SET APART MAGAZINE (ISSUE 35) by setapart

A M A G A Z I N E F O R E V E RY W O M A N | R E T U R N I N G TO C H R I S T- C E N T E R E D F E M I N I N I T Y

SET APART Never Alone GOD'S PERSPECTIVE ON LONELINESS EXCELLENT C O M M U N I C AT I O N THE MINISTRY OF ENCOURAGEMENT

y d a e nd R

a d e p p i u q E SUMMER 2022

| issue no. 35

From the Founder I in Christ, and Christ in me — this is the secret to a Christian life that actually works. Abiding in Him means refusing to disconnect from the Vine — clinging to Him as tightly as possible every moment of every day. My hope and prayer is that the truths within these pages will strengthen your desire to remain connected to your true life source — Jesus Christ. Without Him, we can do nothing. But with Him, all things are possible!

Lesl ie About Leslie Ludy F O U N D E R & D I R E C TO R O F S E T A PA R T G I R L

Leslie is a bestselling author and speaker with a passion for helping women become set apart for Christ. She and her husband, Eric, are the authors of nearly 30 books that have been translated into over a dozen languages around the world, including their widely known classic, When God Writes Your Love Story. Leslie’s bestselling books for women include Authentic Beauty, Set Apart Femininity, and The Set Apart Woman. Leslie and her husband Eric live in Colorado with their six children. The Ludys train Christians in Gospel-centered living through their powerful discipleship programs at the Ellerslie Campus in Windsor, Colorado. Learn more at: www.ellerslie.com and www.setapartgirl.com.

Fill your headphones with truth.

recent episodes

Join Leslie Ludy each week for a podcast that points you to Jesus Christ. Cultivate your vision for the beauty of Christ-centered femininity and be encouraged with practical tools to live it out.

Action-Based Christianity The Miracle of Unity Availability to God Never for a Moment Extraordinary Courage Fresh Reminders for Purity God Our Refuge

AVA I L A B L E AT S E TA P A R T G I R L . C O M A N D O N Y O U R FAV O R I T E L I S T E N I N G A P P S

Ideas for Family Worship Overcoming Prayer Roadblocks Praying Boldly When People Let You Down 3

He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it. 1 Thessalonians 5:24

FROM THE HEART OF OUR TEAM:

Recall a time when you saw God's gracious equipping for a new task, trial, or season He was calling you to enter.

Leslie Ludy

Annie Wesche

FOUNDER, DIRECTOR, & WRITER

C R E AT I V E D I R E C T O R , D E S I G N E R , & W R I T E R

When I was eighteen, I was invited to share my testimony for a mother-daughter tea at a local church, but at the last minute my speaking time was reduced to only four minutes. I wasn’t sure how I could communicate anything valuable in such a short time, but I felt that God was leading me to share what He had done in my life, even if it was only a few sentences. At first I felt uncertain about the whole situation, but the moment I took the mic and began to share, I felt the presence of God there with me. He gave me the grace to speak what needed to be spoken, and I saw Him work mightily in the hearts of those listening. His strength was made perfect through my weakness!

With my first several trips to Haiti, I loved my ministry work with children but was always very ready to come home after two or three weeks. I had no desire to live there. But on one particular trip, a beautiful shift happened in my heart and I didn’t want to leave. I felt an overwhelming love for the people of Haiti and a new sense of “home” walking on the dusty streets. Amazed by this significant work taking place in my heart, I laid it before the Lord and returned home to Colorado. Days later I learned that a new opportunity would be taking me back to live in Haiti! I was in awe of God’s lovingkindness to change and prepare my heart before He directed my steps — and it gave me a wonderful confidence in Him as I stepped into that new adventure.

Sarah Mockler

Mandy Saeler

MANAGING EDITOR & WRITER

C O N T E N T C U R AT O R & W R I T E R

Just prior to COVID-19, I moved from my secondstory, town apartment into a quiet, little house to assume a caretaking position. I had no idea that the Lord’s prompting me into this position was Him strategically placing me amidst a beautiful sanctuary with front-porch sunshine, backyard zinnias, and a dear woman to care for — which made the coming days of isolation and lockdowns filled with beauty and purpose. My trusting yes to this new assignment was given in obedience to Jesus, not knowing how I would “get it all done” amid my other responsibilities. But the Lord stilled my normally buzzing schedule to make room for tending to another soul. And I learned that the Lord presides over our portion and draws the best boundary lines for our lives.

In my mid-twenties, as I walked closely with God through a season of heartache, He did a work so precious in my heart that I’ve referred to it as a “springtime of soul.” The beautiful closeness to God and the deep settling of my heart in Him marked this season as truly sacred. Months later, I was met with a rushing wave of change that overwhelmed me, followed by a second and even a third wave. What God had established in my “springtime of soul" was a strong anchor that held me steady amid the swelling waters and sea spray. And I learned the great spiritual lesson that the best preparation for the unknown future is to walk closely with our God today.

Featured Content

Gaining God's Perspective on Seasons of Loneliness

Biblical Answers for Common Loneliness Struggles

Q&A with a Modern-Day Missionary

by Leslie Ludy

by Guest Writer, Emily W.

Treasuring What God Finds Significant

The Importance of Communicating with Excellence in Romantic Relationships

E X P E C TAT I O N S

by Sarah Mockler

by Heather Cofer

N E V E R A LO N E , PA RT O N E

HIDDEN

by Mandy Saeler

N E V E R A LO N E , PA RT T W O

HE SAID, SHE SAID

POURED OUT FOR HIS GLORY

G R E AT ( VA C AT I O N )

Remaining Christ-Focused in Seasons of Rest

Unless otherwise noted, photography by Bigstock, istock, Unsplash, Pexels, or Lightstock. Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture is taken from the New King James Version® copyright© 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

in this issue

WITH LOVE COLUMN

The Ministry of Encouragement by Annie Wesche

IN HONOR OF ISSUE 35

35 Ways to Brighten the Mundane

IN HIS PRESENCE

Ten Things That Hinder Prayer by NR Johnson

With sincerest gratitude: OUR E D ITOR IAL & PROD UCTION CONTR IBUTOR S:

Janae Brazeal, Sandi McConnaughey, Grace McConnaughey, and Jess White

SET APART MAGAZINE (ISSN 2473-2990) is published quarterly for $5.95 per month by Ellerslie Mission Society, 655 Southwood Lane, Windsor, CO 80550-5959. Periodicals postage paid at Windsor, CO. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: SET APART MAGAZINE, 655 Southwood Lane, Windsor, CO 80550-5959. © 2022 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This magazine contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from Leslie Ludy and Set Apart Girl®.

never alone part one GAINING GOD'S PERSPECTIVE ON SEASONS OF LONELINESS by

L E SL I E LUDY

Bare heights of loneliness ...a wilderness whose burning winds sweep over glowing sands, what are they to Him? Even there He can refresh us, even there He can renew us. Amy Carmichael

...[you] will leave Me alone. And yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me. John 16:32

sat dejectedly at our kitchen table, staring blankly out the window as my two small children played on the floor near my feet. Their carefree giggles sounded out of place against the depression and confusion that was threatening to spiral

me downward into a pit of despair. Eric and I had just come from a meeting with close friends in which we had both been falsely accused and unfairly criticized. These friends, whom we had sacrificially loved and prayed for, had suddenly turned against us with spite and disdain. I felt like David when he declared, “They have rewarded me evil for good, and hatred for my love” (Ps. 109:5). Never in my life had I felt so misunderstood. Besides Eric, who was also reeling from the same blow, there was nobody else I knew who had walked through anything similar — no one I could call on for empathy, compassion, or wisdom. Never before had I felt so alone. This unexpected rejection had come on the heels of an already lonely and difficult season. After spending nearly a decade traveling and speaking full time, Eric and I had spent the past year shifting gears and focusing on discipleship ministry. Our goal was to build deeper, longer-term relationships with people in individual and small-group settings. But things had not gone as we had hoped.

The small band of Christian young adults in whom we

of despair and misery, I became aware of God’s

had invested countless hours into over the past year

presence in a whole new way. In the midst of my

had all but dissolved. Some had fallen into sin and

emotional fog, loneliness, and pain, I came to know

walked away from God. Others felt that following

beyond all doubt that underneath me were His

the Narrow Way of the Cross was too extreme and

everlasting arms. (See Deuteronomy 33:27.)

wanted an easier road. Some had simply gotten too busy and distracted to make pursuing Christ

In that moment, I had nowhere else to turn but to

a high priority. Only a couple of people from the

Him. And that became an incredible blessing. As I

small discipleship group were still actively and

inwardly cried out to Him in desperation, He met

enthusiastically engaged.

me there. It was in that season of extreme pain and isolation that I began to experientially grasp

We felt uncertain about where God was leading us,

the reality that even though others may betray,

disregarded by the ones we had poured into, and

abandon, and fail me, and even when it seems like

rejected by close friends. But on that dark day, while

nobody else in the entire world can understand

sitting at the kitchen table grappling with feelings

what I’m going through … Jesus is enough.

I N T H A T M O M E N T, I H A D N O W H E R E E L S E T O T U R N BU T T O H I M . A N D T H AT BECAME AN INCREDIBLE BLESSING. ... That season is certainly not the only battle with loneliness I’ve fought. In fact, since then I’ve walked through more extreme times of feeling alone, rejected, isolated, abandoned, or disregarded. But each encounter with loneliness has brought a fresh reminder of the incredible nearness, comfort, restoration, and faithfulness of my King. Amy Carmichael expressed it beautifully, “Bare heights of loneliness … a wilderness whose burning

even there

winds sweep over glowing sands, what are they to Him? Even there He can refresh us, even there He can renew us.”1 From personal experience, I can say a hearty amen to those words. Some modern Christians have challenged the notion that Jesus is enough to carry us through seasons of loneliness with joy, peace, and triumph. For example, I recently saw an article on loneliness from a well-known Christian women’s ministry that referred to a statement from Oswald Chambers about intimacy with Christ being the answer to loneliness as “baloney.” The writer of the article went on to declare that we need more than God when it comes loneliness. And I’ve read several Christian books that excuse being discontent and angry over singleness as justifiable and right, because God created us with a need for human companionship. While it is certainly true that we were designed for human relationships and born with a healthy, intrinsic desire for companionship, it is certainly not true that Jesus cannot satisfy us at the deepest level of our

1. Elisabeth Elliot, Passion and Purity (Grand Rapids: Revell, 2002), 60.

He is our All in all.

soul, even if our earthly relationships are taken away or when others let us down. Never forget, He is our All in all. (See Ephesians 1:23.) And that means He is able to completely, perfectly, absolutely fulfill every single need our hearts will ever have — if we will allow Him to. This doesn’t mean that our desire for human companionship is wrong, or that God intends us to live our lives in a state of loneliness because it is somehow more spiritual to do so. Relationships with others are an amazing, God-given gift as well as an important part of our calling as Christians. But let’s never forget that when we have Jesus, we have everything we need whether we are in a season of “relational plenty” or “relational want.” Paul’s secret to being content in any and every situation as expressed in Philippians 4:12* doesn’t merely apply to our finances — but to every area of our lives as Christians. When we grasp this amazing truth, there is no need to fear times of loneliness … because we have Him.

My Cell, My Sanctuary Imagine being an ocean away from all that is familiar, cut off from friends and family in the middle of a world war. Imagine being imprisoned in a concentration camp surrounded by sorrow and sickness with no news of the outside world. Imagine learning your beloved husband has died without the chance to say goodbye. Imagine being falsely accused as a spy and placed in a filthy confinement cell with only a half-cup of maggot-filled rice to eat each day. Imagine being tortured by cruel guards while also suffering from serious illnesses and wasting away from starvation. And on top of all this, imagine being sentenced to be executed. This kind of scenario sounds far more like a terrible nightmare than anything that could ever really happen. And yet, it was actual reality for Darlene Deibler — an American missionary taken prisoner by the Japanese military during the Second World War. In one of the most powerful messages I’ve ever heard,

Darlene

recounted

the

overwhelming

HE IS ABLE TO

moment when she was put into solitary confinement

C O M P L E T E LY ,

isolation and dire circumstances she faced was truly

P E R F E C T LY ,

on death row. Her response to the extreme remarkable:

A B S O L U T E LY

When [the guard] opened the door [of my cell],

F U L F I L L E V E RY

that cell. I hit the other side, and then I turned

he got a hold of me, and he slammed me into

SINGLE NEED

around quickly and came back to the door

O U R H E A RT S

end of that key because I knew when it made

W I L L EV E R H AV E

row. And then I realized that I was singing.

— IF WE ALLOW HIM TO.

and dropped on my knees. I was watching the a complete revolution, I was locked in death It was a song I had learned as a little girl in Sunday school.

* "I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need."

“Fear not, little flock, whatever your lot, He

Jesus was rejected and abandoned in His greatest

enters all rooms, 'the doors being shut,' He

time of need by those who had vowed to always

never forsakes; He never is gone, So count on

stand with Him. (See John 16:32.) As Darlene Deibler

His presence in darkness and dawn.”

said, “He understands like nobody else can.”3

And I counted on His presence. I don’t know

Turn to Him with your pain, sorrow, and loneliness,

if you can understand what I’m saying … but

and you will experience the joyful realization that

that cell on death row became my sanctuary.

you are never alone because He has promised never

And my God was there with me. I wasn’t

to leave you or forsake you.

fighting against those walls. How truly it was written, “Iron bars do not imprison me” … and

And unlike human promises, His promises never fail.

I learned experientially about the comfort of the Holy Spirit.2

Though nearly all of us have walked through loneliness, few people on earth have experienced it at that level. But as Darlene testified, even in the midst of the loneliest, most dire situation we could

Similar testimonies can be found all throughout Christian history, as well as in persecuted countries today. I have often told the story of a pastor in China who was imprisoned for his faith in Christ. After spending a year in complete isolation from the outside world and being kept in almost total darkness, he emerged physically weak, but spiritually radiant. He declared that his year in solitary confinement had been a taste of Heaven on earth. It had been an entire year in the undistracted presence of Jesus Christ, and he didn’t regret a moment of it. Jesus was enough. So, the next time you feel alone, abandoned, or rejected … be encouraged. Jesus is ready and waiting to show His love, comfort, and faithfulness to you in a greater way than you can even imagine. Seasons of loneliness are not meant to last forever. But when they come, we have the privilege of allowing that loneliness to chase us into the loving arms of the God of All Comfort. Remember that

2., 3. Darlene Rose. “Darlene Rose Missionary Address.” Audio File. Des Moines, IA, circa 1980.

A purse essential you always carry: It doesn't always fit into my purse, but I always carry a water bottle with me due to the dry Colorado climate — although I usually lose it about once a week! A simple way to add heavenly sparkle to each day: I love decorating with Scriptures, as well as leaving Scripture reminders in my car, around the house, and even on my phone. Filling my mind and heart with truth all throughout the day always lifts my spirit and gives me a heavenly perspective. How you like to get moving in the summertime: I love hiking in the Rocky Mountains with my family! We have shared many adventures together on the trails — including racing downhill to beat a thunderstorm, finding hidden geocaches, and catching glimpses of snakes!

A BIT MORE ABOUT LESLIE

imagine — He was enough.

Seasons of loneliness ARE NOT MEANT TO LAST FOREVER. BUT WHEN THEY COME, W E H AV E T H E P R I V I L E G E O F A L LOW I N G T H AT LON E L I N E S S T O CHASE US INTO THE LOVING ARMS O F T H E G O D O F A L L C O M F O R T.

No one stood with me, but all forsook me ... G A I N I N G G O D ' S P E R S P E C T I V E O N But the Lord stood with SEASONS OF LONELINESS me and strengthened me... 2 Timothy 2:16–17

never alone part two BIBLICAL ANSWERS FOR COMMON LON E L I N E S S ST RU G G L E S

by L ES L I E

LU DY

will never forget sitting across the table from a well-known Christian leader, attempting to express the struggles Eric and I had been facing in ministry. We had been in an intense spiritual battle for a number of years; a battle that very few people in our lives could relate to.

We assumed that someone else in frontlines Christian ministry would understand. She didn’t. After listening silently with an odd look on her face, she asked, “Have you considered the possibility that you might have a martyr complex?” Loneliness doesn’t always mean physical isolation from others. During that conversation, I found myself grappling with another kind of loneliness, the loneliness of not feeling understood — of not having my most difficult struggles validated. Yet through the years, I’ve discovered that no matter what kind of loneliness I face, God’s unchanging, life-giving truth always offers the solution. This is not to say that human relationships are not meant to be a part of the answer, but we must begin with first things first. Any practical solution — such as building deeper, better, or stronger human relationships — should be an outflow of our most important relationship of all … our relationship with Jesus Christ.

Let’s take a look at some of the most common kinds of loneliness we face and explore God’s answers for each of them.

LO N E L I N E S S S T R U G G L E # 1

When Others Don't Understand You This is the form of loneliness that hits me most often. My life is rather unusual and sometimes doesn’t make sense to others. Even those closest to me can’t always relate to the pressures and responsibilities that come with my various roles as a mother of six, adoptive parent, ministry leader, pastor’s wife, etc. A number of years of ago when I was wishing I had someone to process with, someone who could truly understand, I came across a statement in one of Amy Carmichael’s books that shifted my perspective. She wrote of a private, personal struggle, saying, “I am dispirited. I cannot speak to anyone of the cause. It is private.” And God’s answer was, “I heard thee in the secret place of the storm. In the secret place among the unspoken things, there I am.”1 The idea of meeting our Lord in the “secret place” is replete throughout Scripture, as we’ve explored in previous articles. Psalm 91:1 tells us, “He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.” Jesus said, “But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly” (Matt. 6:6). And later He declared, “…do not appear to men to be fasting, but to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly” (Matt. 6:18). 18

1. Amy Carmichael, His Thoughts Said…His Father Said… (Fort Washington: CLC Publications, 2012), 10.

M AY OU R DE S I R E F O R H I M FA R S U R PA S S A N Y O T H E R L O N G I N G O F O U R H E A RT. Yes, it is an amazing gift to have trusted friends with whom we can share our struggles, those who can truly empathize with our pain and relate to our unique journey. But sometimes in our desire to be listened to and understood by others, we miss the incredible joy and privilege of meeting our God “in the secret place” — that private place in the soul where only He can comfort and only He can understand. Even when nobody else in the world can understand us or offer anything helpful, He knows, He hears, and He is waiting to meet us there in that beautiful, secret place. He is the All-Sufficient One and the God of All Comfort. And His help is far superior than the help of men. (See Psalm 108:12.) If you feel like others don’t relate to your struggles, it’s a great idea to bring that request to God and ask Him to bring trusted, Christ-centered friends into your life. He loves to answer that prayer! But in the meantime, remember that He is ready to meet you in the secret place. The Bible tells us that we can pour out our heart to Him, cast our cares upon Him, and lay our burdens at His feet. (See Psalm 62:8; 1 Peter 5:7; Psalm 55:22.) As wonderful as human empathy is, it can’t compare to the incredible joy of being known, understood, and loved by the King of all kings. As Psalm 73:25 says: “Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.” May our desire for Him far surpass any other longing of our heart. 19

LO N E L I N E S S S T R U G G L E # 2

When You Are Isolated From Others Sometimes God allows us to be isolated from others

decades in a remote part of the desert, isolated

for a season. Being alone can be extremely difficult,

from his people. Both men needed that undistracted

but it also presents an amazing opportunity for

season of being alone with God in order to prepare

spiritual growth — where distractions are removed

for the incredible spiritual weights they would be

and we can focus completely on deepening our

called to carry in the future.

most important relationship of all, our relationship with Him. If we allow God to use our solitary seasons

Elisabeth

Elliot

once

made

the

statement,

to deepen our understanding of Him, it can serve as

“Loneliness is a required course for leadership.”2 I

amazing preparation for ministry and leadership in

have certainly found that to be true in my own life.

the future. During the time when it seemed like Eric and I had

When the Apostle Paul was first called into ministry,

very few true friends, I began to see how God was

God led him to spend several years in a lonely,

using that isolated and lonely season to equip us

out-of-the-way place in order to prepare him for

for spiritual leadership. My loneliness in that time

the enormous responsibility of building the early

provided an amazing opportunity to learn how

Church. (See Galatians 1:17.) And before Moses was

to stand strong in my convictions, regardless of

ready to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, he spent

whether others stood with me or not. The false

2. Elisabeth Elliot. AZQuotes.com, Wind and Fly LTD, 2022. https://www.azquotes.com/quote/712403, accessed April 24, 2022.

ASK GOD TO USE YOUR LONELINESS T O D E E P E N Y O U R U N D E R S TA N D I N G OF WHO HE IS... accusation and criticism we experienced, as well

surround us. In light of the isolation and rejection

as the disregard of people who felt our message

we were walking through, this felt like a nearly

of complete surrender to Christ was too extreme,

impossible prayer. And yet, He answered this desire

reminded us that being reviled for the sake of the

exceedingly, abundantly beyond anything we could

Gospel is an honor and privilege. As Jesus said,

have hoped. It wasn’t but a couple of years later that

“Blessed are you when they revile and persecute

I sat in our Ellerslie Chapel during a worship service,

you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for

marveling at the hundreds of genuine, passionate,

My sake” (Matt. 5:11).

loyal, likeminded believers God had brought to us from all around the world. He had indeed created

God used that season to teach us how to stand firmly

beauty from ashes.

for truth whether we were applauded or rejected. And several years later when our discipleship

He can do the same for you. Remember, we serve

ministry began, I saw the brilliance of God in walking

a God who loves to do exceedingly abundantly

us through that lonely season.

beyond all that we can ask or think. (See Ephesians 3:20–21.)

When you are isolated or separated from others for a season, ask God to use your loneliness to deepen your understanding of who He is and prepare you to stand boldly for His truth, even if you are the only one standing. Remember that God doesn’t intend to keep us isolated forever. In His perfect timing, God put Paul into a position of leading churches and proclaiming the Gospel where he was constantly surrounded by loving brothers and sisters in Christ. And God built Moses into the respected leader of an entire nation. God promises to take our pain and sorrow and creates beauty from ashes when we trust Him. (See Isaiah 61:3.) In my own life, I saw this principle prove true as His amazing redemption and restoration flowed out of that season of loneliness and isolation. One of our prayers was for loyal partners in the Gospel and a strong community of likeminded believers to

tremendous purpose LO N E L I N E S S S T R U G G L E # 3

This is a common story and maybe one that you can

When You Are Single With a Desire to be Married

relate to. One of the reasons that being content in

In her book, Tramp for the Lord, Corrie ten Boom

stumbling block of discontentment.

our single years is often difficult is because marriage is clearly a good gift from God, and the desire for marriage is something He created within us. So it’s easy to buy into the notion that something so right and God-ordained couldn’t possibly become a

wrote about a conversation that she had with a middle-aged single missionary who was lonely and

And yet, just as food is also a good and healthy

extremely bitter about being single:

gift from God, Paul learned to be content without it. (See Philippians 4:12.) And just as family bonds

“One evening while we were alone in her little

are a blessing from God, Jesus asked some of His

[home] she confessed her bitterness and resentment

disciples to follow Him without even stopping to tell

over being unmarried. ‘Why have I been denied the

their families goodbye. (See Luke 9:61–62.)

love of a husband, children, and a home? Why is it that the only men who ever paid any attention to

Surrender isn’t just about giving up the selfish, immoral

me were married to someone else?’ Long into the

vices in our lives, but also a willingness to lay down the

night she poured out her poison of frustration … I

good and perfect gifts that come from God — such

looked across the little table at the bitter woman in

as the desire for marriage, friends, family, and so on.

front of me. Her face was furrowed, her eyes hard

Surrendering those good gifts doesn’t mean we will

with resentment. I sensed she was trying to run away

never have them, or that the desire for them is wrong.

from her frustrations.”

Rather, it means yielding them to God to do with as

3. Corrie ten Boom with Jamie Buckingham, Tramp for the Lord (Fort Washington: CLC Publications, 1974), 169–170.

He sees fit without demanding them as our right or

Some modern Christian books have said that if we

making our happiness conditional upon them.

look to Christ for fulfillment in our single years, we are merely trying to over-spiritualize our singleness.

Elisabeth Elliot explained it this way. “A good and

But I don’t believe for a moment that finding our

perfect gift, these natural desires. But so much more

security and happiness in Christ is over-spiritualizing

the necessary that they be restrained, controlled,

singleness. Rather, it’s applying the Gospel to

corrected, even crucified, that they might be reborn

singleness.

in power and purity for God.”

If you are frustrated with your Corrie ten Boom contrasted the bitter missionary’s story to

A P P LY I N G T H E

the beautiful example she’d

GOSPEL TO

seen in her traveling assistant,

SINGLENESS

who was a single young woman in her thirties. “She is single,

singleness, I encourage you to take your desire for marriage to God and ask Him to fulfill that desire in His own perfect time and way. He is still in the business of writing beautiful

yet she has learned the secret of living a balanced

love stories when we offer the pen to Him! But

life … she did not feel that God had called her to

we must always remember, as Corrie ten Boom

a single life, rather she felt that one day, in God’s

said, “Marriage is not the answer to unhappiness.

time, she would marry. However, until that time

Happiness can only be found in a balanced

arrived — one year or thirty years from then — I

relationship with the Lord Jesus.”6

knew she was secure in Jesus and not looking to a husband or children for security.”5

Marriage and family are amazing gifts from God, but if we look to marriage as the secret to our

4. Elisabeth Elliot, Passion and Purity (Grand Rapids: Revell, 2002), 69. 5. Corrie ten Boom with Jamie Buckingham, Tramp for the Lord (Fort Washington: CLC Publications, 1974), 158. 6. Corrie ten Boom with Jamie Buckingham, Tramp for the Lord (Fort Washington: CLC Publications, 1974), 172.

happiness, we will always be disappointed. Human

loneliness. I can see them still. Then I turned to my

love will always fall short of the perfect satisfaction

God in a kind of desperation and said, ‘Lord, what

He can bring to our souls.

can I do?’ … And He said, ‘None of them that trust in Me shall be desolate’ (Psalm 34:22). That word

If you are in a single season, remember that He has

has been with me ever since … It has been fulfilled

a tremendous purpose for this time of your life —

to me. It will be fulfilled to you. Only live for Him

one that goes far beyond wishfully setting up online

who redeemed you and trust Him to take care of

dating profiles and putting your life on hold until

you, and He will.”7

you finally meet the right guy. As one of her biographies states, Amy could not Whether He calls you to a temporary season or a

have known when she went away to that cave that

lifetime of singleness, you can rest assured that

the word “lonely” would never be used to describe

He will give you everything you need for perfect

her life! In the years to come, hundreds of Indian

happiness when you put Him first.

children would call her “Amma” (meaning mother) and many precious Indian women would count

One beautiful example of this is from the life of Amy

her as a dear sister. God indeed blessed her with

Carmichael, a missionary to India in the early 1900s.

a family. Although it was not the kind of family she

As a young woman, Amy had a desire to be married,

had originally envisioned, it was beautifully fulfilling

but felt that God had called her to a lifetime of

to her because she was in the center of His will.

singleness so she could give herself completely to mission work. She began to struggle greatly with the

When we lay our all on the altar, no matter how

fear of loneliness. Finally, she decided to get alone

painful the process is, we can be confident that

with God and gain His perspective on what she was

there are unspeakable treasures of joy awaiting us

going through. Years later she wrote about that

on the other side of the suffering, the waiting, and

experience as an encouragement to several young

the surrender — whether that means marriage or a

women she was discipling:

different fulfillment of our heart’s desires.

“I went away alone to a cave in a mountain called

Our God can be implicitly trusted with every

Arima, in Japan. I felt many feelings of fear about

desire of our heart. As Amy Carmichael said, “It

the future. That was why I went there. I wanted to

is a safe thing to trust Him to fulfill the desire that

be alone with God. The devil kept on whispering,

He creates.”8

‘It’s alright now, but what about afterwards? You are going to be very lonely.’ And he painted pictures of

He is faithful.

W H E N W E L A Y O U R A L L O N T H E A LTA R . . . T H E R E A R E U N S P E A K A B L E T R E A S U R E S O F J OY A WA I T I N G U S O N T H E O T H E R S I D E O F T H E S U F F E R I N G , T H E WA I T I N G , A N D T H E S U R R E N D E R .

7. Amy Carmichael, Candles in the Dark (Fort Washington: CLC Publications, 2012), 29. 8. Source unknown.

LO N E L I N E S S S T R U G G L E # 4

When You Feel Overlooked and Excluded It’s amazing how we can be in the midst of a crowd, or even surrounded by a group of fellow Christians, and still feel like an outsider. The enemy often plays upon our own insecurities and whispers lies in our ear, such as, “They don’t really care about you. They are not interested in your life. They wouldn’t even notice if you weren’t here.” I’ve heard those lies more than once. Maybe you have, too. Whenever we begin to feel insecure, overlooked, or left out, we can respond in one of two ways. We can let those lies turn us inward and bait us toward sorrow, self-pity, or depression, or we can choose to rise above them and walk in truth, by the enabling grace of God. The truth is that we are loved and valued by the King of all kings. We are infinitely precious to Him. What a glorious reality. Our confidence must come from knowing who we are in Christ. It should not be conditional upon how others treat us or whether they remember to show interest in us. This can be easier said than done, especially if you have a sensitive personality like I do. But here are two practical steps that have helped me when I am tempted to let my emotions spiral downward because of the insensitivity of others. First, I remember who I am in Christ. I am a daughter of the King, redeemed by the precious blood of the Lamb, and His banner over me is love. I am part of His royal family. (See Psalm 45:11; Revelation 5:9; Song of Solomon 2:4; 1 John 3:1.) And when I walk in that reality, I am far more able to take the second practical step: turning outward. Building others up is a surprising solution to insecurity. Instead

of wondering what people think of me, I become

of the Cross. So instead of seeing loneliness as a

focused instead on how I can showcase the light and

problem that needs to be avoided at all costs, let’s

love of Christ to them.

begin to see it for what it really is: an opportunity to grow closer to Christ than we ever thought possible.

Turning outward and blessing others never fails to uplift me emotionally and help me feel truly

Remember who our King really is — not a distant

connected to the people around me. It is only

God who can’t relate to our struggles or meet our

possible to do this when we yield to the enabling

deepest needs, but the perfect fulfillment of every

grace of God. But when we allow His light to shine

longing within our heart.

through us, loneliness is replaced by joy.

...

of who Jesus Christ is and who He wants to be in our lives. When we allow Him to be all these things to

As a reminder — while loneliness is not typically

us, we’ll have a whole new perspective on seasons

God’s lifelong design for us, seasons of loneliness

of loneliness!

are a necessary part of following the Narrow Way

I’d like to finish with an amazing, scriptural reminder

He is M Y P ORT ION, M Y M A K E R , M Y H U S BA N D MY WELL-BELOVED

(SONG OF SOLOMON 1:13)

M Y S AV I O R MY HOPE

(2 PETER 3:19)

(1 TIMOTHY 1:1)

MY BROTHER MY HELPER

(MARK 3:35)

(HEBREWS 13:6)

MY PHYSICIAN

(JEREMIAH 8:22)

MY HEALER

(LUKE 9:11)

MY REFINER

(MALACHI 3:3)

MY PURIFIER

(MALACHI 3:3)

MY LORD, MY MASTER

(JOHN 13:13)

M Y S E R VA N T

(LUKE 12:37)

MY EXAMPLE

(JOHN 13:15

MY TEACHER

(JOHN 3:2)

MY SHEPHERD MY KEEPER MY FEEDER

(PSALM 23:1)

(JOHN 17:12) (EZEKIEL 34:23)

MY LEADER

(ISAIAH 40:11)

MY RESTORER

(PSALM 23:3)

MY RESTING PLACE

(JEREMIAH 50:6)

M Y M E AT, M Y D R I N K M Y PA S S O V E R MY PEACE MY WISDOM

(ISAIAH 54:5)

(JOHN 6:55)

(1 CORINTHIANS 5:7) (EPHESIANS 2:14) (1 CORINTHIANS 1:30)

MY RIGHTEOUSNESS

(1 CORINTHIANS 1:30)

M Y S A N C T I F ICAT ION

(1 CORINTHIANS 1:30)

MY REDEMPTION MY ALL IN ALL

(1 CORINTHIANS 1:30) (COLOSSIANS 3:11)

POURED OUT FOR HIS GLORY A Special Q&A with Modern-Day Missionary, Emily W.

Share a bit about yourself and where God has called you to serve Him in this season.

I grew up on a farm in Pennsylvania driving tractors and milking cows. There were many days on the farm that I imagined myself on the mission field. I finished high school and went on to nursing school to get some practical preparation for the remote tropical jungle — what I didn’t imagine was the desert. The Lord took me on quite a journey before arriving in North Africa to begin working among the Makai people. First, He patiently began to open my eyes to my motivations for crosscultural work. What began (in my imagination) as a cool adventure and a way to help people gradually became a conviction from the Word. Feeling a nudge from the Lord, I took a green crayon and read through my Bible, highlighting all the passages that showed something about God’s heart for the nations. I was shocked at how green my Bible was at the end of that season! I brought that Bible with me. It’s a reminder that I didn’t dream up this idea. God, from eternity past, set His affection on redeeming a Bride from all peoples. As the Lord refined my motivations, there was one thing that began to stand taller than all the rest: the worthiness of the Lord. My own goodness will run dry, adventure will get old, and the people will get under my skin. But the one motivation that will never fail me, that will never lessen, that will never run out, is His glory. Ultimately, that fact is what brought me here. Armed with that motivation, I became more convinced that I must go to a place where there is no Gospel witness in the local language — a place where people are isolated from the truth and do not have access

to Scripture. After years of seeking where that people group might be and spending a year at a missions training center, the Lord led my teammates and I to pursue church planting in North Africa among the Makai people. I am at the beginning of my journey — still learning my first foreign language (an Arabic dialect), and looking somewhat forebodingly at the Makai language ahead of me — which promises to be even more challenging. There are over half a million Makai people deep in the bonds of Islam. They live with the belief that an angel on their right shoulder records all their good deeds and an angel on their left shoulder records all of their bad deeds. They faithfully pray five times a day, they fast during the month of Ramadan, they perform good works — all with the hope that one day God will find the record from the angel on the right shoulder and it will outweigh the one from the left. These people are deceived and headed for eternal hell-fire. God is not exalted among them. That’s what gripped my heart.

What has readied you for being poured out for His glory on the mission field?

Some years back I began the practice of asking every missionary I met what advice they would give to someone preparing to go to the mission field. There were some common themes that emerged. I was told many times that getting on an airplane and landing on foreign ground would not magically make me into a different person. They were right. Be assured, being called a “missionary” will not cause you to be someone you never were before. In fact, landing on foreign soil and living in a foreign culture among foreign people may cause you to be more acutely aware of your weaknesses and sins than ever before. As

a result of their advice, I began to take everyday life in America more seriously and to live more intentionally for the Kingdom. You will never be readied for His work apart from pouring over the Word, seeking the Lord, and growing in prayer. Another piece of advice I received was to make friends with people who are not yet followers of Christ. After all, if you move to an unreached part of the world, nearly all your friends will initially be unbelievers. This is not to undermine the necessary fellowship in the Body of Christ. The Church is essential for the believer to be encouraged, held accountable, and spiritually strengthened. However, you will likely never be an effective witness for Christ to unbelievers without intentionally seeking ways to be a part of their lives, befriend them, and share the Gospel with them. Part of what aided this mentality was growing up in a home with an open door. For a large portion of my life, my family had someone from outside our family living with us: a Tanzanian pastor, foster kids, ministry workers, people working through various difficulties, or elderly family members. My mom was often the first person to invite visitors at our church for Sunday lunch — even if we had no lunch prepared beforehand! I am so thankful for how “normal” this was for our family. It always seemed like the next right thing was to say yes to whomever was knocking at our door. We do our best to have an open door here in North Africa as well. Except here it is not the exception … it’s the norm. I have much to learn from the hospitality of my new neighbors and friends, but I will ever be grateful for the hospitality I saw lived out within my family. Lives are messy, and it’s really easy to dodge the messiness of others in America. But Jesus sat with tax collectors and sinners, and when the religious leaders of the day questioned why He would ever have anything to do with these people, Jesus said, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick” (Mark 2:17b ESV). Be willing to get your hands dirty, be taken advantage of, and take the risk of investing in someone that few others would consider worth their time.

be willing... 31

Can you share a few experiences of realistic missionary living and what the Lord has taught you as you adapt to living in a different country?

As a kid, I remember reading about Elisabeth Elliot returning to the Waodoni people after they had killed her husband and his friends, Richard Wurmbrand unwaveringly standing for the truth in communist prison, Lillian Trasher rescuing hundreds of children in Egypt, Amy Carmichael snatching children from temple prostitution in India … I could go on and on. I was enraptured by their heroic efforts, thrilling escapes, near-death adventures, and I imagined myself one day following in their footsteps. When I was 20 years old, I spent a few months in the remote jungles of Papua New Guinea with my aunt and uncle who were missionaries when some of the everyday realities of missionary life hit me. Missionaries spend much of their time doing all the daily “life things” that need to happen. Often the amazing exploits that we remember our missionary heroes for in their biographies comprise a fraction of an entire life of faithfulness in both the mundane as well as the extraordinary. And often, it’s the faithfulness in the little things that prepare you for greater acts of service. Even on a foreign field you still need to live life, cook food, and wash dishes. I saw my aunt and uncle pressing on in 120 degree heat, investing in the new church plant, translating the Bible, waking up early, and going to bed late. It wasn’t so much of an adventure as it was faithfulness in day-in and day-out tasks. Life here certainly has its adventures, too! Like discovering that the local, self-acclaimed “tree doctor” is putting toothpaste on your friend’s son’s head to treat a nasty case of infected ringworm. Or experiencing

faithfulness day-in and day-out

the rickshaw rides — often hair-raising adventures in themselves. But the majority of my life does not have me on the edge of my seat looking on with great anticipation or snatching people from the brink of death. It’s more like pacing back and forth trying to focus on language study for seven hours straight! My task right now is to become a clear, articulate communicator of the Gospel in this language, and it’s just hard, non-glamorous work. Perhaps my greatest personal prayer has been that I would remain faithful, diligent, and that I would persevere in the mundane. That whatever I do — even if it’s racking my brain to string together an intelligible sentence — would be done as if I was doing it unto the Lord.

How has being a missionary invited you to count the cost? In what ways have you been challenged, shaped, and stretched to find your identity in Christ alone?

One night I had a dream. I was back at my old hospital job, but I was lost. I kept doing everything wrong. I didn’t understand the medical jargon the doctor was yelling at me to do. The patient was in desperate condition. One doctor told me to grab a medicine I had never heard of before. I was outdated and behind the times of the ever-advancing medical world. I had forgotten my old life, and everything I tried to do was just out of my reach. My life in the Sahara has changed me. I walked away from a season of life and a job that I absolutely loved. Before, my identity was largely in what I did. I was a trauma nurse in the emergency department. I was proud of my work. When I walked away from that life, I knew my identity

was going to change. While I don’t consider that leaving my career was a great and noble sacrifice, it did touch on an area in which I had placed an unhealthy identity. When I arrived in North Africa, I didn’t know a word of Arabic. I had no shared language with the people. Learning a language from the very beginning is a humbling experience. My pride took a hit. I became like a baby. I was dependent on others for everything. I didn’t know how to ask how much something cost. I didn’t know if I was getting ripped off. I didn’t know the name of my own neighborhood. I couldn’t tell my rickshaw driver to turn right at the next street. There’s a saying here that goes, “The fox sees his own tail and thanks it.” In other words, the fox looks at his tail and thanks himself for being so awesome. Perhaps we all need to think about what our personal “fox tail” is. What is it about myself that I think I’ve got down, don’t need help with, or can handle better than anyone else? Many of those areas were exposed when I got here. I took pride in being independent. I had always appreciated being an intelligible person, and

I was dependent.

then I just asked my neighbor what my mom’s name was instead of what her mom’s name was. Ugh!! There’s a temptation to prove to myself that I can make it in the world — to show off my “fox tail” — and convince people that it’s really as special as I think it is. Pride comes before the fall, and it won’t be long before the fox, running through the woods with his eyes fixated on his beautiful tail, will run head-on into a tree. Wouldn’t we all benefit greatly if we pried our eyes away from ourselves and entered each situation as humble, willing learners? These are slightly embarrassing confessions for a missionary, but I’m thankful for them because they have revealed areas in which I didn’t realize that I held to an identity outside of Christ. These things have caused me to see my sin and to turn my gaze from myself and my own accomplishments to Christ and His accomplishments in my stead. They have stripped me down. Left me lacking. Forced me to look to Him for my true identity. Counting the cost has become a near daily practice. If there’s any piece of advice that I would give about counting the cost of what the Lord calls you to, it would be to calculate into your counting the worthiness

of the Lord. The worthiness of the Lord will always, 100% of the time, tip the scale — no matter how much sacrifice you place on the other side of the scale. We tend to have a counting problem — one that assigns far too much value to our own sacrifices and far too little value to God’s infinite worthiness.

What are some ways living in a foreign country has pressed you into Jesus?

There’s a beggar boy outside my door right now looking for any leftover scraps we might have. Work is scarce. Moms are raising their kids alone. Husbands take additional wives, regardless of whether they can support another household or not. Preventable sicknesses are widespread. These are things I come face to face with every day and don’t know what to do or how to help. These things take me to my knees; asking that I would not become calloused to the physical needs around me, pleading for wisdom to know which need He would have me meet today — and then leaving the rest of them in His hands. In Jesus’ day, there were many people that followed Him because of the benefits they were getting: physical healing, fish and bread, the promise of a conquering king. You name it, they were there for it. Jesus had some hard words to say to them that caused many of them to turn away. Somehow Jesus’ instructions to “take up your cross” and “lose your life” aren’t what we wait in line for or what we push through crowds for so that we can place our names on the sign-up list. After many of His followers left, Jesus asked the twelve, “Do you want to go away as well?” I can’t tell you how often Peter’s response comes to my mind: “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life…” (Jn. 6:67–68 ESV).

There are lots of days when my tummy grumbles and rumbles and does extra somersaults. The weather is hot. I haven’t had ice cream or non-powdered milk for six months. (Okay, maybe that one’s not that bad.) My family, my church, and my friends are on another continent. The sixth person today just asked why I’m so old and still not married. I’ve got another fever from who-knows-what, and there’s a plate of extrachewy sheep stomach lining in front of me. Are these the moments that I’ll think, I didn’t sign up for this? Or are these the moments in which I will conclude that there is nowhere else to go except to Jesus? Will this drive me from Him in bitterness, or press me deeper into His abundance? Trials do not allow us to remain unaffected. May we not come to Jesus for a comfortable life, but to find our source, our all, and our satisfaction — of the eternal kind. This is what Paul found when he said he learned what it was to be content in all circumstances. (See Philippians 4:11.) He had learned to be sourced by the strength of Christ.

P R AY F O R E M I LY Will you join with us in taking a moment to pray for our set apart sister on the mission field? Pray that God's grace would be given to Emily as she follows Him, as she learns a new language, and as she responds faithfully to the opportunities God places before her. For His strength to uphold her and His Presence to delight her. And for God to bring many souls unto salvation through her given life unto Him.

hidden PART TWO

treasuring what god finds significant by

MAN DY SAE L E R

I hung up the phone, it signified that I’d hung up my running shoes. My heart pounded in my

chest like I’d finished a race, but in reality I’d only finished a phone conversation with my cross country coach. I’d rehearsed what I would say to him numerous times, but there still seemed to be no easy way of expressing that I had decided to step back from my fourth year of running. Especially when this was going to be the year. With the promising words of hope he’d spoken to me the previous season, I’d been training all summer in preparation to step into pre-season training with a strong stride. If my extra training paid off, rewarding success — in the form of my best times and the possibility of scholarships — would be on the horizon

R EA D HIDDEN , PART ON E O N L IN E AT S E TA P A R T G I R L . C O M / H I D D E N

of the coming years. The prospect excited me and gave flight to my dreams, bringing the anticipation of college plans within reach. The future was bright! But God, in His wisdom, interrupted my hopes and introduced my heart to the Living Hope that never fades. (See 1 Peter 1:3–5.) The prospect of life and eternity with Him outshone even the brightest of earthly accolades. And the only fitting response to His puruit of my heart seemed to be to wholeheartedly seek Him in return. As my spiritual life blossomed, I began to feel convicted that the things which claimed so much of my heart, thoughts, and time needed to be put away for the sake of focusing on spiritual things in this delicate and formative season of my soul. And it was for that reason that I dialed the phone and, with flushed cheeks and a trembling voice, told my coach I was hanging up my running shoes.

My hopes of striding side-by-side with our team’s leading runner disintegrated, the humming cross country calendar cleared, and I was suddenly on the sidelines. In some indistinct way, I felt hidden. Looking back, I feel that I now understand why God was leading me into this season of quietness. He wanted me hidden so He could have me in whole. My faithful God was claiming every corner of my heart and every fold of my inner fabric. As He led me into my first personal experience with obscurity, He was also revealing what it meant to be hidden in Christ. (See my article in Issue No. 30, Hidden: Experiencing Eden Through the Reality of the Cross for a detailed expression of what it means to be hidden in Christ.) Through that chapter of my life and several unique “hidden” seasons since, I’ve learned to trust God’s movements and to willingly follow Him into the hidden places. There, my heart has been trained to truly treasure that which is significant to God.

TRUS TI N G G O D I N YO UR H I DDE N P L ACE Have you ever been led into a hidden place? Or felt concealed in the mundane cycle of your daily life? Have you ever wondered if the work of your hands is making a difference or really even matters? Maybe you work in a dank office with a corded phone that is older than you sitting on your desk, and you feel like you’re at a dead end. Perhaps you still live in your tiny hometown where nothing has changed since 1952. Or maybe you feel limited to the walls of your own home as you serve your young family through endless food preparation and folding big baskets of tiny laundry. In varying seasons of our lives, we can find ourselves burdened by a feeling of obscurity. How much we miss when we wallow under the weight, rather than respond by turning our face toward the Lord. Take heart, my friend. When the feelings flood in, let the weight resting on your shoulders be a reminder to roll it off through surrender. Re-open your hands before God and reset the gaze of your heart upon Him. As we walk with God, we can rest assured that every season of our lives is named with heavenly purpose. Our God is not wasteful, and the intentions of His will are kind. As personally refining as the hidden seasons of our lives can be, through my own experience and the pattern I’ve seen in the lives of others (including those in Scripture), I can’t help but believe that these challenging seasons are divinely appointed to sharpen our soul and add to our spiritual strength.

strength 40

Every season of our lives is named with heavenly purpose.

Hidden for His purp ose

DAV ID' S HI DDEN PLAC E The Bible records the story of David the Psalmist who, as a young boy, was assigned to the fields to tend his father’s sheep. For a time, it seemed as though David would be secluded to the fields and flocks, far away from the fray of the battle where his brothers had gone. But it was the hidden fields — and not the battlefield — that God intended for David until the appointed time. Later, when David made his God-ordained debut on the battlefield, he recognized that shepherding in the fields had shaped his bravery, skill, and confidence in God. All of which prepared him for the showdown with Goliath. When King Saul diminished David’s ability to combat the giant, saying, “You are not able to go against this Philistine to fight with him; for you are a youth, and he a man of war from his youth” (1 Sam. 17:33), David confidently recalled his God’s faithfulness in the hidden places of his story. For when a lion and a bear had preyed upon his father’s sheep, he chased the creatures down and rescued the sheep, killing the offenders with his own hands. David contradicted King Saul’s diminishment with a boast in the might of his God, “The LORD, who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine” (1 Sam. 17:37). David’s time in the hidden fields was divinely purposed by God to endow him with the practical skills and spiritual confidence for the display of God’s faithfulness in the open fields. This stirring account in Scripture can serve to remind us that our obscurity is not a mystery to Him, but is appointed by Him. Friend, you can trust God with your hidden place. In due time, you will reap if you do not lose heart. You will see the goodness of your God! (See Galatians 6:9 and Psalm 27:13.)

they do it for Him. H ID DEN O NES

Are you willing to bear the hidden fields of preparation like David’s? And beyond the quiet

In her book Keep a Quiet Heart, Elisabeth Elliot

fields, are you willing to be one of God’s “hidden

introduces a remarkable English woman named

ones” like Dr. Powell? A hidden one who supports

Dr. May Powell. After meeting the “very cheerful

another’s vision and offers their very best, even if it

and direct” Dr. Powell over a cup of tea, Elisabeth

goes unacknowledged? A hidden one who serves in

Elliot remarked, “There wasn’t time for nearly all

a humble place, unrecognized and unappreciated

my questions, but in those hours I knew that I had

by the world at large?

been with a very great woman, one of God’s hidden ones whose strength lies in nothing explainable by personality or heredity, but in Him who is Rock, Fortress, and Might … whose distant song of

WHAT GOD F INDS SIGNIF ICA NT

triumph steals on our ears sometimes and makes our hearts brave again and our arms strong. Praise

When Elisabeth Elliot was writing Amy Carmichael’s

to God for such living flames of His love.”1

biography, A Chance to Die, she took a trip to India to explore Dohnavur. Although Amy was no longer

Dr. Powell served under Amy Carmichael’s leadership

alive and Dr. Powell had returned to England by

at Dohnavur, developing the medical aspects of the

that time, the work at the ministry compound had

ministry. When Amy was injured and became unable

continued. Meandering the grounds,

to fully carry out her duties as the ministry leader,

noticed a plaque in one of the buildings which

Dr. Powell stepped forward as Amy’s right hand and

read, “There they dwelt with the King for His work.”

became the co-leader of Dohnavur. After 27 years

As she pondered those words and considered

of faithful service, Dr. Powell was entrusted with

those who had offered the best years of their lives

leading the ministry when Amy died in 1951.

serving Him in this quiet place, she mused, “That’s

Elisabeth

the secret. They do it for Him. They ask for and Many of us have heard Amy Carmichael’s name

receive His grace to do it. I saw the joy in their

and know of her pure and powerful ministry. But

lovely faces.”2

how many of us have heard of the ordinary woman named May who was a pillar of strength for both

When I read those words, I knew I’d encountered a

Amy and Dohnavur? A woman who was rather

secret to embrace in my own heart amid my hidden

unoccupied with her status and title, apart from it

places … and to share with you in yours. Whether we

qualifying her to skillfully serve others. She poured

have been led into a hidden season or we simply feel

out years of her life at a small ministry compound

unseen, it is a kind thing that the Lord would lead us

for the sake of souls … because it mattered to Him.

into obscurity and require faithfulness of us there.

Dr. May Powell lived a life that treasured the things

that were significant to God. What a heart-stirring

Why? Because it is in the school of obscurity that

challenge for you and I!

we learn to treasure that which is significant to God.

1. Elisabeth Elliot, Keep a Quiet Heart (Grand Rapids: Revell, 1995), 128. 2. Elisabeth Elliot, Keep a Quiet Heart (Grand Rapids: Revell, 1995), 226.

a hidden one who serves in a humble place

Quiet

God places things of great significance in quiet places.

It is in the unseen places, doing the humdrum things, that our heart can be trained to live for His smile alone. In anonymity we discover the strength and joy of pouring out, truly as unto the Lord. And most rewardingly, it’s when we’re all alone that we discover how quietness is transformed into gloriousness when His presence fills it. God places things of great significance in quiet places. In perfect wisdom, God has perfectly placed you in your hidden place and me in mine. The intentions of His will are not only kind, but masterfully fitted for our eternal good. There is beauty to be discovered and grace to be imparted as we learn to dwell in our hidden places with our King. May we seek and receive His grace that it might be said, “There they dwelt with the King for His work”

A recommended inspirational "summer holiday" read: Keep a Quiet Heart by Elisabeth Elliot — such a heart-stirring and rich collection of writings. A favorite dish featuring in-season fruit or veggies: Caprese salad in all its summertime garden delightfulness!

A B I T M O R E A B O U T M A N DY

… and may those onlooking see His joy on our faces.

How you like to get moving in the summertime: Anything and everything! Hiking, biking, swimming, kayaking ... you name it, I'm game!

HE SAID, SHE SAID T H E I M P O R TA N C E O F C O M M U N I C AT I N G W I T H E X C E L L E N C E I N R O M A N T I C R E L AT I O N S H I P S

SA R A H M O C K LE R

The long-anticipated day arrived. For six weeks we had refrained from talking and texting with one another in order to seek the Lord’s heart without distraction, but that crisp fall day, a boy carrying a big bouquet knocked on my door and took me up, up, and away into the highest heights of the Rockies for the longest scenic drive probably known to man. For hours, we wound our way through sometimes snowy peaks to glimpse the last of the season’s glittering aspens and parked at a lodge for a romantic dinner with a crackling fire and linen napkins. The setting was like something out of National Geographic, and it set the tone for the adventure we were embarking upon. Majestic. Epic. Regal. The very next day, history repeated itself. Only this time, we ventured to a little college town and walked up and down the sidewalk streets where we were greeted by a community garden replete with rapturous color from waving dahlias, zinnias, and the last lingering roses of summer. Those first two dates were and always will be golden, and together they held more than twenty hours of conversation. Nate and I talked, and talked, and talked. And when we got to the end of those two outings and were separated by a week-long business trip of Nate’s, we said goodbye realizing there was still so much more to be said. Questions we hadn’t asked. Topics we hadn’t covered.

COMMUNICATION COUNTS Turning the clock back a few years, I found myself in

into a generation that doesn’t know how to engage

a different set of circumstances where a relationship

in God-honoring, in-person conversation.

didn’t turn out the way I had hoped or envisioned. And now that time has passed, I can distinctly see

Being a good communicator does not necessarily

the role that communication played in the outcome.

mean we use a ton of words. Sharing each and every

It goes without saying that relationships can be tricky

thought that pops into our head with someone is

to navigate and are not always as cut and dried as

unhealthy. Even those of us who are verbal processors

we might prefer. What we say, and conversely, what

need to learn the important principle of making Jesus

we don’t say can be tremendously helpful or harmful

our first turn — or pouring out our every thought to

in romantic relationships.

Jesus. And then, after we have done that, to listen for His still, small voice in what He would have us share

For example, two individuals can be excellent

with others. A wise communicator knows the weight

communicators and yet fail to communicate well in a

and value of words and seeks to speak only that

relationship. Or unhelpful factors like busyness, fear

which is fitting for the situation — or relationship — at

and insecurity, excessive digital communication, or

hand. (See Proverbs 29:11.)

too much physical interaction can blur the lines of communication and create poor reception on the

As those who are set apart for His glory, how we

giving or receiving end.

communicate in the area of romantic relationships will look different to the world around us. Jesus

As new heights of digital communication are scaled

communicated with truth, with compassion, and

and we become more and more conditioned

with honor while He walked this earth. And as His

to communicate through means of TikTok and

followers, He instructs us to do the same.

texting rather than via thoughtful, face-to-face interaction, I find that the majority of couples I

I’m desirous to grow in Christlike communication …

see enjoying dinner out, taking in a sunset walk,

not to be an excellent public speaker, but simply so

or vacationing have their

that I can love others well. By

noses in their phones or

nature, I would not call myself

carry on entire conversations centered

solely

around

gifted

conversationalist,

but Scripture plainly states

what is happening on their

ENABLE US BY HIS

device, rather than what is

EQUIPPING POWER TO

be with grace, seasoned

happening within their heart

H AV E G R A C E - B A S E D

with salt…” (Col. 4:6). No

and soul. Pairing that with

SPEECH.

matter what our level of skill

the social paralyzation that

GOD CAN

that our speech is to “always

may be, the reality is that

resulted from the isolation

God can enable us by His

caused

equipping power to have

COVID-19,

our generation has been further crippled in the

grace-based speech. In fact, it is God’s amazing

communication department. We are deteriorating

grace that bridges the gap between our natural

love others well 51

ability and His endless capacity to make up for any

Reflecting upon those beautiful autumn days of our

lack we may have!

newly unfolding relationship, I realized some of the sweetest moments were found in the conversations

Taking what the Lord taught me through my previous

we shared — the unity that was established when

experience, I sought to communicate with the best

sharing our perspectives, the bond that was forged

of intentions with Nate, and it only blessed and

with each goodnight at my doorstep, the harmony

benefited us both. First, we invested a season of

that resulted from hard conversations, and the deep

talking the possibility over with the Lord — to seek

friendship that bloomed between us all resulted

His wisdom of pursuing a relationship in the first

in much “sweetness to the soul and health to the

place, as well as sense where He was leading our

bones” (Prov. 16:24b).

individual lives. Eventually that season of seeking the Lord opened to include spending quality time

On the next page I’ve included some starting points

with one another.

and practices that you can begin incorporating at any season of your life. Whether you’re waiting to

As our relationship progressed, we realized how

begin a relationship but wanting to prepare well,

important it was to communicate clearly, frequently,

or you have a ring on your finger and the date is

and excellently in our relationship throughout its

set for the “big day,” my prayer is that these super-

various stages of growth in order to discern if the

practical ideas will aid you in sharing your heart with

Lord was moving our relationship forward and so

those whom the Lord places in your path.

that we might truly see if this was the person for whom we had long prayed for! We found that clear communication created a clear path through which to enjoy what God was weaving between us and carried us forward to covenant. Communication counts.

SOME OF THE SWEETEST MOMENTS WERE FOUND IN T H E C O N V E R S AT I O N S WE SHARED.

fine points for

EXCELLING IN COMMUNICATION Whether you're single, in a relationship, or heading into marriage!

IT'S JUST ME •

Seek the Lord on His shape and vision for your life. Write down what you believe the Lord is calling you to do so that you can confidently share with others who inquire.

•

Practice the art of communicating with excellence in the relationships you do have: siblings who try your patience, your mentor who just asked that very honest question, your boss who comes from a different walk of life, etc.

•

Evaluate your main streams of communication. Are you a heavy texter? Do you avoid written communication? Shy away from in-person confrontation? Purpose not to fall back on your default, and instead, ask for God’s grace to say hard things with winsome warmth and genuine care.

•

Learn the basics of good oral communication. Look people in the eye. Smile warmly. Get the “ums” and “likes” out of your everyday speech. This will help you remove verbal clutter and aid you in carrying on a conversation clearly and without distraction.

•

Seek opportunities to stretch yourself to share. (E.g., opening up in a small group, writing a note to someone you don’t know well, introducing yourself to others who are in a different life stage or season than you, etc.)

•

Predetermine relationship non-negotiables. Write them down, ask God to further shape your convictions, and share them with a trusted parent or mentor with whom you envision holding yourself accountable to if you were in a relationship.

•

Focus on being a woman of content. Meditate on the Lord. Think about who God is and what you believe. Scripture says, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things” (Matt. 12:35). What kind of treasure do you have? 53

JUST FRIENDS •

Work on being “just friends” by cultivating a welcoming and warm demeanor that is kind and appropriate whether you are talking to guy or girl friends.

•

Use group settings to your advantage to communicate about topics that truly matter. Steer conversation with a thought-provoking question rather than sticking to subjects like the weather and work. Develop questions that will take conversation deeper like, “What has God grown in you this year?” Or, “How has the Lord been answering prayer in your life?”

•

Be watchful about your level of one-on-one communication with guy friends without knowing a guy’s true intentions.

•

Prayerfully evaluate if/how you should be texting the guy you are interested in and make sure there is not a hidden motive residing in your heart to manipulate your circumstances.

•

Talk with guy friends with the aim of evaluating their character and content. Ask yourself the question, “Does this guy have the depth to lead a conversation, a friendship, a group of peers, etc.?”

SOMETHING MORE •

Come prepared to each date with a question or two that you could ask if there is a lull in conversation.

•

Discover the other person’s communication style. (E.g., is he a verbal processor or no? Does he take a long time to formulate thoughts or does he arrive at a conclusion quickly? Does he receive information better via bullet-point or paragraph-style language? Is he metaphorical or intensely literal?)

•

Discover what the other person’s love language is — you don’t necessarily have to take a test. Rather, prayerfully seek what is important to him in conversation and seek to communicate in the style that he receives best.

•

Lay aside distractions when you’re together. (E.g., put your phone or smartwatch on silent; take a few minutes to clear your head after work and before spending time together.)

•

Establish key conversations that need to be discussed: everything from things you are willing to agree to disagree on as well as hills you are willing to die on for the Lord. Consider topics like: vision for the future, marital roles, familial roles, marriage and ministry, missions, etc.

establish key conversations

•

Journal hallmarking moments in your relationship as they unfold — what memorial stones do you want to reflect upon and remember? In what ways have you seen God’s faithfulness on the pages of your relationship?

•

Reserve sacred words for sacred moments. Don’t haphazardly or prematurely communicate before the right time (e.g., when should you say, “I love you”?).

GETTING MARRIED •

Place emphasis on praying together regularly. There should be no shortage of topics that you can pray for and over in this season!

•

Aim to clothe conversation with honor when discussing sensitive topics that pertain to intimacy. It is helpful to communicate with honorable and veiled language.

•

Seek to communicate verbally more than you do physically. A God-glorifying restraint on physical interaction will aid you in cultivating spiritual unity and help you navigate discussions without confusion.

•

Be intentional when writing your marriage vows. Think about what you are really saying and what Scripture says about covenant.

•

Discuss expectations you have for different and clean? What does quiet time look like after you’re married?).

•

Share about what is important to both of you as you plan your wedding ceremony and reception.

•

Rehearse God’s faithfulness together if you come up against stressful wedding-planning moments.

•

Talk openly about how to best enjoy your honeymoon. Knowing how you both vacation (e.g., whether you prefer rest and relaxation or activity-driven adventures) can be extremely helpful!

A purse essential you always carry: Creamy lipstick in a classic shade helps keep me polished. A recommended inspirational "summer holiday" read: Sometimes in summer, I switch up my nonfiction routine (which I love!) to include a heart-stirring, thought-provoking fictional read. If you haven't read Catherine Marshall's classic, Christy, you are missing out. A way to sow kindness in the lives of loved ones: Treat them to a refreshing coffeeshop drink and write a note on the cup.

A BIT MORE ABOUT SARAH

practical aspects of marriage (e.g., who will cook

If the words of the Lord are likened to silver being refined seven times until they shine with brilliant purity and radiant holiness, it is encouraging to know that we can draw near to the Word Himself and invite the Holy Spirit to shape our speech to fit and fill each conversation. (See Psalm 12:6.) Let’s press in and press on to share words in due season and joyfully invest in the relationships that grace our lives!

Rehearse God's faithfulness together.

Come visit our online living room. LESLIE'S PODCAST SET APART MAGAZINE ONLINE ARTICLES DEVOTIONALS BIBLE STUDY Q&A

and

ONLINE MENTORING

with Leslie Ludy W W W. S E TA PA R TG I R L . C O M

Resources to encourage you in your set apart journey with Christ!

Visit www.setapartgirl.com to start enjoying these life-giving resources!

REST REPRIEVE SUNSHINE ADVENTURES HAPPINESS KINDNESS SHARING HARMONY D E L AY S S O G G Y W E AT H E R LONG LINES SORE FEET TIRED KIDS STICKY MESSES FUSSINESS F R U S T R AT I O N SELFISHNESS EXHAUSTION DISAPPOINTMENT SURRENDER SERVICE GRACE LOVE J OY

Great (Vacation) Expectations REMAINING CHRIST-FOCUSED IN SEASONS OF REST

H E AT H E R COF E R

was awakened from slumber by the sound of my alarm. 6:30 AM already? Opening my eyes, I took in the scene around me. A Caribbean-themed hotel room, four kiddos, and my husband … all still slumbering. I could see

the silhouettes of swaying palm trees in the still-dim light. We’d arrived in Florida in the wee hours of the morning to enjoy the long-awaited Christmas gift we’d given to our kiddos — a trip to an exciting theme park. Although my mind was excited, my pregnant body was feeling less enthusiastic. I could already imagine the exhaustion that would claim me by the end of the week. This wasn’t going to be a lie-around-and-sip-juice-by-the-pool sort of getaway. It was going to require much of me both physically and mentally as we adventured mile after mile with four children, a stroller, snacks, and trinkets in tow. There was most certainly temptation to grumble about it. But as I lay there, my mind went to other family trips when my expectations for rest and reprieve from all the “normal” aspects of motherhood had been sorely disappointed. I’d spent much of those trips fighting grumpiness and frustration, many days ending in tears. But I was determined that this vacation would be different. “Lord, help me to have a heart of service toward my family. Help me to be outward-focused rather than inward-focused. Help me to love my children and have an attitude of joy.”

This grace-empowered decision at the outset of our trip made all the difference. Even soggy weather, sore feet, tired children, sticky messes, and long lines didn’t dampen my spirits as I remembered my commitment to allow love — instead of selfishness — to be my driving motive. When we returned home, my heart was full with much delight and little regret.

VA C AT I O N I N G F R O M SELFISHNESS With summer in full swing, we often indulge in rest and relaxation after a stretch of long work days, stressful situations, the completion of a school year (for ourselves or our kids), or just the same mundane tasks day after day. As good as seasons of R&R, vacations, or the “jolly holidays” may be, they also present a prime opportunity for self-centered tendencies to rise up within us. Oftentimes we get an idea in our minds for what we want our seasons of rest to look like, and when those expectations aren’t met, we find ourselves discontent and disillusioned. The root of the problem is that we believe our world should revolve around us. We might not say it this bluntly, but ultimately we believe that what is best for us … is best period. The reality is that because of sin, we’re all naturally wired this way. It’s only by the grace of God that we can adopt His mindset and live in a way that demonstrates His servant-hearted love to those around us. In Mark 10, Jesus’ disciples are arguing about who is the greatest among them. Just as the emotional temperatures are rising, Jesus steps in and sets the record straight. He says to them, “...whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come

to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:43–45 ESV). Jesus is the ultimate example of servant-hearted love in action. Jesus Christ, the King of kings and Lord of lords, came to this earth to lay down His very life for us. And He calls us as His followers to live this way, too. Philippians 2:3–5 says, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus” (NASB). The Bible gives no caveats for selfish behavior or justifications when we’re on vacation. Does this mean rest, fun, and relaxation are wrong? No. We should receive and enjoy them with gratitude! But it does mean we should hold these gifts with an open hand, willing to lay them aside when necessary. It will be hard (sometimes very hard), but loving sacrifice to honor God and those around us will be rewarded beyond what we can measure as we choose eternally lasting “treasures in Heaven” above the fleeting holidays we experience in this world. What are some practical steps we can take to cultivate a servant’s heart even as we enjoy rest and relaxation? Here are three things to remember as you make fun plans for this summer!

1. Remember that Jesus is Our True Rest Jesus says in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (ESV).

Rest for the body and mind is good and healthy. But we must remember that the ultimate rest we need is found in Jesus. He gives us rest in our very souls, something physical rest can never accomplish. In Christ we find rest from worry, from striving, from self-seeking, from perfectionism, and from unmet expectations. When we rest first in Christ, we can receive everything from naps to busy vacations with far greater joy, knowing that God is the giver of these good gifts. And when we are asked to lay aside our own desires, and even needs, for the sake of loving others, we can do so with joy knowing that Jesus will take care of us as we serve others in His name.

2. Remember that We are Christians at All Times 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (ESV). There is never a circumstance when we as Christians are let off the hook from being Christians. Every facet of our lives should be lived to the glory of God. When we justify putting ourselves first in the name of “self-care,” or when we defend frustration when our expectations aren’t met, or when we excuse entitlement because we feel like we’re “all served out,” we are showing those around us that we don’t truly believe that being followers of Jesus changes everything. Pray and ask God to help you remember to represent Him well in this world — even on vacation. That might be choosing to stay behind to care for the little kids so others can do an activity. It might mean taking the extra time to thank the lady cleaning the bathroom. It might mean exchanging vacation plans for “staycation” plans for the sake of being able to give to a need that suddenly

Rest T H E U LT I M AT E R E S T

WE NEED IS FOUND

IN JESUS.

HE GIVES US REST IN OUR VERY SOULS, SOMETHING PHYSICAL REST CAN NEVER ACCOMPLISH.

The Lord knows what we need, when we need it.

arises. Whatever it may entail, may the Lord grant us the ability to keep our eyes wide open to the opportunities all around us to live out His life in us.

3. Remember that Service Brings Joy No one debates the reality that sacrificing in the moment can be difficult. But when our eyes are fixed on Jesus and the eternal joy that awaits us, it makes the momentary sacrifices worth every second. Hebrews 12:2 says that Jesus endured the Cross because of “the joy that was set before Him.” The Cross itself wasn’t joyful. It was the most excruciating event in all of history. Yet Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice because He knew there was joy on the other side, which made it all worth it. And He did it for us. When we dwell on this mind-blowing sacrifice made on our behalf, the sacrifices we are called to make in we remember that our small sacrifices here and now are to point back to Jesus and His love toward us, we’ll delight in being used as an arrow that says, “Look how incredible my Savior is!” No act of service will seem too great when the gaze of our heart is firmly fixed on Jesus. Everything we do will become an outflow of our love and gratitude toward Him.

... I’m so grateful we can trust that the Lord knows what we need, when we need it. He knows when it’s time for us to serve and pour out, and He knows when it’s time for us to “come away … and rest a while” (Mark 6:31 ESV). Whether we’re wiping ice cream off a child’s chin during vacation or sipping lemonade on our back porch, He will give us the grace to live every moment for His glory as we stay close to Him.

A recommended inspirational "summer holiday" read: Can it get any better than sipping fresh lemonade with one of the Anne of Green Gables books in hand? Rainbow Valley (book seven) would be especially fitting for summertime. A way to sow kindness in the lives of loved ones: We've been shown such kindness from neighbors who share abundantly with us from their garden. It inspires us to think about ways we can likewise give from what God has provided for us.

A B I T M O R E A B O U T H E AT H E R

His name seem incredibly minute in comparison. When

A favorite dish featuring in-season fruit or veggies: Mixed berry cobbler with whipped cream is a favorite in the Cofer household. 67

with love CO LU M N

Encouragement THE MINISTRY OF

by A NNI E W E S C HE

xhausted in body and aching in my soul,

ways for me came through the reoccurring, gentle

I yearned for the smallest measure of

“ding” on my phone, announcing a text message.

reprieve from the intensity our family was walking

Even before I would open up the text, my spirit would

through. My beloved mum was enduring a difficult

lift by the simple reminder that our family was present

battle with brain cancer and the aftermath of a stroke,

in the heart of another. We were not walking through

and for several long months we all felt pressed and

this trial alone. Our battle was not forgotten.

stretched on every side. My dear friend, Mandy, was especially faithful to Though we were uncertain of what the outcome would

text encouragement throughout the course of those

be with her health, the Lord was undeniably present

deeply trying months. Her messages often began

and intimately known to us as we held tightly to Him.

with God’s Word — giving me a reminder of the Rock

Taking a day at a time, under the great demands each

beneath my feet that I could confidently stand upon:

one held, we leaned into His faithfulness. My mum was enduring the greatest suffering, but I was walking through my own unique valley at her side. I was physically exhausted from giving aroundthe-clock care, mentally overwhelmed managing all her needs and medical appointments, and in emotional agony over watching my precious mum suffer … and at the thought of losing her. The aching heaviness drew me many times into my room where I would shut the door, fall to my knees, and release my tears in God’s presence. True to His promise, He was the God of All Comfort.

"I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." "Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!" (Ps. 27:13-14) "The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms..." (Deut. 33:27)

(See 2 Corinthians 1:3.) Even when the suffering didn’t lift and the future remained uncertain, I found peace after freshly laying my burdens in His care and

My heart steadied on His Word.

looking once more at His great love and goodness. Again and again, I would enter prayer with my fears,

Soon another “ding” would sound, this time with a

worries, and heartaches, and then rise up from my

personal message from Mandy encouraging me to

knees with renewed assurance that He was with us

hold fast to the Lord:

and for us in the midst of it all. But in addition to the very real comfort found in prayer, there was another element of grace that God used to beautifully minister to me in that valley season: the encouragement of the Body of Christ rallying alongside our family. One of the most significant

Annie, remember just in this past week how the Lord has tenderly guided you … as you waited upon Him, resting your faith and courage in Him … He strengthened your heart.

God is WITH you, dear friend, and His perfect

Climb to that high place of truth, dear friend,

love is surrounding and leading you. You are

and don’t make an inch of descent. Cling to

His beloved, hemmed in with tender care and

those Words of promise. Hold afresh to His

His watchful eye upon you. You are in that safe

faithfulness. This is the Rock that is HIGHER

place — IN Christ.

… higher than the flood waters threatening to overcome.

And what’s more, your mum is in that safe place — IN Christ. No matter what the circumstances boast … no matter the physical issues she is experiencing in her body … she is HELD and KEPT in the kind-hearted and fierce love of God. NOTHING can touch her that He doesn’t permit — she is covered in the power of His great love, safe and secure.

Her texts continued that day … and many days thereafter. Her sincere heart to share in our suffering was a comfort and an expression of God’s love. And the timely truth she reminded me of was powerfully encouraging. She was living out how we, as the Church, are called to “bear one another’s burdens” (Gal. 6:2) and “encourage one another and build one another up” (1 Thes. 5:11). Mandy’s words

Her words ministered to me in the midst of my

were “as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to

weariness. As my eyes blurred with tears, I meditated

those who hear” (Eph. 4:29 ESV). Another version

on this life-giving truth and freshly worshipped God

says, “according to the need” — what a beautiful

for His faithful love over each of us.

picture of encouragement that flows out of wisdom, discerning the needs of the present circumstances.

Ding. Wiping my eyes so I could see, I opened the next message:

Mandy’s words brought hope, and they built me up whenever I was growing heavy and weary. Though she was many miles away, it was just as if she had

“When my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” (Ps. 61:2) Do you remember on our frequent drives to the mountains, how at a certain point as we drive through a small, populated area, there is a sign that says, “In case of flooding, climb to safety”? When floods come (or when the enemy comes in like a flood!) we climb to safety (lead me to the rock that is higher than I). The rock we climb to for safety? The LORD is my rock, my fortress, my deliverer (Psalm 19).

put her arm around me and walked with me to the high ground, to stand upon the Rock that was far above our family’s circumstances, so I could feel the refreshing breeze of God’s peace and see with eternal perspective above the storm. Our present trials did not disappear, but the words of encouragement from Mandy and countless others were like a strong embrace from the heart of God and like rays of sunlight streaming into our darkened valley. Their encouragement was life-giving, strengthening, and steadying as we continued to walk through what God had sovereignly and lovingly allowed.

ask the One who knows I know that it was because of Mandy’s daily walk with Jesus, her time in His Word, and her attentive response to His Spirit’s leading that her encouragement was so effective in ministering comfort, hope, and courage to

Perhaps you have had times of genuinely desiring to encourage someone, but your words were not wellreceived. And perhaps you’ve had moments where you were at a complete loss in knowing what to say to someone in challenging circumstances. I have been there as well. But we can be confident that if His Word has called us to encourage one another, we can — by His enabling — grow in the grace, wisdom, and discernment to do it well. As we walk closely with Christ, He is the very resource we need to be a great encourager! And as we see the opportunity to encourage someone, may we look first to the One who knows what is needful and ask Him for the right words that will effectively build up, bring life, and give hope in Him. What a truly beautiful opportunity He has shared with us — to be encouragers in His name and to lift up the life of another.

with love, Annie

A favorite dish featuring in-season fruit or veggies: Simple as can be, I love having a bowl of cut up, juicy watermelon always chilling in the fridge. It's a great way to hydrate and cool down after working in the yard or playing in the summer heat. A recommended inspirational "summer holiday" read: Diving into true and epic adventures of faith — The Little Woman by Gladys Aylward or The Cross and the Switchblade by David Wilkerson are two of my favorites!

A BIT MORE ABOUT ANNIE

my heart in that deep valley season.

A way to sow kindness into the lives of loved ones: I try to observe their routines and preferences, and then look for little ways to serve and bless them in those things.

Ways to

Brighten

the mundane

IN HONOR OF ISSUE 35:

Creative ideas for refreshing "everyday" things

Brighten

things at Home

Open up the windows in the morning and let in the fresh air.

Give extra intentionality to making your bed.

Line-dry your laundry in the bright sunshine.

Rearrange the furniture in your home for a fresh perspective.

Spruce up your front entryway or doorstep.

Pick up fresh flowers to brighten a space.

Set the table, using nice dishes and cloth napkins.

Learn how to make your favorite coffee shop drink at home.

Listen to a newly recommended podcast while doing house projects.

10. Reorganize your closet, clearing away what's no longer used or needed. 11. Light a candle or turn on an essential oil diffuser for evening atmosphere.

Refresh

your Routines

12. Listen through the Psalms on audio while getting ready. 13. Turn off social media notifications for a day. 14. Do something new with your hair you normally wouldn't take time to try. 15. Build some new music playlists for fresh background inspiration. 16. Break up your day with an invigorating bike ride. 17. Switch up your phone or desktop wallpapers. 18. Bring a special treat for the breakroom at work. 19. Incorporate a ten-minute tidy up into your daily flow.

Enjoy Life

with Others

20. Give a friendly smile to those you walk past. 21. Eat lunch outside, and invite a co-worker to join you. 22. Encourage five people by way of text. 23. Devote your Saturday to serve at a local charity or within your church body. 24. Invite a friend to explore some new shops around town. 25. Plan a good old-fashioned picnic on a Sunday afternoon. 26. Schedule time this week with someone at church you'd like to get to know. 27. Exchange books with a friend to freshen up your reading list.

Revive

your Soul

28. Practice being expectant in what God will do each day! 29. Open up a hymnal in your quiet time and reflect on the words. 30. See how many blessings you can count in your day. 31. Write out a verse on a 3x5 card, and then read and review it throughout the day. 32. Take five minutes to step outside, feel the sunshine, and behold God's creation. 33. Hop in the car and go for a scenic drive. 34. Remind yourself of what it means to be IN Christ. 35. Remember the gift of each day and the goodness of your Heavenly Father.

"The Lord is good to all, and His tender mercies are over all His works ...My mouth shall speak the praise of the Lord." PSA LM 145:9, 21

In His Presence 76

Ten Things that Hinder Prayer by N R JO H N S O N

screamed with all my might. Turning the other

For example, in Acts 16, Paul and his companions

direction, I allowed the intensity of my voice to

came to Philippi, and on the Sabbath they went

bellow forth. And then … I started to laugh.

outside the city to the river, “where we were supposing that there would be a place of prayer

I was standing in a soundproof room and trying to get

[proseuchē]; and we sat down and began speaking

even a squeak to sneak outside the walls. Nothing.

to the women who had assembled” (16:13, emphasis

No amount of yelling, screaming, or pounding on

added; also see 16:16*).

walls could be heard from the other side. I was totally sealed off. Thankfully I wasn’t trapped and

We see the same idea in Matthew 21:12–13 when

soon left the room laughing at the experience.

Jesus calls the temple in Jerusalem a “house of prayer” — the temple was the dwelling place where

While I’m glad we don’t have soundproof lives, many of us think our prayers are stuck in an air-tight, noisecanceling environment. No amount of pleading, yelling, or tears seems to make a difference. We cry out, but God can’t seem to hear us.

prayer happened. Mark’s gospel gives additional insight when Jesus said, “Is it not written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer for all the nations’? But you have made it a robbers’ den” (Mark 11:17, emphasis added). Take the concept and apply it to your life. Paul

THE PLACE OF PRAYER

reminds us in 1 Corinthians 3:16 and 6:19–20 that

Throughout Scripture, there are a variety of words

which means we are to be a place of prayer. Just as

translated as “prayer.” In the New Testament, one

the primary activities in the temple were sacrifices

of the main words used is proseuchē, which not only

we are the temple (the dwelling place) of God —

and prayer, so our lives should be a living and holy

means speaking to or making requests of God, but

sacrifice to God that is marked by continual prayer.

also means a place of prayer.

(See Romans 12:1–2, Ephesians 6:18, Colossians 4:2, and 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18.)

* All Scripture references, unless otherwise notated, are from the NASB95 version.

We all know that prayer is important. And if we were to be truthful, many of us probably feel guilty for not praying more. But prayer is hard work — it takes time, effort, energy, and a lot of focus. Sure, we can mumble a prayer before a meal or bedtime, but true prayer is a labor. And for many believers, prayer feels like speaking in a soundproof room where nothing gets beyond the walls. While we all have seasons where we don’t feel effective or powerful in our praying, one reason for this is that we may be hindering prayer itself. If we desire to become a place of prayer, then we must allow the Holy Spirit to illumine, convict, and transform anything in our lives that Scripture says impedes prayer. Let me introduce you to ten things that the Bible says will obstruct our prayers:

In His Presence Ten Things that obstruct Prayer 1 . N O T P R AY I N G A C C O R D I N G TO GOD'S WILL When we pray, we must pray in alignment with God’s nature, will, and purpose on the earth. This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. 1 John 5:14

2 . P R AY I N G F R O M S E L F I S H O R LUSTFUL MOTIVES We must pray with purity of heart and with proper motives. You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures. James 4:3

3 . T RY I N G T O I M P R E S S A N D B E HEARD BY OTHERS Public prayer is good and important, but who are we praying for? Are we praying to look spiritual and competent to those around us, or are we genuinely seeking and talking to God? When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words. So do not be like them; for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him. Matthew 6:5–8

4 . P R AY I N G W I T H D O U B T, U N B E L I E F, A N D T I M I D I T Y

Or, as John Bunyan once put it, “Prayer will make a man cease from sin, or sin will entice a man to cease

When we pray, we must do so with faith and confidence in God.

from prayer.”2 So when you spread out your hands in prayer,

And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive. Matthew 21:22

I will hide My eyes from you; yes, even though you multiply prayers, I will not listen. Your hands are covered with blood. Wash yourselves, make

But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord. James 1:6–7

yourselves clean; remove the evil of your deeds from My sight. Cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, reprove the ruthless, defend the orphan, plead for the widow. Isaiah 1:15–17 But your iniquities have made a separation between

Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16

you and your God, and your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear. Isaiah 59:2 If I regard wickedness in my heart, the Lord will not hear; but certainly God has heard; He has given heed to the voice of my prayer. Psalm 66:18–19

5. LIVING IN SIN AND DISOBEDIENCE

He who turns away his ear from listening to the law,

As Leonard Ravenhill often said, “A sinning man will

even his prayer is an abomination. Proverbs 28:9

stop praying, and a praying man will stop sinning.”

with faith and confidence

1. Leonard Ravenhill, Why Revival Tarries (Minneapolis: Bethany House, 2004), 26. 2 John Bunyan, A Puritan Golden Treasury (East Peoria: Banner of Truth Trust, 2017), 211.

In His Presence ...The one who practices sin is of the devil; for the

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives

devil has sinned from the beginning. The Son of God

in an understanding way, as with someone weaker,

appeared for this purpose, to destroy the works of

since she is a woman; and show her honor as a

the devil. No one who is born of God practices sin,

fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers

because His seed abides in him; and he cannot sin,

will not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7

because he is born of God. 1 John 3:8–9 He who shuts his ear to the cry of the poor will also …And whatever we ask we receive from Him,

cry himself and not be answered. Proverbs 21:13

because we keep His commandments and do the things that are pleasing in His sight. 1 John 3:22

7. NOT ABIDING IN CHRIST The core of Christianity is our abiding relationship

6. LIVING WITH A LACK OF H E AV E N LY H O N O R

with Jesus. If we desire to be places of prayer, we must continually live and pray from our position

Our lives should reflect the honor and reality of Heaven — living in such a way that showcases Christ and His life, will, and love to the world around us.

IN Christ. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. John 15:7

We must Continually live and pray from our position In Christ. 81

In His Presence 8. HARBORING UNFORGIVENESS AND BITTERNESS AGAINST OTHERS As a pure and undefiled temple, we cannot have unforgiveness residing within our walls. And Scripture is clear that the extent of our forgiveness is to be extravagant — we are called to forgive others in the same manner God forgives us and not allow a root of bitterness to grow up in our lives. (See Ephesians 4:32 and Hebrews 12:15.) Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions. Mark 11:25

Our prayers Won't be Heard if we Don't actually pray.

9 . P R AY I N G I N O U R O W N A U T H O R I T Y R AT H E R T H A N I N JESUS'

Truly, truly, I say to you, if you ask the Father

In the Bible, someone’s name was representative of

1 0 . N O T P R AY I N G

their character, nature, and authority. When we pray,

for anything in My name, He will give it to you. John 16:23b

we must not stand in our own “name” or authority

It’s rather obvious, but our prayers won’t be heard if

(i.e., in our own power and strength); instead, we

we don’t actually pray.

are to pray according to the authority, character, and nature of Christ. We pray in the Name of Jesus, for

You do not have because you do not ask. James 4:2b

He is our only access unto the Father. Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you Therefore He is able also to save forever those who

will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For

draw near to God through Him, since He always

everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks

lives to make intercession for them. Hebrews 7:25

finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Matthew 7:7–8

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.” John 14:6

Go Deeper Our lives, like the temple, are places of prayer. And just as Jesus was zealous over His house and drove out everything that did not belong, so we must allow Him to remove and transform anything that hinders or obscures prayer in our lives. (See John 2:13–17.) I encourage you to spend time quietly before the Lord and walk through the ten things previously mentioned that hinder prayer. Is there anything in your life that needs to be changed? If so, confess it and freshly surrender your life to Christ. Remember, it is only the prayer of a righteous person that is effective, powerful, and can accomplish much. (See James 5:16.) Let us allow the Spirit of the Lord to do whatever is necessary in our lives to make us holy habitations of prayer and not a soundproof room of silence.

A place for intentional Christians who want to discover and experience a passionate love for God and His Word so they can grow in their faith, live victorious lives, share the Gospel boldly, deepen their intimacy with Jesus, and transform the world through the indwelling life of Christ.

DEEPERCHRISTIAN.COM

Every experience God gives us, every person He puts in our lives is the perfect preparation for the future that only He can see.

Corrie ten Boom

W W W. S E TA PA R T G I R L . C O M SUGGESTED RETAIL: $24.95

A publication from bestselling author Leslie Ludy B I B L I C A L I N S P I R AT I O N F O R B E C O M I N G A C H R I S T- C E N T E R E D W O M A N