Tools for Life

New program builds social and emotional skills in K-Grade 5

On a recent Thursday afternoon, third-graders took a seat on the classroom floor to talk about their mistakes. They weren’t in trouble, or rehashing a particular event. They were simply learning about what to do when they make a mistake; they were learning about the importance of apologies.

Santa Catalina Lower and Middle School has implemented a social and emotional learning program called Toolbox for kindergarten to grade 5. The program is structured around 12 tools—described as “human capacities that reside within us all”—that empower students to understand their emotions, show empathy toward others, resolve conflicts, maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions. Each tool is associated with a physical object and a hand gesture to help students connect with the targeted skill. For example, a tape measure represents the Breathing Tool, which students can use to grow calm; the tape’s symbol of expanding and retracting suggests inhaling and exhaling. During the discussion about mistakes, students learned about the Apology and Forgiveness Tool, represented by a bottle of glue and a gesture that mimics two hands stuck together. Like glue, the tool can be used to mend something (trust, a friendship) that is broken.

Each tool is associated with a physical object and a hand gesture to help students connect with the targeted skill.

Third-grade teacher Cris Ford learned about Toolbox at her previous school. “At the time, I was teaching a second-grade class that was particularly challenging, and for me it was just the biggest gift that I had been given,” she says. “This is the answer to helping me have this common language with them, for them to be able to express their own needs or work through something that might be causing them anxiety or stress.”

When Ford mentioned the program during her Catalina interview, it piqued teachers’ interest. She rolled it out in third grade as a sort of pre-pilot in 2017–18, and it worked so well that Catalina sent five more teachers for training over the summer. Together, the teachers are helping the rest of the K–5 team implement the program in their classrooms. Toolbox will now be a permanent fixture in the curriculum.

Third-graders show off toolboxes they created to store paper representations of their tools. It gives them a physical way to interact with the concepts.

Here’s how it works: Students learn about all 12 tools at the beginning of the year, then do deep dives on each tool. The program emphasizes the first four “gateway” tools: Breathing, Quiet/Safe Place, Listening, and Empathy. With each lesson, students talk about situations in which the tool might come in handy. Maybe they can use the Patience Tool when they’re waiting for the teacher to answer their question, or the Personal Space Tool when they’re feeling crowded in the lunch line. Each tool comes with suggested books to help spark discussion, and students are encouraged to share what they learn at home with their parents.

Teachers use the tools, too. Ford notes, “Teachers go first. We have to model it.” By using the tools, teachers not only demonstrate the how and why, but also show students that it’s OK to express their feelings. Ford says she uses the Breathing Tool all the time but is also fond of the Garbage Can Tool, which allows her to just “throw away” the little irritants that turn into mental hang-ups.

Teachers draw on the tools even outside of dedicated lessons. Ibi Janko Murphy ’83 weaves them in during her religion classes as a way to make the stories tangible. “The Listening Tool comes up all the time,” she says. Sometimes, her students apply the tools when she doesn’t expect it. During one discussion about the story of the Prodigal Son, Murphy had planned to talk about jealousy and how we can overcome it by being grateful for what we have. Instead, one student looked at the parable and saw a jealous older son who didn’t use his Empathy Tool. “They continue to make those connections, and they make them in ways that surprise me all the time,” Murphy says.

Third-grade teacher Cris Ford helps students brainstorm ways to apologize as part of a lesson on the Apology and Forgiveness Tool.

On the playground, the tools help students become problem solvers. Teachers wear lanyards that include multicolored cards for the 12 tools. If students approach a teacher during recess to report an altercation on the playground, the teacher can point to the cards and ask which tools would help resolve the conflict. Ford says, “Each time we go through it, there’s a validity that happens, where the person who’s been wronged feels they have a voice, and the person who has done the wrong knows they can correct a mistake. We solve these little problems right away with these tools.”

That, in turn, makes students better learners. “Whenever there’s any kind of social-emotional hiccup in a child’s day, that’s all the child is thinking about. The child is not available to learn,” Ford says. “So that’s why we take the time to clear [the air], so when the child comes back into the classroom, his or her brain is fully capable and free to focus on the learning at hand.”

The 12 Tools

Here are the 12 tools and their taglines:

Breathing Tool — I calm myself and check in.

Quiet/Safe Place Tool — I remember my quiet/safe place.

Listening Tool — I listen with my ears, eyes, and heart.

Empathy Tool — I care for others. I care for myself.

Personal Space Tool — I have a right to my space and so do you.

Using Our Words Tool — I use the “right” words in the “right” way.

Garbage Can Tool — I let the little things go.

Taking Time Tool — I take time in and time away.

Please and Thank You Tool — I treat others with kindness and appreciation.

Apology and Forgiveness Tool — I admit my mistakes and work to forgive yours.

Patience Tool — I am strong enough to wait.

Courage Tool — I have the courage to do the “right” thing.