Teaching Kids to Care

Discover the joy of caring for community

This is part two of a two-part series. If you missed “Teaching Kids to Care: The unexpected power of essential life skills” in our October issue, read it at www.sandiegofamily.com/parenting.

When kids learn to care for themselves and family members, it provides a sense of belonging and responsibility. By practicing simple daily acts of caring and kindness, kids experience the joy of helping others and grow confident that their actions make a difference. When that confidence and desire to serve others spill into local communities, kids become more engaged and everyone benefits. Read on to learn more about how teaching kids to care leads to the joys and benefits of community care.

What is community care?

Community care refers to the service and empathetic actions of taking care of and contributing to the good of others. It extends beyond individuals and families to lift and strengthen communities.

Young children might understand it best as looking out for the people around you and knowing they look out for you. These people could include extended family and friends, neighbors, teachers, classmates, local business owners and members of local organizations.

Note: It’s hard to have healthy community care without healthy self-care. Extending time, energy and resources to meet the needs of others isn’t sustainable if families don’t care for their own needs as well. When families tend to their mental, emotional and physical needs at home, they grow healthy, engaged kids who are able to participate in the lives of others.

Families and communities are better together.

The way we do life has changed since the onset of COVID-19. It’s easy to isolate by having everything we need delivered to our door. But being so disconnected doesn’t feel good and it’s not a healthy way to live. We need each other to be our best.

Belonging to a community also makes us more compassionate people. When we engage with and serve the communities to which we belong, we see the struggles of others and can become part of the solution.

Introducing children to this next level of caring offers a sense of belonging, ownership and social concern, and an opportunity to become active, caring members of the world around them.

The benefits of caring go both ways.

While community care means serving the needs of others, multiple studies show that individual happiness and success are closely tied to the satisfaction that comes from helping others.

“The evidence is quite clear that giving makes us happier,” says Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., psychology professor at University of California, Riverside. “In our research, we have found that for longer-term happiness, it is better to give than to receive. That’s also correlated with creating connection because kind actions involve others, and you create a connection when you help someone. Strong relationships and connections with others are highly correlated with happiness.”

Practice community care with kids.

Help children develop a positive community mindset by having fun in it. Play at the neighborhood park. Take part in neighborhood gatherings. Watch for community events like movies or concerts and while you’re there, thank volunteers.

Pitch in and have children volunteer alongside you. You’ll model how important it is to get involved and how fun it is to work together. Have your preschooler help you sort donations at a food pantry. Take a child who loves to dig to a tree-planting event at a park.

Show children that connecting goes both ways. For example, you might offer to collect your neighbors’ mail when they’re on vacation and ask them to collect yours when you’re away.

Practice kindness by building it into small moments throughout your day. Simply saying “hello” and “thank you” to people you encounter models kindness and consideration for other community members.

Expand your child’s area of “concern” by talking to them about how to help someone outside of their circle, such as a new student in class or someone who doesn’t speak the same language.

Mind the gap between words and actions.

In our success-driven society, it’s easy to get caught up with all things necessary to ensure children succeed in school, sports and extracurricular activities.

A survey of 10,000 middle and high school students conducted by Making Caring Common, a Harvard Graduate School of Education project, reported that nearly two-thirds of youth believe that their parents and peers would rank the importance of achievement above caring for others.

Examine how your family’s priorities, schedules and activities align with your desire to teach kids the power of caring. Make sure your words are consistent with your actions by making time and creating opportunities for kids to care for friends, neighbors and the communities in which they live, learn and grow.

Community care makes life better for everyone. Engaging in the care of others demonstrates to children that kindness and empathy make a difference in the world; it provides a greater sense of connection and belonging; and it allows families to experience the joy and satisfaction that come from making life better for themselves and others. v

Jody Lee Cates is the award-winning author of our column, “Parenting with Purpose.” She is also a local San Diego mom who blogs about healthy relationships at www.jodyleecates.com.

Practical Ways to Serve Others as a Family

• Participate in a beach or community clean up

• Bring in a neighbor’s garbage cans

• Do some planting, weeding or watering at a community garden

• Help a neighbor with yardwork

• Deliver cookies or snacks to a local fire or police station

• Donate books to a nearby Little Free Library

• Make cards for residents of a nearby senior living home

• Deliver a meal to a family who just had a baby

Get more ideas in our articles

“Doing Good Deeds: 21 ways kids can help the community” and “41 Random Acts of Kindness.” Both are at www.sandiegofamily.com/ things-to-do/donationsvolunteers-and-localfundraisers.