4 minute read
Child care
Post-pandemic, children need peace of mind
Katharine Hill
KATHARINE HILL of charity Care for the Family describes how parents can support the emotional wellbeing of their children
Interview by Claire Brine
‘EVERY week, it seemed, I was reading newspaper headlines about young people experiencing
mental health difficulties,’ says Katharine Hill, the UK director of Christian-based organisation Care for the Family. ‘There are so many pressures on young people today, which has led to rising levels of anxiety. And the pandemic has made things a lot worse.’
One of the biggest pressures facing young people, Katharine says, is school. Exams can be stressful at any time. Not knowing if they are going to be cancelled or not, because of Covid-19, has been equally troubling for schoolchildren.
‘Then there’s the digital world with its image-heavy platforms, encouraging children to measure their worth by the number of “likes” they get. There are also global issues, such as climate change and Black Lives Matter, which are concerning our young people. Even before 2020 came along, I knew I needed to write a book for parents who wanted to help their children build emotional resilience.’
Katharine begins A Mind of their Own: Building Your Child’s Emotional Wellbeing in a Post-Pandemic World by exploring the subject of success, aiming to help parents whose children are struggling to cope with academic pressure.
‘Some parents have high-achieving, perfectionist children who are very selfcritical,’ she tells me. ‘Often these children base their self-worth on how well they
Post-pandemic, children need peace of mind
perform academically, so if they drop releasing them from this pressure to be a few marks in an exam, they go into a extraordinary.’ complete meltdown. Over the past 18 months, pressure on
‘Then there are parents whose children young people has only increased as they aren’t academic at all, and it’s a struggle have come to terms with Covid-19 and to get them to even open their school its devastating consequences. Katharine books. considers the impact of the pandemic on
‘In both cases, parents can adopt a children’s mental health. technique called “process praise”, which ‘It has been so big,’ she says. is about celebrating the effort that a child ‘Nurseries and schools with young, makes, and not just the vulnerable children have result. In our family, we made the point by going Not everyone reported that, in some cases, language and out for pizza before any can be a winner communication skills have exam results came out. suffered, and some children Such encouragement can are no longer potty-trained help a child’s emotional wellbeing.’ or able to use cutlery. A lot of them are
While school work is important for finding it hard to concentrate. children, Katharine emphasises ‘the best ‘Teenagers have also found it hard, A* grade has to be in emotional health’. because this was when they were meant
She says that ‘looking beyond the to be out and about, discovering their narrow academic route, we need to identity away from home. Instead they recognise the things our children are good were holed up with their parents. Some at and the qualities they have. Are they of them now have fewer friends, because kind? Do they look out for others? Those it has been impossible to keep up with are the things that are really important.’ everybody online. Not being able to have
Another chapter in Katharine’s book face-to-face conversations has been considers the idea that ‘it’s OK to be difficult.’ ordinary’. She tells me: ‘Programmes Such experiences have led to feelings such as Britain’s Got Talent give out the of disappointment, isolation and message that everyone has to be special frustration. For parents, it can be tough and a winner. But not everyone can be a to help young people cope with their winner. Our culture has made “ordinary” emotions. sound boring. And that’s not true. Our job ‘While parents may feel that having a as parents is to encourage our children teenager in the house is a bit like living to be the best they can be, while also with a smouldering volcano, it’s important for young people to have a healthy way of expressing their feelings,’ says Katharine. ‘Parents can help with this by being good role models themselves, naming emotions as they come up rather than brushing them under the carpet. Children need to know that it’s OK to be sad when sad things happen. They also need to see their parents managing their own emotions well by going for a run or having a lie-down to relax when things get stressful.’
Although Katharine acknowledges the sadness, difficulty and loss young people have faced in recent months, she remains hopeful about their future.
‘We need to steer clear of the doomand-gloom narrative and look for the opportunities,’ she says. ‘We don’t call the children of the Second World War “the lost generation”. We think of them as resilient and stoic. In the same way, with the right support, children of today can come through the coronavirus pandemic and be even stronger than before.’
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