Jody Lee Cates
Emotional Tune-Up Staying healthy in times of stress
Professional artist Amanda Gomes knew her emotions were stretched to the limit when she faced off with her 12-yearold son with a genetic anomaly over an art project he refused to complete. “Art is my passion,” Gomes explains, “and we’ve had fun doing it together since he was a little boy.” But this project was different. Gomes found herself not in the role of a mother sharing a passion with her son, but a de-facto teacher struggling with an uncooperative student to produce an assigned outcome with a looming deadline. She fought back tears of anger and frustration. “It surprised me that I got so upset,” Gomes says. “It felt like one more thing COVID took from us. It sucked the joy right out of me.” As scenes like this play out across the county, families with disabilities are experiencing more emotional strain than ever. With homes turned into classrooms, in-person connections going virtual, and resources more difficult to access, parents are finding themselves in a perfect storm for emotions like frustration, anger, sadness, fear and loneliness. If you’re struggling to manage your emotions, you’re not alone. According to a U.S.-based SPARK survey of the impact of COVID-19 on families and children with Autism, 97 percent of parents or caregivers report feeling stressed or overwhelmed due to disruptions in Autism-specific services or therapies, and 95 percent of parents indicate that COVID-19 has negatively affected their mental health. As restrictions and concerns continue to impact how families live and learn,
parents are riding a wave of emotions while wrestling with circumstances beyond their control. Here’s how to manage your emotions and guard your mental health in turbulent times. Tune in to feelings. Cultivating good mental health starts with raising awareness of your internal thoughts and emotions. Take time to check in with yourself daily—both mentally and physically. Reflect on how you’re feeling by thinking about the highs and lows of your day, what you’re thankful for, and where you’d like to make changes. Keep a journal or talk with a trusted friend, partner or therapist. Even a few minutes of daily reflection is helpful to gain insight and perspective. Dr. Dana McNeil, licensed therapist and founder of The Relationship Place in San Diego, encourages parents to tune in to physical reactions to stress. Is your breathing shallow? Your pulse racing? Are you having difficulty thinking clearly? “This is your body telling you that your brain is being highjacked by cortisol and adrenaline,” says McNeil. “Frustration has impacted your ability to be present and make good decisions. Let these physical responses serve as a signal that it’s best to step away and take a break.” Prioritize self-care. Some parents feel guilty doing things for themselves when there are so many needs and tasks they could be doing for their children. Dr. McNeil stresses that parents must prioritize self-care, even when they feel like they don’t have time. “If you don’t,” she says, “you’re much more susceptible to being run down, short-tempered, less resilient, and not fully present when your children need you most.”
22 • SNRFSD.org • SanDiegofamily.com • flourishing families 2022
Stress-Busting Resources Unwinding Anxiety is an evidence-based app offering daily guidance for anyone suffering from anxiety. www.unwindinganxiety.com SPARK for Autism is working to advance understanding of Autism to help improve lives. www.sparkforautism.org Hope Comprehensive Center for Development takes a naturalistic and playbased approach to deliver a variety of therapies and services. www.hopeccd.com Mental Health America (MHA) offers a collection of free online screening tools to help individuals learn more about their mental health condition. https://screening.mha national.org/screening-tools The Relationship Place offers specialized counseling for parents. www.sdrelationshipplace.com
