Grandparent Gifts Three years ago, I had a baby. I say ‘I’ with great license, because of course I’m referring to my daughter giving birth to my first grandchild. But I swear I felt every contraction as I watched my daughter, who was once my baby, give birth to her first child. WORDS Jules Badger
t was a highly emotional moment as I was transported back in time to the day I gave birth to Gabbie. It was like time stood still as our shared experience of childbirth culminated in the arrival of another girl baby in the family. In that moment, I was acutely aware that I was a link in a generational chain—part of a much bigger story. I thought of my own mother and grandmothers and wondered what my influence and legacy might be on this emerging generation. What would my role be in her life? As Christmas approaches, I wonder about the bigger story we are part of—a story that began not with the child in the manger, but with the many generations that came before. When Rosella was born it was like all my birthdays and Christmases had all come at once! What a precious gift she is to this doting G-ma! And she really is the gift that keeps on giving. I was taken by surprise, though, by the depth of my feelings for her. I didn’t expect to be so utterly besotted; I would literally cut off a limb for her. And it’s not that I wouldn’t have done that for my own children, but it’s different. As a parent I certainly endured plenty of pain—especially during the tumultuous teenage years! But as a grandparent you know hard times are inevitable, so it feels more like an invitation into heartache that you just cannot refuse. And those young parents need your comfort in the middle of that heartache, reassuring them they will get through. You did, so they can too. I wonder how Mary and Joseph felt when they presented their newborn son to the elderly Simeon 10
December 2023
who prophesied that a sword would pierce their very soul (Luke 2:25–35).
The grandparent phenomenon According to blogger Vanessa LoBue, anthropologists and psychologists confirm that grandparents have played a crucial role in human survival throughout history. Grandparents are life savers—in more ways than one. Furthermore, adult grandchildren who have a close relationship with a grandparent are less likely to suffer depressive symptoms. This phenomenon has historically been referred to as the ‘Grandmother Hypothesis’ (reflecting traditional maternal gender roles), but a twenty-first century meta-analysis of 17 different studies confirmed that good grandparents make a significant difference to the overall wellbeing of a child. Of course, this won’t be big news, with most grandparents answering an emphatic ‘yes’ when asked if they are ‘good’ grandparents. I positively dote on my grandchildren! I help with their care whenever I can and shower them with love and affection. But this measure of goodness is couched more in culture than Scripture. For people of faith, grandparents have an important role to play not just in the care and wellbeing of their grandchildren, but also in their spiritual formation. ‘Be careful and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and their children after them’ (Deuteronomy 4:9).
