1 minute read
Sibling rivalries
PERFECT PARENTING
Marie Marchand on combating sibling rivalries
Advertisement
Marie Marchand’s children, who have remained close as brothers and friends as they’ve grown older
As principal and parenting consultant at City Kids preschool and a parent of three grown children, Marie Marchand has plenty of experience with sibling relationships. She shares her tips.
What factors should parents be aware of that may contribute to jealousy or tension between siblings?
• The order in which the children are born, their age gap and gender • The temperament of everyone (a sensitive child in the same family as one that is not so sensitive can cause issues) • Comparing children, ignoring the feelings of a child, blaming a child for everything
Should you prevent sibling conflict or is it a part of the development process?
I believe that you should train children on how best to deal with conflicts when they are young and guide them through the process as they grow older. Encourage them with positive feedback, teach them how to listen to each other, help them brainstorm ideas to deal with their issues, teach them to negotiate and make compromises. After all this, let them deal with the conflicts and work it out positively.
How do you encourage siblings to get along?
• Connect with each child individually. Be 100 percent present for example, reading a book together, playing a
game, going for a walk and tucking them into bed. • Recognise each child’s individuality and celebrate it. • Avoid labels and judgmental comparisons for example; “he is the smart one” or “she is the artist in the family.” • Don’t expect the older child to be perfect, for example; “I expect you as an older child to share your toys nicely.” • Focus on the positive and describe what you see, for example; “when you shared your toy with Sam,
I could see that made him smile, well done.” • Teach them how to deal with conflict fairly. Become the mediator, listen to both parties, brainstorm ideas to resolve the issue and choose a mutually agreed solution.
Marie Marchand currently runs private sessions, workshops and sevenweek courses with parents, schools and organisations to help encourage successful parenting and teaching. parentingdialogue.com and
