Sorry for the delay but we have been busier than ever! We’ve got loads of hush-hush exciting gigs planned for summer already and are Djing some pretty good gigs soon including The Answering Machine (who’s new single “Cliffer” is amazing- bringing indie back from the dead somewhat!) and alongside Clint Boon. Our stage at Kendal Calling is shaping up loads- with some ace bands being confirmed already (like The Streets; yep, all hail Mike Skinner!) and we’ve managed to catch up with Friendly Fires on their recent NME Tour with Flo’ and the Machine, Glasvegas and White Lies as well as Mystery Jets at their gig in Bristol. What else have we done this month? We hot-footed it down to London to DJ at Mat Hornes club night whilst also being treated to a secret gig by the Maccabees (who are as on form as ever!). Oh! And we’ve also had some new t-shirts made up and we’re dead happy with the results (check our main Myspace page for details) and the designers of XOX ‘DR:ME’ put on their first exhibition in Manchester with Nous Vous and an acoustic set by Jeremy Warmsley. Our singles club this week is “Lord Auch” who are the best darkly blues band around at the moment. If you didn’t know all that where have you been, ey? So that’s what happened last month but our most exciting news ever is yet to come; keep your eyes keenly peeled on the 19th March for our super, super exciting news!!! It’s going to be HUGE so if you want to be a part of it make sure you’re logged in for the 19th!! As ever XOX is here to fill the gaps with interviews, reviews and everything else. We still want as many people getting involved as possible so if you’re a designer, DJ or budding journalist get onto us as soon as possible to sign on for your next assignment! Jade, xox
www. zshare. net/audio/563196057288871c/ Artrockers favourites Lord Auch have kindly agreed to give us a track for this months Singles Club. Combining squirming basslines and hypnotising drums Lord Auch’s superb single “The Dig Inn” is an addictive sound and now they’re letting us have a sneaky look at the exclusive track “Sappho and Doubleskin” which takes a slower more brooding sound and wraps it around a skittering sound. Think if Vincent Vincent and his villains did melodrama, a more subtle Brute Chorus or The Woodsmen track ‘Green Eyes’. Channelling a dash of Johnny Cash and a pinch of sinister guitar work and haunting vocals. In a similar vein of Televised Crimewave, KASMs and S.C.U.M- Lord Auch make the more macabre side of music come alive and provide a soothing balm to itching, fast-paced electro. Named after the debauched Georges Bataille who published his ‘Story of the Eye’ under the pseudonym of ‘Lord Auch’ (and was fascinated by the ideas of Nietzsche, human sacrifice and the baser elements of life) you would be justified in wondering what this band is about. What they are about though is combining blues roots with a pop ethos and creating catchy songs with a deep background and interesting influences. It’s edgy rawness from a band defiantly one to watch- and considering they’re being backed by totally cool label “Young and Lost” you really shouldn’t take your eyes off them for a second
Mystery Jet’s seem to grow from strength to strength every time we see them. Whether playing a small night at Night and Day like they did last year or packing out festivals they seem to have something different from most bands around at the moment but still with a touch of mass appeal. A very secret skill. Enter our epic interviewer Ellen Angus to catch up with the band at their Bristol show to ask about feminism, afro-beat funk and that new wave band Japan from the 80s (no, we hadn’t heard of them either!)
Ellen: It’s got a red light so we know its recording Blaine- What’s this? Is this gonna be for radio? Ellen: Um (chuckle) it’s for recording what you say Blaine- is this gonna be published Ellen: It will be published in a magazine... Blaine- will the audio files be published? Ellen: No, the audio files wont be published. Blaine- so it doesn’t matter what tone we speak in... Ellen: Nope! Speak like a girl if you want So what have you lot been up to? It’s been about two years since the last time I saw you live! Blaine- Well I’ve been painting and uhhhhhhh watching ballet
Ellen: We suspect your taking the piss a bit right now? Blaine: I’ve been re-inventing the wheel Ellen: the wheel?! Blaine: Yep! We’ve been bringing our art back to is fundamental elements...(still taking the absolute piss!) and reconstructing it...in the most pretentious way possible... Kapil: [Laughing] Ellen: Okay well.....moving on to the next question! Last time you lot told me about an interesting African band called... Blaine: Course we did (still taking the piss) Ellen: The Chicken Run something or other? Blaine-oh I’m sorry that’s William yeah um that was cool about two yrs ago- that was an afro beat thing with the vampire weekend... (Blaine STILL TAKING THE PISS!) I think that we’re un-trying to listen to what we were always trying to catch. The wave before it brakes... (not taking the piss anymore) well maybe. If that makes sense? Do you want some cutting edge shit? The most recent thing I bought is Van a Record? Released on analogue Africa which is a German reissues label Of a band called Green Arrows, which was 70s Afro-Beat-Funk. A Zimbabwe funk band. Ellen: You lot are missing out because you haven’t listened to Any Trouble......and they’re amazing.... Blaine- Any Trouble? Ellen: Yeah a 1960s-70s Uni Band my dad rinses them.... Blaine- When you’ve stopped talking to William....I’d like to talk about a couple of bands that of been on tour with us stricken silly really good band
Ellen: No that’s not what I’m asking I’m asking about books.....!? Blaine- Thought we were talking about records? Ellen: No, I’m asking about books now! Blaine: Okay, the last book I read was called “Kill Your Friends” by John Nivett but you don’t need me to say that because it’s having a massive poster campaign But ask William about books- he knows about books. Lets have some edgy author- lets throw some edgy authors out there... [still taking the PISS]. Ellen: [Moving swiftly on] What’s the last exhibition you saw? Blaine- The last exhibition I went to was um .......it was probably Charles Saatchi’s Chinese exhibition of new Chinese artists.... I really enjoyed it...was really impressed I mean Charles Saatchi...kind of like ....most people in the art industry have a kind of love hate relationship with him because he kind of has the power to brake people. Its power but you know I think at the same time Chinese art is something I never knew about before I went to that exhibition....and I came out thinking ‘you know what there’s some really exciting stuff happening’. Ellen: But did you notice there was only two women that showed within that exhibition only two within ‘Chinese art’ DID YOU NOTICE THAT?!!!! Blaine- Are you a feminist? Ellen: I’m slightly a feminist..... Blaine: That’s fine, that’s fine Ellen: Just slightly, only a little. Anyway, moving on Does anything visually inspire you to make a track? Blaine: We’re defiantly visually inspired I mean I wouldn’t like to say we’re an art school band or anything but both myself and William went to art school and I think that when we were making our
record “21” we got to a point where we had all the songs and we weren’t sure what king of identity the record would possess. I think once we found the art work that we kind of really thought about the record in respect of coming of age...and falling in love for the first time and having your heart broken. All these things which occur when you’re a young adult and Natro Alegros’ photography really seemed to capture all that. I don’t know if necessarily images inspire the song but I think perhaps they’re a king of mental image which help to pull an album together.
are you trying to achieve with your songs’ I always remember Adam Sandler in ‘The Wedding Singer’ and they say to him ‘Why do you write music?’ and he says ‘I wanna write songs that someone, somewhere will listen to’ and say ‘You know I’ve felt that before’. I’d like to do that with our songs. I’d like to kind of take words out of peoples mouths, perhaps feelings that people have felt but have never really found the words to say. And put it across in a language that people can understand and relate too
Ellen: How do you go about composing or laying down a track? Blaine: I think when we write there are a bunch of different things that come about. Sometimes I’ll sit down and I’ll have an idea and I’ll try and get a sense of how I want the song to sound or sometimes I’ll write a melody and some lyrics and let the band do the rest And William writes a lot as well and when he writes it’s in a very open ended way which allows the band to create their own path.
Ellen- that’s a good thing. One of my friends who couldn’t be here now wanted me to ask you about the closing gig at Astoria and how you lot felt about it? Was it a good thing? Blaine: I think for us is was a tremendous privilege to play because I saw my first ever gig at Astoria in about ’96. Ellen: What did you see?
Ellen: Do you feel that being in ‘the band’ has ever in anyway hindered you- as in do you feel in anyway that doing this has stopped you from doing anything that you might have done... Blaine- I mean I think the band has been a really good kind platform for us to try and (I hate to ever say anything like this) but to “make a change” and create a reaction. I think you know with any band that what we all want is to be inspire ideas and do it through out music. I mean if you were to ask me ‘What are you trying to say with your music’- well you couldn’t say I think every song has its place. Born with its own ideas about what its saying
Ellen: Nope!! Blaine: Yeah! They were a king of weird new wave band from the 80s. It was like when they reformed with a different singer. I didn’t really know who they were at the time either but it was engrained in my moment as the first live musical experience and I’ve always thought back to that and that gig! It was so loud and the lights were fucking blinding and the sound was so loud it kinda of inspired me to put a band together and play live gigs. We played the Astoria five times which I feel we were privaliged to be able to say that And the last gig there that we played was amazing we only played three songs but it was on the last night it ever opened it’s doorsteps To be invited to that was amazing!
Ellen: Which is good in a way because even if you just inspire one person to do something that daylike get up and buy a bloody newspaper then that’s surely a good thing... Blaine- It’s something that if people say to us ‘what
Blaine: It was a band called Japan d’ya remember? From the 80s!
by Ellen Angus Illustration Louise Lynn
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Friendly Fires are one of the most exciting bands to emerge from last year. Their imitable dance music meant that their album in 2008 really holds a lot of promise for world domination this year! We caught up with them on the February NME Tour to ask them probing questions about what really happens on tour and found out more info than we bargained for (such as what the product of a Keane and Pete Doherty duet really is!). What have you got planned for the rest of the tour? How long are you on tour for? FF: The rest of our lives it seems. After this tour [NME Awards Tour] we have a day off and then we’re doing a European tour with Heartbreak Heartbreak! They’re amazing! We know someone they played for in a café and apparently they were jumping on tables and just generally crazy! FF: Oh, yeah they’re sharing a bus with us so, er, that should be fun! They’re ‘taches are amazing! You should all get matching facial hair FF: I couldn’t grow something like that that! To be fair it is pretty epic! What have you got planned after travelling Europe then? FF: Well, after the Euro tour we’re going to the USA and sharing another tour bus with White Lies. Aren’t they tour buses really small to be sharing with so many people? FF: There’s room for 12 people I guess but that’s quite small. And there’s not much room even then. I think buses are bigger in America cos that is how everyone gets round isn’t it- it’s too expensive to fly. Everything is bigger in America! Sounds like your really busy then! And then after America are you straight into the festival season? FF: We’re ending the tour playing a big festival in America. Think we’re hiring our a house as well for a while. We’re hoping to put out an EP around festival
season but it depends on if we’ll have enough time. I take the microphones out and stuff on tour. Everything is on the go really. I don’t like the idea of writing or producing songs on the road but I like coming up with little ideas and melodies on the road and jotting down ideas; then taking it back and writing a song out of it all. You’re Djing at Up the Racket later aren’t you? FF: Yeah! That was like the 1st gig we ever old out UTR. At, is it Retro bar? Every gig we’ve ever played there has been amazing. The guy that owns it was like you can have the lights up or flashing and that was it. Those gigs at UTR were amazing. We turned up and thought Retro Bar was a but of a shit hole but it’s always like that, the venues you think are a bit scummy always turn out to be the best! Are you lot from from London? Yeah, well, we’re from St. Albans. About 20 mils from London. I think we were lucky that we were from a suburban town so it gave us time to develop. If you’re playing your first gigs in London and you come from like a trendy East End place there is a pressure on new bands to get onto the circuit as soon as possible but then you don’t have time to perfect “your art”. So it’s cool to come from just outside, we felt more like a real band when we started playing gigs. Awful question but where would you say your inspirited came from? FF: Everything, anything! It’s a hard thing to pin down one. We all really like dance music. Anything with groove and a rhythm is important. That’s my favourite type of music. I like dense, bubbly melodies. I like the idea that the drum beat is like the pulse of your heart. That sounds really pretentious. But I think the melodies are so important. What about lyrics? FF: I’m not a big lyric person myself. I’m not a big fan of the Smiths! I do like the music and I do like Morrissey’s music a lot but I don’t like his voice. I’d want to
read his lyrics on a sheet of paper, than poetry. But his voice is really like I dunno. But then like Michael Jackson’s lyrics aren’t important but the way he sings it makes it. He’s crazy now. I like Jim O’Rourke; his lyrics are really musing and clever. But I think he’s an exception. I’m not a big lyric fan really. How’s the NME Tour gone so far? FF: Good, we’ve all been getting on really well. Tommy from White Lies is a legend and Florence is really nice. Every time she sees me she gives me a hug. She’s very excitable in a really endearing kind of way! Caroline as well from Glasvegas is lovely. What about the lead singer of Glasvegas? He always seems a bit scary in interviews! FF: He’s really nice. He must put on a funny persona for interviews and stuff, like quite confrontational or really shy. Cos he’s really nice! He says he is enjoying our shows and stuff. We’ve had drinks in the tour bus and that. We’re all going to Big Hands tonight as well I think, or going to watch Florence play somewhere How longs the tour been going? FF: We’ve been on tour about a week. It’s not too bad, already though I’m quite tired. Everyone else has had two days off but we went to France to do a TV show so we’re like the hardest working band or
something! We turned up late in Sheffield cos we got snowed in! We were sitting in Charles du Gaulle for ages playing on a PS1 or something waiting for our flight. For one of the biggest airports that was pretty poor- it had nothing in it! We had nowhere proper to eat and the seats had metal bars on it so you had to sit bolt upright and couldn’t have a sneaky snooze- you would not be able to live in that Terminal. You’d die of malnutrition. Did you get to see much of France or was it in and out for the TV show? FF: We turned up, did the TV show. Had to wake up at 6am and we hadn’t got to sleep until about 2am so we were pretty monged and stuff. We played with Keane and Pete Doherty; they did a duet of Karma C – worst thing I’d ever seen. Pete was okay though, he shook our hands and was alright, its like his breath is running out or something though! The guy interviewing them was pretty harsh as well! [Starts showing me a video on his phone of Pete and Keane playing Culture Club- it is extremely bad!] France loves Pete though. He can’t do anything wrong in their eyes. Planning of seeing Manchester while you’re here? FF: Might go for a little walk around. We don’t really get to see much of the towns we play in though. I remember last time we were here it was the German Christmas market in Manchester and that was really nice, but that’s probably gone now! by Jade French
Hailing from New York, School of Seven Bells are a tribal sounding electronic neofolk trio. In concept, it sounds like it should be terrible, yet somehow in reality they manage to produce magically tribal yet stirringly ethereal sounding music. We managed to catch a word with them at their recent Night & Day gig, and talked about their influences and why they’re touring with Bat for Lashes and White Lies.
Do you draw inspiration for School of Seven Bells from your previous bands [Secret Machines, On!Air!Library!]? Alejandra Deheza (vocalist/guitarist) – I actually don’t because my point for it was to not do anything that I’d done before, and that was very deliberate too. Benjamin Curtis (guitarist) – But, I think at the same time, we’re the same people, so you’re always influenced by what you’ve done and decisions you’ve made in a way, but it’s more indirect. How do you feel about the comparisons you get to My Bloody Valentine? BC – Yeah, I mean, I love that band, but I think the comparison is tenuous, there’s kind of similarities in the way that we both have guitars and women singing, but structurally it’s not really the same and I don’t think we’re really trying to do the same thing. But they are amazing. How do you find American crowds differ from British crowds? BC – British crowds are more critical in a more
particular way. Like, someone in a British audience would be more likely to pick out specific things they liked in the show, like people will say, I liked the way it was mixed, or I liked this guitar sound, whereas I think Americans in general have a more vague appreciation. Not to say it’s not an equal appreciation, it’s just less specific. AD – It’s more like on a whole. BC – It’s cool to hear what British audiences have to say. You’re touring with some great bands in the next few months [Bat for Lashes, White Lies]. Do you feel pressure to impress crowds who aren’t necessarily there to see you? AD – There is always that pressure, but we’re lucky enough to have these bands actually ask us to go on, so I think it’s because they think their fans would like it. So we’re kind of lucky in that way. BC – We’ve never been just stuck together by a promoter or a label, it’s always that the bands have asked us personally. If their fans don’t like then that’s their fault! [laughs]
Do you prefer playing bigger venues or more intimate ones [like Night and Day]? AD – I love playing to anywhere that is packed. It doesn’t matter if it’s small or big, I don’t care, but if there’s space, and I see it, it’s weird. I wouldn’t care if this [dressing room] was packed, I would love it. Do you find over-eighteens crowds to be better, or all-ages ones? BC – All-ages’ ones are always more fun, because they’re much less inhibited. Sometimes people are so used to going to gigs that they just hang out at the bar, chatting, smoking cigarettes, having drinks. AD – And that’s even with bands that they like! BC – It’s like, you bought a ticket, why did you buy a ticket if you didn’t really want to watch them?! And, lastly, who’s your new favourite band at the moment? AD – Fever Ray. BC – Yeah, Fever Ray. Do you know her? Yeah, from The Knife? BC – Yeah! She’s great. AD – We love her. Emily Bancroft
Hey there bunnyfacesssssss! I’m CHARLI XCX, singer, screamer and part time dinosaur. This month SAME TEENS & XOX have kindly given me the opportunity to tell you all about the excitements of my world lucky you eek! I’ve been bouncing around the East End of London for a while now on my magical spacehopper, and the other week, I bounced into some spectacular parties, including The Nu Pop Circus Secret Valentine Warehouse Party, where I saw my friends and supergroup-to-be ATLANTICISTS ( www.myspace.com/ atlanticists) play Eeeekk! They were brriiillllliaannnttt, and had me dancing away like a 5 year old dosed up on fizzy sherbet fountains (which is basically what I am anyway). They gained some serious admirers from the gay community, who were standing behind me asking all kinds of questions about their manly lumps. It was officially a night of mayhem, with people dancing on car rooftops and an amazingly amazing dj set from DAFT KUNT, which only got trashed by some naughty man breaking the sound and the police arriving and being all police-ish. Meowwwwwwwww. Later that week, I played the Wonky Pop night at The Egg, Kings Cross, which was amazingly fun!!! The stage was like being trapped in Wonderland, with hanging picture frames, golden hat stands and a random pole dancer (I can’t recall there being pole dancers in Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland but if there were he was ahead of his time) who kept chasing me around trying to steal my doggy, Bing-Bong. I didn’t like that much, so I made Bing-Bong bite her later on. Eeekk!! After my set, which involved lots of jumping and screaming and interpretations of underwater aerobics, I had a dance upstairs with some raver quavers and then tottered of home, back to the boudoir to write an
acoustic melody to send me of to slumber land (Meoww, I can be mellow when I want to be!). I had my first encounter with the people from the world of television, as a German film crew (who I’d met previously at the Candy Club Festival in Munich) came over to record a piece on me for Arte TV. It was all very exciting. We went to the park and gallivanted around there for a while, playing on the zip wire and the swings, and then later in the evening went on to my gig in Soho at BAM*JAM. It was a fun night, and there was a brilliant little man in an ostrich costume who came and had a dance with me. I’ve never played with an ostrich before, eeekk! The other night I had a late Halloween party with ALPHA JERK (ultimate history geek and literary genius) and friends. I dressed up as all time Halloween favourite- seaweed (as in the stuff in underwater land) and AJ went as a Russian wizard. It was spectacular, with huge amounts of indoor fireworks and fairy cakes my favourite combination!!! We partied all night like mischievous dinosaurs, and had a singa-long to my song, DINOSAUR SEX! RARRRRRRRRRR! There’s probably a lot more that I could say about February, and all that I have done, but everything has been drowned out by my excessive consumption of apple tango and cola flavoured lollipops which seem to be all I can really remember from this month but have no fearrrrrr, for in March there are lots of exciting exciting excitingggg things happening, such as CHERRY-AID, a secret hackney warehouse party organized by ultimate killah-thrillahhhs NEON SKULLZ and LE COUTEAU JAUNE! It is going to be tropical, and I have bought a mixture of fruit and a teapot hat to create a nice outfit. But shhhh! It’s a secret Meeowwww.. Mad love.. CHARLI XCX
dramatically dropped therefore the inventor of the pullover is now calling it ‘Climate Change’. It has become more socially acceptable to pay large sums of money into a belief system based on aliens than it is to turn on a lamp. We are forever pointing the finger of blame at anybody but ourselves and then running for cover. We have become the scared and corrupt. We are the doomed.
Been watching Skins? Caught your parents having sex? Given them drugs and watched the hilarious results and, possible oddest of all, have you causally chatted to a teacher who’s made a move on you and also had sex with your Mum, while cars are overturned and burned in the college car park? Thought not, here’s our very own telly correspondent Megbie to tell you more These are rough times. Everyone’s worried about their financial mortality after Grandpa Woolworths and our new puppy Zavvi passed away. We are told that if we don’t eat organic or fairtrade foods we are theoretically to blame for almost everything. The world is warming up and the sales of jumpers has
But fuck all that! Skins is on! Yeaaaaaah wicked! Brap. Let’s all smoke an E and listen to facebook! Thank you E4. Thanks a whole bunch. Tagetting the moody teenage demographic they’ve decided to churn out a THIRD series of the bizzarre ‘Skins’. ‘Skins’ is brilliant because it so fucking unrealistic and completely ridiculous it makes horrendously good television. You may as well put a group of teenagers at the bottom of the sea and they miraculously grow fins and are able to breathe and think “Sod it let’s all live here” and do so rather harmoniously. If Channel four actually broadcast that episode it wouldn’t stand out on the realism scale. Set in Bristol, for all of you Squares who don’t know, it centres around a group of teenagers who all attend the same sixth form college. It’s like Grange Hill with weed and haircuts. Anyway, they all have interesting names such as Effy, Jal and Pavement and all wear clothes all the rich kids wear and all listen to bands you haven’t heard of and always have loads of money and ...and...all of a sudden they aren’t real. I once read some chimp describe Skins as gritty. It isn’t gritty. It doesn’t have one speck of grit. It’s the creamiest, fluffiest and silliest representation of teenage life. I, myself, am sixteen, the same age as the leads in the third series and even the advert looks so distant to reality. The group flood into quite a pleasant, average pub and begin to cause mindless chaos. One minute there are darts and pints being pulled the next there are twins who’ve been crying as cards are flying and fares are being set off. And to round it all off, the Police have been called. Because OBVI-
OUSLY us teens love a good old bollocking by the filth. Be honest, how many times has that happened to you? Want the honest answer? A whole never of times. And let’s face it, it will never happen, not to you, not to me, not to our friends or our children. It will never happen. The Skins advert will never happen. Ever. Sorry. It feels abit like the equally as mental Deal or No Deal. I mean, yes, in life you have choices to make, door number one or door number two and then deal with the consequences. ‘Skins’ makes me feel that these lucky little sons of bitches have found some sneaky door number three, a life full of luxurious clothes and popularity. I mean apparently we all could have that. We just don’t have the right ‘doorway’. But, there is a fourth door. Actually lets set up a door system. Door one? Shit creek. Door two? Alright. Door three? Skins Territory. Door four? Woah Momma. Door four holds a whole new world, even the good people of Skins feel inadequate. It’s the USA door. BEHOLD A WHOLE NEW WORLD! It contains the likes of The OC (Liiiiiike oh my god!), The Hills (Liiiiiiike oh my god!) and 90210 (Liiiiiiike oh my god!). The boys look plastic and the girls are glossy, these little pop tarts make me squirm. There’s something really sinister about how America is representing adolescence. The average viewer is probably an average teenager with average looks and average prospects whereas the average tv starlet is a thousand times prettier, popular and more successful. There’s something really quite, cruel about that isn’t there? You wouldn’t go to a homeless shelter, bring your housekeys and a bottle of champagne just to guzzle it down befor flicking them the Vs, would you? Why taunt the majority with the elitist lives of the wealthy and ‘wonderful’? The Hills is weird. It’s a docu-soap thing that I have never had the patience for. It’s just a few pretty girls going “Yeeeeah but like um Heidi/Lauren/Gimp is like er a total bitch”. It’s just bitching. That’s rubbish!
If I wanted to hear that I could sit at the behind two teenagers on a bus. And it would be a hell of a lot more entertaining. But they also play their lives out in real life. Nooooo. I want to pick up Heat and them circling Peaches Geldof’s big stupid face in their hoop of horror, not who’s going back out with each other on the sodding Hills. I don’t care, they are all repulsive little nonce-provokers ho share their IQ with their shoe size. 90210 and The OC are also laughable. The OC just made me ask myself why is there a thirty year old pretending to be a teenager and who is fitter Seth or Sandy? I didn’t care about the teenage alchoholic. Lightweight. The pretty one who went out with Seth annoyed me due to the fact she had a lovely wee face but a voice that made me want to find a rifle and a clocktower before marking innocent people as my targets. I haven’t even considered sitting through a 90210. The endurance. I don’t think after being subjected to ‘The Hills’ or ‘The OC’ my poor frail body or mind could take it. Instead of addressing realistic problems, they opt for pretty princesses who have been cut off by their parents or like um what dress to totally wear for prom. So thanks channel four. Thanks for your ridiculous exports which are the television equivalent to a kick in the stomach by someone a thousand times better looking than you. Thanks for your efforts of trying to realte to us and failling miserably due to the sheer fantasy that you have created for yourselves. Either that or you’re just plain stupid. You can point at the government all you want-I blame channel four. Illustration Bob Palmer
A quick natter with ex testicicle trendy folkster Dev Hynes on his favourite top 5 pieces of graphic novel brilliance. /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// 1. David Boring – Daniel Clowes I read it at least 3 times a year, the pacing is just spot on. David Boring changed my life!
4. Sleepwalk – Adrian Tomine Either that or summer blonde [by the same author]
2. Black Hole – Charles Burns It took him over 10 years to finally finish it, it’s great.
5. Spiderman series where he finds out that the mary jane he’s married is a clone Drawn by John Romita Jr? That story line is literally next level, blows my mind.
3. Madman (second series) – Mike Allred It’s the ultimate 90’s generation slacker comic book.
GORILLA OVERBITES so youíve probably seen this recipe before. moms make it for kids cuz its like 90% healthy and it makes em feel good since theyíre not pumping their offspring with (yummy) preservatives for once. and kids like it cuz of the 10% artificial part; marshmallows... delicious right? anyway this recipe is usually found in cookbooks written for 7 year olds with below average motor skills and called ìpeanut butter kissesî or ìapple smilesî or something weak like that. but i think those names suck. so i re-named them ìgorilla overbitesî ooh-ooh-ooh ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
INGREDIENTS - 1 apple - 1 jar of peanut butter - 1 bag of mini marshmallows - 1 knife
DIRECTIONS 1. go get supplies; one apple, some peanut butter and a bag of mini marshmallows. big ones work too if you have 2 hours spare time to slice them into mini marshmallows. speaking of cutting, youíll need a knife. i didnít have a cool one but if you have a machete or something, go for it. 2. slice up the apple into a bunch of pieces. by the way for all you history buffs this is what the colonists refer to as “wedges”. cute huh? 3. spread peanut butter one-sided on each apple slice then lay them flat on a plate. i did them in angry sun formation cuz i was feeling artistic but you can do it any style you wantoptional optional optional 4. at this point youíre supposed to gently place marshmallows on the peanut butter so they look like jacked up teeth but this takes a really long time so i say just pour the bag on top and hope for the best. 5. grab 2 pieces and smoosh them together like they’re a teeth. then hold em up to your mouth and get all up in your friends grills like as if you were a monkey. when you’re bored of annoying everyone, you can eat. oh and bonnapateetz!!! ps that’s french by lovisa the intern
XOX TEES
Those familiar with the recent ‘Orange Unsigned Band,’ programme on T4 cannot fail to have been impressed (however grudgingly) by the achievement of three Scottish acts reaching the final ten from an original entry of thousands. That’s three GLASGOW bands, in fact. Although it was ultimately Tommy Reilly who battled it out with Hip Parade for the winner’s prize, it was FANGS (myspace. com/fangsfangsfangs) who got my vote – well, several actually, but fat lot of good that did! With their contemporary adaptation of the retro ‘New Wave,’ / Glam looks together with their bass and synth driven disco-punk, they are the band that all selfrespecting Club Night promoters should be looking to if they aim to fill the dance floor. But that is only the tip of a very big musical iceberg drifting along the River Clyde. For a one-stop guide as to what is going on in and around this dear, green place you need look no further than the recent, superb compilation released by the forward thinking ART GOES POP label. Although based in Leeds they have a healthy – and as yet unexplained – interest in the Glasgow music scene. ‘The Glasgow School Of Art Goes Pop,’ album is a collection of twenty-two (yeah – count ’em, kids!) eclectic tracks from bands as diverse as YOKO, OH NO! (myspace. com/yokoohno) and PUNCH AND THE APOSTLES (myspace. com/punchandtheapostles. ) The former rides on a more ‘experimental,’ tip with bleeps, tweaks, Gameboy noises and on this particular track, a vocal performance akin to that of John Cooper Clarke. The latter on the other hand, give a modern
and dramatic twist to stereotypical Romany / Spanish and French ‘traditional,’ music. Not only that, but throw in a little bit of jazz with a punk attitude and you’re maybe getting close to a feel for this extraordinary band that is receiving much critical acclaim. It’s all a bit over the top, but lots of fun! Then there are THE HIDDEN MASTERS (myspace. com/ hiddenmasters) who play pretty much in the same ballpark as London based The Draytones. There’s a definite psychedelic Sixties feel about much of their music, and the influence of Jim Morrison and The Doors is quite apparent. GUMMY STUMPS – what a brilliant name for a band! – (myspace.comthegummystumps) play a rather unique, bass driven punk with gruff, almost spoken vocals. In a similar vein, both in terms if quality name and style of music, MING MING AND THE CHING CHINGS (myspace. com/mingmingthechingchings) are one of my ‘recommended’ bands. Their music does not have the ‘dark,’ feel of Gummy Stumps and as they have their own percussionist / saxophonist the songs fairly bounce along. Their stage shows are high- energy affairs, bordering on the chaotic and with their music reflecting influences like The Cramps then you can be assured of a hot and sweaty set guaranteed to coax the punters away from the bar and onto the floor. So far I’ve mentioned only six bands from the twentytwo featured on the AGP Compilation. Word-count sadly restricts just how much can be said here about the CD which is a great shame as it highlights and reflects
so accurately the present live music vibe of this city. There just isn’t a single weak track on this album, but special mention should be made of POPUP (myspace. com/popuptheband). This is a band that seems to have been round the local and UK scene for ages but have not attracted the attention they so fully deserve. Now I know that to many, bands that sing in broad Scottish accents can easily become tiresome. I’m thinking The View and The Fratellis here. But please don’t tar all such bands with the same brush. POPUP utilise their native West of Scotland dialect to excellent effect in a more ‘storytelling,’ manner. And of course sarcasm, irony and a deadpan, dry sense of humour are duly accentuated by its application. Listen to ‘Lucy What You Trying To Say,’ on the band’s My Space player if you don’t believe me. Tying in nicely with the bands featured on the AGP album is WINNING SPERM PARTY - a non-profit open community of people who put on shows around Glasgow and make available free downloads of the bands who form the ‘collective. ’ (A link to their main website and some of the downloads can be found at myspace. com/winningspermparty) Nestling amongst a fantastic ‘roster,’ of bands are three who are featured on the AGP Compilation: TRIPLE SCHOOL; DIRTY SUMMER and PLAAYDOH, which serves to illustrate just how well the DIY ethos can be made to work. Away from the punk / artrock vibe, BARN OWL (myspace. com/barnowltheband) paint atmospheric but loud and danceable soundscapes with plenty reverb, handclaps, glockenspiel and considered application of feedback. As you may probably guess, I could rabbit on and on about how great the music scene is here in Glasgow; about how many new small (but perfectly formed) venues have sprung up and more importantly about how enthusiastic the city is as a whole to embrace ‘new music.’ However, I really must go now and get myself a ‘life!’
But before I do, here are three bands I thoroughly recommend checking out and passing on - your mates will be astounded by your astute musical judgement! POST STALL (myspace. com/poststall) is a young, recently formed band from Falkirk. As yet (early February 2009) they have still to make their ‘live,’ debut, but their rough ‘demo,’ as featured on their My Space page has met with favourable comment from several respected sources. The four songs available differ sufficiently from each other to show a burgeoning versatility. Even at this very early stage they must be considered a decent ‘long shot,’ for success. PLAAYDOH (myspace. com/plaaydoh) as mentioned above are part of the WSP collective and played their first show in mid-February 2008. Sounding like an unstable and really pissed-off version of The Go! Team with ADHD, they have steadily grown in stature and reputation and their ‘first anniversary,’ was recently celebrated with a Live Session on Radio One. PAPER PLANES (myspace. com/glasgowpaperplanes) are in my book ‘the band most likely to succeed,’ in 2009. Formed in early 2008, they only played their first show in April last year and overcame a forced and prolonged hiatus when vocalist Jen returned to her native New Jersey over the summer months. Now with everything settled and already featured in Artrocker magazine, they have lined up a string of gigs as they set out to show just what they are all about: that is guitar based indie / artrock tinged with a dark surf feel that effortlessly crosses over the boundaries of postpunk. Jens vocals are sultry but powerful, like a young Andrea Zollo (Pretty Girls Make Graves) and overall Paper Planes will appeal to a broad cross-section of both the Underground and Commercial markets. So there you have it. Tommy Reilly may have won a £60k recording contract, but he’s certainly got competition from within his own city. And already it’s apparent that he’s fighting with one hand tied behind his back..... his name doesn’t begin with the letter ‘P!’ Colin Jackson
NME Tour, Glasgow Academy, 31/01/09 Same old Glasvegas gigs, same old, ‘Here we, here we, here we fucking go!’ chants. The only difference being that when Glasvegas play their home town, the crowd are singing the Go Square Go! refrain while the other bands are on as well. Eek. It’d take a brave man to come on to cheers for a different and still perform with undeniable brilliance. Which is perhaps why NME haven’t put a man on first, they’ve put on an otherworldly creature called Florence Welch, a.k.a. Florence and the Machine, and she’s more than up for the challenge. Despite the fact that when she first comes out there are only about 50 people there to see her, she’s not fazed, and instead looks delighted. “I could learn all your names in about five minutes!” she exclaims, before announcing, “Hi, I’m Florence”, and launching into a spell-bindingly brilliant set that’s only about half an hour long, but, with songs such as ‘Girl With One Eye’ and new song ‘Hunter’, leaves us all desperately excited for the debut album. Shame it’s not due out until May. Next on is a band whose debut album is most definitely out (and at number one in the album charts, don’t you know). White Lies’ melancholic post-punk is a stark contrast to Florence’s sparkly pop tunes, but it is perhaps this that makes them so striking, as they stride moodily onstage, and are straight into ‘Unfinished Business’. Their chart success means that they don’t have to fight to win over the crowd to-
night, but they play an outstanding set nonetheless. Believe the hype? Most certainly. Another band for whom the hype has been rife is Friendly Fires, but they’re clearly not affected by that live. With exceptional versions of ‘Paris’ and ‘Jump in the Pool’, it’s easy to see why they’ve been the crowd’s favourite band on every other night of this tour – their captivating onstage presence will capture the heart of even the moodiest Glasvegas fan. However, even the most ambitious of bands would have to admit that there’s no way on earth that they’ll be able to upstage Glasvegas in their home town. Even the more obscure songs in their set (‘Fuck You, It’s Over’ from their limited edition Christmas album) are treated like Number One singles, and every word is screamed along accordingly. It’s truly awe-inspiring to see how far Glasvegas have come in the space of a year, last January they were playing venues like the Ruby Lounge, and now they can sell out Glasgow Academy, a venue that holds two and a half thousand people. As they finish with a surprisingly tender acoustic version of ‘SAD Light’, and a life-affirming rendition of ‘Daddy’s Gone’, you feel that this is a brilliant start to the New Year for the Glaswegians, and the only way seems to be up, with no sign of ever stopping. Same time next year folks? Emily Bancroft
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MY FAVOURITE TRACK
Fab (The Kabeedies) My favourite song is ‘Nutrocker’ by B.Bumble and The Stingers. It’s like a skiffle-rock’n’roll take on the nutcracker which was written by a classical dude that people who have any idea about music would be able to name. My 70 Year Old aunty played me it when i first said i wanted to be in a band and it helped me fall in love with rock and roll music, it’s got a sweet drumbeat all the way through coupled with rock’n’roll piano and it’s a cracking tune to whack on in the car. Also good as a post-kylie kitchen-dancing comedown tune... never set foot in my house.
Josh Weller Fred Astaire can dance. So I am jealous. This song was in a film called Easter Parade in the 40’s, and it’s one of my favourite films. I used to sneak downstairs on saturday mornings and watch my grandparent’s musicals, because I wasn’t allowed to watch TV on weekends, as it was ‘God’s day’, and apparently God doesn’t like television. Maybe he’s more of an ipod man. Irving Berlin wrote this song, and it’s basically one of the best pop songs ever. Very witty, classy, bouncy, the words are sexy; about a guy looking forward to a date, who as far as I can tell, wants to do the naughty with her TONIGHT. It was written in a time where songs could be clever and catchy at the same time. Nowadays you pretty much have three and a half minutes, have to sing about something everyone can ‘relate’ to. Steppin’ Out is basically a song with loads of spunk and it feels really warm, and catchy, and little bit seedy at the same time. Which is always good; a dirty song dressed up in a clean suit.
ANSWERING MACHINE TOP TEN TIPS 1.) The obvious tip would be ‘don’t eat yellow snow’ but as that has all melted now we’ll kick off with this: In this time of recession pop a few tea bags in your hot water tank and you can make a hot cuppa anytime by just turning on the tap. 2.) Like music? Like the internet? Why not impress your friends and download the Dutch Uncles album from the world famous i-tunes store. 3.) When writing your own ‘top tips’ at home remember. Include enough earnest entries on the list to validate the premise, but don’t forget to be wacky! (See tips one and two for details.) 4) Read Martin Amis. He will change your life. 5.) Many of you will be taking exams in the not to distant future, if you’re thinking of doing this don’t! Form a band instead.
6.) In 24 years of life no one told me this: Don’t copy and paste using the mouse, instead press Ctrl C (to copy) and Ctrl V (to paste) just a little bit of wisdom that makes our time here easier. 7.) Get all your friends into standing at the Manchester Apollo, simply buy two standing tickets and the rest sitting. You and your friend go in together, take his/her ticket and go look at the merch entering standing with another friend. Repeat the process until your all on the barrier. 8.) Think bearded men in wooden huts are uncool? Not ‘tasty’ enough? Think again Buy the Bon Iver Album. 9.) Stop Twittering and talk to your friends (Oooooh Political) 10.) If you buy one single on March 9th... It should probably be ‘Cliffer’ by us The Answering Machine, your friendly neighbourhood indie band.