Final seinfeld book issuu by Sabrina DiPasquale

a commemorative recap to celebrate televisions greatest sitcom

TWENTY FIVE YEARS OF NOTHING

Copyright ÂŠ 2015 by NBC Seinfeld Productions All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or, otherwise, without written permission of the publishers. A Seinfeld Publication Concept and design by Seinfeld Production In Association with NBC Seinfeld Productions. NBC Press P.O. Box 120345 NY, NY Printed in the United States of America

90847352362

TWENTY FIVE YEARS OF NOTHING a commemorative recap to celebrate televisions greatest sitcom

01 02 03 the making the the the the the

creation creator collaboration ideation location

the moments

the people

jerry seinfeld cosmo kramer elaine benes george costanza the others

seasons one - three seasons four - five seasons six - seven seasons eight - nine the lines

end notes on page 64

i am not doi you som not to h

m sobusy doing thing ...that the idea of ing anything - which as u know, always leads to mething- cuts into the thing and then forces me have to drop everything .

THE MAKING

the creation.

You’ve heard the phrase,“Don’t sweat the small stuff,”right? Well, Seinfeld’s writers ate, slept, and breathed the small stuff.

The hit sitcom so often relied onthe word-based humor, American customs, Jewish references — and it led to the creation of some seriously amazing comedic material.

On July 5th, 1989 NBC launched the first episode of the hit series Seinfeld. It aired for nine seasons. The show is set in Manhattan’s upper west side on an apartment complex. The show is a handful of Jerry’s friends and acquaintances but mostly his best friends. Many of Seinfeld’s shows are based of his real life experiences that are recreated in the show and shown through the characters. Over the course of nine seasons, Seinfeld, a.k.a. “the show about nothing,” made viewers laugh with its unexpected, always hilarious observations about life. From dinner party etiquette, to Junior Mints, to getting caught picking your nose at a stop light, there was no social custom or situation too small for Seinfeld to tackle, making the now iconic sitcom always feel fresh. Seinfeld states that the show is suppose to show humor and especially with some of the characters in the series. The humor in this series is suppose to be funny because of the fail or disastrous results of the other characters. Importantly, the show also never wants to make you feel bad or sorry for the characters even after Susan’s death, one of the characters. This family sitcom is unlike any other. The show has its own structure and is developed by presenting a thread and story line at the beginning of every show. The rapid scene shifts between plot lines help bring the stories together. Unlike most sitcoms, Seinfeld does not follow a pattern. The characters stories and life events vary and intertwine in each and every episode. What helps this situation is that the stories in previous episodes are expanded on and brought up again in later episodes. While each episode of Seinfeld is anchored by strong performances from Seinfeld himself, Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Elaine Benes, Jason Alexander as George Costanza, and Michael Richards as Cosmo Kramer, the show’s lasting legacy is without a doubt its hysterical, incredibly unique writing. Seinfeld aired its series finale over 16 years ago, but thanks to syndication, new audiences are being exposed to its brilliance every day. And yes, Seinfeld is still making people laugh. During its nine-year run, Seinfeld was nominated for an impressive 11 Emmy Awards for Outstanding Writing in a Comedy Series (winning twice). The show is full of so many memorable quotations and phrases, it’ll make your head spin. Even though the show started in the late 1980s, the show has become so popular and is still popular with many people even though it does not create more shows, the re-runs are entertaining as ever. This is because it was a revolutionary show that became a hit and model for future shows and movies. One of the best shows to be created.

the creator.

THE MAKING

Larry David.

L A R R Y DAV I D. the maker, creator, writer, coordinator of Seinfeld.

not qui anonymou was LARRY’S FIRST RESPONSE WHEN ASKED HOW HE FEELS AFTER THE SITCOM’S SUCCESS.

THE MAKING

“

LARRY DAVID The maker of Seinfeld

ite as as i ous ” s before 13

Creator & head writer

arry David is an American actor and comedian who is probably best known as the co-creator (along with Jerry Seinfeld), executive producer, and frequent writer of Seinfeld. He was the inspiration for the character George Costanza. Twenty-five years ago, Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld created a little show about nothing that changed everything about the way we watch TV. Seinfeld’s pilot episode (known as The Seinfeld Chronicles) debuted on July 5th, 1989 and went on to run for 180 episodes most fans can recite by heart — Larry David, however, is the rare exception. When we called him to reflect on one of the most beloved sitcoms of all time, his first remark was, “It’s funny because I haven’t seen an episode in years.” That was also part of the whole initial concept. The premise of the show was going to be “how a comedian gets his material.” So, we would follow Jerry around throughout his day or week, and whatever he experienced in the episode, he would do a stand-up routine about it at the end. And it would also open with his stand-up thing. So really, it was going to be called Seinfeld, or, parenthesis, (How

a Comedian Gets His Material). Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld first noted their comedic affinity for each other when Seinfeld read some comedic material David had “gifted” a friend, Carol Leifer for her birthday. David — nearly broke — had given Leifer some jokes as a birthday “gift.” Too drunk to read them aloud, she handed them off to Seinfeld; he killed, which suggested some creative potential between the two men. In 1976, David met Jerry Seinfeld and the pair cemented a tight friendship. David landed roles as a writer and performer for ABC show Fridays (19791982) and Saturday Night Live (1984-85), meeting future Seinfeld collaborators including Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Larry Charles. David quit SNL after only one of his sketches was aired during his time there. When NBC approached Seinfeld in 1988 to develop a sitcom, the pair teamed up and pitched the idea of “a show about nothing”. Seinfeld became one of the most successful sitcoms television history, with nine seasons between 1989 and 1998. Many of the story lines, such as George returning to a job he quit a few days prior, are based on things that really happened to him.

that's a long story... I actually was eavesdropping on him talking to another comedian, and I wasn't even in comedy yet. But he was leaning on my car in front of the Improv on 9th Ave and 44th Street, and this would be probably 1975. That was the first time I ever saw him. But we didn't talk. But him and this other comedian were leaning on the fender of my car, and I knew that they were real comedians and I was still just flirting with it. So I don't know if that answers the question. Then when we finally did talk in the bar Catch a Rising Star on 1st Ave and 78th Street 2 or 3 years after that, we couldn't stop talking. We were both obsessed with the smallest possible issue.

Jerry and Larry

THE MAKING

The first time I met him,

the collaboration.

It’s the bromance which resulted in one of the most successful TV shows in sitcom history, but how did Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld first discover they were comedy soulmates? 15 Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld first noted their comedic affinity for each other when Seinfeld read some comedic material David had “gifted” a friend, Carol Leifer for her birthday. David — nearly broke, had given Leifer some jokes as a birthday “gift.” Too drunk to read them aloud, she handed them off to Seinfeld; he killed, which suggested some creative potential between the two men. Seinfeld and David met on the New York comedy club circuit in the early eighties, and as they and others tell it, their first creative collaboration came about haphazardly. At the birthday party of a friend (comedy writer Carol Leifer), Seinfeld read aloud some material David had written for Leifer in lieu of a gift. “I got big laughs reading this routine, and it was the first time that I thought his material really works well with my voice”, Seinfeld remembers. The next night, after performing at a club, the pair went to a diner and swapped ideas on potential

TV shows. Following spots on The Tonight Show, Jerry Seinfeld had been approached by NBC to pitch a series, and he needed a writer. It wasn’t until the duo’s post-diner visit to a Korean grocery where they set about riffing about the shop’s products, that the idea for Seinfeld began to form. “It occurred to me,” remembered David, “that this is the kind of discussion you never really hear on television, and that it would be funny.”Larry said this is what the show should be,” recalls Seinfeld, “Just, you know, making fun of stuff…” The first idea was for a show about how a comedian gets his material. The plan would have been to follow Seinfeld around for a period of time, watching him have experiences that would eventually be turned into the stand-up set that would finish the episode. (The oft-quoted “show about nothing” line doesn’t describe the actual pitch for Seinfeld, it was a meta in-joke created for season four’s arc - one of many taken directly from

David’s own life - in which George and Jerry pitch a TV comedy to a network and describe it as exactly that. Far from being a show about nothing, Seinfeld, particularly in its early days, juggled multiple plots and featured triple the average number of sitcom scenes per episode - largely a result of the creators’ inexperience and endeavor to give each main character a storyline each week). Unable to stretch that premise to the planned 90-minute Special, the idea for a half-hour series was born. Rob Reiner at Castle Rock Entertainment pin-pointed the central dynamic that eventually drove the series to success. “Larry and Jerry shared such a great sensibility. What was wonderful was you had this curmudgeonly, misanthropic, dyspeptic Larry David being pushed through by this very accessible, likable Jerry Seinfeld… it was a marriage made in heaven.”

THE MAKING

the ideation.

b e h i n d t h e scenes.

For Seinfeld, there was no writer’s

room.There was a man named Peter Mehlman, and then there were the people who wrote the episodes that he thought of. Mehlman can be credited for writing such classic episodes as “The Smelly Car,” “The Hamptons,” and “The Sponge”.This writer also created some of the show’s most iconic catchphrases, including “shrinkage,” “double-dip,” and “yada yada.” Peter Mehlman shared his experience behind writing for such a hit sitcom in addition to the unique way the show was put together.

The process of writing a Seinfeld episode First, you come up with an idea — well, you really need to come up with four ideas, or three, because you have to have all of the characters engaged. Coming up with story ideas was absolutely the most important part of your job, which is not true of 90 percent of sitcoms where you’re doing it as a group.

Mix and matching the ideas for episodes Well, it changed. It would be different according to what point of the season it was. When you first got together to start writing a new season, you hopefully had come up with a bunch of ideas. Larry would say, “I love that idea,” or “I don’t love that idea.” So you’d take the ones that they like, and then that would be it. But once the season was underway, it was a much less structured situation. Like, I remember going up to Larry during “The Masseuse” episode, and I had this idea about Jerry dating a masseuse and everyone getting massages. All she wants is sex, and he can’t get a massage. It kind of ended up playing out as a date-rape satire, with him trying to forcibly try to get a massage. But I remember going up to Larry on the set and saying, “You know what’s a perfectly small, good idea that I like? What if Jerry’s dating a girl who hates George?” Larry said, “That is such a you idea.” Throughout the entire run, I’d subscribe to the really tiny, slice-of-life ideas. I wasn’t a “Puerto Rican Day Parade” type of writer. I didn’t make salads in the sink and that type of shit. None of that was interesting to me. In the episode with shrinkage, I was really stuck for what happened to turn the story over and give it a little engine for the second act, and Larry had this idea: What if George goes into the pool and, you know, it’s cold and he comes out? And I said, “Oh, and he has shrinkage?” And Larry said, “Yeah, shrinkage. And use that word. Use it a lot.” It was very informal about that type of thing. Once the episode is being shot that week, you’re on the set all the time, but you’re not really punching up like they do on other shows. Once Larry was confident in something, he didn’t care whether the cameramen stopped laughing at the joke.

from the writer and producer

Peter Mehlman

Why certain lines stuck. It’s because of the relatability. It’s putting terminology on something that a lot of people have experienced. “Sponge-worthy” is not a direct thing that a lot of people experience, but deeming somebody worth sleeping with and reducing them down to a phrase, you can see why that would catch on.

Larry David’s signature endings. I’d like to say it worked organically or it worked from going backwards, but it worked and didn’t work in all of those ways. It never really happened the same way twice. A couple of times, I would think that I had it down pat, like in the episode with Teri Hatcher, “The Implant.” I had stories, but I also started off with four or five really great scenes. They had nothing to do with each other, but I knew they would make great scenes, so I started finding a way of mating them together. That episode came out great, so I thought that that was the way I would always do it. It never worked that way again. The process of that was pretty much a struggle every time.

No writers room? Well, it all hinged on how good of a job you did. There were times when it was like a complete makeover, and other times where it was more of a massaging. After a couple of years, if there was something wrong with the story and then they figured out a new way to do it, they would always tell me and let me write it because they trusted me. So, where I might’ve felt a little loss of ownership on the story itself, they were nice enough to let me still feel [like] a part of it.

Jerry’s and Larry’s. Yeah, and at certain times those were at odds, because Larry was much more willing to go to darker places than Jerry. Like in the episode “The Alternate Side,” which was written by Bill Masters, when Elaine is dating that older guy and he has a stroke and she’s feeding him Yankee-bean soup and she kind of loses it and starts singing, “Yankee bean, Yankee bean,” Jerry felt very queasy about that, and Larry just loved it.

What didn’t stick. “Yada yada” completely wiped out “anti-dentite.” And I really liked “anti-dentite.” I love when Kramer goes, “You’re a rabid antidentite!” I really liked that one more than “yada yada.”

applying the minutiae of everyday life. I kind of made the transition to living a more normal life after around three or four seasons. I had never really written scripts before — I was a journalist — so Seinfeld was the first time I was doing something creative. I got obsessed with that, and I’d look at Larry and the way that he was so in tune with his tiniest thoughts. Most of us have these thoughts that could be pure gold, but we’re not aware of them. We don’t think in those terms. I was trying to be aware of my own thoughts, and it went overboard. After one season, I went to a health spa for a few days because I was just fried. I had met this girl there, and eventually we started making out. As we’re making out, I’m thinking, Oh, it’s funny how every girl has got her own little kissing system. Hands here. Lips there. And then all of a sudden I was like, Oh my God, I’m observing my own thoughts in the middle of making out! That’s when I realized that this was going a little bit too far. I think by my fifth season, I hit a happy medium of trying to be aware of my own thoughts but actually living.

The timeless moments. I think the show holds up because it’s just so much about human dealings and human foibles and little peccadillos and the same kinds of mistakes that we all make — and we keep making them. Even though there are cell phones and the internet, which would have changed a lot of things on the show, I don’t think the absence of all that technology makes the show any less relevant. We’re all just making the same faux-pas and saying the wrong things. No matter what, there’s always going to be social interactions that go really the wrong way. There’s always going to be dating.

Seinfeld live. The fact that it was shot in front of a live audience is part of the reason it was so good. Those were live performers. Jerry and Julia and Michael and Jason: They’re used to performing before live audiences. It’s what they do. It makes it funnier. Sometimes when there’s a huge laugh, you see the actors holding for the laugh to subside, and there’s something really charming about that.

The most iconic Seinfeld episodes. Well, I would always go with “The Contest,” because all four characters are so deeply involved in it. But the one I really love also is “The Deal,” when Jerry and Elaine try to make an arrangement where they can remain friends and yet sleep together. Why it typifies the show is that a lot of Seinfeld is these characters trying to create a perfect world. Like, Why can’t everything be better?

THE MAKING

“much more specific, and more neurotic, and more New York.” As much as Seinfeld is a show about nothing, it’s also essentially a show about NewYork. No other series integrated Manhattan life into its story lines to a greater degree. It wasn't clear at the beginning that the city itself would be such a big character in the show. I really think one of the secret appeals of the show is this kind of utopian existence of living in Manhattan and not having to work. So rather than staging a show about nothing, New York made Seinfeld a show about anything.The city supplied the “excruciating minutia” that kept the narrative motor running for a group of self-obsessed, over-analytical, otherwiseunoccupied characters. From Steinbrenner to Mickey Mantle to Keith Hernandez, chance sidewalk encounters to apartment and doorman etiquette, an endless parade of health clubs and diners to a bottomless dating pool, glorious Hamptons weekends to 3 a.m. cock fights to games of Risk on the subway — the situations were all contrived, and anywhere but the location. NewYork they might have felt like it.

METRO THEATRE

UPPER WEST SIDE NORTH

YADDA YADDA, YADDA...

110TH ST.

86TH ST.

UPPER WEST SIDE SOUTH JERRY’S APARTMENT

CENTRAL PARK

UPPER EAST SIDE

57TH ST.

THE ORIGINAL SOUP MAN

MIDTOWN NORTH

THE IMPROV

MENDY’S

MONK’S CAFÉ

Monk’s Cafe is the

THE MAKING

name of the diner that Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer frequently visit. Often referred to as “The Coffee Shop” by the four friends, Monk’s served as the social haven for the group (outside of Jerry’s apartment), whom used it for coffee, breakfast, lunch, & dinner.

There have been many workers of Monk’s shown, the most prominent being Ruthie Cohen who was shown in numerous episodes, but only had a few lines in the entire series. The outside of Monk’s was of a real restaurant, Tom’s Restaurant, located on the corner of Broadway and West 112th Street in New York. The outside of Tom’s does not line up correctly with the inside of Monk’s, with windows and doors not being placed same locations.

the coffee shop.

The diner was the “Central Perk” meeting spot for the gang to sit faceto-face and discuss mostly nothing, it also has the distinction of being the only place where Elaine can get her favorite “Big Salad”.

THE PEOPLE

Seinfeld deconstructed a very particular group of New Yorkers â&#x20AC;&#x201D; unlikeable New Yorkers. The iconic four single friends -- comic Jerry Seinfeld, bungling George Costanza, frustrated working gal Elaine Benes and eccentric neighbor Cosmo Kramer -deal with the absurdities of everyday life in New York City.

the

gang

THE PEOPLE

THE CHARACTERS WERE THE ICONS OF A CYNICAL AGE: THE SARCASTIC JERRY, THE APOPLECTIC GEORGE, THE FICKLY ELAINE AND THE SPASTIC KRAMER. HARDLY ROLE MODELS, THESE URBAN ANTIHEROES HELPED DEFINE THE IRONIC ’90S WITH AN ATTITUDE OF EASILY AGGRAVATED SELF-INTEREST.

Jerry THE PEOPLE

Jerry is the character that glues the show together. He is the observant to all of the ridiculous things that happen between the other main characters, often using his trademark observational jokes in the process. He does not seem to have much emotion throughout the show Elaine points out that he has “never felt remorse,” to which Jerry replies, “Yeah, I feel kinda bad about that.”

Jerry, as character and as cast, arguably anchored the show and made Seinfeld the sitcom spectacular hit of the 90s. Jerry Seinfeld (also mistakenly referred to as “Jerry Sienfeld” or “Jerry Sienfeld”) played a self-absorbed, loveable 30-something comedian living on Manhattan. He was just another quirky, charming comic showing promise on the New York City circuit. Seinfeld’s knack for the idiotic made audiences across the globe fall in love with his reasonable-yet-willowy character. Normally to be despised, Jerry Seinfeld related to audiences in ways other characters of the 90s simply could not. Was it so unrealistic to think viewers were just as self-focused, impractical, and yet completely normal? Jerry is one of the most “normal” characters on the show. He shows reasonable behavior and is generally Seinfeld considered the voice of reason among other chaotic characters. He is fairly well-balanced and more or less successful in his career, love life, and friend life. However, in “The Bizarro Jerry”, viewers get another glimpse of Jerry’s personality. In this episode, Jerry’s insecurities become evident when Kramer takes up a fake job and finds little time to join in the group’s misadventures. Jerry’s panic becomes even more obvious when Elaine declares “The

Seinfeld.

whole system is breaking down!” In another episode, “The Rye”, Elaine gets exasperated with Jerry’s perceived simplicity in life. After all, perception is reality, is it not? Elaine exclaims, “You know, one of these days, something terrible is going to happen to you!” Jerry, in his calm delivery, replies, “No, I’ll be fine.” Jerry Seinfeld, the character, lived in a wonderfully worn-in apartment on his own in Manhattan. The love of his life was comedy alone—that’s not to say he didn’t have whirlwind, albeit funny, romances. Jerry was the voice of reason among his four supporting friends: George Costanza, Elaine Benes, and Cosmo Kramer. Jerry was able to view the chaos around him, yet remain objective while misadventures took place around him. The love of his life was comedy alone—that’s not to say he didn’t have whirlwind, albeit funny, romances. Jerry was the voice of reason among his four supporting friends: George Costanza, Elaine Benes, and Cosmo Kramer. Jerry was able to view the chaos around him, yet remain objective while misadventures took place around him.

“You know the message you’re sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You’re telling the world, ‘I give up. I can’t compete in normal society. I’m miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.” JERRY ON GEORGE

27 Jerry Seinfeld as a cast member Jerry Seinfeld was also a comedian in real-life; therefore, it was hard to differentiate the lines between Jerry Seinfeld as a character with the authentic Jerry Seinfeld as a person. Therefore, his semi-fictionalized character was blurred with his real-life persona—all the more fun for fans of the show.

Jerry’s comical, bizarre, distrustful nemesis Newman

Jerry pre-Seinfeld Jerry Seinfeld Jerry Seinfeld was born April 29, 1954 in Massapequa, Long Island (as Jerry would say, Indian for “by the mall”). Just as his character in Seinfeld, Jerry spent a great deal of time traveling as a stand-up comic following the New York City circuit, and then touring nationally. Prior to his comedic career, Jerry was a television actor—albeit briefly— for a show named Benson in the early 80s. After he was thoughtfully dismissed from the show, Jerry returned to his love of stand-up comedy. In little time, he became wildly followed, which paved the way for his pilot sitcom television show—you got it, Seinfeld that followed a few short years later. Jerry post-Seinfeld Jerry Seinfeld In his career, Jerry has been successful in other showbiz productions including The Bee Movie, which was a hugely popular children’s animated feature film that premiered in 2007. Bee Movie was an inspirational heartstring-tugger that brought to light human affect on the bee population of the world. The movie was well-received by most critics, even though a few whistle blowers criticized the film for being “non-Seinfeld” in quirkiness or idiocy. Is there any chance for one last episode of Seinfeld? Curb Your Enthusiasm fans are begging, but they’ll have to settle for the aforementioned show as a quick fix. In 2000, Larry David, co-creator of Seinfeld, launched Curb Your Enthusiasm. It’s a funny show, and many Seinfeld fans have become diehard fans. But, is it a Seinfeld quick fix? No but we’ll settle for the band-aid.

George THE PEOPLE

Mr. Self-loathing himself, George Costanza, while Jason Alexander vulnerable and slightly neurotic, is still a loveable and necessary part of the Seinfeld series. He’s a self-proclaimed “short, stocky, slow-witted, bald man” that seems to constantly, invariably fail at life. George is an insecure, neurotic, yet lovable character that is invariably dominated by his parents.

George Louis Costanza is Jerry’s friend on Seinfeld—arguably, his best friend. In addition, he’s part of the whole gang as he is friends with Elaine and Kramer as well. Not necessarily a pure idiot, George displays some intelligence through his line of work (albeit unsteady), interest in the American Civil War, and as Jerry’s right-hand-man, confidant status. His character is loosely based on Seinfeld’s co-creator Larry David. He is self-aware of his nature, and has in fact blamed his parents “non-divorce” in attributing to his less-than-ideal, crazy nature. In other words, George might be the everyday late-30s, perpetual single man looking for acceptance, friendship and love. That’s what makes him so likeable and comedic. George is constantly fighting his tendencies to be dishonest, insecure, stingy, and selfish. In the episode George“The Opposite” Jerry Seinfeld instructs George to do completely opposite of what he would normally do. As a fact, George proceeds with the plan and lands a girlfriend plus his well-known job for the New York Yankees. It just seems that George can’t divert bad luck. It’s just in his nature.

“The Stake Out” prominently displays George’s penchant for lying and being outright dishonest. In this famous episode, George takes on the moniker “Art Vandelay”—the charming importerexporter. In later episodes, the comedic name reappears as Elaine’s fake boyfriend’s name in “The Boyfriend” episode. Later, “Vandelay Industries” reappears as the phony place of business George tells the unemployment office he’s close to working for. Vandelay continues to reappear in episodes like “The Cadillac”, “The Red Dot”, and “The Bizarro Jerry”. While George is one of the worst liars seen on planet earth, he redeems himself to the audience by ultimately getting caught. It’s unexplainable, but even with George’s extreme, undesirable behavior, there’s still room to appreciate and love his eccentric behavior. George is the son of Frank Costanza (Jerry Stiller) and Estelle Costanza (Estelle Harris). Though he never made an appearance on the show, George has mentioned twice that he has a brother. George also describes himself (and by implication his many neuroses) as the result of his parents having stayed together.

Costanza.

Jason Alexander, the cast member Why? He’s relatable. Viewers like knowing there’s someone out there just a little crazier than they are—is that so bad? It seems like life continually surprises George. Seinfeld, though, just wouldn’t be the same without him. George is the quintessential nutcase, but he does a good job at embracing the absurd and best of all, he’s completely aware of his misadventures and personality flaws, all the more reason George is one of Seinfeld’s favorite characters to love. Jason Alexander was born September 23, 1959 in Newark, New Jersey. Like the other Seinfeld cast members, Alexander is best known for his role as George Costanza in the sitcom series. He enjoyed an active career in showbiz throughout his life and continues to collaborate or appear on various shows including Curb Your Enthusiasm, Malcolm in the Middle, and Criminal Minds. Jason Alexander pre-Seinfeld Prior to his monumental success on Seinfeld, Alexander was a celebrated Broadway actor, winning the Tony Award for Best Actor in a Musical for Jerome Robbins’ Broadway. He also enjoyed silver screen action in popular films such as Pretty Woman, Shallow Hal, Jacob’s Ladder, and For Better or Worse. Jason Alexander post-Seinfeld After Seinfeld wrapped up its final 9th season, Alexander has kept busy in showbiz, first markedly by his less-than-popular return to primetime television. In his ABC sitcom, “Bob Patterson” was unfortunately cancelled just five episodes later due to a weak viewership. Later, Alexander collaborated and starred in the sitcom “Listen Up!” which also was cancelled within its second season. Alexander still kept up with show-business despite his less-thanfavorable attempts at gaining primetime market share. Later, Alexander worked on the Sudbury Comedy Show in Canada, launched the “Jason Alexander’s Comedy Spectacular” stand-up show in Australia, and “The Donny Clay” show in Las Vegas.

“every instinct i have in every aspect of life be it something to wear something to eat - its all been wrong.” GEORGE ON GEORGE

ART VANDELAY

bad friend, bad employee, bad son, bad fiancé, bad dinner guest, bad credit risk, bad date, bad sport, bad citizen, bad tipper, but never a bad boy.

the art of seduction

importer - exporter or architect

Elaine THE PEOPLE

Elaine Benes, the world’s favorite nut, provides the Elainefeminine balance, the female introspective, and the womanly voice in a world full of men. Elaine hangs with the guys; she’s one of the guys’ guys and is a confident, what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of woman. She is intelligent, funny, and, like most all other Seinfeld characters, slightly neurotic.

Elaine Benes is one of Jerry Seinfeld’s best friends. She is also warm and fuzzy with George and Cosmo Kramer as well, mainly by association. His strongest friendship, by far, is that with Jerry. As Jerry’s ex-girlfriend, Elaine knows him well and adds a good dimension to the show that allows the viewer to better understand Jerry and the rest of the characters on Seinfeld. Normally one to be assertive, confident and intelligent, Seinfeld Elaine still has those loveable Elaine“Seinfeldesque” qualities that make her a long-standing favorite character. For instance, Elaine doesn’t take baloney from anybody. She’s very firm in her beliefs and she’s proud of it. Elaine is edgy, superficial, and, well, she’s neurotic too. At the end of the day, she simply cannot help it. There’s a little neurotic behavior in all of us—that’s why Elaine is so easily relatable, especially by female viewer-ship. A prominent quirk is Elaine’s serial dating. More or less, Elaine does not settle. That’s why she’s constantly allowing people in and out of her life—with confidence. Elaine (Seinfeld episode “The Stall”) demonstrates her knack for the vain. When her boyfriend Tony gets into a rock climbing accident and mangles his face, she admits to Jerry she simply cannot date him any longer.

In the famous “Soup Nazi” episode, Elaine shows her tough side—and her penchant for making enemies. After refusing to follow the rules imposed by a New York City soup stand owner, she becomes his long-awaited enemy. Later, after finding his soup recipes in an abandoned armorer, she triumphs over her newfound, businesscrushing secrets. But forget about Jerry and his famous Puffy Shirt for a second. We should be focusing on the show’s real fashion star: Elaine Benes, played by the incomparable Julia Louis-Dreyfus. We’re not the first publication to point out that many of her outfits look like something you’d find today on a hipster in Williamsburg or an American Apparel mannequin, but that doesn’t mean we can’t take a minute to appreciate her. Elaine’s real strength came from her ability to look modest but stylish. Elaine’s ability to hold her own with Jerry and the gang without sacrificing her femininity. For example, in “The Stall”, Elaine is dating Tony, a very good-looking athletic type. After a rock climbing accident mangles Tony’s face, Elaine admits to Jerry that she can’t date someone who isn’t attractive and wonders how long she is obligated to stay with him post-accident.

Benes.

ELAINE ON KRAMER Jerry and Elaine travel to Florida for a dinner in honor of his father.

“Oh, hey, listen, by the way, have you seen a tall… lanky… doofus, with a, with a bird-face and hair like the Bride of Frankenstein?”

Julia Louis Dreyfus, the cast member Elaine’s ability to hold her own with Jerry and the gang without sacrificing her femininity is one of my favorite things about Seinfeld. She is portrayed as aggressive, often “accidentally” shoving her male pals to the ground, and George admits multiple times to being scared of her. But she’s simultaneously seen as attractive and feminine, having briefly dated Jerry and enjoying no shortage of male companions and admirers. Of course, you and I know that being able to kick it with the guys and also get a boyfriend aren’t mutually exclusive, but in Hollywood, it’s rarely portrayed this way. Elaine, however, was allowed to be just as crass, narcissistic, and insensitive as the rest of Jerry’s gang, and nobody seemed to mind. Why her present-day counterparts can’t be cut the same slack remains a mystery to me. Julia Louis Dreyfus, pre-Seinfeld Julia Scarlett Elizabeth Louis Dreyfus was born January 13, 1961 in New York City. She started her comedic career with a bang, as one of the regular cast members on Saturday Night Live, one of the most highly- and critically- acclaimed comedic television shows. It’s no wonder her success as a comedienne was highly praised while portraying Elaine Benes. During her successful TV career, she was later cast as Elaine Benes on Seinfeld. Julia, post-Seinfeld Julia Louis-Dreyfus won an Emmy award, a Golden Globe, and five Screen Actors Guild awards for her comedic contributions to Seinfeld. After completing nine wonderful and wildly successful seasons with the sitcom, Dreyfus continued to find success in primetime TV. Though not nearly as successful as her Seinfeld career, Dreyfus still had the most successful post-Seinfeld career on primetime television. The New Adventures of Old Christine lasted five seasons and she won her second Emmy. Not bad for you, Julia! While her earlier show, Watching Ellie, only lasted two seasons, her most memorable contribution to television remained as Seinfeld.

Cosmo THE PEOPLE

Seinfeld would be simply incomplete without our beloved Kramer, Cosmo Kramer. While Cosmo Kramer is arguably the craziest of the Seinfeld bunch, he brings a great deal of quirk, lovability, and interest to the show’s premise. Funny, eccentric and wild, Kramer is one of the most favorite characters on Seinfeld because he’s so dynamic to the show.

Kramer is Jerry’s neighbor, residing across the hall in Apartment 5B. Friends by association, he is also buddies with George Costanza and Elaine Benes. Being the free spirit that he is, Kramer holds no definitive job—he is able to survive mysteriously, holding odd-and-end jobs that never last. Kramer is trademarked for his outlandish hairdo and retro style. He’s constantly sporting fashions straight out of the 70s. His interests include Cuban Cigars, a penchant for skepticism and unreasonable expectations, straightforwardness, and of course, his high-energy bursts through Jerry’s front door. The Kramer is not a bashful character in fact; he’s arguably the most straightforward, wildly dispositional character on the show. For instance, on the episode entitled “The Parking Garage” he’s caught urinating in a parking stall simply because, well, he has to go. He’s unaware of rules, too. In “The Package” he commits mail fraud knowingly but without any sense of worry, remorse, or cause to refrain from. Kramer, in one word, is outlandish.

Kramer’s honesty is brutal. He is known to be full of the truth, without an ounce of tact. In “The Nose Job” he famously tells George’s girlfriend that she’s just as pretty as anyone else, but should consider a nose job to become prettier. Other personality features include onomatopoeia, phobias ranging from mice to clowns, and suffering from seizures. As an indispensable part of Seinfeld, Kramer was one of the funniest and quirkiest characters, not just on Seinfeld, but in sitcom history. While the steady source of his rent and diner money was a mystery (he remained on strike from his job at H&H Bagels for virtually the show’s entirety), he had myriad short-term gigs and get-rich-quick schemes, some of which even paid off; he did make $18,000 betting on a horse race and, most notably, was able to retire when his Coffee Table Book of Coffee Tables. His trademarks include his upright hairstyle and vintage wardrobe, whose combination led Elaine to characterize him as a “hipster doofus”; his taste in fresh fruit; love of occasional smoking, Cuban cigars in particular; bursts through Jerry’s apartment door; frequent pratfalls and penchant for nonsensical, percussive outbursts of noise to indicate skepticism, agreement and irritation.

Kramer.

“Job? I’ve never had a job.” KRAMER ON KRAMER

Michael Richards, the cast member Michael Anthony Richards was born July 24, 1949 in Culver City, California. Kramer, Michael Richards, was a great contribution to the Seinfeld series. He added a great deal of valuable comedy and content to the show. Though the show Seinfeld will remain as his greatest contribution to showbiz, Michael “Kramer” Richards still deserves his crowning spotlight in primetime TV pop culture. Cosmo Kramer (usually referred to by his last name only), played by Michael Richards, is the wacky neighbor and friend of Jerry Seinfeld. Cosmo was known only as “Kramer” for many years on the sitcom; not even Jerry knew his real name.

cock fighter coach, kramer, and little jerry

Michael Richards, before he was Seinfeld’s Kramer Prior to being famously cast as Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards enjoyed a career as a stand-up comic, touring nationally and eventually earning his debut primetime spotlight on the Billy Crystal TV Special, which aired on cable TV. After monumental success on the show and rave reviews, Richards landed a regular spot, appearing regularly on ABC Friday night airtime. In addition to his successful career as a stand-up comedian, Richards also appeared on other popular TV shows even prior to Seinfeld’s pilot. Cheers, Miami Vice, and Night Court all enjoyed Richards’ presence and contributions. Later, he would go on to star on the silver screen in such hits as Problem Child, Airheads, UHF, Coneheads, I Married an Axe Murder, and Young Doctors in Love. Kramer, Michael Richards, Post-Seinfeld Michael Richards immediately following the series finally of Seinfeld, Richards launched his own show entitled The Michael Richards Show. Unfortunately, the show was not a success and did not finish its first season. Later, and most famously, Richards was known for his Kramer racist rant. In an incident occurring on November 17, 2006, “racist Kramer” was videotaped on a cell phone explosively ranting to African-American hecklers in his audience after repeated interruptions and heckling. In his routine, he claimed to act even more outrageously in order to “neutralize” the situation.

how does kramer pay for his apartment?

Kramer’s entire work history, from miniscule

THE PEOPLE

officer. (Founded the think tank Kramerica Industries.) Culinary entr

and a restaurant that only serves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches ca restaurants to replace patrons’ soiled ones.) Movie actor. (Got one lin Murphy Brown.) Expert gambler. (Gainfully anticipated winning outc (Developed a beach-scented cologne.) Portrait model. (Posed for a innocent orphan in the postmodern world.”) Screenwriter. (Developed for a $400 profit.) Model. (Showcased in a Calvin Klein underwear a to music shops.)Tennis ball boy. Small-business investor. (Provide in. (Worked on the set of All My Children.) Clothing distributor (So in 1946, to Rudy's Antique Boutique. Author. (WroteThe CoffeeTable Beauty-pageant coach and chaperone. (Advised a Miss America co salesman. (Sold Kenny Bania the suit off his back for $300.) Departm designer. (Co-inventor of “the Bro”/“Manssiere,” “a support undergar for burning him with their scalding café latte.) Sports memorabilia the entireYankee organization.) Fireman. Moviefone man impersona they mistakenly dial his number, 555-FILK.)Cinéaste. (Collaborates o cab driver. Plaintiff. (Sued Oh Henry! candy bar heiress Sue Ellen Mi wearing just a bra.) Bottle exporter. (Tried to recycle truckloads of bo NewYork’s.) Customer service tester. (Capitalized on a local bank’s p — though he ultimately only received $20.)Author. (Wrote the book A collision.) Office worker. (“T.C.B.” as in “taking care of business,” for a variety of purposes from Christmas cards to intimate shots.)Party p housing and entertainment for Japanese businessmen visiting Manha Cock fighter. Ghost writer. (Sells J. Peterman his life stories to use in P cigars; unfortunately they turn out to be Dominican.) Specialty sights using a school bus.) Lifeguard. Industrial inventor. (Creates a rubber oil spills.”) Condiment inventor. (Brainstorms bottle that integrates ke Show set in his apartment and rebooted it.) Baker at H&H Bagels. (Brie (Sells option toThe CoffeeTable Book of CoffeeTables to a "big Hollywo range of diseased patients at a NewYork teaching hospital.) Ri

e odd jobs to outlandish schemes. Chief executive

preneur. (Conceptualized a chain of make-your-own-pizza parlors and led “P B and Js.”) Inventor. (Conceived the idea for tie dispensers in ne in a Woody Allen movie. Sitcom actor. (Guest-starred on hit series comes in basketball, horse races, and flight arrival times.) Perfumer.

painting that sold for $5,000 to a couple who described him as “an d a movie treatment titledThe Keys.) Scalper. (Flipped an opera ticket ad campaign.) Record Salesman. (Appropriated old vinyl LPs to sell ed funding to a local nonfat frozen-yogurt shop.) Soap-opera standold “The Executive,” a beltless trenchcoat invented by Jerry’s father e Book of CoffeeTables featured on Live With Regis and Kathie Lee.) ontestant on her interview, appearance, and talent.)Vintage-clothing ment-store Santa Claus. Police lineup stand-in. Intimate apparel rment specifically designed for men.”) Plaintiff. (Sued coffee company appropriator. (Sold George Steinbrenner’s birthday card signed by ator. (Provides callers with movie time and theater information when on the reopening of a revival movie house called the Alex.) Hansom ischke for causing his car accident when she walked down the street ottles in Michigan, where the refund rate per container is twice that of policy promising $100 to anyone not greeted by a teller with a “hello” AstonishingTales of the Sea, which chronicles the Andrea Doria ship r the Brandt-Leland company.)Photographer. (Snapped pictures for planner. (Organized a Jewish singles dance.) Tour guide. (Provided attan.) Plaintiff. (Sued a tobacco company for ruining his good looks.) Peterman’s autobiography.) Cigar manufacturer. (Hires Cubans to roll seeing tour creator. (Conducts his three-hour “Peterman RealityTour" r bladder system for oil tankers in an effort to “put an end to maritime etchup and mustard.) “Television” host. (Erected the old Merv Griffin efly ends his strike.) Army soldier. (“Classified.”) Hollywood sellout. ood so-and-so" and retires to Florida.) Pretend patient. (Imitated wide ickshaw entrepreneur. (Managed staff of homeless drivers.)

the family. Frank and Estelle

THE PEOPLE

Costanza

Estelle Costanza is the stereotypical overbearing, obnoxious sitcom mother. Estelle spends virtually all her time screeching at Frank and George. She and Frank have a lovehate relationship: they seemingly can't stand each other, and yet stay together out of habit (or because no one else can stand them). They were briefly separated, however. George moves back in with his mother and father when he falls on hard times. When he is offered a job as a hand model he thinks that he will soon be out, but after Leslie pushes him into an iron, he loses his gig. George lives with Frank and Estelle until well into his adult life. He is often humiliated by her very existence, and largely blames her for his being a neurotic failure. He is still emotionally tied to her, however. During his parents' separation, he frets constantly over the collapse of his family â&#x20AC;&#x201D; not because he loves or even likes them, but because he can't stand the thought of his parents being "out there" in the dating world with him. He also finds the idea of making two visits on holidays to be entirely distasteful. Though currently retired, we learn in "The Understudy" that Frank once worked as a salesman selling Christian artifacts and that he is fluent in Korean. He also claims to have spoken to Unification Church leader Sun Myung Moon. Frank is an exceptionally good chef (he spent time as an Army cook with the "Fighting 103rd" during the Korean War), as long as he can overcome his fears of accidentally poisoning people with his cooking (which showed the rebuttal in "The Fatigues", in which he destroyed his food after seeing Elaine Benes' co-worker at the J. Peterman Catalog, Eddie Sherman, choking). Frank's several flaws include a paralyzing fear of mice, rats and other forms of household infestation. Even the mention of mice in his household horrifies Frank, as seen in "The Raincoats, Part 2." He also has a 'phobia' which disables him from spending his silver dollars, which he has collected since 18 years of age. Frank seems to have a predilection for squirrels. In "The Conversion" where George is considering converting to the Latvian Orthodox Church, Frank asks if this is the group that goes around mutilating squirrels and asks specifically that George stays away from squirrels.

The parents of George Costanza and Jerry Seinfeld are most memorable for their recurring regular roles on Seinfeld. The constant bickering nature of these overwhelming parents is essential to the sitcom group dynamic.

Morty andHelen

Seinfeld Jerry's parents are Morty and Helen Seinfeld, a retired Jewish couple living in Florida. Unlike George, who can't stand his parents, Jerry does love his, but he still prefers them living in Florida rather than New York, so that they don't interfere with his private life. Although born and raised Jewish, Jerry apparently doesn't practice and generally doesn't "observe" many traditions, like the real Seinfeld. Morty made a living selling raincoats under a man named Harry Fleming for 38 years, and considers his invention of 'the beltless trenchcoat' (also called 'the executive') his greatest accomplishment. Morty refuses to let Jerry pay for a meal anytime they go out to eat, even if he has no money to pay the bill. He always sticks up for Jerry when he feels like his son is being slighted, even when Jerry himself isn't bothered at all. (The most notable instance of this was in "The Pen".) He hates velcro because he can't stand the tearing sound it makes when separated. He and Helen are retired and have lived in a series of condos in Florida, the longest-lasting of which has been Del Boca Vista. He was the president of the tenant's board of The Pines of Mar Gables for many years, until Jerry bought him a Cadillac (in "The Cadillac"), arousing suspicion among his neighbors that he was stealing from the board coffers. He was impeached and resigned when the tie-breaking voter Mabel Choate turned against him upon remembering that Jerry had stolen a loaf of Marble Rye bread from her (as seen in "The Rye"). His impeachment scene included a parody of Richard Nixon's famous wave. She thinks Jerry is perfect. Helen's catchphrase in the series is her rhetorical question about Jerry, "How could anyone not like him?"According to Jerry, Helen has never once set foot in a natural body of water. She is a retiree who lives in Florida. Anytime Jerry's father is on the phone Helen is always talking with him on the same line.

Both parents maintain cool distant relations with eachothers. Them Costanzas think that Jerry's parents are snobs. The Seinfelds in turn avoid the Costanzas, not out of superiority, but because they (like most of the people who know the Costanzas) can't stand them.

THE PEOPLE

For "a show about nothing," Seinfel weaving in and out of its fictional U one of the sitcom's main foursome agitated relatives, annoyed ex-boyf shopkeepers, bad dates, celebrity d (There were even nice "opposite" Kramer — the "Bizarro Jerry" crew favorite Seinfeld episodes or quote revolve around the nut cases, nasty villains who entered in the main ch one with the "close talker"? Or the on "Jimmy legs"? "So my ex-boyfriend c yada, I'm really tired today." "Elaine Seinfeld was one of the best com delivering memorable side character like a certain sneering mailman down wonders, like New York’s most ill-tem And they’re a big part of Seinfeld‘s le 38

ld certainly had a lot of somebodies Upper West Side universe. For every e, there were practically dozens of friends and girlfriends, beleaguered drop-bys and put-upon coworkers. versions of Seinfeld, George and w.) In fact, when we talk about our e our favorite lines, many of them New Yorkers and "no soup for you!" haracters' orbit: Hey, remember the ne where Kramer's girlfriend has the came over last night, and yada yada e, you gotta have a bayyy-beeeee!" medies in history when it came to rs. Whether they were recurring foils, n the hall, or memorable one-episode the others. mpered cook, they made their mark. egacy. But which ones were the best? 39

40 25

Hello Jerry.

Hello Newman.

41 26

THE MOMENTS THE MOMENTS

Nine seasons, 180 episodes and 10 Emmy awards. Seinfeld will undoubtedly go down as one of the greatest television sitcoms of all time.

“there’s more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.”

in the parking garage

“ We’re

like rats in some experiment.”

THE MOMENTS

WITH A PRIME-TIME SLOT SEINFELD STARTED GAINING VIEWERSHIP.

T“Oh, this is great. This is what I need, just what I need. Okay, take it easy, I’m sure it’s nothing. Probably rats on the track, they’re stopping for rats. God it’s so crowded, how could there be so many people? This guy really smells. Doesn’t anyone use deodorant in the city? What is so hard, you take the cap off, you roll it on. What’s that? I feel something rubbing against me. Disgusting animals, these people should be in a cage. We are in a cage. … I can’t breathe, I feel faint." he show premiered as The Seinfeld Chronicles on July 5, 1989. After it aired, a pickup by NBC did not seem likely and the show was offered to Fox, which declined to pick it up. Rick Ludwin, head of late night and special events for NBC, however, diverted money from his budget by canceling a Bob Hope television special, and the next four episodes were filmed. These episodes were highly rated as they followed Cheers on Thursdays at 9:30 p.m., and the series was finally picked up. At one point NBC considered airing these episodes on Saturdays at 10:30 p.m., but gave that slot to a short-lived sitcom called FM. The series was renamed Seinfeld after the failure of short-lived 1990 ABC series The Marshall Chronicles. After airing in the Watching the first season summer of 1990, NBC ordered 13 more episodes. Larry David believed that now makes Seinfeld’s he and Jerry Seinfeld had no more stories to tell, and advised his partner to success seem even more remarkable. These five turn down the order, but Seinfeld agreed to the additional episodes. Season episodes (the smallest sitcom two was bumped off its scheduled premiere of January 16, 1991, due to order in TV history at the time) follow the “show about the outbreak of the Persian Gulf war. It settled into a regular time slot on nothing” mantra a bit too literally. Wednesdays at 9:30 p.m. and eventually flipped with veteran series Night Court to 9:00.

Seinfeld was championed by television critics in its early seasons, even as it was slow to cultivate a substantial audience. For the first three seasons, Jerry's standup comedy act would bookend an episode, even functioning as cut scenes during the show. A few episodes set a benchmark for later seasons. "The Deal" establishes Jerry and Elaine's relationship by season one 1: "the seinfeld chronicles" setting rules about sleeping together and remaining friends. 2: "the stake out" "The Parking Garage" was the first episode shot without 3: "the robbery" 4: "Male unbonding" an audience for the episode, as well as not showing 5: "the stock tip" Jerry's apartment, after "The Chinese Restaurant. "The season two Keys" contains a crossover to CBS show Murphy Brown, 6: "the ex girlfriend" 7: "the pony remark" marking the first such cooperation between rival networks. 8: "the jacket" 9: "the phone message" "The Busboy" introduces George, Kramer and Elaine as 10: "the apartment" having their own storylines for the first time. Although 11: "the statue" 12: "the revenge" Castle Rock Entertainment's Glenn Padnick thought Jerry 13: "the heart attack" 14: "the deal" Seinfeld was too generous, showcasing his co-stars' 15: "the baby shower" 16: "the chinese restaurant" comedic talent became a trademark throughout the series. 17: "the bus boy" Larry Charles wrote an episode for season two, "The Bet", season three in which Elaine buys a gun from Kramer's friend. This 18: "the note" episode was not filmed because the content was deemed 19: "the truth" 20: "the pen" unacceptable, and was replaced by the episode "The Phone 21: "the dog" 22: "the library" Message". "The Stranded", aired in season three, was intended 23: "the parking garage" for season two. In the beginning of this episode, Jerry 24: "the cafe" 25: "the tape" clears up the continuity error over George's real estate job. 26: "the nose job" In the Seinfeld Chronicles this series features the title 27: "the stranded" 28: "the alternate side" character's humorous insights on life and his experiences 29: "the red dot" 30: "the subway" as a bachelor. Initially, a girl Jerry met on the road wants 31: "the pez dispenser" to stay with him when she comes to New York. George 32: "the suicide" 33: "the fixup" thinks that she is just using Jerry as contingency plan. 34: "the boyfriend" 35: "the new friend" Hoffman (Kramer??) comes by to borrow a couple of 36: "the limo" pieces of meat. The girl calls and asks Jerry if she can 37: "the good samaritin" 38: "the letter" stay at his apartment for the night, when she arrives she 39: "the parking space" 40: "the keys" asks to stay for another night. Jerry is disappointed when everything is going his way until he finds out she is engaged.

Season 2: Episode 2,

“The Pony Remark” At a 50th

anniversary dinner, Jerry and Elaine make a crack about spoiled children who owned ponies. “I hate anyone who had a pony growing up,” Seinfeld claims. Much to his surprise, an elderly relative of his responds, “I had a pony! When I was a little girl in Poland, we all had ponies!” Written by Seinfeld and Larry Charles, it’s the first episode that takes a bit to the extreme. When his relative passes away the next day, Jerry is tasked with a making a tough decision: does he attend this woman’s funeral (a woman he may or may not have killed with his pony remark), or does he play in his championship softball game? It’s an episode that beautifully blends the existential and the comical. Season 3: Episode 5,

“The Library”

Over the years, Seinfeld always managed to showcase gifted performers in ancillary roles. With “The Library,” legendary character actor Philip Baker Hall delivers what may be the show’s best monologue as stern library detective Lt. Bookman. Jerry took a book out in 1971, and Bookman believes he never returned it. The money line: “Well I got a flash for you joy boy: party time is over!” This also one of the few episodes that utilizes flashbacks, diving into George and Jerry’s high school experience. Season 3: Episode 12,

“The Red Dot”

Elaine procures a job for George in her office. In turn, George goes out to buy her a gift. When he sees an immaculate cashmere sweater for a low price, he gets it. The one hitch: There’s a microscopic red dot on the sweater. This a fine example of Costanza’s cheapness, which comes to be one of his defining characteristics throughout the show. Another great bit here: Once George lands the job in the office, he ends up having sex with the maid on his office desk. It then results in one of show’s better lines, from George to his employer: “Was that wrong?”

THE STAKEOUT (Episode 2): While attending a birthday party with Elaine, his former girlfriend, Jerry is introduced to Vanessa. Despite his best efforts to obtain her last Name and phone number, Jerry is only able to find out the Name of the law firm where she works. With no other option, Jerry and his friend George wait in the lobby of the law firm, hoping to "casually" run into Vanessa during her lunch break. THE STOCK TIP (Episode 5): George persuades a reluctant Jerry to invest on a stock tip. When the stock plummets, Jerry pulls out in order to minimize his losses. George stands by his investment. Meanwhile, Jerry's weekend away with his girlfriend (Vanessa) is ruined by foul weather. Kramer has an idea for a roll-out tie dispenser. THE EX-GIRLFRIEND (Epidode 6): George neurotically ponders how to break up with his girlfriend, Marlene, and Jerry offers advice. When Jerry meets Marlene, he finds that he is attracted to her. Elaine is curious about a relationship that she has with a guy in her building that has degenerated over the past two years. Jerry is reluctantly drawn into George's ex-relationship when he picks up some books left at her apartment. Although he wants to break it off with her, she has this "psycho-sexual" hold over him and he becomes worried about what George might think is he lets this relationship develop. Elaine confronts the guy in her building and Jerry's relationship maybe in jeopardy when his girlfriend sees his act. THE BUSBOY (Episode 17): George accidentally gets a busboy fired from his job and tries to atone for it. Elaine invites a boyfriend from Seattle to stay with her for a week and discovers that a week is much to long to have a houseguest and that she liked him better before. The busboy's life is saved and made for the better after his involvement with George, until he meets Elaine's house guest. THE NOTE (Episode 18): Jerry's massage therapy is covered by his insurance company because his dentist (Roy) wrote a note prescribing the rub downs as a medical necessity. George and Elaine decide to make similar arrangements, but George is dismayed when he is assigned a male practitioner. Then, George's paranoia about men comes into play when he gets a massage from a man and later says "I think it moved." Kramer thinks he has seen DiMaggio in Dinky Donuts. The notes may cause Roy to lose his license in an insurance fraud investigation. THE KEYS (Episode 40): Jerry takes away his spare set of keys from Kramer after he abuses his entrance privileges. This causes a series of key exchanges among Kramer, Elaine, and George. Realizing that he has broken the "covenant of the keys" gives Kramer the realization he is now free to come out of the shadows. Jerry gave his spare keys to Elaine, then when he needs them, he goes with George (who has her keys) to Elaine's to search for his spare set. What they find is Elaine's show-biz project. Kramer takes off for California to follow his acting dream and lands a job on "Murphy Brown."

seasons 1- 3

INTRODUCES A META STORY ARC ABOUT JERRY AND GEORGE MAKING A TV PILOT FOR NBC

THE MOMENTS

eason four marked the sitcom's entry into the Nielsen ratings Top 30, coinciding with several popular episodes, such as "The Bubble Boy", in which George and the bubble boy are arguing over Trivial Pursuit, and "The Junior Mint" in which Kramer and Jerry accidentally fumble a mint in the operating room. This was the first season to use a story arc in which Jerry and George create their own sitcom, Jerry. Also at this time, the use of Jerry's stand-up act slowly declined, and the stand-up segment in the middle of Seinfeld episodes was cut.

Much publicity followed the controversial episode, "The Contest", an Emmy The nonstop succession Award-winning episode written by co-creator Larry David, whose subject of iconic stand-alone matter was considered inappropriate for prime time network television. episodes—”The Bubble Boy,” “The Outing,” “The To circumvent this taboo, the word "masturbation" was never used in the Junior Mint”—is what makes script, instead substituted by a variety of oblique references. Midway this the best season. Seinfeld continued its winning streak through that season, Seinfeld was moved from its original 9:00 p.m. time with classics like “The Puffy “The Stall,” slot on Wednesdays to 9:30 p.m. on Thursdays, following Cheers again, Shirt,” and “The Opposite.” which gave the show even more popularity. The move was also sparked by ratings, as Tim Allen's sitcom Home Improvement on ABC had aired at the same time and Improvement kept beating Seinfeld in the ratings. NBC moved the series after Ted Danson announced the end of Cheers and Seinfeld quickly surpassed the ratings of the 9:00 p.m. Cheers reruns that spring. The show won an Emmy Award for Outstanding Comedy Series in 1993, beating out its familyoriented and time-slot competitor Home Improvement, which was only in its second season on fellow network ABC. season four 41: "the trip" (part one) Season five was an even bigger ratings-hit, consisting of 42: "the trip" (part two) popular episodes such as "The Puffy Shirt" in which Jerry 43: "the pitch" 44: "the ticket" feels embarrassed wearing the "pirate" shirt on The Today 45: "the wallet" 46: "the watch" Show, "The Non-Fat Yogurt" featuring Rudy Giuliani, the 47: "the bubbleboy" Republican mayor-elect of New York at the time, and 48: "the cheever letters" 49: "the opera" "The Opposite" in which George does the opposite of his 50: "the virgin" 51: "the contest" instincts that lands him in the "New York Yankees" and 52: "the airport" Elaine leaves "Pendant Publishing" because of a comedy 53: "the pick" 54: "the movie" of errors that led to its demise. Another story arc has 55: "the visa" 56: "the shoes" George returning to live with his parents. In the midst of 57: "the outing" the story arc, Kramer creates and promotes his coffee table 58: "the old man" 59: "the implant" book. The show was again nominated for Outstanding 60: "the junior mint" 61: "the smelly car" Comedy Series, but lost to the Cheers spin-off Frasier, 62: "the handicap spot" then in its first season. Seinfeld was nominated for the 63-64: "the pilot" same award every year for the entire run but always lost to season five 65: "the mango" Frasier, which went on to win a record 39 Emmy Awards. 66: "the puffy shirt" 67: "the glasses" 68: "the sniffing accountant" 69: "the bris" 70: "the lipreader" 71: "the non fat yogurt" 72: "the barber" 73: "the masseuse" 74: "the cigar store Indian" 75: "the conversation" 76: "the stall" 77: "the dinner party" 78: "the marine biologist" 79: "the pie" 80: "the stand in" 81: "the wife" 82-83: "the raincoats" 84: "the fire" 85: "the hamptons" 86: "the opposite"

Season 4: Episode 7,

“The Bubble Boy” There are a handful

episodes in the series that even the uninitiated will recognize. Along with the “Soup Nazi” and “The Contest,” “The Bubble Boy” is an iconic piece of television—a piece of absurdist humor that writers Larry David and Larry Charles somehow managed to pull off. On a road trip up Susan’s (Heidi Swedberg) family cabin, Jerry and Elaine devise a plan to make a quick stop at the home of a bubble boy (the kid is a big fan of Seinfeld’s). When George speeds ahead of them (“we’re making great time!”), Jerry and Elaine get lost and end up at a diner. George, however, arrives at the kid’s home, only to entangle himself in a fight with the bubble boy over a misprinted Trivial Pursuit question. Murphy’s law seems to be in effect here: Everything that can go wrong, absolutely does. Kramer burns down the cabin, George nearly kills the bubble boy, and Jerry can’t take back a signed poster he gifted the diner. Season 5: Episode 21,

“The Opposite”

In the first episode of Seinfeld, George proclaims that he would find success if he just did the opposite of his instincts. Jump ahead four seasons and Constanza is playing that fantasy out. Sure enough, life turns around for him. Once the pendulum swings in George’s direction, Elaine is thrust into a downward spiral. Jerry, naturally, remains unchanged in the middle. The shift in dynamic between these friends makes you realize just how well-defined their roles are. It’s jarring to see George be happy, as it is surprising to see Elaine lose a man to Jujyfruits. This episode also marks the debut of George Steinbrenner (voiced by David) as George’s boss at the Yankees.

“Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable, I was bright…oh, maybe not academically speaking, but I was perceptive. I always know when someone’s uncomfortable at a party. It all became very clear to me sitting out there today that every decision I’ve ever made in my entire life has been wrong. My life is the complete opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every aspect of life, be it something to wear, something to eat – it’s all been wrong.”

THE TRIP, I (Episode 41): Jerry is scheduled to appear on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" and agrees to take George with him to Los Angeles. They hope to find Kramer, who disappeared several months ago and was last seen acting in the sitcom "Murphy Brown". While trying to audition, Kramer must deal with the advances of an older female landlord and get Hollywood to read his treatment. Jerry loses some jokes and George tries to get Lupe, the housemaid, to make his bed just right. George annoys all the stars they encounter. He and Jerry are unaware that Kramer is in danger because he has been mistaken for the "Smog Strangler", a serial-killer. THE PILOT (Episode 63,64): Jerry and George are given permission by the network to begin production on their television pilot titled Jerry. Jerry gets to portray himself, but George is unhappy with the actor who plays him. Kramer shows up to audition for the part of himself but must leave when nature calls. George accuses the actor portraying Kramer of stealing a box of raisins. George thinks he has cancer because of a white blemish that appears under his lip. Elaine objects to the new coffee-shop owner only hiring buxom waitresses. At the taping of the pilot, Elaine sneaks in disguised and "Crazy" Joe jumps out of the audience. Kramer is forced to work on his plumbing by using the "dreaded apparatus." Everyone from the past season comments on the pilot as it's broadcast. Russell Dalrimple is lost at sea after taking Elaine's advice to join Greenpeace. NOTE: Originally broadcast as part of a 60 min episode. The major characters from the past season who comment on the pilot were not credited for this episode. THE MANGO (Episode 65): Elaine admits that she faked orgasms when she was involved with Jerry, and Jerry begs her for another opportunity to satisfy her. George is afraid that the woman he is dating also fakes orgasm. Kramer tries returning a poor-quality peach to the fruit stand and is banished him from the store. THE HAMPTONS (Episode 85): To change his lifelong bad luck, George determines to do everything the opposite. As a result, he winds up dating a fabulous woman and secures a job with the New York Yankees. Elaine's luck takes a turn for the worse as she gets a promotion, but her Jujy fruit habit causes a chain reaction leading to the demise of her company. Jerry loses a job only to line up another one five minutes later. Kramer appears on "Regis & Kathie Lee" promoting his coffee-table book. Rachel wants to break up with Jerry and he readily agrees, because his luck has been "even Steven." the best episode of season four “The Contest.” Credit goes to the writers for managing to talk about masturbation—indirectly but unmistakably— on network TV. The best episode of season 5 “The Marine Biologist.” George’s monologue at the end of this episode about pulling a golf ball from a whale’s blowhole—and Kramer’s reaction—is hilarious every time.

seasons 4-5

yadda yadda, 50

yadda ...

THE MOMENTS

FINALLY BECAME THE NO. 1 SHOW ON TV THIS SEASON

ith season six, Andy Ackerman replaced Tom Cherones as director of the show. The series remained well-regarded and produced some of its most famous episodes, such as "The Beard" in which Jerry is put through a lie detector test, to make him admit that he did watch Melrose Place, "The Switch", in which Kramer's mother, Babs, revealed that his first name is Cosmo and "The Understudy" when Elaine meets J. Peterman for the first time. Story arcs used in this season were Elaine working as a personal assistant to her eccentric boss Justin Pitt, as well as George's parents' temporary separation. This was the first season in which Seinfeld reached Number 1 in the Nielsen Ratings. The season’s arc follows The use of Jerry's stand-up act declined with George’s planned nuptials season six 87: "the caperone" the end stand-up segment no longer used as the to Susan (Heidi Swedberg). The show took a giant risk 88: "the big salad" storylines for all four characters grew more dense. by killing Susan off by way 89: "the pledge drive" 90: "the chinese woman" In season seven, a story arc involved George getting of toxic envelopes—and 91: "the couch" revealing the leads’ callous 92: "the gymnist" engaged to his former girlfriend, Susan Ross, after reactions. It’s Seinfeld at its 93: "the soup" darkest, but it worked. 94: "the mom and pop store" the unsuccessful pilot Jerry. He spends most of 95: "the secratary" the season regretting the engagement and trying to get 96: "the race" 97: "the switch" out of it. Along with the regular half hour episodes, two 98: "the label maker" notable one-hour episodes include "The Cadillac" in which 99: "the scofflaw" 100-101: "the highlights of 100" George plans to date an award winning actress Marisa 102: "the beard" 103: "the kiss hello" Tomei and "The Bottle Deposit" with Elaine and Sue Ellen 104: "the door man" participating in a bidding war to buy JFK's golf clubs in 105: "the jimmy" 106: "the doodle" an auction. Season 6: Episode 7, “The Soup” Much to 107: "the fusilli jerry" Jerry’s chagrin, Kenny Bania (Steve Hytner) surfaces 108: "the dipomats club" 109: "the face painter" throughout the series. The character is an obnoxious, 110: "the understudy" horrific standup who makes jokes about Ovaltine unseason seven ironically. In this episode there’s simply too much of Bania. 111: "the engagement" 112: "the postponment" In exchange for an Armani suit, Bania asks that Jerry take 113: "the maestro" 114: "the wink" him out for a nice dinner. Bania’s request becomes more 115: "the hot tub" taxing when, at the dinner table, he only orders a bowl 116: "the soup nazi" 117: "the secret code" of soup, claiming “soup’s not dinner!” George’s plot is 118: "the pool guy" 119: "the sponge" slim, and unfunny. Same goes for Elaine and Kramer’s 120: "the gum" storylines. There’s not a whole bunch to laugh at here. 121: "the rye" 122: "the caddy" 123: "the seven" 124-125: "the cadillac" 126: "the shower head" 127: "the doll" 128: "the friars club" 129: "the wig master" 130: "the calzone" 131-132: "the bottle deposit" 133: "the wait out" 134: "the invitations"

Season 6: Episode 10,

“The Race” This is

Seinfeld’s ultimate love letter to Superman. After going on a few dates with a woman named Lois (Renee Props), Jerry discovers that her boss is his arch-nemesis from high school. His kryptonite. Still disgruntled about the time Jerry “unfairly” beat him in a footrace, Duncan (Don McManus) stages a rematch for everyone (especially Lois) to watch. Dazzling subplots include Elaine and her influential communist boyfriend; Kramer working as a Santa Claus at shopping mall; and the Yankees suspecting George of having communist ties. The strongest episodes of the show have four quality plotlines that run concurrently until they collide into one another. “The Race” is the perfect collision. Season 7: Episode 5,

“The Hot Tub”

Like so many other episodes, “The Hot Tub” is a classic example of what happens when normal, functional people enter the lives of these four knuckleheads. Jean Paul (Jeremiah Birkett) is a marathon runner who accidentally overslept and missed the Olympics four years ago. Now he’s in New York, and is taking extra precaution staying with Elaine. Jerry sees the situation—the mediocrity of Elaine’s alarm clock, her inability to take food out of the microwave on time— and intervenes. There are countless genius bits here, from Kramer’s scalding hot tub placed in his living room to George describing how he always “appears” busy. Of course, the fate of Jean Paul is tragic. How could it not be?

“breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push; you gotta rock it back and forth a few times and then it goes over.”

THE CHAPERONE (Episode 87): Jerry dates Miss Rhode Island; Kramer tries to help her in the pageant; but Jerry ends up killing all her pigeons. Elaine gets new job with Mr Pitt and George gets the idea of cotton uniforms for the Yankees.THE UNDERSTUDY (Episode 110): Jerry has trouble deciding when he should comfort his girlfriend who also happens to be Bette Midler's understudy in the musical version of Rochel Rochel. During a softball game George injures Bette Midler at home plate & Jerry & George are accused of taking-out Bette on purpose just to get Jerry's girlfriend a starring role in the musical. Elaine gets a job for a clothing catalog. Kramer nurses Bette back to health. Elaine takes Frank Costanza along with her to the manicurist to translate for her and Frank meets and old girlfriend . She dumps Frank after he "stops short" on her. THE ENGAGEMENT (Episode 111): Jerry and George reevaluate their relationships with women, so they make "a pact" to change their ways, though Jerry doesn't know it. Elaine has a problem sleeping in her new apartment because of a nearby constantly barking dog; Kramer recommends a solution. George gets back with Susan, his former girlfriend from NBC; he asks her to marry him, and after a couple hours of convincing she says yes. Kramer, his solution (Newman) and Elaine commit a dog napping and take the dog far out of the city. Jerry breaks up with his girlfriend again; however, George is now trapped in his relationship with Susan, almost to the point where he is married already. Elaine almost gets a good night of sleep. THE INVITATIONS (Episode 134): As the big day grows nearer, George and Susan order their invitations. Susan lets him choose the cheap ones. George tries to think of a way out. Elaine suggests smoking and Kramer suggests a pre-nuptial agreement. Jerry (thinking of a single future with Kramer) nearly gets hit by a car but is saved by his female equivalent, Jeannie. Jerry's in love with Jeannie. Kramer tries to cash in on a bank's offer of a $100 if one of their teller's doesn't say hello. Is "Hey," hello? George tries the suggestions and strikes out. Susan begins preparing the invitations. Jerry makes a decision. Susan passes out while licking envelopes. Jerry proposes marriage; later he has second thoughts. George finds Susan and the gang meets him over at the hospital, where George gets the news, he's "out".

seasons 6-7

THE MOMENTS

SEINFELD WAS THE BIGGEST ENTERTAINMENT STORY OF 1998

he show's ratings were still going strong in its final two seasons (8 and 9). Larry David left at the end of season seven (although he continued to voice Steinbrenner), so Seinfeld assumed David's duties as showrunner, and, under the direction of a new writing staff, Seinfeld became a faster-paced show. The show no longer contained extracts of Jerry performing stand-up comedy (Jerry had no time or energy for this with his new roles), and storylines occasionally delved into fantasy and broad humor. For example, in the episode titled "The Bizarro Jerry", Elaine is torn between exact opposites of her friends and Jerry dates a woman who has the now-famed "man hands". Some notable When Larry David departed episodes from season eight include "The Little Kicks" showing Elaine's after season 7, the show horrible dancing, and "The Chicken Roaster" which depicts the Kenny dropped Jerry’s stand-up comedy openers and took a Rogers Roasters chicken restaurant which opened during that time. A story turn for the surreal. arc in this season involves Peterman going to Burma in "The Foundation" until he recovered from a nervous breakdown in "The Money", followed by Elaine writing Peterman's biography in "The Van Buren Boys" which leads to Kramer's parody of Kenny Kramer's Reality Tour seen in "The Muffin Tops".

The final season included episodes such as "The Merv Griffin Show" in which Kramer converts his apartment into a talk-show studio and plays the character of talk-show host, "The Betrayal" that follows in reverse chronology order of what happened to Sue Ellen's wedding in India, and "The Frogger", in which George pushes a Frogger machine season eight 135: "the foundation" across the street. The last season included a story arc in 136: "the soul mate" which Elaine has an on/off relationship with David Puddy. 137: "the bizzaro jerry" 138: "the little kicks" Despite the enormous popularity and willingness from the 139: "the package" 140: "the fatigues" cast to return for a tenth season, Seinfeld decided to end 141: "the checks" the show after season nine in an effort to maintain quality 142: "the chicken roaster" 143: "the abstinence" and "go out on top". NBC offered him $110 million but he 144: "the andrea doria" 145: "the little jerry" declined the offer. A major controversy caused in this final 146: "the money" season was the accidental burning of a Puerto Rican flag 147: "the comeback" 148: "the van buren boys" by Kramer in "The Puerto Rican Day". This scene caused a 149: "the susie" 150: "the pothole" furor among Puerto Ricans, and as a result, NBC showed 151: "the english patient" this episode only once. However, Jerry Seinfeld defused 152: "the nap" 153: "the yadda yadda" the protestors by not allowing this episode to continue 154: "the millenium" 155: "the muffin tops" in syndication, as revealed in "Inside Look" on DVD. 156: "the summer of george"

season nine

157: "the butter shave" 158: "the voice" 159: "the serenity now" 160: "the blood" 161: "the junk mail" 162: "the merv griffin show" 163: "the slicer" 164: "the betrayal" 165: "the apology" 166: "the strike" 167: "the dealership" 168: "the reverse peephole" 169: "the cartoon" 170: "the strong box" 171: "the wizard" 172: "the burning" 173: "the bookstore" 174: "the frogger" 175: "the maid" 176: "the puerto rican day" 177-178: "the chronicle" 179-180: "the finale"

“Ahh,what’s the point? When I like them, they don’t like me, when they like me I don’t like them. Why can’t I act with the ones I like the way I do with the ones I don’t like?”

“The Finale.” A whopping 76.3 million fans tuned in, and most were disappointed. The closer trotted out tons of obligatory cameos, including ones from Teri Hatcher and Geraldo Rivera, and ended with the foursome behind bars. It was a bold move and in line with the series’ cynical tone, but it just wasn’t funny. Best to get your last laugh with “The Frogger” a few episodes before.

Season 8: Episode 9,

“The Abstinence”

George and Elaine abstain from intercourse, and like in “The Opposite” their lives run in two wildly different directions. Without an orgasm, Elaine’s intellect rapidly degenerates. She becomes useless and unmotivated. Conversely, George—unencumbered by carnal cravings—is suddenly brilliant. He consumes books, speaks different languages, and focuses his complete attention on his studies. For 22 minutes, Costanza is an intellect to be reckoned with. Season 9: Episode 2,

“The Voice”

Every second of every day we are forced to make decisions. Depending on the quality of person you are, some are painless and some are painstaking. So when Jerry must choose between a joke or a woman, it seems obvious that he should choose the human being. But, that’s not the nature of Seinfeld. Comedy always comes before reality, even if the former spawns misery. The golden subplot here comes in the form of Kramerica, an illusory company Kramer creates. Somehow, Kramer dupes a university into giving him an intern, who believes he will gain experience “in the real world”—something the K-man knows a whole bunch about. This a fine example of where Seinfeld goes in its final two seasons. The antics are amplified to an incalculable degree, and its flippant disregard for humanity either works for you or it doesn’t.

THE FOUNDATION (Episode 135): After Susan's death, George is ready to move on, but her parents want to keep her memory alive by setting up a foundation in her memory. Kramer becomes a karate master, where his opponents are equals in his skill level, but much younger. Jerry runs into Dolores ("her name rhymed with a female body part" -see episode #60), she suggests that they get together again. Peterman breaksdown and goes to Burma leaving Elaine in charge. Jerry and Dolores get together; however, when she hears why Jerry's engagement was broken off, she leaves commenting that he still hasn't matured. Elaine sees Kramer's opponents, vents her frustration and takes him down in front of the class. Jerry decides to research breakups and the effect on future relationships. George's widower story scores the highest! Kramer's classmates beat him up after class. The Foundation is taking up all of George's time, and while there he discovers everything he lost when he lost Susan. THE SUMMER OF GEORGE (Episode 156): George's severance package from the Yankees should last him about 3 months so he decides that he is going to take the summer off. Kramer goes to the Tony Awards as a seat filler. When Elaine criticizes a co-worker who walks with no arm movements, Elaine is accused of being "catty." Jerry's date has a man living with her. By mistake, Kramer gets a Tony Award for a musical starring Raquel Welch. Kramer is confronted by the producers of "Scarsdale Surprise" who have a proposition for him. Jerry's date decides to commit to him. Elaine's complaints to men about her co-worker only seem to pique their interest in the possibility of a cat fight. Jerry's girlfriend begins to wear him out; she is always on the go. George suggests that perhaps they team up to handle Lanette. To keep his Tony award, Kramer must fire the non-arm swinging Raquel Welch from the production. George is in charge of buying invitations for Lanette's party. Kramer does his duty but pays the price. A mad Raquel Welch gets into a cat fight with Elaine. George gets distracted & slips on an invitation. The gang is back at the hospital, where they were one year ago only this time George is the one in a hospital bed. THE BUTTER SHAVE (Episode 157): Not fully recovered from "The Summer of George", George is using a cane to get around. Jerry might have another shot at NBC, through an appearance on a NBC Showcase that might lead to another pilot. He's also annoyed that lame comic Kenny Bania's act is working, only because he is following Jerry's act, a time-slot hit. Bania scores with big laughs & also gets one of Jerry's ex-girlfriends. George gets a job interview. Elaine is on vacation for a month in Europe with David Puddy. Kramer finds butter is a better protection for his skin after shaving. George is hired for the job because of his use of the cane -they think he is handicapped & of course he takes full advantage of the situation.

seasons 8-9

sere 56

enity now 57

-isms. THE MOMENTS

Many notable expressions from Seinfeld became popular phrases in everyday speech. In honor of those 25 years, here are things that “Seinfeld” added to the popular vernacular over the course of its nine seasons on the air.

1st and 1st: the street that intersects with itself, known to Kramer as the nexus of the universe.

Anti-dentite: someone who discriminates against dentists, which Kramer accuses Jerry of being. ("The Yada Yada")

Babka: Babka a spongy cake that Elaine is obsessed with bringing to "The Dinner Party". Initially, she and Jerry want to buy chocolate babka, but the last one was purchased before they were able to get it; instead they decide on cinnamon babka.

"Baby": George often used the word baby in his phrases; a couple of examples would be "I'm back, baby! I'm back!" or "Oh, I'm gone, baby!" In "The Fire", Jerry says, "There's no precedent, baby!" George replies, "What, you're using my babies now?" Bad breaker-upper: someone who says the things you don't mean when you break up, but means them.

("The Andrea Doria")

Baldist: someone who discriminates against bald people, George often being the victim. Boys: slang for semen. In "The Fix Up," after learning that the woman he dated missed her period, George exclaims, "I did it, my boys can swim!" Also used by Kramer to refer to his genitals. Bottle Wipe: When someone taking a sip of your water wipes the bottle thoroughly before taking the drink, despite having previously given you an open-mouthed kiss. Not a good sign.

"Cantstandya!": a nickname given to George by his high school gym teacher. "Cartwright!": This is what the maître d' mistakenly calls out when George's girlfriend Tatiana called for him at the

chinese restaurant. Of course, he should have called out "Costanza" instead of "Cartwright". ("The Chinese Restaurant")

Close talker: a person who doesn't understand the concept of personal space during conversation. Aaron is a close talker. ("The Raincoats")

Coffee Table Book About Coffee Tables: this was Kramer's idea for a book, which Elaine's business Pendant

Publishing was going to publish until the company was dissolved. Kramer promoted his book when he went on Live! With Regis and Kathie Lee; he ruined his interview, though, when he spit up coffee that he was drinking. ("The Opposite")

Conjugal visit sex: the second best sex to have, fugitive sex being first and make-up sex being third. Costanza Leave Behind: Keys, gloves, scarf -- go back to her place to pick it up...date number two.

A-I D

Delicate Genius: George repeatedly uses this term in "The Kiss Hello"; in most cases he was using it when referring to Wendy, a physical therapist. Double-dipper: a person who inserts chip into dip, takes a bite, and unhygenically re-dips the chip, thereby essentially putting the whole mouth in the dip. George's double-dipping causes a fight at a funeral. Dry heave set to music: used to describe Elaine's horrendous dancing.

Even Steven: a person [specifically Jerry in "The Opposite"] who always comes out even no matter what. For example, Jerry breaks even in Poker, loses a gig and then gets another one, throws a twenty dollar bill out the window and later finds twenty dollars.

Festivus: a December holiday created by Frank Costanza to counteract the commercialism of those other December holidays. Fugitive sex: the one thing better than conjugal visit sex.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Get Out!â&#x20AC;?: Elaine's trademark line, usually accompanied by pushing someone backwards in the chest. Elaine did this to Kevin, The Bizarro Jerry; he took extreme exception to it and broke up with her as a result.

Getting upset: used in the third person as in "George is getting upset!", exclaimed by George Louis Costanza himself. Self-reflective speech was initially a defining attribute of Jimmy ("The Jimmy").

"Giddyup!": Kramer's trademark line, meaning "it's all good" or "let's go". "Go!": Another one of Kramer's trademarks. He would occasionally pick up the phone and use "Go!" instead of the standard, "Hello?" Gore-Tex: Gore-Tex is a type of fabric. George wore a Gore-Tex jacket in "The Dinner Party"; it is supposed to be a very

warm fabric. The jacket gave him a puffed up appearance (someone mockingly called him "puffball"). George had to sell his Gore-Tex jacket when he knocked over a few bottles of wine in a liquor store and was unable to pay for it. Jerry also wears a jacket made of Gore-Tex in "The Wife".

Hand sandwich: a type of layered handshake: one hand on top and the other on the bottom while shaking another person's hand.

"Happy, Pappy?": a term of endearment used by a girlfriend of George's when she wants to know if he's happy with something. "Pappy" is George himself, as he describes to Jerry. George was so annoyed with the expression that he broke up with his girlfriend.

"Hello!": the catchphrase of an imaginary, portly character who was inspired by the belly button of one of Jerry's girlfriends. This was eventually popular among Jerry, George, and Kramer.

"Hello, Newman": Jerry's greeting to a certain annoying postal worker. "Hello, Vargas": Kevin's greeting to a certain friendly FedEx worker, who's the same size as Newman. This was intended as a joke, as Kevin and Vargas share a laugh over it.

High talker: a person who speaks in an abnormally high pitch, usually to describe a male who sounds like a female. "Hipster doofus": given by Kramer's girlfriend, the word accurately described and defined the character of Kramer for many of the viewers. Often taken as "someone who is intellectual and spirited, knowing the real design of life and not caring at all." Believed to be the roughest prototype of today's metrosexual man.

"Hoochie Mama!": an exclamation used by Kramer, and ultimately Frank Costanza, in place of "Serenity Now!" (see below). Kramer also uses it to express surprise or awe throughout the series.

The Human Fund: Money For People: a fictional charity made up by George in order to save on spending for

actual Christmas presents. After having donated people's presents to the Human Fund, his boss, Mr. Kruger, decides that the company should make a significant contribution and thinks the Human Fund is a worthy cause. As a result, George becomes an overnight philanthropist.

"I am aware": Yelled by George when one of his faults has been brought to his attention several times. Such as when he

was pestering Elaine to have her friend fix him up with Marisa Tomei and she said, "But you're engaged." He replied, "I am aware."

"I was in the pool!": George's defense of being seen naked in "The Hamptons" episode. He says it twice, because he is THE MOMENTS

short-changed by temporary shrinkage of his genitals.

In the vault: an expression to indicate a secret, told in confidence, as in “Don’t worry. It’s in the vault.” "It's not you, it's me": George claims he invented this break-up line.

"John-John": Elaine refers to John F. Kennedy, Jr. as "John-John" when asked why she was out of "The Contest", to

which Jerry and George reply, "Oohh, John-John."

Kavorka: "The lure of the animal", a powerful sexual attraction that Kramer possesses ("The Conversion").

Kibosh: Crazy Joe Davola said he would put the kibosh on Jerry for ruining his deal with NBC, which throws Jerry and Kramer into a panic. Joe said, "I have kiboshed before, and I will kibosh again." ("The Opera") Laughing and Lying—Describing somebody who got away with something. Said by George when trying to verbally confront Jerry, Elaine and Susan in a Movie Theatre they're not even in. ("The Pool Guy"). Also said by Jackie Chiles in the Series Finale when describing the carjacker. ("The Finale")

Low talker: a person who speaks very softly. This can have very adverse effects, especially when Jerry was 'low-talked' into wearing a puffy shirt on The Today Show.

"Lupus?! Is it Lupus?!": George exclaims this phrase on a couple of occasions in the beginning of the series; he

usually said this when he was worried about his well-being, and thought that he might possibly be afflicted with Lupus. Of course he never was.

Make-up sex: the sex when making up after an argument, which is the best type other than conjugal visit sex

and fugitive sex.

Manssiere/Bro: names proposed by Frank Costanza and Kramer (respectively) for support garments for male breasts. Man hands: phrase to describe a woman's hands when they are 'less than feminine.' Master of my domain: used to describe one's fortitude in refraining from masturbation. "Maybe the dingo ate your baby!": What Elaine says to a woman at a party. Mimbo: a male bimbo, specifically used by Jerry to describe Tony, one of Elaine's many boyfriends. Moops: a typo for "Moors" on a Trival Pursuit card; George seized upon it to deny the Bubble Boy the win. Mulva: the name Jerry guessed for a woman he was dating whose name he couldn't remember, all he knew was that it rhymed with a part of a woman's anatomy. After she stormed off in a huff because he couldn't remember her name, he realized it was Dolores.

I-S N

"Newman!": spoken with hatred, usually by Jerry when he identifies that Newman is responsible for something, or all,

that's bad. Variations include "Kramer!", "George!", and "Bania!" when other characters are believed to have slighted Jerry.

"No soup for you!": an exclamation used in the event where someone changes his or her mind about giving something to someone else. The word "soup" may be replaced with the object at hand; the reference to the show can still be very obvious if the speaker uses the correct tone of voice.

"Not that there's anything wrong with that": politically correct standard disclaimer, used to indicate that while one was not homosexual, one did not particularly disapprove of it.

"Oh, Moses, smell the roses!": interjection comparable to "Sweet, fancy Moses!" "Oh, the humanity!": the phrase used by Newman after his U.S. Postal Service truck catches fire while he is driving at night. Newman is repeating the famous radio call of the Hindenberg disaster by Herb Morrison.

"Pretty big matzo ball": the phrase "I love you" when said and unreturned hangs out there like a matzo ball. Pop-in: the act of visiting without invitation or notification. Jerry claims to dislike the "pop-in" but has no choice as George, Elaine, and especially Kramer often "pop in" to his apartment.

"Poppie's a little sloppy": This is what Jerry said in reference to the fact that Poppie did not wash his hands before preparing their meal. ("The Pie")

Poor little Pinkus: used by Kramer when he thought he pushed Steve Gendason, his golf buddy and a former baseball player, over the edge, Gendason murdering Pinkus, the dry cleaner.

Queen of the castle: used to describe woman's (Elaine's) fortitude in refraining from masturbation; feminine form of "master of my domain." Elaine was queen of the castle until she saw John F. Kennedy, Jr., in an exercise class.

Re-gift/re-gifter: take a (usually undesirable) present given to you, and give to someone else. Ribbon Bully: someone who forces to you wear a red AIDS ribbon.

Schmoopie: nauseatingly sweet term of affection used by couples for each other, as in "I love you, Schmoopie!" Jerry

uses it with a girlfriend, to George and Elaine's disgust.

"Serenity now!": something that George's father Frank paradoxically yells as a mantra to calm down. Unfortunately,

when one uses the "serenity now" method of anger management, the person swallows the anger until it reaches a critical level and he or she explodes. Lloyd Braun claims that this is how he was driven insane: "Serenity now. Insanity later."

"Seinfeld, you magnificent bastard!": when Jerry impresses himself. Sexual camel: someone who can go long periods between sex. Shiksappeal: a non-Jewish femaleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sex appeal; it is a play on the Yiddish word shiksa. Shrinkage: the shrinking of a man's (George Costanza) penis in cold water. "Like a frightened turtle,"

as Jerry says.

Slip one past the goalie: to impregnate a woman, as phrased by Jerry in response to Kramer's lament that he had never done it.

Soup Nazi: rude and gruff restaurateur who would kick clients out for not following procedures, declaring, "No soup for you!"

"So who's having sex with the hen?": the climax to Frank Costanza's dinner table commentary while he and Estelle are meeting Susan Ross' parents for the first time.

Spongeworthy: that a potential sexual partner is particularly worthy; in the original episodes, being "spongeworthy" meant Elaine was willing to use one of her limited supply of (no longer produced) contraceptive Today sponges with this person. Stopping short: the technique of a driver of a car (usually male) who slams on the brakes, in order to get a cheap feel of the person in the passenger seat. Frank Costanza was notoriously good at this, and became angered when he believed Kramer had stopped short on Estelle. "Sweet Fancy Moses!!": exclaimed by Jerry and George when they both are subject to Elaine's horrendous dancing.

THE MOMENTS

"That'll be ... five ... ten ... minutes": to put off those who are in waiting, such as for a free table in a restaurant, for

what overtly appears a moderate duration, but with the effect or even the intention to wait indefinitely.

"That's a shame": a line Jerry frequently uses to express half-hearted sympathy. George sometimes says it, too. Kramer uses the line in an episode where he and Jerry switch apartments and personalities.

"That's gold, Jerry! Gold!": phrase used by Bania when Jerry offers him a joke to use in his comedy routine, in place of one of Bania's own.

The belt-less trenchcoat: a men's fashion design created by Morty Seinfeld in the late 1940s/early 1950s. Considered by

the elder Seinfeld to be one of his greatest accomplishments. Also known as "The Executive." "The jerk store called: they're running out of you!" George's comeback for "The ocean called. They're running out of shrimp." George was pigging out on shrimp at a Yankeesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; meeting.

The jimmy leg: a condition that people have when their leg undergoes spasms while sleeping causing his/her significant other to lose sleep. This condition may cause a couple to sleep in different beds; Frank and Estelle Costanza resorted to sleeping in twin beds as a result of her jimmy arm.

The move: Jerry's complicated special move he uses during sexual intercourse. It ends with a swirl (as opposed to

George's unpopular alternative, which ends with a pinch). George was able to master Jerry's move only with crib notes he scribbles on his hand (which got him in trouble).

The old switcheroo: George mistakenly uses this phrase as applying to when someone has done something to you,

you do the same thing to them. Jerry explains that George is thinking of "what is good for the goose is good for the gander." George asks, "What is a gander, anyway?" Jerry answers, "A goose that's had the old switcheroo pulled on it."

The tap: during sex, to get a tap on the shoulder by your partner to cease activities because of subpar performance. The twirl: Jerry used to sell umbrellas on the street and claims he invented holding the umbrella open over one's

shoulder and twirling it. The twirl must be done at a certain speed; otherwise, the twirler will disorient the customer.

Toe thumbs: one of Jerry's girlfriends had a mysterious "tractor story." George suggested she lost her thumbs in a tractor accident and they grafted her big toes onto her thumbs. "These pretzels are making me thirsty!": a line Kramer was to say in a Woody Allen movie; all four characters

practiced saying the line in different ways. Later used as a filler phrase when irritated or nervous, and at a loss for words.

"They just ... write it off!â&#x20AC;?: Kramer expressing his belief in a "write off" being something for which the consequences can be ignored, such as when a company writes off a loss.

"They're real, and they're spectacular!": Explanation by Jerry's girlfriend about her real body. Jackie Chiles repeats this line, word for word, in The Finale.

To name name(s) - an expression of the ultimate and irredeemable betrayal of an (until then shared) idea, or good; it refers to the betrayer.

Trifecta: combining sex, watching television, and eating into one activity. Two-face: describes a girl who looks good in one lighting condition, and ugly in another. Also used: "hotsy totsy, hotsy notsy."

S-Y U

Urban Sombrero: Advocated by Elaine, a sombrero designed for the urban business professional, combining "the spirit of Old Mexico with a little big-city panache". After becoming president of the company, Elaine proudly promotes the hat on the cover of the J. Peterman Catalog. The urban sombrero then bombs, and afterwards becomes symbolic of Elaine's hubris and, in general, of failure. As Peterman describes it, when Elaine shows him the catalog in the Burmese jungle, "The horror...the horror." This hat also took away the sales from umbrella salesmen. "Now we got that damn 'urban sombrero' to contend with."

"Vargas!": a positive exclamation, the opposite of "Newman!" as to identify a single individual being responsible for something that's good, from “The Bizarro Jerry”.

"Vile weed!": term used by Newman to describe broccoli.

Walk-and-talk: Used in “The Finale”. Jerry advised Elaine that it was bad form to talk to a friend and then abruptly hang up on him or her while outdoors on a cell phone. There were other iterations of this expression later in the episode.

"Who is this?": Said by Jerry when called by a friend with a desperate situation. Worlds Theory: A theory of George's explaining that if relationship George and independent George where to meet then

both his worlds will collide and explode. Unaware of this theory, Jerry suggested Elaine should be friends with Susan given that Elaine had no women friends. Kramer knew about this theory, Jerry apparently did not.

"Yada yada yada”: used largely like "et cetera, et cetera", although in the original Seinfeld episode it was used to gloss

over important details. George had a girlfriend who yada yada'd shoplifting. Elaine described a bad date - she yada yada'd sex, but she did mention the lobster bisque.

"You are so good looking": a proposed alternative phrase for when someone sneezes, rather than "God bless you." "You can stuff your sorries in a sack!": George's annoying retort to Jerry's untimely "betrayal". It was i nvented by Susan.

"You gotta see the baby!": annoying phrase muttered by new parents to uninterested friends. "You mean the panties your mother laid out for you?": An attempt at dirty talking by Jerry. What does it mean?

No one is sure. This phrase caused Elaine's too-talkative work colleague Sandra to break up with Jerry in the middle of sex. Although as George points out, "Well, that's not offensive. It's abnormal, but it's not offensive."

"You tell that son of a bitch that no Yankee is ever coming to Houston, not as long as you bastards are running things!": George's sarcastic response to the Astros' question about their team playing against the Yankees. Upon hearing this out of context, Wilhelm angrily slams down the phone, and later Steinbrenner recommends a hot tub to George.

Yo-Yo Ma!: A prominent cellist whose name is exclaimed randomly by Kramer after being kicked in the head by "Crazy" Joe Davola.

THE MOMENTS

On Seinfeld, the psychopathy felt normalâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;almost boring.The people just talked like people.They sat in a coffee shop and casually discussed how civilization was awful and existence is meaningless, and twenty-two million people watched it every week.

END NOTES

The show propagated unabashed cynicism, only to be often punctuated by a joke. And thats not nothing. We laughed through (and often at) the pain as narcissism consumed these characters, inevitably rendering anyone who entered their crosshairs a casualty of humor. Now more than a quarter of a century removed, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re still examining the show about nothing. Perhaps because in its own depraved way, it said everything. If you do manage to binge-watch every episode of Seinfeld, we promise you three things: First, you will have witnessed a show that redefined the modern sitcom, paving the way for dozens of pale imitators. Second, you will see myriad great actors in bit parts before they made it big. And finally, you will laugh.

ENDNOTES

SEINFELD

25 years. Thats not nothing

END NOTES

Seinfeld owed its initial success not to sheer popularity, but rather to capturing a demographic group that wielded economic clout. Although televisions are owned and viewed by almost all classes and groups in America, viewing habits vary according to different demographics. There was a connection among the characters and the audience members. Vicariously, I was yelled at by the Soup Nazi, I waited for a table in a Chinese restaurant, and it was I who stole a marbled rye from an old woman. Still, the Seinfeld characters were soulless creatures, but they went beyond just being amoral, they were immoral without suffering any consequence, almost like a cartoon.

It’s fitting that both a practical comment and an insult are at show’s inception. This ability to simultaneously critique and mock would be the driving force in Seinfeld’s nine-season stint, dominating the airwaves with each passing year. As it stands now, Seinfeld appears more as a sacrosanct monument than a sitcom. To the most ardent followers, critiquing the show is to commit some kind of comedy treason. This is sacred ground, and it mustn’t be tampered with. From the beginning Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld’s nihilistic lovechild knew what it was: a sardonic, world-weary comedy revolving around a quick-witted band of misanthropes, bound together by their fervent contempt for the world around them.

Despite the series’ pervasiveness in the mainstream—”Serenity now!” and dozens of catchphrases went the ’90s version of viral; the series won 10 Emmys—Seinfeld was thoroughly transgressive, always staying funny while appealing to our most cynical selves. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

the recap. 67

YOU WATCHED EVERY EPISODE, QUOTED CHARACTERS FROM KRAMER TO FRANK COSTANZA ON A REGULAR BASIS, AND DELIGHTED AT THE MANY SQUIRMY SITUATIONS GEORGE FOUND HIMSELF IN. AND WHEN, AFTER NINE SEASONS, THE "SEINFELD" CREW DECIDED TO CALL IT QUITS, YOU BUSTED OUT A BUFFET OF DRAKE'S COFFEE CAKES, JUNIOR MINTS, AND YOO-HOO AND PREPARED TO BID JERRY AND HIS PALS FAREWELL.

Even if you’ve never watched Seinfeld, there’s a good chance one of the many sayings, terms, and lines of dialogue that series is famous for have popped up somewhere in your life. The sitcom gave birth to and/or popularized an endless stream of phrases that have remained culturally

relevant even in the years since the show ended. For example: You likely know a “close talker,” a “low talker,” or a “double dipper.” You’ve probably hoped someone in a public bathroom could “spare a square” for you or been in a relationship with a “bad breaker-upper.”

TWENTY FIVE YEARS OF NOTHING a commemorative recap to celebrate televisions greatest sitcom