by

Sereena Kumar

Reality appears differently for everyone because it is seen through different eyes that have gone through different experiences. Our past experiences are hidden in our everyday thoughts and actions. We form assumptions about the world and ourselves based on our past experiences. For example, if you fail a math test, you may believe that you will fail every single math test that follows because you believe that you are horrible at math. We unintentionally predict the outcome of an event even before we attempt it. The past holds power over us, leading us to believe that we don’t have any control over the present. We are born with a clear lens of the world. This hypothetical lens isn’t yet tainted with the worry of failure. Our brain has no past experiences to look back on to make a judgement of situations that we face. If we had no prior knowledge of earth or people, we would see how reality really is, without any blurry vision.

I was a happy kid who sang whenever I could find the time, annoying my parents endlessly by unleashing my screechy voice in the middle of the night. One bad solo changed my passion and changed the way I saw myself. I forgot the lyrics in my Elementary school choir, and it felt like the worst mistake that I had ever made. In reality, the worst mistake I had ever made was to be silent for a whole year after that performance. I refused to sing even though it was previously my whole world. My clear lens became blue and I felt sorrow every time I heard my friends happily singing and joking around. I desperately wanted to join them but at the same time, I never wanted to feel the dread of forgetting the words ever again.

It is important to find the point of origin of your fears. Why are you scared of your upcoming math test? If you dig deep into the past, you will uncover the memory that all this fear stemmed from. Ask yourself this: just because I failed miserably in that one memory, does that really mean that the same thing will happen again? When I finally challenged the belief that I was bad at singing after a year of silence, I laughed at how silly it was. I rewatched my old Elementary school performance and realized that it was not a total trainwreck like how it was in my mind. My blue colored lenses had created an illusion that it was a trainwreck. Today, the only lenses that I wear are prescription clear colored glasses. I want to see reality through those glasses - not the glasses that filter out everything positive in the world.

Teenage Story continued on page 80