Raajeev’s Corner

Monkey and Ginger

Raajeev’s Comedy Corner by Raajeev Aggerwhil

We tried a new Indian restaurant in Los Angeles. I was really mad after taking a bite to discover that they had served meat samosas instead of vegetarian samosas. The server offered to bring a replacement but my son, Vicktor, was afraid because I had already lost my temper. “Dad, they are going to spit in your food.” How can you argue with that? So, we got up and were ready to leave. The manager kept saying, “Please sit down, Sir.” I didn’t want to say anything, but he was persistent, so I told him, “My son is afraid you’ll spit in our food.” He said, “No, Sir. We will never do that.” Vicktor chimed in, “What if we don’t leave a tip?” He replied, “But we will find out afterwards so that will be on your next visit, right?” It is hard to argue with Vicktor. He continued, “So, you’ll spit on our next visit.” We all knew there was no use arguing. A doubt had been created and there was no way to bring back the trust, so we left!

A few years back during our visit to DC, my wife wanted to try a new Indian restaurant for lunch that she had heard great things about, especially their famous palak chaat. I had a business meeting so I told her to go ahead on her own and I would join her a little later. When I went there after an hour, she told me that the restaurant staff had been giving her a royal treatment. They answered all her questions patiently while she ordered a variety of hors d’oeuvre. They even escorted her to the rest room. She was happy but also confused at that time. Later she realized that after seeing her eagerness to try new dishes, her dress and her mannerisms, they assumed that she was a food critique who was there to write a review about their restaurant.

I am usually not that fortunate to have a great experience at Indian restaurants, especially when I travel alone on business. When I am dressed in a suit, other people think I am the server. A couple left me a tip in my hand as they were leaving. When I looked down, it was a ten dollar bill. I took it and told them, “Thank you for coming. Come again. Try the chicken tikka masala next time.” This confusion based on a stereotype continues beyond restaurants. I rented a black Cadillac and pulled into the hotel entrance in DC. An old lady got into the back seat and said, “Airport please.” Boy I was mad! She only tipped me 4 bucks and only 2 stars on Yelp!

I read somewhere that restaurants seat beautiful, well-dressed people next to the windows because it attracts more customers. Now we are not exactly the model customers. The fancier the restaurant, the worse seat we get. First time we went to a fancy Italian restaurant, they stuck us by the bathroom. Another fancy restaurant seated us by the kitchen. The third time, at a really fancy restaurant, they didn’t even bother seating us. They just gave us our food to go!

Once when traveling to Maryland, my flight had got delayed so by the time I reached the hotel, it was past 11 pm and all the restaurants near my hotel were closed. I found one restaurant which

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