Embracing Life's Obstacles

BY JULES BADGER

Tough gal Hania Aitken (Blue Mountain Adventure Centre) has faced many obstacles in her life. Her faith—tried and tested—has taught her to face those obstacles head on. She’s been surprised time and again not only by what God has helped her overcome, but also by what her body is able to do. For the 41-year-old mother of four, being strong is about having a mindset that doesn’t shy away from difficulty—be that physical or spiritual. Her approach to building strength makes for inspiring and compelling new year reading.

Hania vividly recalls sitting on the couch with a newborn in her arms, when her four-year-old son, Cruz, wondered aloud who could take him for a bike ride. ‘I remember him saying that he’d have to ask Dad because I didn’t know how to ride a bike. I was like, What?! But then I realised, Hang on a minute, he doesn’t know that I can ride a bike because he’s only ever seen me feeding babies and cleaning bums and whatnot!’

That was a poignant moment for Hania who decided then and there that she wanted to reverse her son’s assumptions. ‘I needed to set an example, because already at that young age Cruz had made this assumption that mums don’t do certain things. And I thought to myself, I owe it to my sons and daughters to demonstrate that women are capable and strong. That was the beginning of the journey for me—my goodness, of course I could ride a bike!’

Early obstacles

Raised by a single mum who migrated to Australia from the Czech Republic, Hania had an interesting entry into Aussie life. ‘Mum had a very strong accent and there were some strong cultural differences which meant that as a family you could say we were on the outer edge of normal life. But when I was about six, Mum became a Christian, and I remember it distinctly for the change it brought about in her life—it was a hundred percent game-changer for us.’

Even though faith was embedded in her home life, Hania had a difficult time at high school, made more challenging when her front tooth was knocked out. ‘This might seem minor, but at 14 it was massive. I had to have braces and they held the gap open until I was 16. So that was two years with no front tooth—I felt ugly and cried buckets. But I began to consider that there had to be more to me than just looking normal and having what might be considered a pretty face at the most basic level—like with all ya teeth! The realisation began to sink in that my heart really does matter and so does who I am. And that sat with me— the way we look at our bodies and judge our appearance is not the full story. There’s so much more! That was a wake-up moment in my life, and it made me start to look at my body and appearance in a healthier way.’

Hania moved to a Christian college for her final years of schooling. A series of events that could only have been orchestrated by God saw Hania head to Fiji on a mission trip with her class. ‘I had this encounter with God there, and I committed myself to doing what God wants of me, not what I might have planned. That trip became one of the first major spiritual markers in my life. Everything has flowed from that reassurance that God’s way is the best way. Now, throughout our life together, my husband Kyle and I consistently ask, “Okay, God, what do you want of us?”.’

Clarity in the darkness

In 2012, Hania and Kyle were living in Australia and felt utterly convinced that God was calling them back to New Zealand and Blue Mountain Adventure Centre (BMAC), where the couple had previously served as outdoor instructors in 2006. ‘We felt so strongly about it—God had spoken so loudly to us. But then Kyle didn’t get the job.’ Hania was pregnant and went into a tailspin of disappointment. ‘We’d bought tickets back to New Zealand, sold our car and had to come back to no job and no house. I honestly entertained the thought that God had lied to us. If I couldn’t trust what God had said so clearly to both of us at the same time, which doesn’t often happen, then maybe I can’t trust anything he’s ever said or might say.’

Worried about where their baby would be born, the couple decided to volunteer at BMAC anyway. Then Kyle picked up some paid work in Auckland, while Hania remained at BMAC. ‘I ended up taking care of the new manager’s children for a week while she settled into her new role that was supposed to be our role. It was really hard! I was caring for the kids in what would have been our house, and I was like, God, why am I here? What is your plan?.’

Hania was approached by someone asking if Kyle might be able to make it to an interview at Dilworth School the following day. ‘I was pretty begrudging because I was sure we were called to be at BMAC, but I promised I’d tell Kyle about it, so I did, and he already had a commitment. But we agreed to pray about it anyway.’ And as she did, God directed her to Jeremiah 29.

‘I was like, Come on, God, we all know Jeremiah 29:11 by heart, but I felt God saying, No Hania, read the first part of the chapter. So I did, and this is my summary of it: “Go into the land that I’m sending you into and at the right time I’ll bring you back to this place. Settle down and have babies and increase in number… and you’ll come back to this place.” While I knew we were meant to be at BMAC, I now understood the time wasn’t quite right yet.’

It turned out that the commitment Kyle had the next day was with someone who happened to be an intern at Dilworth. ‘Long story short, he had an interview and got the job, and we felt right about settling down at Dilworth and giving it our all because we were confident that returning to BMAC was in our future. It was such a moment of clarity in a very dark space, and God took care of all the small details. Sometimes they go hand in hand, don’t they? Dark times and significant God moments.’

Choosing obstacles

Kyle and Hania loved their season at Dilworth, and it was during this season that the concept of ‘obstacles’ was redefined for Hania. Having given birth to four children, she decided to get into shape by ticking off some bucket list items. ‘I had a half marathon in the back of my mind, but when I started running—I think I ran about 400 metres—not only did I pull my Achilles tendon, but my insides felt like they were going to fall out! I put two and two together and realised that I had no core strength and that in order to run I would have to start with some strength work.’

Hania gathered some other people together and began a little boot camp in the Dilworth gym. ‘I could only do about five push ups on my knees when we started, and I thought, Oh my gosh, I’m never going to get anywhere. Slowly, but surely, strength began to build to the point where after my first half marathon, I signed up for a ‘Tough Mudder’ event, which is a half marathon with 40 obstacles spaced throughout the race. I thought this would be more fun than training for just a run, because each obstacle leant itself to specific challenges in terms of strength. You might be a fast runner, but what happens when there’s mud? What are you going to do when you have to pull something really heavy? I liked that the obstacles evened the playing field for the athletes. Some people are really strong but not so fast, or they might not have great balance or not be so good on monkey bars. I love the obstacles!’

A whole new world opened up for Hania as she grew physically stronger, including an appearance on Australian Spartan in 2018, with New Zealand team James and The Peaches. The following year, God brought the now six-strong Aitken tribe to BMAC, with Kyle taking on the promised manager’s role. It was like entering the Promised Land for the Aitkens and they’ve embraced their new life with gusto. Hania is making the most of the outdoor environment to continue her strength-training journey. In October 2020, Hania came second overall in the Rotorua Tough Gal Championship and won her age group (the over 40s).

So, what is a tough gal?

‘I would say that ultimately being a tough gal means being willing to embrace hard things. Whether that’s a demanding physical challenge in which you choose to give your all, or whether that’s about embracing your body—even your grey hair! Being a tough gal is that willingness to embrace tough things. Discovering strength changed my everyday life in terms of what I could do, and it didn’t really matter how I looked from the outside, because I felt so strong. And that just felt really liberating. I can do things and I can trust my body. God’s designed my body in an amazing way, and I feel like I’m honouring it by doing things with my body that I would otherwise have just gone, Nah I can’t do that.

‘My faith meshes with the physical—they go hand-in-hand. There can be times in our faith when it’s easy and there are times when it is so hard—it can get really tough, like when we have to let God handle things instead of putting in our two cents’ worth and giving God our suggestions. It’s hard to let go of our right to control everything. It’s hard to be afraid, but still have the courage to do something that God’s told you to do anyway. Those are all tough things and I think whether it’s physical or spiritual, being a tough gal is being willing to embrace those hard things and say, “Okay, this is tough, but I’m going to do it anyway—I’m going to have courage in the face of whatever it is that is really difficult right now and still step forward”.’

Powerful peaches

Hania is now a qualified personal trainer, and despite the challenges of Covid-19, took on yet another new challenge— launching Powerful Peach Fitness in November 2020. ‘I especially wanted to appeal to women. My vision and passion is to share my new-found strength and how it works with family life, particularly with other mums that often feel run off their feet and don’t take time for themselves. I just want others to discover their strengths and feel how it feels to live life to the full!

‘As you enter middle age, I know there are times when you are tempted to watch others—to sit back and let the younger ones do it, or watch your kids have fun instead of joining in. You don’t push yourself physically and instead get into a rut where you no longer trust yourself or your body to do things. Christ has come so that we might have life and have it in all its fullness, so I want to help other peaches jump on the tramp with their kids without the fear of wetting their pants or their insides falling out! Any mother knows that feeling, because our bodies change. I want women to discover their strength and feel powerful—at any age.’

Tough love

As a parting word, Hania especially wants women to be kinder to themselves—today. ‘Most of us are thinking, I’ll be happier with myself when … and it’s somewhere off in the future. I want to inspire women to be kind to themselves today and embrace themselves as they are now. Being tough is about self-love—loving yourself right now and being strong enough to not settle for less. Love and accept what God has created and then build your strength—whether that’s being a tough gal physically or embracing the next hard thing spiritually with God. Love yourself now! That’s what God does—he loves us right now. Jesus died for us when we were at our worst, not at our best—we need to follow that example.’

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