Local Dads Share Parenting Wisdom

Thank you to these four local fathers, who responded to our call-out on social media for parenting input from a dad’s perspective. They even weighed in on a few article topics throughout the publication.

Mike Collins, Santee Dad to Max (9) and Jack (7 mos.)

Knowing what you know now, would you have done anything differently in the first year? I have been extremely fortunate to be home every day with my second son. This pandemic has blessed me with a work-fromhome schedule that allows me to spend more time with him and pick up little nuances that I didn’t experience with my firstborn. Knowing what I know now, I wish I could have been home more during my older son’s first years.

Adjusting to parenthood: It takes time, and it’s OK to learn as you go. Have patience and perseverance and you will be fine.

Dad involvement: Spend as much time with [babies and toddlers] as you can. Dads often miss out on this period of time. We aren’t given as much time off after the birth, if any, so make the most out of the time you do get.

Derek Restrepo San Marcos

Dad to Adrian (3)

Knowing what you know now, would you have done anything differently in the first year? I would have stressed out less about schedules. Even though having your child on a routine is great, I wish we would’ve just trusted our gut when it came to what our son needed (even when it wasn’t on schedule).

Dad involvement: My biggest advice to all new dads is get involved and learn as much as you can from day one. I learned how to change diapers, burp the baby and swaddle alongside my wife. Many dads fall into the trap of “she just does it better” and then never catch up. It’s important to take turns to become just as good at those things as your partner.

Bradley Johnson, San Marcos Dad to Camden (2) and Danika (6 mos.)

Knowing what you know now, would you have done anything differently in the first year? Pay more attention to my wife! Looking back, I could have been more helpful around the house. I underestimated how stressful early motherhood is on a woman’s body and mind. Comparatively, dads have it easy. I still don’t understand how my wife functions on a daily basis with the nurturing expectations on her.

Adjusting to parenthood: The biggest adjustment has been that there’s no “me” time with two kids under 2 years old. My wife and I do not have nearby family, so it can be a challenge at times. But the activities we do together as a family make it all worth it. I can’t imagine going back to a lifestyle where I have countless hours to myself.

Mike Cunningham Rancho Peñasquitos Dad to Isa (13), Cadence (5) and Evie (3)

What do you wish you had been told before having a baby? Don’t forget about your partner. If you’re frustrated, exhausted, feeling unloved, etc., your partner is probably feeling the same way. Whether you’re romantic with your partner or not, you’re a team and need each other’s support. This not only makes your relationship healthier, but your baby will reap the benefits, too.

Knowing what you know now, would you have done anything differently in the first year? It’s relatively easy to have a child, but it takes a concerted effort to be a good parent. “Good” is subjective, but what I mean is to be present—be mature enough to change your habits to accommodate your child, not the other way around. It took me a while to learn this.