Communicating Matters Setting Intentions for a Bright 2023

by Jude Bijou

In approaching resolutions, it’s beneficial to step back and reflect on what you’ve learned and accomplished during the previous year. Be sure to keep looking until you come up with something you are proud of.

With that in mind, it’s easier to set some goals for the coming year. The idea is to shift your attention away from your shortcomings, bad decisions, and less than stellar behaviors, and just focus on making yourself more to your liking. Your ambitions don’t have to be earthshaking, but should reflect how you’d like to grow towards your potential.

For me, it’s asking myself, “What will bring me more joy, love, and peace for 2023?” I pose this question because happiness and personal fulfillment revolve around these three emotions. Joy, love, and peace are also the opposite of our other three emotions: sadness, anger, and fear

Ten Possible Intentions

Here are some suggestions for ways to create the coming year one to remember. I’ve also noted what emotion each enlivens.

1. Lavish praise on yourself for what you do and who you are. (Joy) This combats the tendency to compare oneself to the wonderful things others may know, have, or accomplish. Praise can take the form of appreciating yourself at the end of the day or whenever you notice you’re subtly, or not so subtly, belittling yourself.

2. Vigilantly combat your negative judgments of others by looking for the positive. (Love) Find something good in what others wear, say, or do. There must be some positive thing you can substitute to counter your trashy thinking. The goal is to find our commonality, not to accentuate our differences.

3. Voice an appreciation in every interaction. (Love) This is a corollary to number two. Saying something positive isn’t being a Pollyanna but merely an opportunity to uplift yourself and others. It feels good to be the sender as well as being the recipient. Giving voice to what you appreciate is an exercise to build positivity and goodwill.

4. Don’t offer unsolicited advice. (Love) When not requested, sharing your “wisdom” is rarely received as you intended. I’ve learned (but sometimes forget) that I must ask for and receive permission before imparting my views on others about their situation. When I don’t, my sage advice lands with a thud since I’m out of my own backyard.

5. Procrastinate less. (Peace and Joy) If you are called to do something or assume a responsibility; then just do it. You’ll waste less time and energy. If there is a call to make, pick up the phone. It won’t get any easier tomorrow.

6. Speak up when it matters. (Joy) Being passive and letting situations unfold in ways that don’t resonate or feel productive will eventually leave you feeling angry and/or sad. When we don’t chime in, it’s easy to withdraw from the interaction. If speaking up is difficult, just gulp and take the leap. You can always preface what you say with, “This is hard for me and...” signify the official opening of the school, and guests were then invited to tour the campus and classrooms.

7. Set modest guidelines for exercise and eating. (Joy) It is a proven fact that eating good food and moving the body increases health and feelings of well-being. Maybe just limit the amount of coffee, wine, ice cream, chocolate, or fast food you eat. Try making it a priority to go for a walk at least every other day.

8. Live in the present. (Peace) This could take the form of daily meditation, being in nature, playing with your dog, or just spending less time in your head. The more time you stay out of the past and the future, the more you feel grateful and in awe for what’s in front of you right now.

9. Check-in with your intuition. (Joy and Peace) When uncertain about a given course of action – pause, breathe, and ask within (not your mind) what you know is best. This strategy can be used whether it is accepting an invitation for a social activity, taking a job offer, leaving a relationship, or finding a new living situation. No matter how large or small the question, answers from within, rather than our “should,” hold us in good stead.

10. Forgive transgressors. (Peace, Love, and Joy) If someone has wronged you, deal with your sadness, anger, and/or fear. Then seek to truly walk in their shoes and remember we are all just doing our best. Look for your part and your lessons. After you do your inner work, determine what if anything you need to do to fully resolve the issue at hand and if so, do it. See if you can make it all the way back to love.

Instead of a smörgåsbord approach to change, I suggest you pick one or two things and put your energy into those goals. It’s easier to stay focused on them, rather than overwhelm yourself with too many good intentions.

I suggest you write your goals on paper or your favorite electronic device and on the first day of each month, review and remind yourself of them. Focusing on a couple of gems throughout the year will help brighten your 2023 and keep you moving in your desired direction. And don’t forget to praise yourself for all your little steps.

Jude Bijou, MA, MFT, is a psychotherapist, educator, and workshop leader. Her theory of Attitude Reconstruction evolved over the course of 40 years working with clients and is the namesake of her multi-awardwinning book.

Keynote attendees included Teacher in Charge Shannon Colson with teachers Alison Bryant and Cristina Villa, their Office Manager Terri Hall, and school Custodian Ofelia Hernandez; CUSD Trustees: Vice President Andy Sheaffer, Aaron Smith, Sally Green, Eric Bridgford, Jayme Bray, and Jaclyn Fabre; Measure U team members including Jim Pettit, Jeanessa Lopez, and Miguel Baeza; Citizens Bond Oversight Committee of Chairperson Gary Blair, Vice Chair Angelina Lane, Jennifer Cota, Terra Stephan, John Duston, John Franklin, and Eric Panofsky; the CarpSummerland Fire Department Marshall Mike LoMonaco and team, First District County Supervisor Das Williams, Carpinteria City Manager Dave Durflinger, Steve McGillivray, and former student John Morrison for the bagpipe music.

411: https://summerland.cusd.net

Los Padres ForestWatch Trails App

Director of Conservation and Research for The Los Padres ForestWatch Bryant Baker has announced their new phone app for the public to find real time information on forest and trail closures and conditions.

Baker says: “Due to damage caused by severe winter storms earlier this month, many trails and roads have been closed to public access. It’s important to know where the public can and can’t go. We’re excited to release a new interactive tool to explore the status of trails and roads throughout the southern Los Padres National Forest, the Santa Monica Mountains National Recreation Area, and dozens of local parks and preserves.”

The app details regional trails, access roads, major roads, regional protected areas, ranger districts, designated wilderness, and shows public access status.

Head over to the app via the QR code or the link: https://arcg.is/OjTar

Los Padres ForestWatch protects wildlife, wilderness, water, and sustainable access throughout our region’s public lands along California’s Central Coast for the benefit of our communities, climate, and future generations. They work in conjunction with all local forest services and local trails organizations. Check out their website for updates, events, careers, and internships!

411: https://lpfw.org test flight, and we dashed upstairs.

As we headed up, we were draped with sunlight, sending streaks through the stained-glass window and lighting us up with an array of purple, pink, green, and teal. Once we arrived on the second level, we were met with a fantastical assortment of speed-focused exhibits. Taking center stage is the Muzzy Family Speed Track. In this permanent fun zone, visitors build race cars and zoom them down the threelane coaster-like track.

Bertucci and I paused for a moment to watch two kids race their modded-out cars. The winner cheered; the loser got busy building a more aerodynamic model. We exchanged knowing looks then strolled down a hall that opens into a game room, including a pinball machine visitors can tweak to their taste. At first glance, it looks like an ‘80s-era arcade piece, but is actually an open-faced magnetic board with obstacles, ramps, and targets that can be swapped mid-game. I tried it out and all too soon the metal ball dropped through my flippers.

Back in the museum’s office space, I was plotting a return trip to redeem myself when Gose mentioned that her children are frequent visitors. Her nine-year-oldson, Owen, is already thinking like the next director of MOXI.

“Um, mommy,” Gose said, replicating one of her and her son’s frequent interactions, “Do you need advice for new exhibits? I have some ideas.’’

It’s a good thing Owen has ideas as MOXI is clearly going to be around for a while.

MOXI’s new after-school program for the 2022-2023 school year brings the museum experience to students off-site. Museum staff will facilitate open-ended, student-centered design challenges based on different exhibit areas of the museum.

The after-school program was successfully piloted at three Santa Barbara Unified Title I schools: Monroe Elementary, McKinley Elementary, and Cleveland Elementary. It will soon be prototyped with fifth and sixth graders at six different campuses across two school districts, where it will serve about 100 students with an approximate 600 hours of on-campus facilitation that culminates with a field trip to MOXI. The program will also be tested at three Goleta Union schools in the spring of 2023.

“It’s not necessarily that every kid is going to be able to walk out and know Newton’s laws of motion,” said Gose, “but they will be able to walk out with a keener sense of innovation, attention to detail, ability to ask questions, plus an interest and an ability to test, retest, and build and create. And have that comfort with taking risks and comfort with failure and trying it again and iterating so they can get to what feels like success for them.”

If you’d like to learn more about visiting MOXI, reserving a field trip for your school, or finding ways to show your support, visit moxi.org or call (805) 770-5000.