ZING!

I wish I’d had this book when I was young. Perhaps I would have had the confidence to say: ‘Hold on a second, I don’t feel like this. I feel different from my friends and other boys. I’m not into the same things.’ Nobody was telling me that was okay.

I wish someone had tapped me on the shoulder and said: ‘You’re doing okay. You don’t have to change for anyone. You don’t have to be a particular way. You are brilliant just as you are so celebrate it

What makes a good leader?

There's no single way to be a good leader as different kinds of leadership work in different situations. If you are a leader, the first thing to realise is that you are part of a team and it is not all about you – it’s about you and everyone around you, collectively. Good leaders don’t just tell people what to do; they recognise the qualities and capabilities of those around them and know how to use those skills for the collective good.

How To Be A Boy And Do It Your Own Way, published by Wren & Rook, is in bookshops now.

Dr Ranj's advice on how to be a good ally

• Speak out when others make jokes about girls (sexism)

• Speak out when others make jokes about LGBTQ+ people (homophobia/biphobia/ transphobia)

• Speak up when someone gets treated differently because of their skin colour (racism)

• Support someone when they are being bullied – let a teacher or other responsible adult know

• Don't tease girls about their bodies or things like periods

• Don't make fun of anyone who is into things that are different from what others consider the norm

• Check in with someone after they've had an upsetting experience and offer them help

Good leaders also know how to listen and are understanding, empathetic and flexible. They should be able to admit when they are wrong. As a leader, it’s important to bear in mind that you are not perfect, that you have limits and might make mistakes.

Why is Pride Month important and how can we ensure everyone feels welcome?

It’s important that everyone learns about Pride. The great thing is that a lot of young people do know about it and are more open, understanding and savvy than some older members of society – so can lead by example.

Pride is important all year round but many celebrate it in the lead up to the Pride in London parade on 1 July. If you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community, now is your time to show the world how brilliant you are; now is your time to celebrate yourself and shine. It’s an opportunity to showcase the community and how wonderful it is.

As for allies, if you’re taking part in Pride celebrations, remember you are there as guests. You have been let into the space and you should respect that and use your allyship to make things better.

Recognise that the LGBTQ+ community is at a disadvantage in so many ways. You may not have the same struggles as members of that community, but you can help by making the Cadets experience as welcoming and wonderful as possible.

What's your advice for cadets struggling with low mood?

Any young person who doesn’t feel their best needs to know it's normal to feel like that, and that they are not alone. When you're young you're still trying to work out who you are and where you fit in the world. In addition, there are lots of things going on in the brain and body that can compound those feelings.

It's important to remember that no one feels like that forever. If, however, you’re unable to manage your feelings by yourself, reach out and talk to someone. You may not find that person straight away; it may take a couple of goes to find the right person but there will be somebody willing and able to support you.

What are your top tips for building self-confidence?

When we're in a funk and not feeling our best we forget the great things about ourselves. We get preoccupied by a negative viewpoint and the negative voice in our head, and fixate on the things we don’t like, forgetting the things we do like about ourselves.

Try to change your viewpoint. Ask yourself: 'What are the things I do love about myself? What are the things that have gone well for me?’. Try to find the positive wherever you can.

If, however, you're really struggling and it’s getting in the way of you enjoying life and doing the things you want to do, you do need to speak to someone and get some help.

Go further

Dr Ranj recommends learning about the LGBTQ+ community and speaking to LGBTQ+ people about their experiences.

As part of an ITV series, A Letter To My 14-YearOld Self, celebrating the LGBTQ+ community, he reflects on his own journey of selfacceptance, plus his optimism about future generations. Click here or scan the QR code to watch the video.