Just keep swimming! Diary of self-isolation Week 4

Major Karen Sandford (Harlow) continues her day-by-day account of life in lockdown

DAY 22 - Tuesday 7 April

I cried today. The news we had been expecting since before the weekend arrived and the dam definitely burst. She was so lovely. Kind, thoughtful, generous, funny. Such a loss for her husband, for everyone. The boys wanted to know what they could do for me. I set them to work in the shed, then the garden, and about an hour later I had a paddling pool to swim in.

When I say swim, it was more of a lie down while waving my arms around, my tow-float attached to the dog lead, which was tethered to the washing line. But the cold water did what it usually does for my body, my mind and my soul.

I thank God that my body does what it does naturally when my mind goes Awol, that I am ‘fearfully and wonderfully made’ (Psalm 139:14) and that ‘the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort’ (2 Corinthians 1:3) never fails me.

DAY 23 - Wednesday 8 April

Yesterday was quite full, and culminated with me completing the worship sheet for Easter weekend. With that done I felt a real sense of relief today.

The morning was a combination of sharing in worship online – thank you to William Booth College – and of resting and recuperating.

At lunchtime I had a swim. After a bit of fine-tuning with the depth and the tether, it was almost a proper swim. Twenty minutes later I felt more human.

Later I made some calls, read a bit and had a treatment by video call that I have regularly. I felt so much better afterwards.

Everyone was home today, and one of the residents is struggling with not seeing loved ones. It’s been more than three weeks, and the separation is hard for them.

DAY 24 - Maundy Thursday

I woke early and decided to walk Daisy. I wanted to record a video for our corps. As some of them are unable to get out at all, I thought I’d share my walk with them.

We did some deliveries and visits too. It’s not quite the same having to stand outside without the cups of coffee and the hugs.

Tonight is one of my favourite nights of Holy Week. Our songsters usually lead the meeting. We’d been practising, and the young people had been rehearsing a drama. I guess it’s one more thing to add to the list of things we’ll do once this is over.

DAY 25 - Good Friday

Testosterone Towers came to life slowly. I, on the other hand, can’t seem to sleep past 6 am. It was quite nice being awake alone on Good Friday morning. Time to pause, reflect, worship.

I think Good Friday, of all days, is a good day to practise being present. We know the end of the story but that doesn’t change the reality of it. We can’t rush through to the happy ending. So, we have mainly been going with the flow: eating, reading, exercising, swimming and worshipping via an online link. We had the obligatory hot cross bun and coffee after the online meeting.

Today I was reminded of some words of Jennifer Dukes Lee: ‘The ground is level at the foot of the cross… There is room here for each of us, and grace enough for all of us, and not one of us stands beyond his reach.’

DAY 26 - Saturday 11 April

Holy Saturday. The day when God is silent, but not absent. I woke early again and recorded a video to send to corps members.

Today feels like a gift to us at the moment. Permission to sit with what is, not what is to come, a time to sit and accept. We may know the end of the story. We may be unsure, grieving, scared. We sit. We wait. We watch. Believing in the darkness what we know to be true in the light.

DAY 27 - Easter Day

Today felt strange. There was such a mixture of emotions.

We ventured into the world of Zoom with our corps. All this stuff scares me a bit, but I’m going to have to embrace it. It was so lovely to see each other – to pray, to laugh, to sing.

I know today has been hard for lots of people. I also think it’s taken people by surprise: the emotion, the tears, the wistful longing for home, even though that’s where we’ve been all day.

As Easter Day draws to a close, I remind myself that Jesus has risen. It really is finished.

Weeping endures for a night, a week, a month. But joy is on its way. We’ll see it in the morning.

DAY 28 - Easter Monday

I’ve never been a big fan of bank holiday outings. So in a way, today has been just how I like it.

Chris has rediscovered the ability to sleep. It’s not a skill I have learnt, but every so often my body seems to know it needs to ‘return to factory settings’. So today I’ve mainly been asleep, apart from swimming, walking with Mum via video link and baking a cake.

I realised this morning how much I pray while I swim. The difference the pool has made to me is huge.

This is the last day of week four of our family lockdown. It may have been the hardest so far. Next week will need some fine-tuning.