Parenting in the Pines

Parenting Pines IN THE

We Can Be Heroes

BY AMANDA ODEN

WHEN I FOUND OUT I WAS HAVING MY SECOND

CHILD I WAS SO EXCITED! My husband and I had talked about eventually expanding our brood to include a playmate for our daughter Bowie Opal, so while the timing was a surprise, the pregnancy wasn’t unplanned. I had my heart set on a second girl and was honestly a little disappointed when our ultrasound tech announced that Baby No. 2 was of the male variety.

Often, when I told someone I was having a boy, I would get encouragement like “Oh boys, they just adore their mamas!” So, I started to get excited. I mean, Bowie was an equal opportunist and she vacillated between my husband and me depending on her mood, never really choosing a favorite parent. But a mama’s boy? That was something to look forward to!

Arlo was born and I was all set for my instant bestie, but to my dismay, from the start, he was a daddy’s boy through and through. Don’t get me wrong, he loves me, but the child is happiest tagging along with my husband walking the dog, playing guitar, barbecuing dinner or wheeling the garbage cans to the curb for “Garbage Day.”

Garbage Day is always a big event in our household. Arlo makes sure to wake us all up at dawn so we can post up in front of the living room window and get the best

view of the trash collector raising and dumping first our garbage, then our recycling, into the hopper (a term I only know because my son is a garbage truck enthusiast). We all cheer when our bins are methodically set down and the truck moves onto the neighbors.

At the very beginning of the COVID pandemic (2 years ago now), Garbage Day became even more important for our family. We adhered strictly to the quarantine guidelines and isolated like it was our job. My husband and I were desperate to entertain our toddlers, and trash collection day became our Superbowl. We’d sit on the front steps and cheer as the truck made its way through our cul-de-sac. Our trash on the receiving end of his affection, I laughed and said, “And who’s your favorite guy?” fully expecting him to say “Daddy” because, I mean, that’s his icon.

But Arlo didn’t say Daddy. He didn’t say Opa, his grandfather he absolutely adores. He didn’t even say Blippi, the television character he watches every day and sometimes dons orange glasses and suspenders to emulate. Without missing a beat, Arlo said, “Tony,” meaning the trash collector.

My husband’s face fell for a second. He obviously thought Daddy was going to be the answer. We made a quick joke about loyalty and proceeded with our routine—dinner, bath, pajamas, teeth the trash bag in his other hand and tells the two big kids to grab onto the trash bag. Once all of their palms are touching the bag, they begin the short but timeconsuming shuffle to the trash bin.

As they inch down the driveway at a snail's pace, my husband looks a little exasperated, lugging our almost 30-pound baby while supervising the trash removal services of two toddlers. But my kids are as happy as can be! Even the baby is giggling, pleased to be included in the adventure.

Next, they wheel the big trash cans from the side of the house down to the curb. My husband, while still holding our extremely heavy and squirmy baby, grabs the can by the handles and begins

I can tell my husband is irritated. “Helping” in this instance means taking three times as long and we are already behind on our bedtime schedule.

But he is patient with them ... and tells them to “throw your shoes on, quickly please!”

collector was the best—honking and waving, doing donuts on our little street to impress our kiddos. I still get choked up when I think about how happy those little moments made us during such a scary time. Garbage Day is also sacred to me because after our third child, Indy, was born, Arlo was pretty upset with me for bringing home a new baby and those early mornings watching the garbage truck were one of the few times he’d let me snuggle up to him.

Because of a very brief but apparently impactful segment on his favorite show Blippi, Arlo thinks all garbage collectors are named Tony. Which is why whenever he sees a garbage truck he yells “Thank you trash truck. Have a good day, Tony!” We have explained over and over that not every trash collector is named Tony, to no avail, but admittedly, Blippi is very persuasive.

Last week Arlo was being super affectionate and out of the blue ran up and smooched me on the cheek, yelling “You’re my favorite girl!” Happy to be brushing. But that particular night was also the night before Garbage Day, so it’s a little different. Bowie and Arlo are responsible for condensing the bathroom trash cans while my husband wrangles the baby and cleans out the stinky diaper genie. I mostly just laugh and try to stay out of the way.

Bowie and Arlo then work together to load the blue recycling tote into their Radio Flyer wagon making it easier to wheel from the back porch to the bin. Once all the bags are tied tightly and the recyclables are collected, my husband is ready to get everything outside and down to the curb. This task should realistically take about three minutes but then my 3- and 5-year-olds ask to “help.”

I can tell my husband is irritated. “Helping” in this instance means taking three times as long and we are already behind on our bedtime schedule. But he is patient with them, more so than I would probably be, and tells them to “throw your shoes on, quickly please!” He grabs the baby in one arm and scoops to roll it down the driveway. The older kids grin widely at each other and get to work “helping” their dad by pushing the trash can from behind with all their might. My husband realizes how absurd they all look and starts laughing and the kids are cackling too.

I ran in the house to grab my phone so I could snap a quick picture. I wanted to document this silly little moment, not for Instagram or their baby books, but for my husband. Because someday their interest in “helping with the trash” will dwindle but I’d like him to see the way they look up at him adoringly. Their love for Tony runs deep, but there’s no denying who their favorite guy really is. SP

$ Moolah

SHEREE LANCASTER STAR OF THE PINES WEALTH MANAGEMENT

About My Finances ... Can We Not?

WE’RE NEARLY HALFWAY THROUGH 2022 ALREADY AND LOOK WHAT HAS HAPPENED.

Just when COVID seemed to be easing in the U.S. (even though some parts are still in lockdown mode), we hear it’s spreading again in Asia. Supply chain delays have caused disruptions in every part of retail, Ukraine is being attacked, gas prices have shot through the roof, and inflation is rampant, making everything more expensive.

With all this going on, you might be thinking, “Maybe I should stop contributing to my 401K. That would be extra money in my checking account. Maybe I should use my savings to offset. I mean I have to. I am living the same life here. Or maybe I’ll just put the extra costs on my credit card ….”

STOP right there, and hear me out. Yes, the going is getting tough, but you are tough too, right? Yes you are!

Here is the truth: Now is the best time for you, me, everyone to buckle down and do some good old fashioned straight-from-your-grandparents adulting techniques.

Cut Out the Superfluous

Yes, costs are higher. Inflation is up and your normal life, well, it costs more now. So, get smarter. Think outside of the box and start looking for ways to save. Get better at adulting.

Do you need to go buy $6 coffee every day? No. Do you really need anything new? Not really, to be honest. But if you do, you can get creative. Be thrifty, bargain shop, eat more at home. It’s healthier anyhow. Take-out, snacks, soda, now is the time to ask yourself, “Do I really need all these things, or can I go without them?” Can you change your lifestyle? I think you can.

Create a Budget

Budgeting, yup it works. Perhaps you’ve tried in the past and it never seemed to work, but I’m willing to bet that’s because every month’s expenses are not the same. Part of budgeting is being realistic and adjusting to the ebb and flow of your yearly spending. Here are a few tips: • Be real, round up. If your power bill is $156.63, make it $170.00. Now, pull up your last 12 months of bills online and plan each month of the year for a “rounded up” amount. That will help give you a cushion each month. Granted, this takes some time and effort, but it will pay off for you. • Birthdays. Don’t forget to add them. My month is

August in our house. Seriously, I think everyone in my life was born in August! So, plan ahead on what you want to spend and for whom. Budgets aren’t just for necessities. They’re for enjoying life, too. • Big picture. Starting to see a pattern? Budgets are not for a month. They’re for a year. Go ahead and add 11 more pages, my friend. • Add savings to your bills. Be sure that one of those

“bills” you line item for is a savings or investment account. Pay yourself. Keep saving every month, even if it’s a small amount that you think won’t make a difference. It will. Your future you will thank you. • Pet friendly. For the pet lovers out there, add them.

They have bills, too. The vet is every 6 months and remember all the extras like flea and tick treatment, toys, food, etc. • Cut excess. Take an honest look at what you have been spending your money on. Is it worth the hours it took you to earn that money? Start looking for the ways money trickles out of that checking account, or worse, how it is trickling up a credit card balance. Fix it. No one can be in control of this but you!

Invest Now

Do not stop investing for your future. One of the largest components of investing acumen is to buy low and sell high. That’s not for just those people buying and selling stock, it’s for everyone investing in the market. So keep that 401K contribution going. As a matter of fact, increase it if you can. As you add to your 401K in increments (and hopefully your company is matching), you are buying at a lower price when the market is down in value. That means when things go back up, and they will, you will own more shares. That makes your investment value grow faster. Do not stop investing for your future. One of the largest components of investing acumen is to buy low and sell high. That’s not for just those people buying and selling stock, it’s for everyone investing in the market.

Some Don’ts

Here is a list of the most typical “hard to avoid, but try everything not to do” financial moves in a tough financial time: • Don’t put it on a credit card. Don’t buy things with a credit card that you can’t pay off when the payment is due. It’s great to use cards for those points and promos, just be sure you are paying it off every month. Emergencies happen, yes.

But be sure it’s an actual emergency. • Don’t skip bills or payments. This is one of the worst things you can do to your credit. It damages your credit worthiness. It takes years to build good credit and only a few missed payments to ruin it. • Don’t stop saving or investing. As

I mentioned above, now is the best time to save for your future and invest. As for savings, you want to avoid those emergency credit card charges by building up the savings balance. A little at a time. • Don’t overpay for things. A good financial habit is not to impulse buy. Shop around, compare prices and quality. Find the best deal on things by investing a bit of your time in finding the best price. And remember to ask yourself, “Do I need this right now?” • Don’t spend any tax refund on

“nothing.” That money is actually yours, that’s why you got it back.

You worked for it. So back to the budgeting, be sure what you spend it on is worth the time it took you at work earning it.

If this article hit you like a brick in the stomach, then it’s time for change. Take action. If you need advice or help, go talk to an advisor. Don’t forget, you live in America. The home of the free and the brave. You got this! We all do!

Affiliated with Capital Investment Advisory Services, LLC. Securities offered through Capital Investment Group, Inc. Member FINRA/SIPC, 100 E. Six Forks Road, Ste. 200, Raliegh, NC 27609 919.831.2370