Friendship Dynamics

from Saathee Charlotte April 2021

Nutrition for Life

Changing Dynamics in Friendship

Musings from a socially connected world

My Voice by Aarti Sengupta

“Man is by nature a social animal” — said the renowned Greek philosopher Aristotle many centuries ago. I’m sure even Aristotle would have never imagined that the 21st century would take “being social” to exponential levels of imagination. Social media platforms are thriving industries worth billions.

I must admit, I have enjoyed analyzing the different facets of this quote and have also loved speaking for and against it over the years. I have always been fascinated by the way social connections affect our friendships and relationships. Until about a decade ago, the dynamics of social life were so different, we were all connected, but not as connected as we are today. Connections were real and not virtual.

By virtue of being born and raised between the 1960’s — 2010, Gen X and Millennials have been fortunate to witness the paradigm shift to the term “being social”. Until recently, if someone was a social butterfly, it meant they were meeting real people, going out, partying, socializing and talking to their family, friends, neighbors and colleagues. Today, being social means that you are active and visible on all social media platforms such as Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, Twitter, LinkedIn and others. You create content and are posting to keep your audience hooked. You are socially successful if you have your target audience mesmerized and asking for more of your content. The competition is very stiff, but it takes a lot more energy and effort than traditional socializing, where we made an effort to meet new people and keep up with existing relationships.

Gen Z is the new generation of kids who are born after 2012. These are kids who are born into social media. Unfortunately, they have not experienced traditional ways of relationships and friendships. Their virtual presence precedes their real identity.

That brings me to my favorite topic, how does this new virtual social era bring a twist to our relationships and friendships? I love discussing this with kids, teenagers & adults alike to get their perspectives.

Til a few years back, when social media was non-existent, we did not have constant connection with over 500 friends and acquaintances. We did not feel the need to share our daily activities or get validation from every person we met daily. Honestly, since the social media platforms didn’t exist (blessing in disguise), we never thought of social validations. Influence of others in matters of friendships, relationships, arguments, disagreements etc. was minimal. Our thoughts were not clouded by multiple opinions, and we did not have nagging inputs from acquaintances on matters that don’t even concern them.

Now let’s fast forward to the present. Most of us wake up with our smartphones. Every social media app that is available to us is filled with messages. Some may be directed to us, but most others would be random, unrelated and in some cases unnecessary. Knowingly or unknowingly each message creates a subconscious bias in our brain. Clouded with these messages, we start our day. As we continue chatting with our friends and acquaintances about the day’s happenings, we get a ton of opinions (some warranted and some completely unwarranted). Some of these opinions and comments will trigger further conversations with a greater number of people.

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