Happiness and how you healed me
growt h Don't leave me lonely like a seed buried in warm soil only to have been untouched by a necessary shower of love. have you not realized you have been blinded by your own lust? as you release onto your sheets of desperation, you no longer think of her. you roll over and think of me. i know i wasn't the one you aimed to deflower, but i am a sunflower, after all. when something is good for me, i will turn to it. don't let us wilt.
WRITTEN BY: Sam Jaramillo
" They
say love may make you blind, but I wouldn't mind at all." - Spring Awakening
The moment you asked me to play with your hair, I felt as though my fingertips had a purpose greater than any other. My hands were special and powerful. I knew I held the right touch, and I wanted nothing but to give you the greatest pleasure.
you left me breathless
eyes closed/ / nothing but hands/ /
explore...
explore.....
i felt your beautiful body as you tenderly caressed mine. exployou grazed your hands over my flaws and insecurities, and made me feel wanted.
...............
as You wish
Somet imes i wonder how i can be so na誰ve when i look at Your face and hope You never leave everyt hing in Your soul cont inues t o make me whole please don't let me go please don't let me drift please help me st ay wit h You for as long as You wish
it's crazy to think... about how depressed i was. i spent entire afternoons screaming at myself, trying to stop myself from scratching off my skin until i bled through my clothes. then i would scream some more, disappointed in myself. calling myself an attention seeker. why would i do something like this? i never understood it.
i said/ / don't do it, sam/ / it's not worth it, sam/ / you're better than this, sam/ / don't be weak, sam// don't be// don't// don't// don't// don't/ / DON'T/ / / / / / /
but i would always give in. i used to bite my nails short in case i tried to scratch myself again. i couldn't even trust myself. but ever since i discovered you, i've let them grow out.
without a second thought.
i have been engulfed by happiness
it's so undeniably real
I want to kiss you all day. I want to start at dawn. I want our mouths to dry out by breakfast. I want our j aws to start cramping by noon. I want us to question our decision to kiss all day by hour five. I want to have sex really quickly then seriously stop all this kissing bullshit because you need your personal space, apparently.
- Bo Burnham
we both had our own issues and struggles/ / we were crazy together/ / but our insanity didn't stand a chance/ / when it was just you and i/ / with a joint to help us fill the void/ / remember when we got high every day for/ / a whole week?/ / we laughed/ / we kissed/ / we made love/ / it was one of the best weeks of my life/ / even though we realized weed will never solve our problems/ / it sure helped us grow/ / i love You.
You have Healed me I n ways so unimaginable. i have no way of knowing How i ran into such a beautiful Piece as You.
reading it all back, it seems so cheesy/ / so cliche/ / but baby we are far from cliche/ / we have something/ / and even if we part ways in the future/ / i wont regret what we had/ / what we did/ / i wont regret making this zine/ / because you healed me/ / you made me happy/ / i can now look at life right in the face and say/ / "i can and will succeed"/ / this is a thank you/ / although i honestly hope you never see this/ / you probably will one day/ / so hello/ / i love you/ / forever.
the day You took me to the aquarium/ / i took only one picture/ / and it was of this fish/ / only to find out later that it is a poisonous lion fish/ / i always found beauty in the most dangerous things/ / maybe that's why it took me so long to realize that i loved You/ / You're the safest haven i know/ / my home away from home/ /
whoever said that happiness was a choice has never been depressed a day in their life.
all photos are mine except for the front and back cover Frida Kahlo 's "A Few Small Nips"(Unos Cuantos Piquetitos) and Vincent Van Gogh's "Almond Blossom" as well as a few stock photos i pulled from Google. (flowers,hands,seashells,etc..)
sam.jar96@gmail .com