What does True Love look like?

By Elisha Bradburn

“I really, really love my horse, I mean he is so spoiled! I just got him the latest Scottie dogs licking ice cream cones print rain sheet, and the pink buck stitched saddle pad with matching pink skid and bell boots! I also closed him up real snug in his stall so he would be nice and cozy at night, and I bought him the fancy bit with real silver on the cheek pieces.”

While all these things are quite nice, they are ways we might feel loved, but not actually what horse’s love, value, or need. Learning to think from the horse’s perspective, not putting our perspective onto them, is a process. A process that takes time and the desire for something MORE with horses to achieve.

The beginning of this process is to truly understand the horse as a creature and to truly begin to think about what we could do to show him/her love in a way he/she might actually appreciate. Horses are prey animals, and their basic needs are safety, comfort, food, play and reproduction. This is a good place to start understanding horses so we can love them better.

Horses, being prey animals, feel safest with the freedom to flee. Box stalls are generally not conducive to granting a horse this freedom. So contrary to some of our beliefs, horses by nature, would most often choose being outside rather than confined in a stall. Ever notice this on a rainy day when your horse is standing outside rather than in a stall or shelter, if given a choice? Horses are designed to move. A stall impedes this basic need. Horses’ coats (without blankets interfering) are designed to look after them very well in almost any weather. The exception is probably where there is no shelter from trees or a roof, and it is very rainy, cold, and windy all at once for extended periods. Horses, unlike us, do not care what they look like, so the latest gear

Elisha loving on her horses Soda Pop and Hefner. Photo by Heidi Shuster.

Elisha and her horse Doodle. Photo by Riata Imagery. or grooming products are of no consequence to helping a horse feel appreciated. We can, however, do the bare minimum of ensuring our gear fits well and is comfortable for the horse. Details such as, whenever possible, having gear made of natural fibres, such as mohair cinches or leather girths, wool felt saddle pads, and real leather latigos are most comfortable and last the longest. Man-made materials such as nylon and neoprene tend to have no give to them for expanding and contracting rib cages, and do not breathe well, therefore they sweat which can cause sores/galls and create discomfort and pinching. Having head gear for your horse that you have studied the way it functions, so you are using it appropriately is also a bare minimum courtesy. When you understand the way a bit, hackamore, side pull, or whatever you use works is very helpful in riding compassionately and with accuracy in our communication.

We can give horses enough space to be horses whenever possible. If we don’t have much space to offer we can keep the space we do have clean and free of manure to minimize flies and mud. We can take good care of our horse’s hooves with regular trims and shoes when necessary. We can provide excellent hay and water, and a mineral block. We can provide space for play, and interaction with other horses, since horses are very social creatures. We can be the kind of human we would want stewarding us if we were a horse. We can have empathy, patience and grace. We can put principles first, and goals second, so we don’t miss the big picture stuff. We can appreciate the amazing compatibility God created in that a 1000 lb prey animal allows little predators (us) to ride around on their backs when they could easily squish us. Appreciating the horse as a horse, in ways that have meaning to them is true love.

As you probably already figured, this idea works wonders when applied to our human relationships too. Learning to love people in ways that have meaning to them, and realizing it may be different from our own thoughts on what love looks like is key. This is true love, loving a person or creature how they want to be loved, not how we think they should be loved.

Love well my friends!

Elisha Bradburn and her husband Clay own Faithful Farm, an equestrian center in the Fraser Valley. Elisha’s passion with horses lies in psychology based horsemanship, with a strong consideration for the horse’s point of view. Elisha is available for speaking engagements and can be followed on her Legacy Horsemanship pages on both Facebook and Instagram or e-mailed at legacyhorsemanship@shaw.ca.

(See her listing in our Business Services section under TRAINERS)