Shakes'Beer by Montecito Journal

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SB’s hub for od, Fashion, Art, Foolks Libations, and F t.. . who do it righ

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2015

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SHAKES’BEER (photo by Lerina Winter, Winter Creative Co.)

For most people, William Shakespeare is the Bard of Avon, the greatest writer to ever put quill to parchment in the English language. To beer maven Zach Rosen and retired San Marcos High performing arts director David Holmes, however, he’s simply “Shakes,” the puffy-panted guy who wrote those plays... (story begins on page 7)

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Content

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Lanny’s Take – Lanny Ebenstein is on a mission involving future and possible transformation of the Santa Barbara Mission/Mission Canyon neighborhood

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State Street Scribe – A festival? Yes. That combines Shakespeare and specially crafted brewskis? Yes. You are a loony!

T he Bi-weekly Capitalist – Jeff Harding continues to scrutinize in threes – this time focusing on the Fed’s smoke and mirrors, America’s “haves and have nots”, and the website Ashley Madison

Beer Guy – Burning desire: Zach Rosen packs his bags, kegs, and Pyro Bar for Black Rock City, Nevada, home to the Burning Man festival

The Fortnight – From deepest space to talking puppets, this world is a lovely corsage concealing a churlish bumblebee. Ya gotta love it.

SY Valley Snapshot – Calendar roundup and congratulations to El Rancho for its Grocery Store of the Year award by the Independent Grocers Alliance Man About Town – Mark Léisuré chronicles Timbers Restaurant and Prism Productions; touches on Tales from the Tavern; guitarist Bruce Goldish; and Labor Day weekend events

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The Local – Megan Waldrep looks hungrily into Empty Bowl, is Obsessed With a Laughing Buddha; takes some Quick Bites of Neighbor Tim’s BBQ; gets answers from Dishwalla’s George Pendergast; and enjoys Chapala Farms, among others

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Up Close – Jacquelyn De Longe gets schooled about Parentsquare, the education-based social network, by its creator, Anupama Vaid Food File – Christina Enoch’s mouth is watering as she sniffs around Finch and Fork, where chef James Siao knows what’s cooking at Kimpton’s Canary Hotel Behind The Vine – Hana-.Lee Sedgwick pairs up with photography mentor Tara Jones at the El Paseo Wine Tour, for fun under the sun with Eat This, Shoot That!

Plan B – Breaking up is hard to do: Briana Westmacott pens a goodbye letter to summer as she reflects on her family’s experiences with a sigh of relief I Heart SB – It’s a date! Elizabeth Rose strikes a pose (with shaven legs and “good” hair), only to have her sliver of optimism smothered by a wet blanket, then spared by Netflix

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Cinema Scope – James Luksic hastily exits No Escape, raps about Straight Outta Compton, and visits The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

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Lannys take by Lanny Ebenstein

Lanny is a longtime local resident and writer.

Mission Canyon Issue Heating Up

hether the Santa Barbara Mission/Mission Canyon neighborhood is preserved in fundamentally its existing form – or is transformed – may be decided in the coming months. Advocates of a new entrance to Mission Canyon have been remarkably candid about their plans for alteration of this area. Essentially, the existing entrance to Mission Canyon would be obliterated beyond recognition. Mission Canyon Road’s western edge would be moved five to 10 feet to the east, and the eastern edge of asphalt, including bike lanes, would be moved about 15 to 20 feet to the east from Mission Creek Bridge to Puesta del Sol. The total asphalt area would be widened close to half and straightened. Traffic speeds would increase. Raised curbing would be installed in front of the stegosaurus wall on Mission Canyon Road, and the stegosaurus wall would be punctured and (depending on design) perhaps in part moved. Segments of two other historic walls on and adjacent to East Los Olivos Street and the Mission Creek Bridge would also be moved or removed. A new single-span, prefabricated, steel pedestrian bridge would be placed immediately to the west of the existing stone Mission Creek Bridge that dates originally to the 1800s, and trusses of the new steel pedestrian bridge would extend several feet above the parapet (wall) of the existing stone bridge. Eastern side pedestrian access would be lost. It no longer would be possible to walk from Rocky Nook Park to the Mission Rose Garden on the eastern side of Mission Canyon Road and Los Olivos. But the advocates of Mission Canyon entrance alteration seek further radical changes in the upper eastside and Riviera neighborhoods. Although it’s not a part of the current proposal, some transformation proponents seek to build a tunnel under Alameda Padre Serra within dozens of feet of multiple significant historic resources, would redirect Los Olivos Street into Mission Historical Park at Laguna Street, and would build a new pedestrian walk-through immediately in front of and between some of the oldest and

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most historic California construction – the old Mission reservoirs that date to 1806. These plans must be stopped. Plan opponents support far milder changes to the Mission Canyon – upper eastside – Riviera neighborhoods that would improve safety, access, and aesthetics, at far less cost. The Coalition to Preserve Mission Canyon (of which this writer is a part) will present plans in the coming months for improving the existing corridor. Many oppose the effort to transform the entrance to Mission Canyon – including former county supervisor Frank Frost, naturalist and preservationist Paulina Conn, Randy Reetz, Neal Graffy, Fran Galt, Carol Le Gassick, Barbara Hoffman, Pam Boehr, Kevin Rivera, and many others. Importantly, also to express strong doubts about the Mission Canyon reconfiguration plan are Santa Barbara City Historic Landmarks commissioners Michael Drury and Fermina Murray. At a meeting earlier this year, Mr. Drury could not have been more clear that he thinks this Mission Canyon proposal would devastate historic resources. Ms. Murray did not see a single reason to adopt the plan. Also, commissioner Craig Shallenberger raised the crucial question of whether impacts from the plan should be classified as Class I, which would essentially stop the proposal. In the coming weeks, the historic landmarks report is projected to return to the City Historic Landmarks Commission for its consideration. These meetings will provide the opportunity to examine this radical proposal, that would so greatly diminish Santa Barbara further. Few people realize that, through the early 1800s, the leading center of population in the area was in the vicinity of the Santa Barbara Mission. More people (mostly the Chumash) lived here than in the immediate vicinity of the Presidio. The area now proposed for alteration and transformation truly is the most historic part of Santa Barbara. In the past, the people of Santa Barbara have always risen up when proposals have been made that would mar the historic and natural beauty of our area. The Mission Canyon alteration and transformation plan – which would, again according to advocates, in time extend to the Riviera and upper eastside neighborhoods – is the most significant proposal for decades that would greatly lessen valuable and irreplaceable historic and environmental resources. The Santa Barbara City Historic Landmarks Commission would do the community a great service – and would protect the historic resources that are the charge of the commission to defend – by turning this proposal down. There is no reason to waste millions of taxpayers’ dollars on a plan that would only make things worse.

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Bi-Weekly Capitalist by Jeff Harding

Jeff Harding is a real estate investor and a writer on economics and finance. He is the former publisher of the Daily Capitalist, a popular economics blog. He is also an adjunct professor at SBCC.

The Fed Admits It was Wrong

his is frothy stuff, folks. Yours truly has been writing about the failure of the Fed’s economic nostrums for years. I accused the Fed of, well, economic shamanism. My argument is that our economic recovery had nothing to do with the Fed’s policies and, if anything, the Fed has fomented a misguided recovery, false hope, and fake theory. Now, a white paper written by the vice president of the St. Louis branch of the Fed admits that there is no data to support the Fed’s policies employed to rescue the economy. Their bedrock policies, money printing (QE “quantitative easing”), and zero interest rate policy (ZIRP), had no provable effect. The author of the paper, Stephen Williamson, says clearly, “There is no work, to my knowledge, that establishes a link from QE to the ultimate goals of the Fed inflation and real economic activity.” In other words, he says that despite the Fed’s printing $3 trillion and mainlining it into the economy, there is no evidence that it works. If anything, it is pretty obvious that this is leading us into the next economic crisis. While sales clerks, wait staff, and bartenders find employment, the rest of the economy is less sanguine. It’s a classic bifurcated economy where Wall Streeters are thriving and Main Streeters aren’t. And it’s all caused by the Fed. The paper concludes by saying that they don’t have a workable economic theory that explains their policies, which is another way of saying that

they don’t know what they are doing. I get the feeling that we are looking behind the curtain to see the real wizards of Oz – all bluff, bluster, and hot air. I’m glad that they finally admit it.

Are You A “Have” or “Have Not?” Gallup recently asked this question of Americans in a recent poll, and the results are pretty interesting. Despite all the misinformation fed to us about wealth inequality, a majority of Americans (58%) still feel that they are “haves.” A second question was, Do you think Americans are divided into “haves” and “have nots?” Again, a majority of Americans (54%) said no. While the percentage of “haves” has been about the same over the years, those that place themselves as “have nots” have grown from 17% in 1988 to 38% now. The reason is that the number of folks who formerly chose “neither” switched to the “have not” group. That is not surprising, since we have been led to believe that we are the victims of “wealth inequality.” As you might guess, those with higher incomes and education fell more into the “have” category. But get this: of those making less than $36,000 a year, 42% still saw themselves as “haves” and 52% of those with no college saw themselves as “haves.” Those trying to make political hay out of this would say that the middle class has declined over the years (since 1980). While they point to Census data showing income stagnation

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(0.3% per year), a poll revealed that 70% of economists believe that the stagnation data is flawed and doesn’t represent the reality of the economy. The Congressional Budget Office took into account their criticisms, things such as smaller family size, government benefits, lower taxes, and a more realistic calculation of inflation, and concluded that instead of 0.3% annual growth it was 5 times greater than what the Census statistics showed. Some economists, as reported by Goldman Sachs, believe that income growth has been more like

We are looking behind the curtain to see the real wizards of Oz – all bluff, bluster, and hot air 2.5% per year. Instead of the middleclass shrinking, data shows that more people are wealthier, pushed upward rather than down. For those of you not around in 1980, do you think life was better off then without laptop computers, Internet, Wi-Fi, iPhones, iTunes, safer and cheaper cars, cheap air fares, better health, HIV miracle drugs, 3-D printers, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Google, blogs, flat-screen TVs, and Kickstarter? You don’t even have to be a “have” to get this stuff (how much does Facebook cost you?). These are the kinds of things that they don’t factor in to decide if you are better off now or if you are a “have” or “have not.”

So, answer the question: Are you a “have” or a “have not?”

Ashley Madison

I collect words I hope to have the opportunity to use some day. The Ashley Madison hack gave me the opportunity to use one phrase: custos morum. In case you’ve been living in a mountain cave, the “Life is short, have an affair” website, Ashley Madison, was hacked into and had its data stolen. The hackers demanded that the site be shut down, or they would disclose the names and personal information of its 37 million mostly male subscribers. The owners of the site balked and the hackers released the data. You can now search their database to see who is cheating on whom. This is not an act of terrorism but something else, though I guess if you were a subscriber you might be terrified if your spouse found out. The obvious purpose was to strike at what these criminal hackers see as immorality and to brand these adulterers with the letter “A”. Thus the name, custos morum, a Latin phrase for “guardian of morals.” Without taking a moral stand on adultery, I would say it’s none of their damned business. These self-righteous fundamentalist busybodies wish to impose their view of what is or isn’t moral on the world. They are thieves posing as moral crusaders. What is the difference between them and other fundamentalists around the world who impose their view of morality by violence or law? Answer: none. And no, I’m not a subscriber.

Publisher/Editor • Tim Buckley | Design/Production • Trent Watanabe Managing Editor • James Luksic | Creative Director • Megan Waldrep Columnists Shop Girl • Kateri Wozny | Man About Town • Mark Leisure Plan B • Briana Westmacott | Food File • Christina Enoch Commercial Corner • Austin Herlihy | The Weekly Capitalist • Jeff Harding The Beer Guy • Zach Rosen | Cinema Scope • James Luksic Girl About Town • Julie Bifano | In The Zone • Tommie Vaughn I Heart SB • Elizabeth Rose | Fortnight • Jeff Wing State Street Scribe • Jeff Wing | Holistic Deliberation • Allison Antoinette Up Close • Jacquelyn De Longe | Behind The Vine • Hana-Lee Sedgwick The Local • Megan Waldrep | Lanny’s Take • Lanny Ebenstein Advertising/Sales Tanis Nelson • 805.689.0304 • tanis@santabarbarasentinel.com Sue Brooks • 805.455.9116 • sue@santabarbarasentinel.com Judson Bardwell • 619.379.1506 • judson@santabarbarasentinel.com Kim Collins • 805.895.1305 • kim@santabarbarasentinel.com Published by SB Sentinel, LLC PRINTED BY NPCP INC., SANTA BARBARA, CA Santa Barbara Sentinel is compiled every other Friday 133 EAST DE LA GUERRA STREET, #182, Santa Barbara 93101 How to reach us: 805.845.1673 • E-MAIL: tim@santabarbarasentinel.com

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STATE STREET SCRIBE by Jeff Wing

Jeff is a journalist, raconteur, autodidact, and polysyllable enthusiast. A long-time resident of SB, he takes great delight in chronicling the lesser known facets of this gaudy jewel by the sea. Jeff can be reached at jeffwingg@gmail.com

A Glass. Pour, Yorick. To Beer or Not to Beer? No Question!

illiam Shakespeare. The name conjures a picture; most often a guy in tights and a blouse and an awkward haircut with baby bangs. One foot is propped on a rock and he is holding aloft a human skull and yakking forlornly at it. Or maybe you’re seeing that desperate, vanquished king in the torn ruins of his own denouement, casting madly about the smoldering battlefield, his ride recently shot out from under him. “A horse! Where’s my darned horse?” That sort of thing. Shakespeare is considered by scholars and many of his casual fans to be the greatest writer of English who ever put pen to paper. To those who have not yet fallen under his spell, he can be an intimidatingly snooty little glove-maker in balloon shorts and pantyhose, talking you into a corner with his Renaissance baldness and funny nose and baggy eyes, streaming a torrent of unanswerably

beautiful language at you until you want to punch him in his starched Elizabethan collar. Ahem. Whether the Bard of Avon makes you swoon, shrug, or flee with all haste-poste-haste, Zach Rosen and David Holmes would like to buy you and Bill Shakespeare a drink. A beer, to be exact. “THIS ABOVE ALL: TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE” e’re not just serving beer next to Shakespeare in performance,” Rosen gushes, somehow dismissively. We’re sitting in an amusingly appointed, slightly scuffed lounge above a rehearsal space, our talk frequently interrupted by the hollering downstairs of two doomed, lovesick kids from warring families; kind of a Jets and Sharks thing. “I mean, I’m personally working with the brewers on a lot of these beers, designing these recipes from the ground up. Like, hey

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can we add a little aromatic malt on that one?” Zach Rosen is a certified Cicerone, a “beer guy”, and a chemical engineer by education (talk about bettering the world with science). David Holmes is a storied theatrical director/Proscenium Power Ranger whose 30-year run as mentor and muse to aspiring and succeeding

young actors is pretty much unequaled in these parts. Today, this Beer Guy and Shakespeare guy have agreed to meet with me to lift the veil a wee bit on a little something they’ve been collaborating on; an evening of outdoor, lamplit, in-yourface Elizabethan floorboarding-in-theround! There will be five stages! Period ...continued p.8

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...continued from p.7

Phil Gould taking a break from acting as a donkey to work on his beer drinking skills. All in a day’s work for the Shakes’Beer crew! (photo by Lerina Winter, Winter Creative Co.)

musical performances! Special material by the State Street Ballet! All this is happening on the rambling open property behind SB Historical Museum (136 East De la Guerra Street), and under watchful starlight. Zero hour is Friday, September 18, from 6 to 10 pm. Holmes will be colorfully directing a stable of rock-star stage actors through an evening’s expertly excerpted Shakespeare. The First Annual Shakes’Beer Festival, they’re calling it. It’s big. Huge, really. They’ve been putting this thing together for a long long time, and they’re determined to make a giant splash and roll the ball forward, a new Santa Barbara tradition. Shakespeare! Whew! (*sniff*) So, like, what’s Zach gonna be doing? “For Falstaff, I want the final gravity, the body of the beer, to be an Imperial

Mild!” Zach is nearly jumping out of his seat; he begins to guffaw a little, then notices the interviewer’s tactful half-grin of incomprehension. “For Falstaff, we want an Imperial Mild! It’s a contradiction!” (Falstaff is a large-proportioned, dissipated, and beloved comic roustabout in three of Shakespeare’s plays). Zach looks at me again. What is he going on about? What he is going on about is an evening of both masterly stagecraft and calibrated beer craft. Or to use the more populist term for designer brewskis, Craft Beer. This will not be your parents’ Shakes’Beer Festival. But it may well be akin to your great-great-great (repeat 10 more times) grandparents’ experience of William S. when, contrary to the contemporary view of Shakespeare as being difficult and beyond the average reader, throngs of butchers, bakers, and candlestick makers, the well-off and the rabble both, would pile into the Old Globe, Shakespeare’s stomping grounds, rustling and shouting and drinking and living. This could be cool. PARTYING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW ere’s the deal: Shakes’Beer. The Beer Guy and a team of regional brewers have painstakingly designed 10 unique, one-off beers that will be on offer at the Shakes’Beer Festival on September 18, in the midst of, and congruent with, lovely Shakespearean stage play. These beers will be proffered, in effect, as “realtime” pairings, meaning they’ll be made available, and there for the drinking, as an augmenting experience, a sensory complement to the specific Shakespearean scenes being staged at the time the beer is served. Rosen

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Actors Evan Bell, Phil Gould, and Ken Volok practice some Midnight Summer magic for the 1st Annual Shakes’Beer festival (photo by Lerina Winter, Winter Creative Co.)

had done some version of this several times before, at the Mercury Lounge in Goleta – in one instance, filling patrons’ glasses as they sat in the dark and watched movies, films for whose individual scenes specialty beers had been carefully prepared. What my italics indicate is the beers that will be on offer at this Shakes’Beer Festival have been carefully, exactingly engineered for drinking while enjoying the acting that will be taking place on the various stages that night. At the Shakes’Beer fest, “Beer Runners” will be weaving tactfully

and unobtrusively through the standing crowds of celebrants, offering pours that have been crafted (quite laboriously and thoughtfully) to enhance the audience’s experience of a certain character, or even a certain moment in the work being staged. Hence Zach’s Falstaff enthusiasm of a couple paragraphs back. Of course, the attendees can meander about and order more beer and just have a seat under the stars, if that is their pleasure. During and between the theatrical stagings, volunteers provided by the Santa Barbara Hustlers (more on this group later) will be appearing with pitchers to salve your parched palate. The entire staging area will be open, with theatergoing Shakes’Beer samplers free to move about the SB History Museum courtyards, or stand clutching their mead and watching the actors do their thing. The idea is to provide attendees an immersive evening of Shakespearean stagecraft and Elizabethan music and dance, while allowing them to experience a list of beers that have been carefully designed and brewed just for that evening. Nothing like this has ever been done in Santa Barbara. Hopes are high that this September 18 event will kick off a new tradition, and that beer and Shakespeare appreciators can share enthusiasms and draw more folks to both Shakespeare and designer beer. A ROSEN BY ANY OTHER NAME ow did we come to this happy pass? Rosen has been at this beer chemistry thing for quite a little while. Actually, the sneaky little junior chemist started off interested in slightly stronger stuff and dialed down to beer.

...continued p.16

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by Zach Rosen

The Beer Guy is Heading to Burning Man

t’s that time of the year again: when a group of 70,000 dusty weirdos head out to the desert for the weeklong experience known as Burning Man. This isn’t Coachella. There aren’t headlining bands and beer tents. This crazy group of Burners bring all of their own food, water, fuel, and equipment, and spend a week out in the middle of the Nevada desert building their own city before packing it all up again. Last year was my first attending Burning Man, and after my experiences out there I am heading back to Black Rock City, Nevada, where the festival is held. Once again, I will be camping with The Enclave and serving beer, bubbly, and mixed drinks from our own local art car, the Pyro Bar. This antique logging truck has been transformed into a rolling bar that is loaded with pyrotechnics, a DJ booth, swings – and of course, plenty to drink. Our camp was thrown a curveball this year when the Pyro Bar was

Zach Rosen is a Certified Cicerone® and beer educator living in Santa Barbara. He uses his background in chemical engineering and the arts to seek out abstract expressions of beer and discover how beer pairs with life.

initially rejected by the Burning Man committee. They were concerned that the front of the truck looks too much like, well, a truck. Our camp was not happy with the decision, especially since that truck was specifically chosen for its aesthetics and to work with the overall design of the Pyro Bar, but after an appeal process, we were able to get the art car approved. The Pyro Bar would

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Goerner, designed a magnificent façade that works with the natural curves of the metal work that has already been done on the Pyro Bar. After months of preparation and countless hours of pipe bending, welding, and plasma cutting, we have completed the façade. Our equipment is packed up and loaded in several trucks, and we are ready to make the long drive out to Black Rock. Who knows what adventures the next week will bring? Rumors of a bug infestation are hardly enough to squash the spirit of the Burning Man crowd. Those who attend Burning Man do not go out there for its comfort. With no running water, Pyro Bar owner Mark Goerner grinding up for Burning Man blistering heat, dust be accepted to Burning Man if we built storms, and other intense conditions, a front façade for the truck that would this festival is not for the faint of heart cover any OEM (original equipment but for those whose heart thrives off of manufacturer) parts of the cab. the extreme and the absurd. Pyro Bar owner, Enclave leader, and For me, I just like it when there is industrial designer by trade, Mark dust in my beer.

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by Jeff Wing

Tell us all about your art opening, performance, dance party, book signing, sale of something we can’t live without, or event of any other kind by emailing fortnight@santabarbarasentinel.com. If our readers can go to it, look at it, eat it, or buy it, we want to know about it and will consider it for inclusion here. Special consideration will be given to interesting, exploratory, unfamiliar, and unusual items. We give calendar preference to those who take the time to submit a picture along with their listing.

Life. Death. Stunt Dummies. Supernovae. Charles Nelson Reilly.

t’s president-picking time again. The stunt dummies have arrived in force with their furrowed brows, high-schoolish jibber jabber, and arms that gesture so unnaturally they appear almost prosthetic. Our vast and variegated national experiment, an aspirational frappe of equal parts hope, informed daydream, and bald audacity, sucks at producing interesting presidents. It’s weird. Why must we suffer this Quadrennial troupe of stammering dullards? These are our best? One of the presidential hopefuls this cycle is a blank, blabbing realtor with a pioneering “traumatic brain injury comb-over” and a moron’s litany of public pronouncements to match. Another one touts his creds this way: “My dad was a small-town pastor, and my mom worked as a part-time secretary and bookkeeper. My grandparents were farmers who didn’t have indoor plumbing until my mom went off to junior high school.” Swell. When the nation needs its garage painted, you’re first in line, candidate. In other news, three Americans, a French guy, and a Brit swarmed an AK-47-toting Man of Faith on a French train before he could piously spray the assorted passengers with hot lead. “Give me back my rifle!” he actually demanded before they handily beat him senseless, hog-tied him, and gave him over to French police; a show of comparative mercy the God-is Carnage acolyte will now have a little time to reflect upon. It’s a big world aswarm with both Ruinous Idiots and Glowy Lovebirds. For evidence of the latter, we need look no further than the YouTube vid Happy We Are from Tehran. “Eeeww! Isn’t that in Arabia or someplace?” But for the endearingly inept dancing (insufficient disco training, one suspects), these giddy pals could be swinging along the rooftops of any big city anywhere. Naturally, they were arrested by Iran’s religious police once the video broke, but a sort of legal argument was made for expressing joy (seriously) and it ended well. As the great Andy Partridge once wrote: “Don’t let the loveless ones sell you a world wrapped in grey”. Promise? Okay! Now, on to the color!

Student Fashion Show

ucked away in a palm-shaded corner near downtown is a homegrown couture empire whose product has wrapped the torsos of such red carpet flash-bulb magnets as Lea Michele (Glee), Rooney Mara (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo), Kate Beckinsale (Much Ado, Emma, The Last Days of Disco), et al. What the heck? Haute Couture? Here, in our funny little sandbox tucked discreetly away betwixt LA and SF? Yes, sirs and madams. The De Marcos Fashion Academy (DMFA) has been somewhat quietly toiling away here in SB since 1981. Founded by former model Jodi De Marcos, the De Marcos Fashion Academy will, for the sixth time in as many years, be showcasing the work of a handful of young artists whose names will soon be known to fashion insiders from here to Timbuktu. Catherine Gee, Wesly Johnson, Kevin Valencia, Yun Zhu, Bridget Mitchell, Audrey Eamer, Fernanda Guzman,

Audrey Johnson, and Evangeline will be displaying their wearable art on gloriously strutting models specifically trained by Ms. De Marcos herself. Incandescent Los Angeles-based designer Katharine Kidd, a former SB student of Ms. De Marcos, will be the featured guest designer. General admission tix are $50, and VIP tickets are $100. Hence the Haute. $25 tickets will be available for standing room (or what Shakespeare’s theater manager called the Groundlings). All tickets may be purchased through the Arlington Theatre ticket box office. Two receptions will be held prior to the fashion show. At 7 pm, Fine Fabrics (1307 State Street) will host the general admission ticket holders, and ENGEL & VOLKERS (1323 State Street) will host the VIP tickets holders. Now hear this: through the years, Ms. De Marcos’s tutelage has seen some of our high school art students (at least one from SB High School’s VADA program)

Wednesday

September 9, 6 – 7:30 pm ■ Café KITP Presents Supernova Hunters at SOhO Restaurant and Music Club, 1221 State Street (upstairs in Victoria Court) find their feet in a vocation they might not otherwise have considered. This is not just gossamer. Come dip your toe in the River Glitz while checking out the work of some newly minted young creative types who aspire to be working artists. The next time you see these young designers’ names will surely be on the label of your new outfit. For more info, contact De Marcos Fashion Academy at Jodi@demarcosfashion.com or the Arlington box office. Roses and Drought “A rose by any other name is still going to gasp and holler for agua in the presence of a historical drought”, as the saying goes. Rose enthusiasts and those simply desirous of the floral company of dedicated gardeners and excited petalpushing conversationalists are invited to swing by the Louise Lowry Davis Center on the evening of Thursday,

Monday

September 5, 8 pm ■ De Marcos Fashion Academy Annual Student Fashion Show in the Arlington Theatre Foyer September 10. Mike Tully of Terra Sol Nursery will hold the floor as he explains the mechanics of keeping your thorny little friends alive in the nearabsence of water. Some roses are hardier than others, but they all need love. Stop in, soak up Mike’s expertise, make some new friends, and bring along a potted pal to show off (don’t misinterpret that last bit). Or, as the Rose Society press release says: “Guests are welcome, we have lots to share! Please bring any roses you would like to share or just show-off!” Now that’s an invitation that approaches the very heart of What We’re Here For. For more information, please call Holly at (310) 569-7090. Supernova Hunters We all know by now what a supernova is (no, it’s not One Direction combing their collective hair and conquering the Known World in a jiffy). Did you know that just about every second a dying star is exploding somewhere in the universe? Two thoughts: “What kind of celestial egotist has to actually explode in vacuum-filling radiant light at the moment of death?”, and “Dude, that’s a bummer. Duuuude! What if our star explodes?!” In our own Galaxy, the candy-bar-honoring Milky Way, a supernova occurs about every hundred years. How on Earth they know this I haven’t a clue, but it’s a fact. By observing distant supernovae, scientists have been able to determine the rate of the universe’s accelerating expansion. And every time a star explodes, it releases more “star-stuff” into space, the celestial magic powder that comprises our otherwise lumpen little bodies – and which phenomenon Crosby, Stills, and Nash reference (however obliquely) in their song “Woodstock”. Come to SoHo, have a highball and some garlic fries (they are miraculous here), contemplate your place in the firmament, AND the fact that all these billions of years after the Big Bang, the cosmos are still defined by fire and spinning stuff. Musta been a helluva bang. Like all the KITP talks, this one promises to blow your mind.

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Saturday

September 12, 6:30 – 8 pm ■ JCC’s 3rd Annual Feed the Funk concert at SOhO Sponsored by UCSB’s Kavli Institute for Theoretical physics. ART and FUNK The Bronfman Family Jewish Community Center (JCC). It is not a name that summons an anticipatory shiver of excitement. “Wow! You look fantastic! Where are you going, all dressed to the nines like that?!” “Me? Why, I’m off to the Bronfman Family Jewish Community Center.” Maybe it’s just me and my almost paralyzing cultural ignorance, but just when I thought I might be able to get my arms around what a “Jewish Community Center” is all about (quiet men in bowler hats and long

black coats walking in slow circles and murmuring mystery words like “kibbutz” in a room lit only by those Liberace candles – more or less), along comes this Bronfman outfit to turn the lights on. This place has got it going on: art, music, culture! Since 1999 the JCC has been a serious contributor to the local arts conversation, with its talky art openings and permanent exhibit, and this First Thursday event continues that tradition. On First Thursday, September 3 from 5 to 7:30 pm, drop in on the Opening Reception of a show of penetrating juried artworks by SB Art Association members. The art will occupy the JCC gallery space through Nov 10, but it’s only at this reception you can nibble appetizers, sip wine, nod thoughtfully and talk excitedly about positive space and chiaroscuro with an artsy First Thursday crowd. Make this First Thursday stop your first First Thursday stop. Know what I mean? Then on Saturday, September 12, from 6:30 to 8 pm, JCC’s 3rd Annual Feed the Funk concert at SOhO Restaurant and Bar (524 Chapala Street) Featuring Live Music by The New Vibe and the poppin’ funk sounds of the not-alwayspronounceable SoulFunkStication. $10 presale or $15 at the door, with proceeds going to DAWG. There will be soul-funk food, funky dancing, and funk attitude;

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Thursday

September 10, 7:30 pm ■ The Santa Barbara Rose Society talks “Roses and Drought” at the Louise Lowry Davis Center, 1232 De La Vina FUNK in all its glory! Saul Bellow in an enormous bow tie this is not (though this writer asks you to read Bellow’s A Silver Dish at least once in your lifetime). Come out and meet the JCC in one its many incarnations, and keep your eye on their calendar. They are a happenin’, culture-loving crowd… Being Mortal Is there a good way to die? A bad way? This film suggests the answer is yes. Based on a book by Atul Gawande

that questions the inherent value of one’s final days on Earth, the film follows the surgeon and author through a number of conversations with the dying and their survivors, some of whom he had a hand in treating and counseling, often to his regret. As tech allows doctors and hospitals to medicalize dying in all its forms, it becomes curiously reflexive to make end-of-life choices that are all to do with fighting to live, and not simply living. These perennially complicated questions are finding traction recently, as states grapple with end of life legalities and the “sanctity” of life is redefined. Screening of the film in the Faulkner Gallery will be from 5:30 to 6:45 pm on September 10, and a panel discussion will follow from 6:45 to 7:30 pm. Admission is complimentary, but registration is required by Friday, September 4. Go to www.vnhcsb.org/beingmortal to register and learn more. Light refreshments will be served. This movie is powerful and moving and often hard to watch, but goes to the central question: what is life? Another Fortnight; life, death, dancing, flowers, and fashion. Add comic actor Charles Nelson Reilly, and you have this mortal coil in a nutshell. Till next time, kids. See you here, there, or in the air.

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SYVSNAPSHOT

by Eva Van Prooyen Keeping a finger on the pulse of the Santa Ynez Valley: what to eat, where to go, who to meet, and what to drink. Pretty much everything and anything situated between the Santa Ynez and San Rafael Mountains that could tickle one’s interest.

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he Independent Grocer Alliance recently bestowed El Rancho’s sister store California Fresh Market in Pismo Beach with the Retail Grocery Store of the Year Award. Both stores boast aisles full of fresh meats, cheeses, produce, wine, original deli creations, gifts, and a juice bar featuring freshly made organic fruit and vegetable juices and smoothies. Where: El Rancho is located at 2886 Mission Drive in Solvang, and California Market is located at 555 Five Cities Drive in Pismo Beach Info: www.californiafreshmarket.com

End of Summer Dance Party

hat better way to launch into Labor Day Weekend and close out the summer than with a dance party at the Maverick Saloon? Two big music shows including local band the Molly Ringwald Project playing all your favorite classic rock music on Friday and the Soul Cats, a 14-piece band, playing great R&B songs from the 80s and 90s on Sunday. When: 8:30 – 11 pm Where: Maverick Saloon, 3687 Sagunto Street in Santa Ynez Cost: $10 at the door on Friday and $5 on Sunday Info: (805) 688-4785

The Santa Barbara Botanic Garden

Wine & Cheese True Tales from the Urban Fringe Register www.sbbg.org/wc5s

ucked inside a corner liquor store called Rio Market Wine & Spirits adjacent to Ace Hardware in Santa Ynez is SY Burrito – an insider’s secret to great Mexican food on the go. Consistently delicious, very tasty, fast service, clean, and serving huge portions, it has made me a fan of the chicken tacos piled high with fresh ingredients and with made-to-order extra crunchy taco shells with not a trace of grease to be found. When: Open 10 am to 8 pm; closed on Sundays Where: SY Burrito, 1051 Edison St. in Santa Ynez Info: (805) 688-0750

Save the Solvang Danish Date! Sat, 9/19 4 - 6pm

on’t miss your chance to kick off your clogs and gobble aebleskivers, sip Akvavit, enjoy folk dancing, shop for handmade crafts, and simply celebrate the Danish culture at Solvang’s 79th Annual Danish Days. The Danish Heritage Festival includes parades, vendors, living history museum, demonstrations, Viking reenactments, Kids’ Corner, and much more. When: Fri, Sept. 18 – Sunday, September 20 Fri, Sept. 18, at 7:30 pm - Danish Days Torchlight Parade. Free. Candles provided. Begins on Alisal Road and Laurel Avenue in Solvang. Fri, Sept. 18, at 8 pm - Danish Days Opening Ceremonies introducing Danish maid Mia Andersen. Live music. Solvang Park. Sat, Sept. 19, at 2:30 pm - Danish Days Parade. Winds through the streets of Solvang. Floats, equestrians, live music. Sat, Sept. 19, from 5:30 to 10 pm - Danish Days Dinner Dance. Barbecue, live music. Sun, Sept. 20, at 2:30 pm - Danish Days Closing Ceremony with maid Mia Andersen. Live music. Info: www.danishdaysdinnerdance.com

An evening of science storytelling including true tales of why the wrentit won’t cross the road, how our coyotes prefer fruit to cats and dogs, and 10 simple things you can do to help.

Oh Hey Rosé!

Join us for the Last Late Night of the Summer:

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W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

with Mark Léisuré

Mark spends much of his time wandering Santa Barbara and environs, enjoying the simple things that come his way. A show here, a benefit there, he is generally out and about and typically has a good time. He says that he writes “when he feels the urge” and doesn’t want his identity known for fear of an experience that is “less than authentic.” So he remains at large, roaming the town, having fun. Be warned.

Bouncing Back, Better than Bar B

he closing of the Circle Bar B Dinner Theatre at the end of last season after some 40 years out at the working ranch was one of the bummers of the summer. But now comes the welcome news that Susie and David Couch, the dinner theater’s actors-turned-owner/producers of the now-defunct company, will present a mini-season at the historic Timbers Restaurant in Goleta under the guise of Prism Productions. The place that has spent more time shuttered than serving over the last decade will host a threeshow series beginning in September and featuring Murder at Café Noir, Will Rogers’ America and The Farndale Avenue Housing Estate Townswomen’s Guild Dramatic Society presents A Christmas Carol. Just as at Circle Bar B, all of the shows will have a dinner format, but instead of having to traipse from the porch setting down a treacherous path to the theater that was converted from a barn, service will be right at your own table before the show begins. Nice! The first show is a murder-mystery – a comic one with music, to boot – in a kind of tribute to Bogart movies of the 1940s, and kicks off the season September 17-27. Local thespian Rich Hoag reprises his frequent role as the famed quipping cowboy in Will Rogers’ America, running for one weekend

only, October 22-25, while Farndale is a Noises Off-meets-Monty Python spoof on the Dickens’s classic to tickle the funny bone during the holiday season (December 3-13.) Tickets for dinner and the show are $49 general ($45 for seniors, students, and subscribers). Call 705-9598 or visit www.prismproductions.org. Meanwhile, we’re told the Timbers, located at 10 Winchester Canyon Road at the same exit for the Bacara Resort, plans to open a farm market and café in late summer and a restaurant in the fall.

Fall into Folk

The new season from Tales from the Tavern is just three weeks away, and individual tickets for the six-session concert series up at the Maverick Saloon in Santa Ynez went on sale last week. Several newcomers to the intimate showcase shows highlight the season, plus several popular artists returning to the concerts that feature in-depth looks at the artists beyond the music. Here’s the line-up: Sept. 16 – Joe Crookston / Vonda Shepard; Sept. 23 – Joel Rafael / Sam Baker; Oct. 14 – Jesse DeNatale / Tony Furtado; Oct. 21 – Toni Stern (special spoken word performance) / Michael Smith;

Nov. 4 – Erin McKeown / Malcolm Holcombe; Nov. 11 – Suzy Bogguss (the Nashville singer-songwriter made her Live Oak debut in June, and now she hits the Maverick 10 more miles up the San Marcos Pass for the first time). Details and tickets at www. talesfromthetavern.com.

It’s Goldish, Not Gold Fish!

Although his music can be as pleasing as pie, there’s nothing unsubstantial about Bruce Goldish’s playing. The Santa Barbara guitarist – famous for his frequent free, unannounced appearances at parking lot number 10 above the Metro 4 Cinema downtown, where his guitar licks resonate like an ethereal spirit from above – has also put out a few albums well worth hearing. Goldish – who hails from Duluth, Minnesota, which is also the hometown of a fellow you may have heard of who was born Robert Zimmerman – might be even more mellow about self-promotion, so when he sends me an email boosting new videos he has posted to his YouTube channel, we’re going to spill a little ink in his direction. In fact, we’ll run verbatim his blurb on one of his humorous entries, “The Bar Mitzvah Blues” (the fact that I’m partial to puns pretty much sealed the deal): “Bruce Goldish is making up for his sins. A ‘relaxed agnostic Jew,’ Goldish released two finger-style guitar singles, ‘Joy to the World’ and ‘Silent Night’ in 2011 (followed by his super-size 20-song album Dream Come True in 2012). Now, to even the praying field, Goldish’s shul-shaking single ‘The Bar Mitzvah Blues’ is available at online retailers such as iTunes and CD Baby, or on YouTube at http://

youtu.be/3BQSAT8php8, with visual aids of shvitzing on the bima and back stroking in a pool of gelt.”

Man about Town

If you’re sticking around over Labor Day weekend, we’ve got a couple of special events that might ease your frustration with the invasion of tourists into our tony town. First, there’s the Santa Barbara Studio Artists Tour, which winds through the highways and byways of downtown and its many outskirts covering nearly 35 artists, who will open their studio spaces to visitors on Saturday and Sunday (September 5-6). The tour begins with a preview on Friday night at the Corridan Gallery, at 125 North Milpas Street, where you can pick up the official SBSA Tour Map, grab a glass of wine and some hors d’oeuvres and plan your trip after viewing a single piece of art on display from each of the participating professionals. There are several new artists on the tour this year, covering everything from landscape painters to highly stylized photographers, so you’ll have a chance to view and maybe purchase works you haven’t seen before. Among the highlights are Michele Zuzalek, who received a commission from the Kappa Alpha Theta sorority at UCSB, and Cynthia Martin, a new exhibitor, who promises that visitors to her studio can sit on the deck, have a glass of wine, and enjoy the harbor and city views – taking in some of the source of inspiration for her paintings. Visit www.santabarbarastudioartists. com for more information and tickets, which are just $20 including the reception, or $15 each for two or more.

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...continued from p.8

“I got into absinthe around 15 or 16. At the time I discovered beer, I was studying the history of absinthe, the science of absinthe.” Absinthe, for those who may be unfamiliar with the liqueur, is a potent anise-flavored spirit so high in alcohol content, and otherwise reputed to have psychoactive properties, it was the sipper of choice in bohemian Paris (temperance posters of the time show a man alone in his parlor miserably clutching his head while nearby a green, self-satisfied siren floats in translucent mockery), and until fairly recently was illegal in many places. “At 15, I was having it sent to me from abroad; it was still illegal in

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the regional theater firmament itself. Holmes and Rosen would bump into each other at local coffee-and-candy haunt Vices and Spices on upper State, and Holmes got to know Rosen by his habits, and his passion for suds. “I went to one of his beer demonstrations where the theory was that the furniture you’re sitting on might affect the way you experience your beer. They had these, you know, these specialized chairs with this canopy that came over you and it’d be like – whaaaat?” He laughs. “It just takes you out of your normal element and makes you look at beer in a different way.” Holmes, no slouch in the “arduous

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September 9 at 11:30 AM REGISTRATION BEGINS AT 11:00 AM

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the U.S.“ Zach’s fascination with the lore of absinthe gave way to more prosaic libations. When he discovered beer in all its variety, and particularly the nuance and character that could be brought to it through know-how and care in brewing, he was in. And the something-from-nothing creative possibilities inherent in the creation of beers swept him away into a new interest. “I LIKE THIS PLACE AND WILLINGLY COULD WASTE MY TIME IN IT” he idea as it was presented to me, a pairing of a beer festival with Shakespeare…” Holmes arches his eyebrows in wonder and gives a little laugh. “Well, those are two of my favorite things.” Holmes retired in 2014 as San Marcos High School’s celebrated, and properly venerated, theater teacher, having made his mark in the lives of the kids he mentored in the school’s auditorium, and in

“T

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attention to detail” department himself, marvels at the detail Zach brings to his beer. “If a character makes a reference to an herb, Zach incorporates that into the brewing of the beer, or for instance intermingles the passion of Romeo with the bitterness of the young lovers’ experience. That care, when added to the artistry of the actors performing on stage, we hope that there’s a connection there, so that it’s not a beer festival, and it’s not a Shakespeare festival, but that it’s this wonderful merging of the two, where they mutually enhance one another.” And what of the Shakespeare? How difficult was it to adapt to this setting, where, in a sense, the crowd is completely unpredictable? “Well, in the Old Globe you had the Groundlings, the cheap seats, right there up front. The people were standing, you know.” Oh yeah! The Groundlings! “And Shakespeare wrote in a way that incorporated that energy, that spoke to those people in the audience. Like in ...continued p.19

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We’ve got some goodies for ya

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a r a b r a B a t n a S

The Empty Bowl

o-owner of the Empty Bowl Nui Pannak reveals in 5 Things; we let the cat outta the bag with our favorite thrift store – The Laughing Buddha – in the Obsessed With section; Neighbor Tim’s BBQ teaches us how to get our fried chicken on in Quick Bites; George Pendergast of Dishwalla opens up in Q&A; Chapala Farms hits our sweet spot; gardening and water conservation tips in Planting Roots; a fancy-er way to cider in Raising the Bar; tons of restaurant specials throughout; and more! As always, it’s a pleasure to hear from you: megan@santabarbarasentinel.com Instagram: @santabarbarasentinel Please, don’t be shy. Keep those emails coming!

Obsessed With:

ONTHESPOT:

A PLACE TO SHOP AND HANG OUT

LIGHT ME UP

he Laughing Buddha Thrift Shop has a special place in the hearts of Carpinterians. Specializing in “reincarnated treasures and antiques,” the new location on Linden Avenue welcomes all to enjoy the space, whether shopping or just hanging out in the big front yard. Founders Donna Kall and Mary Zeoli have created more of a “thrift boutique” with the intent to give back to the community.

B-born Warren Clark (who is fluent in Russian!) delivers custom, ambient lighting to enhance various canvases, such as enriching a photograph to animate movement, create an “infiniti mirror”, and much more. #Dope. His large scale murals can be found at the Velvet Jones stage and the outside patio of Seven Bar. Call to get your custom on!

Laughing Buddha Thrift 771 Linden Avenue, Carpinteria • Mon-Sun: 10 am to 7 pm (805) 220-6622 • www.laughingbuddhathrift.com

PANINO soups + salads + sandwiches p a n i n o re s t a u r a n t s. c o m

Warren Clark (310) 430-6770 • wclarkzero@yahoo.com

Open for Lunch Daily Los Olivos (805) 688 9304

Santa Barbara (805) 963 3700

Goleta (805) 683 3670

Solvang (805) 688 0608

Montecito (805) 565 0137

Santa Ynez (805) 688 0213

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itself,” Daniel says with a strange air of what must be called Joyous Impatience. The circularity of his summation notwithstanding, in plain terms SB Hustlers make themselves available, pro bono, so to speak, to nonprofits that need man and woman power to actualize fund-raising and other events (santabarbarahustlers.org). It was the brothers who approached Zach with the idea of a festival marrying the Bard with the Barley (“I immediately saw the possibilities!” Zach calmly explained to me), in effect inventing an affair at which they could throw their serviceand-consciousness-centric team. “The The Beer Guy explaining the merits of good beer to the SB Hustlers: Dan Colantonio, Bethany Klier, and Matt Turner (photo by Lerina Winter, Winter Creative Co.)

Come to Shakes’Beer and taste your way through 10 unique beers such as Figueroa Mountain’s Lizard’s Mouth Double IPA with Cardamom, Jasmine, and Dragon Fruit, plus more (photo by Lerina Winter, Winter Creative Co.)

Romeo and Juliet, when she comes in calling his name and Romeo says ‘oh, man; the way she calls my name – it’s the best!’ Well he’s not saying that to Juliet! Who’s it for? So we’re having some fun with that. It’s freeing for the actors.” “AS GOOD LUCK WOULD HAVE IT” he guys who whimsically came up with the idea of the fest are a couple of puckish human light bulbs from Boston named Daniel and Matt (who go by the names Sat and Sevadeep). Their outfit is a homegrown little peace train (Peace Locomotive seems more fitting) that calls itself Santa Barbara Hustlers for Peace and Prosperity. A scant 18 months old, the organization is, one might suggest, pure California: a consciousness-raising effort wearing the utilitarian clothes of a volunteer organization. “Yep. It’s the idea of teaming up a town around service to

mission is to impact every resident of SB by 2020.” When I ask by what means that ambitious and laudable goal will be measured, the reply is “Those are the metrics we’re figuring out right now.” This is the language of steely eyed marketers, and the brothers explain they do indeed come from that professional background. One thing is sure; the SB Hustlers are serious, genuine, and determinedly heart-driven. That much is crystal clear. And they are actualizing their audacious if ill-defined master plan one community-serving event at a time. They will make it happen. Whatever it is. ...continued p.20

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ALL THE WORLD’S A STAGE, AND ALL THE MEN AND WOMEN FAIRLY RELAXED PLAYERS hakespeare in the Park this ain’t, but for SB it is a bold new experiment in public, outdoor classical acting, in the round, and in the midst of pleasantly nodding beer-sampling tweed-jacket types with meerschaum pipes and monocles, most of them. Back downstairs, I visit briefly with the doomed lovebirds who with their actor comrades will be bringing William to the masses. Josh Jenkins (if that’s not a stage name, it oughta be) is tall and fair and Romeo-esque, which is a real theater word. What’s he expect, going in? “I’ve never worked with beer-tasting and Shakespeare,” he says with some amused hesitation. “You throw a little beer in the mix and it could get boisterous. And we’d have to match that. It’s probably going to be a little bit more like the way the audiences were when the plays were written.“ His expression briefly betrays his mind’s eye. He snaps back-to, and he laughs. “The thing about live theater is that anything can happen. Anything can happen. When the stuff hits the fan, you gotta roll with it.” He pauses, then laughs. “You gotta roll with it!” Marisol Miller-Wave, Juliet for the purposes of this piece, appears

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When theater director David Holmes says “Jump!” the actors jump. Come to Shakes’Beer and watch as they jump, dance, and crawl through a selection of Shakespeare’s works. (photo by Lerina Winter, Winter Creative Co.)

unflappable, and no wonder. As a former student of Holmes, she may feel a level of trust that mitigates some of the unknowns that surround the evening. She has also had an inoculating and varied career of the sort that will have long since settled her mettle, from Holmes’s tutelage at SMHS to PCPA’s (Pacific Conservatory Theater) acting

program and big summer production, to several years of regional theater, and then, of course, the obligatory job singing in Atlantic City and then touring Mexico with that same act, which quite predictably led to a gig singing in a casino in China for a year. I suggest she is likely making some of this up. “I had a very interesting early twenties,” she understates masterfully. “I pretended to be Italian in a casino in Macau, China.” Well, who hasn’t done at least a little of that? One suspects Marisol will be fine. Her name alone should carry her through. Never mind her Italianate warbling in the casinos of Macau. THE PLAY AND THE BEER’S THE THING his inaugural Shakes’Beer Fest will take the temperature of both the organizers and the attendees. For Zach Rosen, this is an enormous opportunity to demonstrate that nuanced beermaking is an art form, as open to interpretation as a Pollock or a Rothko. Like a Heisenberg-Principled quantum speck changing its behavior because it is being observed, so is something as prosaic as the tasting of beer subject to the thousand different stimuli surrounding

...continued p.28

Save WaTer DUring DroUghT We have no Water To Waste • Automatic sprinkler systems are the #1 use of water in our city, adjust & check your system every month. Lake Cachuma is at 21% of capacity

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We are all in this together!

Call 564-5460 for a free Water Check Up. The City is here to help. WaterWiseSB.org

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UPCLOSE

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by jacquelyn De Longe

The close-knit staff at ParentSquare keep the conversation flowing between parents and teachers (from left): Kristen Morrison, Kym Paszkeicz, Anu Vaid, Sohit Wadhwa, Linn Sillers, and Wendy Mirbod

Taking a closer look at the people, places, and things that make Santa Barbara so unique. This freelance writer’s credits include newspapers, magazines, and copywriting. When Jacquelyn is not writing, practicing Pilates or yoga, you can find her chasing her two kids and dogs around Santa Barbara. Contact Jacquelyn at www. delongewrites.com

PARENTSQUARE: DIGITALLY LINKING PARENTS AND TEACHERS

ith the new school year shuffle underway and businesses ramping back up for their next quarter projections, parents are swamped in their home lives and work places. Communication is key to keeping those jam-packed work and school schedules flowing smoothly, and there is no better modern-day way than with ParentSquare, a parent and educationbased social network. It began a few years ago in four test schools here in Santa Barbara and has exploded across the country, continuing to expand. If you haven’t heard of it yet, you will soon as it is already being used by many in Santa Barbara, from preschool to high school. “It grew from 45 schools last year to 180 very rapidly. We were in 1 or 2 states, Illinois and California, and now we are in 22 states. It has just been a great journey this past year,” says ParentSquare CEO and creator, Anupama Vaid. “In the beginning, it was mostly a growing and learning time. We were experimenting, ‘Okay, does this work? Does it not work?’ The education industry was very new to us. About three years ago, we went for a bunch of awards and we thought, ‘Hey if we get awards, we get recognition and people interested’ – and we did get a ton of awards. Whenever we applied we got the award. We got the best Ed-Tech product award as voted by the teachers, and we shared that award with Google Apps for Education, Canvas Instructure, and all these big companies with millions of users, and that was amazing to see!” ParentSquare was Anupama’s brilliant idea. She is a former working parent and local resident who left her career as a computer engineer to stay at home with her children and become more involved with their schools. It was shortly after spending sometime in their classrooms that she realized how much she had been missing out on during those long days she working in the office. “I used to be a working parent when my daughter was in kindergarten and my son was in preschool, and it was getting so crazy. So when my son was in his last year of preschool, I just decided to quit my job because it was just to much and I decided to stay at home. That was the time when I actually went to the school and worked to be this awesome room mom who got things done and I was like, ‘Wow, I was missing so

ParentSquare creator and CEO Anupama Vaid

much being a working mom.’ And that was the realization that, hey, there need to be a better connection between teachers and parents who cannot meet face to face.” The light bulb turned on, and she began developing the education communication tool from home using social network models such as Facebook, focusing on the ease of communication. Anupama thought, “Make it easier, the teachers to send messages home, it doesn’t have to be a meeting… just something easier for every single parent.” As her children grew and her youngest entered kindergarten, she had a decision to make: either return to work full time or really commit herself to ParentSquare. She passed her concept to the school’s principal. “She said, ‘Yes! Let’s try this.’ So even before I had any product, I had my first customer.” Anupama jumped into action, getting together a team of programmers to build the product as quickly as possible. This award-winning site is so much more than simple a “Hey, look how cute my kid is” website. It is a secured private forum to improve the dialogue around children’s education. Parents can easily reach out to one another, their children’s teachers and the school administration and in return the administration and teachers can keep parents directly involved in their child’s daily academic activities. Pictures can be posted. Text alerts can be sent. Alumni databases can be created. Teachers’ wish lists and parents’ volunteer lists are accessible by all. There is even an automated-translation option for emails, so there are minimal language barriers between parents and teachers. The site is a dream for working parents,

PTAs, PTOs, teachers, and after-school programs such as the Boys & Girls’ club. Everyone in one place, no matter where he or she is, and everyone up-to-speed with what is going on in their child’s school. “The hope is to enable greater conversation not just (administration) type of messages… learning conversations and especially when your child goes to middle and high school, it can totally drop off,” says Anupama. Over the past few years, numerous awards in innovation and education have been bestowed upon the company. Most recently, Anupama herself was honored the 2015 Spirit of Entrepreneurship Award in Science and Technology. She proudly accepted the distinction, “It is truly an honor to receive this award and to be recognized among all the inspiring and

accomplished women nominated for these awards. Much like ParentSquare, this award was founded with the vision of making a positive difference in our community. At ParentSquare, we help schools and families work together to play an active role in children’s success at school.” Personally, I am delighted to be raising my children in a town with such inventive and accomplished female role models as Anupama Vaid. With my first child starting kindergarten and my second in preschool this year, I couldn’t be more please to have learned of ParentSquare in Santa Barbara schools. I take great comfort knowing that with social tools like this, I will continue to be involved in their learning, as both of my children embark on their education journey.

Fresh Local White Sea Bass

Now in Season!

LUNCH •

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Reservations • (805) 564-1200 • Free Valet Parking • By The Boats 113 Harbor Way • chuckswaterfrontgrill.com • endlesssummerbarcafe.net

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POINT VIEW

SPONSORED BY:

t Samy’s Camera, the employees use and understand the equipment they sell. If you want the best advice on camera gear, visit your only local camera shop in downtown Santa Barbara, where they match most online prices.

SAMY’S SERVICES INCLUDE: • Camera & Video Sales • Film Processing • Digital Printing • Metal Prints • Full Rental Facility • Pro Lighting • Audio Equipment • And Much More

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PHOTOGRAPHER:

Samy’s Camera • 530 State St, Santa Barbara, CA 93101 • (805) 963-7269

Joshua Shelly Samy’s Camera Rental Dept since 2014

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by Christina Enoch

Sea scallops (avocado, ruby grapefruit, corn salsa, chorizo vinaigrette)

AMERICAN FARE? PUT A FORK IN IT

hef James Siao serves up simple and fresh modern American cuisine with a nostalgic twist. Indeed, there is a restaurant rapidly capturing my heart. Finch and Fork. We just celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary there. The restaurant is situated at gorgeous Kimpton’s Canary Hotel in Santa Barbara and executive chef James Siao is behind the food that I keep coming back for. Exquisite mission architecture, sophisticated rustic, comfortable, friendly staff, farm-to-table drool-worthy food. I’m telling you, it’s a keeper this time around. First thing first: it’s simple. No dishes has more than six ingredients. I love unpretentious food prepared right; not a big fan of overly done dishes. The cuisine here tastes fresh, balanced, and alive. To name of a few personal favorites: field greens (pistachio vinaigrette, ricotta salata, dates, lemon garlic breadcrumbs), blistered Shishito peppers, sea scallops (avocado, ruby grapefruit, corn salsa, chorizo vinaigrette, ribeye (trumpet mushrooms, cipollini onions, chimichurri, fingerling potatoes), and Tuesday’s buttermilk fried chicken. They went through countless testing to create it – the best fried chicken you will ever taste. “We are modern American cuisine, but I’m trying to keep some menu items that are nostalgic as well – such as deviled eggs, fried chicken, pot pie. It’s all about people, connection, experience, and memory. I love connecting with our local regulars and have themed evenings that will appeal to everyone.” Chef James loves coming out of

Sunchoke trout, pickled salmon, pecans, capers, and brioche toast

Chef James Siao cooks up modern American dishes with nostalgic twist

Blistered shishito peppers. I’m obsessed with these little Japanese peppers.

After years of working full time for an ad agency, Christina found her passion in cooking and food. Now armed with her newfound title, “Culinary School Graduate Food Blogger,” she writes and shares her passion for food, cooking, restaurants, photography and food styling in her popular blog, black dog :: food blog. Christina’s a proud mommy of not one but two shelter dogs and lives here in Santa Barbara with her husband. She’s also an avid Polynesian dancer, beach lover, traveler, swimmer, snowboarder and most of all, a lover of anything edible and yummy. Check out her ramblings here and at www.blackdogfoodblog.com.

his kitchen and chats with people. Maybe his personal touch makes the place more special. All of you have probably driven by this place. Just valet your car, come in. You will find me wearing flip-flops while drinking Au Bon Climat Pinot and eating prime rib. Join in and wipe my face, please. • Daily: Monday – Burger+Beer, Tuesday – Buttermilk Fried Chicken, Wednesday –Bouillabaisse, Thursday – Pork and Cork, Friday – Seafood Pot Pie, Saturday My favorite! Ribeye steak with trumpet mushrooms, cipollini onions, chimichurri, fingerling potatoes.

It’s at Kimpton’s Canary Hotel, with gorgeous mission architecture venue in downtown

Pickled farmers market veggies on the table. I could eat jars of these and Nutella and be happy forever.

– Farmers Market Lasagna, Sunday – SlowRoasted Prime Rib. Doesn’t this sound fun? • Swirl and Sip, Summer Rooftop Monday Wine Tasting is also not to be missed. • Chef James is featured in www. savorcentralcoast.com/. Check out the event coming in September; meet and greet him along with all of your favorite celebrity chefs. Finch and Fork 31 West Carrillo Street, Santa Barbara

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Local LIBATIONS RINGO’S RESCUE RED

onway Family Wines has partnered with Dog Adoption Welfare Group (DAWG), a no-kill environment since 1991. The creation of their newest wine, Ringo’s Rescue Red, is inspired by their beloved rescue pup, Ringo (seen on label). One dollar from every bottle is donated to support DAWG. 100% Merlot, 100% Santa Ynez Valley, 100% pure love. Deep Sea Tasting Room 217 Suite G Stearns Wharf Santa Barbara Mon, Tues, Wed, Sun: noon-8 pm Thurs, Fri, Sat: noon-9 pm (805) 618-1185 conwayfamilywines.com

SPECIAL RECIPES FROM TALENTED CHEFS IN SB

QUICK BITES N

eighbor Tim – a nickname he’s held since 2004 – is in the business of barbecue. In 2014, he and his team started the catering business, Neighbor Tim’s BBQ, because he thought the Santa Barbara community was hungry for perfectly smoked Texas brisket and (North) Carolina-style pork. “Neighbor Tim’s BBQ mission is to bring people together as neighbors, all the while enjoying the best smoked brisket and pork available,” Tim says. “Oh, and now Nashville Hot Chicken!” Neighbor Tim, we can’t thank you enough.

NEIGHBOR TIM’S BBQ NASHVILLE HOT CHICKEN Ingredients:

1- 4 or 6 lb whole chicken cut into 12 pieces, breasts halved 4 cups buttermilk 4 cups flour 3 large eggs 1 bottle favorite vinegar-based hot sauce (i.e., Texas Pete)

Directions:

Salt and pepper your chicken pieces, then marinate in 1/2 of Buttermilk overnight. Whisk eggs, remaining buttermilk, salt and 1/2 bottle hot sauce in large bowl. Whisk in another bowl your dry ingredients. Dip chicken in the fresh buttermilk mixture, dredge in the flour mixture, set on a rack. Heat your oil to 350 in a deep cast-iron pan or Dutch oven. Working in about 4 batches, lay 3-4 pieces in. Your temp will drop to 325 and maintain at 325. Chicken is done at 160 for white and 165 for dark. Transfer to a cooling rack. Dash with more hot sauce to your desired taste. Serve on white bread and pickles. Grab a lot of napkins. Grub.

6 tsp cayenne pepper 2 tsp salt, pepper, chili powder, cumin, garlic powder, paprika, brown sugar 10 cups vegetable oil for frying

Neighbor Tim’s BBQ • (805) 845-2230 www.NeighborTimsBBQ.com • Instagram: @NeighborTimsBBQ

Raising the Bar

CIDER AND CHEESE PAIRING

anoir De Grandouet is best paired with a Willoughby or Harbison cheese by Cellars at Jasper Hill. Both cheeses can be found at The Culture Counter Co. at the Santa Barbara Public Market.

FAVORITE BARTENDERS AND SERIOUS COCKTAILS

ne of the many hot spots in the Santa Barbara Public Market, Beer + Wine, has a wide selection of – you guessed it – beer, wine, and sake! Sam Doernte, a certified Sommelier, was drawn to the space for the lively environment and a vast array of selections. Thinking outside the box, he presents us with a Manoir De Grandouet cider from Normandy, France. The subtle effervescence with fine bubbles resembles a champagne body in comparison to American ciders. According to Sam, the cider has “barnyard rusticity and funkiness that works well with cheese.” We’re all about the funk.

WHAT’SAPPENING PARENTAL ADVISORY

B-based ParentSquare is on a mission to keep parents connected to their children’s school. Check messages from teachers, principals, PTA/PTO boards, and other parents – and comment back. View calendar dates, sign up for items needed in the classroom or volunteer opportunities, view pictures of class projects, and more. School’s in session. Download the free app today.

www.parentsquare.com

Wine + Beer at the Santa Barbara Public Market 38 West Victoria Street, shop 113 (805) 770-7701 • wineplusbeer.com Instagram: @WinePlusBeer_SB

SweetSpot: J

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JAM ON!

ason Banks – a local chef, urban farmer, and beekeeper – along with partner Michelle Decaris produces Chapala Farms, a line of jams, jellies, and marmalades made with ingredients sourced from local farmers markets. A staple when it comes to care packages, try Strawberry Rhubarb Jam (the most popular flavor), or sample them all and let your taste buds fall in love again and again.

Chapala Farms (805) 448-2808 • ChapalaFarms@gmail.com • www.chapalafarms.com

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Behind the Vine

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Animal House

by Hana-Lee Sedgwick

Hana-Lee Sedgwick is a digital advertising executive by day and wine consultant and blogger by night. Born and raised in Santa Barbara, she fell in love with the world of wine while living in San Francisco after college. Hana-Lee loves to help people learn about and appreciate wine, putting her Sommelier certification to good use. When not trying new wines or traveling, she can be found practicing yoga, cooking, entertaining, and enjoying time with friends and family. For more information and wine tips, visit her blog, Wander & Wine, at wanderandwine.com.

SISTERLY LOVE

eet sisters Kelly (grey) and Piper (black). They love to go for walks every night along the beach and hang out at some of the local wineries with their owners, Stacey and Derrick Bailey. In true sister form, Piper likes to antagonize her older sister, then later they can be found cuddling together on the couch at night. Says Stacey: “They are our kids, and we can’t imagine life without them!” Derrick and Stacey – your kids are adorable!

SIP, SAVOR, SHOOT, REPEAT! Eat This, Shoot That’s newest wine and food tour in downtown’s Wine Collection of El Paseo

here’s certainly no shortage of things to do in this town, but when you can fit wine tasting, history lessons, photography tips, and food sampling all into a two-and-a-half hour period, you jump at the chance! It’s all possible with the newest food and beverage tour offered by Eat This, Shoot That! ETST). We first heard about Eat This, Shoot That! a few years ago, when fellow columnist Julie Bifano shared her experience of the then-new food and photography walking tour started by local photography teacher Tara Jones. Tara first came to Santa Barbara to study at Brooks Institute of Photography, but it was her love of taking pictures, food, and all things Santa Barbara that led her to start ETST. Her idea has since taken off, and now ETST offers three different specialty tours in the Presidio and Funk Zone neighborhoods. You don’t have to be a tourist to enjoy them! I was able to join Tara for a fun afternoon on the El Paseo Wine Tour, which takes you through downtown’s historic Presidio neighborhood to sample wines and winefriendly fare in and around the Wine Collection of El Paseo. Six tasting rooms make up the Wine Collection, clustered among beautiful Spanish-style courtyards and side streets, and each showcasing their unique styles of wine from Santa Barbara County’s different AVAs. It’s a perfect place to meander down historic pathways, sip on local libations, and learn a few tips and tricks for taking the perfect food photos. For example, if your food doesn’t look appetizing enough, try spritzing a little water on it. Who knew?

The tour started off with a stop at the Hoffman Brat Haus for a tasty brat sampler before visiting the first winery on the tour, Jamie Slone Wines. Here, we sampled a couple of his Bordeaux and Rhône varietals before heading next door to Au Bon Climat for Jim Clendenen’s cool climate and highly regarded Chardonnay and Pinot Noir wines. After a few tastes of wine, refueling at C’est Cheese with local and imported cheeses was a much welcome stop on the tour. Yum! Around the block, we ventured inside the second-oldest surviving building in California, called El Cuartel. Tara explained that this was the family residence of the soldier assigned to guard the western gate into the Plaza de Armas. We snapped a few pics before cruising down to taste Doug Margerum’s popular wines at Margerum Wine Co. But wait, there’s more! Next, we stopped into family-owned Grassini to try a few of their bold Happy Canyon reds before making our final stop at the polo-inspired tasting room of Happy Canyon Vineyard for more Bordeaux varietals. By the end, you’ll be feeling pretty good! The tour is leisurely but enjoyable, and Tara does a great job of combining her friendly, down-to-earth nature with historical tidbits and professional photography tips and tricks. So, if you’re looking to brush up on your Santa Barbara history, need an excuse to finally visit the Wine Collection of El Paseo, or just want to take Instagramworthy food (and wine) photos, then check out Eat This, Shoot That! Tours range from $69-$79. Cheers!

To see your pet in ANIMAL HOUSE/Pet of the Week, email a photo, name of pet and owners, and something fun about your pet to megan@santabarbarasentinel.com

PlantingRoots

by Frederique Lavoipierre Director of Education at Santa Barbara Botanic Garden

FABULOUS SUMMER FLOWERS

n our dry climate, California native plants have a reputation for looking shabby during the hottest months. That may be true in the wild, especially during this devastating drought. But in our gardens, we can have beautiful natives year-round with a bit of planning. If you yearn for a garden full of flowers in the summer, try some of our beautiful native perennials, which can thrive with just a bit of supplemental water. According to the City of Santa Barbara Public Works Department, make your water go even further by retrofitting spray sprinkler nozzles with water-efficient, rotating nozzles that can reduce your landscape water use by 20 percent. Retrofitting to drip irrigation can save even more! Evergreen shrubs such as Manzanitas and Ceanothus look good year-round, and provide a great background to summer flowers. For information, check out the City’s water conservation website at www.SantaBarbaraCA.gov/WaterWise. City of Santa Barbara – Public Works Department PO Box 1990, Santa Barbara • (805) 897-2672 www.SantaBarbaraCA.gov/WaterWise

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5 ThingsYouDidn’tKnowAbout:

ike so many Santa Barbarians, we are in lust with the Empty Bowl. When we’ve tried to recreate the Northern Thailand Curry Noodle at home, it is, of course, never the way coowner Nui Pannak does it. Not even close. Nui’s cooking talents began during childhood, growing up in a small countyside village just outside of Bangkok, Thailand, with five sisters and one brother. About 15 years ago, she moved to Santa Barbara. The rest, you can say, is SB Thai food history. 1. I graduated from University with a visual communication art degree. That’s what I wanted to be. But life is about change and sometimes you just don’t fall into your career path. I had a visual communication art job for about two years after graduation. One day, I got a call from a good friend of mine who was living in Vancouver studying English. She asked me if I wanted to come over to study English. I joined her and was in Vancouver for about a year to learn English. I was having a good time, learning a new culture. Then my friend who was living in SB called me one day and ask me to move to Santa Barbara. At that time, I really didn’t have much going on in Vancouver so I said, “Okay, why not?”

2. I learned (to cook) from watching my dad and sisters while they would cook and harvest our organic farm. My mom and dad are both farmers. I grew up surrounded with fresh herbs and vegetables. I learned a lot while watching my dad and helping him prepare big family meals. Since our family is so big, we would have to cook a lot of food in big batches. Most of the time, we would pick from our garden to make our family meals. We will also use all the herbs to make different types of curries. All I can remember were all the fresh herbs and vegetables when I was harvesting it. Everything was organic. That was normal at that time.

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NUI PANNAK, CO-OWNER OF THE EMPTY BOWL

Q&A GEORGE PENDERGAST of

DISHWALLA

t’s been 20 years since Santa Barbara’s own Dishwalla released the album Pet Your Friends, which is home to the hit single “Counting Blue Cars”. Wanting to share a love of rock ‘n’ roll, drummer George Pendergast began a non-profit music program in 2009 called Rockshop Academy, offering lessons to kids and adults alike. George takes a moment to catch us up on his SB life.

3. Empty Bowl Gourmet Noodle Bar is my first commercial kitchen – I’ve never cooked in a commercial before. I (used to work) as a server in a Thai restaurant (and learned from). But I love to cook at home. Sometimes I think I don’t know that much, but when I cook, I have a pictures of my dad doing something and it pops up in my head. It’s kind of like learning from watching. After that, your brain gives you memories and everything comes together. 4. I have a son. He’s 10 years old and his name is Tan. He’s in fifth grade and goes to SB Charter School in Goleta. He is so proud of me. He wears Empty Bowl T-shirts all the time to school. People ask him about it, and he says, “My mom owns the Empty Bowl. You should try my mom’s food!” 5. I love to do meditation and spiritual practice. This is a part of my life, to keep learning and personal growth. I practice “Anapanasati” from Buddhism. The way Buddha taught is keep breathing in and breathing out, and if you think to something else, you have to cut off and come back to yourself. Stay with yourself, stay in that moment. I use that for work. Some things come up very fast, and meditation helps me stay in a peaceful state. I do sitting meditations, and then I’ll I do it when I’m working. I can’t let things overwhelm me, so I have to come back and breathe. Empty Bowl at the Santa Barbara Public Market 38 West Victoria Street, #109, Santa Barbara • (805) 335-2426 • www.emptybowlnoodle.com • Instagram: @EmptyBowlNoodle.com

Sublime Spaces

by Andy Wood

AN URBAN OASIS

wo blocks off State Street – bounded by Santa Barbara, Micheltorena, Garden, and East Arrellaga streets – you can find the Alice Keck Park Memorial Garden, a space reclaimed from urban development. In 1975, Alice Keck Park gave the land to the city as a park in perpetuity to be, “rural in feeling” and to be designed by a landscape architect chosen by the Santa Barbara Botanic Garden. Today, it has winding paths through areas designed to bloom with the seasons. Visitors can stop at the gazebo to get a view of the pond full of ducks and turtles or visit the meadow to watch the butterflies, all while taking in aromas of a variety of trees and plants.

Alice Keck Park Memorial Garden 1500 Santa Barbara Street, Santa Barbara • (805) 565-5484

Q. What is your best memory of making the album, Pet Your Friends? A. They sent us to the East Coast, because at the time you were supposed to be angry and angst and have something to be mad about. And we’re from Santa Barbara and we weren’t mad about anything. So they sent us to Philadelphia to kind of toughen us up. There was a deli that was basically like the “Soup Nazi” on Seinfeld, where if you weren’t ready... I walked up to the counter and said, “I think I’ll have...” and he said, “If you want to think, go to the back of the line. Next!” And that was just kinda funny. We were just a bunch of nice guys from Santa Barbara that hadn’t really been subjected to any of that before. What local bands are you listening to? There’s a band called The Caverns, which 2/3 of them are kids who grew up here and literally started playing the instruments they are playing in that band here at the shop. If you’ve ever seen a band jam – and I don’t mean a “jam band.” It’s a little heavier rock than a jam band – these guys go so far out, it doesn’t seem like there’s any possible way they could land it, but they do every time. Our first band through Rockshop is a band called False Puppet and they are on the Warp tour, so I have been kinda checking them out. Rockshop Academy Studios 1109 De La Vina Street (310) 463-3653 info@rockshopacademy.com www.rockshopacademy.com Instagram: @RockShopAcademy

Local

the

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PLANB by Briana Westmacott

When Briana isn’t lecturing for her writing courses at UCSB and SBCC, she contributes to The Santa Barbara Skinny, Wake & Wander and Flutter Magazine. Along with her passion for writing and all things Santa Barbara, much of her time is spent multitasking through her days as a mother, wife, sister, want-to-be chef and travel junky. Writing is an outlet that ensures mental stability... usually.

HOW TO END A SUMMER FLING Adios, Summer! Thanks for all of the adventures.

ear Summer, I’m going to get right to the point; I am breaking up with you. As much as I have enjoyed your warmth and free spirit, I am entirely over you. The children need to get back to school. Now. I will cherish all of the memories that we shared. Our time spent frolicking on the sheet white shores of Mexico will not be forgotten. My girls both learned to surf on your watch. The lure of the deep blue water in Lake Tahoe, the long evenings on the deck at Brophy Brothers, the weeks spent at Nana’s ranch – I feel blessed that you gave us all of this. But I must say, I have grown tired of cleaning up all of the wet towels and sand that comes along with your good times. It’s not you; it’s me.

To be candid, I fell hard for you in the beginning. But the honeymoon only lasts so long. The balmy nights and sun-kissed skin just couldn’t compete with the sibling fires that ensued. At this point, you are driving us all crazy. For some reason when you are around, the kids completely ignore every word that I say – as if they are possessed by you. I can only hope that the teachers’ whistles and school bells will exorcise you, because I no longer have control. That’s right, I concede to you, Summer. You won. You predominated my household. There are no longer bedtimes. The chore list that I printed out back in early June is stained and ignored on the wall. The workbooks that were once studied have all gone missing (deliberately, I suspect). And

Lila could really use some bells and whistles

speaking of missing, I have not been able to see the actual floor of my kids’ rooms for a least a week. I give up. On another note, you have completely stripped me of any sense of self. I have no time to take care of anything that does not involve little people. You should see my nails and hair! Days go by without a proper shower. I actually consider a dip in the pool to suffice. And any attempt to fit in a workout, forget it! In a way, you have ruined me. So, I bid you farewell, Summer. I will happily be heading up the car line at school drop-off. We are moving forward, into new grades with fresh kicks on our feet and crisp backpacks on our shoulders. I can’t wait for homework; all of the assignments and projects are

welcomed. We are done, Summer, every alarm in the house is set for 7 am. And I promise I will never complain about packing the lunches again. I have one final plea, Summer; as the girls begin their new school year in second and fifth grades, please keep an eye on them. As they venture out on the playground and in the halls, make sure they are treated with kindness and that they walk with confidence. Help them to find fulfilling friendships and to flourish within their learning environments. If you do this, I can forgive you for all of the clutter and chaos that you brought into our home. There’s a good chance that I will forget it all and take you back next year. Much love, B

BRIANA’S BEST BET

he best months in Santa Barbara are September and October. The temperatures still spoil us, and the beaches are no longer painted with tourists (or kids during the weekdays). My ideal day would start with a hike up Romero Canyon, followed by a swim at Butterfly Beach, and culminate with a cocktail on the deck at Brophy Bros. Indian summer perfection!

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W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

...continued from p.20

BRUNCH BUNCH

Casa Blanca

he Chilaquiles is a bright dish by Casa Blanca, combining homemade tortilla chips with ranchera sauce or tomatillo salsa (your pick). It’s topped with a couple easy eggs, pico de gallo, sour cream, guac, and queso fresco, so all you need is a mimosa, bloody Mary, or margarita to wash it down. Brunch is served Saturday and Sunday starting at 10 am. Casa Blanca Restaurant & Bar 330 State Street, Santa Barbara • (805) 845-8966 Mon – Fri: 11 am – close • Sat and Sun: 10 am – close www.casablancasb.com • Instagram: @SB_CasaBlanca

and affecting the participant. That’s what thrills Rosen. “The more I learned through my Cicerone training, and the more I trained my palate, the more I realized it wasn’t the beer that was changing. It was me.” He pauses to marvel at his own pronouncement. This livewire surprises even himself. “My overall body of work

over the years is trying to show that beer is art, or more specifically, that beer can be used as a medium for art. Just like painting.” The Shakes’Beer Fest on the evening of September 18 could thus be considered a gallery opening. With bells on. Rosen, Holmes, and the Hustlers have put together a watershed event that will likely be the beginning of a new era,

It’s not all just beer to throw an event like Shakes’Beer. Stage managers Sam Flynn and Daphne Verschore work behind the scenes to keep the performances rolling smoothly. (photo by Lerina Winter, Winter Creative Co.)

or if the Hustlers have their way, a new, uh… paradigm? Holmes is giddy, in his comparatively sanguine way. “When I held auditions for this, there was a long waiting list. We have some of the best actors you’ll ever see working in this production. And we’re totally on track for any kind of outcome,” he laughs. “Everyone is so willing to give, it’s been really, really

nice. There is a super sense of shared purpose. I’m grateful. It’s going to be a terrific evening.” Tickets for the very first Santa Barbara Shakes’Beer Festival may be purchased from the Santa Barbara Hustlers for Peace and Prosperity website: www. santabarbarahustlers.org/calendar/5073shakes-beer-festival

STEAKS ON STATE:

Holdren’s Steaks & Seafood

SPECIALIZING 30

ROLEX • CARTIER • TAG HEUER

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ALL BRANDS

ower State Street provides a cozy retreat in the hands of Clay Holdren of Holdren’s Steaks & Seafood. The chophouse sets an intimate tone with dim lighting and cozy nooks, just right to indulge in the prime 14-ounce New York Strip. Add a glass of your favorite red wine to complete the feast. Holdren’s Steaks & Seafood • 512 State Street (805) 965-3363 • www.holdrens.com Instagram: @Holdrens_SB

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IHeart SB

AU G U S T 2 9 – S E P T E M B E R 1 2 | 2 0 1 5 |

BY Elizabeth Rose

I Heart SB is a social experiment in dating and relationships through stories shared with and experienced by a thirty-something living in the Greater Santa Barbara area. All stories herein are based on actual events. Some names, places, and timelines have been altered to preserve anonymity and, most of all, for your reading enjoyment. Submit stories (maximum 700 words) to letters@santabarbarasentinel.com.

DID I SHAVE MY LEGS FOR THIS?

he buildup was pretty grand. We had met a couple times through mutual friends before he got the courage to ask me out, which I happily accepted. A dinner date for Tuesday night at Arigato was penned in my calendar, and from our past interactions, it seemed it would be an easy-to-talk-to, fun date. He called to follow up, using sentiments such as, “I’ve had a crush on you since day one,” and, “We’re going to have a great time!” It was sweet. He was excited. I was weary. If I’ve learned anything about dating it is do not, I repeat, do not have expectations. You will always be let down (life lesson). But, of course, I allowed myself to think this would be different. Especially when I received a text the night before: “Tomorrow is Tuesday! I’m so looking forward to our date!” Expectations had me by the ovums, and I was the next victim. Tuesday, I find myself traveling up State Street. I take one last glance in a reflective store window (best way to fully scan an outfit, pre-date) and stroll up to the future scene of the crime. He greets me with a slight hug, no smile. What’s his deal? He mentions there is a 45-minute wait and asks if I prefer to sit inside or out. “Whatever is easiest!” And whatever will lighten the mood. We grab a drink and sit. Awkwardly. I start the 20-questions game – my interview skills kicking in, in the clutch – to do something, anything to make time to go by. He’s quiet, despondent, and a little... hmm, what’s the word... a wet blanket, that’s it. (We will now refer to him as, “WB”.) But his attitude was not going to ruin my evening. Not one bit. And yes, I thought about calling it a night right then and there, but I had driven all the way downtown and made the effort. Plus, I was having a good hair day. After what seemed like three years, the host asks if we’d like to sit at a table or the sushi bar. With pleading eyes, I say, “Sushi bar, please!” hoping it didn’t come out as desperate as I felt. (Sushi bar = more people nearby and more distractions.) I set my drink down (Sauvignon Blanc), and we get settled. As soon as the server leaves

with our order of sea urchin and salmon roe on oysters on the halfshell with quail egg (called the “Up All Night”, highly recommend.), I ask him the question he’s been fishing for the entirety of this date. “Are you okay?” This is how the conversation went:

He greets me with a slight hug, no smile. What’s his deal? ER: “I don’t mean it in a bad way, but is everything all right?” WB: “Really? I thought I was doing a good job at hiding it.” Um, no. Not at all. “I found out some really bad news from work this morning, and I’m kinda depressed about it.” Did you find this out before or after you called to confirm the date this morning? [Gulp of wine] “So... what happened?” “I don’t want to talk about it.” [Twenty minutes of “not talking about it” and a second glass of wine later...] “I tried to pump myself up today, to get excited for the date.” “Okay.” “Actually, I thought about canceling...” “You should have! I would have understood!” Seriously dude. You should have. I totally get it. Now. “I’m really sorry, I feel like a putz.” “It’s okay. You just need time to yourself, to digest everything,” “Yeah.” [Awkward pause] “I just want to go home and watch Netflix.” Holy sh*t, did he just say Netflix? “Please, do! Please go watch Netflix.” That was the best idea I heard all week. So, ladies and gentlemen, another story of expectations swallowing a victim whole and spitting ‘em out – with a little help from Netflix, my savior of the night.

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CINEMA SCOPE

by James Luksic A longtime writer, editor and film critic, James has worked

nationwide for several websites and publications – including the Dayton Daily News, Key West Citizen, Topeka Capital-Journal and Santa Ynez Valley Journal. California is his eighth state. When he isn’t watching movies or sports around the Central Coast, you can find James writing and reading while he enjoys coffee and bacon, or Coke and pizza.

Good Night?

ust when we assumed M. Night Shyamalan had drowned from his saturated Lady in the Water or committed professional suicide with The Last Airbender (the “last straw” was more like it), our favorite Indian filmmaker is back like a bad rupee. The Visit, an aspiring horror flick about an older couple who does the opposite of spoiling their grandkids, visits the Central Coast on, coincidentally, September 11. It will be interesting to see whether the resilient writer-director (whose first initial stands for Manoj, not “Mid” or “Mysterious”) can return to suitable standing. As for current rubbish sullying our cinemas, filmgoers don’t need much guidance to avoid Sinister 2, which parted ways from its spooky and wellconceived predecessor (buoyed by Ethan Hawke) while opting for torturous scenes peopled with unknowns. Faring better to a degree is the hard-to-define American Ultra, whose potential isn’t impaired by Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen Stewart in the central roles; their wild ride crashes under the weight of a shallow, ultra-violent climax. Least and last: as if the title Hitman: Agent 47 wasn’t reason enough to avoid such a toxic thriller, its brainless trailer should’ve sealed the deal. A checklist of the latest diverse trinity, the first of which is hardly worth mentioning:

The Grating Escape

o Escape pursues the path of an American businessman (Owen Wilson, serious as rent) moving his family to the other side of the globe, amid political upheaval. When radicals run amuck, conditions become unspeakable for his wife (Lake Bell of Million Dollar Arm) and young daughters (shamelessly used), along with a British infiltrator (Pierce Brosnan). There’s no escaping the xenophobia set in an unspecified site (“Welcome to Asia!”), and soon the gratuitous, slow-motion viciousness is so redundant and punishing as to become unwatchable. Any redeeming value could be described as invisible.

Straight Up

he box-office bully Straight Outta Compton, as foreshadowed in recent columns, tells the true tale of the influential hip-hop group N.W.A., stretching from the 1980s into the 2000s. The biopic, named after the stars’ debut album, has cynics who bemoan that director F. Gary Gray is biased and thus excluded Dr. Dre’s history of domestic violence toward women. My take, meanwhile: this depiction thrives as a tenacious, insightful, and poignant piece of work – one that supersedes 1999’s lazy Straight out of Compton with unforeseen ease. Anybody with an aversion to rap music and obscene lyrics won’t be as

AU G U S T 2 9 – S E P T E M B E R 1 2 | 2 0 1 5 |

impressed, just as other viewers (earlier this year) didn’t hurry to hear Amy Winehouse’s distinctive vocals in her eponymous documentary, or The Beach Boys in Love & Mercy. The latter included Paul Giamatti, who resurfaces here as N.W.A.’s first manager and promoter. Indeed, most supporters prove beneficial: highest marks go to Corey Hawkins as aforementioned Dre, slightly above Jason Mitchell, whose effort grows stronger as Eazy-E gets weaker. Behind the scenes, Gray orchestrates not in a “straight” and narrow fashion but a crooked and twisting one; it’s a surefire sign of the times and the record industry.

Oh, Man

he Man from U.N.C.L.E., based on the modest mid-1960s TV program set during the Cold War’s zenith, wafts into theaters not as stale air but a revitalizing breeze. Henry Cavill, who came across more as a supermodel than superhero in Man of Steel, won’t change too many minds here as a thiefturned-agent – though he delivers wisecracks with stone-faced style and comic timing. His counterpart is Armie Hammer (who had us seeing double in The Social Network), possessing a rough-and-tumble approach to match a rough Russian accent. Alicia Vikander (whose career literally came to life in Ex Machina) nails her born-to-play role as the cheeky, brazen love interest. At the helm, Guy Ritchie reflects sufficient spirit and moxie, if not exceptional skill and instincts; various set pieces feel too pristine and overprepared, leaving little to chance. Other passages balance the narrative, bristling with banter and aesthetic eloquence. Compared to the summer’s overhyped standard comedies, Vacation and Trainwreck, this U.N.C.L.E. – despite having a foot stuck in the past – is funnier than either.

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