Editorial

Gwyn Lurie is the CEO of The Montecito Journal Media Group and the Executive Editor of the Montecito Journal. She served on the Montecito Union School Board for eight years, including five years as Chair. Gwyn is the former Chair of Santa Barbara County Child Welfare Safety Net Task Force. She and her family have been residents of Montecito for more than 10 years.

Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word W hy is it so hard for politicians to say: I’m sorry? Why has the apology become the very last resort? I wondered this when Bill Clinton took so long to pseudo apologize for his behavior with Monica Lewinsky… and lied to Congress about it. I wonder this about Donald Trump – who seems to operate under the assumption that his supporters are more willing to forgive a lie than an apology. And I wondered this at our Montecito candidate’s debate when County Supervisor Das Williams was asked by KCRW’s Jonathan Bastian if, knowing what he knows now, would he do anything different regarding his actions on the cannabis issue? Even after being handed a golden opportunity to take some responsibility and apologize for his part in the admittedly messy situation, our Supervisor pivoted, shifting the culpability to the previous Board of Supervisors for allowing “non-conforming” cannabis growers to qualify for provisional licenses.

There is no shortage of politicians demurring from opportunities to apologize, which has always vexed me given my belief that people generally appreciate authenticity, sincerity, and remorse. Not to mention that these qualities are foundational to our justice system, where expressing remorse can have a strong influence on sentencing.

In my effort to understand why it seems verboten for public officials to apologize for wrongdoing or even for mistakes, I reached out to Frank Luntz, the author of Words That Work, a pollster and pundit best known for developing talking points and other messaging for Republican causes. As one of the best known political and communication consultants in America today I asked Luntz why he thinks it is so hard, or strategically disadvantageous, for leaders to apologize. I wondered if polling supported this pervasive refusal to take responsibility for missteps in public life and if therefore political consultants advise their clients not to apologize at any cost.

Bottom line: What is the thinking behind never apologizing? “I disagree with the thinking,” Luntz said flat out. “The thinking behind it is that reporters will not record the apology. They will, instead, say ‘I told you so,’ giving people a reason to attack even further. But I don’t agree with that. Some reporters do that, but the public really appreciates those people who are willing to acknowledge they got it wrong. And that even though we have a generation, starting with George W Bush, to Obama and Trump, who would never apologize, we have seen throughout history, just how favorably the public feels towards those who acknowledge a mistake.”

I agree. I told Luntz how much I appreciated it when Mayor Pete Buttegieg stood on an early debate stage and, when asked about a controversial and politically wrought situation in which a South Bend police officer shot and killed a black man, he did not run from the truth. “It’s a mess,” Buttegieg said. “And we’re hurting.”

“I thought that was the best moment of the debates,” Luntz said. “And he was treated well by some news outlets. And other news outlets used it to say, ‘I told you so.’ But some of it is intent. If you’re truly sorry, it should be recognized as such. If it’s just a line that was given to you by your political consultant, then it’s meaningless.”

“We now have many candidates, both in business and politics, that consider an apology to be weak,” Luntz said. “Starting with our President. And remember, he once said that if he got something wrong, he would apologize for it. Well, he apparently has had 1,000 days of only correct statements. There is no perfection. But you are correct, politicians in the last twenty years have run away from apology and I think that’s a big mistake. Both strategically and ethically.”

“What culpability do you think the people have? Do we hold our leaders to too high a standard and therefore are motivating them to lie?” I asked Luntz. “No. I think if you put yourself forward to represent the voice and the will of the people, you should be expected to achieve that 100% of the time. You won’t, obviously, and there are times that you come up short. But in those times, you need to acknowledge it. That’s part of the responsibility of governing. And

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