THE EDGE OF APOCALYPSE

IS TECH TURNING US INTO UNFEELING BEINGS?

by Sophie Schoenfeld, MFT

Hundreds of articles discuss if ChatGPT and the development of artificial intelligence (AI) is the end of our civilization. Apple just launched their Vision Pro, the first generation of spatial computing, and theoretical physicists like Michio Kaku are discussing the future of immortality and virtual existence as our inevitable destination. Integration of new technology and innovation has always felt terrifying, yet historically, humans have utilized these tools without perishing. One trend, however, that this technological advancement has spread into popular culture faster than its development, has to do with altering norms of engagement and emotional bandwidth of human-to-human interactions. In essence, we are becoming different, not because robots are taking over our jobs, but because we no longer engage with each other as we used to. This trend toward thwarted relational capacity might lead us to the precipice of humanity’s inevitable demise before computers learn to control us.

Twenty or so years ago, before we learned to hide behind a computer screen, we only engaged in person. The essence of human nature was that we were intrinsically relational beings, and our interactions were visceral. If we offend another, we see their facial expressions change, hear their tone of voice shift and the cadence of speech alter, our mirror neurons activate, and our bodies resonate with the other person. Spending real time with someone engaging provides an exhilarating emotional experience. We laugh and have heated discussions. We raise our voice and our body temperature goes up. Then we calibrate and repair collectively. This process is a tremendous exchange of nonverbal sensory energy. Before we could hide behind avatars and fake names, we were still tribal beings accountable to one another. When we engage authentically, we trigger powerful emotions. We charge and drain each other with energy, giving us a sense of attunement to our fellow humans. A tribal human is relational; a digital human, less so.

We relentlessly strive toward a more tolerant and just society. In many ways, we have reached some of those goals (my children have access and are more understanding of things than I even had the language for at their age). Yet we have also become emotionally more disconnected from one another. This is evident in many aspects of our social functioning, especially youth culture. Teenagers opt for virtual interactions over in person relationships. They are less interested in individuating to explore their worlds because they are exploring online. This generation has less sex than any other, yet they are more inundated with sexual content than ever before. We live in a culture of inauthenticity, over-labeling, and emotional blunting. Half of the time, we talk to bots without even knowing it, altering our social fabric.

In a world where everything can be and is for sale, we have a world of overpackaged lies. The self-help industry itself is an overpackaged lie. Endless memes that quote inner peace and define complex concepts in simplified sentences, TikTok gurus that teach you relationship tricks in less than a minute, and books that claim to fix your childhood trauma in 10 steps. We have words for every uncomfortable experience and every situation. We have a generation of over-therapized individuals who have been taught how to label but not how to connect.

When a feeling becomes a thought, it is no longer a feeling. Emotions versus thoughts are processed by different areas in the brain; thus, they are also processed at different speeds. When we prematurely label an emotional experience, we dampen the process. The result is an exchange of labels without meaning. We do not derive meaning from a method of rational computation; it is distilled from emotion, hence, the difference between a robot and a human. In a fast-paced digital world, however, there is less time to process a tremendous volume of input emotionally. And this very fact is the precipice of human extinction. We are slowly becoming unfeeling beings. However, we cannot distinguish meaning from meaningless, and a meaningless world is no world at all.

For the sake of our survival, do not strive for fake inner peace — there is no peace here. Your every cell is fighting, so get mad when things are wrong, do not look for apathy. Learn to sit in the discomfort of your own skin. Do not strive to be safe, for it is dangerous to live. spt

Sophie Schoenfeld, MFT is a local marriage and family therapist. For more info, visit sophiemft.com.

OLD DOGS, NEW TRICKS

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO BEGIN

by Eddie McKenna

An old Chinese proverb says: The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.

This has always deeply resonated with me because it reminds us that it’s never too late to begin. As a fitness coach, I often encounter individuals who believe they can’t start their fitness journey due to a myriad of reasons: thinking it’s too late, feeling overweight, lacking strength, doubting their capabilities, considering themselves too old, feeling scared, or thinking, “Why start now when I’ve never done it before?”

One of the people who truly stands out is my good friend, Bill. Considering his age and frailty, he believed it was too late for him. When we first crossed paths, Bill was 76 years old. His daughter, who had been training with me for a decade, approached me one day with a heartfelt plea: “Please, train my dad. If you don’t help him, he won’t make it.” She wasn’t asking; she told me I had to train her father. I share a special bond with her, almost like a sister, and I knew this was an important task. Bill’s daughters even pooled their resources to pay for his training because he would never invest in himself.

Bill had never exercised in his life. When we first met, I asked him to lie on the ground. He looked at me bewildered and asked, “You’re joking, right?” I assured him I wasn’t, and so began his challenging journey of getting down on the floor. It took him around 13 minutes to accomplish this feat, and by the end, he was drenched in sweat. When he finally rose to his feet, he asked if we were done. I couldn’t help but laugh. I told Bill, “I have you for another 47 minutes, and I won’t let you off the hook even a second early. I promised your daughter I’d whip you into shape.” And that marked the beginning of our friendship.

For three years, I trained Bill until he passed away. His daughter will tell you he spent three additional years with us because he started caring for himself. All Bill had ever done was work and provide for his family. He was 76 when he began training with me and worked full-time on the docks. After a tiring and exhausting day, he would show up at the gym, claiming he didn’t want to be there. But he always showed up. I trained Bill for 156 sessions, and every single time, he uttered the words, “I don’t want to be here.” There’s something powerful about that statement and the willpower behind it.

Most people would say those words and remain on their couch, but not Bill. He knew he had to be at the gym. He knew it would benefit him, and he knew his family wanted him around for longer. So, he didn’t have a choice — he went to the gym every week for three years without missing a single week. Eventually, he became so committed that he would reach out to me, ensuring he secured a time slot for his workout. Here’s another saying I love: “It’s never too late to teach an old dog a new trick.” Bill was a living testament to that.

Imagine you’re 76 years old, walking into a CrossFit gym, ready to meet your personal trainer, knowing full well that the workout awaiting you will test your limits for a solid 60 minutes. Don’t get me wrong — the entire session wasn’t grueling. In fact, we shared plenty of laughter, and Bill had a blast getting to know everyone. But let me tell you, it took some serious guts for him to show up and embark on this journey.

This story holds a valuable lesson: It’s never too late to prioritize your well-being, regardless of where you find yourself in life.

It requires courage to take that initial step, to commit to taking back your health. Bill may have started later than most, but in the end, he proved that beginning was far better than not starting at all. spt

Eddie McKenna is co-owner of Heyday Elite Fitness. For more info, visit heydaytraining.com.