Parenting in the Pines

Parenting Pines IN THE

A 'Fooky' Fly

BY AMANDA ODEN

SPOOKY (or as my 2-year-old who has trouble pronouncing ‘s’ sounds would say, “Fooky”) season is upon us once again, and while my family will happily celebrate almost any holiday, Halloween has always really felt like our time to shine.

Our favorite Halloween tradition is coming up with original costumes. I personally enjoy the challenge of piecing together everyone’s getups with items I find at thrift stores or make myself. Occasionally we have to resort to store-bought, but even on those rare occasions, we usually find ways to personalize and embellish the costumes to really make them our own.

Last week, I found a cute little gray suit, a red bow tie and tiny white wingtips at Goodwill so, because he is still too small to argue with me, our baby is going to dress up as Pee Wee Herman for our Halloween festivities this year.

My oldest child, Bowie, has decided she would like to Trick or Treat as a narwhal. Not a princess or a witch, but a lumpy whale with a tusk. I’m going to need all the creativity and probably a good bit of caffeine in order to cobble together her Halloween ensemble.

But my middle child Arlo is the one own flyswatter to brandish didn’t solve the problem either.

We tried explaining how much bigger he was than a fly, but the thing about fears is that they are pretty persistent, and don’t always lend themselves to reasoning. It can be hard not to get frustrated sometimes when he’s shrieking about something he could easily squash like, well, a bug. But my husband and I try to remind ourselves that just because his fear is unfounded it doesn’t make it less valid.

Needless to say, I was a bit skeptical him the most! I hugged him and let him know how brave it is just to admit you’re afraid of something. And how proud I was of his courage.

I also reminded him that no matter how scary something is, we’d always be there to help him get through it as a family. And then I promptly got to work researching the best DIY wing and antennae ideas for what will hopefully be the “fookiest” fly costume ever.

SP

When Arlo sees a fly, his legs freeze up, he shuts his eyes tightly and proceeds to scream bloody murder. His fear of flies makes dining on the patio of a restaurant a scarcity and also makes us pretty much ...

whose costume request really threw me for a loop. He has opted to masquerade as a fly.

A fly is probably an odd choice for a toddler under normal circumstances, but the reason that this costume request gave me pause is because Arlo is deathly afraid of flies. It’s not like he just doesn’t care for them or thinks they are gross or annoying. No. When Arlo sees a fly, his legs freeze up, he shuts his eyes tightly and proceeds to scream bloody murder. His fear of flies makes dining on the patio of a restaurant a scarcity and also makes us pretty much everyone's least favorite people to invite on a picnic.

The first time he saw a fly and had a meltdown I chalked it up to needing a nap. But his aversion continued and our suggestions of waving his hands around and singing “Shoo Fly” didn’t really do much to help. Giving him his when he asked to dress up as a fly for Halloween. I prodded a little, partially because I wanted to make sure this was what he wanted before I wasted time or money coming up with a costume he wouldn't be happy with, but mostly because I was curious why he didn’t choose Blippi or a dinosaur or something he actually liked?

His answer surprised me. He said,“Flies are scary and I want to be a brave boy.”

It reminded me of something one of my favorite authors, Glennon Doyle, recently posted about overhearing a family next to her at the grocery store. The dad said to his kid: “Well, it’s brave to go on a roller coaster. And it’s also brave to say you don’t want to go on a roller coaster.”

Here was my sweet toddler, wanting to be brave so badly that he was confronting the thing that terrified

... everyone's least favorite people to invite on a picnic.