Holden on Gatsby

By Ashley Jallen [an

imitation]

Iwasjust laying there thinking about old Jane, thinking I’d maybe give her a buzz to see if she was home yet and all, but I wasn’t in the mood. What I decided to do instead, I decided to read a goddam book. I’m sort of illiterate, but I read a lot. I really do. I went in old Phoebe’s room and sat on her bed with this book I was reading. I don’t know why but I felt so damn happy whenever I was in her room, even when she wasn’t there.

The book I was reading was The Great Gatsby. You probably heard of it. It was a very good book. I read it before, but there were parts I wanted to read over again. I loved the goddam book. Old Gatsby, calling people “Old sport.” That killed me. When I was all done reading it for the first time I wanted to call up old F. Scott Fitzgerald on the phone, sort of like he was a terrific friend of mine. But he was dead and all so I couldn’t. What really knocked me out was the goddam ending. Old Daisy wouldn’t tell anyone she killed Myrtle driving Gatsby’s goddam car. So Gatsby, old sport, got shot by Myrtle’s bastard husband. It drives me crazy when somebody gets killed and it’s somebody else’s fault. His death, that was Daisy’s fault. It drove me mad. I mean, Gatsby was about the only guy in the whole book who wasn’t a phony. Those bastards Tom and Daisy Buchanan, they were phonies. God, I hate that.

Those bastards Tom and Daisy didn’t die, but old Gatsby did. It depressed holy hell out of me. So did Nick Carraway. He was always sore and all, naturally. But he wasn’t a phony. Old Nick went sort of crazy at the end because he knew everything. That poor bastard. What made it even more depressing, everyone was always oiled up in Gatsby. All those damn parties Gatsby was throwing. People always had highballs in their hand back then, if you want to know the truth.

Lizzy Kristal “A Worthless Framing”

Anyway, I was reading the part when Daisy and Gatsby kissed for the first time and how she “blossomed” and all. That killed me. It made me think of old Jane. When I was kissing her all over, but not on her mouth and all. Thinking about Jane made me think about that sexy bastard Stradlater when he took her out. Probably tried to give her the time. That made me so damn nervous. God, I hate that. I tried to keep thinking about Jane and not Stradlater. I couldn’t do it without remembering Stradlater and his damn good build trying to giver Jane the time, so I sort of just went back to reading.

The more I read, the more Daisy annoyed hell out of me. She wasn’t exactly a whore or anything, but what I really don’t understand too hot is why she kissed Gatsby in the first place. She was married and all. She acted all lousy when Gatsby wanted to run away with her. She made it seem like she was goddam trying to be with him, but she wasn’t. She really wasn’t. And she didn’t even love Tom either. That killed me. Gatsby the old sport was practically crazy about Daisy. He was always throwing her parties and trying to “grasp” the green light and all. I guess he liked her more than me. He even died for her. I just don’t understand why, that’s all. Anyway, everything about goddam Gatsby was so bourgeois. I mean, seriously. Gatsby’s house, Gatsby’s car, Gatsby’s parties. What I thought he was, I thought he was better off without all that money he was so mad about. I mean really. Goddam money. It always ends up making you depressed as hell. It really did. I doubt very much if he didn’t have so much money that Daisy would want so much to do with him. Not that she really did when he had money, anyway. But maybe if he wasn’t bourgeois as hell he wouldn’t have died. I mean he wouldn’t have thrown all those parties or lived in that goddam house Daisy was so crazy about. I don’t care, I just hate how much money controls every phony in the goddam story. Boy, that book was depressing. At least, when you know how it ends.

I really did like the book, though. I was crazy about it. Gatsby wasn’t a phony. And almost everyone is a goddam phony. But not that old sport Gatsby. I sort of felt bad for the guy. Everything he wanted ruined him entirely. Poor bastard. All for that phony Daisy. What I liked about Gatsby, he didn’t give people a bunch of horse manure about what a great guy he was. He knocked people out and all, but he didn’t really care. All he cared about was Daisy. And she was a phony but that didn’t make him a phony. He wasn’t as cool and nonchalant as everyone thought he was. He sort of always needed reassurance. Especially from old Nick. That’s why Gatsby wasn’t a phony. He was nervous as hell. And I’m quite a nervous guy too.

2017-18

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Editor in Chief - Dianne Caravela Assistant Editor in Chief - Quinn Christensen

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