what it means to me / quaker glossary

testimony: community

The testimony for the 2020–2021 school year at SFFS is community, and we’ve asked Director of Community Engagement Guybe Slangen to share his thoughts on this important element of our Quaker philosophy and what it means to him.

THE ME AND THE WE

by Guybe Slangen

One of the biggest takeaways for me from this absolutely crazy year is the combination of individual actions leading to collective impact, or as neurobiologist and author Dr. Dan Siegel frames it, the ME and the WE connection. He argues that “... While we are individuals with our own experiences and perspectives, our brains are built and function on the interconnections of a larger, symbiotic world. Who you are is both an internal (Me) and an interconnected (We) self that shapes your identity and sense of belonging.” This ME-WE relationship is what community means to me, and it also makes me think of two of my favorite quotes.

1) “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi To me this speaks to the need for individual responsibility in communities. It also reminds me of something my mom used to tell me as a kid. I was big into saving the planet, recycling, all that, and she used to say if I wanted a cleaner environment I should start by cleaning my room! Little did I know at the time that she was delivering Gandhi’s message, albeit in a much more direct, demanding way. And there’s so much truth to this. A kinder, greener, more equitable world starts with us as individuals. What am I willing to do, to say, to give or give up, to question or challenge within myself as an individual to work towards the community, city, country, or world we need? Problems don’t solve themselves, and require each of us to act—whether it’s wearing a mask or casting a ballot or cleaning our rooms. This is why two of our three community queries this year focus on the ME:

How am I taking care of myself so I can better help others in my communities?

How am I called to action by my communities - great and small?

2) “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” – Hellen Keller

But individuals alone can’t make a difference on a large scale. Not to say those actions don’t matter, they do indeed. However, the problems we face today—the pandemic, racial injustice, climate change, to name a few—impact us all and can

only be solved by the combined actions of all. These shared problems require all of us to do our individual parts, contributing (and benefitting) from the efforts of many to make a difference. Helen Keller sums up the power of collective action leading to collective impact. Hence our third query this year focusing on the WE:

How do we nurture and expand the diversity of our communities? The Peace Table: Ah, The Peace Table—that fabled place that Lower-Schoolers often heartily embrace and rely upon at the start of their journey at San Francisco Friends School. In non-COVID times, it has been located under the central first floor stairwell, across from the Kindergarten classrooms. You can often walk by to find animated conversations taking place among our young Friends as they work out the differences that can often arise in a Lower School classroom or on Communities are made of and made better by individuals doing their part and working together towards a shared goal or purpose. This focus on both the ME and the WE is when big, enduring change happens.

And we’ve seen it in so many amazing ways throughout 2020! From thanking front line workers to looking out for our neighbors, and from social distancing to social the Front Yard. The Peace Table is introduced to our Friends by their teachers as a place to resolve conflicts in a thoughtful and manner in which all voices are heard and respected. They also learn about sentence starters that can come in handy when working out their differences, including: • “When you.....” • “I feel......” • “I need....” Peaceful problem-solving is an important element of the Quaker justice marches, each of these require individuals to participate but it takes a larger number of people (a community!) to make a real difference. It’s inspiring, and I’m grateful to both contribute to and benefit from these individual and

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community wide efforts. • philosophy, and at the Peace Table, students learn to use “I” statements and assertive language with the support of their teachers and peers.

Though the physical table is on hiatus for the time being, the values that surround its use continue to be emphasized in our classrooms, both in-person and virtual. •