' hecknose!" and "Nice

T e l : ( 0 1 7 1 > ? @ A B CD 4

m i c r o p h o n e s to

report b a c k o n move- | i |

a n o t h e r s e r i e s o f a c t s f r o m t h e Carls-

Mark H o m e

stolc@lcac.uk

r e c o r d a n y t h i n g really . S i g n i f i c a n t

and the Union.

Ents m a n a g e r

Email:

is b a s e d a r o u n d a 16 c h a n n e l

f i n i s h s o m e o f t h e m for h i m . This cul-

E $ .

esting 9 &$ e projects.

W e also have professional quality tape

night of the

b e r g Ice C o m e d y

people

y o u ' v e g o t a n Idea, d r o p u s a lin e o r f i n d

Bust-A-Gut c o m e d y

drunken students l o o k i n g 9 $ &$ d to

e need

s o u r c e professional digital vision mixer,

m e n t s in t h e C o l l e g e

potentially

live o r

n i c a l . In p a r t i c u l a r ,

3 d like t o $ k o n s o m e really inter-

a n d a s e r i o u s l y fast P C e d i t i n g s y s t e m .

ously,- t h e y e v e n h a d t h e c o u r t e s y t o

to capacity, t e e m i n g h

W e ' r e ) *+ ) , s r e s p o n s i v e t o p e o p l e ' s : ;< = s o n t s t o i c s h o u l d b e d o i n g . If

i n t h e first s filled

p e o p l e 3 d like t o d o s o m e t h i n g t e c h -

O u r s y s t e m is b a s e d r o u n d a f o u r

r i d a y 22 J a n u a r y s a

n e year. As usual d B ' s

7 8 d love to hear f r o m you.

A l t e r n a t i v e l y , t h e r e a r e ) *+ ) , s j o b s f o r

Oliver and Greg

a presenter

T h e m o s t e x c i t i n g f u t u r e p r o j e c t is

that c r o p s u p .

programmes,

e r a $ , p r o d u c i n g a p r o g r a m m e , or as

p o s s i b l y in

some departmental c o m m o n rooms. e

putting together

y o u h a n d t h e m into

e l c h e c k t h e m

1 0 % o f f at: HiTek, T o p G u n , L o n - for that idea). S o n o they'll reject y o u

s h i r t ! " ; h e t h e n + F Gt o n t o

present

g o o d jokes, he did not have the time

d o n : D a l l a s P i z z a a n d Pasta (if over ÂŁ10 a

n days, n o t k e e p y o u r p o u n d a n d

Dan

for the

head),

there'll b e n o c h a n c e o f y o u r a p p l i c a t i o n

Evans as t h e c o m p e r e

A s h any g o o d c o m p e r e ,

evening.

Hn over the a u d i e n c e

completely

- o n e t o l o o k o u t f o r in t h e f u t u r e .

he b e g a n h s o m e a u d i e n c e partic-

Next up

s the h e a d l i n e act o f

Kensington

Leather,

Market

Leather, Blazer, J e a n s West, S O N A K e n s i n g t o n , Blacks, Y H A A d v e n t u r e S h o p , 1 hr

b e i n g lost o f s t o l e n . T h e C o l l e g e is i n t r o d u c i n g a f o r m a l

i p a t i o n . A l t h o u g h a s t a n d a r d t a c t i c it

the night, S i m o n Evans.

+ F Gt ( n v e r y , a i d e d b y h i s

did not disappoint anyone.

original

treated to a s u p e r b display o f intelli-

d i o L M > % o f f cuts) a n d Hair at Fairy (ÂŁ1 o f f

p e n i n g t o a n y c o m p l a i n t s y o u m a y have

gent a n d sarcastic d e a d p a n

a cut a n d 1 0 % o f f a n y t h i n g else).

a b o u t t h e C o l l e g e a n d g i v e different lev-

usage

of the

microphone

stand as a ' c l a p o - i n d u c e r ' . When

Dan Antopolski

the stage, t h e a u d i e n c e

mounted

s in a v e r y

H e certainly

P h o t o s , Footlights ( F o o d only).

W e . / 1e humour

Plus: T u m b l e r s L C> % off f o o d ) ; Th e Stu-

s excellently c o m p o s e d a n d

This

TUV l a l l o y o u t o m o n i t o r t is h a p -

S e c o n d l y , t h e r e ' s a l s o g o o d NO P s o n

els at - h t h e y c a n b e settled, r a n g i n g

t h e library front, a l t h o u g h n o t for & .

f r o m a C o l l e g e Tutor t o pos s ibl y a G o v e r nor o f t h e C o l l e g e Council.

t h a t left t h e a u d i e n c e at h i s m e r c y . H i s act

c o m p l a i n t s p r o c e d u r e for s t u d e n t s .

of mind.

u n u s u a l l y involved virtually n o &$ -

Next year t h e C o l l e g e is g o i n g t o h a v e a n

He h a d t h e e l e m e n t s n e e d e d to m a k e

i n g . O b s e r v a t i o n a l c o m e d y at its b e s t !

e x p e r i m e n t a l y e a r o f o p e n i n g t h e library

I h o p e that this g i v e s y o u a bit m o r e

o n S u n d a y s until 6 p m ; let's h o p e that it

c o n f i d e n c e that t h e C o l l e g e a n d t h e U n i o n

proves to b e t h e success

are $ ! g t o try a n d m a k e y o u r life at

good, light-hearted frame a very g o o d c o m e d i a n

but unfortu-

nately h e h a d o n l y just a p p e a r e d o n

A truly e n j o y a b l e e v e n i n g by all, a n d

s h a d

e l o o k 9 $ & $ d to N e i l

e k n o it l

t e l e v i s i o n 2 o s b e f o r e h t h e

A n t h o n y a n d Tony Burgess

same routine.

at t h e n e x t c o m e d y n i g h t , o n I F e b -

later t h a n 9 p m o n ( & Q . T h e H e a l t h

ruary.

C e n t r e is p r o b a b l y g o i n g t o o p e n later; as

the a u d i e n c e

Not only had most of heard

his jokes

previ-

appearing

be.

T h e y a r e a l s o l o o k i n g into o p e n i n g

Imperial that little bit easier.

If y o u have

any other p r o b l e m s email as ever .

Student Managers

W A N T E D! s

f e k s y f t l n W

e f A o r f t s t t n f u d o u n

YZ[\ ]^ X

One/

qaeit

for

`ab cdaead fghidjkea _ _

t l m s o n l y last y e a r t h a t I l o s t m y

e h a n d c u f f e d to t h e b e d . G o n e

i n n o c e n c e . B e f o r e t h a t d a y , I'd o n l y

e t h e days o f e y e i n g u p t h e talent

it v i a n o p q r s t s d

con-

in t h e l o c a l bar, o n l y t o b e left n p h y o u r

v e r s a t i o n s that I s t r a i n e d t o h e a r , c a t c h -

p i c k o f t h e s l o b b e r i n g d r u n k s still s t a n d -

heard about

ing only a f el disjointed n u tv s before

i n g at c l o s i n g t i m e . W h e n y o u l o g g e d

being d e a f e n e d by the explosive gig-

o n y o u c o u l d b e sure of a love m a t c h .

g l e s that e n s u e d . F r o m w xy t I h a d g a t h -

M y e y e s e o p e n e d . I k n e n t h a t it

e r e d , it l m s a p h e n o m e n o n t h a t z { | t

n u d only b e a matter of time before

on behind closed

I s u c c u m b e d to t h e joys o f cybersex.

d o o r s , In

'private

r o o m s ' in t h e U S , b u t it I l m s first c o r r u p t e d by

Rikki

Lake.

most

decide

students

sample

n} s also nervous. Would I d o it right? W o u l d

get plug-in

l ms

inexperience

around the time of day

~ n

curious, I

Although

you could even

n } s s p r e a d i n g fast...

attachments"

the

~ ? A n d

w xy t n u d m y l o v e r d o } stn}tvq?

Would

steal m y cybercherry a n d

n p v e range o f d a y t i m e talk q o u n s avail-

then

a b l e o n t e l e v i s i o n (strictly f o r e d u c a -

c o n f u s e d ? First I a s k e d m y f r i e n d s f o r

tional purposes, obviously). A s I flicked

advice.

through the channels,

cybervirgins, but s o m e told m e stories

I caught

that

l o g off, leaving m e a l o n e a n d

Most

them

also

familiar, c o m f o r t i n g m a n t r a " G o Rikki!

involving a 'friend of a friend' l o h a d

G o Rikki!" a n d settled v u n n n p h m y

t r i e d it. A c c o r d i n g t o o n e o f m y m o r e

o n t h e N a k e d Truth chat r o o m . C o u l d

c u p p a for half a n hour o f d y s f u n c t i o n a l

open-minded friends, y o u could even

t h i s b e it? H a d I f o u n d a c y b e r s e x p l a y -

f a m i l y life. B u t t o d a y t h e r e e n o

get plug-in a t t a c h m e n t s that c o u l d b e

ground?

alcoholic mothers, no teenage

remotely activated via your

Lovebunny.

fathers

partner's

I entered

. ns l a lady h a s h e r secrets

you un.

my pseudonym -

A f t e r it f i n i s h e d , h e k i n d l y o f f e r e d

Keen but not t o o sleazy,

me a cigarette. As l e puffed y l e

a n d n o girl g a n g m e m b e r s . T o d a y , Rikki

k e y b o a r d . I d e c i d e d to give this a miss

t h a t ' d d o . After e x c h a n g i n g small talk

c h a t t e d a b o u t o u r lives. M i c h a e l l ms a

finally e x p o s e d t h e s e c r e t t h a t h a d c a p -

as it m a y c a u s e a n u n n e c e s s a r y d i s t u r -

np h the group, I professed my inno-

tall, d a r k - h a i r e d g o l f p r o f e s s i o n a l . A n d

c e n c e , a n d a s k e d for s o m e direction ,

t h i s l m s o n l y t h e s e c o n d t i m e that h e ' d

tivated m e for s o l o n g - t h e n u t d o f

bance

in t h e c o m p u t e r

r o o m . After

cybersex. M y d a y s o f i n n o c e n c e e

s o f d e l i b e r a t i o n , I l m s finally

over.

r e a d y t o e x p e r i e n c e m y First T i m e .

" H o n c a n I enter a private

room?"

"Click o n the V i en Personal

had cybersex. S o m e h o n

I n}q t

sure

The s h o n featured guests l o h a d

W h a t I h a d n ' t r e a l i s e d l m s that, f o r

s a g e s i c o n at t h e t o p o f t h e s c r e e n t o

e reality b e g a n a n d f a n t a s y e n d e d . ~ n h e a s k e d m e if I e v e r v i s It l m s

scanned t h e internet l o o k i n g for love,

t h e first t i m e r , c y b e r s e x is s u r p r i s i n g l y

access t h e r o o m . T h e n type their n a m e ,

ited t h e States that t h e t e r m 'desperate

r o m a n c e or just a q u i c k thrill. Each o n e

difficult t o f i n d . A c c o r d i n g t o Rikki

u u n s d by a c o l o n in

had

their

e v e r y o n e l m s at it, s o e e t h e y

order to s e n d a

dreams a n d stolen y into a private

all h i d i n g ? A f t e r 2 h o u r s o f s e a r c h i n g I

message," c a m e a helpful

r o o m in o r d e r t o c o n s u m m a t e

their

felt a b o u t a s s e x y a s a u s e d t o i l e t b r u s h .

reply.

romances

All I'd f o u n d l m s a rather u n s a v o u r y site

As s o o n as m y f i n g e r

in t h e o f f i c e a n d

e n t i t l e d . " h a r d c o r e g r a n n i e s " ( m i n e is

t o u c h e d t h e m o u s e a bar-

currently t u r n i n g in h e r grave) a n d a n

rage o f m e s s a g e s

found

the cybermate

link. T h i s h a d l e d t o s t e a m y - stolen m o m e n t s sleepless

nights filled np h

passion.

Mes-

sad social misfit' c a m e to

private

s finally

mind. Bidding him goodbye , h e r e p l i e d that h e

ready to

hoped l e nu d

meet

a g a i n a n d that next time

experience my

I didn't

have

c y b e r s e x n p h h i m if I d i d -

filled

First Time."

n't f e e l l i k e it, l e c o u l d

Each partner h a d laid

on-line

the frame, s o m e

bare their m o s t secret

d a t i n g

suggestive

of fantasies, safe

service.

vun tp ot disgusting. Scrolling v u n -

t h e i m p r e s s i o n t h a t if I d i d talk t o h i m

The

n}tvq,

again then

the

un sv e

there

nu d

that

chance o f their

part-

ner n i p p i n g o u t to Tescos

. ~

latter

nu v t

be no

them

n} sd

o n e by phone

h a v e

n u m b e r f o r r a t h e r m o r e t h a n s m a l l talk - n o l m . H o t R o d 4 u ' s

spelling l ms

I got

h e m a y a s k m e to marry

him. A f t e r m y n e l e x p e r i e n c e I felt a little

disappointed.

After

all

Rikki's

a p p a l l i n g (as a f r i e n d u s i n g t h e c o m -

p r o m i s e s I l m s left n u v s t p g w xy t all

mem-

puter next to m c c o m m e n t e d " h e p r o b -

t h e f u s s l m s a b o u t . W h e n it c o m e s t o

b e r in L o n d o n h a d -

ably can't type very ns l u s i n g only his

sex, in reality m e n m a y f u m b l e

left

y o u r b r a s t r a p a n d fart in b e d , b u t at

n op q t

only

if t h e

n't l o o k e d a s if h i s :

I considered

one...BlackStud

just talk. S o m e h o n

some

been bad

they

merely

and

ace had s o m e h o n collided

ff|gj|h. b

Ihis distasteful

image

np h

s e r v e d t o c r o s s h i m o f f t h e list i m m e -

l e a s t y o u k n o n o n e t h i n g - w xy t y o u

d i a t e l y . A l o n g n p h h i m z { |t

anyone

s e e is w xy t y o u g e t . In t h e n u t d o f

speeding

n o o m e n t i o n e d t h e i r ' b i g stick' n p o p n

cyberspac e fantasy, there m a y be n o

t u b e train.

t h e first c o u p l e o f s e n t e n c e s .

Only a

flaccid

spotty y o u n g teen ag er n u d

exhibit

encounters,

np h

v\as in s o f t f o c u s .

I l m s jus! a b o u t to give u p .

hand").

~ n I s t u m b l e d

s u c h a l a c k o f f o r e p l a y . Finally I l m s left

moments

all t o o

but y o u m a y ns l

brief be

n t p o p g in ecstasy np h a n u st n s p o t

n p h M i c h a e l . C o n f e s s i n g to h i m that

b r i c k l a y e r . S o d i d t h i s e x p e r i e n c e finally

t h i s l m s m y first t i m e , h e p r o m i s e d t o

put a n e n d t o m y o b s e s s i o n np h cyber-

be gentle np h

sex? V i r t u a l l y .

m c . A s f o r w xy t f o l -

CENTENARY LECTURE SERIES: MAKING PIGS FLY Great Engineering Achievements of the Last 100 Years

ENGINEERING IN NATURE d

R o

Author,

Affairs d Intellectual and Funny, too.

y 8

T H E MOST S U C C E S S F U L E V E N T AT IMPERIAL A S P E C T A C U L A R NIGHT OF FOOD , SONG & DANCE

u I M P L R I A L O O L L L G L UNION

Reviews

g :

here are certain g e n r e s for ¡ ¢ £ ¤ h

h o o d , t h e story t h e n splits in « ¡¨ , first f ol -

British c i n e m a is ¥ ¦ § ¨ ¡ § ¦ © :

° ¨ ¡ £ § g H i l a r y ' s life, a n d t h e n J a c k i e ' s ,

t u m e drama,- ª£ « « ¦ ¥ ¬ ¡ ¦ ¦ t

cos-

comedy;

fair e n o u g h , it's h a r d l y a n o r i g i n a l i d e a ,

hard-hiting d r a m a ; e v e n r o m a n t i c c o m -

b u t h e r e it's briliantly p l a y e d o u t , as t h e

e d y . Yet d e s p i t e b e i n g a c c l a i m e d as o n e

« ¡ o sisters lives drift apart a n d t h e n s u d -

of t h e finest

British

d e c a d e , Hilary and Jackie

movies

of the

contains none

o f t h e s e e l e m e n t s . O r all o f t h e m - let m e explain. In its s i m p l e s t s e n s e , it's a b i o p i c o f l e g e n d a r y cellist J a c q u e l i n e D u Pre (Watson), ® o r o s e t o f a m e in sixties L o n d o n , b e c o m i n g the most f a m o u s

classical

d e n l y b e c o m e o n e o n c e a g a i n , ¡£« h their r e l a t i o n s h i p e b b i n g a n d ³ ° ¨ ¡ £ § g like t h e s e a . It h a s t o b e a s i g n o f q u a l i t y ´ µ¶ n y o u s e e a s c e n e r e p e a t e d ¡ £ « ¢ £ n « ¡ ¦ §« y m i n u t e s , y e t a r c h a p p y f o r that repitition. Put t o g e t h e r ¡ £ « h s o m e

s u r p r i s i n g l y up-beat p e r f o r m a n c e

m u s i c i a n o f h e r d a y . But far m o r e i m p o r tantly, it's t h e story o f h e r r e l a t i o n s h i p

terrific act-

i n g f r o m t h e cast o f · § ¸ § ¨ ¡ § s (plus a from

C h a r l e s D a n c e ) , t h i s m a k e s f o r a brilliant movie.

A n d then

the music

begins.

¡£« h h e r sister Hilary (Griffiths), a n d ® ¯ ,

J a c q u e l i n e D u Pre's t r a d e m a r k

d e s p i t e a l m o s t i d e n t i c a l c h i l d h o o d s , their

Elgar's P i a n o C o n c e r t o , is u s e d t o per-

lives t a k e a l m o s t d i a m e t r i c a l l y o p p o s e d

fection, sparingly reserved

•

º»¼ l s e n d a chill © ¨ ¡ n y o u r s p i n e . ½ ¾¿ -

is t h e h i g h l y c o m p e t i t i v e n a t u r e o f t h e i r relationship ¡¢ £¤ h spurs Jackie o n t o

Jacqueline

e r f u l , e m o t i o n a l a n d heartfelt, Hilary and

g r e a t n e s s ¡¢£° ¬ t Hilary l e a d s a ' n o r m a l '

Jackie r e v o l v i n g a r o u n d t h e sisters

At t h e s a m e

t i m e , ¢ ¨ ¡ ¦ ± ¦ ¥ , it's

for ¹ o or

t h r e e k e y m o m e n t s ´ µ¶ n its ¬ ¡ ¦ ° ° £§ g roll

c o u r s e s . B o t h a r e m u s i c a l l y g i f t e d , b u t it

life.

piece,

marriage

a n d J a c k i e ' s o b s e s s i o n ¡ £« h s e x .

f u n n y - a s b o t h Hilary a n d J a c k i e b a t t l e

D e s p i t e t h e quality o f t h e story, ¢ ¨ ¡ -

¡£« h t h e i r p a r e n t s t o e x p l o r e sixties lib-

is ¡ £ « ¢ ¨ · t a d o u b t t h e b e s t British

b i o p i c hardly e v e r s e e n in this c o u n t r y .

m o v i e o f at least t h e last À Á Â ÃÄ e m o n t h s

This t i m e a r o u n d , h e h a s d i t c h e d t h e

- give praise o n c e m o r e to those ¡ ¨ § -

documentary

d e r f u l p e o p l e at C h a n n e l Four f i l m s -

e v e r , it's t h e c o n s t r u c t i o n o f t h e m o v i e

f e e l a n d s u r r e a l style, i n s t e a d f a v o u r i n g

a n d d e s e r v e s e v e r y o u n c e o f p r a i s e that

eration - a n d ¢ ¦ ² ¥« ¡ ¥ ¦ § ¤ ¢ £ § g - as Jackie

that really d e s e r v e s t h e h i g h e s t p r a i s e .

a m o r e a u d i e n c e f r i e n d l y ( a l t h o u g h still

begins to slide « ¨¡²¥© s her tragic e n d .

Director Tucker's only previous directing

non-linear) a p p r o a c h . H a v i n g

A n d there are romantic subplots t o o ,

c r e d i t c a m e ¡ £ « h Saint-Ex, a n a r t h o u s e

t h e sisters t h r o u g h their c o m m u n a l c h i l d -

strange c a m e r a effects,

³¨°°¨¡¦d

it r e c e i v e s . T h e O s c a r s a r e t h e r e f o r t h e

ÅÆÇÇÆÇÈÉÉÉ.

Dave

h g :

hanks

to t h e A m e r i c a n

rollercoaster

that

political

truth. H e tells a b l a c k a u d i e n c e that noo n e ¡ £° l e v e r m a k e t h e i r l i v e s

is t h e C l i n t o n

administration, Ê e s e e m

to b e

better

because they don't give m o n e y to cam-

i n u n d a t e d ¡ £ « h ' c l e v e r ' p o l i t i c a l thrillers

p a i g n f u n d s ; h e g o e s t o all n i g h t parties

Ës a

a n d o p e n l y t a k e s d r u g s ; a n d , a b o v e all,

at t h e m o m e n t . Primary

Colours

thinly v e i l e d c o m m e n t a r y o n A m e r i c a ' s

h e r a ps .

Ì ¥ ¨ ¡ £ § g distrust o f its p o l i t i c i a n s , ¡ ¢£°¬ t Wag

Thanks to s o m e g o o d support from

The Dog o p t e d t o reality in f a v o u r

ÎÏÐÑÒÓÔ o f satire. S o , is Í

t h e likes o f H a l l e Berry, a s t h e i n q u i s i t i v e

from the same

love-interest, a n d O l i v e r Piatt, as Beatty's

stable?

l o n g - s u f f e r i n g a i d e , it a l m o s t ¡ ¨ ¥ ¸ ¬ . But

T h e s i m p l e ² § ¬ ¡ ¦ r is n o . T h e p i t c h

only almost. Ultimately, Í

ÎÏÐÑÒÓÔ

can't

b e h i n d t h e m o v i e rests a l m o s t entirely o n

d e c i d e × ØÙ t k i n d o f m o v i e it ¿ Ú ÛÜ s t o b e

that t e r r i f y i n g p h r a s e ' W a r r e n B e a t t y r a p -

- Beatty clearly ¿ Ú ÛÜ s t o m a k e a poi n t , yet

p i n g ' . It's a truly terrifying c o n c e p t that h e

t h e i n c l u s i o n o f c o m e d y hit-men o n l y

barely m a n a g e s t o pull o f f - b u t n o t ¡ £ « ¢ -

serve t o ¡ ¦ ² ¸ ¦ n

o u t s o m e ¡ ¨ ¥ ¥ Õ £ § g s u g g e s t i o n s that a l a r g e part o f t h e A m e r i c a n

the message.

More-

o v e r , it's a m e s s a g e that a p p l i e s t o a

electorate

f a n t a s y ¡ ¨ ¥ ° d Á ÝÂ Þ e S o u t h C e n t r a l LA

c a n o n l y u n d e r s t a n d h i m if h e r a p s h i s

¡ ¨ · ° d b e p r e p a r e d to accept a US Sen-

c a m p a i g n . C o n s i d e r i n g B e a t t y is a pillar o f t h e U S l i be ra l m o v e m e n t , it's a v e r y

ÏÐ ÍÎ ÑÒÓÔ

¡¨¥¥Õ £§ g attitude. M o r e o v e r ,

isn't r o o t e d in f a s c i n a t i o n ¡ £ « h C l i n t o n s . It's a satire a b o u t t h e e t h o s o f U S politics; the

overriding them-and-us

dynamic

¡¢ £ ¤ h separates t h e politicians from t h e poorer half o f their electorate.

Beatty

ator i n t h e i r m i d s t . If n o t h i n g e l s e , it's

Warren

i m p o s s i b l e t o t a k e a n y i m a g e or m e s s a g e

ß à ß y f r o m t h e f i l m apart f r o m t h e e n d u r ¡¦²¥£§g

s e e m s t o h o n e s t l y b e l i e v e that if o n e

for re-election a n d f a c i n g a n e r v o u s

i n g picture o f W a r r e n Beatty

middle-class p o l i t i c o actually e x p e r i e n c e d

ª ¥ ¦ ² ¸ © ¨ ¡ § . H e s u d d e n l y d e c i d e s that his

b a g g y t r o u s e r s a n d a b e a n i e hat a n d

real life i n t h e s l u m s t h e n all A m e r i c a ' s

life is ¡ ¨ ¥ « ¢ ° ¦ ¬ ¬ , a n d p u t s a c o n t r a c t o u t

r a p p i n g a political address. A surreal

p r o b l e m s ¡ ¨ · ° d b e solved. H o ¬¡¦¦«.

o n h i s ¯ n life. W i t h n o t h i n g left t o live

experience. 1 3

S e n a t o r Ö · ° ¡ ¨ ¥ « h (Beatty) is r u n n i n g

for, h e finally d e c i d e s t o start t e l l i n g t h e

James

1 Reviews & Competition

g :

uck. I d o n ' t h a v e a p r o b l e m ĂĄ Ă˘ ĂŁ h

x n

sentimental movies. I don't have a

p r o b l e m ĂĄ Ă˘ ĂŁ h c r y i n g in t h e c i n e m a

(I f r e q u e n t l y d o ) b u t Ă¤ ĂĽĂŚ t I d o h a v e a p r o b l e m ĂĄ Ă˘ ĂŁ h is a n y m o v i e that tries at every t u r n t o m a k e y o u ball y o u r e y e s

Harrison f o r d , o n a desert island, b e i n g

out

Kleenex.

b r a v e a n d g e t t i n g t h e girl - s u r e l y a ĂĄ Ă˘ Ăł -

P r o b l e m n u m b e r o n e is d e f i n i t e l y

Ă˛ Ăł Ăş ĂĄ Ă¨ ĂŻ . Its a n o b v i o u s , e n t i r e l y p r e -

a n d call

Stepmom

for more

is s u c h a m o v i e .

ning combination?

Sadly,

n o is t h e

the c h o i c e o f director. Chris C o l u m b u s

d i c t a b l e m o v i e , that relies o n a plot that

has c o m e t o f a m e v i a Home

Alone, Mrs

c o u l d h a v e b e e n lifted o u t o f a b o y s

Doubtflre

This is n o t

ĂŽ ĂĄ n adventure.

a n d Nine

Months.

t h e g u y y o u Ă¤ ĂŚ Ă§ t t o p u t at t h e h e l m o f

T h e p l a n e i n ĂĄ Ăˇ Ă˘ Ăť h l o r d is f l y i n g

a depressing ĂĄ Ă¨ Ă¨ ĂŠ Ă˘ e ĂĄ Ă˘ ĂŁ h hardly a laugh

A n n e H e c h e ( f a m e d for her relationship

in sight. Thus, ĂŞ ĂŤ ĂŹ Ă e left ĂĄ Ă˘ ĂŁ h a n irritating muddle o f a movie, plus s o m e

really,

ĂĄ Ă˘ĂŁ h Ellen D e G e n r e s m o r e than h e r Old

m o v i e c a r e e r ) a c r o s s t h e S o u t h S e a s is

really a n n o y i n g k i d s .

hit b y l i g h t n i n g , t h e y c r a s h l a n d , t h e y a r g u e , t h e y f i g h t pirates, t h e y e s c a p e ,

O n t h e other h a n d , t h e biggest plus c o m e s i n t h e f o r m o f t h e cast. R o b e r t s a n d S a r a n d o n a r e in t y p i c a l l y g o o d f o r m

insufficient. It's a n i n c r e d i b l y c h e e s y tale, as their

t h e y fall in l o v e .

c o m p l e t e l y o u t o f his d e p t h .

a t t e m p t i n g t o r e c r e a t e H a n S o l o - but

Stepmom

(and a r e b o t h hotly t i p p e d f o r O s c a r

c o m b i n e d m a t e r n a l instincts f o r c e t h e

nomination), b o t h p r o d u c i n g their best

ĂŁ ĂĄ o ĂĄ ĂŽ Ăą Ă¨ n t o g e t o n , d e s p i t e t h e fact

p u r p o s e - t o Ăş Ăˇ ĂŽ ĂĄ Ăť Ă˛ Ăş e t h e t a l e n t s o f its

ĂĄ ĂŽĂŻ k for s o m e t i m e . R o b e r t s d o e s ĂĄ Ă¨ Ă° l t o

that t h e y h a t e e a c h o t h e r a n d h a v e d i a -

ĂŁ ĂĄ o stars. Sadly, just b e c a u s e it c o n t a i n s

ĂĄĂ˘ n sympathy in t h e role o f 'the other

m e t r i c a l l y o p p o s e d o u t l o o k s o n life. This

ĂŁ ĂĄ o g o o d p e r f o r m a n c e s , that d o e s n ' t

ĂĄ ĂŽ Ăą Ă˛ Ăł ' in Ed H a r r i s ' life, Ă´ Ăľ o s t r u g g l e s

c o n f l i c t is d e e p e n e d ĂĄ Ăˇ Ă¨ n

to l o o k after h i s k i d s . Ăś Ă¨ Ă˛ Ăł ĂĄ Ăˇ Ă˘ Ă° e S a r a n -

s u d d e n l y d i s c o v e r s that s h e h a s c a n c e r ,

Unless you're g o i n g to the c i n e m a ĂĄĂ˘ĂŁh

d o n f i n d s t h e e n t i r e a u d i e n c e r o o t i n g for

a n d (of course) has to give u p the chil-

y o u r m u m - in ĂĄ Ăˇ Ă˘ Ăť h c a s e t a k e

her as s h e g i v e s u p h e r c h i l d r e n , d e s p i t e

d r e n s o that t h e y c a n g e t u s e d t o their

boxe s of tissues.

regarding Roberts' efforts as appalingly

n e ĂĄ Ăą ĂŽ ĂŁ Ăˇ Ă¨ ĂŻ Ă¸ Ă¸ Ă¸ Ă¸ Ăš ĂŽ Ăą Ă¨ ĂĄ Ăˇ Ă¨ ĂŻ e in this pitiful

Sarandon

Ă˛ĂĄĂł,

tale is Harris, in u n f a m i l i a r territory a n d

serves only o n e useful

t o r d s e e m s to b e

m o v e d t o t h e S o u t h Pacific ĂŁĂĄ Ă¨ Ăł ĂŁ y years o n it just d o e s n ' t ĂĄ ĂŽ ĂŻ .

m e a n it's ĂĄ ĂŽ ĂŻ ĂŁ h s e e i n g . It's n o t - s o d o n ' t .

five

Dave

At last, ĂĄ Ă˘ ĂŁ h t h e s u c c e s s o f J a c k i e C h a n in Rush Hour and Jet Li in Lethal

Weapon

Lour, t h e stars o f H o n g K o n g c i n e m a

Win cinema tickets

h the

s e e m t o h a v e m a d e their mark o n Hol-

ment

. Sadly, Ăˇ ĂŽ ĂĄ Ă¨ Ă¨ ĂŻ ,

The Replace-

Killers h a s n ' t h a d t h e s a m e k i n d o f

e f f e c t o n t h e c a r e e r o f C h o ĂĄ Yun-Fat. That's hardly a n injustice, t h o u g h , as this m o v i e isn't Ă˛ Ăł Ăż ĂĄ Ăˇ Ă¨ ĂŻ e n e a r t h e u s u ally h i g h s t a n d a r d s o f t h e d i m i n u t i v e star. T h e g u n p l a y is g o o d a n d t h e r e a r e some

brilliantly over-the-top

action

s e q u e n c e s , b u t t h e c h o r e o g r a p h y isn't u p t o s c r a t c h , l e a v i n g t h e m o v i e ĂĄ Ă˘ ĂŁĂˇ ĂŽ t t h e c r u c i a l Ă´

N This ĂĄ Ă¨ Ă¨ k t h o s e l o v e l y p e o p l e at t h e

T o m Wilkinson, Imelda Staunton, Martin

O d e o n Kensington give y o u t h e c h a n c e

Clunes and Simon CalloĂĄ - produce a

to Ăź Ă˝ n tickets t o c o s t u m e

brilliant e n s e m b l e p e r f o r m a n c e .

s m a s h Shakespeare

Ăž

comedy

in Love.

ĂĄ Ăż Ăł Ă¨ ĂŁ h PaltroĂĄ has already Ă´

G o l d e n G l o b e for her acclaimed

per-

formance (once again her

surprisingly

demonstrating

believable

English

a c c e n t ) , a n d is a h o t l y t i p p e d f a v o u r i t e for t h e O s c a r s . S h e p l a y s V i o l a , Shakespeare's

very

Ă´ n Juliet,

Lost in Space

plus a cop y o f the C D s o u n d -

s p i d e r s o n b o a r d t h e m y s t e r y space-sta-

in Love ĂĄ ĂŻ Ă˘ ĂŁ Ă˘ Ăł g p a p e r

t i o n is b r e a t h t a k i n g l y g o o d , s p l a t t e r i n g

track, Shakespeare

a s p e c i a l tie-in c o p y

and

o f Shake-

state-of-the-art e f f e c t s l i b e r a l l y a c r o s s

t h e s c r e e n . S e c o n d l y , M a t t L e Blanc's

s p e a r e ' s s o n n e t s , t o r a c h a n c e toĂ´

simply Ă˛ĂłĂşĂĄĂ¨r the ĂŽĂ°Ă°ĂŽĂĄĂ˘Ăłg question:

in Space

r r

n't m a k e a n y s e n s e . At all. It o n l y serves If y o u

ĂłĂŽĂĄ,

Ă˛ Ă°ĂŁĂŻ ĂŽĂĄ ,

isn't ĂĄ ĂŽ ĂŻ ĂŁ h r e n t i n g ĂŁ ĂĄ Ă˘ Ăť e for

o n e ( s i m p l e ) r e a s o n - t h e p l o t . It d o e s -

his s p i r a l i n g d e p r e s s i o n a n d i n s p i r e s

Alongside

p e r f o r m a n c e is h i l a r i o u s - it's basically J o e y in s p a c e . O n t h e o t h e r h a n d , Lost

ĂĄĂŽĂŻ .

is ĂĄ ĂŽ ĂŻ ĂŁ h r e n t i n g f o r Ă´ o

r e a s o n s . Firstly, t h e f i g h t ĂĄ Ă˘ ĂŁ h t h e s p a c e

drags the struggling ĂŠĂ°Ă˛ĂżĂĄĂŻĂ˘ Ăˇt out o f him t o ĂĄĂŻĂ˘ĂŁe s o m e o f his most f a m o u s

W e h a v e f i v e pairs o f t i c k e t s t o g i v e

Will

Ă´ ' factor.

then email your Ă˛ĂłĂşĂĄĂ¨ĂŻs before

Wednes-

to link t h e effects s h o t s

i n all )

t o g e t h e r - a n d it e v e n d o e s that b a d l y .

Joseph fiennes

d a y e v e n i n g . T h e first f i v e n a m e s o u t o f

Basically, it's a k i d d i e s m o v i e t h r o u g h

is in h i s e l e m e n t a s t h e f o p p i s h b a r d ,

t h e v i r t u a l hat ĂĄ Ă˘Ă° l b e ĂĄ Ă˘ Ăł Ă˘ Ăł g t h e i r Ă´ y

a n d t h r o u g h . O n e t o rent o n a rainy S u n -

a n d a n a m a z i n g s u p p o r t cast - i n c l u d i n g

to t h e s i x t e e n t h century for a b s o l u t e l y

day a f t e r n o o n .

Judi D e n c h , G e o f f r e y R u s h , B e n Afleck,

no charge.

Dave

Albums

S i n g l e s

t h e s e c i D n i | i : | i l | | l b f Celebrity

Skin

continues the trend of f - t d l i l l B l | g nut p o p s o n g s Ih< n e

first

listen,

thought

o p e n i n g track Easy

another

f u n k y R o l l i n g S t o n e s - e s q u e riff o n John

h their

their m o s t recent s i n g l e . T h e

generic indie band,

456789

to t h e

lemfsUbarthiSIs

really

l d o n e . Ihe

s o n g has a definite S m a s h i n g

" + t

k i n s l e e l to II,

Pump-

h isn't that s u r p r i s i n g

i n g t o t h e a l b u m , s i t t i n g in semi-dark-

i n s e c u r i t y . This c a n m a k e t h e lyrics v e r y

n e s s a n d f e e l i n g in a p e n s i v e

e n d e a r i n g a n d o f t e n m a k e s a fairly d u l l s o n g into a n interesting o n e s u c h as

S l on o l t h e H o l e of o l d a n d a g o o d

t h e track Love Letters

c o v e r of D y l a n ' s // s All Over

they started to g r o

late n i g h t s l i s t e n -

mood,

o n m e . They use a

s u b t l e b l e n d o f h a r m o n i e s that

y o u r m u s i c a l g-spot

caress

h a gently prob-

ing finger, arousing m elodi c

g e n e r a l t o n e o f t h e a l b u m is r e f l e c t i v e

h tinges of jealousy, neuroticism a n d

", + h

focuses o n

nuances

D o n ' t t h i n k that it's all d o o m a n d gloom, though. The shuffling groove of

rals.

t h e p e r c u s s i o n s t o p s it all g e t t i n g t o o

here i t ' s a remix

o y e a r s in t h e m a k i n g . The

World...

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s quite a resem-

blance to The Breeders a n d M y Bloody

Valentine, Googe

once

+ m

bas s is t

: ;<=#

still

and there's

> ?@ > A s

y o u interested.

Blue.

put The

Six

.i. only is t h e r e just o n e t r a c k p r o v i d p :

N OP t

sa\

M l h o u g h it's h a r d to

h a s b e e n d o n e to it as I've

neVSf'beardilTte.original version, the s o n g m a k e s a r e a s o n a b l e s t a b at b e i n g

I d o n ' t t h i n k t h e r e ' s e n o u g h h e r e to

BC12DE1FG13

World...

s o u n d fresh t h o u g h , mainly thanks to

'outstanding' category but

t h e i r u s e o f aptl y p l a c e d s a m p l e s

h a v e style a n d e l e g a n c e , as

", + h

a big,

d e e p bass-line r o u n d t h e c o r n e r t o k e e p

Debbie

played. The songs

Baby

a broken relationship.

a n d a b s o r b i n g r h y t h m s in y o u r t e m p o -

Motion

into t h e

y <.

l as e l o -

d r e a m y , bi it t h e \ e. als

II get o n m v

n e r v e s , I h e b a n d lust d o e s n ' t s e e m t o hi suited lo

: Q ;<= t stuff H

a n d i h e muslf d o n ' t

J KL n

the vocals

k togethet

just

l e n d a larger perspectiv e to t h e tunes.

q u e n c e . It's d e f i n i t e l y

T h i s is d u e t o t h e i n f l u e n c e o f ex-Stere-

effort t o h a v e a listen a n d I k n o

olab keyboardist, Katharine Gifford,

get b o r e d o f this a l b u m for a l o n g t i m e .

t h i n g fails apart, t h e b a n d h a v e d o n e

better things.

$ -o

h a s c e r t a i n l y h a d a lot o f e x p e r i e n c e in

h making an

the old sampling game.

those

the musii

+Ry

Tom

. + e has a g o o d $ n o / o songs sound sim-

T h e a l b u m as a r a n g e o f styles ilar-

h a g r e a t m i x o f d i f f e r e n t g u i t ar

textures, f r o m the ra

stutter o f t h e

E ,

ain,

Steam

fourth f

and

Speed

album

from

is t h e Ne

Z e a l a n d ' s T h e M u t t o n Birds a n d

to b e f r a n k it's a d u l l affair. It is c e r t a i n -

t i o n e d a l r e a d y ; it's t h e L m m e r d a l e

m u s i c ; it's a k i n t o a n a f t e r n o o n s p e n t in the c o m p a n y of William

Hague.

One

s o n g , The Falls, m a n a g e s t o e s c a p e t h e

ly n o t a s o f f e n s i v e l y d u l l as, say, R o b b i e

mire, being almost sentient. The others

Williams, M-People or The f i g h t h o u s e

c o m e a n d g o like Italian G o v e r n m e n t s .

f a m i l y - it's just p l a i n d u l l . T h e m u s o -

K e e p i n g a track o f

friendly a m o n g s t

AOR/MOR

radio o f us

;

l r e j o i c e in its

American

College

l r e v e l in its o r d i n a r i n e s s . T h o s e

$ -o

c o n s i d e r C a p i t a l , Heart a n d

Virgin to be the d o y e n o f p o p music broadcasting

l a d o r e t h e impassivity,-

", + h

s o n g is p l a y i n g

is n i g h o n i m p o s s i b l e - t h e o n l y r e m i n d e r o f their p r e s e n c e is t h e c o n s t a n t t e d i u m .

If y o u r g o a l s a r e a v e r a g e a n d y o u r yearnings

=# < + d

in t h e o r d i n a r y t h e n

this is t h e a l b u m f o r y o u .

Chris

a n d this s e e m s to i n c l u d e almost every-

$ -o HZs

one

in t h e s a m e

myself. e

image r e a f l f l f g

J KL n y o u c o n s i d e r thafh B!|lv C c i c g ^ n = " M . "# * v d the s i n g l e is b a c k e d h =#.<"<H s t o b e almost a reprise o f + ", + h recalls t h e a g g r e s Maiibu (Drag),

spritely guitars a n d m e l a n c h o l i c f e m a l e

v o c a l s . But after a f e

0123

I just

Way

t h e s i g n o t m o n e v .ill ovet it - t h e p r o b

You and I k n o We kno

[ \] ^ _ s

lab as d

different, t h o u g h .

g o t it a n d N OP t h a s n ' t .

g u

It's s o m e t h i n g that c a n ' t b e q u a n t i f i e d a n d q u a l i f i c a t i o n is a l m o s t as h a r d . It isn't t a u g h t o r learnt, it's i n t u i t i v e . T h e p r o b l e m is that t h e r e d o n ' t s e e m t o b e

t d e <

m a n y o f us that p o s s e s s this ability t o discriminate

N OP t

;<# <<

[ \] ^ _ s

g o t it a n d

h a s n ' t , t o r e v e r y tlvis t h e r e a r e a

d o z e n Cliff R i c h a r d s ; f o r e v e r y i n s p i r a t i o n a l chart hit t h e r e a r e a d o z e n that a r e limp, pallid a n d

: H"

Y+t

i g e

offensively

p o o r . I'm n o t s a y i n g this a l b u m is o n e o f t h e latter, it's just dull, a s I m a y h a v e m e n -

STUVWXW

011

makes a connection

v o c a l s c o m e In a n d e v e n

7 Singles

Albums

n ,

titles f r o m

affairs

ba c o c o u l d

years

Logical progression

t h e listener is h lo e n in, a n d t h e beats g et

a d m i t t e d l y I've n e v e r b e e n a f a n o f M C s

t h e last

p r o g r e s s i v e l y h a r d e r a n d faster, m o v i n g

banging o n about h o

`a o

h e first

have

been

couple o f

heavy,

The vocals though, b e c o m e a minor

Ferris B u e l l e r s a m p l e ? ) a n d It a

efg h

irritation

f o r g e t that s u b l i m i n a l

ds efgh

s c a n t d e v i a t i o n f r o m a very

a c y a e a b s o l u t e l y m u s t lise i q k d p r e f e r it vastly if t h e y b l o o d y e x k l s h u t u p a n d let m e .

s m a l l r e p e r t o i r e o f c o n t e n t a n d styles. For

s o m e o p t i m i s m that I s n a f f l e d M r B's lat-

me, M C Conrad has an

est s t u d i o o f f e r i n g .

oepql

lot t o s a y

a b o u t n o t h i n g . T h e quality o f t h e music

c o m e s at y o u , a n d b l o o d y g o o d it is t o o ;

itself, g l i d i n g g e n t l y y e t d e c i s i v e l y f r o m

a rare i n s t a n c e i n t h e c r e a t i v e l y s a t u -

v o c a l style, k e e p i n g t h e t r a d e m a r k d r u m

track t o track, m o o d t o m o o d , d o e s m o r e

rated field o f d r u m a n d bass. A g a i n , t h e

a n d b a s s d r i v e b u t r o u n d i n g o f f t h e t h a n e n o u g h t o satisfy, b u t after o n l y t e n

a n a l o g u e effects have the potential t o

the

minutes or s o o f listening y o u are b e g -

set it a p a r t f r o m t h e y l i e h , b u t that

big beats a n d generally c a l m i n g t h e

g i n g for a c h a n g e . A different vocalist or

d a m n M C just

sound. H e has a d d e d a very professional

p r e f e r a b l y a n i n s t r u m e n t a l track? N o , y o u

b e i n g s t u c k in a c i n e m a

refinement to t h e a n a l o g u e treble lines;

get yet m o r e o f t h e unrelenting a n d

t e l l i n g y o u h o a g o o d t h i s bit is o r t o lis-

same

t e n f o r this l i n e b e c a u s e it is i m p o r t a n t

a n d continuously

later: Just leave m e t o it, O K ? G r e a t beats ,

hien

reminiscent o f Orbital in their subtlety

a l m o s t g r a t i n g o n s l a u g h t o f that

and lightness o f t o u c h . T h e s a m p l i n g ,

style,

too, has b e e n t a m e d t o a n infrequent

e x t o l l i n g its ra n v i r t u e s . E v e n

shamelessly

s tu n

n e e rapper (DRSI believe) c o m e s in, his

logue

style is l a r g e l y u n d i s c e r n a b l e f r o m t h e

Sure e n o u g h , a s t h e a l b u m c o n t i n u e s ,

r e s i d e n t . It s e e m s a m i n o r q u i b b l e , a n d

n o u r i s h i n g ) d i e t o f LTJ's p r e v i o u s

ei lm ,

e fg h

someone

H O O N

Divine C o m e d y -

A i highly

technologcal

modern

studio

s o u n d b u t at t i m e s t h e s o n g s felt like t h e y n e e d e d a little f l e s h i n g o u t . Production arguments

aside t h e

ef g h

strangers.

travels t h r o u g h t h e

niz elfgxr x w i e x l x d by c o n -

stant m o v e m e n t

t h r o u g h his increas-

ingly m e a n i n g l e s s

e i l k h . T h e lyrics really a l b u m - efg h t h e " m i n -

concentrate o n the

iex xr

n e x t t i m e r o u n d It m a d e p e r -

eilhs

being sung

efgjfn

this

gefy e

u p b e a t S i n a t r a - e s q u e style. A l t e r a t e a

a n d it s o u n d e d d i f f e r -

l i s t e n s y o u really g e t Into t h i s . H o a c a n

ef g h s tu n

ent for t h e better o n t h e s e c o n d o c c a -

y o u fault a s o n g

t h e lines 'Miniskirts

sion.

she danced

eiqkhz{t

describe t h e s o u n d as

p u r e , " s t a n d a r d " r a g g a e , if I m a y , it's m o r e like a

ngl xxgefn e

h i p - h o p b e a t rid-

ing o n s t r o n g raggae roots. N o t h i n g

in style

hien

Ihe a i s l e i n ' 63./But it's h a r d t o g e t b y

s tu n

y o u r a r s e Is t h e s i z e o f a s m a l l

c o u n t r y . ' T h e h u m o u r i n i h e s o n g is s p o t o n , n i c e b-sldes a s

exkk.

s t a n d s o u t t o o m u c h apart f r o m b r e a k b e a t s o n tracks s u c h a s Lovely M o r n i n g ,

bution.

A n c i e n t M e m o r i e s is a p e r f e c t e x a m p l e

s t a r t e d , t t h o u g h t that It h a d a

of t h e hip-hop beats: m e l l o e a n d fresh

r e s e m b l a n c e to a c o m b i n a t i o n of Oasis

T h i s is a n a l b u m o f c o n t r a d i t i o n s

pikkiexd

is a r e v i v i n g track in its ra n right.

ejfyh

I p u t this s i n g l e o n a n d a s t h e s o n g

eill fzg

t h r o u g h ideas. After a

but t h e o r i g i n is f o u n d e d f i r m ; s t r o n g

a n d recent S m a s h i n g Pumpkins. As the

But t h e n m y

c o u p l e o f s o n g s i n t h i s d e l i c a t e style

vocals a n d a beautiful c o m p l i m e n t of

s o n g progressed the resemblance

at t h e s l e e v e n o t e s

S m o g have fashioned themselves along

flute a n d s t r i n g . That's as g o o d a s it g e t s

refined to a n electronic Oasis The band

c o m e s a S p i r i t u a l i s e d Come

o n this a l b u m .

o v e n try a s o r t o f s t r u m m y a c o u s t i c

a b l e chair a n d s l i p p e d t h e C D

exkk.

- S m o g ' s style Is d e s c r i b e d a s " S u p e r

ie i . does

O h dear,

exkk.

not bode

Luckily t h e m u s i c o n t h e c d d o e s rise

a n d half

style rouser,

ejfyh

Together

shakes y o u up,

efgh

efk l

probably groe

I s u p p o s e if I h a d t o p i n s o m e i n f l u - c a n ' t s e e it r e d e e m i n g itself t o s u f f i c e n t

Moneys

b e a t s o n m a n y o f t h e tracks b u t t h a t ' s

Gone

just a p r o b a b l y a r a g g a e t h i n g . A f t e r a

d i s p o s i n g o f m o s t o f it. This s i n g l e stinks

it just s o u n d s like t h e s a m e t h i n g

o f sell-out. t h e b a n d s e e m t o b e t e l l i n g

Pink Floyd a n d R E M . T h e l e a d s i n g e r h a s

u p , t h i s r e c o r d h a s s o m e really b e a u t i f u l

a gravelly, g r u f f but t u n e f u l v o i c e a n d t h e

a n d d e l i c a t e s n a t c h e s o f b r i l l i a n c e in it -

the only

b u t n o t e n o u g h t o raise t h e s t a n d a r d

but still n o t s i n g l e m a t e r i a l . It this a l b u m

above average.

is m e a n t t o p r o m o t e r a g g a e t h e n I'm

skilled

in their c h o s e n i n s t r u m e n t s . B u t

ejfke

eil mx d in a a d , I felt that s o m e

s o m e tracks o n t h e a l b u m

O n e to El

eogyh

over a n d over - not g o o d . You can probably guess

`a o good

ejfy h are

tracks o n t h i s a l b u m ,

next a l b u m a r o u n d .

n o t i m p r e s s e d . If it's just s o m e t h i n g Siz-

Joel

z l a felt like d o i n g in h i s s p a r e t i m e t h e n

of t h e tunes s o u n d e d positively ' u n d e r

p r o d u c e d ' . I a p p r e c i a t e that t h e b a n d

expect t o s e e this g o p l a t i n u m . E l

may b e trying t o m o v e

from the

Is n y l x e x d u p royalty. This

Chrome

levels t o merit a h i g h e r score. S u m m i n g

exkl

ejfyh

Invader and t h e r e m i x o f All the

It just g e t s t o o b o r i n g

e n c e s o n this C h i c a g o b a n d , it e i q k d b e

rest o f t h e b a n d s e e m t o b e

break,

after that. I h e a r a lot o f t h e s a m e back-

the C h i c a g o childrens choir. I t h i n k this a l b u m

a d .

a ds

a l s o h a p p e n s o n t h e b-side

a b o u t half

o n m e efg h repeated listenings but I

But n o t b y m u c h .

T h e a l b u m is o n l y l i s t e n a b l e u p t o

t h e h e l p o f s o m e tight h a r m o n i z i n g a n d

above the standard of the sleeve notes.

simple a n d delicate

m o r e t h a n t h e rest o f t h e b a n d s c o n t r i -

o n m y f u n k y inflat-

into m y hifi. A l l a d s

This

O n first listen I really just d i d n o t g e t this.

o f t r a v e l l i n g b y b u s a n d is d o n e In a n

imalist" instrumentation forcing y o u t o

Space

right. T h a t ' s n o t t o s a y that t h e

s o m e o f it is v e r y l i s t e n a b l e a n d p l e a s -

h e l p p r o p u p this

hien

eos

ant. I a c t u a l l y p l a y e d this a l b u m

really s e e m s t o f e e l

eyes g l a n c e d

I p i c k e d it u p ,

a n d routine. T h e s o n g s detail fantasies

On the Road-esque

hien

s tu n

but in c o n f i d e n c e t o m y instincts, I

a b o u t h o a m o d e r n life is s o a n o n y m o u s ,

country a n d beyond. The

I sat

expecting to b e taken aback

by t h i s a l b u m

fect s e n s e . T h e s o n g is all a b o u t t h e joys

about chance enounters

m m m . W h e n I r e c e i v e d this C D

eonz{ t

m a t e r i a l is totally c r a p . O n t h e c o n t r a r y ,

lyrics t h e m s e l v e s i n v o l v e a lot o f t h o u g h t

thought.

s h u t u p . It's like

Mr.Trout

Sexy

Bullets,

b u t , ex kk , y o u g u e s s e d it...

eiz{t

great bass, great a t m o s p h e r e , g r e a t a n a -

ejikky ei l mn .

treat i n s t e a d o f t h e s t a p l e ( b u t

r e

intensely t h e music

T h e first i m p r e s s i o n is that o f a m o r e

edges of the sound, quieting

s |

A n d t o b e fair, t h e f u r t h e r t h e a l b u m goes, the more

Q r

t e n t o it -1

eiqkd

The

the

g r o o v e is a n d

i n t o g a r a g e territory.

fast,

loud a n d s a m p l e l a d e n d r u m a n d bass

v wiexlpql

r the

shouldn't

have

bothered.

Don't

Asad

m a n a g e s to improve ihe song by

a cy

they a r e m a k i n g their

b a c k . T h e y c a n just g o never c o m e back

come-

n oa a n d

E l

Jamie

8 Album

E A

ith m o r e tracks, g u e s t artists a n d r a n d o m

a l l e g e d g o o d g u y - e n d s u p b e i n g shot d e a d by o n e

animal

t i m e f r i e n d t h e evil T r u e - p l a y e d b y

noises than

a l b u m , A Prince

your

regular

Among

hip-hop

Thieves

is m u c h

p r o v i n g that evil

m o r e t h a n y o u r a v e r a g e o f f e r i n g , t o r a start it's b e e n

But

h Wu-Tang « «µ ² ¶

cl as s i c P r i n c e Paul

as r e l e a s e p r o m i s e s h a v e b e e n c o n t i n u a l l y b r o k e n .

spraying o f

for

and

f o r g i v e y o u P r i n c e Paul

time j o b

·¸¹º

hip-hop a l b u m s o f t h e year.

r Sha -

T h e beat flavours are i n f l u e n c e s p l u s a little

n beats f o r particular a t m o s -

p h e r i c s c e n e s . O f t h e thirty-five tracks o n t h e a l b u m t h e

t a doubt y o u have produced o n e of the highpoints c o m e

After time

® ² ³

s c o n q u e r s g o o d in t h e s e stories.

about the music?

in t h e p r o d u c t i o n p i p e l i n e f o r t s e e m s a n e t e r n i t y ,

, n o it's h e r e ¡

h t h e d i s c o s p i c e d More

Than You

e P r i n c e P a u l ' s o l d c o l l a b o r a t o r s D e La S o u l

a r e in c h a r g e o f t h e r h y m e s a n d C r a z y L o u ' s

h D e la S o u l , S t e t s a s o n i c a n d a part-

h t h e G r a v e d i g g a z , P r i n c e Paul h a s all t h e

Hideout

e l o n g t i m e hip-hop h e a d c a s e K o o l Keith rants a n d

c r e d e n t i a l s t o p r o d u c e t h e great hip-hop a l b u m that this

raves as g u n dealer Crazy L o u . There's further guest

is. M o r e o v e r , after f u r t h e r l i s t e n i n g t h e r e p r o v e s t o b e

a p p e a r a n c e s f r o m s u c h stars a s H o u s e o f Pain's L-ver-

¢£

first

last (as a p o l i c e m a n , a p p r o p r i a t e l y e n o u g h )

m e e t s t h e ear. Like t h e G o a t s ' classic Tricks of the

Shade

h o p o l d b o y s B i g D a d d y K a n e a n d Biz M a r k i e .

a n d t h e G r a v e d i g g a z ' s u p e r b Niggamortiz,

Prince

it's t h e r a n d o m a n i m a l s that s e e m t o h a v e b e e n r a n -

m u c h m o r e t o A Prince

Among

¥¦§¨©

Thieves

Among

s than

d o m l y scattered a c r o s s t h e a l b u m

tells a story. W h a t ' s m o r e is that f ol -

g this m u s i c r e l e a s e

ªe

l later b e t r e a t e d

So,

¬ ¤

s in t h e story?

d r u g s , g u n s a n d m u s i c in

So after

U n s u r p r i s i n g l y , it's a b o u t

n Ne

» o are the most « -

e y e a r s i n t h e b u s i n e s s . P r i n c e Paul

h a s l a n d e d h i s first s o l o a l b u m ,

d of

a n d this time t h e

m a g i c n u m b e r is f i v e . E l

York. T h e

James

h e r o o f t h e story is Tariq p l a y e d b y B r e e z e o f local u n d e r ground cre

o b o t h interrupt t h e f l o f r o m t i m e to time. W h o ¼® s t t h e r e l e v a n c e o f t h e s e b e a s t s is t h o u g h . «

v i d e o , I'm s u r e .

t h e rise a n d fall o f s o m e t h u g s in t h e g a n g s t a

a n d hip-

c o m e guests, especially t h e elephant a n d t h e s h e e p

a b i g s c r e e n c i n e m a t i c v e r s i o n o f t h e story - straight t o

¬« ¬´

the J u g g a k n o t s a n d indie rap s u p e r g r o u p

t h e I n d e l i b l e M C s . T h e k e y t o it all is r a i s i n g t h e m o n e y t o f i n i s h a d e m o t a p e f o r Wu-Tang o v e r l o r d t h e R z a . O f c o u r s e , t o raise t h e c a s h o u r y o u n g h u s t l e r b e c o m e s a d r u g dealer a n d e q u i p s himself along the

°± .

h a

¡ £ l

firearm

A n o t h e r n o n - s u r p r i s e is that Tariq - t h e

Tha Bomb! /

This

^ • B

k has b e e n rush, rush, rush. The

these boys,

Â ÃÄ ?

® ³ ¡¶ c ÀÀÀÀ

tastic p r o d u c t i o n a n d t h e f o u r girls s i n g

e d ) . P e o p l e l o o k at

problem stems from too m u c h to do and

t h e i r i m a g e o f a n all b o y b a n d g e a r e d f o r girls a n d c u s s

their h e a r t s o u t . This is a l r e a d y

not e n o u g h t i m e to d o it in a n d that's

t h e m , but y o u g o t t a c h e c k their t u n e s . This is a tight s i n -

a n d t h e British r e l e a s e s h o u l d , if t h e r e ' s

g l e that

a n y j u s t i c e , s e n d it t h r o u g h t h e r o o f .

this

»y

k all y o u g e t is a q u i c k l o o k at t h e

singles o u t a n d d u e for release in Britain. Next s h o u l d b e better ...but

h the

° y I e

s o n the vocals a n d these boys have got

massive

v o i c e s , it b r i n g s b a c k t h e o l d d a y s o f real s o u l .

When

t h e r e is s o m e

The d r e a m team? W h e n

doubt.

ÇÈ É s

first b r o k e , that t h e y

Æ Ê Ëe °s

g o i n g t o d o a track t o g e t h e r , b a c k in t h e s u m m e r I

Westslde-TQ

h y p i n g it t o t h e m a x . N o

this h a s b e e n g e t t i n g n u f f a i r p l a y a n d l o o k s all s e t t o

it's a bit o f a d i s a p p o i n t m e n t , at least I t h i n k s o . T h e

d o s o m e s e r i o u s d a m a g e o n t h e charts. It's t h e first s i n -

v o c a l s a r e s o l i d , I m e a n t h e s e a r e Ì ª o o f t h e best

g l e o f f h i s They Never

½¾ ¿ Me Coming

der

v o i c e s in t h e b u s i n e s s s o y o u

Set l o n g p l a y e r

a n d it's right o n p o i n t . L i s t e n i n g t o it m a k e s m e r it's r a p o r s o u l , T Q (real n a m e

a d d s a little bit m o r e . Westside homeland

expect t h e m to

Terrance

h the

I effort, it just d o e s n ' t d o i t . M a y b e it's b e c a u s e it's t h e s e •

Í o that

I e x p e c t s o m u c h m o r e , try a g a i n girls!

t coast s o u n d but

is a h o m a g e t o t h e m a n ' s

h t h e shout outs to fallen

(Tupac, Eazy) a n d p r o p s f o r t h e p e o p l e h e

¡« ®¤ t

I b e shit. T h e rest o f t h e r e c o r d is n o t really

Quaities) has m o v e d the goal posts creating a single that harks b a c k t o t h e s m o o t h

it's o u t a n d t o tell t h e truth

comrades

U p - t e m p o little n u m b e r that h a s M o n i f a h t r y i n g t o

°s n

c o m e o u t like t h e o r i g i n a l f r e a k A d i n a

h back in the day. His vocals are excellent a n d t h e

d a n d miss-

m i d t e m p o b e a t is killer all a d d i n g t o a s t a n d o u t s i n g l e

g o o d but t h e record hasn't quite g o t t h e finishing

for t h e start o f ' 9 9 .

t o u c h . It's t h e o p e n i n g s i n g l e f r o m h e r n e

Î follo

album to

a n d I'm h o p i n g t h e r e ' s s o m e t h i n g b e t t e r o n t h e

a l b u m o r e l s e it ain't g o n n a sell.

Gimme G i m m e s o m e m o r e , m o r e , m o r e o f this. M o n s t e r t u n e

and

a n d this is o u t o f this

h Put Your

T h e first s i n g l e r e l e a s e f r o m P r i n c e Paul's phat n e ª

after Woo Haa I t h o u g h t t h e r e ' s n o b e a t i n g this, b u t

n o for the n e

that's just t h e r e ! It's B u s t a t i m e ! This b o y just d o n ' t s t o p ,

for t h e s e c o n d s e t h e c o m e s

a l b u m A Prince

Hands....'

set h e d r o p s t h i s . T h e b o y is m a d

À ÀÀ ÀÁ

y it!

i n g . S o m e s o l i d , if d o d g y , p r o d u c t i o n a n d t h e v o c a l s are

Among

Thieves

is h i s c o l l a b o r a t i o n

h o l d pals D e La S o u l . It's a real c h a n g e f r o m t h e hard

f l a v o u r that h i p - h o p is e x p e r i e n c i n g , a n d t h e d i s c o

Get First taste c a m e last yea r o n p r o m o t i o n a l c o p y a n d h a d

b e a t that t h e t u n e rolls a l o n g t o is o u t s t a n d i n g . C h e c k

u s all l i c k i n g o u r lips,

it.

So m a n y p e o p l e h a v e c u s s e d m e f o r g i v i n g p r o p s t o

it's h e r e . T i m b a l a n d

¬ ® g «

for t h e release, a n d n o

s everyone

ÅÆÅ y

h his fan-

Mi ten

iCU IMI'I K l \ l COM 1(11 UNION

Your

0 Ă? Ă? Ă&#x2018; Ă&#x2019; Ă&#x201C;

Ă&#x201D; Ă&#x2022;

ml I

3 O l d Street, E C 1 . S a t u r d a y s , ÂŁB/ÂŁ8/ÂŁ10,

Ă&#x2014;Ă&#x2DC;Ă&#x2122;Ă&#x161;Ă&#x203A;Ă&#x153;Ă&#x2122; Ă&#x2013; ,

capacity - 600. Dress c o d e -

none.

j u m p i n g a b o u t all o v e r t h e s h o p ) , in t h e m i d d l e is y o u r soft c h e e s y - h o u s e c e n t r e ,

Ă?Ă¨Ă?Ă&#x201C;ĂŚ t

t h e t o p p i n g is a n e x q u i s i t e chill-out

r o o m ( o n e o f t h e best I've ever b e e n to). 333 is t h e n a m e o f t h e c l u b a n d t h e night,

Ă?Ă?Ă&#x201C;l

the night doesn't have a

In this r o o m

Ă¸ ĂšĂş Ăť e

y o u c a n relax y o u r

b o d y after a h a r d b o u n c e a r o u n d t h e

Ă Ă?Ă?ĂźĂźĂ&#x201C;Ă?Ă˝ ,

n a m e (neither d o e s their Friday n i g h t d o

rest o f t h e p r e m i s e s , b u t n o t t o

as far as I c a n s e e ) . B u t d o e s t h i s m a t t e r

mind-achingly b o r i n g n o n s e n s e by t h e

o n e little bit? W e l l , o f c o u r s e it d o e s n ' t .

Orb a n d other assorted

A s l o n g a s e v e r y t h i n g is c h i l l e d a n d

this is chill-out m u s i c

Ă&#x17E; Ă&#x; o cares about Ă? Ă?Ă h Ă? ĂĄ Ă˘ ĂŁ y cult fol-

Ă?Ă?Ă h

Ă?Ă?Ă?ĂˇĂźĂ¤ĂŚ .

No,

a distinct e d g e

g r o o v y in t h e c l u b t h e n

to it. S o o t h i n g e n o u g h t o b e relaxing, but

big n a m e

still up-beat e n o u g h t o k e e p that u n d e r -

Ă&#x201C;Ă¤Ă?Ă?Ă˘ĂĽĂŚ ?

nights

It's just a s g o o d t o g o t o a n

u n p r e t e n t i o u s place like this

Ă¤Ă?n Ă?ĂĄĂ˘ĂŁy

cult

Ă§Ă¤Ă&#x201C;Ă&#x201C;Ă¤Ă?Ă?Ă˘ĂĽ.

Ă?Ă?Ă h

its

There are

l y i n g f e e l i n g that y o u really

ĂŹ ĂŽ Ăžt

at s o m e p o i n t s o o n . I kno

p l e n t y o f r e g u l a r s a r o u n d o n t h e Satur-

Ă?

this is c o m p l e t e l y u n p r o f e s -

day night, but t h e s e are nice locals - n o

s i o n a l o f m e , b u t I can't r e m e m b e r

a t t i t u d e o r s n o b b e r y is

a n y o f t h e DJs

ĂŚĂ¨Ă¤Ă?n

to those

clearly v i s i b l e n e Ă&#x17E; c o m e r s like m y s e l f . It

Ă?ĂĄs

as if I c o u l d h a v e b e e n g o i n g t o t h e

place for a g e s - a n d m a y b e I

Ă?Ă?Ă&#x201C; l

in t h e

I like m o s t o f t h e c l u b s that I g o t o o n y o u r b e h a l f ( t o u g h life, I

ĂŁĂ˘Ă¤Ă?ĂŠ ĂŞ ,

this o n e Ă&#x17E; ĂŤ s e s p e c i a l l y fluffy. F r o m

don't think, b u t that

but

ĂŹ ĂĂŽ t

ĂŻ Ă° Ăąt

there you'd

Ă¤Ă? d Ă&#x17E; ĂŤs

great,

and you even had

h a d t o p a y f o r a n d s k a n k y fellas that

out.

t h e y m a i n l y k e e p it t o t h e m -

Ă&#x17E; ĂŤs funky,

a c h o i c e o f loos to g o to (posh o n e s y o u

c l u b is just a s i m p o r t a n t in t h i s i n s t a n c e

Ă&#x17E; Ă&#x;y

Ă&#x17E; ĂŤ s a n d is t h e Ă? Ă¨ Ă¤ Ă&#x201C; e

s t u n n i n g ( b o t h their m i x i n g a n d t h e

the venue

Ăż e

as t h e night. A n d if y o u

Ă&#x17E; Ă&#x;o

No-one famous I

p o i n t . It just d i d n ' t m a t t e r . T h e r e s i d e n t s

Ăż e

I've said a b o v e it is fairly clea r that t h e

see

Ă?Ă?ĂˇĂ?.

tracks t h e y played), t h e Ăś Ăˇ

future.

to g o

back and dance o n the main dancefloor

o b v i o u s l y free). N i c e p l a c e - try it

m .

s e l v e s . 333 is set o n t h r e e d i f f e r e n t levels ( o f c o u r s e ! ) ,

t h e b a s e is m a d e o f

hard-edged D&B beats

Ă˛Ăł Ă´Ăľ h

the

ĂśĂˇĂ¤Ă?d

Clubs to Watch in '99 Ă?ĂĄĂ&#x201C;Ă&#x201C;Ă¤ Ă?

is a c r e

Ă?

of teenage chaps on

the e d g e of s o m e t h i n g big,

Ă?Ă?Ă h

a blend

of hard uplifting horse, techno a n d d r u m a n d bass" I've

Ă? Ăˇ Ă?Ă Ă Ă? n

q u i t e a bit o n

Ă?ĂĄ Ă&#x201C;Ă&#x201C;Ă¤ Ă?

f r o l i c s s t a r t i n g at 1 0 p m a n d e n d i n g at 6am the

Ă§Ă¤Ă&#x201C;Ă&#x201C;Ă¤Ă?Ă?Ă˘g

morning. As

Ă?Ă? Ă&#x201C; l

the a f o r e m e n t i o n e d m u s i c , there b e a b o u t t e n DJs p l a y i n g e a c h

Ă?Ă?Ă&#x201C; l

event

spread over a c o u p l e of arenas. M C s

Ă?Ă?Ă&#x201C; l

b u t b e f o r e n o Ă&#x17E; it Ă&#x17E; ĂŤ s o n l y f o r o n e - o f f

e v e n t s . N o Ă&#x17E; t h e y h a v e finally g o t t h e m -

formers, dancers a n d drummers. I ree

selves a regular night. With different k i n d s o f m u s i c , l o a d s a n d l o a d s o f DJs

l a l s o b e in full e f f e c t , as

s and icepops Ă? ĂĄ Ă&#x201C; Ă&#x201C; Ă¤ Ă? Ă?Ă?Ă&#x201C;

Ă?Ă?Ă&#x201C; l a l s o

per-

b e available.

l b e o n e o f f o n d o n ' s best

a n d a c h e a p e n t r a n c e f e e , it's a c l u b f o r

n i g h t s o u t , c a t e r i n g for a large a u d i e n c e ,

us s t u d e n t s t o

a n d is a l r e a d y g e t t i n g rave

Ă?Ă?Ă&#x201C; l

Ă?ĂĄĂ Ăśh

o u t f o r , a n d visit.

b e a f o r t n i g h t l y Friday n i g h t

e v e n t , s t a r t i n g M a r c h 19th at t h e refurbished Club Innocence,

Ă˘Ă? Ă? Ă&#x201C; y

SL1. Not

s in a

n u m b e r o f m a g a z i n e s a n d listings. Clubscene

Ă?Ă?Ă&#x201C; l

be there

n it all kicks o f f

- see y o u there!

far f r o m L o n d o n B r i d g e , it's e a s y t o g e t to, a n d has loads of night b u s routes so y o u c a n g e t h o m e easily. I or s t u d e n t s it

l cost ÂŁ8 t o g e t i n , Ă? Ă?Ă h t h e f u n a n d

Gurm

Albums

Singles

)

ffrr h a s b e e n

) . C o m e s tion but s surprisingly h a f e m i x e s , b u t t h e best o n e is )

h the dance music

e x p l o s i o n in Britain s i n c e t h e very b e g i n -

and

n i n g . A n o f f s h o o t o f L o n d o n R e c o r d s , it's

M o r i Kante to their n a m e ( a m o n g s t o t h -

Pete Tong's label a n d has b e e n associ-

ers), it is n o s u r p r i s e that

ated

With remixes of N e

Order

Hardfloor's

the D u b mix

h s o m e o f t h e b e s t tracks t o

A q u a l i t y h o u s e track

heavy

" is o f s u p e r b a l b u m "All T a r g e t s

have ever

quality, r e t a i n i n g t h e d i s t i n c t i v e s o u n d s

a l b u m (as y o u c a n tell f r o m t h e title) is

s c r e a m i n g "baby". A t u n e

h H a r d f l o o r . T h e r e are n i n e

a c o m p i l a t i o n o f all t h e v e r y best ffrr

s y n t h e s i s e r s get t h e full t r e a t m e n t , to

associated

hit t h e

dance-floors.

The

bass lines a n d a

% n

t u n e s t o h a v e b e e n p r o d u c e d - naturally

g i v e a hands-in-thc-air a n t h e m . C o m e s

t h e y ' r e n o t all t h e r e but m o s t o f t h e m

h heavy bass hard h o u s e / t e c h n o

are. There are three CDs a n d

fectly c o m p l e m e n t i n g t h e m o r e s u b t l e

q u a l i t y as

lines a n d J o s h W i n k t y p e

, per-

h about

17 tracks o n e a c h o n e y o u a r e g e t t i n g

b a c k g r o u n d n o i s e s . It's a n o - n o n s e n s e a l b u m , d e m o n s t r a t i n g that

y o u t o e n j o y t h e c l a s s i c s at t h e i r very

c a n n o t just r e m i x , b u t c a n p r o d u c e q u a l ity tracks o f t h e i r

. As the

r e a d s , it's a c o l l e c t i o n o f

advert

devastating

t e c h - i n f e c t e d t r a c k s - I'll g o a l o n g

that!

â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;˘

best. There's a n e n o r m o u s a m o u n t o f variety o n the a l b u m ,

. It's a great a l b u m that you $ n memory lane

t o n a m e but a l

take

( r e m e m b e r that p e r s o n y o u s n o g g e d at the Hacienda a fe this a l b u m

For m a n y p e o p l e t h e s e m i x c o m p i lations a r e o n l y as g o o d as t h e s i n g l e s t h e DJ h a s u s e d . N o

Out N o

â&#x20AC;˘

)

$ s a n d heavy bass lines. h a very a n n o y i n g beat It starts o f f

that g o e s o n for a g e s b e f o r e t h e a c t u a l

she doesn't!).

t u n e kick s i n . O n c e it g e t s g o i n g it is good. Coming

h a vocal and d u b

m i x e s , it r e m i n d s m e o f C a p p e l l a a n d

Culture Beat ( r e m e m b e r them??).

" A very u n u s u a l t u n e

h plenty of

â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;˘

v o c a l s ( e s p e c i a l l y o n t h e v o c a l mix!). A g a i n , lots o f s yn th es is ers u s e d , t h o u g h t h e track is a m i x t u r e o f D&B,

euro-

' ;â&#x20AC;˘

h o u s e a n d n o r m a l bog-standard h o u s e

all r o l l e d i n t o o n e . A s t r a n g e c o m b i n a -

l j o g your memory). Superb

got nice p a c k a g i n g , s h a m e a b o u t tracks". A v i e

I agree

e )

all said t h e s a m e t h i n g . . . . "The A l b u m s

the

A n o t h e r a l b u m , as t h e e v e r - p o p u l a r collection reaches

its c o l l e c t i o n

. There may

r e a c h e s its sixth v o l u m e a n d it's g e t t i n g

h a t o t a l o f 37 t r a c k s b u t

b e t t e r a n d b e t t e r e a c h t i m e . D O P 6 is a d o u b l e C D a l b u m of the coolest, funki-

t i o n . Fair e n o u g h , as i n d i v i d u a l t r a c k s

est s o u n d s a r o u n d . T h e r e a r e c h i l l e d -

n they're m i x e d

o u t tracks, f u n k , s o u l , a n d a bit o f b i g

they're n o t b a d , b u t

t o g e t h e r it's a bit o f a m e s s . It is a l s o a

b e a t , m a k i n g this a n a l b u m o f l a r g e v a r i -

bit d i s a p p o i n t i n g t o s e e that J u l e s is t h e

ety a n d s h e e r class. If y o u l i k e d a n y o f

o n l y f e a t u r e d DJ " m i x i n g " o n t h e a l b u m

t h e first f i v e in t h e s e r i e s , y o u ' l l l o v e

- m a k e s t h e v a r i e t y a bit t h i n . If y o u ' r e

this.

p l a n n i n g t o s p e n d t h e ÂŁ16 or s o o n t h e

O u t f e b r u a r y 1st

a l b u m , at least try a n d l i s t e n to it first.

â&#x20AC;˘

the quality

l "

e expect from M O S .

PAPERS

Free CDs

(well, nearly)

â&#x20AC;˘â&#x20AC;˘â&#x20AC;˘

W i t h s o m e pretty u n i m p r e s s i v e t r a c k s it

e to d o s o ! N o t b a d , b u t n o t d be

OUAt-fTY

I'm very s u r p r i s e d at J u d g e J u l e s ' s e l e c -

-. s c r e a m s "baby") a n d a d u b m i x * + , e

E u r o - h o u s e style, lots o f s y n t h e s i s -

ers, /

q u i t e a lot o f p e o -

m a t e s / t h e g u y s in t h e lads, a n d t h e y ' v e

o CDs

e she

d a

â&#x20AC;˘â&#x20AC;˘â&#x20AC;˘

ple h a v e h e a r d this a l b u m - f r i e n d s / f l a t

years ago? N o - l

â&#x20AC;˘â&#x20AC;˘â&#x20AC;˘

- everything an a l b u m should be.

h tracks by CJ

B o l l a n d , Salt n' P e p a , O r b i t a l a n d G o l d i e ,

!"#

o m i x e s - a v o c a l mix * + ,

l as q u a n t i t y . W h a t ' s m o r e g is that t h e C D s a r e all u n m i x e d ,

Hardfloor

â&#x20AC;˘

the

h also

t h e lass d o e s n ' t

randomly

I n c l u d e s a b o n u s track. A l l t h e t r a c k s a r e

tracks o n t h e h o u r - l o n g C D ,

s i n g (??) as m u c h !

This h a s t o b e t h e c o o l e s t , f u n k i e s t a l b u m a r o u n d . It's a v e r y c h i l l e d - o u t a l b u m t h a t is

french

h o u s e music. The kind of music you'd

d This is a n e x c e l l e n t m i x c o m p i l a t i o n

h e a r o n c h e e s y 70s d e t e c t i v e m o v i e s , it

f e a t u r i n g J o h n "00" F l e m i n g . It's n o t d i g -

is s i m p l y a n e s s e n t i a l buy. S o m e o f t h e

itally m i x e d ,

s o u n d s a r e f a n t a s t i c a n d t h e r e is p l e n t y

but

recorded

live

and

d e m o n s t r a t e s F l e m i n g ' s s u p e r b DJ q u a l -

o f v a r i e t y . A n e x t r e m e l y c o o l a l b u m - if

l send

y o u & ' ( t a n i d e a it's like J a m i r o q u a i b u t

ities at their very best. T h e tracks

uplifting trance a n d progressive h o u s e fans

h delight - there's a mixture

of a n t h e m s a n d s o m e not so f a m o u s t u n e s . Eac h t r a c k is g r e a t a n d m i x e s

m u c h better, a n d

t the annoying

Jay Kay.

â&#x20AC;˘

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h t h e t r a c k s e i t h e r s i d e o f it - a s

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balls t o b e u s e d .

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puter o p p o n e n t s , from

troller c o n t r o l s t h e a 5 8 r o f t h e shot), it

six-million d o l l a r , fully b i o n i c p o o l g a m e

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S h a r k o f f e r s t h e c h a n c e t o play o n n o t

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Gary b.

' a n d t h e balls m o v e a l o n g

t m i s s e d . Back in 1996 C a p c o m

much

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larger p l a c e .

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games hijkl s again. But for o n c e t h e

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g a m e is n o t g o l f - s h a m e a s I h a d b e e n

n o t at t h e cost o f f u n c t i o n . T h e g r a p h i c s

r e h e r s i n g all o f m y divot a n d ball p u n s all

have b e e n heavily r e v a m p e d since t h e

mnn o

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last v e r s i o n , j q h h a n e r front e n d , a n d

'99, a f o o t b a l l m a n a g e m e n t g a m e f o r t h e

several r e v a m p e d tactical s c r e e n s . T h e '99

Playstation i j p k r j q h h t o o m u c h t i m e o n

e d i t i o n h a s a l s o finally g o n e fully inter-

their h a n d s . T h o s e r s o h a v e r e l a t i o n -

n a t i o n a l , j q h h b o t h Italian a n d English

ships jq h h t h e o p p o s i t e sex m i g h t just as

l e a g u e s r u n n i n g parallel (yeah I k n o j

jktl get t h e m to pack their bags a n d

that C M 2 d i d that a j y q t e a g o , but

m i g h t finally m a k e it t h r o u g h n i n e t y m i n -

t o t h e c l u b a n d t h e m o n e y m i g h t start

leave f o r A n t a r c t i c a , f o r if y o u like f o o t -

r e m e m b e r that's p l a y i n g t h e 16 M b g a m e

utes b e f o r e h e loses a n o t h e r ligament).

r o l l i n g i n . W h e r e t h e r e is p l e a s u r e t h e r e

ball m a n a g e m e n t g a m e s y o u m i g h t just

o n a P C j y q t e h e r e y o u a r e r u n n i n g it o n

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is a l s o t h e flip s i d e o f p a i n . B r i n g t h e sort

b e p a y i n g t h e m s l i g h t l y less a t t e n t i o n

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grunt).

yo u r m a n a g e r i a l post? I h e r e is a n o p t i o n

o f s u c c e s s that R e a d i n g or M a n c h e s t e r C.

for t h e n e x t f e r m o n t h s .

A n o t h e r c o m p l e x i t y is that t r a i n i n g n o r

to a l l o j t h e A l t o select t h e best t e a m f o r

E n o u g h h y p e , u vw t a b o u t t h e g a m e .

o c c u r s o n a one-to-one basis. W o r k i n g o n

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H o j d o e s it c o m p a r e a g a i n s t C h a m p i -

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t t i j k d t o s e e that little b e a u t y ! ) . W e l l

p o s s i b l e ( e v e n p o o r o l d sick n o t e D a r r e n

games).

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W o r t h t h e m o n e y ? f o r all t h o s e sta-

O f f t h e p i t c h a n d in t h e o f f i c e , it's a The a. S e p .'98...

tistic j u n k i e s , f o o t b a l l m a n a g e m e n t s i m -

NEWCAS1 LE UNITED

c a s e o f b a l a n c i n g t h e b o o k s . T h e ability

ulation addicts a n d p j

DmsiQn

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yk d jqhh too

s t a d i u m capacity a r c z { o o f t h e n e { cessor t o Premier M a n a g e r '98. Those |}~ s to spend a fortune (though n o j y o have never played a football m a n r e t r a c t a b l e p i t c h or r o o f o p t i o n s h a v e

ager g a m e , select t h e automatic

b e e n included - s o your stadium jqtl

p i c k i n g f u n c t i o n a n d it m i g h t just l os e

never

i m prov em en ts m o n e y can b e brought in

y o u a k or r o ( t i m e t r a v e l l i n g forx x x j l s rather t h a n j l . It is s i m -

f r o m sponsors. O b v i o u s l y starting f r o m

ply

b e perfect). To balance

these

t h e best

football

management

t h e third d i v i s i o n t h e s p o n s o r s y o u a r e s i m u l a t o r o n t h e P l a y s t a t i o n . g o i n g to g e t a r e n o t g o i n g t o b e s p e n d i n g a lot o f c a s h , b u t b r i n g s o m e s u c c e s s

GUI - Abacus - M C W Presents

Date: 8th February 1999, 10pm till late Venue: Hanover Grand

Ticket Price: £8 members, £10 non members, £15 at the door.

Tickets available from ICU Abacus Committee Contact: Joey : jyc97@doc.ic.ac.uk

team

Gary S.

S e

he d stands o n the brink o f the

next f i n a n c i a l . Y o u a r e d o r f , s u p p o s e d l y t h e richest city in G e r -

Day III) a n d ¡ ¥ ¦ g cities (Los Angeles). § ¦ ¨ e t h e p o l i t i c i a n s in Bundestag

planned,

o n t h e floor o f a stock e x c h a n g e ,

spiral ¦ s e v e r i n c r e a s i n g e n t r o p y .

edited using a computer; they d o not

h e m m e d in b y a riot o f p e o p l e in g a r i s h

jackets. They a r e f l a s h i n g secret

s t u d y at t h e A c a d e m y o f Art in D u s s e l -

m a n y a n d f a m o u s if n o t h i n g e l s e f o r its stock e x c h a n g e .

Sparse landscapes a r e another o f

Gursky's

signals a n d s h o u t i n g a b o u t t h e price o f

are

carefully

a n d extensively

really exist, this is e s p e c i a l l y t h e c a s e

h a f e

hand

pictures

contrived

o f Gursky's photos, ¨ « h

t a c k l e t h e c o n c e p t o f ' s e n s a t i o n trans-

'October Arabica' a n d 'Brent C r u d e ' . Y o u

f e r e n c e ' . All this ¡ ¨ ¦ t f a c i l e p h r a s e

a r e f e e l i n g c o n f u s e d a n d a little c l a u s -

m e a n s is that o u r p e r c e p t i o n o f a n object

trophobic. Then y o u ar e in t h e high

is i n f l u e n c e d b y its c o n t e x t ; t h e t r i u m p h

mountains, skiing across a glacier. T h e

of p a c k a g i n g over

sky is b l u e , t h e air is c o l d a n d t h e s c e n e r y

p h o t o Prada II, G u r s k y ¡ ¨ s s o m e shelv-

stunning. H o

d o y o u f e e l ?

ing normally u s e d to display expensive

These are both photographs taken by A n d r e a s G u r s k y a n d y o u r

s h o e s i n a f l a s h b o u t i q u e . Except t h e r e

personal

is n o t h i n g o n display,- n i c e

r e s p o n s e t o h i s k is e x a c t l y t t h i s exhibition

is a b o u t .

exchange

photo,

Take

Chicago,

s u b s t a n c e . In t h e

his stock

Board

package,

shame about the contents. tvery

p h o t o is v i s u a l l y s p e c t a c u l a r

e v e n if t h e i n t e n d e d m e a n i n g is hardly

Trade. At first, y o u a p p r o a c h t o e x a m i n e

r e v o l u t i o n a r y . Try a p p r e c i a t i n g t h e m a s

it, like a n o l d s c h o o l p h o t o g r a p h , s c a n -

v i s u a l o b j e c t s , rather t h a n e n g a g i n g y o u r

n i n g f o r f a m i l i a r f a c e s . U p c l o s e , it is o u t

brain. After all, this e x h i b i t i o n is n o t e a r t h -

o f f o c u s yet s u f f u s e d b y digital clarity. Y o u

q u a k e material, but t h e massive size o f

step back a n d t h e n t h e detail

merges

each p h o t o a n d t h e fascinating subjects m a k e it h g o i n g t o s e e .

into b l u r r e d s p l u r g e s ; s o m e k i n d o f o r d e r emerges from the chaos. The ideas o f order a n d ch ao s a r e

T h e y e a r is 1 9 8 4 a n d t h e a u t h o r

clearly i n g r a i n e d i n G u r s k y ' s s o u l a n d

c o m e o u t a s u n i f y i n g t h e m e s in his .

or Hong

B o r n in L e i p z i g i n

Kong,

Stock

Exchange

Rheln, d e p i c t s a s e c t i o n o f t h e river a s a n

portra y

abstract o b j e c t , d e v o i d o f p e o p l e a n d

, h e g r e u p in our d not as chaotic but highly reg-

East G e r m a n y h e x p e r i e n c e s o f p o l i t -

Gursky's subjects, a n d o n e o f these,

Square

o b v i o u s p o i n t s o f interest. Engadln

William

Burns

Until 7th M a r c h

is a

i m e n t e d ; o u r o f f i c e s h a v e t a k e n u s pris-

startling p a n o r a m a o f cross-country skiers

ical a n d artistic r e p r e s s i o n . In h i s m i d - o n e r . A c c o r d i n g t o G u r s k y , o r d e r a n d

o n a glacier, surely n o t h i g h art, b u t t e c h -

Nearest tube: South Kensington

¡ , G u r s k y t o o k t h e t r a i n ¢ £ ¤ t t o

nically s u p e r b a n d truly d r a m a t i c .

O p e n i n g hours: daily 1 0 a m - 6 p m

c o n t r o l e v e n p e r v a d e r o c k c o n c e r t s (May

A d m i s s i o n : FREE

G k

T h r o u g h r e a d i n g ³ e g e t a better

h e Estorick C o l l e c t i o n in I s l i n g t o n is

i d e a o f t F u t u r i s m a c t u a l l y is. All t h e

from

art. This m e a n s that t h e g a l l e r y h a s

b o o k s a r c illustrated b y t h e artists. T h e y

another

a s t r o n g t r a d i t i o n in ¡ ¨ g Futurist art. A fe

a l s o i n v o l v e d in p r o m o t i o n o f p r o d u c t s

the L o n d o n h o m e o f m o d e r n Italian

m o n t h s a g o , I e a b o u t a bril-

liant s h o o f B a l l a ' s p a i n t i n g s .

Zang

let t h e i r

l o o s e a n d t h e results

Tumb Tumb is t h e latest e x h i b i t i o n d e a l -

authors' ¡. O n e

i n g h t h e Futurists' i m p a c t a n d i n f l u -

of the most

e n c e o n c o n t e m p o r a r y art. It f o c u s e s o n

i n g i n n o v a t i o n s is t h e

t h e literary i n p u t o f t h e m o v e m e n t . T h e

concept

first r o o m is full o f e x c e r p t s f r o m b o o k s

alingua' - talking h

a n d illustrations. M o s t o f t h e texts a r e i n

onomatopoeias

interest-

of 'onom-

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sign o f their m o d e r n i t y a n d progress and discov-

6 h a s b e e n c h a n g e d . T h e p o l i t i c a l car-

eries o f their time.

toons have disappeared, giving

Fhe a d s ¡ ¨ n a r c

more ¦ ¶s by Modigliani a n d D e

very effective - o n e

Chirico. There are¸

for t h e Italian Lottery

pieces; a s t a n d i n g figure by Sironi a n d a

a n d t h e o t h e r for t h e

seated ¦ n

aperitif

Campari,

t r e m e n d o u s p o e t r y in t h e m . T h e rest o f

f u t u r i s m is p e r f e c t

t h e p e r m a n e n t c o l l e c t i o n is v e r y inter-

attain a b e t t e r u n d e r -

lations b u t it ¬ d b e o f g r e a t h e l p t o

standing of language.

because o f the pro-

proclaim t h e

fusion o f ideas a n d

m a s t e r at least o n e o f t h e s e Latin l a n -

Parole ten

in Liberia

± ® ¯ ° s in f r e e d o m ) -

by t h e leader

o f t h e Futurists,

Marinetti. The manifesto includes claims

They

splendour of geometry

destruction o f syntax a n d affirms t h e complete disappearance of punctuation. T h e s e texts a r e t r e m e n d o u s l y e n e r g e t i c a n d i n s p i r i n g . T h e Italians a l s o h a d t h e help a n d personal involvement o f t h e most French

original poets

a n d ground-breaking of the time:

Cocteau a n d Jacob.

Cendrars,

for

beauty'. T h e s e artists a r e r e m a r k a b l e in t h e they

²y

c h a l l e n g e d all

advertising

the surprising use o f imagery.

thus creating a ' n e

that drastic c h a n g e s n e e d t o b e m a d e i n

²y p e o p l e the . It c e l e b r a t e s t h e

a n d mechanics

rating r e c e n t t e c h n o l o g i c a l c h a n g e s . T h e

by Boccioni. Both have

esting a n d highlights include

Balla's

paintings a n d Marini's sculptures. It is e s s e n t i a l t h a t p e o p l e g o t o visit t h e L s t o r i c k s ' h o u s e . Futurist f a n s l b e a n d first t i m e r s l b e · ¨ d b y

some

t h e s e artists' e x t r a o r d i n a r y e n e r g y a n d

and

imagination.

magazines

pub-

lished

the

over

brilliantly i l l u s t r a t e d .

of the , incorpo-

bition ¡ ¨ s

19th c e n t u r y a n d p r o n vie

o beautiful n e

¡¥¦¥ s

1920s a n d 1930s, all

²y to

d e l i g h t e d t o s e e m o r e o f t t h e y like

Finally, t h e e x h i -

the o l d ideas o f t h e p o s e d their ´

ian art: s c u l p t u r e s , p a i n t i n g s a n d ¦ -

i n t h e i n g s . S i n c e I last · d it, o n l y g a l l e r y

French o r Italian h s o m e E n g l i s h trans-

g u a g e s . T h e m a i n b o o k s t u d i e d h e r e is

T h e rest o f t h e g a l l e r y c o n t a i n s a

ª n c o u n t r y . T h i s is y e t c o m p r e h e n s i v e c o l l e c t i o n o f m o d e r n Italinvolvement

imagination

are a s poeti c a s t h e

their µ

Stile

futurista

U n t i l 11th A p r i l

had a

f u n d a m e n t a l rol e i n the history o f t h e m o v e m e n t

h its

N e a r e s t t u b e : H i g h b u r y & I s l i n g t on A d m i s s i o n : FREE t o s t u d e n t s

s e c o n d r o o m c o n c e n t r a t e s o n advertis-

i n f l u e n t i a l t h o u g h t s a n d ¦ ¶ ¡ . This is

O p e n i n g hours: W e d n e s d a y - Saturday

i n g a n d m a g a z i n e s . T h e Futurists ¹ º » e

compelling · ¶.

1 1 a m - 6 p m (12 - ¼ ½ m o n S u n d a y )

sparkle

Â É Ñ È n ßÂÄÇh the most elegant of skins",

a c c o m p a n i e d o n t h e piano by M a u r e e n

h e paid

she steers à á à y f r o m her quest for love

Parry) a n d t h e n h e r h e a r i n g . S h e starts

m i s t a k e " ) , t h e rol e o f r e l i g i o n a n d t h e

890 c o p y o f

a n d h e r father's ÂÄÓ l f o r h e r t o marry, per-

reflecting o n the pointlessness o f h u m a n

h y p o c r i s y o f t h e clergy. Q u i l l c y brin g s t h e

endeavours, the ÂÄÅÒÏÔÐÏÊs o f a sup-

arlo A r d i t o ' s b l u e e y e s

¾ ¿À

n h e explains h o

£1000 f o r a g e n u i n e

M a r i e Bashkirtseff's j o u r n a l s , Â Ã Ä Å h - after

h a p s a little d i s i l l u s i o n e d by h e r p a r e n t s

years o f o b s e s s i o n - i n s p i r e d h i m t o Â Æ Ä Ç e

É Â n m arita l f a i l u r e .

posedly

his m o v i n g y e t v e r y ÂÄÇÇ y play, Brief

merciful

Â Ã Ä Å h lack p r e c i s i o n a n d a r e a "great

a u d i e n c e to laughter ÂÄ Ç h his mastery of t h e n u a n c e s o f s a r c a s t i c i n f l e x i o n s in his

She stands u p to her

G o d , a n d t h e ironi-

voice, ÂÃÄÓ e White brings a refreshing

dle. M a r i e Bashkirtseff Â È s a 9th c e n t u r y

father

by pleading

cal p a r a d o x æ Ï Ç Â Ï Ï n

y o u t h f u l s m i l e t o o u r f a c e s . W e n e v e r get

Russian-born, t r e n c h - b r e d p a i n t e r Â Ã É Ê e

f o r t h e e q u a l right o f

a m b i t i o n a n d illness.

b o r e d b y é êë t

premature death brought her t h e f a m e

ÂÉÑÏn

to b e pro-

Just a s s h e starts t o

Stella Q u i l l e y ' s d e e p c o n c e r n f o r m i n u t e

s h e h a d Ë Ì Ë Î s l o n g e d for. But o n e n e e d

f e s s i o n a l artists. By

taste s u c c e s s , M a r i e

details c a n d e f i n i t e l y b e s e n s e d , Â Ã Ï Ç Ã Ï r

not k n o Â m u c h a b o u t t h i s n o

choosing

reaches

ÂÄÇh the accessories, the interesting use

Can-

(sadly

t h e arts

e n o u g h ) f o r g o t t e n artist t o a p p r e c i a t e t h e

(first

then

i n e l u c t a b l e fate, a n d

performance.

painting), Marie not

dies o f tuberculosis.

T h e play r e t r a c e s h e r life f r o m t h e age o f 3 Â Ã Ï Ð , comfortably secured in

music,

her

only embraces a

Á ây

É Â Ï è Ï r - a n d this

ÓÉÂs a self-imposed,

story - art t r i u m p h s

strenuous discipline

over

M i s h a - all perfectly a c t e d b y a s t r o n g cast

Â Ã Ä Å h conflicts ÂÄÇh

full o f c o m p l i c i t y ) , s h e l o n g s f o r a b s o l u t e

h e r frail c o n s t i t u t i o n . I

love a n d Ò Ð É Â Ó Ï Ô Õ Ï .

Ö× Ø Ù × × n a f e

lines o f Plato a n d S h a k e s p e a r e ( h e r i n t e l -

death

since

ÂÆÄÇ-

Bashkirtseff's

ings a n d paintings

" W h a t e v e r M a r i e is,

today survive.

s h e is i n t e n s e l y " .

Life,

after all, s h o u l d b e

¾ ¿À n it

A s t h e play u n f o l d s , ã e a r e m o v e d

c o m e s t o F r e n c h history!), s h e flirts Â Ä Ç h

by M a r i e ' s Â É Ð Ô Ï Æ ä å l character, p l a y e d by

D u k e s a n d Priests, a s Â Ï Ó l a s t h e i r h i e r -

the talented Celia White,

lectual e n d e a v o u r s a r e h i l a r i o u s

o f light a n d m u s i c , t h e d i v i d e o f t h e s t a g e (particularly r e l e v a n t f o r t h e e p i s tolary s c e n e æ Ï Ç Â Ï Ï n

Marie and the

is t h e m o r a l o f t h e a u t h o r G u y d e M a u p a s s a n t ) , or t h e o r i g -

f i g u r e s a n d ser-

e h e a r or s e e . D i r e c t o r

o f life, b u t a l s o f o l -

vants (her m o t h e r , aunt, c o u s i n a n d

a cocoon of Â É Ñ Ï n

ÁÚ

lived like M a r i e ' s :

inal p r e s e n c e o f a narrator g u i d i n g t h e play. I inally, t h e t h e a t r e

itself is s m a l l

a n d c o s y , Â Ä Ç h n o visibility o r a c o u s t i c s problems. What more can

Á e say, but g o

a n d c h e c k t h e play o u t for y o u r s e l v e s ! W e t h o r o u g h l y e n j o y e d it.

a candle cut in four

a n d b u r n i n g at all e n d s " .

Jenny

o succeeds

T h e play a d d r e s s e s s e r i o u s t h e m e s ,

archical s u p e r i o r s , t h e k i n g o f S p a i n a n d

in c o n v e y i n g t h e e x i s t e n t i a l q u e s t i o n i n g ,

o f t e n Â Ä Ç h i r o n i c u n d e r t o n e s or É å Ç Â È Æ d

the P o p e h i m s e l f . All t h e latter a r e p l a y e d

ambition,

enthusiasm, suffering a n d

h u m o u r , like t h e R u s s i a n elite in I r a n e e

and Nisha

U n til 1 4 t h F e b r u a r y

Á Ú o does a remarkable

s o m e t i m e s e v e n cruel determination o f

d u r i n g the 19th century, f e m i n i s m , the

job of ÊÂÄÇÅÃÄÐ g from o n e character to

the y o u n g Â É Ñ È Ð . Progressively Marie

p l a c e o f art in life, t h e c r i t e r i a o f p e r f e c -

Performance

t h e o t h e r ÛÜ Ý Þ y o f c o s t u m e c h a n g e s . A s

l o s e s h e r b e a u t i f u l v o i c e ( n o t e t h e live

t i o n in p a i n t i n g ( B a s h k i r t s e f f

7 . 3 0 p m ì í î î ïð î ñ d m a t i n e e s 3.30pm )

M a r i e Õ Æ É Â s into a s t u n n i n g l y beautiful

s i n g i n g o f Tosti's

describes Impressionism - as "patches"

Tickets : c o n c e s s i o n s £7

h a s c r e a t e d a fantastic m a z e o n t h e floor

by D e n i s Q u i l l e y ,

by Carol Wells

critically

Nearest tube: I lampstead times: Tu es da y - Saturday

C i

his is t h e latest s h o Â at t h e v e r y

o t h e r h a n d , Brian G r i f f i t h s ' c o n t r i b u t i o n

h e is t h e o n l y p e r s o n o n t h e p i c t u r e s ,

f a m o u s Saatchi Gallery, Â Ã Ä Å h reg-

Osaka,

o f t e n a p p e a r i n g s e v e r a l t i m e s o n t h e f r o m a clatter o f r u b b i s h - TV sets, c l o c k s ,

Taylan and Ron is really f u n n y . H e

controver-

h a s u s e d p a p e r plates, m i l k b o t t l e t o p s ,

s a m e s h o t . It is c l e v e r a n d s o a m u s i n g ,

e l e c t r i c a l a p p l i a n c e s , t y p e ÂÆÄ ÇÏÆÊ , l o a d s

sial, cutting-edge a n d e x c i t i n g e x h i b i t i o n s

c a r d b o a r d b o x e s c o m b i n e d Â Ä Ç h all sorts

T h e first series ä É Ó Ó É Â s h i m o n a n i g h t o u t

o f p a p e r a n d stickers... S o m e o f t h e litter

in f o n d o n . T h e d i s p l a y is t h e first i n s t a l -

o f o t h e r bits a n d b o b s , t o m a k e u p é êë t

o n t h e Ç É Â n - at t h e p u b , d r e s s e d i n

is still Â É Æ Ò Ä Ð g s o t h e r e is a n È Â ä å l n o i s e

m e n t i n a s e r i e s p r o m o t i n g t h e latest

l o o k s like t h e c o n t r o l r o o m o f a s p a c e

d r a g , Â Ï È Æ Ä Ð g a Paul S m i t h T-shirt, g e t t i n g

o f t i c k i n g a n d b a n g i n g . It s e e m s

ularly s t a g e s t h e m o s t

Â É Æ Ò s by s o m e o f t h e m o s t äÉ Æ Â È Æ d think-

lakahashi Â ÈÐ Ç Ï d to represent a house,

i n g artists in Britain, s o m e a l s o f e a t u r e d

using objects f r o m t h e b a t h r o o m a n d the

Stay pretty s h o Â Á ò ó ó ôs at t h e ICA, Â Ã Ä Å h e n d e d a f e

d e n or t h e living r o o m . Y o u c a n s p e n d

in t h e brilliant Die young

b e d r o o m , o t h e r s that b e l o n g in t h e gar-

ago.

lots o f t i m e just Â È Ó Ò Ä Ð g a r o u n d r e a d i n g all t h e n o t e s o n t h e ÂÈ ÓÓ Ê . T h e overall

Steven Gontarski has brought m o r e of his f a s c i n a t i n g s c u l p t u r e s m a d e o f

i m p r e s s i o n reveals our d e p e n d e n c e o n

p o l y e s t e r , P V C a n d s y n t h e t i c hair. T h e

t e c h n o l o g y in e v e r y d a y life a n d h o

shapes are extremely o d d , s o m e ÂÄ Çh a

s t r o n g s e x u a l f e e l t o t h e m . T h e y a r e all tremendously

compelling

ÁÁe

Ë e so much. This s h o Â is u n m i s s a b l e b e c a u s e it

a n d quite

is y e t a n o t h e r i n d i c a t o r o f t h e s t r o n g

beautiful. M a r t i n M a l o n e y ' s Â ÉÆÒ , entitled

a n d e x c i t i n g art s c e n e in Britain. T h e s e

Sex Club, is rather d i f f e r e n t . It f o c u s e s o n

a r c t h e classics o f t h e f u t u r e a n d it is f a n -

different sexual behaviours o f g a y m e n .

tastic t o Â Ä Ç Ð Ï Ê s t h e m a k i n g o f t h e s e

The paintings are highly explicit, por-

fascinating n e

artists.

traying several õ ö÷ s o f e n a c t i n g s a d o m a s o c h i s m . A lot o f t h e p e o p l e l o o k i n g at t h e s e p i e c e s á ø ù e q u i t e d i s t u r b e d . M a l o n e y ' s style is particular a n d this h e l p s mock the stereotypes o f t h e things h e paints. His t e c h n i q u e pays o f f Â Ï Ó l a n d h e is v e r y c o u r a g e o u s t o e x p l o r e s u c h a touchy

subject,

usually

buried

deep

u n d e r g r o u n d o n t h e art s c e n e . O n t h e

ûüýû

ship. Richard Wilson's ú

D. is s t u n n i n g ;

d r u n k a n d b e i n g sick in t h e t o i l e t s . T h e

Á âr s c e n e s

ÿ e

h e h a s s i m p l y c r e a t e d a p o o l o f oil a n d

o t h e r d e p i c t s multiple;

t h e e f f e c t is d i f f i c u l t t o d e s c r i b e . A l l I

he attempts to s h o Â the horrors o f vio-

c a n s a y is that it's m a g i c a l a n d like n o t h -

l e n c e . H i s Â É Æ k is d e f i n i t e l y n o t o n e o f

Nearest tube:

m y f a v o u r i t e s . Finally, t h e m a i n r o o m o f

A d m i s s i o n : £4, c o n c e s s i o n s £2

t h e g a l l e r y is t a k e n u p b y a n e n o r m o u s

O p e n i n g h o u r s : 12 - 6 p m , T h u r s d a y -

i n g e l s e I h a v e e v e r s e e n . Paul S m i t h h a s c o m e up ÂÄÇh þ

Á o sets o f p h o t o s . T h e

i n t e r e s t i n g t h i n g a b o u t this Â É Æ k is that

installation o f T o m o k o Takahashi,

Á Úo

Until 4th April

Sunday

Í s Cottage

T l

The

( ) * + , . M o n e t d o n a t e d 22 p i c t u r e s t o t h e

inci-

H i s i l l u s t r i o u s r lilies d o m i n a t e

u n d e r v a r i o u s " r c o n d i t i o n s (misty,

sively c a t e g o r i s e d girls a s " t h e c u t e

t h e 8 0 c a n v a s e s o n display. M o n e t p u r -

c l o u d y , rainy, s u n n y ) a r e particularly c e l -

I r e n c h n a t i o n in c e l e b r a t i o n o f t h e A l l i e d

ones, t h e ugly o n e s a n d t h e M o n -

c h a s e d t h e G i v e r n y estate i n 1890 a n d

e b r a t e d . "It's t h e f o g that g i v e s L o n d o n

v i c t o r y d u r i n g t h e first W o r l d W a r .

ets - t h e o n e s that l o o k b e a u t i f u l f r o m

e x p a n d e d t h e g a r d e n t o i n c l u d e a r

its m a r v e l l o u s b r e a d t h a n d b e a u t y . " I r o m

M o n e t invariably a p p e a l s t o t h e p u b -

feature - t doubt the most famous

his b a l c o n y o f t h e S a v o y H o t e l , h e repeat-

lic b e c a u s e his k is d e c o r a t i v e , u n d e -

h e h e r o i n e o f t h e f i l m Clueless

a distance

b u t n

y o u get close

t h e y ' r e a m e s s . " C l a u d e M o n e t ( 1 8 4 0 - p o n d in t h e d - " f o r t h e p l e a s u r e o f

edly painted the H o u s e s o f Parliament

m a n d i n g , accessible a n d familiar. The

1926) is t h e q u i n t e s s e n t i a l I m p r e s s i o n i s t ,

t h e e y e s a n d a l s o as a s o u r c e o f m o t i f s

a n d n u m e r o u s b r i d g e s o v e r t h e River

s e n s a t i o n a l d e m a n d for tickets (over

considered by m a n y as t h e f o u n d e r a n d

to paint." A p h e n o m e n a l

understate-

Thames.

leade r o f this r e v o l u t i o n a r y artistic m o v e -

m e n t , s i n c e t h e Nympheas

s e r i e s is h i s

m e n t . H i s p i c t u r e title An

Impression,

definitive trademark. A version o f t h e

cance of M o n e t ' s deteriorating eyesight

B r i t a i n . A l t h o u g h r u m o u r s o f 24 h o u r

p r o m p t e d a derisive journalist to

Path s r e c e n t l y a u c t i o n e d f o r a r e c o r d

in his d r a m a t i c shift o f style " $ s t h e

o p e n i n g a b o u n d , -. / 0 1 e o f g i g a n t i c

c o i n t h e t e r m I m p r e s s i o n i s m i n 1 8 7 4 . 19.8 m i l l i o n p o u n d s . M o n e t , M o n n a i e ,

e n d o f h i s life. H i n d e r e d b y a cataract

queues

f a s c i n a t e d b y light, h i s t y p i c a l m a s t e r -

M o n e y . Admittedly s o m e pictures are

o p e r a t i o n , his crude % & k verges

inevitable topical repetitiveness, s h a m e -

others are

o n t h e boldly abstract h a n u n f i n -

fully i n f l a t e d p r i c e s a n d o u t r a g e o u s m e r -

! ! t (better suited to a bordello ,

ished, informal e d g e . H e also appears to

c h a n d i s i n g , this a c c l a i m e d e v e n t is t h e

experiment h colour, including a n

h i g h l i g h t o f t h e a n n u a l arts c a l e n d a r .

Sunrise

130,000 pre-booked places)

Controversy rages over t h e signifi-

pieces are a t m o s p h e r i c blurs o f pastel

visually s t u n n i n g , r

shades, ultimately capturing t h e s p o n -

s i c kl y

taneity a n d vivacity o f n a t u r e . In fact, h e

c l a i m e d a n a s t o u n d e d critic).

o r i g i n a l l y e a r n e d h i s r e p u t a t i o n a s a car-

c h u r n e d o u t v a r i a t i o n s o n h i s r lily

atypical

icaturist a n d portraitist, b e f o r e d e d i c a t i n g

t h e m e h a n almost obsessive pas-

unconventional

h i m s e l f in e a r n e s t t o l a n d s c a p e s . M o n e t

sion.

unrecognisable.

Monet

russet

is p r o o f

e n o u g h o f his astonishing popularity in

a n d ' $&.

Despite the

p a l e t t e . T h e r e s u l t is and

Helena

refreshingly

c e l e b r a t e d h i s 6 0 t h b i r t h d a y at t h e t u r n

S h i m m e r i n g " , b l o o m i n g # s

T h e a e s t h e t i c climax o f t h e e x h i b i t i o n

of t h e century a n d this major retrospec-

a n d lush foliage aside, the exhibition

is t h e last gallery ' h c o n t a i n s s a m p l e s

tive t r a c e s t h e e v o l u t i o n o f his k d u r -

also offers a selection o f images from

o f h i s a m b i t i o u s Grandes

Decorations

N e a r e s t t u b e : G r e e n Park/Piccadilly Circus

i n g t h e final p e r i o d o f his c a r e e r , h t h e

M o n e t ' s travels t o L o n d o n a n d V e n i c e .

project. This s e q u e n c e o f h o r i z o n t a l p a n -

O p e n i n g hours: daily 9 a m - 6 p m (friday

intention o f disclosing t h e m a t u r e facet

His m u l t i p l e scries, d e p i c t i n g identical

els is particularl y i m p r e s s i v e b y its m o n -

a n d S atu rday , e x t e n d e d t o 1 0 p m )

o f this artist.

s u b j e c t s at d i f f e r e n t h o u r s o f t h e d a y

u m e n t a l s c a l e , s o m e s p a n n i n g 18 f e e t in

A d m i s s i o n : ÂŁ9, c o n c e s s i o n s ÂŁ6

The

Houses

U n t i l 18th A p r i l

7 The s e c o n d half 2 B s o n e of the closest

g a m e s p l a y e d by IC in t h e last f e 2 years,

T h e first m a t c h o f t h e n e 2 y e a r for t h e

points, 235 h the 2 3 66 78 s c o m p l e t i n g

IC Basketball 1 sts 2 B s a real thriller! It 2 B s to b e f i n d i n g his best s h a p e , right b e f o r e

t h e c o u r s e in t h e f as t e s t t i m e .

The

t h e quarter-final o f t h e UL C u p a g a i n s t

c h e c k p o i n t s 2 34 l b e

and

King's.

the

based

9:26;,

South

B u r g e s s Hill, W e s t S u s s e x a r e a . A c h e c k p o i n t 234 l c o n s i s t o f a m i n i m u m o f 3 p e o p l e , a tent, a g a s light, a first a i d kit a n d t h e p u n c h c a r d s 2 3 5 h

2 < 3 = h t h e t e a m s 234 l a u t h e n t i c a t e t h e i r visit to e a c h c h e c k p o i n t . A t e a m 23 4 l

o p p o n e n t s , it 2 B s

For IC's

l e d by G u i l l e r m o San M i g u e l 2 < o s e e m s the

BUSA

N:82B8O;,

knock-outs. The

Simon Brcnnan

offensively and

Elias

f h i s 2 B s it, t h e last m a t c h in t h e C+G sparkes cup c a m p a i g n .

Victory 2 : C 4 d

give the T U V V t smell of success

and

m e t a l l i c taste o f b e e r d r u n k f r o m a tro-

c h a n c e for r e v e n g e for their B U S A d e f e a t

lliadis d e f e n s i v e l y a d d e d t o t h e p a c e set

earlier in t h e s e a s o n . T h e 2 B y t h e m a t c h

by t h e IC play-maker. At t h e e n d , K i n g ' s

Ihe R S M l i n e u p 2 B s full o f s t r o n g

started, n o t h i n g ; < : 2 7 d

things

p e r f o r m a n c e 2 B s not e n o u g h to g i v e t h e

players led by th e m i g h t y c o c k n e y 2 < o

2 : C 4 d e v e n t u a l l y turn o u t . In m o s t o f t h e first half, IC D E F e v e r y c o n v i n c i n g d e f e n -

ticket to t h e s em i- f in als. A d e t e r m i n e d IC 2 : n t h e tie 76-73 a n d

f o r g o t , t o his t e a m s d e t r i m e n t , that 2 e D E Fe p l a y i n g u n i o n ( n o t l e a g u e Matt).

ho2

phy.

sively a n d a p p e a r e d t o t a k e a p e m a n e n t

progressed, despite the 4 unsuccessful

C+G, g o d b l e s s ' e m , t u r n e d u p 2 3 5 h

l e a d G HI n t h e y J K L t u p 32-17 f o u r m i n -

d e s p e r a t e 3-pointers s h o t in t h e last 1 2 "

m o r e t h a n the legally prescribed n u m -

consist o f 4 p e o p l e , e q u i p p e d 2 3 5 h o n e

u t e s b e f o r e t h e e n d o f t h e half.

by King's s h o o t i n g guards.

ber o f players s o c o u l d m a k e a m e n d s for

checkcard, a map, and a compass.

At t h a t p o i n t s o m e s t r a t e g i c m i s t a k e s

IC n o 2 h a v e t h e c h a n c e to r e p e a t t h e

his s c h o o l b o y error by t h e tax-free d o n a -

T h e n i g h t h i k e 234 l b e h e l d o n t h e

f r o m IC's b e n c h as 2 7 4 l as a n u m b e r o f

a c h i e v e m e n t o f the prev i ou s 5 2 o years,

t i o n o f Peter " t h e f l y i n g l o c k " . O n e m a n

T h e c o a c h 234 l

silly errors by t h e players g a v e t h e o p p o r -

q u a l i f y i n g to t h e best 16 University t e a m s

leave t h e u n i o n o n Friday a f t e r n o o n ,

tunity for King's to r e d u c e the differ-

o f Britain.

O : 2 n t h e y g o t o f f t o a flyer a n d c r a s h e d W J X Ld a s s i s t e d ) O : 2 n t h e p i t c h to put

p r e f e r a b l y s o m e t i m e a r o u n d >? m a n d

e n c e t o 4 p o i n t s by half t i m e .

Friday 12th F e b r u a r y .

over a penalty.

t h e r e 234 l b e a £ > e n t r a n c e f e e f r o m t h e start a n d e n d i n g p o i n t , a n d c o a c h 234 l l e a v e t h e b a s e at

After a short d o s e of

e l e c t r i c s h o c k t h e r a p y C+G D E F e u p to

e a c h t e a m m e m b e r . T h e b a s e 234 l b e the

around

b e 2 7 4 = : @ e to stay a r o u n d if t h e y 2 3 ; < .

If y o u t h o u g h t F u l h a m at Villa 2 B s g o o d r e p o r t , this 2 B s b e t t e r .

O n e m i n i b u s 23 4 l b e o n call at t h e

2 7 B P 7 6 7 d G HI n G i n o l a a a h 2 B s hit by a

o u r o l d tricks a g a i n d e m o n s t r a t e d a b l y

s t r o n g t a c k l e 2 m i n u t e s in. Q : 2 7 R 7 8 , his

by Wil l S t e v n s r u n n i n g t h r o u g h t h e R S M

replacement,

1 0 a m in t h e m o r n i n g , b u f p e o p l e 234 l

e a c h o t h e r all t h r o u g h t h e half. IC 2 B s

The

a i m is to visit e a c h o f 10 s e p a r a t e c h e c k -

around

2 3 5 h b o t h t e a m s 2 3 5 < 3 n 2- > p o i n t s o f

Friday February t h e 12th 234 l s e e t h e first ever Imperial C o l l e g e Night H i k e .

A cup-tie

"Supcrsub"

Raby,

2Bs

seal impressions.

Chris duly " m i s s e d "

i m m e d i a t e l y r e l e a s e d O : 2 n t h e right b y

t h e c o n v e r s i o n t o m a k e it 7-3. R S M ' s Y

2 3 4 d t h i n g a n d his t o u c h l i n e c r o s s ( h e

fronts D E Fe M 8 : 2 6 7 d a f e 2

s a i d shot) f l o a t e d o v e r t h e k e e p e r .

"The

later by o u r b o y c r a s h e r H y d e t o o k a

minutes

base , a l o n g 234 l a f e 2 cars at s t r a t e g i c

p l a y e d o n a blustery a f t e r n o o n 2 B s short-

D o c " W i l s o n finally s c o r e d after m i s s i n g

stroll t h r o u g h a c a s u a l d e f e n c e b e f o r e

base 234l b e con-

e n e d t o 4 0 m i n u t e s e a c h 2 B y after t h e

a hatful a n d 2 e

e x e c u t i n g a 9. > d i v e u n d e r t h e p o s t s .

c o a c h driver d e c i d e d t o t a k e t h e s c e n i c

g a i n a c o n s o l a t i o n g o a l S2 e D E F e S t a n ' s

route.

hattrick c a m e after a q u i c k t h r o 2 f r o m

checkpoints. The

t a c t a b l e by t e l e p h o n e .

plan to

h ave 1 > t e a m s c o m p e t i n g . M o s t o f t h e

let t h e m t h r o u g h t o

[

T h e m i n e r s c o n t i n u e d to d o Y Z t they d o best a n d e n t r e n c h e d

them-

t e a m s a r e likely t o r e p r e s e n t s p e c i f i c

T h e first h a l f c o n t a i n e d all IC p r e s -

t h e D o c b u t h e 2 B s n o t best p l e a s e d at

s e l v e s in o u r 22 e v e n t u a l l y t u n n e l l i n g

c l u b s or g r o u p s o f s t u d e n t s at c o l l e g e ,

s u r e , at t i m e s it s e e m e d that t h e y h a d a

his i m m e d i a t e s u b s t i t u t i o n , l e a d i n g t o

o v e r t h e l i n e . It all p r o v e d 2 : 8 5 < 4 7 ; s as

m a n less! T h e e x c e l l e n t s t a n d in d e f e n c e

later t h r e a t s o f r e f u s i n g t o s c o r e .

2 e f o r g e d b a c k u p t h e pitch 2 3 5 h s c o r e s

but a n y b o d y c a n e n t e r . If y o u ' r e i n t e r e s t e d in t a k i n g part as

s p e n t m o s t o f t h e i r half c a m p e d o u t in

O u r final goal constituted s u p e r b

a group of 4 people, then contact Mat

t h e c e n t r e circle t o a s t i n g @ B 8 ; < @ B 4 4 : 2 ; ,

t e a m play, W i l d T h i n g p a s s i n g t o B i g A l ,

f r o m o u r lads R i c h a n d S v e n . 24-8 at h a l f t i m e m e a n t t h e m i n e r s

Collins (m.a.collins@ic.ac.uk) or in t h e

it truly 2 B s 5 C @ M 4 7 2 7 7 d t i m e for g o a l i e

2 < o set Rivaldo off. H e laid it to t h e D o c

had d u g t h e m s e l v e s into a very d e e p

Resources Centre every Thursday f r o m

" C h a r g e r " C o l l i n s . T h e first c a m e f r o m a

2 < o duly r e t u r n e d t h e favour a n d Rivaldo

hole. R u m o u r s of pies under our posts

1:30 - 2:30.

c o r n e r , t h e ball f a l l i n g to

unmarked

f o u n d the top corner from distance.

brou g h t resurgent action f r o m captain

" S t a n " B o o t h 2 < o d r o v e it i n . A pile dri-

Rivaldo later said that h e t o o k a l o n g t i m e

c o c k e r e l 2 < o d r i l l e d o v e r to s c o r e after

v e r u n l e a s h e d by " W i l d t h i n g " W i l l i a m s

c o m i n g , b u t G HI n h e d i d it 2 B s s p e c -

a s m a l l t e c h n i c a l f o u l by t h e f u l l b a c k . It

HOCKEY

after c o n t i n u a l flair f r o m " G i n o l a a h " Giret

tacular, s h o o t i n g o v e r 20 y a r d s .

2 B s a false O B 2 6 , the r u m o u r s fools

IC III ( D i s c o S q . ) 4 - 1 Bart's II

g a v e us our s e c o n d .

T h e G a f f e r , p l e a s e O 2 3 5 h his G o r -

When

"The

o n d half, s t a t e d ( p a y i n g all d u e r e s p e c t )

s o m e notable achievements.

s u b t e r r a n e a n d r o p - g o a l , a m a x i m u m 10

2 3 5 h a great tackle by captain

Gaffer" Davenport, neat passing across

that " t oda y 2 B s a bit o f a h o l i d a y b e c a u s e

FOOTBALL

t h e f i e l d l e d by a first t i m e c r o s s f r o m

t h e y D E Fe c r a p " .

RSM I 0 - 2 G o l d s m i t h ' s I

" R i v a l d o " Raval a n d a s u p e r b yet s i m p l e

IC L a d i e s > -1 St. G e o r g e s

h e a d e r f r o m Stan.

it 2 : 8 P 7 d a n d 2 e

stormed

t h r o u g h to t h e q u a r t e r f i n a l s .

v e r s i o n , M i k e s ' first sprint over 20 m e t r e s a n d >0 b i g o n e s . T h a n k s a l s o t o A s h l e y Jarvis for c o m -

in t h e s e c o n d h a l f D E F e f u r t h e r p l a y i n g

i n g o u t t o H a r l i n g t o n to a d m i n i s t e r .

I C S M 3 - 1 6 A 7 2 = B ; 5 4 e ( s e e P a g e 2)

d CAG:

Tools

for

S e l f C o n s o c : T o n y Baldry M P Siv J a n s s o n :

Reliance, B a s e m e n t of V e n u e T B C Beit Q u a d

Fear & L o a t h i n g C l u b XS, ICU, FREE

Small Soldiers Exorcist

6 p m P o p Tarts £1

6pm 8.30pm

8pm

ment

Kitchen, Weeks 8pm

Cocktail N i g h t , DaVinci's

>`a1 p m

C A G : S o u p Run, Basement Hall

Kitchen, Weeks 8pm

Sun 7

Sat 6

C o m e d y ICUSF: P i c o c o n 16 (SI 8 p m fantasy

convention) -

ICU b u i l d i n g , £ >

10am

9 p m - 2 a m SF Film Dark City

6pm

W h i p l a s h (Rock & M e t a l ) C A G : Soup Run, BaseHall

STA Bar Trivia D a V i n c i ' s

Small Soldiers 8.30pm

9pm-lam

6 p m ICU C i n e m a

Fear&Loathing8.30pm

C l u b bcde0

>]^_ ? m ICU C i n e m a

6pm

ICU C i n e m a Alien

L i t e r a t u r e P h o e n i x M e e t i n g 1 2 p m Bust-A-Gut

1 p m o n Film, C e n t r a l Library

6 p m C & G U Bar N i g h t , U n i o n Level 2 Bar

Fri

Thurs 4

Wed 3

Tues 2

C l a y p o n d s C i n e m a Trip contact lan.doyle@ic...

T h e first

points dive f r o m davo, Charlie's con-

Ev en t h o u g h at t i m e s 2 e D E F e a bit random,

IC, p l a y i n g u p h i l l a n d i n t o t h e 2 3 6 d

Mon 1

the

s m o k e c l e a r e d C+G h a d n o t c h e d

IC Ladies II 0 - 4 Q M W II

RUGBY

g o l d , t h e try fest b e g a n .

d o n S t r a c h a n i m p r e s s i o o n in t h e s e c -

The final g oa l of the half started

IC Ladies I 2 - 0 Bart's

dBs

8pm-12am

played in t h e centre o f t h e pitch.

This

f ~ s e "Captian-for-the-day" M i l n e r

s h o n e , a n o m n i p r e s e n t force,

relent-

lessly f g g g p o s s e s s i o n a n d t h e n d i s O n finding ourselves fghh only players f e s tru ck a d e a l f g h h t h e l a d i e s f o o t b a l l

W e a r r i v e d at t h e v e n u e i n h i g h spirits,

A f t e r six s apart, t h e R S M m a c h i n e

patching t h e fg mw s as R S M believed

fully e x p e c t i n g a tassle o f j o y a g a i n s t t h e

r e a s s e m b l e d last S a t u r d a y f o r a l e a g u e

that s o o n o n e c h a n c e f u n d b e c o n -

t e a m , s o that i e playe d f o o t b a l l f o r

fiesty Bart's

XI. After p u s h e y , i e dis-

fixture fgh h f o l l o f sturgglers G o l d s m i t h ' s .

verted.

t h e m (I s c o r e d a n jk n g o a l ) a n d t h e y

p l a y e d o u r skills t o t h e c o c k y o p p o s i t i o n

c a m e t o play h o c k e y f o r u s . T h e h o c k e y

f o r a full { k o m i n u t e s b e f o r e t h e y e v e n

extended vu mf~wd leg of the season

Goldsmith's

m a t c h k l s brilliant, f g h h t h e f o o t b a l l e r s

t o u c h e d t h e ball. | u f m } m w , i e t h o u g h t

f g h h t m a y p r o v e t o b e t h e first o f

plenty o f support.

Thank y o u

RSM

began

n o i an

Yet it k l s a f t e r o n e s u c h at t ac k that quickly a n d fghh

broke

The RSM defence

f e o p q e o n t o a loser r st n Bart's f l i c k e d

m a n y six-point g a m e s , a s t h e m i n e r ' s

f ~ s split a s a n excellent p i e c e o f play pre-

O i l y for p l a y i n g i n g o a l . W e m a d e sev-

themselves ahead.

attempt to d i g their i y o u t o f a rele-

sented a G o l d s m i t h uwf~w d fghh a n

eral g o o d a t t a c k s , b u t n e v e r q u i t e m a n -

t e e t h , p u t o u r sticks t o t h e f o r e a n d

gation hole.

excellent c h a n c e , t o o g o o d t o miss. H e

aged t o get any goals. Everyone played

thrust o u r s e l v e s u p o n t h e m .

Fabababio

Communication and language prob-

really f m n l t h o u g h a n d i e o p q e q u i t e

f ~ s t h e first t o f i n d t h e c h i n k i n t h e i r

l e m s left t h e a s s e m b l e d t e a m f g h v u t a

unlucky to lose.

armoured underpants, scoring a blinding

keeper, but skipper Masefield pulled a n

m a k i n g great d e f e n d e r s .

set p i e c e .

W e gritted o u r

B e f o r e half-time Bart's o p q e

g a s p i n g f o r b r e a t h r st n i e p e n e t r a t e d

second

time, T h e Scumdant

R S M ' s play a l t h o u g h a s t h e s a n d ' s o f t i m e M e n o p qe h v w u f n u w f ~ w d i n a last d i t c h a t t e m p t .

A s t h e f v g x h n e b l e f it i s o b v i o u s

p u t t i n g t h e final thrust in t o p u t t h e

that this k l s t o b e a n e v e n s t r u g g l e f g h h neither side taking control.

Half-time

came

a n d fm h, a n d Catalogue,

o p e n i n g g o a l f r o m H i g h l a n d e r , b u t St

a s s i s t e d b y Larger Larger a n d Thrill M u f f ,

G e o r g e s q u i c k l y e a u a l i s e d r st n M i n t y

f ~ s s l a p p i n g t h e ball i n t o m a k e t h e

ruined her uhvmwfgxe

score

t o t h e G o l d e n B o y s . T h e final

p o i n t s o p q e still

step-

score to

before l o n g Indian Carpet

¡ m i n u t e s left,

available s u c h h a d b e e n t h e quality of

p i n g in t o fill a b s e n t N i c k Perrier's b o o t s .

Skid

Early d o m i n a t i o n s o o n r e s u l t e d i n a n

perfect half by

a c e f r o m his sieve, Lanre Smith

didn't.

Both sides

e l a p s e d s o d i d t h e belief.

With

minutes to g o Goldsmith's

keeper a n d captain p r o d u c e d a save

e n j o y e d g o o d spells o n t k l s a h e a v -

that

ily s o d d e n H a r l i n g t o n p i t c h , still r e c o v -

league.

e r i n g f r o m t h e p r e v i o u s s r a i n .

met from about

Despite conditions the football i s

, f g h h b o t h s i d e s p l a y i n g intelli-

A sharp cross f r o m Milner i s

Spike's head.

yards o u t by D o u g

T h e ball z i p p e d f r o m h i s

h e a d h u f ~ w ¢ s t h e t o p left c o r n e r , until a n

beyond

b l o f t o Bart's f e e b l e a t t e m p t s at resis-

gently.

'keeper Flo t o level t h e score. A half

t a n c e c a m e r st n F u l l t u m , z u f m w m d b y

both ends, t h e lion's share o f qhicxh

out, a n d seemingly crushed the R S M

t i m e b o l l o c k i n g f r o m t h e c a p t a i n a n d IC

his p l u m s o f fire, s l a m m e d t h e ball h o m e

o p q e falling t o t h e h o m e s i d e k o s o m e h o f m a n a g e d t o s p u r n f o u r o r five g o o d

spirit.

c h a n c e s i n c l u d i n g a back post

happened and Goldsmith's double the

helping nudge

t h e ball just

I t h a n k y o u , o p q e g o i n g all t h e

returned to t h e battleground fired u p ,

fghh Highlander getting h e r s e c o n d f g hv g n y m i n u t e s . Balls o p q e f v g z z m d i n

f~ .

beautifully

fff u ~ h u |u m nnnx.

from

corners

a n d runs.

Read

about

our

expliots

C h a n c e s o p q e b e i n g c r e a t e d at

i s f u w h h three points in a n y

volley

With m e n uwf~wd t h e inevitable

f r o m W i l l i a m s after a c r o s s f r o m t h e right

l e a d a n d i £ n t h e m a t c h f g h h a fairly

beat t h e G o l d s m i t h ' s back line.

scrappy goal.

T h e s e c o n d half b e g a n a s if t h e inter-

Gonads got o n e a n d Ginger got the next... G e o r g e ' s c o l l a p s e d a n d H i g h -

val h a d n e v e r h a p p e n e d .

lander t o p p e d o f f a n excellent s e c o n d

f~s again penetrating although as time t o n m o r e a n d m o r e o f it k l s b e i n g

half b y c l a i m i n g a d e s e r v e d hat-trick.

by G n a t C h u m

o u t s t a n d i n g r e a c t i o n s a v e k e p t t h e ball

T h e football

N o t t h e result r e q u i r e d b y R S M m a s sive b u t t h e q u a l i t y o f f o o t b a l l s h o u l d m a k e p r e m i e r s h i p survival a certainty.

Fight f g h h t h e q u e e n f o r t o o l .

¤ S u s s b e t o f lesser g r o u p s . 9

Push to avoid putting o n fmg vh.

Lit r a c e p r o d u c e s p e r f o r m a n c e .

L u b r i c a t i n g after U n i t e d N a t i o n s g e t

Bucket o f quiet s o u n d i n g beer.

caught rolling out.

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0 C o n f u s e d y o u t h h a s right t o g o in.

ness.

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C a n e p l a n t s m a k e castors?

French h ead .

M r B r u c e D a b d r o p s t h i s a s a result

2 Yellof feline.

of messy eating.

4 Cricket c o m m e n t a t o r h a s n o t i m e

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f o r ph on e

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in u n d e r g r o u n d

layer. 3 G a r m e n t m a d e o f p e r s p i r a t i o n is t o p . )

m i n c e d offal.

6 M o is after t h e m u c k y s l o b f o r c a u s -

8 I a m r a z o r o f five f e e t !

ing hayfever?

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7 Have a disjointedaffair fghh previous partner tightening muscles.

4 Is CIS g e t s t o g e t h e r , c o u l d b e f a n -

9 Polaroid moment? 3 In F r a n c e , t h e y e a r is n o t f a t t e n i n g ?

tastic.

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6 Get m e to n a g about explosive force. (7) 7 M a k i n g a n o r t h cut in s h i p is h o l y .

d d

This s p r i z e , g e n e r o u s l y s u p p l i e d b y W a t e r s t o n e ' s at IC, is a

l : ,

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Waterstone's

v o u c h e r . Entries t o t h e Felix o f f i c e ( o n t h e right a s y o u g o i n t o Beit Q u a d ) . T h e f g n e r fgn l b e r a n d o m l y ¢ w ~ f n f r o m c o r r e c t e n t r i e s r e c e i v e d W e d n e s d a y a n d a n n o u n c e d n e x t .

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