celebrating 20 years of friends: san francisco friends school turns the big 2-0.

Just over two decades ago, a dynamic veteran school administrator—Cathy Hunter, our founding head of school—joined forces with an enthusiastic group of parents to found a new school in San Francisco, one unlike any other in the city’s landscape: a Quaker Friends School, espousing progressive values and strong community ties.

On assembling that initial band of brave and creative teachers and administrators, founding faculty member Caren Andrews recalls, “The mythology goes that the school started in a box at the back of Cathy’s car, with a horrible mobile phone, and that she would pull off to the side of the road to recruit whomever she needed to recruit.” (Caren continues to inspire our budding SFFS artists today as the Lower School art teacher.) Longtime Lower School teacher Noah Bowling recalls from those early days: “Diamond Street was wonderful and fun, and I feel like our faculty and staff and parents had such a pioneering foundation, just something that ran through us where we just kind of put all of our efforts into every day.” In conversations about those early days of Friends, alumni remember strong values being taught—and a clear sense of joy that permeated everything, from innovative approaches to learning, to community-building, to getting creative when resources were tight, but the ideas just kept coming. That DIY spirit became a mainstay of Friends, and one that many alumni families recalled with pride. Pioneer parent Evy Pine P’11 notes the commitment and firm belief that the founding families had that this school would hold something truly special for their children: “If people had among friends: winter 2023 signed up their kid [in those firsts years], they really believed in the power of the experiment.”

From the start, the connection between students and adults on campus was also key to the Friends experience, and markedly different from the more traditional roles observed at peer schools. Says Mauricio Mendez of the Class of 2012: “I had really in-depth conversations with the staff. And that’s something I didn’t see at all at other schools I was visiting. There were teachers who were there to teach and at Friends

This page, from top: working on the play yard at our first campus at 117 Diamond Street; the Diamond Street entrance. Next page, clockwise from top left: second Head of School Mike Hanas in Golden Gate Park; an early Friends classroom; first Lower School Head Jennifer Arnest and Middle School Head Andrew Salverda; and former teacher—now Lower School Head—Amabelle Sze at the first day of school at 250 Valencia Street.

School there were grown-ups who were there to listen. And that was really cool.” Alumni parent Erin Gordon P’16 & ‘17 also felt that the teaching—and the connection with students—was among her favorite parts of her family’s Friends experience: “I thought there was a lot to love about Friends, but I would put the teachers at the top of that list.”

Early Friends parent Jenny Overstreet also felt that the innovative academic curriculum, coupled with the Quaker values that informed it, made SFFS a standout among peer schools in the city: “… The values of Friends were the best, most sensible, most sensitive way that I could think of to imbue my kids with the values among friends: winter 2023 that are exceptionally important to me, [that I felt they would need] as citizens of the world, as citizens of their communities. It was completely natural.” This was a sentiment shared by many, including families and faculty.

“It’s always been the values,” says alumni parent Heather Jain P’18 & ‘20, “That’s what brought us to Friends, that’s what made it meaningful.”

Many SFFS alumni credit the school’s emphasis on experiential learning and intentionally building a feedback system for students that eschewed letter grades with allowing them to take deep dives into subjects that they were passioante about and take risks for the sake of truly understand- ing a concept or subject. “Friends School predisposed me to not care about the grades so much and to care more about the integrity of the work I was putting in—as opposed to just getting a number,” says Lane Unsworth, a member of the pioneer Class of 2011. Fellow pioneer Claire Fry ‘11 also appreciated this freedom and equity in learning opportunities: “I think the values of Friends and the commitment [the school had] to letting us explore what we were passionate about [allowed us to see] what our strengths were—and also forced us to take a step back and let other people have space. It was so equitable and there was an emphasis on the idea that even if you are the best at this thing, we’re gonna let someone else do it now—because we want them to have the experience, too.”

Erin Gordon found that the impact on her children started from their first year at Friends: “It’s the whole narrow and deep [philosophy]... at Friends, education is not scattershot; they’re really teaching kids to dive in—and those kinds of things made my kids such good learners... Starting in Kindergarten, they had Morning Meeting where the kids would stand up and lead the meeting. And now my kids can talk in front of 500 people and not even blink. They’re just comfortable, because all of these things were instilled from the very beginning.”

As the years go on and our graduates get older and grow into adulthood, we hope that we can continue to cultivate a strong and powerfully connected alumni community, keeping the history of our school alive and the connections among the people who built it strong. “What astonishes me most about our graduates,” says Caren, “is that I would not willingly return to my middle school and visit. But it is incredible how often and frequently we see kids who have graduated from Friends come back to touch base—that speaks volumes.” Noah agrees that there is something about the community that keeps it tightly interwoven and true to its roots: “I feel like it has the same ethos, that same gravitas, that same substance about the school... It must be a special place to have a completely different group of people yet still feel very much the same.”

Through our founding, purchase and renovation of our campus at 250 Valencia (which also involved a move from the original campus at Diamond Street!), growth from a school consisting of one pioneering Kindergarten class to a bustling K–8, purchase of 260 Valencia next door, transitions between three visionary heads of school, and a worldwide pandemic that necessitated a months-long switch to remote learning—the school has continued to grow and thrive.

Michael Feldman P’19 & ‘22, an alumni parent who also served as a Board co-clerk perhaps puts it best: “To be where we are in 20 years is insane—and that’s the bottom line. To be one of the best K–8s in San Francisco, virtually overnight, on strong financial footing and with this gorgeous facility… that ain’t easy, and we did it. Obviously, a huge debt of gratitude is owed to… the starting families. They carried a lot of weight.” And with such a remarkable history, devoted community, and unique vision for K–8 education, we are looking forward to a bright future ahead. •

Please be sure to save the evening of Saturday, May 13, when our community will come together at 250 Valencia to celebrate “20 Years of Friends” in community, sharing celebration and memories. A formal invitation from the school will be forthcoming. If you are not sure whether SFFS has your updated contact information, don’t hesitate to reach out to development@sffriendsschool. org—we want to keep in touch!

We invite you to check out our digital school history timeline— with many more details and photos, including the incredible history of our historic building at 250 Valencia!, on the SFFS website at sffriendsschool.org/ about-us/20-years-of-friends •