Training Your Dog To Shut The Fuck Up While I Am Trying To Fuckin Sleep Yeah, I said it. How many of you motherfuckers have a puppy, or a dog, or are thinking of getting one? I got a fuckin brat of a terrier, and this son of a bitch is an asshole. It may be too late to fully train this motherfucker – I ain't shittin you! The poor fucker is like 7 years old, and he is just his own motherfucker. When you tell him to sit, the fucker just looks at you like, “Who the fuck are you?” Oh yeah? I'm the fucker that feeds your ass and takes all of your bullshit! Don't fuck with me, or I'll kick your ass you hairy ass motherfucker! Oh yeah, and try to fuckin trim his hair – he'll make Michael Jackson look like a masculine son of a bitch. Anyway, I sure like the motherfucker – love him – regardless. I just wish I had known about this new training manual my asshole ex-girlfriend bought for her new puppy. The fucker is like 5 months old and is a gem. He sits, stays, heels, fetches, etc. Anything. It pisses me the fuck off because thats all I fuckin need – now my dog is worse than hers – fuck that shit. She always said that everything about her was so much better than me – and now, I got the fuckin dog shit flying in my face proving her right? Uh-Uh. Fuck that! So I got this training manual, The Secrets to Dog Training, the other day for like 40 dollars. I was like, for 40 fuckin bucks this shit better be good. But because they give you a 60 day money back guarantee, I was like, ok i'll bite at this like my terrier bites at my fuckin shoelaces. I mainly bought the shit because of the success my ex-girlfriend has had with her little fucker. I also got it because she wouldn't shut her fuckin trap about a section in the book called dog whispering, and how she can't stop watchin that fuckin show, “The Dog Whisperer,” which is a dumbass alias for Cesar Milan. Never saw this fuckin show before – so I tuned in for laughs. I thought dog whispering was some kind of bullshit puppy psychic theory, that shows you how much I fuckin knew. Damn, Cesar Milan is a motherfucker with this shit. And, to make matters better, the same motherfucker that wrote The Secrets to Dog Training guested on Milan's fuckin show that day and visited little spoiled shit animals on the show with him. I figured if the author is good enough to be on Milan's show then the fuckin manual must be a mofo too. I ordered the fucker shortly after that. By the way, if Cesar Milan comes to my house and tames this little fucker of mine, I will kick his ass. I will beat him unmerciful. It would piss me the fuck off. How dare he be so good. Same goes for Daniel Stevens, the author of The Secrets to Dog Training. I'll take their fuckin advice and do it myself, don't come over to my house and me look like a fuckin asshole, successfully training my dog better than I could. While the book doesnt only talk about dog whispering, it goes through three fuckin different ways to make your mutt do the right shit. There's a lot of fuckin good stuff in here,
not a lot of bullshit, and you get a shitload of other free shit with it. Pretty fuckin much the bomb if you ask me. So after watchin some of the videos, and reviewin some of the material, I decided where is that little shit dog of mine – i'm gonna try this shit out. By the way, i'm starting to wonder whether Daniel Stevens is a fuckin dog or not. He loves dogs a bit too much. Sometimes I got nervous what he would do next. Oh well, I fuckin digress, as usual. So I get a hold of my filthy animal, Dodi, and try to patiently teach this fucker how to sit without lookin at me like an asshole. After a couple of days it finally worked, and he pretty much sits on command. Now we're workin on rolling the fuck over, we'll see what happens there. The fucker can shake too, now. All in one fuckin week! And, that's good for me, because I aint got no fuckin patience. So, he might be ok after all. Bottom line, check this shit out today. It really worked wonders on my little asshole, and I think it will help you too. Some morons who get this shit will be like, I dont understand this, its too hard. Then pay the fuck attention. It's not that hard to understand, motherfuckers, and if you have a dog or are getting one soon, or whatever the fuck your situation is – get this training course. Daniel Stevens is a motherfucker with this shit. Don't fuck with him, just buy his fuckin book and get started to fuckin successfully training your fluff ball. And, do it better than me and my dumb ass ex-girlfriend too – no, not better than me – just better than her. Don't Fuck Up! Get The Secrets To Dog Training Today