Love Advice

Spring is getting ready to do its thing. We can’t tell if love is in the air or if we’ve just had too many conversation hearts, but we definitely have relationships on the brain lately. ¶William Shakespeare famously wrote, “The course of true love never did run smooth,”and boy was he correct! Whether you have been in a relationship for decades or are just starting out with a new special someone, relationships often leave us with more questions than answers.¶ We decided to put together a panel of experts. A wise group of children (all under the age of 8) and a spritely group of seniors (all gracefully marching toward the age of 80) who have generously offered to share their expertise on all things amore.

is a lot like a backache: it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there. —George Burns

What is a good gift to give someone you love?

• A dragon toy. - Coraline, age 4.5 • A bunny. - Alek, 5 • A wedding ring. - Mickey, 7 • Maybe a puppy or a small cow. -Bowie, 3 • A surprise trip to New Orleans. - Judie, it’s not polite to ask a woman her age • Easy, jewels. My wife would always say jewels. - Craig, age none of your business • There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

How long should you wait before a first kiss?

What should you say to resolve an argument with your significant other?

Is it alright to hold hands/kiss in public?

What is a fun place to take someone on a date?

• When you are in love. - Coraline, age 4.5 • A thousand years. - Alek, 5 • Until you’re about 20. - Mickey, 7 • 11 days.- Bowie, 3 • Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

• Everyone needs to calm down. - Coraline, age 4.5 • Sorry. -Alek, 5 • I’m sorry, OK, I love you. - Mickey, 7 • Maybe say, “I’m sorry you were mad at me?” - Bowie, 3 • Sorry ... followed by a kiss. - Eve, age ain’t nothin’ but a number • Whatever. - Carol, age is a state of mind • Thank you ma’am, may I have another? - Craig, age none of your business • Only time can heal your broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs. - Miss Piggy • My wife, Mary, and I have been married for 47 years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never. -Jack Benny

• No. - Coraline, age 4.5 • Yes. - Alek, 5 • Nod.- Mickey, 7 • Yes. - Bowie, 3 • Yes. - Carol, old enough to know better

• Like at a park. - Coraline, age 4.5 • Target for a slushie. - Alek, 5 • The beach! To snorkel! - Mickey, 7 • Play Escape. - Bowie, 3 • Sunrise Theater, with wine, of course. - Judie, didn’t-wear-a-bike-helmet-old

doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. —Franklin P. Jones

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?

• They can get married at the park so everyone knows they are married. - Coraline, age 4.5 • Rings. - Alek, 5 • They look mushy together. Wedding rings. And they’re out all close together. - Mickey, 7 • Because they eat cookies together. - Bowie, 3 • They move in different directions at social gatherings.-Carol, Adam West is the only real Batman • Watching a couple at a dinner table not engaging in conversation which I would never allow to happen. - Eve, actually learned cursive in school • If they fix each others hair and pick stuff off their clothes. - Judie, ridin’-in-the-back-of-the-station-wagon old

How do you decide who to marry?

Is it better to be single or married?

• Usually a boy that is handsome, like how my daddy is handsome. - Coraline, age 4.5 • Keep looking to see who you like more - Alek, 5 • Find someone you like who likes you for you. - Mickey, 7 • You just find someone special and they can give you their toys. - Bowie, 3 • First, they should always be a true friend. - Judie, older than the internet • You’ll know. - Carol, forever young • When I was young, it was generally accepted that here was one person on earth who was “right” for you and it would be love at first sight when you somehow found this person. Now I think that although there certainly is some compatibility and initial attraction required, a couple becomes the only ones for each other over time through accommodation, deep appreciation, respect, and lasting love. - Craig, wise beyond his years • Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important. - Carl Reiner • Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

• Be married. - Coraline, age 4.5 • Married. - Alek, 5 • Married, duuuh. - Mickey, 7 • Single AND married! - Bowie, 3 • Married, of course. - Judie, somewhere between 0 and 100. • I don’t know. I was never single. - Craig, older than cell phones

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is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination. —Voltaire

How do you make a marriage work?

• Like how Anna got married to Hans, he was a bad guy. But he had a handsome face. But she marries Kristoff because she was in love. (ed. note: plot of Frozen) - Coraline, age 4.5 • Shrug- Alek, 5 • You do stuff each other likes and by being in happy and harmony together. - Mickey, 7 • You could just get a pig or something like that. - Bowie, 3 • Kindness, consideration and respect. - Eve, Age is an issue of mind over matter; if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter • Sense of HUMOR, PATIENCE … and if Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. - Judie, old enough to give advice, but not old enough to take it • Respect and a sense of humor. - Carol, a lady never tells • No one ever “made” a marriage work. It has to remain in the present tense—“make.”It is everyday work that is never finished. - Craig, no comment • It’s not about finding fun things to do. It’s about finding someone in whose company, it’s all fun. -Robert Brault • Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke, and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome. - Jerry Seinfeld • Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.- Henny Youngman

What is the right age to get married?

What would you say to someone if you wanted to break up with them?

• 18. - Coraline, age 4.5 • 40. - Alek, 5 • About 29. You gotta make your life for you first. Then you can grow old together. - Mickey, 7 • 3 is really growed up. - Bowie, 3 • Not before 30. - Eve, Do past lives count? • 30 - Judie, In dog years or cat years?

• No thank you. I don’t want to be married to you. - Coraline, age 4.5 • I don’t like you anymore. - Alek, 5 • I don’t know—it depends on why I wanna break up for peace out?- Mickey, 7 • We should just get our purses and go fishing. - Bowie, 3 • When I want to end a relationship I just say, “You know, I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have your children.” Sometimes they leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner

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Garden

There are more than 6,000 earthworm species found on all the continents except Antarctica. The ancestor of all living earthworms probably lived more than 209 million years ago, making earthworms about as old as mammals and dinosaurs. Only a few are suitable for vermiculture, with the red wiggler as the mostoften used. This species is a leaf litter- or compostdwelling worm that is nonburrowing and lives at soil-litter interface, eating decomposing organic matter. Useful and Interesting Worm Facts If you are looking for a way to inspire a love of the earth in your children or grandchildren, create a low-maintenance hobby for your family members or just cut down on your kitchen waste, consider creating a worm bin. This process is known as vermiculture, and the rich byproduct of these resourceful creatures is called vermicompost. All you need to get started are two darkcolored plastic bins, some red-wiggler worms (Eisenia fetida), some bedding and food.

Drill holes in one bin and stack it inside the other. Add your worms. Buy them from a worm supplier rather than a bait shop to ensure that you get the correct species and enough to start your bin. Bedding can be made from shredded newspaper or cardboard or even fallen leaves. Feed the worms your left over vegetables (no meat or oil). Chop the food up into tiny pieces because worms have very small mouths. Also, add a bit of sand or cornmeal to help them grind the food, as they have no teeth. Complete instructions on building your bin, finding a worm supplier and maintaining your operation are available at the N.C. State Extension website, ces.ncsu.edu. A properly maintained worm bin can be kept in a spare room; it does not smell if you provide the correct food. A garage is also acceptable but the outdoors would be a problem in the hot summers of the Sandhills. Worms are not picky eaters, and any vegetable matter other than members of the onion (Allium) family will suit them. They will eat meat but it will attract flies to your bin. Also, a steady diet of highly acidic vegetables such as tomatoes will raise the pH level in your bin, so avoid a diet of only tomatoes. Charles Darwin was fascinated by earthworms and devoted his last book to the subject. He wrote, “It may be doubted whether any other animal has played so important a part in the history of the world, as these lowly organised creatures.” B Y LARRY ALLEN N.C. Cooperative Extension Service Master Gardener Volunteer

Important Facts! » Red wiggler worms , Eisenia fetida, may live up to four years in a Worm Farm (compared to one year in the wild), and will grow to a length of up to 3 inches. » Red worms can live in a wide range of temperatures. but are happiest at 55-70 degrees Fahrenheit. » Red worms are hermaphrodites—they have both male and female sexual organs—and reproduce quickly in confinement. Their population may double or triple in one year. » Red worms love fruit (besides citrus) and vegetables (except for onions). But avoid meat, egg shells, coffee grounds, tea leaves and oil.

Using Vermicompost Vermicompost can be used immediately or stored for later use. 1.It can be added to indoor or outdoor plants by placing 2 tablespoons of vermicompost per quart of potting mix around the base of a plant every two to four weeks. 2.When starting seedlings, add one part vermicompost

S P to four parts potting media. Before transplanting plants from small containers or flats to garden beds or larger pots, add 1/2 cup vermicompost to the hole for planting. 3.For transplanting larger plants, shrubs and trees, add 1 to 2 cups of vermicompost to the hole. 4.Vermicompost can be applied to new lawns and turf at a rate of 8 quarts (10 pounds) per 100 square feet and worked into 1 to 2 inches of topsoil. Top dress 6 quarts (7 pounds) of vermicompost per 100 square feet of established lawns.

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WE HAD TWO HUGE 30-foot cherry trees in front of our home in Rochester, New York. When we first moved in with our 18-month old son, we both were too busy to even think about harvesting those cherries, which we could reach from the lowest branches. By the time our lives allowed us some time to work in the yard, those branches were even with the second story windows, just out of reach from the porch roof. We were treated to a beautiful cherry blossom display every year and the birds enjoyed the fruit.

Growing up, my exposure to cherries was mostly limited to black cherry congealed salad with black cherries, pineapple chunks and maraschino cherries. For those unfamiliar with congealed salad, it is basically fruit or vegetables suspended in Jell-O. My dad was a great proponent of making things from scratch, particularly if it involved exotic equipment. In the ’60s, he made his own yogurt, baked bread and made rosin-baked potatoes (this was by far the Cherries

INGREDIENTS 1 tablespoon unsalted butter, room temperature, for greasing 1 1/4 cups whole milk 1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons granulated sugar 2 tablespoons kirsch or Cognac 1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract 6 large eggs Kosher salt 3/4 cup (3 1/2 ounces) all-purpose flour 3 cups (1 1/2 pounds) sweet red or black cherries, stemmed and unpitted (or substitute pitted) Confectioners' sugar, for dusting

Cherry Clafoutis Saveur Editors

IF YOU MIX PLENTY of black cherries into what may be best described as a slightly thick crêpe batter, you will have the makings of clafoutis limousin, a type of eggy cake from rural, southern central France that takes its name from clafir, a dialect word meaning “to fill.” It’s traditional to leave the pits in the cherries—to prevent the fruit’s bright juices from leaking into the custard—but the dish is no less delicious when made with pitted cherries.

DIRECTIONS Set a rack in the center of the oven and preheat to 425 F.

Grease a 9-inch cast-iron skillet or baking dish with butter and set aside.

In a blender, add the milk, granulated sugar, kirsch, vanilla, eggs and salt. Blend for a few seconds to mix, then add the flour and blend until completely smooth, about 1 minute. Pour the batter into the prepared skillet, then distribute the cherries evenly over the top.

Bake until a skewer inserted into the center comes out clean and a golden brown crust has formed on the top and bottom of the clafoutis, 35–40 minutes. Let the clafoutis cool to room temperature in the skillet. Dust with confectioners’ sugar, cut into wedges and serve.

Drum & Quill Cocktails + Kitchen

Hidden among the golf courses and tall pines of Old Town Pinehurst is a storied authentic American tavern - Drum & Quill. “Drum” represents famous golf writer Bob Drum and the “Quill” pen was what he used to immortalize Arnold Palmer as they founded Golf ’s Professional Grand Slam. W ith one of the area’s largest spirits collections paired with casual dining favorites, the authentic pub atmosphere is a cozy place to settle down with friends to enjoy a classic cocktail or a bite to eat. Arnold Palmer & Bob Drum 1960

If you like your casual dining served with something shaken, stirred or on tap head to Drum & Quill.

messiest, involving a hot iron pot of rosin). One of the most successful things he did at home was make brandied fruit, especially cherries. He would fill a canister or jar with fruit macerated in a 50/ 50 mix of brown and white sugar, cover the fruit with brandy and close the jar, and let it sit in a cool place for at least two weeks. We used cherries and sometimes pineapple. I don’t remember doing peaches, but I grew up in Georgia, so there had to have been peaches sometimes. The beauty was that you could keep adding fruit as your supply dwindles, like a sourdough starter. There are two types of cherries, sweet and sour. Sweet cherries are what we eat as fresh cherries,

Cherry Chocolate Chip Cookies with Pistachios, Karen Caulfield

INGREDIENTS 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon salt 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened 3/4 cup granulated sugar 3/4 cup packed brown sugar 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 2 large eggs 2 cups (12 ounces) semisweet or bittersweet chocolate chips 1/2 cup chopped pistachios 1/2 cup chopped dried cherries

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 375 F. Combine flour, baking soda and salt in small bowl. Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla extract in large mixer bowl until creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in morsels and nuts and cherries. Drop by rounded tablespoon onto ungreased baking sheets. Bake for 9–11 minutes or until golden brown. Cool on baking sheets for 2 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely.

and there are two varieties: Bing, the dark red cherries, and Rainier, the blush color skins with yellow flesh. Sour cherries are mainly processed into canned, juice, dried and pie. The most common variety of these are Montmorency, a bright red cherry.

In the Sandhills, we are not blessed with fruiting cherries. Cherries require a little colder climate than out region enjoys. The main cherry producing areas in the United States are in the Northwest, Michigan and the Northeast. While just devouring a bowl of fresh cherries is maybe the best way to enjoy them, it’s also good to expand our culinary choices and see what else they can do.

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Grilled Pork Tenderloin with Cherry Salsa, Bon Appétit

INGREDIENTS

1 cup coarsely chopped fresh cilantro, divided 1/2 cup minced shallots, divided 6 tablespoons fresh lime juice, divided 1/4 cup vegetable oil 2 pork tenderloins, about 2 1/2 pounds total 1/2 pound fresh cherries, stemmed, pitted, halved 1 fresh Fresno chile, red jalapeño or Holland chile, thinly sliced crosswise 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper DIRECTIONS

Prepare a grill to medium-high heat. Combine 1/2 cup cilantro, 1/4 cup minced shallots, 4 tablespoons lime juice and vegetable oil in a resealable plastic bag. Add pork; seal bag and turn to coat. Marinate at room temperature for 15 minutes, turning occasionally.

Meanwhile, combine remaining cilantro, shallots, lime juice, cherries, chile and olive oil in a medium bowl. Season salsa lightly with salt and pepper and set aside to let flavors to meld.

Remove tenderloins from marinade and season generously with salt and pepper.

Grill, turning frequently, until a thermometer registers 145 F, about 15 minutes. Let rest 10 minutes. Cut into thin slices and serve with salsa.

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