In Session with Dr. Patricia Pitta

Parenting with Mary and GOD on Your Side

“Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.” (Proverbs 29:17)

Parents today have so many questions about how to parent effectively so their child can develop to the best of his/her potential, with sound, faithfilled, and moral values. and most importantly, with the ability to love. With the many changing norms and with the influence of group think in today’s environment, how does a parent influence their child so he/she will listen and conduct himself in a healthy, productive, faith-filled, and self-directed manner?

Let’s look at the messages that Mary has given us in terms of parenting. Her parenting was one of surrender to the will of God as she was bestowed with God’s grace to handle all the ups and downs, the joys, the sadness, the losses, and the gains of parenting in faith, hope and love. To lose a son or daughter is the most painful loss. A parent is not supposed to bury a child. Journeying with the Lord, you are graced with his blessings, and you will be able to handle your road, as long as you journey with HIM, no matter what the situation.

When you walk with God at your side you will develop the strength to be a “Good Enough Parent” who is imperfect and rears an imperfect child who can learn to be resilient no matter what the situation. You can teach your child that he can learn to call upon God to offer him strength to follow the path of love, discipline, and productivity in our ever-changing world.

As your child learns resilience, he learns to “bounce forward” as he deals with the challenges of life and develops an “I can do it attitude.” Teaching your child to take healthy risks and believe in himself means there are no negative consequences for who he is and what he does when based on God’s teachings. Teach your child to ask himself before he decides that which he is unsure of: “What would GOD say?” How would HE guide me? You are giving your child a framework and roadmap on how to navigate life and make choices based on GOD’S love. This will strengthen your child/teen to believe in himself and how he acts and thinks, and his sense of self-esteem will grow.

To parent effectively means to model the love of GOD through prayer and practice of your faith and your child will follow. As a parent is present and that is essential (put the phone aside), a parent listens respectfully which means giving your child no matter what the age, eye contact, repeat what he says, so he knows he is heard and then you respond in a loving way. As you state the rules and follow through with loving discipline, the roadmap is further defined.

Loving discipline means to be consistent in directing, supervising, correcting, and modeling appropriate behaviors without judgment. When we judge, our child’s selfesteem plummets, and their resilience becomes compromised. As your child walks in truth with GOD and follows a parent’s rules and values, he will be able to succeed as he sets realistic goals. Being realistic is essential because setting goals that are unattainable leads to unnecessary disappointments and frustrations.

As a child becomes more aware of his relationship with GOD and those around him, disappointments, which are part of life, are dealt with strength and the child can look at what is left and not focus on what is lost. As a result, he develops the strength to rebuild and relearn. Parents enable this faith-filled and resilient coping style by expressing empathy, warmth, safety, and connection, no matter what your child does or says. He knows you have his back, and you will lead with the love of God and consistency of discipline which enables your child to feel connected to you and God. He can learn to transform how he acts, thinks, feels, and loves and the possibilities are endless.

So. as you see, set the model, live the model you talk about with God and Mary at your side. Pray with your child for what he has and the changes he wants to make. See a prayer below.

My dear Lord, give me the strength to accept the love of you and my parents so I can accept their direction and build the strength to love and act in kindness, compassion, and love in my every act, thought, and deed.

Dr. Pitta (drpatriciapitta.com) is a Clinical and Board-Certified Couple and Family Psychologist practicing in Manhasset and is the chair of the Mental Health Ministry of St. Mary’s. She is a professor of psychology at St. John’s University and a graduate of the Pastoral Formation Institute of Rockville Centre. Dr. Pitta is the author of Solving Modern Family Dilemmas: An Assimilative Therapy Model published by Routledge and Integrative Couple and Family Therapy published by the American Psychological Association.

Knights of Columbus

Father William A. Daly S.J. Council #2122

Serving St. Mary’s Parish in Manhasset and St. Aloysius Parish In Great Neck www.kofc2122.org

What is a Knights of Columbus Family?

We are Catholic families building a bridge to our faith.

Our lives, time, efforts, and resources are dedicated to these values: Charity. Unity. Fraternity. Patriotism.

We come from different places, backgrounds, and all stages of life. But the common thread is our Catholic faith. We are Catholic families seeking to improve ourselves and the world.

It’s one thing to say who you are. It’s another thing is to live it. Put your values into practice.

Become a Knights of Columbus family.

Interested? Please call:

Tony Racioppo 917 539 0859

Dan Garcia 516 358 1817

Ladies interested in joining the Columbiettes

Please contact Maura Clifford at Macliff56@gmail.com

Venerable Anthony Vincent Gallo

Diocesan Priest, Oblate of the Congregation of the Priests of the Sacred Heart

Montforte Irpino: 11 January 1899 - Rome: 2 May 1934

O Most Holy Trinity, Who deigned to raise Venerable Anthony Vincent Gallo to the priesthood, and endowed him with precious gifts, especially that of a burning love for suffering and immolation, we humbly beseech You, if it be Your will, that he may be glorified on earth, and that we may obtain through his intercession the particular grace which we ask for with living faith. Amen.

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