april 2012
EDITOR’S LETTER image by Andres Reynaga
It’s a show that has captured the hearts and minds of RWD Towers; we only had ‘a hour’ with Andrew ‘Ashley’ Brooke and Javone ‘Jerwayne’ Prince, but we caught some serious lolz with the PhoneShop duo. When it came to choosing this month’s cover, we reached into the small screen for our favourite TV show on Channel 4 (apart from Homeland, obvs). Yep, welcome to our annual ‘Comedy Special’, following on from last year’s Adam Deacon/ Anuvahood issue. We not only catch joke with the PhoneShop crew, we take to the big screen to see what’s up with this year’s Superbad, Project X, and see what other laughathons we can look forward to at the cinema this year. Our Final Word is Son Of Rambow’s Will Poulter, a young man who knows more than a thing or two about the art of cracking jokes. We also check out new talent on the rise; Morgana Robinson, Seann Walsh, Elis James, Jazzie Zonzola and James Acaster, five up and comer’s who are getting grins on faces all over the UK. It’s not only people what are on the telly that are funny; our own Danny Walker can sometimes be quite mirthsome too. Check Walks and JME in this month’s RWD & Come Again. It’s some funny stuff. Of course, we’re not just playing it for laughs. We find out what the brilliant Santigold has been up to, and meet brilliant bassman Sub Focus. Seeing as it’s nearly that time of year, Toddla T fills us in on festival essentials, while our friend Fazer gives us the latest goings-on with all things Dappy and Tulisa. Other excellent talent includes Scrufizzer, Lady Leshurr, Mic Righteous and Jakwob, while we also introduce you to new actress Anna Nightingale. Now, I’m no stand-up comedian, but before I go allow me to tell you a joke. Here’s my favourite of the month, courtesy of ‘CEO of Fun’ Danny Walker. Why was 10 afraid of 7? Cos 7, 8, 9. BOOM!
RWD TEAM Editor Deputy Editor Senior Staff Writer Contributing Editor Online Editor Contributors
@hattiecollins @dannywalker1 @Nardenescott @chantellefiddy @tegosigel Alex Johnson, Ralph Hardy, Greg Bond, Francesca Dunn, Jerry Gadiano, Natasha Parris, Felix Kemp
Art Director Dacre J. Bracey Designer @_wall01 Fashion Stylists PC Williams, Neesha Sharma, Style Pages Editors Irene Asanji Sophie Robinson Style Assistant Cheyenne Davide Illustrators Art Jaz, Jiro Bevis, David Flanagan, Mike Foster Photographers James Pearson-Howes, Andres Reynega, Response London, Adrian Nettleship, Verena Stefanie Grotto, Simeon Coates, James Carnegie, Ravi Sidhu, Kieran Pharoah Publisher Nigel Wells Sales Director Paul LeFevre Senior Sales Matthew Richards Alex Powell Opperations Mngr Martin Ferguson Thanks Bob Austin
CONTACT RWD W107 Holywell Centre, 1 Phipp Street, London EC2A 4PS Tel: 020 3176 4299 Email: staff@rwdmag.com
@hattiecollins
CONTRIBUTOR OF THE MONTH FELIX KEMP Born in Bethnal Green, Felix (who sounds like Michael from Eastenders, truth) now lives in Forest Gate. “After iLL Manors comes out, it will probably register,” laughs the Sacha Baron Cohen fan of the area that inspired Plan B’s forthcoming film. Talking of screen, Kemp is also in the movie biz; having once made tea for Ridley Scott (amazing), he recently found himself in Shoreditch filming for RWD. “I basically shove my camera in celebrity faces, and make something of the resulting mess,” he tell us of his role at RWD. Having filmed last month’s cover (Plan B), as well as this month’s PhoneShop duo, check out Felix’s work over at RWDmag.com. Lastly, tell us a joke please. “‘What nut has no shell?’ A donut’...” (*tumbleweed*).
RWD Magazine is published monthly by Rewind Creative Media Ltd. All material copyright (c). All rights reserved. This publication may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, in whole or in part, without the express written permission of the publishers. RWD Magazine: 25p where sold Disclaimer: While every effort is made to ensure the information in this magazine is correct, changes can occur which affect the accuracy of copy, for which RWD holds no responsibility. The opinions of the contributors do not necessarily bear a relation to those of RWD Magazine or it’s staff and we disclaims liability for those impressions. Distributed nationally. RWD is a member of the Audit Bureau of Circulations
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AVAILABLE TO PRE-ORDER RIGHT NOW! Free UK Delivery available. Terms and Conditions apply. See Amazon.co.uk for details.
CONTENTS 01/04/2012
REGULARS
FEATURES
8-9 10-11 12 14-15
INBOX 1&2 CHECK IN/ CHECK OUT ENOUGH ALREADY: ANNOYING ADULT ANIMAL HATS ASICS ONE TO WATCH: ANNA NIGHTINGALE, ALBY DANIELS, ETHERWOOD 16-17 UPFRONT WITH: ANDY TURNER 22-23 ABOUT TO BLOW WITH *ECKÕ UNLTD: JAKWOB 82 FINAL WORD: WILL POULTER
18-20 44-48 50-52 54-55 56-58 60-61 62-63
STYLE GUIDE
UNWIND
25-37 STYLE STORY: GOOD WOOD 38-39 STYLE NEWS 40 PALLADIUM COMPETITION
65-70 73-75 76-77 78-79 80-81
6 / RWDMAG.COM
RWD: THE LEGACY ALBUM COVER STORY: PHONESHOP FUTURE FUNNY CONVERSE BLOCK PARTY RWD & COME AGAIN: HOW TO MAKE A SPOOF SUB FOCUS SANTIGOLD
FESTIVAL GUIDE: TODDLA T GAMES UNWIND INTERVIEW: FAZER FILMS PROJECT X
INBOX
This issue, we’ve collected only the liveliest literature to line our Inbox. The most inspirational of which comes from our new RWD favourite Ofi – for his troubles he wins an OnLive Wireless Controller taking revolutionary cloud gaming technology to another level! For more see onlive.com... Send your letters to: Attn. Editor, RWD Magazine,
W107 Holywell Centre, 1 Phipp Street, London, EC2A 4PS or staff@RWDmag.com
LETTER OF THE MONTH:
Re: RWD MAGAZINE CURED ME!!! Hello RWD, firstly I’d just like to say I’ve been a fan of the magazine ever since you put Kano – remember him – on the cover dressed as Tony Montana aka Scarface. That was fab. Before I say how RWD cured me I’d just like to thank you for all of the hard work and dedication you put in as a team. I would have done this in person but I didn’t get an invite to your 10th anniversary party *cries*; I heard that was fab too. So how did RWD cure me? Back in 2005 times I had a horrible accident whilst trying to open a can of Heinz Beanz with Pork Sausages using only a garden tool. I don’t want to rake (for want of a better word) up what happened in the past but let’s just say my face was left hideously disfigured. After extensive surgery (including a 32 hour operation to reattach my left eyebrow), months and months of rehab and being exposed to a new 8 / RWDMAG.COM
experimental Swedish therapy in which I simply learned the words to Eye of the Tiger, I was left housebound. Apart from a visit from my favourite comedian Jamie Howard [I’ve enclosed some cool pics of Jamie and I] I didn’t see anyone apart from my family... I was completely agoraphobic. With a lot of love and support from my mums, it took me FOUR years before I finally built up the courage to leave the house. The ONE thing that made me want to leave though was to pick up a copy of RWD Magazine. So thanks guys, thanks so much. I will always be indebted to you. Ofi Pallor Ofi you are such an inspiration, we had to come and see you. For those with a heart, we’ll be meeting up with Mr Pallor after his next operation in the beginning of April so check RWDmag.com/TheOfiPallorStory for exclusive video and images.
THE MONTH IN TWITPICS Just when you thought posting a simple pic on the Internet was a private affair, Tego Sigel makes things mega mega public...
@semothyjones: That’s one funny looking rat? That’s a great list of checklist items “Now Baited”, if my rat/gerbil glue trap doesn’t come baited, I’m not on that, fam!
@dannywalker1: You know when people just beg WILL and KATE too much, too, too much? Shame on you @nardenescott Don’t you ever say that RWD isn’t patriotic!
2pac speaks from beyond the grave... I am a psychic medium and I connected with the spirit of the late rapper 2pac , and his spirit used me to write a book called [Name removed to prevent anyone thinking RWD condone such nonsense]... so I take no credit for the book the true author is Tupac. The world would be interested in what he had to say. [Name removed to protect the dim] WTF!!!
@JmeBBK: Girls can now buy clothes that can predict how their night out will be: Broken Britain in action!
RWDMAG.COM
QUICK QUESTION: 2% RWDmag.com Users Cast Their Vote
Each month we give you the chance to answer our Quick Question:
@Melia_ben “Want to go home and watch PhoneShop all the way through again #tingz”
Other (Little Gary Patel, etc)
15%
18%
Newman aka Newms aka Christopher
35%
Lance Who is your favourite character in PhoneShop...
20% Ashley
Jerwayne
10%
@SATTAR_ORG “That song Jerwayne sings on PhoneShop when they ‘re escorts just came on in the surgery, made me laugh”
RWD POLLS DO YOU STILL FALL FOR APRIL FOOL’S JOKES/ PRANKS?
Janine
IS RÉMI GAILLARD THE WORLD’S BEST PRANKSER?
30% 17% 58%
YES, HE IS A LEGEND
83% NO. NOT ME, I’VE GOT EYES IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD.
MAYBE, BUT JEREMY BEADLE AND KAYVAN NOVAK ARE BETTER
12%
NO, I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO HE IS
iamaflanagan.co.uk
YES. EVERY YEAR SOMEONE GETS ME, PLEASE HELP.
TOP TWEETS @RWDMAG: 1 @BadLikeMike: Having @RWDmag March Issue to read got me through my wait at
A&E - I almost wanted to break my other arm to finish reading it.... 2 @C4_OoRITE: At the end of my dream last night @RWDmag came to my
location, to interview me and Predz #Odd #OffTrackMarch19th 3 @scarley86: @RWDmag Why shouldn’t you wear Ukranian underpants? Because
if you do, Chernobyl fall out.
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CHECK IN/ CHECK OUT
TV:
I JUST WANT MY PANTS BACK “Wild sex, all night partying and witty banter” Sound good to you? Sounds like you’d better jump all over MTV’s newest offering!
TV:
C4 COMEDY GALA Looking for a good night out? Game for a laugh? Get on it. Check in... To the O2 and have a giggle. On 11 May, the O2 will see all of your favourite Channel 4 comedy legends come together for a big old lol fest. Jonathan Ross, Michael McIntyre, Lee Evans, Micky Flanagan, Jack Whitehall, Jack Dee and loads more of your faves will be tickling you all night for a good cause. Money raised will go to Great Ormond Street Hospital for a new operating theatre. With tickets from £40, it’s a pricey one, but the ridiculous line-up will be well worth it and it’s for charidee too! For more visit channel4.com
Check out... A show following the lives of college graduates living it up in NYC. Directed and produced by Doug Lian (Bourne Identity) we have high hopes, whilst The Sun comments “It’s so cool, they even have sex in a fridge!” Brilliant. Tuesday 27 March, 10pm on MTV
GADGET:
GO PRO HERO 2 For those planning their own little comedy, you need something decent to record it on, right? Check out... This little 1080p ready gem of a camera. The GoPro Hero 2 – yes the one we’ve filmed our JME spoof on, is a crazy bit of kit. Whether you’re filming underwater, on the back of a motorbike or jumping out of a plane with it strapped to your head, it’s perfect. Mini-HDMI, rechargeable 11mAh Lithium-Ion battery and a range of accessible accessories, big!!! For yours visit madison.co.uk 10 / RWDMAG.COM
COMEDY IN NUMBERS Infographics can be funny, you just have to pick the right stat...
FIDDY’S
WORLD OF WHATEVER This month: Lolz
BOOK:
THE INTERN ‘ternships are all the rage nowadays. In fact, we have our very own (very well treated) interns over here at RWD towers. New book The Intern explores the ins and outs of the music journalism world. Check out... Dillon Khan, the long-time MTV producer extraordinaire who has written this interesting and insightful book about his past experiences in and around internships in music television. If you’re interested in getting into the music journalism world, it’s defo a good read! A witty and entertaining read, this book is a real page-turner as we witness the highs and lows of hanging with Diddy and meeting Will Smith. @dillonkhan. Available from 5 April
I am a loser. That’s about as real as it gets. But I confess my loserdom to you, dear readers, as I’m about to advocate that age-old British penchant for a bad joke. In fact the only time I fail to retweet inappropriate nuggets of comedy wisdom is when they drop less than 10 minutes following a celebrity’s demise. With that in mind, much like when deciding whether it’s appropriate to diss someone’s mum for the sake of a good giggle, there is a certain etiquette required when dropping a humour-filled bomb. You’ve gotta keep em relatively clean, obvious, inoffensive (within reason) and most importantly, know when to let rip (when your entire Twitter timeline is suffering from communal depression is a good time to start). Still screwing your face up? Try these for size, fool... My cousin went into our local DVD rental shop again and asked: “I want to take out Batman Forever”. The female assistant replied “Sorry, you have to return it by Wednesday”. My girlfriend says she wants a guy who is ‘funny and spontaneous’ yet when I tap on the kitchen window uninvited late at night dressed as clown, it’s all panic and screaming. What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the carton of Apple juice for twenty minutes? Because it said Concentrate. Follow @RWDmag for pure jokes and @chantellefiddy for pure sh*te!
Duets that Eddie Murphy has done with Shabba Ranks. Lolz. It’s called I Was King. Google that.
The number of Emmy’s that Curb Your Enthusiasm has been nominated for. Pretty, pretty, pretty good. Larry David, we heart you...!
The year that Chris Rock started doing standup comedy; he went on to become one of the world’s most popular comedians.
The amount of people Michael McIntyre performed to in 2009. That is, as they say, a lot.
The combined age of our favourite British comedy duo, French & Saunders.
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ENOUGH ALREADY: ANNOYING ADULT ANIMAL HATS If you’re bored, fed up, and/ or slightly offended by fully-grown human beings in fully-terrible fabric-based, fur-lined, floppy-eared faux pas, join the flippin’ queue. We hate those horrible hats like a hole in the head and given the choice, we’d rather have the latter too... words by Danny Walker image by Jiro Bevis
How many times have you seen someone with a bruck-down face with a hat that resembles road kill? As if a retarded raccoon was on their head whilst they were hit several times by a recycling truck... and then walked over by a marching band playing the tune, ‘Your hat is sh*te.’ WHY ARE ADULTS WEARING THESE ANIMAL HATS? Were they not allowed real pets when they were younger? Do they currently suffer from fleas and the hat makes the parasites feel at home? Or are they just a big silly kid reliving their misspent youth sitting on daddy’s knee? If you’re a single woman trying to “re-invent” your look just because you saw one of the Kardashains walk around with a bear’s vagina on her head... DON’T. If you’re a sad sad sad SAD lonely geekboy – yes even guys have been seen in such horrendous headgear – trying 12 / RWDMAG.COM
to look like Justin Bieber with a hooded snood hood made from what looks like a Panda’s anus strapped to your head... DON’T. If you’re thinking of purchasing one of those oversized cat heads based on our ever-unpredictable British weather... DON’T. If you’re a lost, silver trainer-wearing foreigner in the middle of the High Street, with an upside-down map that says ‘United Kingdom For Dummies’, an ugly animal headpiece and you want to ask us for directions... DON’T. If you’ve been given such headwear as a present from your ‘nice blind friend’ and you feel you need to wear it to be ‘polite’... DON’T. And lastly, if you’re between the ages of six and 60 and your mum/ grandma says you’ll look ‘lovely’ and ‘cute’ in it... YOU WON’T. In fact you’ll look the opposite of ‘cute’ and everyone knows what rhymes with cupid. You’ll get no love from us, not ever.
So unless it’s a hen night, you’ve only been on this earth for 60 months or less or you’re a badly dressed (yetopinionated) homeless individual looking for warmth, there’s no need to stoop to wearing such head apparel. In fact even some vagrants have been seen stepping over such a sickly item... whilst it was actually on Ke$ha too. It’s about time these over-priced, under-designed, insanely-‘quirky’, celeb-endorsed, super-stuffed, red carpet-ready, Fearne Cotton-captured, gold-lined, wolf-themed, bin-bound, faux-festival, shite-stained, annoying adult animal hats were laid to rest... fur GOOD!!!
ONE TO WATCH ANNA NIGHTINGALE No stranger to comedy, Anna Nightingale starred in BBC Three’s Mouth to Mouth. Since then this One to Watch has cast her acting net far and wide. Danny Walker finds out her latest role in Pure Films Victim is no laughing matter... Image by James Pearson-Howes “Well, I’m a Mancunian but my family originate from Yorkshire,” says a smiley Anna, breaking down her background at the photocall for Victim, in which she stars alongside previous One to Watch star Jason Maza [Demons Never Die] and the film’s up-and-coming co-writers Ashley Chin and Michael Maris [who both had roles in Sket and Anuvahood]. “I moved down to London when I was 16 but I’m trying to hold on to my Northern roots! I actually play a girl from south London in the film and to be honest, I’d played nothing but south London females until I did [cult BBC drama] Ashes to Ashes where I played a Mancunian.” So, nothing but rude girls and wannabe WAGs? Despite some great parts, the BRIT School of Performing Arts attendee soon describes her starring role in light-hearted Mouth to Mouth as her biggest test. “It was all monologue straight to camera,” the Twitterholic says of the Karl Minns written comedy drama, “which kind of went against everything I’d ever been taught at drama school. That was different because obviously it was more presenting; it was hard because there
wasn’t anybody to bounce off. So that was a real challenge but a lot of fun.” The Stephen Fry fan [“he makes me laugh,”] also lists her next project, Limbo, as another “fun” role. “It’s about Purgatory and is actually modelled on Croydon, funnily enough, which I love, cause I grew up there. Everybody goes to Croydon so Croydon is pergatory.” Nice.
“I ACTUALLY DO HAVE A BIT OF A SOFT SPOT FOR DAPPY! I HAVE A GIRL CRUSH ON RIHANNA TOO, BUT WHO DOESN’T?” After a quick discussion about her recent trip to Thailand [“I went from 36 degrees to minus 6 in 24 hours.”] we end on Anna’s celebrity crush. Any guesses; Brad Pitt? Orlando Bloom? Dappy? “I actually do have a bit of a soft spot for Dappy! I have a girl crush on Rihanna too, but who doesn’t?” For more Anna check annanightingale.net. For more on Victim visit victimthemovie.com
ALBY DANIELS
With mad production skills, an impressive taste in music and a great personality to top it all off, this north London producer is working his way up our list of favourite people.Newly signed to Black Acre, the 23 year-old’s process involves taking “Funk and jazz elements and fusing them with hip hop, dubstep, garage and D&B.” Coming from a musical background, he’s gone from playing in funk/jazz bands to full-time producter, liking the complete creative control it gives him. “The first time I ever felt bass in a club was crazy,” he remembers. “It changed the way that I viewed everything.” Naming his dream collabs as Beyoncé and Pharrell, right now he’s concentrating on juggling uni with writing his first album. “In five years I’d like to start producing and writing for other artists as well. I’m aiming big.” Soundcloud.com/AlbyDaniels (FD)
14 / RWDMAG.COM
ETHERWOOD
An exciting new London-based producer keeping D&B fresh, this new kid on the block has already made quite an impression, collaborating with label-mate Jakwob on a sweet remix of Lana Del Rey’s Video Games as well as an ace refix of Empire of the Sun’s Walking On A Dream. The Boom Ting signed sonicician draws influences from right across the board. “I’ve always been surrounded by nature, so that inspired me a lot, along with philosophy... guys like Nietzsche and Sartre,” says the boy born and raised in Lincoln. Describing his sound as ‘melodic, ambient D&B’, his style is definitely more interesting than that of the average beatmaker. Having scored some well-deserved attention from 1Xtra, Etherwood is gearing up for the release of his debut EP Shake The Foundations due in April. @EtherwoodUK soundcloud.com/etherwood (FD) 15
UPFRONT WITH... ANDY TURNER After being plagued by injuries a few years back, footballer turnt rugby player turnt sprint hurdler Andy Turner silenced the critics with his podium topping performances. The For Goodness Shakes sipper explains the importance of training with your competition, how life might have been as a footballer and his tips for the Olympics to Nardene Scott...
What are you up to at the moment? Today has been a media day really and I’m glad to be back training. I had a slight injury but that’s sorted and I’m going to be heading to Florida to train with [hurdle athlete] David Oliver. Does that not affect you, training with your competition? It does seem strange, but it is and it isn’t, because he’s one of the people to beat so I need to be running with people like him. So you’re not planning to trip him up or accidentally injure him? Yeah saying that I never thought about injuring him...(laughs). Hmm I might hire a hitman or something, I never thought about that (laughs). How did you decide on athletics, considering you played football for Notts County and were offered a spot on England’s rugby squad? It was my dad really. He was an athlete and he retired early so he just literally used to drop me off at the track, so I had to train. Also, it was more of a personal responsibility with athletics, whereas football you could have a great game but your team could be crap. It was more about the team, whereas athletics was more personal. Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you stuck to footie? You definitely wouldn’t have the worries with football that you do with athletics, but obviously - funding and training aside - the satisfaction would never had been the same as being an athlete. What’s the plan for 2012 then leading up to the Olympics? I’ll be in Florida for six or seven weeks then off to Jamaica, things could be worse (laughs). I’ve got four or five other meets before the Olympics. I kind of had 16 / RWDMAG.COM
an achilles problem, but I’m over it now. When you’re injured is it all about being sat on the sofa channel surfing then? Not training doesn’t really upset me. I can’t run but I just go swimming plus I’ve got three kids so there’s literally not a lot of down time at all. So who else are you tipping for the 2012 Olympic Games? Of course, people like Jess Ennis and people that you don’t expect, someone that will surprise people who has the potential is Simeon Williamson in the 100. If he got fit he could really do well, especially because we’re on home turf. How does it feel being criticised and even being written off by certain commentators previously? I just try to ignore everyone. Mentally I always knew I had it in me to do well and so did the people around me. I didn’t need negative vibes and eventually it all came good. 100m, 110m hurdles, 60m, 200m... what are you going to attack next?
“AFTER THIS OLYMPICS I WANT TO HAVE FUN! 400M HURDLES DOESN’T SOUND FUN AT ALL BUT I MIGHT GIVE IT A TRY, PEOPLE SAY THEY THINK I’D BE GOOD AT IT BUT YEAH, IT’S VERY SERIOUS JUST DOING ONE SPORT ALL THE TIME.” We’ve heard talk of long jump and 400m hurdles? After this Olympics I want to have fun! 400m hurdles doesn’t sound fun at all but I might give it a try, people say they think I’d be good at it but yeah, it’s very serious just doing one sport all the time. For more follow @andyturner110h
I’M NOT DOING THIS FOR THE MONEY, I LOVE TO DO IT AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, IT’S ALL ABOUT KEEPING MY GRANDFATHER’S LEGACY ALIVE.
ANDY TURNER Age: 31 Hometown: Nottingham, UK WON: 3 x Bronze, 1 x Silver, 4 x Gold (inc. Commonwealth Games) Personal Best at 110m Hurdles:
Andy ran his first few athletic seasons in budget spikes and worked 15 hour shifts for a measly £60 a day.
DAVID OLIVER
VS
Age: 29 Hometown: Denver, Colorado WON: 2 x Bronze (inc. 1 Olympic Bronze), 1 x Gold Personal Best at 110m Hurdles:
Oliver runs a charity in his spare time helping underprivileged kids achieve their potential. 17
THE LEGACY RWD ALBUM
THE LEGACY CONTINUES...
In October 2011 you might just remember that the world stopped for a week whilst everyone recognised the greatness that is DECA, celebrating ten years of RWD and still going strong. Well, we - along with the smart people over at Sony - thought that The Legacy was so strong, it would only make sense to capture the last 10 years of grime, hip hop and more in its musical format. Cue The Legacy comprising of the biggest bangers of the past decade, your favourite crews, the MC’s who set the pace and the bars that received reloads and pull ups galore all together in one epic compilation. We’d like to drop the whole tracklist we’re that excited about it but being the purveyors instead we spoke to a few of the scene’s finest to find out what they think about which underground anthems helped pave the way for the scene... Images by Kieren Pharoah
J2K WRETCH 32 “I remember doing a show with Tinie in High Wycombe in front of 200 screaming girls, now I’m watching him on the mainstage at Glasto and that’s a great feeling. I feel like a couple years ago we used to moan a lot more than we worked. Now we’re not moaning, we’re just working. Now, we can compete with any rapper all over the world. I really wanna be a part of that difference and that’s what matters to me, the art form. I didn’t really feel that I was gonna be the artist that would have a No.1, I don’t know how it happened but it did, I care about the art form.” 18 / RWDMAG.COM
“I think the impact Roll Deep has had it’s probably been one of the most influential, if not the most influential because it’s the first grime crew to really take it there, as far as having the underground on lock and then taking it mainstream. Obviously you had the So Solid’s before that but that was pre-grime because that was garage but Roll Deep had the sound at that time, which was grime in London. It wasn’t garage, it was grime. It was Creeper. It was Danny Weed. It was Target. It was Dizzee Rascal. It was Wiley. As producers and the music that was coming out that was the sound, so along came songs like When I’m Ere, Heat Up, all these things are majorly influential on every artist that came after that.”
MS. DYNAMITE “I can’t really speak for anyone else but in terms of being part of the scene it was exciting and I think that in hindsight I never realised what we were really a part of and what we’re doing. I didn’t have this thing in my head like right I’m going to be part of this scene, I was just making music that I enjoyed and in clubs doing PA’s, from the beginning, that was my mindset. I never thought I’m a female MC or I’m gonna be good for a female MC it was like, I’m an MC, bam! I could hold the mic like any man I could go toe to toe with any man, I could done the dance like any man.”
MARCUS NASTY “You know what as much as I don’t like the little **** Kano, he opened the door for everyone. Like, if it was wasn’t for him, all them guys wouldn’t be out there now. You know what he did? He committed suicide for everyone else to get through because he was the first one to make that kind of pop hit. No one could brand it as anything but he tried a ting and really what he done then is what people are doing now and it killed him but now everyone else is living off it.”
D DOUBLE E “Back in early 2000’s, I saw a RWD with East Connection and that’s the first time I saw someone I knew in there. It was probably the next edition, I was in it myself! From there I just kept on track basically. I think everyone is grime. Even N-Dubz. When I hear Dappy, I hear the anger. Devlin, it’s the attitude, when you can hear the attitude, that’s grime. Them man are doing different stuff but they still stay real. Cos you’re an instrument, you might be on a different beat but I am who I am.” 19
COMING SOON! RWD presents The Legacy - The purveyors of the underground RWD celebrate a decade by bringing together the biggest UK grime, garage, dubstep and hip hop hits featuring Tinie Tempah, BBK, Wiley, Wretch 32, K Koke, Magnetic Man, DJ Luck & MC Neat & more. Out 21 May. Check #RWDTheLegacy for AVAILABLE more updates. TO PRE-ORDER
RIGHT NOW! Free UK Delivery available. Terms and Conditions apply. See Amazon.co.uk for details.
Andres Reynaga
THE LEGACY RWD ALBUM
TINCHY STRYDER “It was a thing where like after school we always used to go Rhythm Division and pick up a RWD. It was something that was interesting for us and obviously all our sort of music, all underground so many people were in there maybe it was around So Solid them times. I was thinking yeah man we need to get in this one day...I guess Pow that was really like grime and that charted well but me and the defining points for who I relate to the most, Dizzee Rascal when he dropped Boy In The Corner that’s like a classic album for me right there, I Luv U.”
SEMTEX “I think what elevated the scene first and foremost was So Solid because they inspired everybody to up their game. The video that came out for 21 Seconds and even the video with the rawness Oh No I think that just changed everything. I think that inspired the Dizzee’s, the Wiley’s, the Pay As You Go’s, Roll Deep and everybody else that’s come through. Right now until this day, they’re the DNA, the blueprint for the whole scene and what’s going on in the UK right now.”
20 / RWDMAG.COM
SUPPORTED BY
JAKWOB Proving there’s more to this producer than simply providing sick dubstep remixes, Nardene Scott heads down to Jakwob HQ to talk about touring and how his debut album is most definitely about more than a wobble here and a wobble there... Image by James Pearson-Howes
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“There’s one album, Bob Marley and The Wailers Live in London, that’s the most played record in my collection without a doubt. The vinyl is destroyed because of it!” says James Jacob aka Jakwob of his most influential record whilst kicking back in his studio. Not the first record that springs to mind when you think of the lad from Lincoln who stamped his mark on the dubstep scene back in 2010 when he remixed pop’s Ellie Goulding, driving the blogosphere into serious overdrive and attracting further commissions from M.I.A and Jessie J. But since signing to Mercury in late 2010 the musician of Indian/Scottish descent (“I should clear things up there cos people say I’m Israeli and whatever”) has been busy in the studio working on his debut album, clearly drawing from more than just his dubstep roots. “There’s just tonnes of influences from, when I was a toddler to last week, influences just come every single day at the moment,” James tells RWD when we try to decipher the feeling behind his upcoming untitled LP. “I listen to a lot of different stuff, I was just playing Kendrick Lamar, all the A$AP Rocky stuff, I’ve just got into this guy Chilly Gonzales, loads of the big classical names and a lot of grime and dubstep instrumentals because the drums on them are absolutely awesome.” Spending the past year in the studio has given the reggae nut the chance to explore all of these sounds and more. Already he’s worked with fellow About To Blow stars Dot Rotten, Smiler and Clement Marfo & The Frontline, whilst friends Rocky Nti and Etherwood have both helped in the writing process. On the other side of the spectrum there’s songs with Jetta and Ghostpoet, “You’re used to (them) having a certain style and I’ll come along and change it up a little bit,” the SBTRKT fan says, making sense of the collaborations. The eclectic line up will set Jakwob apart from the remix du jour title he’s previously held and instead the multi-instrumentalist can truly let his sound develop. Electrify, the Jetta featuring single currently doing the radio rounds manages to showcase the sounds of breakbeat to dubstep and D&B, and having had a listen to the album sampler RWD can confirm there’s going to be no rebore tunes; each feature has been carefully crafted to reflect the diverse mix of music that inspires the 23 year-old. “Musically the album is full
of electronic sound but also very traditional instruments and some classical instruments, so it’s good to take on board thats it’s not just a full straight on studio album, there’s a lot of performances and skill from other people as well and actual instruments,” the classically trained man behind the boards and the keys and the guitar and the drums explains (just YouTube the recent Milano Studios video of Electrify). The chance to catch Jakwob live in action this year has near on tripled with festival dates and his own tour, he’s no longer ridin’ solo to simply DJ bookings. “The whole idea of doing the road tour, is pretty hardcore and performing to lots of people in a very short space of time is wicked,” he states, clearly getting excited about the summer ahead. With an album dropping later this year, equally sick singles to follow the infectious Electrify plus touring non-stop with a full live band, Jakwob is definitely set to blow this year. Check online for an exclusive acoustic performance of Electrify which is out now. Plus keep up to date with @Jakwob and @ecko_unltd_UK on Twitter and check the *eckõ unltd collection at JD Sports
“I LISTEN TO A LOT OF DIFFERENT STUFF, LOADS OF THE BIG CLASSICAL NAMES AND A LOT OF GRIME AND DUBSTEP INSTRUMENTALS...” GET TO KNOW JAKWOB His Ellie Goulding remix of Under The Sheets is just about to break the 2 milli mark on YouTube The longest session is Jakwob’s current studio has only been until like 3am, no all nighter’s we’re afraid The playlist during the interview spanned from straight laced classical to Compton hip hop artist Kendrick Lamar The most important instrument and/or piece of equipment in the studio is the keys. “That’s where we start writing... and going from PC to Mac has been amazing,” Jakwob is joining RWD fave Wretch 32 on tour this April before heading off on his own live tour and then straight into the festival season. Makre sure you’re there
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STYLE GUIDE STYLE STORY | STYLE NEWS | REFRESHED
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WHAT TO WEAR AND HOW TO WEAR IT...
GOOD WOOD
PHOTOGRAPHER: KEVIN MOROSKY STYLIST: PC WILLIAMS STILLS STYLIST: IRENE ASANJI GROOMER: JODIE HYAMS MODELS: YSHAM, DANIEL, HENRY T @ AMCK
Daniel wears shoes by Clae, chinos by The Duffer of St George, jumper by Carhartt, cardigan by Denim Demon, jacket by adidas
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This page: Ysham wears shoes by Ted Baker, jeans by Denim Demon, vest by adidas, gillet by B-Side By Wale, jacket by Wrangler Opposite page: Luke jacket, B-Side by Wale gilet, Converse boots
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Daniel wears polo by adidas, jacket by One True Saxon Henry T wears polo by Nike NSW, hoodie; by The Duffer of St. George, hat by New Era
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This page: Herschel Supply Bag, PXL Aztec Invader T shirt, The Duffer of St. George Sentry jacket Opposite page: Henry T wears trainers by Reebok, tracksuit bottoms by Luke, cardigan by Denim Demon, jacket by Marshall Artist, headphone by SuperDry Daniel wears trainers by adidas, chinos by Junk De Luxe, polo by BBC, jumper by Nike NSW, jacket by Alpha, backpack by Converse
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Henry T wears polo by Weekend Offender, jacket by Supreme Being, beanie by Forreduci, jeans by Levi’s Ysham wears shoes by Aldo, chinos by Marshall Artist, polo by Gabicci, jacket by Nicholas Deakins Daniel wears chinos by River Island, jumper by Voi @ Bank, jacket by adidas
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This page: Lavenham jacket, Onitsuka Tiger Ultimate 81, Beck & Hersey top Opp page: Henry wears trainers by Asics, tracksuit bottoms by The Duffer of St. George, vest by Humor, shirt by Fly53, jacket by Weekend Offender
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This page: Ysham wears trainers by The Duffer of St. George, jeans by Wrangler, polo by Luke, Hoodie by Nike NSW, jacket by Weekend Offender, watch by Ice-Watch, backpack by Herschel Daniel wears trainers by Converse, T shirt by Jeremy Scott for adidas, shirt by Carhartt, chinos and jacket by Marshall Artist, socks by Bjorn Borg, watch by Toy watch Opp page: Luke jacket, Canterbury Windbreaker, Silas Monogram chinos, Bape belt 36 / RWDMAG.COM
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STYLE NEWS
THE ITALIAN JOB
Our favourite fashionista Irene Asanji delivers news fresh from the world of fashion. For more fashion, competitions and exclusive content, go to RWDmag.com/style
Founded in America, created in Italy, Nike Sportswear just keeps getting better.
POWELL TO F*** THE PEOPLE ME I’M A bit of something old with a touch FAMOUS of something new, this season Clae bring you the Powell shoe.
Smart shoes have been spotted on the runways with everything from chinos, shorts and distressed denim during Fashion Week. But if you haven’t seen a smart pair of shoes since your graduation, then take a look at the Powell shoe from Clae. The great thing about these toe-protecters is just how versatile they are. They’re classy, but with just the right element of casual: every thing from classic brogue detail but in a slimmer shape for that modern look and available in gravel, midnight blue and black. Dressing up has never looked so good. Clae Powell priced £75, available at size.co.uk
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Inspired by Ice-Watch’s ethos of “reaching young people”, the self-proclaimed “Biggest party girl from Ibiza” Cathy Guetta has united with the brand to create her Day & Night F*** Me I’m Famous Collection. The wife of superstar DJ David Guetta, Cathy is known to have contributed massively to her husband’s success and has drawn inspiration from the clubbers for her range. Introducing a new dial size to Ice-Watch, Cathy’s focus was on “a clean design code for FMIF and strong colours” adopting candy-sweet tones with summer style graphics for the day time, and glamorous monochrome versions in black and white for the night. The F*** Me I’m Famous collection is available now. More info at ice-watch.com
When Nike announced last year that their design team were going to Italy to create an exclusive line, streetwear connoisseurs could hardly wait. Fastforward 12 months, and we finally take a look at the fruits of their labour. The line, named “Made in Italy”, was produced in the same factory responsible for producing clothing for fashion heavy weights Gucci and Prada. The stand out piece would definitely have to be the French Terry Full Zip top, perfect for those out there in need of some classic sportswear with an exclusive twist. French Terry Full zip top, £290, available at 1948london.com
2000 AND SQUASH Puma go back to the ‘80s to give us something fresh for the New Year. First released in 1989, but still around today, the Puma Squash hasn’t changed much over the decades. It’s still lightweight and practical, but most importantly, it’s a great shoe. This throwback has become a permanent feature of Puma’s mainline now, and we’re happy about that. Check out the lovely mix of nylon and suede on the upper, not forgetting the brown gum sole, giving it that timeless vintage look. All you’re missing are a pair of shorts, some shades, a park and you’re sorted. Puma Squash 2000, £50 - puma.com
CAMO CALLING
Camo has been tipped as one of the prints to be seen in this season. Check out the best bits of camo perfect for your wardrobe.
CALL OF DUTY The Duffer of St George are getting militant with the style appeal this season Never one to do anything by half measures, the guys at The Duffer of St. George bring you the Sentry M65 Field jacket. Originally designed for US Army troops serving in Vietnam, the Sentry Field jacket is a great crossover piece, mixing the traditional shape of the original M65, with Duffer upgrades such as a built in hood in the collar, velcro fastening, and new shape collar. Over all, this is an ace jacket that looks great with most of your wardrobe. Click away troops. The Sentry M65 Field Jacket, £70 available at jdsports.co.uk
Bape wallet £195 eu.bape.com, Herschel Supply Camo bag £90 urbanoutfitters.co.uk, Alpinestars Aramato Shorts £49.99 alpinestars.com RSW limited edition camo diving watch, rsw-swiss.com Volta Classic Camo shoe, voltafootwear.it
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PALLADIUM COMPETITION
WIN BIG WITH PALLADIUM Ever since it was founded in 1920 – way back when all they made was aircraft tires – Palladium has gone from strength to strength – literally! Now a heritage boot brand, they make hard wearing yet comfortable classics that sit perfectly in any wardrobe. It’s only a case of how you rock yours. Palladium’s new Spring/ Summer collections – for the elite urban explorers amongst us – are looking pretty big. The premium quality of the Blanc Collection, available in a series of colour-ways with contrasting white laces, the innovative and ultra lightweight addition of the Lite Collection, and the sleek and sophisticated Slim Collection, there’s something for everyone. Here in the upper echelons of RWD’s sick style department we often go out of our way to make sure our readers are hooked up. That’s why we’ve linked with the good guys over at Palladium to offer you the chance to star in a shoot with Palladium at Boxpark Shoreditch – which will feature in the next edition of RWD – win THREE pairs of boots and £250 to spend at the retail park. So if you fancy yourself as a bit of a style guru and you know how to wear a pair of boots then this is the comp for you. To be in with a chance of winning, all you have to do is visit facebook.com/ RWDmagfans (seriously, are you still here???) For more check palladiumboots.com 40 / RWDMAG.COM
REFRESHED Always one who knows how to keep it fresh on the mic as well as with his personal hygiene is Mr Laughing Boy himself, Jamie Howard. The comedian/ actor reveals his ReFreshment rules... illustrations by Art Jaz “My flat mate is a b***ard, for Christmas I got this designer moisturiser pack... It said something about the sun on it. He said that it ‘helps you tan,’ it turns out it was a moisturiser with selftanning. I looked like a dirty albino.” RWD RECOMMENDS:
CLINIQUE SKIN SUPPLIES FOR MEN NON-STREAK BRONZER
“It’s taken me 24 years to grow any sort of facial hair and when it comes through it doesn’t come through that amazingly well.” RWD RECOMMENDS:
PHILIPS AQUATOUCH
(boots.co.uk, £49.99) Combining both affordability and innovative technology in such a small unit, Philips are on a mission to rid male faces of redness, nicks and cuts and the dreaded ‘razor burn’. Using this electric shaver wet (as it’s fully waterproof) or dry can give your face a whole new world of smooth regardless of how many times you use it.
(clinique.co.uk, £16.50 for 60ml) Next time you want that sun-kissed look a little investment in Clinique’s nonstreak bronzer (which is designed with the metrosexual man in mind) will do you good. With its Transparent, oil- free formula it goes on the skin very easily... Just make sure you hide it from your flat mate.
“Remember the ‘ONE Time’ rule? If I meet you and you smell, I will let you off... ONCE. If you smell more than once or you have smelly breath more than once then you just smell. That is YOU!!!” RWD RECOMMENDS:
CK ONE ON THE GO (0800 083 6310, £12 for 20ml)
Don’t worry about being smelly as we have the perfect product that will pass Jamie’s ‘ONE Time’ rule. Just roll with the smaller version of CK One fittingly titled CK One On The Go, perfect for any satchel. That unisex blend of lily of the valley, rose, iris root, jasmine and nutmeg all mixed with a lemon top note and sandalwood, cedar, musk, amber and oak moss base notes will give you a fine first impression every time. Just use some mints for any breath issues. 42 / RWDMAG.COM
“I don’t want to sound a bit [pulls face] but I use a shampoo that costs about £40 a bottle. BUT... my aunt is a trichologist who works there so she gets the product for free. If you were to go to purchase that, I hope you’re balling.” RWD RECOMMENDS:
SHOCKWAVES NATURAL DEFINITION TEXTURE GEL
(facebook.com/shockwavesuk, £2.49 for 150ml) Sounds like someone is taking real good care of their hair. Can’t fault a brother for that. For those with longer hair, try Shockwaves’ new range of product that creates a natural look without making users look like a greasy sea creature.
“I don’t groom that much and I’ll tell you why... I have good genes.” RWD RECOMMENDS:
LS&B ARGAN BLEND SHAVE OIL
(available from Harvey Nichols stores nationwide from April onwards, £11.95 for 30ml) Packed with a rich mix of argan oil, abyssinian oil, starflower oil and blackcurrent seed oil (that’s a lot of oil), this nourishing, healing and powerful anti-oxidant is a certain skin saver. LS&B have gone out of their way to make sure their blend makes your grooming go well.
JAMIE HOWARD “The steam room is amazing, it’s a magical place... but it dries out your skin.” RWD RECOMMENDS:
NICKEL MOISTURISER FOR DRY SKIN
(nickelspalondon.co.uk, £23.50 for 75ml) Have a think about this dry skin destroyer from Nickel. It nourishes, protects and leaves skin with a youthful feel. The best thing about it though (apart from the hypnotic smell of cumin oil) is the anti-shine finish, big big big.
PRODUCT OF THE MONTH ADIDAS ‘SPECIAL EDITION’ ICE DIVE SHOWER GEL
(adidas.com/bodycare, £2.54 for 250ml) We were there when Tom Daley was unveiled as ambassador of the new British limited edition adidas body care range. As well as grabbing a whole load of Union Jack clad product we heard him explain his involvement. “I was honoured when asked to be the ambassador of the campaign,” the ice cream fan told press, “the adidas body care products are great for anyone who is active and athletic. They are easy to pack when I travel and I love the design especially the union jack theme!” Packed with protein and provitamins it will keep you cool under pressure.
How long do you take to get ready? My housemate is the worst. He blow-dries his hair! With me it’s all about the mannequin rather than the clothes cos the mannequin is really good. Any unusual grooming habits? I shave my own hair. I even tried to give myself a little shape-up thing.. Tell us more about your ‘One Time’ rule... If I meet you and you smell, I don’t know what you’ve done in the day. You might have just come from somewhere where you had to do a lot of physical work. You were then caught unawares and then you’ve just met me. The same if you have smelly breath. You’re allowed smelly breath ONCE. You might have just eaten some mackerel cos you’re on a nice heavy protein diet. Everyone is allowed the ‘ONE Time’ rule. What are you working on at the moment? I just did Noel Clarke’s film, Fast Girls, which is about a girls relay team... I’m not one of the girls. Lenora Crichlow is in it. She’s the mixed race girl who is in Being Human and Sugar Rush. Noel is in it. I play the guy who always tries to chat up Lenora and gets absolutely nowhere. So you’re going down the acting route? That’s what I always wanted to do. I went to drama school and then I never got any roles. I’ve got quite a good agent now, I’ve got the same agent as Jo Brand, Rufus Hound and Jason Lewis. Me and him are writing something together too. What is your guide to being funny? There is a difference to being funny with your friends and being funny on stage. Don’t bring friends to gigs, when they’re not there and there are no laughs it’s gonna knock you back. For more follow @Jamiehowardhaha 43
COVER STORY PHONESHOP
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Known to many as the deadly double act from Channel 4’s smash sitcom, PhoneShop, Andrew Brooke and Javone Prince have killed it on screen for many a year. After meeting them at the cover shoot Danny Walker soon finds out it’s not just their characters, Ashley and Jerwayne, who have banter, big jokes and a brilliant little bromance on the boil. The comedy duo talks school life, working with Phil Bowker and the delights of microwaved Babybel... Directed by DJB images by Andres Reynaga styling by PC Williams
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COVER STORY PHONESHOP First to arrive on our east London set was Andrew Brooke, with his more refined voice, demeanour and general attitude than any of the roles we’ve seen him in (2009’s summer hit Sherlock Holmes, cult classic series Pulling and/ or the quick witted Ashley from Phil Bowker’s PhoneShop). Second (not late, but second) to grace the studio was an animated Javone Prince. After a quick discussion about Arsenal (“What is Wenger doing?”) he settles down and becomes a tamer version of Jerwayne, his characters from Little Miss Jocelyn and even the mini role he had in Ricky Gervais’ Life’s Too Short. Let the jokes begin...
You guys are talented actors with great CVs. You’ve worked everywhere from Sherlock Holmes and Life Too Short to (of course) PhoneShop, but what we really want to know is... what’s your favourite cheese? Javone Prince: Ahhh, I’m gonna be honest with you. Man’s on the blue cheese tip right now. Are you mad? I’m not a cheese fan. It used to just be cheddar... Andrew Brooke: ...That’s your day-today cheese. J: Every day cheese. Processed cheese. Little slices. A: Sandwich cheese. Man had that until a certain age innit. Now I’m on the next level, at Christmas I got a cheese platter. Stilton and then Blue Cheese, are you mad? A: Co-sign. J: Listen Blue Cheese is the one. Not a mini Baby Bell ting? J: Mini Baby Bell’s have got a new ting, with the packet, they’ve got a little saucer that you can put into the microwave... and it melts. MAD!!! A: Instant dip. J: Are you crazy!!! A: Thank you. J: You can put anything in that. A: I think if human beings have achieved anything as a culture, that is probably it. J: That’s the one. Forget landing on the moon... J: BUN LANDING ON THE MOON!!! A: Why do you want a space shuttle when you can melt cheese in the microwave in its own dish? When were you first funny, we picture you as the class clowns at school... J: I was an iiiiidiot at school [Andrew laughs]. I didn’t think I was funny, I just used to chat breeze at school. I was quite 46 / RWDMAG.COM
small as a kid so I thought if I can make [the class bully] laugh I would get by. A: The kid was three and Jav’ was 12 [room laughs]. J: I was held back a lot with learning difficulties. I still have problems now, so why you bring that up? A: I’m sorry bruv. J: Nah, you know man got held back!!! You know man ain’t got no GCSEs, I couldn’t read until I was like 22. A: [Tries to comfort him] Come on man, come on. J: Why you gotta do that? We said we weren’t gonna air out my business. Yeah I got held back at school so what? You’re mainly known from Phoneshop, where did you get the inspiration from for these characters? Are they an amalgamation of everyone? A: Yeah, it’s a bit of real life and a bit of research and stuff and a bit of inspiration really. From the stuff that happens when we all get in a room together. J: Even once you leave the room and go on a lunch break, you see something and you’re like, ‘I might just take that... a bit of this, a bit of you,’ you sort of try things out. A: A sprinkle of you [laughs]. Like me, I take the p*ss out of my hair loss – which is from real life, sadly – and you’ve just got to work with stuff like that. If you were watching it, those... [Javone looks at Andrews impending hair loss] those... [Javone looks even closer] those are the sort... you’re looking at my hair aren’t you? J: [Looks down] I am looking at your hair. You mentioned it bruv. A: I’m just trying to tell the people. J: You see that [points to his own hair]
it’s natural [Andrew laughs]. This is GLOSSY. Man cut that today innit. A: [Points to Javone’s hair] So naturally I’m gonna be jealous of the sheer density of hair. J: It was a fro but I just whipped it off. I thought, ‘I can’t even work with it too much,’ put a little bit of American Crew on top. A: Deep, I turn up and it’s like a brown wisp of smoke on the top of my head. J: Won’t be long now. A: Won’t be long until it’s gone. J: Missing!!! His hair is gonna be missing. And Andrew, has ‘Ashley‘ got more confidence than you? A: Tricky one. I think I’m reasonably confident actually buy ‘Ashley’s’ becomes kind of rudeness pretty quick. I don’t think there is any such thing as overconfident, I think it’s good to be confident but he kind of tips it into arrogant/ rudeness. He’s dismissive and horrible to people. Has Jerwayne got more game? J: [Laughs] Yeah, [laughs] Jerwayne’s got more game, I’m really just a humble guy. A: [Laughs] So humble right now [room laughs]. J: He goes that extra mile and I reckon he doesn’t care. He doesn’t mind if he looks a fool to go that extra mile to be that confident. A: They make fools of themselves regularly, don’t they? J: Yeah. A: They’re cocky and that is the classic thing in comedy. When working on PhoneShop, the credits say additional writing from the cast, so how much of the script is you and how much Phil Bowker? J: I like to get up and just see what happens. Me and Tom are similar. We’ll get up, roll the camera and we’ll just see what comes out. Andrew... [Looks at Andrew]... Emma, Tom, Andrew and Martin, they’ll go home and think of some beautiful gems and me and Tom just see what comes out. When it says, ‘Cabin crew to manual.’ I think there were a couple of words and Phil said, ‘Add your own flavour to it’ and we let rip on that one. A: Yeah. J: That was improvised on the day-ish. The script was the guideline and we kind of just went with it. A: I have to say that a lot of the... [stammers]... a lot of the... how do I say this? [pauses]... J: [Turns to Andrew] What’s wrong with you? WHAT HAPPENED!!! Everything was going well. You stopped, what hap-
OUR TOP 10 FAVOURITE COMEDY DUOS
suits by Luke, trainers by Puma
These duos should NEVER ever be separated, #legendsinthegame... 1. Del and Rodney Go to YouTube, type in ‘Only Fools and Horses chandelier’, smile for the rest of the day. 2. The Blues Brothers John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd were absolute G’s, please please download The Blues Brothers NOW!!! Seriously, how many pairs can make Ray Charles laugh? 3. Will Smith and Jazzy Jeff #Classic. 4. Peter Kay and Paddy McGuinness Bring back Phoenix Nights. 5. David Walliams and Matt Lucas Jokes jokes jokes. 6. Eric Morecambe and Ernie Wise Legends. RIP. 7. James Corden and Mat Horne What is it with classic comedy duos that require one to be fat and one to be skinny? 8. Mitchell and Webb Peep Show was genius, not sure about That Mitchell & Webb Look... 9. Wiley and Twitter @Wiley__ is you, seriously. Too much. 10. Kenan & Kel The best thing to EVER come from Nickelodeon. Seriously Nickelodeon was rubbish wasn’t it?
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COVER STORY PHONESHOP pened? The brain stuck? A: I don’t know what happened. I just feel so emotional. I can’t do this anymore. On the day, you’ve rehearsed it so much and you’ve done it so many times, you’re a lot tighter than before. Favourite episode of PhoneShop? J: Lance Got Game. A: It’s Training Men. Lance Got Game is our favourite episode too. What was it like working on something like that... A: I think you’ve got to be humble. You’ve got to be humble in it. There have been times when we’ve laughed in rehearsals and you think it’s going to be good but still on the day, you’re not sure. J: In the Kayvan episodes, Andrew gets serious sometimes and I was bussin’ up and Kayvan.
“It’s a bit of a shifting sand really. At the start, we improvise to create the setting and how it’s going to work. Sometimes, Phil has taken stuff from us and our writing and improvised with it. It’s very much Phil’s thing, he’s the overseer of it. But at the very start there is a lot of improv and personally I like to do stuff on my computer and bring it in.” ‘THE ELITE SELLING KREW’ J: ‘THE ELITE SELLING KREW’, I was bussin’ up to the point where, I think it’s 5.30, we finish at 6pm. It got to a point where Andrew was standing next to me saying, ‘If you laugh, I’ll kill you... [does Andrew impression] we’ve got 15 f**king minutes and we don’t have that much f**king time, I will end your life.’ A: That’s not a direct quote. J: He did say that. What’s it like when Kayvan comes in? A: He’s brilliant. J: He’s like a crazy kid who’s gone to crèche for the day. His mum has taken him to crèche [Andrew laughs] and she’s picking him up at 6pm and he’s gone MAD!!! He’s just waxed off 14 Twixes [room laughs], a Coca-Cola and he’s just gone in. He goes in. Besides PhoneShop, what are your favourite British Comedies? J; I really loved Spaced, I thought it was wicked. Cruelly taken away from us. It was just so funny and very clever. I loved it. It was just weird and bizarre. Maybe it was ahead of its time. I thought it was hilarious... and Benny Bill. Benny Hill was a badman. Cos he got all the girls? 48 / RWDMAG.COM
A: [In Calvin Harris tone] Benny gets the girls he gets all the girls. I’d have to say Shooting Stars or something like that. Anything by Chris Morris. Armando Iannucci. Pulling actually. ...Interesting. A: I was in it. J: Pulling was fantastic. What would you like to see in series three of PhoneShop? A: Go into space. J: Probably do a track with Giggs, Jay-Z, probably spit bars all day. Make a track. That would never happen but I can wish. What else are you working on and when/ where can you see it? A: I did a film last year called, Jack the Giant Killer, that is coming out later this year. A couple of other bits that are coming up that I can’t talk about. Bits and bobs. J: I’m doing some bits I can’t talk about cos they WILL SUE ME!!! Some bits that I’m writing, a few shows that are coming out soon and working with Andrew on a different project.
A: We’re working with Phil on something. What phones do you have? J: iPhone 4. Not the 4S? J: I’m waiting for the 5. The 5 is gonna be serious. ‘I got a 4S!!!’ hold that innit. Enjoy your 4S [Andrew laughs]. When man is on the 5. Then we’re gonna see what time it is. Are you MAD!!! And lastly, please, ask each other a question, anything: J: When do you think you’re gonna go completely bald [room laughs]? You’re almost there bruv [room laughs] there [points to head] there and there. Three directions, not even one direction. Three directions, out now in HMV. SOON!!! A: Ladies and gents, my good friend Javone Prince. And Andrew your question? A: Why don’t you love me? J: I’m sorry, Ima iidiottt. PhoneShop returns later in the year. For the hilarious video interview check RWDmag.com. For more check e4.com/ Phoneshop
COMEDY SPECIAL
FUTURE FUNNY FOLK Well on their way to becoming household names, we take a look at the comedians who’ll be making us laugh for the next 10 years (or until some funnier people come along)... interviews by Danny Walker and Ralph Hardy...
JAMES ACASTER This 27 year-old has been seen on Dave’s One Night Stand and E4’s Show & Tell; since winning Laughing Boy’s New Act of the Year, he’s set out to put Kettering on the map... Name Fact: I’ve been introduced as a few things; ‘McAlister’ is one of them. ‘Lancaster’, people just do what they want with it. Location: I live in London but I’m from Kettering. It’s a small town next to the Weetabix factory. Did you have Weetabix this morning? I think I overdid it when I was younger as I don’t have them now. I used to have four. I didn’t mess around. I won’t put too much milk in either, so it’s not too deep, let it soak in a little bit and then have sugar on it to get it just right... I had Shreddies this morning. 50 / RWDMAG.COM
School Tie: We didn’t have a tie. We just had a navy blue jumper and a sky blue polo shirt. Now I wear the same thing as an adult. Boyhood Idol: Oh, I dunno, it kinda changed a lot. I remember when I was younger we did a project when we had to talk about our idols. Everyone said ‘Jesus’ and I said ‘Robin Williams’. I think I was the only one being honest. There is no way as a five year-old kid that your hero is Jesus. You don’t fully understand all of his teachings, you’re just trying to please your parents and write the correct answer. I’d seen Aladdin, Ferngully and I think Hook was out then, I thought he was f**king brilliant, Jesus couldn’t do any of that. First sexual experience: Erm, I’ve had so many over the years. I think it was just a nervous experience of me thinking, ‘I can’t believe this is happening’. I’m incapable of being in the moment.
Most mundane job: There have been quite a few, my first ever job was working in the catering department of Wicksteed Park, which is a theme park in Kettering. The rides were pretty bad and boring. Best place to perform: I think Bristol Hippodrome is my favourite gig. Worst gig: In one of my first gigs – it might have been a pub in Woburn – I ended up calling a massive guy a c*** and in the end I was escorted out so he didn’t kick my face in. How do you plan a show and what’s the secret of comedy? I think you’ve just got to know yourself and your own comedy persona and you’ve got to follow that. There’s no formula. In 2012 I will be... touring in clubs, a few telly things but doing Edinburgh, writing the new show and after that I imagine I’ll be writing another show. For more check jamesacaster.com or follow @jamesacaster
JAZZIE ZONZOLO After starring alongside Adam Deacon in AnuvaHood and regularly causing a stir on Channel AKA, not even Will Smith will be able to contain 22 yearold Jazzie soon... interview by Ralph Hardy Name Fact: Jazzie is my performing name but Jas Zonzolo is my government name. Location: Born in Paris and of Congolese decent but live in Kingston. School Tie: I had a green blazer and a black and green sports tie. Boyhood idol: Will Smith because of his humour. I’d like to say I’m funny like him but... I’m different. I’ve learnt a lot watching all the Fresh Prince’s ...Eddie Murphy and Chris Tucker as well. Yeah, them three. First sexual experience: Ha! You lot are REAL! I lost it when I was 16. It was a truth or dare thing... Real life stories. Her house. I lasted like 20 minutes – I was surprised, you know what I mean!? Red Bull thing! Most mundane job: Bruv, I’ve put in the work. I worked at McDonalds, Burger King, Chessington, telesales... I went in! Last time you wore a suit: To the premier for Anuvahood quite a while ago. Best place to perform and best performance: Best place has to be Sheffield. It was just a music show but I was hosting, it was sick! The worst place was opening up for The Game. How do you plan a gig? My normal procedure; I like to be sober first of all. A lot of people like to get wavy but not me! I just have an apple juice and good people around me. In 2012 I will be... Erm... ahh... Let me think about this one... I don’t want to say ‘Legend’. If you said 20something else I would have though... In 2012 I will be... ermmmmmm... Boy, that’s a hard one. I’m still thinking, I can’t. For more follow @jazziemovement
ELIS JAMES Known for stints on TV this bilingual Welshman is a selfconfessed anecdote machine... Name Fact: My first name is Owain. Location: South London, but originally west Wales, Carmarthen. School Tie: I went to a Welsh school and their uniform was a bit weirder than English schools. Boyhood Idol: Steve Coogan. First sexual experience: I just remember being certainly pleased it was happening. Obviously, I kept my socks on and it was over quick and then a warm handshake. Most mundane job: I used to do data entry at a gas company. I had to write the registration of gas pipes and make sure they matched the invoice. When I went home I was too sad to cry. Worst place and worst gig: I did a wedding once, when I was just starting out. I didn’t know the bride or the groom and I was nervous so they started the
disco. After about half and hour I asked, ‘Can I do some comedy please?’ The DJ had the clappy hand on the baseball cap and said, ‘Have you got any liability insurance’ and I said, ‘No?’ he said, ‘Well I can’t let you use my mic.’ In the end the father of the bride threatened him and he turned the whole disco off. It was awful. When I left, I went through
“THE FATHER OF THE BRIDE THREATENED HIM AND HE TURNED THE WHOLE DISCO OFF.” the wrong door and ended up in the kitchen where I stayed for an hour and they refused to pay me. In 2012 I will be... touring, gigging in Edinburgh and I’ve written a sitcom which is on Radio Wales. For more check elisjames.com or follow @ElisJames 51
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SEANN WALSH
If you haven’t heard of (or seen on ...Buzzcocks, Mock the Week, etc.) this charismatic chap yet you should be ashamed of yourself... Name Fact: Not many people know this, my real name is Seann Walsh but I nearly, this was my choice, no one forced me – If close friends didn’t tell me I was mental, my name would possibly have been Ian Loft. Basically I’m a big QPR fan and Ian, after Ian Holloway, my favourite manager and Loft after Loftus Road. Boyhood Idol: Stifler from American Pie. First sexual experience: 10 minute previews? Televison X... Does anyone remember Television X? Most mundane job: I worked in TK Maxx, its was a messy place. I got sacked because I fell asleep under the jackets. Best performance: I feel at home at Komedia in Brighton. Worst gig: I’ve done some bad gigs. I did a gig in York and for some reason a woman brought a five month-old baby. You could hear it crying and I turned and asked, ‘Why?’ A bloke on the other side said “Cos she couldn’t get it to sleep so she brought it to see you!”. Best heckle I’ve heard yet. In 2012 I will be... We’ve got another series of Stand Up For The Week coming with Channel 4, which means I need to watch people like Amy Childs. You know the woman who came up with the vajazzle – a vajazzle for me is you put the sparkles on it to make it look pretty but it serves another purpose because no matter what pattern you put it in, it’s Braille for s***s. Seann is currently touring the UK inc. two nights at the Leicester Square Theatre, 1 and 2 November. Check offthekerb.co.uk
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MORGANA ROBINSON
Already an established name in the world of comedy, Morgana Robinson is in danger of going somewhat stratospheric with her forthcoming show Very Important People, co-starring Terry Mynott. Best described as Heat meets Spitting Image, expect to see lolsome impressions of everyone from Chezza Cole to Adele... Name Fact: I’m named after a famous Arthurian witch who, amongst other things, had sex with her own son and had a child. I’m not sure my mum was aware of this at the time. Helen Mirren played her in a movie though, so it’s not all bad. Location: I live in London, but I was born in Australia, just like Kylie. School Tie: Not recently. Childhood Idol: Monty Roberts - he talked to horses, I thought that was the coolest thing ever. How - and why - a career in comedy? Because I like the challenge and because I adore funny people. I’d also be sh*t at anything else. First sexual experience: Probably with
the corner of a sofa. Worse job: A Tequila girl. I might as well have got my tits out and swung round a pole. Best place to perform and best performance: In front of my favourite director, James De Frond, hearing him laugh makes me so bloody chuffed. Gilbert fr om the Morgana show, he is probably my strongest performance so far. Worst gig: Most auditions. Person you most enjoy impersonating: [Schoolboy interviewer] Gilbert. Because he’s the original and I know him so well and for his innocence. Famous Person who has reacted unfavourably to your impersonation: No one... but the show’ s not out yet. The secret of comedy: Funny bones. I think you’re born a clown. Favourite joke? What’s worse than a cardboard box? Paper tits. Favourite comedian? Julia Davis, French and Saunders and Julie Walters. I love strong, funny women. They’ve all got the ability to be a bit dark too which I also love. In 2012 I will be... Scared sh*tless and well excited in equal measure. Very Important People is on Channel 4 Fridays @ 9:30pm, from 27 April.
CONVERSE
MIC RIGHTEOUS WHEN IT COMES TO WORDS MIC RIGHTEOUS KNOWS HOW TO LAY THEM DOWN...
STAR PLAYERS In celebration of the new Star Player range, Converse and JD join forces to showcase some of today’s freshest MC talent alongside iconic acts such as Wiley, Skepta and P Money. It’s all taking place at Converse Block Party at The Old Vic Tunnels on 29 April. Leading up to this emerging MCs are invited to step up and show if they’ve got what it takes to be the next big MC by submitting their entry online at converseblockparty.com. Scrufizzer, Mic Righteous and Lady Leshurr form part of the judging team that includes RWD, SB.TV, Grime Daily, Converse and JD; deciding on who’ll go through to the three regional in-store heats at JD Glasgow, Manchester and London, ahead of the final taking place at Converse Block Party. The winner also gets a studio recording session alongside releasing their own track on the label No Hats No Hoods. With that in mind RWD caught up with Mic Righteous, Lady Leshurr and Scrufizzer to hear their thoughts on how to lay it down properly...
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Representing: Margate Style of MCing: “Misunderstood conflict in the mind of a young person [laughs].” My journey so far... has been very unpredictable; I never knew I’d get out of my own little zone. I just have the understanding that nothing is impossible and I can achieve everything, as long as I put my mind to it. I love what I do because... it’s the only thing I can do. I can express myself. And I hate... egotistical people/ artists. The one thing I need in the studio is... just the mic, as long as we got the mic and a computer it’s all good. The thing that gives me the edge is... the fact that I’m dedicated and I take every opportunity that comes my way. To win Converse Block Party’s MC Clash you need... the heart, the dedication, the patience and the belief. In 2012... I’ll keep attacking everything and keep doing what I’m doing. I’m moving in the right direction. Every time I go into a meeting they say I’m doing the right thing. [Guy walks past, ‘Big up yourself Mic, I really respect you’]... That’s a fan right there. Lastly we have a question from Scrufizzer: Tell me about your ends? My manor/ my ends/ my borough/ my home where I live (Margate) is a place to be proud of obviously. I’m proud of where I come from but sometimes it’s a love/ hate relationship.
LADY LESHURR NOT JUST A ‘FEMALE MC’, LADY LESHURR, IS AN ARTIST WHO CAN SMASH ANY BEAT... Representing: Birmingham Style of MCing: “It’s quite different, depending on what I spit on.” My journey so far... has been quite rocky; I think I needed those downs to realise I’m actually going to be going up in the future. I love what I do because... I can actually do something that I love and get paid. When I was younger, I didn’t care about the money to be honest, it was just passion. Now it’s about the passion but obviously you have to pay certain things like bills. And I hate... non-collaboration. The one thing I need in the studio is... my phone ‘cos it’s got my lyrics in. The thing that gives me the edge is... I’ve noticed that whenever someone says name a female MC my name comes up so I feel I’m doing my job. To win Converse Block Party’s MC Clash you need... charisma, lyrical content, delivery and flow. In 2012... the journey is going quite well. I’m enjoying where I am at the moment. Lastly we have a question from Mic Righteous: WHY YOU SO SEXY!?!?! [Laughs] What? [Laughs] Mic Righteous, if you’re watching this [mouths something to camera] when you see it you’ll understand what I mean.
“TO WIN CONVERSE BLOCK PARTY’S MC CLASH YOU NEED CHARISMA, LYRICAL CONTENT, DELIVERY AND FLOW.”
SCRUFIZZER WITH HIS FIZZY FLOW SCRUFIZZER’S GOING ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP. Representing: West London Style of MCing: “Energetic, it’s got a lot of stamina, a lot of fizz.” My journey so far... has been about progression. I love what I do because... it’s being creative and just getting the chance to experiment and share my experiences. And I hate... timing. You know when you’re meant to meet people and they run late, this is the one thing I hate. Even though, me, I’m not perfect innit if I’m being honest. To win Converse Block Party’s MC Clash you need... to overcome your fear and [grow] confidence. Lastly we have a question from Lady Leshurr: Which female MC would you date? [Sighs] Ah man [makes loud noise which echoes in the Old Vic tunnels], I have to pick one? Fizzy can’t answer such questions, the question I would ask her is, which male MC would she date? If she answers, I might... Scrufizzer: What male MC would you date? Lady Leshurr: [Laughs] ah, God, I wouldn’t ever date an MC... Nah, I’m joking. I’ve always had a crush on Tinchy Stryder. It’s just his personality oh and... [whispers] Scrufizzer, he’s a nice guy. The Star Player range is available in JD stores and on Jdsports.co.uk. To get tickets to Converse Block Party go to converseblockparty.com 55
COMEDY SPECIAL
HOW TO MAKE A SPOOF
The posh Oxford dictionary defines a spoof as a ‘humorous imitation of something, typically a film or a particular genre of film, in which its characteristic features are exaggerated for comic effect.’ The RWD definition is a little different, ‘A spoof is the perfect way for us to spend a day in the sun/ studio/ anywhere that’s not the office having a joke, playing with new gadgets and recreating one of our favourite videos (JME’s 96 F**kries) for fun’... words by Danny Walker, inception by Tego Sigel, video editing by Greg Bond and Felix Kemp, cameo by JME, kit supplied by Umbro, studio and drinks supplied by Red Bull. Image by James Pearson-Howes
1. THE PREMISE
WHEN YOU MAKE YOUR SPOOF PAY HOMAGE TO A VIDEO THAT IS MEMORABLE, RELEVANT TO YOUR AUDIENCE AND RELATIVELY EASY TO RECREATE. THERE’S NOTHING WORSE THAN MOCKING A VIDEO THAT NO ONE’S SEEN. ESPECIALLY IF THE VID YOU MAKE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE THE ORIGINAL. With our brand new website – seriously, have you not seen slick RWDmag.com yet? – we wanted to create something funny and football related that would coincide with the launch. As everyone
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my skills. “Although slow, you were of high quality,” studio manager Brendon Harding explained after the 127th take. “I’ve witnessed faster vocal takes but I’ve also done slower ones. I remember you demanding reverbs too, despite not knowing what they’d actually do.” And of parodies in general? “I think spoofs are a good thing, to get sent-up is a positive thing. To be at a point where you’re being ridiculed is good.” So a song about Euro 96 is a good thing? The Arsenal fan recalls the tournament. “I remember watching it all on telly; ah, the highs and lows of that tournament.”
3. THE VICTIM - JME
CHECK WITH THE ‘VICTIM’ IF IT’S COOL TO SPOOF THEM. IF NOT JUST DO IT ANYWAY. What are you views on spoof videos? I’ve caught joke of bare different spoof music videos, but never thought there’d be one of my own tracks. My favourite one at of all of them is so sick it’s nearly not even a spoof, it’s Shadrack & Abendigo’s Guns & Pork. Do you remember Euro 96? I’m not really a football head #NoHeyArnold so I can’t even remember anything significant about Euro 96, I was too busy on my Bauer Turbos or on Mario Kart. Fair enough... and your views on spoof? The 96 F**kries spoof is sick because the lyrics are so similar to the original and it still works. It’s just funny and I’m happy that I didn’t have to write it all. I rinsed out my banter banks writing the original. And for anyone else who wants to get ‘serious’ and spoof JME... To spoof JME you need a durag first and foremost and a Boy Better Know t-shirt. We got the durag. What’s next for you? Next up for me is more music. Exciting grime music. That’s all. For more follow @JMEBBK was watching JME’s 96 F**kries at the time, our Online Editor, Tego Sigel aka The Worst at FIFA 12, thought it would be a great idea to spoof it. Not only would we try and recreate such a good vid shot-for-shot, we’d also get a sporty feel to it and call it, Euro 96 F**kries, where we’d rhyme about the anguish we suffered back in 1996 and look forward to this year’s forthcoming European Championship... which we’re obviously going to win. When I say ‘win’ I mean crash and burn in the semis.
2. THE TRACK
4. AND FINALLY, THE SHOOT
After spending a hot minute whipping up some fresh bars on my BB ages trying to find words that rhymed with football players from 1996 like Fabrizio Ravanelli, I was finally ready to ‘hit the studio’... I’ve always wanted to say that. I’m not saying that I’m a journalist-turnt-rapper but the engineer at Red Bull Studios did speak highly of
We’re not going to lie, Euro 96 F**kries took a while to get organised – mainly because we all have actual jobs that don’t involve making Internet videos – but we think the results speak for themselves. To watch the video in full check out RWDmag.com/Euro96
FOR THE BEST RESULTS THE AUDIO NEEDS TO BE THE SAME OR SIMILAR AND THE BARS/ LYRICS NEED TO BE DECENT.
ON THE DAY OF THE SHOOT MAKE SURE ALL INVOLVED ARE READY, THE CAMERAS ARE CHARGED AND THE REFRESHMENTS ARE REFILLED.
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THE EXPERTS Jason Lewis and The Vujanic have amassed more hits than African kid who got caught looking at porn; they divulge the secret to spoofs to Ralph Hardy...
THE VUJANIC
WHETHER IT BE UNDER THE GUISE OF BRICKA BRICKA OR PART OF THE TEA TOWEL GANG, THE VUJANIC IS CAUSING A STORM ON YOUTUBE...
JASON LEWIS
THIS ACTOR/ WRITER/ COMEDIAN HAS DONE EVERYTHING FROM HAVING HIS OWN SHOW ON MTV, (THE JASON LEWIS EXPERIENCE), TO SPOOFING EVERYONE FROM WILEY TO N-DUBZ. HE KNOWS HIS SPOOF... How do you plan a show or a spoof? First you’ve got to look at yourself in the mirror like ‘okay, you’re not perfect’ and you have to leave your inhibitions at the door. You can’t have hang-ups and be in this game. I mean, I’ve played a white man before; I’ve played an old black lady. I think I’ve been a white woman. I’ve dressed up as all sorts... Adam Deacon, Prince William, Prince Harry. I’ve done a whole lot in a short space of time. If I had an ego or was too cool for any of that I wouldn’t have got this far already. So first you’ve got to check yourself. If you don’t, and you go into a situation with limits then you know, you’re holding yourself back – you’ve got limits! You’ve got to be limitless. What is the best video you’ve done? My favourite video that we’ve done is probably Too Many Weave. We just had so much fun doing it! You’ve got to have fun to enjoy your work. Around when we did Black Boys and Too Many Weave – we were so young and had no idea that they would do what they did. We would go to raves and go carnival. We was in the horse stables for crying out loud! I 58 / RWDMAG.COM
did that with my boy Daniel Kaluuya. We wrote the song in about half an hour and it all just came together. In 2012, I will be... Continuing my journey in my chosen career and become very, very successful. For more follow @IAmJasonLewis
SPOOF ETIQUETTE When spoofing always remember the comedy commandments... 1. Thou shall make thy video funny 2. Thou shalt never go too far 3. Thou shalt buy lunch for whoever is helping you 4. Thou shalt not steal other people’s ideas 5. Honour thy father and thy mother (unless they bore the child Justin Bieber) 6. Thou shalt not smell on set 7. Thou shalt not commit adultery or bestiality or support Wigan 8. Remember the Sabbath day 9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s camera/ tripod/ extended battery pack 10. Thou must send a link so we can post thy video on RWDmag.com
Why spoofs? What is the beauty of one? I’ve always liked spoofs, they are just fun and silly and I like fun and silly stuff, I’m a fun and silly stiff kind of guy. The beauty of spoofs is that you can literally take anything serious, put a comedic spin on it and make a serious thing...funny! Where do you get your ideas and inspiration from? My ideas come from what I see around me in everyday life and what I have experienced throughout my 19 years of existence. For example my Eastern European character ‘Bricka Bricka’ is based on my father and many other Eastern Europeans who have chosen manual building work as their trade in the UK. How do you handle feedback, good and bad? I love good feedback as it shows I’m doing something right and would like to send my thanks to all that have supported my work thus far. But I probably do take notice of bad feedback more and I feel it is necessary in order to improve on what I create, however if it’s just some numpty and the feedback is not of a constructive nature, I ignore such things as not everyone will like what you do! Favourite spoof to date? Hmm that’s hard, I’d have to say, Lonely Island’s I’m on a Boat Ft. T-Pain is hilarious, all their work is funny, however Shadrack & The Mandem - Guns & Pork still makes me laugh to this date. What would be your guide to making the perfect spoof? Perfect Spoof? Hmmm, pick a topic, create characters, produce/ use a known beat, know what is currently funny to the masses and create magic! Well try to anyway. Just have fun with it and don’t offend too many people... offensive is funny though! Look at Sacha Baron Cohen. For more follow @TheVujanic
INTERVIEW SUB FOCUS
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SUB’S WAY
This bass biased producer is behind some of the most exciting, credible bass music right now. Hattie Collins heads to south London to meet the rather ace Sub Focus...
“I LIKE MY MUSIC BEING POPULAR BUT WITHOUT BEING COMMERCIAL. IT’S THE HOLY GRAIL OF BEING A MUSICIAN TRYING TO STRIKE THAT BALANCE.” SUB’S MUSICAL FOCUS I had quite a few phases of getting massively into music and wanting to make it. Basically I first got into Michael Jackson and then really into rock music when I was a kid. I liked Guns ‘N’ Roses, Nirvana etc. Then after that I was in a band before I could even play anything - we never played a gig! Then I got hooked on dance music. A friend gave me a tape with some old Prodigy on there and then I remember hearing my friend play Incredible by General Levy and that blew me away basically. I remember hearing that and jungle sounded so different and weird and it just blew me away. I got hooked on D&B from there.
Housed in the same south London studio complex as Nero and Breakage, Nick ‘Sub Focus’ Douwma is in good company when it comes to the creating of massive club anthems. “I’ve always benefited from outside influences,” he says of his bassmad neighbours. “When I work on my own there’s always the danger of going mad, so it’s nice to be surrounded by people on the same level.” The 29 year-old is also pretty pally with Nero’s mates Chase & Status, having worked with them on the dubtastic Flashing Lights from their eponymous No More Idols album. And Will and Saul aren’t the only people this producer, DJ, engineer and remixer has worked with. The man behind Example’s No.3 hit, Kickstarts, he’s remixed for Dizzee and Deadmau5, produced a tune for Sting’s kid, Coco Sumner and made a name for himself with his own cuts, Airplane and Rock It from his self-titled debut album in 2009. Now signed to Mercury, it looks like Sub Focus is about to be propelled from the upper echelons of the D&B world to the top of the ole’ Hit Parade – albeit on his own terms. “I want to feel like a credible artist so I’m wary of doing anything too poppy. I like my music being popular but without being commercial,” Douwma points out. “It’s the holy grail of being a musician - trying to strike that balance.” With his wobblesome BPM’s, and knee-knocking bass, he certainly keeps it true to his D&B/ jungle/ dubstep roots. New single Out Of The Blue,
featuring singer/ writer Alice Gold, clocked up 250,000 views on YouTube in just a week, and has been played by every major bass DJ you can mention. After giving us a spin of some of the album’s sounds, we predict more commercial success for this sonic magician who brilliantly blends dubstep, D&B, ‘90s jungle, ‘80s rave, future garage and even a steel pan symphony. “I like pulling threads from places that maybe aren’t meant to go together,” he grins. “I’m quite a magpie in the way I look at music.” Rather than reach out to the obvious chart-toppers, the half Dutch drum destroyer enjoys picking writing partners that are far from your average. “I’m working with a few people. JayEllDee, who’s a great new talent, The Alpines, Jess Mills and Kele Okerere,” he says of his super-credible collaborations. “I don’t want it to just be me and loads of guest artists on the album. I’m trying to limit that a little bit,” he insists, pointing out that he might even have a go at some vocals on the album. With Coachella and Snowbombing on this year’s lists of gigs, it seems the opportunities for this most likeable multi-talented musician are endless. “I do listen to other people’s music and think, not in an arrogant way, but ‘I can probably do that better’. I’m just competitive with it,” he admits. “But more than that, I want to be part of progressing this scene both here and around the world. It’s really about making the best music I can make and hoping that other people love it as much as I do.” Out The Blue is out 29 April. The album will follow later this year. @subfocus 61
FAVOURITE THINGS SANTIGOLD
ALL THAT GLITTERS… The world hasn’t heard much from the fabulous Santigold recently, but things are about to change - big time. Absolutely blowing us away back in 2008 with her self-titled debut album, she’s set to do it all again with the upcoming Master of My Make Believe. Hold tight world! Words by Francesca Dunn. Having spent the past year and a half working on her much-anticipated second album, Santi White aka Santigold is very excited that we’re finally going to hear what she’s been creating. The super-cool music maker worked with an impressive selection of producers on the album (Switch & Diplo, Ricky Blaze, Nick Zinner, etc.) and we’re pretty sure that it’s going to be just as much a melting pot as the lovely lady’s previous work. “I just take different elements and put them all together with bits and pieces from different producers,” she explains. The Philly born, New York living singer is also keen to point out that that this album is a little more ambitious than the last; she’s even branched out and written a ballad. “Well, my version of a ballad...” she says laughing. “I mean it has taiko drums and marching band drums in it. It’s not a traditional ballad, but it’s a ballad to me.” Inspired by Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush, she wanted to make the album epic – something big and multi-layered. On God From The Machine for example, we hear the star “become a one-woman choir”. That’s not to say that she’s given up on making you dance. Oh no. “I still want club jams! It’s just that my club jams have like... African drums on the chorus,” she laughs. “It makes you wanna dance, but you need to figure out a new way to dance, you know what I mean?” We do indeed. The single Disparate Youth is out 9 April, followed by Master Of My Make Believe on 23 April. @santigold
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NYC-BASED SANTI HAS BEEN BACK AND FORTH MORE TIMES THAN WILLOW SMITH CAN WHIP HER HAIR. DESPITE CLAIMING TO BE TERRIBLE AT FAVOURITES, SHE’S DONE A PRETTY GOOD JOB AT FILLING US IN. HERE ARE SANTIGOLD’S FAVOURITE THINGS:
WHAT’S THE PLAN?
FAVOURITE BAND:
I’m gonna go on tour with the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, then Coachella. I’m gonna come back here for a show when the album drops, and then I’ll be back again in Summer for some festivals.
The Smiths! I met Johnny Marr last night at the NME awards and I attacked him! I was like “Johnny Marr, The Smiths are my favourite band ever and you’re my favourite guitar player!” and he was like “Thank you! Who are you?”
FAVOURITE PLACE TO GET YOUR NAILS DONE IN LONDON:
FAVOURITE FOOD:
FAVOURITE BOOK:
FAVOURITE COMEDIAN:
Sophie of Illustrate Nail did my nails yesterday and they’re amazing! I mean, look at this – it’s Frankenstein! So cool! I love anything fun. [@illustratenail]
Popcorn and Milk duds, together. Milk Duds are a movie candy. It’s like milk chocolate covered caramel. It’s really hard and chewy and you eat it with popcorn and it gets stuck in your teeth but it’s the best thing in the whole world!
MOST FUN YOU’VE HAD IN LONDON:
FAVOURITE PLACE TO SHOP IN LONDON:
FAVOURITE TOUR MOMENT:
FAVOURITE PLACE TO TAKE YOUR DOG FOR A WALK:
Last time I was here, Lil B was playing at The Old Blue Last and it was so much fun! Like, people came with spatulas and chef hats and they were like “Yeah! COOKING!”
FAVOURITE PLACE TO EAT IN LONDON:
Do you know what? I’ve been here four days now and I’ve only had time to leave the hotel for something other than work once, about an hour ago, and I went to Nando’s!
KTZ - It’s a really cool store! They have one in Paris too. [Kokon To Zai, 57 Greek Street, London, W1D 3DX]
FAVOURITE PLACE TO PERFORM:
Festivals are actually my favourite places to perform. They’re fun, despite the rain. I would walk through mud forever to get UK festival doughnuts.
The Wind Up Bird Chronicles by Murakami. He’s actually also my favourite author! I’ve read almost every piece of fiction that he’s ever written. And right now I’m reading his new book, which is called IQ84.
When I went to Glastonbury we got to go to Stonehenge. I just love anything to do with aliens and I was looking for evidence and taking all these pictures like it was a crime scene.
WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU INTO AT THE MOMENT? Beach House, Crystal Castles (pictured), Swim Good by Frank Ocean, some A$AP Rocky and Spend It by Tity Boi.
Richard Pryor. Oh my god! He’s the funniest person ever! He’s an all-round brilliant comedian. His voices are absolutely amazing. Modern comedians just tell the same stupid jokes about race and f***ing and it’s so stupid.
Fort Greene Park, which is near where I live.
FAVOURITE KIND OF DOG:
My favourite kind of dog is a Great Dane and I have one! He’s called Beau and he’s absolutely amazing. He’s huge and he just runs around in circles in the park!
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YES. YES. YEEEESSS FINALLY FESTIVAL SEASON IS UPON US!!!
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RWD FESTIVAL GUIDE Summer is on its way (thank god!) and with summer comes occasional sunshine, shamefully dry legs on display, and FESTIVALS! Festivals are essentially holidays with music, and what could be better than that? Not much. Being down with our music and all, we’ll be cruising around a wicked selection of festivals this summer in our all-singing, all-dancing RWD media van; live-blogging, interviewing artists and hanging out with you guys as we go! With all the good times on offer across, well, the world, we imagine that deciding which festivals to hit might be a bit of a mission. Francesca Dunn spell things out for you...
RWD’S TOP THREE FESTIVALS:
CAMDEN CRAWL LOVEBOX London, 15-17 June London’s oldest public park, (Victoria) in Hackney will this year play host to the 10th edition of Lovebox festival. Though city-based, Lovebox isn’t any less of a festival, and has all the vibes of a bigg’un, minus the camping. Giant art installations and theatrical film sets sourced from Glasto and Burning Man fill the site. This year the festival is celebrating “a decade of love” with ten separate stages hosting Emile Sandé, Kelis, Little Dragon, Azealia Banks, Netsky, Joy Orbison, High Contrast, etc. Lovebox is East London’s very own festival. Plus, it’s on our doorstep, so expect to see the RWD media van in attendence! Lovebox.net
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London, 4-6 May With the biggest names in London DJs, promoters and media (including yours truly) taking over venues across Camden, Crawl-attendees are defo in for an eclectic night. The line-up includes the likes of Swedish electro-pop babes Icona Pop, instrumental gods Brontide, team dubstep True Tiger, RWD fave Charli XCX, not to mention Ghetts, Jaymo & Andy George, Lioness and Roska. We’ll be owning The Jazz Café on the Saturday night so come on down and get yo’ crawl on with us. 2012 will be our fourth year at Camden Crawl and it’s set to be a good’un, with Mistajam providing the beats alongside an extra special selection of live acts. Camden Crawl is the perfect city festival – all on the same street, all great venues and a great variety of acts. Put this weekend in your diary now! Thecamdencrawl.com
TODDLA T’S TOP TIPS TO TACKLING FESTIVALS For all of you festival freshers out there looking to embark on their first outdoor escapade, Toddla T gives Nardene Scott the inside on which festivals he’s looking forward to, how to stay hygienic and avoid the Badman Flu, plus his plans for new sound system, Toddla T Sound.
PARKLIFE WEEKENDER Manchester, 9 -10 June Well isn’t this a nice, friendly, Northern festival? It is indeed. So friendly in fact, that we’re hosting our own stage! With past lineups being notoriously great, we were unsure how 2012 could compete, but they’ve only gone and done it! With Dizzee Rascal and Flaming Lips headlining, we’re off to a good start. Add to that NY’s hottest new rudegirl Azealia Banks, Nero, Justice, Netsky, TEED, Labrinth, Julio Bashmore, De La Soul and a whole host of other awesome acts. Alongside the big names, Parklife are also supporting Mixmag’s ‘breakthrough DJ of the year’ Maya Jane-Coles, and RWD’s ‘One To Watch’, the brilliant B-Traits. With 20,000 people expected over the weekend,this ‘no camping’ fest is one of the cheapest weekend festivals in the UK! Sorted. Parklife.uk.com
What are you up to at the moment? I am working on this sound system I’ve got planned for the summer. It’s like a live show, jazzed up where me, Shola Ama and Serocee get on the live thing in a sound system style! We’re supporting Major Lazer on their UK tour, which kicks off in April and then we’re just gonna go to a lot of the festivals. So what can we expect from Toddla T Sound? Usually I just play music but this sound system, Toddla T Sound, it’s all my own material which I’ve never really done before, but on top of that I’m blending it with tracks that I use in my DJ sets. So I might put an acapella on a big beat or a dubplate over one of my own tracks like keeping it party and fun. Every single track is going to have a different element and then on top of that Serocee, Shola Ama and DRS will be coming out with me and we’ve got visuals being cooked up. Every track that I’m playing on this set is designed for the artist so for example, Cherry Picking, we’re gonna sync that up to loads of cherries flying around or Big Bad Wolf like all the visuals for that is like mad wolf stuff. So this year my festivals are going to be stepped up, more elaborate and it’s just gonna be a bigger experience for me. Plus we’ve got our own bus where normally I drive. Have you pimped the tour bus all out? Nah the bus is f**ked, it doesn’t have my name on it, none of that. We can put a sticker on it, they’re like the size of a pencil case
but then we’d have to take ‘em off and hand them out. Where are you most looking forward to going, out of all the festivals? Lovebox, I’ve played there twice and I’m playing again there this year. I mean London festivals are such a different vibe. If you’ve got one in the city it’s not a bad thing because you get on the tube and go home or to the pub or just stay out. Parklife and other ones in the city are perfect for some people because they don’t want to camp out and not have a shower. Well obviously there’s no Glastonbury this year, that, I always look forward to the most because it’s just mental and the scale of it is so big. Radio 1 are doing a really exciting festival this year Hackney Weekender, that’s looking crazy. What’s the worst toilet situation you’ve found yourself in? Oh God! Well I mean the toilet situation is always the biggest fear for people. The toilets are generally just very grim you can smell them a mile off and it’s f**king intense but I don’t think that’s a big deal because it’s two minutes of your day. So I say f**k it, get on with it. Who are you looking forward to seeing? Obviously you’ve got those big names but some of the most fun and mad experiences are just the things you stumble into. Follow @TODDLAT and check toddlat.com plus catch him Fridays on Radio 1 at 2-4am
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ALTERNATIVE FESTIVAL:
SECRET GARDEN PARTY
Cambridgeshire, 19 - 22 July A lot of festivals are celebrating their 10th birthday this year and Secret Garden Party is one of them! A bit of a hippy-fest, expect alt-names like The Lady Killers, Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros and Soko (no, us either). “We are already naked, so use your freedom to unite with your fellow gardener.” Wow, Just wow. Bust out the jossticks and head to Abbots Ripton. Secretgardenparty.com
BEST BOUTIQUE FESTIVAL:
SOUNDWAVE
Croatia, 19 - 23 July Now in its fourth year, Soundwave festival is set in the sunset-drenched and popular as hell party island of Croatia. You should go. With Little Dragon and Roots Manuva going before them, Tisno, the charming new home to Soundwave is going to be the backdrop for hip hop trio De La Soul, newbie Ghostpoet and over 50 more acts. Sounds like a lot...! Soundwavecroatia.com
GUARANTEED SUNSHINE:
HIDEOUT
Croatia, 29th June– 1st July Thinking of getting yo’ club on in Ibiza/ Ayia Napa this Summer? Croatia provides the perfect backdrop for this beach hol meets electrofest. As for the line-up, read’em and weep: SBTRKT, Skrillex, Sub Focus, Annie Mac, Chase & Status, Simian Mobile Disco, Benga, big boss of Digital Soundboy Shy FX, and loads more. At just £99 for three nights it’s cheap as chips... almost! Hideoutfestival.com
MOST DIVERSE LINE-UP:
V FEST
Chelmsford/ Birmingham, 18-19 August With one address up North and one daan Saaf, V Festival are catering for everyone. With massive names as diverse as The Stone Roses, Snow Patrol, Nicki Minaj, Tinie Tempah and Ed Sheeran, variety is the key. We love a bit of comedy at RWD, so V’s ‘Glee Club Comedy Tent’ sounds pretty tempting too! Vfestival.com
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MORE THAN JUST MUSIC:
BEACH BREAK LIVE South Wales, 14-18 June Dubbed ‘The UK Student Festival’ (and quite rightly so), Beach Break Live provides the perfect post-exam party.
For a little over a hundred pounds you get a weekend of wicked music, a beach, sports to watch, sports to play, and with a bit of luck, some sunshine! Providing the soundtrack to your weekend will be the likes of Jakwob, Mistajam, Chase & Status, Skream & Benga, Maverick Sabre, NERO, Wretch 32 and Dizzee Rascal. Good stuff. Beachbreaklive.com
BESTSNOWFEST:
SNOWBOMBING
Austria, 9-14 April As Example so brilliantly put it, Snowbombing is like “Bringing a rave from Fabric into the scenery of The Sound of Music”. Sounds like megalols to us. The event is pretty hardcore, with only five music-free hours in every twenty-four! This time around, Dizzee Rascal will be headlining, as well as getting involved in the action. “I’m actually going to learn how to snowboard this year!” Good effort Dizzle. Other music will include Fatboy Slim, Chase & Status, Wretch 32, Labrinth, Zane Lowe, Skream, Sub Focus and JackBeats. Not a bad selection! MistaJam, clearly a fan, reckons that “it’s the perfect setting for the best snow festival in the world!” Snowbombing.com
BEST VALUE:
WIRELESS London, 6-8 July Okay, so here’s the deal. Drake will headline Saturday, Rihanna will headline Sunday, and Nicki Minaj, Jessie J, Example, Wiz Khalifa, Pro Green, etc. will bring their joyous music to London over the space of the weekend. Tickets are from £55 for one day, which when you consider all the big names you’re gonna see, isn’t half bad! Plus, you can’t argue with the fact that Hyde Park is a great location! Wirelessfestival.co.uk
TODDLA T’S FOOLPROOF FESTIVAL TIPS I think Wellington boots are essential. If you don’t have them and it rains then you can’t move and the joke is you’ll feel like a plum because everyone else will have them. It’s STUPID to try and wear any footwear that you like because it will just get f**ked. So they might not look particularly great, granted, but everyone is at it so don’t think your gonna stand out like a mug. It’s gonna be the opposite if you’re walking through in your brand new trainers.
There are not many shower opportunities, so for the hygienic crew maybe take some baby wipes and wipe up certain areas in the morning. You can get some mouthwash and some toothpaste and brush your teeth outside the tent and that’s enough. You’re not gonna get a full bath just compromise, take your wipes and your cleanliness and that’s a lot better than nothing. Don’t be afraid to go outside of yourself, like even if you’ve gone to Lovebox to see Dizzee why not see Dizzee but also take a bop from the main stage and go to a side tent and experience other stuff because it’s there, it’s not costing you and if you don’t like it then, minor, just leave and go to a next tent.
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SUN & SAND:
KISS IN EGYPT
Sharm El Sheikh from 25th June - 2nd July Ibiza - tick, Ayia Napa - tick, Kavos - tick, Malia - tick, Magaluf - tick... But Sharm El Sheikh?!? The new alternative destination for clubbers who’ve been there and done that is now just a short plane ride south to the north-east of Africa. With beautiful weather, great food and amazing hotels, no wonder the KISS FM all-star team, including EZ, Swerve, Shortee Blitz and Jez Welham, are heading to the Savoy complex for a week long series of events including beach, pool and boat parties, trips to Club Space as well as hitting up the resort clubs. Having experienced the events earlier this year for ourselves, RWD can definitely recommend the trip; for the adventurous there’s camel rides and quad biking through the desert, others might fancy a trip to see the Pyramids at Cairo, or you can chill by the pool until it’s time to hit up the club! 70 / RWDMAG.COM
RWD readers/ KISS FM listeners can go for 7 nights, all inclusive staying at Sierra Hotel, Savoy resort, Sharm El Sheikh. Return flights and entry to the above nights from just £499 per person (additional excursions are extra). Go to Kissfmuk.com or text Sun to 64100 for bookings details.
UNWIND GADGETS | GAMES | FILMS | GIG GUIDE
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THE BEST OF STAYING IN... AND GOING OUT... MAX PAYNE 3
rockstargames.com/maxpayne3 For the super excited gamers (and lovers of all things exciting/ violent), the ones singing ‘Max Payne back’ at the top of their husky voices Rick Ross style, the wait is nearly over. Max Payne 3 will be available for the Xbox 360 and PS3 on 18 May with the PC version unleashed on 1 June. For those who can’t wait that long, check out our hands-on preview.
BRING THE ! E N Y A P
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GAMES Knock knock... [You say ‘who’s there?’]. Let’s try that again... Knock knock... [‘Who’s there?’] a shed... [‘A shed who?’] a shed load of quality games THAT’S WHO!!! Words by Danny Walker Max Payne 3 Rockstar Games PC, PS3, Xbox 360 Once inside Rockstar HQ we had a little scout for GTA V info... nothing... before we entered the weird and wonderfully murky world of Max Payne. We can’t say we missed him TBH but as soon as the story got rolling – after a complex kidnapping of course – we were literally ducking in-andout of Bullet Time straight away. We’re told on this outing Rockstar Studios (yes, you read correctly ‘Studios’, the WHOLE empire, from Rockstar Vancouver, to a secret office underneath our very seats) have pulled together to “increase replayability,” and create a title that, “looks and feels different” on every level. Briefly playing Chapter III – in which Max, washed up onto the streets of São Paulo, has to follow a kidknapping money trail – it’s easy to see this is fluid and action-packed. “Max Payne 3 brings powerful storytelling back to the action-shooter genre,” Sam Houser, Founder of Rockstar Games, concurs. “Rockstar Studios are delivering a game that’s both incredibly cinematic and very, very intense to play.” Check RWDmag.com for the latest 74 / RWDMAG.COM
OUT THIS MONTH: Mass Effect 3 EA PC, PS3, Xbox 360 We really need to stop grabbing the letters out of our postman’s hands. Sorry Roy (his name is actually Roy) but in this white envelope resides EA’s Mass Work Distraction 3. Billed as the third game of the trilogy that will “complete” the story of Earth’s saviour Commander Shepard, you’re soon under attack from Reapers, ninjas and mega armoured mechanical annoyances. It’s own or be owned out there people.
Kinect Star Wars Microsoft Xbox 360 Despite it getting boring after a while, this is SICK. If only we could “Force Push” in real life, you’d never get a parking ticket. Check RWDmag.com for more.
FIVE THINGS YOU DIDN’T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT MAX PAYNE 5. The story of Max Payne 3 takes place eight years after May Payne 2; that’s a long time, especially in Bullet Time. 4. James McCaffrey, the voice of Max Payne in the game franchise, makes a cameo as the FBI agent in the film that stars Mark Wahlberg. 3. The term ‘Bullet Time’ – the state of Zen that Max regularly utilises – is a registered trademark of Warner Bros., who distributed The Matrix of course.
Waking Mars Tiger Style Games iOS Soon after its relatively brief download the preconception that Waking Mars would be utter cackpants soon fades. In fact slap yourself upside the face for predicting such utter nonsense. In reality Tiger Styles’ surprisingly popular title is only a little bit cackpants. The slow paced platform game is a semi-cocked, adventurous ecosystem exploring, alien plant documenting, semi-educational experience. But one that should be avoided at all costs.
RWD TEMPLE RUN SCORES
Street Fighter X Tekken Capcom PC, PS3, PS Vita, Xbox 360 Just when your foolish thumbs thought it was safe to come out of hiding, Capcom go and unleash a potential beast. If your stumpy appendages are still cowering from [Insert D Double E voice here] Street Fighter IV then they’re not going to be ready for 76 classic characters, new additions like Scramble Mode, and they sure won’t be ready for our cheap-arse tactics to get easy wins. Sorry but a win is a win... YOGA FIRE!!!
@DannyWalker1: 9,902,320 (“Now man can retire, who’s Tego?”) @TegoSigel: 9,209,080 @Fevs007 6,504,459 @Gr0gson: 4,836,414 @RalphHardy: 2,859,586 @HattieCollins : 792,423 @_wall01: 68,714
2. An anagram of Max Payne is ‘Pay Ax Men’, which just sounds funny. 1. If you drop a large object on your toe that will cause Max pain.
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UNWIND WITH FAZER
Unwind With FAZER
Dear N-Dubz lovers, Fazer is currently regenerating and will be with you shortly. Yours truly, Francesca Dunn.
It sounds like you’re branching out from music at the moment and exploring loads of different areas? Yeah, right now I’m milking the fat cow. The industry is a big fat cow and I’m milking it. I’m just exploring different things, different avenues - things I’ve never done before. Like getting involved with the Transform Your Patch project with Tango and Mt Dew. It’s so far away from music and it’s great! Can you tell us a bit more about the Transform Your Patch project? I’m trying to raise £100,000 for skate parks in the UK. We’re basically going to renovate areas and give kids somewhere to hang out. When I was younger, whenever my mum wanted to find me, she knew I’d be down the skate park. When I heard about the project and what it was about, I knew I wanted to be involved. You recently starred in a short film for Vauxhall Fashion Scout. How was that? It was cool! Now I’m thinking that maybe I should go into acting [laughs]. I might give it a go. Maybe I could be like the next Will Smith! Fresh Prince of BelAir and all that! Word on the street is that you’re working on a fashion line... Yeah. We’re starting off with menswear, but hopefully in a few years we’ll branch out and have a women’s line too. We’re aiming to have it ready for September’s fashion week and just go from there. I don’t want every Tom, Dick and Harry wearing it though; just select people, credible people in the industry. It’s gonna be up there with Alexander Wang and Comme des Garçons - exclusive, high-end fashion. What’s going on with your music? I’m currently working on my debut album. My solo work is more mature, 76 / RWDMAG.COM
easy listening. I’m 25 now and my whole outlook on life is different to what it was five or six years ago. It’s still commercial pop/hip-hop, but I wanna get like Sting, Adam Levine and Muse on there. I want to do something completely out of the box. I’m producing and writing it myself, so completely in house! I’ve also just started my own production company called STL music. Are you still working with Tulisa and Dappy? Yeah, me and Tulisa just completed her first solo single. I did another two songs for her as well, and a few tracks for Dappy’s album too. It’s looking good for all three of us! It’s like no matter what we do individually, N-Dubz will always be our base. We’ll always get hands-on with each other’s projects. There are often rumours in the tabloids about how N-Dubz split and that we hate each other and stuff, but it’s not true. We’re family man... and if family don’t talk, it’s only a matter of days before they do again. We’re just taking a little break from the media and giving the fans and everyone a chance to breathe. We’re coming back next year. If you could regenerate as anyone who would it be? The lead singer from U2. And what are your plans for the future? World domination darlin’! I wanna retire by the time I’m thirty so I’ve got five years to do it. @iamfazer. Fazer has teamed up with Tango and Mountain Dew to launch ‘Transform Your Patch’ – a campaign which aims to regenerate around 165 outdoor spaces across the UK with the help of the public. To vote for Fazer and skate parks visit transformyourpatch.com
WAYS IN WHICH FAZER IS MILKING THE FAT COW: 1. Acting in short films / attempting to become the next Will Smith. 2. Launching a fashion line. 3. Starting his own production company. 4. Jumping on the production for debut singles everywhere. 5. Jumping on charities that help ‘the kids’.
“THERE ARE OFTEN RUMOURS IN THE TABLOIDS ABOUT HOW N-DUBZ SPLIT AND THAT WE HATE EACH OTHER AND STUFF, BUT IT’S NOT TRUE. WE’RE FAMILY MAN”
WHAT TICKLES FAZER?: Tell us a joke... What do you get if you cross a toothbrush with a giraffe? ... I mean, a hedgehog with a giraffe... A toothbrush. Oh-kay! Do you have any party tricks? Yeah I do – I can make alcohol come out of my eyes. Like literally squirt out. What is your favourite comedy movie? Kung Fu Panda 2. Who’s your favourite comedian? Either Dave Chapelle, Pablo Francisco or Eddie Griffin. Do you have any favourite spoofs? The Tulisa to Dappy No Regrets video on YouTube. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you? Um, probably back when I did martial arts back in the day. We had a couple of girls in the studio and me and Dappy were trying to impress them. We was just sparring together and I had my trousers kind of low, as we do, and I went to do a kick and because my trousers were so low, they kind of swept me off my feet and I fell right over. What last made you laugh, a lot? Watching Eddie Griffin at home.
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UNWIND FILMS
FILMS We’ve got a firm eye on the following comedies and so should you... 21 Jump Street Sony Picture Releasing Cert 15 21 Jump Street has been dragged from the 80s, replacing the cast of the original series (Johnny Depp), with Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum, high school rivals turned Police Academy besties. The duo endure a bromance affirming ordeal which starts with “Tripping Major Balls**k” in class and ends in their drug supplying nemesis biting his exploded penis off the street. Yeah, quite a sentence seller, we know. (TS)
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COMEDY CORNER: TOP 3 ‘WOW, THIS COMEDY SERIES IS STILL GOING’ FEATURE FILMS
Men in Black 3 Sony Pictures Releasing Can anyone say ‘Men in Black’ without singing the song? Go on, try.... Anyway, Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are back in expensive suits. Both have been joined by a few more wrinkles, crazy alien characters and even more ridiculous script. Should be good, clean wholesome family fun.
Jeff, Who Lives At Home Paramount Cert 15 - Out 11 May 2012 Those that sit in their bedrooms all day playing FIFA will be pleased to know there is a world out here and like Jeff (Jason Segel) – who is an avid fan of his basement – it only takes one day trip with your brother (Ed Helms from Hangover) to discover it. Joining forces with his on screen mother, Susan Sarandon, Segal plays a recluse on the loose as they track down the mysterious movements of Jeff’s brother’s wife. Looking like a warm lighthearted and amusing cinema experience rather than an all-out-joke-a-minuteForgetting-Sarah-Marshall-type-film, it’s good to know Segel is versatile... With This Is 40 due out later in the year who would have thought he even had the time.
Keith Lemon: The Film Lionsgate Cert TBC - Out in August 2012 10 years ago, when all we knew about Leigh Francis was prosthetics and ‘Craaaig David’, who would have thought that one of his characters would be seen on the big screen. Later in 2012 Mr Keith Lemon aka Business Man of the Year 1993 will finally have a feature film in cinemas. Francis has cowritten the script alongside the film’s director, Paul Angunawela, and filming began in September 2010. Earlier this month images of a bloodied Keith Lemon surfaced from scenes that he filmed in Belfast, so expect the unexpected when it come to the Celebrity Juice star. Apparently there is footage of a topless Kelly Brooke too.
PROJECT X Warner Brothers Cert 18 - Out Now It’s been called “Superbad on crack” but this is not a movie. It’s a feeling. Kids plan party, party gets out of hand, kids learn lesson. As cliché an American plot device as you get, the perfect suburban high school students in the big house, given cars as birthday presents, falling in love with the physically perfect girl next door. Add that to the minutes-long sequence of nutpunches, dolled out by an angry dwarf fresh from being shoved in the oven and you’ll start to build a picture of just how seriously the Nima Nourizadeh directed film takes itself. (TS)
Neighbourhood Watch 20th Century Fox Cert TBC - Out 24 August With Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill and our very own Richard Ayoade (the legendry geek of IT Crowd fame), we’ve watched the teaser trailer for this 24 August bound comedy quite a few times. It’s only a taster but you get the whiff that something quite brilliant could be afoot. When writers Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg get together (Superbad, Pineapple Express, etc.) you know you’re going to be in for a ride. Throw in suburban dads protecting their community and aliens masquerading as humans it all gets a bit messy. We expect this to be a classic.
American Pie: The Reunion Universal Yes, Stifler and the FULL gang are back for more frat humour riddled tomfoolery only they’re older, wiser and (the franchise are hoping) funnier than before. As soon as that “stained” sock lands on Jim and Michelle’s child’s head in the official teaser trailer, you can instantly tell they’re not wiser. Expect the same pale ale drinking, boob bouncing, Shermanating shenanigans as before. Big!!!
Ice Age: Continental Drift 20th Century Fox We really, really liked the original Ice Age, since then, this series has been getting progressively worse, let’s be honest. We’d rather spend time in an actual ice age than watch another outing. Oh, did we mention how much we liked the original? Yeah, I guess we did.
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Despite being dubbed a teen flick, this fictional party of epic proportions has had everyone who appreciates a completely crazy, out of control impromptu gathering on gas mark infinity over the past few months. After succumbing to the hype, RWD just had to break down Project X into a few facts and figures. Analysis by Nardene Scott Visuals by Sam Hardy
To achieve the desired POV aspect throughout the film, 12 - yes 12 - camera systems were used, and a plethora of cameras from the lipstick sized Iconix that mimicked the police surveillance to Canon 5Ds/6Ds and even Flip-Cams, iPhone’s and Blackberry’s, which were used by the extras.
Party security was handled by two weedy as hell but seriously hilarious adolescents who came complete with matching day-glo jackets, slicked back hair, guest list, plus nun-chucks and tasers. However, T-Rick the drug dealer the party thrower’s screwed over did the damn thing with his flame thrower. The Hangover series had a tiger and a monkey, Milo is Project X’s pet of choice. We reckon it took at least 15 balloons to make the Yorkshire Terrier fly. Yep the party was cray...shout out the RSPCA stilllll! Project X is out now in cinemas nationwide. @UKProjectXParty 80 / RWDMAG.COM
Equivalent amount of footage in feet of film collected by the multiple visual devices throughout shooting although the editorial department completed the first draft just two weeks following the wrap. The work rate is no joke.
The height of Martin Klebba aka the random angry midget at the party who got stuffed into the oven for trying to bring negative vibes to the ensuing gnarlfest (yes the oven was on). But to be fair, driving the Merc into the pool was one hell of a comeback.
We can’t believe this pool sign worked, maybe it had something to do with all those illegal tablet treats T-Rick’s stolen gnome was packed to the brim with; either way it was an opportunity for plenty of slow motion underwater camera action.
Can you believe birthday boy Thomas Kub was only turning seventeen, like come on, that type of debaucherous shindig really wasn’t necessary was it? 16, 18 (or even 21 but you defo should have moved out by then) but 17?!?!
Sources IMDb.com YouTube.com Dailymail.co.uk warnerbros.com
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FINAL WORD WILL POULTER
FINAL WORD: WILL POULTER Known as the fresh faced funny kid from Channel 4’s School of Comedy, 2007’s cult classic Son of Rambow and the forthcoming Wild Bill, 19 year-old Will Poulter is an Arsenal fan who’s had loads to laugh about. Words by Danny Walker
You’re like the baby faced assassin of comedy and now you’re branching out, how would you describe yourself? I dunno, that sounds kinda cool (laughs). Well, the Babyface bit, the assassin isn’t so cool [laughs]. But thanks. I had an amazing opportunity with School of Comedy. When I was younger, I loved my comedy and I still do and so I just got a real opportunity, a chance to perform in front of people live and then eventually it progressed to TV. That was just such a huge break for me. I feel really grateful but since then I’ve enjoyed the opportunity to work towards establishing myself as an actor in dramas and stuff. Although I love comedy, I feel that’s where my passion is at. Doing drama is more of an interesting challenge. Tell us an interesting fact about your name please. I don’t have any nicknames really, they’re all just variations of my surname. Like ‘Poults’ and ‘Poulty’ and ‘Poultron’. So any nicknames I’ve had are just an abuse of my surname. You’re London born and bred, right? 82 / RWDMAG.COM
Yeah I have spent most of my life in west London, Chiswick. I’ve been there for 19 years and I love it. I can’t really imagine living anywhere else really. Who do you support? Arsenal are my team, it’s been an interesting season. It’s just amazing how well we’ve played over the last couple of weeks. Why not leave it until the last minute when we’re out of all competitions! It’s just great seeing van Persie play well. Who was your boyhood idol? When I was younger Thierry Henry, I was Thierry Henry mad. Then Fabregas and he left [laughs]. And acting-wise I have loads. One of the people who left the best acting impression on me was Marlon Brando from Godfather. Musicwise I’m into Nas and Jay-Z and Kano UK-wise. I managed to get Watch the Throne tickets - I stayed on the phone for hours! When was the last time you were measured for a suit? About a week ago for the Glasgow Film Festival for Wild Bill. It was good, I like wearing suits.
How were you offered the role for School of Comedy? That was a weird one, it started as an after school club and we’d do sketches and improvisations. It was a bit of a laugh and then we ended up taking it to clubs – they were scared of having kids in adult venues – and then we ended up at Edinburgh Festival. That was an amazing place to start, I recommend it. Do you get the, ‘It’s that kid from Son of Rambow still? Yeah I do. I don’t mind. I think it’s nice when people are nice. The only time it’s awkward is when they recognise you but they don’t know where from. I’d much rather people come up to me and ask me for a photo than shy away from it. What’s the secret of comedy? Go with your instinct. Tell us about Wild Bill... It’s a feel good drama set in the heart of east London with many aspects of a typical gangster flick but it’s different. The heart of the story is family. It’s a tale of relationships. Wild Bill is out 23 March. @willpoulter