Parenting in the Pines

Parenting Pines IN THE

Unicorn Wishes

BY AMANDA ODEN

MY OLDEST CHILD has a birthday coming up—a milestone, if you will. She is turning 5, half a decade, and I have turned into a weepy nostalgic mess anytime the subject is brought up, which is a lot, because Bowie is so excited to be a bonafide big kid that she won’t stop talking about it. The other day she used the phrase “when I was a child” while explaining something to her little brother and I got the giggles, which was followed by a quick bout of crying because how did she get so big, so fast? And just where did all that time go, anyway?

I remember the first week after we brought her home from the hospital. How sharp, jagged and dangerous everything seemed to me. I seriously avoided corners and door frames because I was terrified of bonking her perfect little head. I’d lie down with her on our big bed and before I knew it an entire hour had passed and all I’d done in that time was to marvel at her tiny fingers and toes. She didn’t sleep at night and was often colicky. I’d spend long nights (so exhausted I swore even the hair on my head felt tired) rocking her in our bathroom, because for some reason the fan sound in that room was the only noise that would soothe her.

My husband and I are both big on birthdays, but decided early on that we wouldn’t give our kids birthday presents from us (they get plenty of those from their grandparents anyway). Instead, we would throw them really cool, often elaborate birthday parties. As a family, we get really enthusiastic about choosing a theme, figuring out decor and putting together fun menus.

For Bowie’s first birthday we had a Taco Bell themed fiesta complete with a “Taco Smash” because she used to say “yum” loudly from her car seat anytime we drove past a Taco Bell. Her second birthday was all about Cookie Monster. Her third, trolls. Fourth was a spooky design and party favors to select.

Yesterday, after falling down a particularly steep unicorn party theme rabbit hole on Pinterest, I discovered that you can actually RENT A UNICORN! For a (not totally unreasonable) fee, you can pay someone to dress up their pony as a magical unicorn. They will bring said pony to your backyard, and your kids and all their friends can RIDE A UNICORN! Can you imagine how excited she would be, if a unicorn came clomping around our pergola? I brought it up to my husband and his response was, “That’s pretty extra, even for you,” so I know I’m a bit out of my

My neighbor was older and her children were grown. She was a parent far away from the newborn trenches I was in, and she said something to me that I brushed off at the time, but that gives me pause now that my baby is not in fact a baby anymore.

She said, “The days are long, but the years are short.”

After one particularly demanding night with no sleep, I was complaining to a neighbor about how tired I was and how I felt like I was so exhausted but wasn’t really accomplishing anything, just holding a baby all day and night. My neighbor was older and her children were grown. She was a parent far away from the newborn trenches I was in, and she said something to me that I brushed off at the time, but that gives me pause now that my baby is not in fact a baby anymore. She said, “The days are long, but the years are short.”

And now, after five very long and simultaneously short years, we are going to celebrate! Halloween theme, which was especially odd because she has a September birthday. But it was what she wanted, and it was her day, so I broke out the spiders and skeletons.

This, her fifth year on the planet, is going to be all about unicorns, because “I just love animals with magic and horns on their heads.” I’ve tried to explain that unicorns aren’t actually a real animal to no avail. “If I believe in them enough, then they do exist” is a type of logic that is actually really hard to argue with.

We’ve spent a lot of time coming up with cake ideas and trying to decide between a balloon wall or a photobooth. There are invitations to depth here.

But then I started thinking. It’s been a rough year, and my kids showed more grace than I could have ever imagined. My daughter is amazing. It’s almost as if I dreamed up exactly the sort of daughter I’d like to have and she just appeared (with maybe a touch more sass than ordered). She’s only going to be filled with this much magic and wonder for a short time.

The days are long but the years are short. We’re renting the unicorn.

SP