Now, There’s a Thought

QQUICK

QUIZ 1 Which country singer had a hit in 2009 and 2021 with her song ‘Love Story’? 2 House martins stay in the UK predominantly during which seasons of the year? 3 What type of instruments are the glockenspiel and the xylophone?

6 A ANSWERS 3. Percussion. 4. Estonia. 5. The Olympic Games. 6. Romesh Ranganathan. Which country’s flag comprises three horizontal bands of blue, black and white? The first known staging of which sporting event took place in Greece in 776 BC? Which British comedian wrote the autobiography Straight Outta Crawley? 4 5

1. Taylor Swift. 2. Spring and summer.

by Cliff Kent

Questions mark genuine interest

THE everyday question ‘how are you?’ can elicit a range

of responses. Some people will always say they are fine, regardless of how they are actually feeling. Others will go into a lot of detail, perhaps sharing deeper problems than might have been expected.

Then there are certain people who ask how you are, but very quickly turn the conversation back to themselves – often going on at some length. Or they start talking about the problems of a relative or friend who may be unknown to you. In such situations, that questioner never really wants to know how you are.

Some people never stop talking and seem totally wrapped up in themselves. Speaking continuously, they hardly pause for breath. My wife Pat once said: ‘The person who is really interested in you will ask a second question.’ Better still is Some of us when a person asks even more questions. One Bible writer advised: ‘Let everyone be need to talk quick to listen, slow to speak’ (James 1:19 New Revised Standard Version). There are, indeed, some people who are good listeners. They focus on you and ask questions without interrupting or turning the topic back on themselves. Nor are they distracted by what’s happening around them.

Obviously some of us need to talk. We may have burdens to bear and could be hurting, broken and disorientated, and we need to be given time to unburden ourselves.

Others of us restrain grief and hide our real feelings, keeping a stiff upper lip, which can have disastrous consequences later on. We find it difficult to be frank about our emotions and we bottle them up. But it is far better when they are released and expressed in a safe way.

Some years ago, BT ran adverts with the slogan: ‘It’s good to talk.’ And it is. But I wonder if they ought to have been used alongside others that read: ‘But it also helps to listen.’ It’s good advice to ensure that, no matter how people are, they feel heard.