Aye, Chootiya!

Words by Janaye Kirtikar (she/her)

So many children of immigrants mourn the loss of language. The story in my family is that we all understood Marathi as babies and it faded away as we went to school. Other than a few words and phrases around the house, relational titles, and mantras, neither myself nor my two sisters have picked up much of our dad’s language. When we visit Mumbai, I can’t introduce myself, ask for directions, or hail a rickshaw. But I’m weirdly well-equipped if someone cuts me off in traffic.

My dad has unwittingly passed down the vocabulary from his chaotic life in Mumbai to his three daughters. We have a diverse knowledge of the most vulgar and unspeakable curse phrases in Marathi and Hindi. From the mouths of Mumbai’s gangsters, police, and ultra-wealthy to the ears of three girls in Upper Hutt. The older we became, the more we picked up on, and the more likely it was that he’d explain the niche ones to us. It’s not the cultural inheritance anyone expects to get but, fuck, it’s kind of funny.

So if you ever travel to India and want to pick a fight, here are a few choice words that Duolingo won’t teach you.

For Everyday Use

Chootiya Cunt

Madarchod Motherfucker

Bhenchod

Sister fucker

Nicknames For Our Dogs, With Love

Randookli

Little whore

Bhosadi nandan

The loved child of a gaping vagina

Choodo bhagat Slut (man)

Niche, But They Come Up More Often Than You’d Think

Lauda lasoon

Dicks and garlic

Hathi hagla mhanoon sasa hagalya gela anni bocha phatoon mela

The elephant shat. The rabbit tried to shit like the elephant, then tore its arsehole and died.

Nasheebavar makad hagla

A monkey’s shat on my luck.