BOND. THE LOST AND FOUND ISSUE 01
BOND. 2016
FIRST SPECIAL EDITION
04 18 36 CONTENTS
04 - LOST 15 - THANKYOU MUM 18 - TOGETHER 33 - FALSE HOPE 36 - FOUND 52 - THINKING OUT LOUD
BOND 01
Editors Letter Exclusivley a fashion and lifestyle magazine, BOND is here to captivate the most important aspects of your life. This first special edition delves deep into modern day relationships, be that a relationship with yourself or with others. Here at BOND we aim to really connect with our readers on a personal level, this is why we work closely with relatable and real people everyday. We decided that our first edition would be based around relationships because of their sheer importance to our sanity- without friends, family and loved ones, I’m pretty sure we would all struggle at some point! In this issue we have discussed battles but also celebrated triumphs within different kinds of relationships. We aim to inspire, excite and intrigue you through means of images and words. Enjoy.
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LOST L
oosing your self in a book – great. Loosing yourself in a new TV series – also great. It’s good to be able to loose yourself sometimes in things that give you comfort and safety. But loosing yourself completely is a whole different feeling all together. In a world where every day is a constant competition, who has the most expensive make-up, who has the best designer handbag or fastest car, it is really quite easy to see how more and more people are beginning to loose themselves in a sea of clones. Finding your own individual self-worth and purpose in this world is probably one of the most difficult things to achieve, especially when everyone is so quick to judge and question you. You can’t be afraid of change and you can’t be afraid to grow as a person. If you don’t fit in in this society, there will surely be a real struggle for you to overcome. It’s not even asif this only happens to a small, insignificant minority of people. It’s spread everyday across every single different type of media about the most famour celebrities having major ‘meltdowns’ at the thought of their 6 month marrige to a person they’ve known for five minutes, not working out. Crazy, right? There is nothing more important in this life than being able to love yourself and have some strong self-esteem. When you learn to love yourself more, things which may have seemed to be difficult before, suddenly feel a hell of alot easier. When you have a better opinion of youself you’ll slowly stop trying to get attention and validation from other people. Finding an inner stability and not being as needy will all come naturally when you begin to self-love. Budding journalist Abbie Lye tells us in her own words about loosing herself over the past few years and hoping that eventualy her confidence will grow with her.
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People. Like literally all people these days make me cry with laughter, the way they all brown-nose each other constantly. Like seriously a ‘like-for-like’ on Instagram? Is this serious or a joke? When did people literally start measuring their popularity and self-worth with likes on a photo or how many followers they have! It is beyond me. I’ve never really been one of these girls that are in the ‘cool crowd’, it hasn’t bothered me up until recent years where people have questioned why I try and distance myself from these little cliques.
In school I was bullied quite a lot for being the outsider, people just couldn’t understand that I wanted to keep myself to myself and didn’t want to rub my nose in everyone else’s business and gossip all the time. It’s still the same today really, I’m 22 and still I find people bitching and talking about each other none stop. “Why don’t you have any friends?” people used to ask me, I felt like saying to them “you do realise half these people you call ‘friends’ speak badly about you on a daily basis?’ but that, unfortunately, is just not me. I was always ridiculed for not dressing or acting the way everyone else my age did, give a shit. I’m so sad that I have literally let these people’s negative thoughts and actions impact me in a way I never thought possible. I used to get invited on nights out and just not turn up just because of the sheer fear held in me of which girls would be there and what they would say about my outfit. I’m slowly getting a lot better and my confidence is a long way off what I would like, but I can finally start seeing the old me again.
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But don’t get me wrong; all of these people that judge me and laugh at me are literally nothing compared to the way I make myself feel. I’m my own worst enemy just like a lot of people out there. I give my self more of a hard time than anyone else ever has, that’s probably most of the problem. I still don’t really know what I even want to do with my life, are you meant to know that at 22? I’ve had about 4 jobs in the last 3 years and have started a journalism course at University. Is that what I want to do with my life? Who knows? I defiantly don’t have the answers at the moment and fear that I wont do for quite a long time to come.
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“It is easier to live through someone else than to complete yourself. The freedom to lead and plan your own life is frightening if you have never faced it before. It is frightening when a woman finally realizes that there is no answer to the question 'who am I' except the voice inside herself.” ― Betty Friedan
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I JUST WANT TO BE FREE.
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“I need to start believing in myself more, I know that I am more than capable of achieving what I want too - once I get over my initial anxiety, then I’ll be able to really start rebuilding my confidence.” - ABBIE LYE BOND 14
THANKYOU MUM. CREATIVE WRITING BY RUBY MAE RIBBONS
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Mum loves a drink. Honestly she’s always the life and soul of the party, I don’t understand why dad gets angry with her really. All she wants to do is have a good time and he causes argument after argument- getting pretty tedious if I’m honest. I’ll always remember her smell, such a poignant scent. I idolise the way she’s so confident and bubbly. I want to be like her when I’m older, such charisma, and such poise. They split up. Inevitable right? Whose parents aren’t splitting up these days anyway? No biggie. Even at the ripe age off 11 I could still sense a change in my mothers daily routine. Waking up late and hanging her head in dismay. Is she really that torn up about Dad? Surely not. This is something deeper than heartache. I console her, trying to be the best daughter possible. I realise that this is the impossible. I cannot fix what does not what to be fixed. I cannot heal what will not be healed. That ‘poignant scent’ I mentioned before? I have now realised that this is the stench of alcohol and not of my mother. What an awful poison. My beautiful, happy mother now a shell of herself. How did it come to this? I come home. Crash. Bang. Mum’s fallen over. Again. Depression slowly captivating my now weak and shameful Idol. An inner demon fighting so hard to take her for good, luring her into his ugly cave of no return. Time passes. Men pass. Drinks pass. Memories pass. Family Pass. School passes and eventually so does she. Met a new man, off she goes. Thank you. I suppose nobody can understand another’s decision until they themselves are in that battle. A broken woman leaves me with an even more broken life. Abandonment it feels like. How do I comprehend the events of this month? Loneliness, anguish and disappointment. I pray to myself to grow into an elegant young woman- hard though it seems. Please, for the love of all that is sacred, I ask myself. Leave these disheartening memories in the past, but remember lessons learnt from them. The years proceed and I grow with the stigma in my head. Did I drive mum away? Was all of this my fault? Surely it must be, she changed for a stranger and not for me. Not for us, her beloved children. 10 years sober and a new family like a bullet to the heart. Forgiveness is a golden trait, which I have gained from you and I forgive you with all my heart. My dear mother I love you and all that you are and have achieved. Your life has taught me I can overcome anything – as you have. You are my inspiration and my motivation; and for that I cannot thank you enough.
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TOGETHER
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I
n an age where we probably look at our iPhones more than we do each other it’s easy to understand the pressures of young people in a relationship. With hundreds of dating sites easily accessible by the click of a button it’s not a wonder than people are becoming increasingly insecure within their relationships. Even things like Facebook with the ease to browse who and where you want at anytime. A worry for many men and women is that this online temptation, which is so easily pushed upon us, actually becomes a reality; the thing is people disregard their relationships so easily these days. Everyone seems to always have other ‘options’ just in case something bad happens. Surely this can’t be what the world is coming too? I bet you’re grandma and granddad didn’t have ‘options’ back in their day. I sat down with Luke and Robyn, a young couple who experience trails and tribulations every day in their relationship and they tell how they continue to work through them. When did you first meet each other? L: We’ve been within the same friendship group for years, I’ve always fancied her but never had the balls to ask her on a date. Obviously I’m really glad that I finally found some courage from somewhere! R: We met like 3 or 4 years ago, I used to fancy him too but always had that ‘I don’t want to ruin our friendship’ kind of thing going round in my head. How long have you been together? R: We’ve been together officially for just over a year now but we were dating for quite a long time before that! It’s so difficult these days because everyone is so bloody interested in what your up too, who your dating and when your going to make it ‘Facebook official’! It honestly did my head in so much.
What would you say is the biggest outside influence is on your relationship? L: Well I’m at Newcastle University so obviously I live up here, and Robyn lives back in Leeds! That is probably in my mind the biggest influence in our relationship. It is so difficult because we both have completely different lives at the moment, Robyn works during the week and I’ve not really got much of a routine – living the standard ‘Uni lifestyle’ if you know what I mean. R: I don’t think the distance is an issue at all; it’s only a two-hour drive for god sake (laughs). We both drive as well so that’s really not an issue for me to be honest! I think the biggest outside influence is again, other people interfering and trying to know what is going on ALL the time. I’ll tell my close friends if we fall out or anything, but I honestly don’t understand why people who hardly know us are so keen to get all the inside information. Strange. Also, he lives in a house full of guys so they obviously have quite a big influence on him. I know he wants to be with me but then he’s got them in his ear telling him to not forget that he’s a ‘lad’… Hmmmm.
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How do you keep your relationship alive? L: All kinds of things. (laughs) No I’m only joking. We honestly really try to always do new and exciting things! We love going on day trips and seeing different things, we’ve actually just recently been to New York together for my birthday which was really nice. R: Yeah I mean, we don’t really get to see each other as much as your average couple, so when we do we like to do something Wthat neither of u have done before, making memories and all that! What do you think are the key factors of any relationship? L: Am I allowed to say sex? Well yeah, I think that’s obviously really important! That, trust and commitment. R: Oh for god sake! (Laughs). I think yeah I kind of agree, all those things. But I think it’s really important for you to have a good friendship as well, as stupid as that sounds. I can’t really explain myself. I just think that your boyfriend should definitely be your best friend as well- you need to laugh a lot other wise I think it would just get boring. Do you think you guys have these? R: Yeah I think we do, I trust him 100%! It’s other people who I don’t trust (laughs) girls can be so sneaky and vindictive, especially if we’ve had some kind of disagreement in the past. Luke’s an attractive guy so I wouldn’t put it past people to try and give him a cheeky kiss! L: I don’t think I would be with her if we didn’t. It is sad but there are definately rules and regulations as to what you need in a relationship! Without them I just don’t think you could have a healthy relationship.
What are your favourite things about each other? L: Erm. Obviously her body... Again, I’m joking (shoots a quick glance at Robyn). Would probably have to be her loyalty, me and the lads know so many girls and these days they literally just do anything for attention. Robyns not like that, she’s got her head screwed on right and has really good intentions! What more could I ask for. R: I love it when he shows me affection, I think he tries to play the ‘manly man’ alot of the time.. But when it’s just me and him, I don’t know its’s weird. It’s like a side that only I see but it’s nice and private, I love that. And what do you see for yourselves in the future? R: God, it’s abit early to be thinking about ‘the future’, I think thats another thing what Luke probably likes about me- I’m very chilled out and I don’t understand why everyone seems to want to rush and have babies and get married! We’re just enjoying life at the moment and having fun with each other, who knows what the future holds! L: Exciting times! Loads and loads of exciting times. I can’t really imagine myself doing the things I want to do with anyone else in the world. So for the future I see us being a very solid unit!
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“We work because we trust each trust each other, without that trust we wouldn’t be half as strong as we are today.”
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ROBYN AND LUKE BOND 31
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FALSE HOPE
CREATIVE WRITING BY RUBY MAE RIBBONS
This relentless thing called love How is it measured? Or known to be true What a callous world we live in. There she sits, innocent in mind But guilty in her actions. How can she forgive herself? Let alone expect him to forgive. Thick as a thief, Dark as the night Betrayal still running under her skin A monster formed from within. One moment in time Causing a life lived with a cold heart. A head full of sour thoughts A body full of doubt. What a shame, A world full of love to give But unable to give it To a perfect human. The unspoken agreement of trust A bond of thoughts unhinged Desire to be grounded But to also run free The world he would give her, if not more And here she stands unable to feel Unable to think Empty.
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Dishonesty it begins to rupture Like breaking bones From the weight on upon her back How does one carry this secret? A dark shadow a cast on her being A woman of her word she longs to be To be the best friend, best partner Will her deceit ever descend? Why can’t she love the way she should? Endlessly and honestly Lost in the past is her ability to feel Her mental state, jaded The disputes they begin to unfold Caused by a natural force. Or unleashed by something much deeper Something wicked. His queen, his centre Easy he knew it would not be. A false sense of security is alluded A false sense of hope. Like prey to his predator Trapped in her hungry clasp Disorientated and blinded by love Will he ever be freed?
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FOUND S
ophie Bell is a keen dancer and Law studier who knows what she wants and what she needs to do to get it. She has more confidence than anyone we have seen before at BOND and it shows in her shoot. She owns the room when she walks in, over-powering but ever so friendly and so excited. With clearly an impeccable relationship with herself, we jump straight in and she doesn’t dissapoint. We have held back on the words a little here, as we think sophies aura on camera simply speaks for itself.
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CONFIDENT
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INDEPENDENT BOND 42
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SOPHIE BOND 49
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BELL BOND 45
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YOUNG FREE AND SINGLE
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THINKING OUT LOUD CREATIVE WRITING BY RUBY MAE RIBBONS
BOND 53
Jesus Christ. It’s Monday again and all I’ve got to show for it is a 3-day hangover, regret and around 5 pounds added to my arse. That’s it, no more wasting my money on endless white wines and takeaways, I NEED a boyfriend. How is it possible that all at the same time all of my friends have somehow obtained these ‘amazing’ boyfriends who do all of this ‘amazing’ crap for them. I’m sorry, but are our deep 4am conversations about how useless men are and how we don’t need them simply forgotten about? What happened to girl power and the good old ‘hoes before bros’? Every time they need a wing-woman, there I am stepping up to the mark. The few times I need them they drop me like a sack of shit. Fair? I think not. They always say to me if I just stop obsessing with finding the one then he’ll just run right into my arms. Yeah. Like that sounds legit! Literally a boyfriend would make my life right now. I do everything right, I can’t understand why the men I like don’t like me? I’m 23, a Law Graduate, easy to get on with, laid-back, cracking pair of legs. All I need is an absolute hunk and I’m well on my way to achieving serious life goals. What on earth must they be thinking? Can they sense the desperation? Ha! Don’t be stupid. Of course they can’t. Shit. Wait. What if they can? What if that’s the reason I scare off every single man I ever come across… Right new plan, you get your shit together woman! You get your hair done, get a new dress and go out with the girls. Show them men what they’re missing, and your married-off mates how to really have fun. Can I really be bothered will someone on my back 24/7 – ‘Where have you been?’ ‘Where are you going?’ ‘Why are you wearing that?’ ‘Can’t we stay in and cuddle tonight?’ URGH no thank you, I’m quite ok with my ladies and a bottle (or 5) of Prosecco tonight. Yeah that’s right, prove to everyone that you’re absolutely fine. Life is better single anyway. Back to square one. Single, crazy, white wine-filled life is also definitely not for me. Why do I have to be labelled? ‘Single’, ‘In a Relationship’ or ‘It’s Complicated’. How about just being fine all by myself with no attachments and no worries. Is my life really revolving around whether or not I have a boyfriend? Embrace those cosy Saturday nights in! Throw your comfies on, cup of tea, favourite Tom Hardy film on the TV- Sorted. What if the answer to all my problems isn’t a man or a good night out with the girls? Why am I constantly trying to prove my happiness to others? I wonder when I started actually measuring my happiness and success against how other people perceived me. Weird. Maybe I need to get to grips with the fact that I am genuinely the only person who can make me happy. Remember what mum always used to drab on about? “You need to love yourself before anyone else can love you.” Yeah, I think I’ll start there.
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BOND. 2016
FIRST SPECIAL EDITION
BOND. THE LOST AND FOUND ISSUE 01