Rugrat ramblings

Not All Viruses Are Created Equal How a six-month old is navigating LDC (Life During Coronavirus)

There’s something in the air of late. Something different. I’m not talking about the flying lambs in waistcoats that circle ‘round and ‘round above my crib - they’re hilarious by the way. Where do they think they’re going and are they actually ever going to get there? Not at that pace and not if they refuse to change direction at some point. They’re truly a laugh a minute. But I digress. No, I’m talking about this Coronavirus that was not even really a thing when I arrived via a bolt of lightning six months ago. Now suddenly, it’s like, a big deal. A huge deal. And people have started acting really, really... strange.

Firstly, the face area. Human mouths to be precise. Where they at? It appears to me that many - not all - but many mouths have now been replaced by another kind of mouth. One that can’t open or close or eat or make kissy faces at me at the bus stop. You can’t tell if these new but not at all improved mouths are happy or sad or tired. In the supermarkets now, all I see from prime position in my carrier are queues and queues of expressionless faces. I miss grinning mouths and crooked teeth. I miss the lady at the café sneakily poking her tongue out at me while mummy faces the other way. Since these new mouths arrived, people don’t seem as cheerful anymore and it hurts my heart, just a little bit.

Secondly there’s this new thing happening with hands. Now, I love mine. I could look at them all day long so I sort of understand the fascination. Hands and fingers are equally brilliant. But this is different. These days they must always be clean. Clean, clean, clean. Wash for at least twenty seconds and then rub them together with a dollop of magic lotion. After the MTR, after the supermarket, after I’m caught in the act rubbing my chubby little hands all over the bus railings. I’m sorry, but why would they

Thoughts and perceptions from the mind of an expat baby

make them bright yellow and then expect small people like me not to reach out and grab at them? Ludicrous.

Next, it’s the panic. In the supermarkets to be specific. “In and out” my mum and dad used to say. We would grab what we needed and not be in there for too long. These days it’s a whole different game. We have to get there early, right about the time when I would usually be rolling around on the floor with my toys, so that we can make sure we stock up on toilet paper for them and baby wipes for me. Sometimes, we miss out and mummy worries that we won’t have enough wipes to keep me fresh and clean. I have spoken about the energy around me before and how magically, feelings can get passed on to me without me knowing why. It’s hard to explain because it’s just a feeling, but when mummy and daddy worry – I worry too.

Then lastly, the home lockdown. I used to get to go out on boats and trains and buses and just stare out the window at so many new and exciting things. But we don’t really get to do that anymore. Sometimes when I am at home I make a really loud squawking noise – it’s all I can do to tell them that I want to go out but they just don’t seem to understand. Or maybe they do

understand, but it’s the virus that’s keeping us locked away.

Mummy and daddy always say that they are thankful for me

because no matter what happens I keep their spirits up and make them smile when they are worried or down. I can see that, because at home they wear their normal mouths and they smile a lot when I’m around. They smile when I wake up, when I roll from back to front and front to back, when I look confused, when I jump in the bouncer, even when I accidentally bottom burp really loud. I tell you what, these people are very easily entertained. But what they don’t realise is that they do the same for me. When they clean my hands after a bus trip, when they buy my baby wipes and even when they keep me inside so that I am safe. I haven’t been on this planet long, but what I make of this is if we help each other out and keep each other’s spirits up in this world, we can get through anything. In my opinion, there is one virus worth catching right now - a crazy little thing called love - and if you’re lucky you’ll catch it too.