Jody Lee Cates
Turn Words Into Action: CREATE A FAMILY ACTION PLAN FOR CHANGE For families who want to be part of the
change to end racial inequality, there’s never been a better time to create a family action plan. A thoughtful plan, built around empathy and compassion, equips parents and kids of all ages to turn words into action. Here’s how to create a plan to help your family become allies for justice and equality.
Embrace the learning curve.
Choosing to learn about social injustice and racism is one of the biggest first steps parents can make in the direction of positive change. Before getting too far into the issues “out there,” it’s helpful to start by looking inward–recognizing and examining our own family history. An honest assessment of where we’ve gotten things right, mistakes we’ve made or where we lack understanding sets the stage for growth and learning with children.
Understand the challenges.
Before creating a family action plan, it’s necessary to understand challenges inherent in social injustice. Silence Silence plays two parts in perpetuating racism. First, silent racism (sometimes referred to as covert racism), such as stereotyping and making broad statements and assumptions about a particular heritage or culture, keeps us locked into a harmful system of thought. Second, when we remain silent because talking about racism makes us uncomfortable, we miss opportunities to enter into conversations that lead to change. Explore the silences in your life. Call out instances of silent racism, such as questions concerning a child’s ability to learn or other assumptions based upon race. Talk to kids about how discomfort over a topic is not a reason to ignore it. Teach them that feeling uncomfortable or embarrassed about their lack of knowledge on an issue is a signal to learn more, not an alarm bell to stay silent.
24 • SanDiegofamily.com • August 2020
Color blindness Ignoring or overlooking ethnic differences does not promote racial harmony; it actually does the opposite. “Color blindness” closes our eyes to the experiences of others. If we can’t see the differences, we also can’t see the problems and challenges they face. Choose instead to build bridges between your family and other cultures by learning more about the richness and depth of the many hues that make up our world. Implicit bias We all carry implicit bias. It’s a natural and usually unconscious preference for (or aversion to) a particular group of people. We can’t change what we’re not aware of, so take time to examine and identify blind spots honestly. Notice how children pick up biases through facial expressions and body language. Be mindful of how biases are often subtly depicted in society through what psychologist Derald Wing Sue calls “microaggressions.” These are subtle, often nonverbal, slights and insults used to stigmatize people of color.
Michael Genhart’s Ouch! Moments: When Words Are Used in Hurtful Ways is a helpful resource that addresses microaggressions in kid-friendly terms. It also includes a “Note to Parents and Caregivers” by Kevin L. Nadal, Ph. D, who provides strategies for talking to children about hurtful language, discrimination and bias.
Be a family who advocates for change.
According to Teaching Tolerance magazine, being an ally means recognizing oppression broadly and standing in solidarity with anyone who experiences oppression. Activist and educator, Dr. Joy DeGruy adds, “To be anti-racist is to be an ally who uses their privilege and power to positively impact marginalized groups.” Standing in solidarity against oppression and positively impacting marginalized groups sound like lofty concepts. But there
