Positive Peer Pressure - How friends impact happiness

We often hear about the negative aspects of peer pressure, but friends can play a major role in providing encouragement and happiness. Positive peer pressure occurs when kids influence other kids to do something positive, proactive or productive. This encouragement often improves group or individual behavior and attitude, leading to positive change and growth. Positive peer pressure can influence both thoughts and actions. When children are inspired to think more positively about themselves and others, their outlook improves because it helps reduce or eliminate negative self-talk and low self-esteem.

Children are imitators from an early age—and studies show that happiness is contagious. A Harvard Medical School study found that one person’s happiness spreads through their social group even up to three degrees of separation. So, don’t just hope your children surround themselves with cheerful peers; encourage your children to be that person to others.

How Relationships Impact Happiness

Robert Waldinger, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and author of The Good Life: Lessons

from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness, followed the lives of people for more than 75 years and concluded that relationships are the key to a happier life. The happiest and healthiest participants in his studies maintained close relationships with others. According to Waldinger, people who are more isolated (than they want to be) are less happy and more susceptible to declining health than people who are connected to others. He also notes that it’s not about the quantity of friends; it’s the quality and stability of those relationships that really matter.

Why Friends Help Reduce Depression

According to recent data from the National Institute of Mental Health, over 20 percent of adolescents (ages 12–17) have had at least one major depressive episode. Even children as young as 3 are showing signs of depression, which leads to feelings of sadness, hopelessness, lack of motivation and interest, and more. One of the best ways for children to overcome feeling blue is to spend time with positive peers. Caring, upbeat friends can help improve mood and even beat depression. According to feedback from 2,000 American high school students, scientists found that depression does not spread among peers, but a healthy mood (not feeling depressed) does. By surrounding themselves with friends—especially happy ones—teens significantly reduce the risk of developing depression, and improve the ability to recover from it. The study also found that positive friendships could be more effective than using antidepressants.

What it Means for Parents

It is critical that parents pay attention to the type of friends their children are attracted to. If there are any red flags, consider the following:

• Redirect kids to more positive individuals and groups—friends, mentors and professionals they can look up to and who inspire them to become the best person they can be.

• Instill (and model) the importance of positive relationships by doing the same with your own circle of friends (remember, kids are imitators).

• Build a positive community for children from a young age by participating in group activities such as playdates, team sports, community service projects, neighborhood gatherings and other relationshipbuilding events. v

Sandi Schwartz is an award-winning author, freelance journalist and mother of two.