Self-control

Miles Kingdon is coaching me and Boone on herd work, which requires self-control in many ways.

Self-control

By Elisha Bradburn Photo credit Christa Miremadi

This is my final article on the ‘Qualities of a Good Horseman.’ I hope you have enjoyed the articles so far, and possibly they have even helped enrich your relationships, equine and otherwise! As I am sure you have realized the pursuit of horsemanship requires of us at some point to understand that for our horsemanship to improve, we ourselves must be on a journey of introspection and accountability.

As we inventory our role in interactions, we might see that sometimes we miss the mark by becoming impatient or impulsive. This is where our 9th quality of a horseman is helpful, self-control. Self-control has many game changing applications in horsemanship.

To begin, there is the physical application of self-control; do

you have control of your body? Are you giving precise aids, with the appropriate amount of pressure, at the right time, in the right location? Sometimes we can be giving aids we don’t even know we are, so it is important to think about being in a quiet, comfortable and athletic neutral position unless you are trying to direct the horse.

Are you actually aware of and in control of your body weight, where it is placed, and how it affects the horse’s balance and therefore the quality of his movements? Are you balanced left to right and front and back, not tipping, leaning, bracing or stiffening more on one side? I am a big believer that if we expect athleticism from our horse, we should also be striving for it in ourselves. I enjoy a strength training and cardio program myself for this reason. To balance my body’s strength left and right so I can do my best for my horse to have better balanced control of my own body.

A mentor of mine also encourages his students to practice everything with your non-dominant hand as well as your dominant hand. I took this to heart, and it makes a big difference to be fluent with both your left and right hands in horsemanship. Everything from rope and rein handling, to getting on and off either side of the horse easily, is helped by this practice. Finally, on a physical level, are you able to use your body language, rope, stick and string, flag, spurs or whatever communication tools you are working with, with precision, smoothness and grace? All of that requires self-control.

The next aspect of self-control in horsemanship I want to touch

on is control of your emotions. Horses, like anyone we are passionate about, can bring our emotions bubbling to the surface. Are you able to exercise your emotional fitness, AKA self-control, to stay calm and communicative, especially when things are not going as planned? Emotional fitness, like physical fitness, increases with practice. We just need to keep at it, keep flexing the muscle of emotional fitness, by keeping perspective and maintaining self-control, and watch it grow. It will become easier to be the consistent, patient, and fair leader our horses need. I also find it really helpful to try to maintain an attitude of curiosity at all times. This helps avoid indulging in emotions that won’t serve you, such as frustration and anger. When things are going as planned, we can be curious about what we did right that made sense to the horse, and build on that. When things don’t go as planned, we can be curious about the reasons it didn’t make sense to the horse, and try something new.

Lastly, I think we could benefit from self-control when it comes

to the mental aspect of our horsemanship. It is good to have plans for our horses and what we are hoping to accomplish in a session, however we must temper our expectations and ego with self-control. We need to ensure we are addressing the horse that shows up that day. Horses, like people, can feel a bit different from day to day. Rather than being frustrated about our horse not understanding or being in the right state of mind for our plans, we can get really good at pivoting.

Don’t get married to your plans. Think of it as dating your plans, if they prove to be impossible to keep while still prioritizing your principles, break it off with that plan. As I mentioned, it is good to make plans, but it can become predatorial if we try to strictly adhere to those plans when they no longer fit the situation. We are wise to be flexible with our plans and always keep the long run in mind. We don’t want to sacrifice all the good we have built with our horse, just to physically force a task or exercise our horse isn’t prepared for.

Self-control sometimes requires a deep breath, perhaps a

prayer for wisdom, or walking away for a moment. I love to remember how patient God is with me when I am tempted to lose control. I even giggle in those moments at what a disappointment I have been at times, and yet God still loves me! And here I was going to become impatient over my horse not understanding my obviously inadequate communication!

One thing I do know, I never regret it when I exercise self-control with my horses. Take care my sweet friends, and take the time it takes. Keep in mind self-control is like muscle, the more you work it, the more you have of it.

Elisha Bradburn and her husband, Clay, own Faithful Farm, an equestrian center in the Fraser Valley. Elisha’s passion with horses lies in psychology based horsemanship, with a strong consideration for the horse’s point of view. Elisha is available for clinics and speaking engagements and can be followed on her Legacy Horsemanship pages on Facebook and Instagram or e-mailed at legacyhorsemanship@shaw.ca