Fast X Review

BY ALEX DE VORE alex@sfreporter.com

Full disclosure? I’ve only seen the first Fast and/or Furious movie from 2001, but I must ask—what the hell happened with this series since then? Like, what in the emmer-effing, essing, effing eff happened? I thought these movies were about a cop who got Point Break’d by a car thief/mechanic and then they stole cars and stuff while racing? That first one was fun, even, but it turns out in Fast X from director Louis Leterrier—whom you likely know from movies like Now You See Me and The Transporter—the principal characters from eight movies I didn’t see now work for some kind of clandestine agency (called, get this, The Agency) and the things they must do are so absurdly over-the-top in the least fun ways that...y’know what? We should’ve sent a fan to review this, maybe.

In Fast X, Dom Toretto (a particularly wooden Vin Diesel) and the gang (people, I assume, from previous Fast films, such as Michelle Rodriguez and Charlize Theron) run afoul of this guy Dante (Jason Momoa, whose portrayal of mental illness is disappointing and lazily based in disaffected Joker-esque errati-

6 + BARUCHEL IS EXCELLENT - HOWERTON IS FORGETTABLE; REMINDS US PHONES ARE PRISONS cisms) whose father they killed in a previous movie. He’s back now and attacks Dom’s family, which is the one thing everyone knows Dom hates. So the crew jetsets around the planet hacking stuff and driving fast and firing guns and driving some more until your head spins. Then Brie Larson appears to say, “You’ll never get away with this, bad guys!” followed by John Cena (who is way too good an actor to do this crap) and Jason Statham, furrowed brow and all (he belongs here). Then a car falls out of a plane. Then you nod off in the theater for about 15 minutes, but come to just in time for the cliffhanger conclusion you don’t care about but that makes you wonder if you’ll ever see the sun again. Then you’ll wish the new SpiderMan cartoon had come out this weekend like you’d thought it would.

Uh-oh, friends and cinephiles, it seems we have unwittingly wandered into the timeline wherein filmmakers pump out business-glory prattle like the one about the Nike shoe guys and the other one about the janitor guy who invented Flamin’ Hot Cheetos (who, the Los Angeles Times reports, did not actually invent said Cheetos). One could easily argue such films fan the flames of today’s sick brand worship. And though BlackBerry from writer/director Matt Johnson seemingly straddles the style, another take ultimately emerges: Progress ain’t pretty and people are jerks.

BlackBerry recounts the rise of Canada’s Research in Motion, the company founded by nerds who created the first-ever smartphones in the 1990s. Of course, by today’s standards, BlackBerrys would be woefully out of date, but there once was a time when an email and instant messaging machine that could also phone was the height of amazing in the business and private sectors. Most of our phone habits were born of BlackBerry and, according to the movie, RIM controlled nearly half of the entire cellphone market at one point. Johnson’s film looks at how the company got there, how its founders were ill-suited to compete in a rapidly evolving marketplace and how the iPhone singularly crushed practically all competitors shortly after its 2007 first-gen launch.

Anyway, Fast X is stupid, even by the specially-made extra low bar by which these films deserve to be evaluated; and it is loooong. Too long. It’s long and stupid and bad. It’s not even fun in an

Here the inimitable and underrated Jay Baruchel (Man Seeking Woman—maybe the funniest show ever) tackles Mike Lazaridis, the soft spoken co-CEO and co-founder of RIM who totally gets the tech but not the people. His foil, as it were, is Jim Balsillie (Always Sunny’s Glenn Howerton), a brash and success-obsessed capital-B businessman type who drops F-words while trampling anyone who doesn’t show him the respect he believes he deserves. Baruchel has an undeniable vulnerability throughout the film, even when the chips are way down. Howerton, however—who has proven he’s got chops on shows like AP Bio—takes the cartoonish route. Some of this comes down to the writing, but in contrast to the legendary Michael Ironside as a bullish exec meant to keep the phone nerds in line...well, let’s just say quiet, threatening rage feels scarier than nonstop shouting any day. If the goal was to prove how real-life Balsillie was all bite and no substance, then mission accomplished. Still, Howerton delivers an irksome and dimensionless performance

There are enjoyable yet briefer turns from vets like Cary Elwes as the PalmPilot sonofabitch who thwarts Balsillie whenever possible, or Saul Rubinek (Frasier) as the Verizon guy who helped BlackBerry conquer the world. Johnson himself takes on a role as Lazaridis’ partner and friend, Doug Fregin, though his constant reminders that nerds enjoy Ninja Turtles and Spielberg movies and Doom feel less like sly nods and more like Balsillie’s nuclear tirades—awkward. And so it goes up until the mid-aughts, when the SEC took a look at the company; and the disastrous BlackBerry Storm release. That phone was meant escapist way like John Wick, nor bombastic like the recent and pretty enjoyable Guardians of the Galaxy movie. Instead, it’s written badly (thanks for nothing Dan Mazeau, Justin Lin and Gary Scott Thompson), its actors act badly (all the lines are like, “I took him down and I’ll take you down!” or, like, “I did it to protect you, John Cena’s nephew!”), its music and cinematography are forgettable and even its car-fuballet nonsense that finds people driving up walls or out-driving explosions or turning kayaks into planes (not kidding) plays so terribly that you almost want to call up Rita Moreno and Helen Mirren (they’re both in this thing somehow!) and ask them if the producers just straight up drove dump trucks full of money to their houses. C’mon Vin Diesel, you’re Groot, bro. Try a little, jeeze.

FAST X

Directed by Leterrier to be the iPhone killer, but did you have one? Did anyone? The film posits that something like 93% were returned or forgotten. And though there’s no question that RIM and BlackBerry changed how we live, do business and interact with our phones and tech—not to mention how data is packaged and sold—Johnson and company don’t quite broach the question we should really be asking: Was it actually for the better? (ADV) Violet Crown, R, 120 min.

With Diesel, Rodriguez, Momoa, Cena, Mirren, Moreno Regal, Violet Crown, PG-13, 141 min.

Still

8

+ INSPIRING AND NOSTALGIC

- OVERUSE OF DRAMATIC B-ROLL

It’s tempting to describe the arc of Michael J. Fox’s advocacy for Parkinson’s research in a direct course from the actor’s diagnosis at age 29 with an early onset of the disease. Yet, the new documentary Still candidly explains how Fox hid his illness for seven years before he publicly acknowledged what he thought at first must be the “cosmic price” he had to pay for skyrocketing Hollywood success.

The script distills some of Fox’s wordsmithing from his four books into a story that vacillates between the late-night circuit and the red carpet, and his daily reality of medication and physical therapy to adjust to diminishing functions. There’s a good measure of nostalgia as many viewers already know the story: His breaks came first with TV sit- coms, then stardom followed when Back to the Future and Teen Wolf hit No. 1 and No. 2 on the Blockbuster chart the same week in August of 1985.

Director Davis Guggenheim makes great use of Fox’s myriad roles, using clips from The Secret of My Success and Family Ties, for example, as story devices in Fox’s own timeline. In Still’s interview segments, Fox discusses the irony that for the early years of his television and movie career, he never stopped moving. Then, as the tremors, rigid muscles and spasms that characterize the disease descended on him, stillness eluded him in a new, involuntary way.

The Marty McFly sparkle lingers in his blue eyes, but looking into Fox’s 61-year-old face as he struggles to form words can take one’s breath away. He explains a thrust into work, depression and alcoholism that comprised his initial response to the illness; he only went public after it became too difficult to hide.

Pity him not, Fox admonishes: “If you pity me, it’s never going to get to me. I’m not pitiful. I’ve got shit going on. I am a tough son of a bitch. I am a cockroach.”

True that: Fox famously fought back by establishing a philanthropic foundation for Parkinson’s research and advocating to Congress. To date, he’s raised more than $2 billion and he’s still at it. (Julie Ann Grimm) AppleTV+, R, 95 min.

by Matt Jones

Psychics

Mind Body Spirit

Rob Brezsny Week of May 24th

ARIES (March 21-April 19): My reading of the astrological omens inspires me to make a series of paradoxical predictions for you. Here are five scenarios I foresee as being quite possible in the coming weeks. 1. An epic journey to a sanctuary close to home. 2. A boundary that doesn’t keep people apart but brings them closer. 3. A rambunctious intervention that calms you down and helps you feel more at peace. 4. A complex process that leads to simple clarity. 5. A visit to the past that empowers you to redesign the future.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Do you want a seed to fulfill its destiny? You must bury it in the ground. There, if it’s able to draw on water and the proper nutrients, it will break open and sprout. Its life as a seed will be over. The plant it eventually grows into will look nothing like its source. We take this process for granted, but it’s always a miracle. Now let’s invoke this story as a metaphor for what you are hopefully on the verge of, Taurus. I invite you to do all that’s helpful and necessary to ensure your seed germinates!

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Your meandering trek through the Unpromised Land wasn’t as demoralizing as you feared. The skirmish with the metaphorical dragon was a bit disruptive, but hey, you are still breathing and walking around—and even seem to have been energized by the weird thrill of the adventure. The only other possible downside was the new dent in your sweet dream. But I suspect that in the long run, that imperfection will inspire you to work even harder on behalf of your sweet dream—and this will be a blessing. Here’s another perk: The ordeal you endured effectively cleaned out stale old karma, freeing up space for a slew of fresh help and resources.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Testing time is ahead, but don’t get your nerves in an uproar with fantasy-spawned stress. For the most part, your challenges and trials will be interesting, not unsettling. There will be few if any trick questions. There will be straightforward prods to stretch your capacities and expand your understanding. Bonus! I bet you’ll get the brilliant impulse to shed the ball and chain you’ve been absent-mindedly carrying around with you.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Biologist Edward O. Wilson said that the most social animals are ants, termites, and honeybees. He used the following criteria to define that description: “altruism, instincts devoted to social life, and the tightness of the bonds that turn colonies into virtual superorganisms.” I’m going to advocate that you regard ants, termites, and honeybees as teachers and role models for you. The coming weeks will be a great time to boost your skill at socializing and networking. You will be wise to ruminate about how you could improve your life by enhancing your ability to cooperate with others. And remember to boost your altruism!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Jack Sarfatti is an authentic but maverick physicist born under the sign of Virgo. He suggests that if we make ourselves receptive and alert, we may get help from our future selves. They are trying to communicate good ideas to us back through time. Alas, most of us don’t believe such a thing is feasible, so we aren’t attuned to the potential help. I will encourage you to transcend any natural skepticism you might have about Sarfatti’s theory. As a fun experiment, imagine that the Future You has an important transmission for you— maybe several transmissions. For best results, formulate three specific questions to pose to the Future You.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I have five points for your consideration. 1. You are alive in your mysterious, endlessly interesting life, and you are imbued with the fantastically potent power of awareness. How could you not feel thrilled? 2. You’re on a planet that’s always surprising, and you’re in an era when so many things are changing that you can’t help being fascinated. How could you not feel thrilled? 3. You have some intriguing project to look forward to, or some challenging but engaging work you’re doing, or some mind-bending riddle you’re trying to solve. How could you not feel thrilled? 4. You’re playing the most enigmatic game in the universe, also known as your destiny on Earth, and you love ruminating on questions about what it all means. How could you not feel thrilled? 5. You never know what’s going to happen next. You’re like a hero in an epic movie that is endlessly entertaining. How could you not feel thrilled?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Trust those that you have helped to help you in their turn,” advises Scorpio author Neil Gaiman. Let’s make that one of your mantras for the coming weeks. In my astrological understanding, you are due to cash in on favors you have bestowed on others. The generosity you have expressed should be streaming back your way in abundance. Be bold about welcoming the bounty. In fact, I hope you will nudge and prompt people, if necessary, to reward you for your past support and blessings.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): So many of us are starved to be listened to with full attention. So many of us yearn to be seen and heard and felt by people who are skilled at receptive empathy. How many of us? I’d say the figure is about 99.9 percent. That’s the bad news, Sagittarius. The good news is that in the coming weeks, you will have an exceptional ability to win the attention of good listeners. To boost the potential healing effects of this opportunity, here’s what I recommend: Refine and deepen your own listening skills. Express them with panache.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Because you’re a Capricorn, earthiness is probably one of your strengths. It’s your birthright to be practical and sensible and wellgrounded. Now and then, however, your earthiness devolves into muddiness. You get too sober and earnest. You’re bogged down in excess pragmatism. I suspect you may be susceptible to such a state these days. What to do? It may help if you add elements of air and fire to your constitution, just to balance things out. Give yourself a secret nickname with a fiery feel, like Blaze, or a crispy briskness, like Breezy. What else could you do to rouse fresh, glowing vigor, Breezy Blaze—even a touch of wildness?

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I love to use metaphors in my writing, but I hate to mix unrelated metaphors. I thrive on referring to poetry, sometimes even surrealistic poetry, but I try to avoid sounding like a lunatic. However, at this juncture in your hero’s journey, Aquarius, I frankly feel that the most effective way to communicate with you is to offer you mixed metaphors and surrealist poetry that border on sounding lunatic. Why? Because you seem primed to wander around on the edges of reality. I’m guessing you’ll respond best to a message that’s aligned with your unruly mood. So here goes: Get ready to surf the spiritual undertow all the way to the teeming wilderness on the other side of the cracked mirror. Ignore the provocative wasteland on your left and the intriguing chaos on your right. Stay focused on the stars in your eyes and devote yourself to wild joy.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “The gift of patience opens when our body, heart, and mind slow enough to move in unison.” So says Piscean poet Mark Nepo. I feel confident you are about to glide into such a grand harmony, dear Pisces. Through a blend of grace and your relaxed efforts to be true to your deepest desires, your body, heart, and mind will synchronize and synergize. Patience will be just one of the gifts you will receive. Others include: a clear vision of your most beautiful future; a lucid understanding of what will be most meaningful to you in the next three years; and a profound sense of feeling at home in the world wherever you go.

Homework: What is the most spiritually nourishing pleasure you should seek out but don’t?

Newsletter.FreeWillAstrology.com

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes and Daily Text Message Horoscopes . The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

© COPYRIGHT 2023 ROB BREZSNY

PSYCHIC/TAROT READINGS & SPIRITUAL COUNSELING

“We saw you around this time last year and you were so accurate. We were hoping to schedule another session” S. W. , Santa Fe. For more information call 505-982-8327 or visit www.alexofavalon.com.

What we feel, know, and see is true. Sometimes we need a spiritual guide to assist in seeing our truth. Osara, an African water deity is your natural mirror, come see yourself/come see Osara. 505-810-3018

I’m a certified herbalist, shamanic healer, psychic medium and ordained minister, offering workshops, herbal classes, spiritual counseling, energy healing and psychic readings. Over 30 years’ experience helping others on their path towards healing and wholeness. Please visit lunahealer.com for more information or to make an appointment.

Service Directory

Chimney Sweeping

CASEY’S TOP HAT CHIMNEY SWEEP

Thank you Santa Fe for voting us BEST of Santa Fe 2022 and trusting us for 44 years and counting. We are like a fire department that puts out fires before they happen! Thank you for trusting us to protect what’s most important to you. Be safe and warm!

Call today: 989-5775

Present this for $20.00 off your fireplace or wood stove cleaning in the month of May.

Legals

STATE OF NEW MEXICO

COUNTY OF SANTA FE FIRST JUDICIAL DISTRICT COURT IN THE MATTER OF THE ESTATE OF NORMA EVANS, DECEASED. Case No. D-101-PB-2023-00088

NOTICE OF HEARING BY PUBLICATION. UNKNOWN HEIRS OF NORMA EVANS DECEASED, AND ALL UNKNOWN PERSONS WHO HAVE OR CLAIM ANY INTEREST IN THE ESTATE OF NORMA EVANS, DECEASED, OR IN THE MATTER BEING LITIGATED IN THE HEREINAFTER MENTIONED HEARING. NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN OF THE FOLLOWING:

1. NORMA EVANS, Deceased, Died on Feb 17, 2023

2. ROBERT E. EVANS filed a Petition for Adjudication of Intestacy, Determination of Heirship, and Formal Appointment of Personal Representative in the above-styled and numbered matter on March 28th, 2023, and a hearing on the above-referenced Petition has been set for Jun 14, 2023 at 9:30 a.m. at the First Judicial Courthouse before the Honorable Kathleen McGarry Ellenwood via Remote Access which are conducted by Google Meets. The Court prefers counsel and parties to participate by video at: https://meet.google.com/wof-cof -tuq. If it is not possible to participate by video, you may call 1 (563) 503-5060 and enter PIN: #818 230 380#

87501, has been appointed as Personal Representative of the Estate of Elke Ottilie Bannwart, also known as Shanti E. Bannwart, and Shanti Elke Bannwart-Roesnner, Deceased. Creditors of the estate must present their claims within four (4) months after the date of the first publication of this notice or within sixty (60) days after mailing or other delivery, whichever is later, or the claims will be forever banned. Claims must be presented to the Personal Representative, Claude R. Phipps, Jr., in care of The Wirth Law Firm, P.C., 708 Paseo de Peralta, Santa Fe, NM 87501, or filed with the First Judicial District Court of Santa Fe County, New Mexico.

Dated May 11, 2023 Respectfully submitted, The Wirth Law Firm, P.C. Attorneys for the Estate of Elke Ottilie Bannwart, also known as Shanti E. Bannwart, and Shanti Elke Bannwart-Roesnner, Deceased.

708 Paseo de Peralta

Santa Fe, New Mexico 87501 (505) 988-1668 ext. 103

By: Peter Wirth

KATHLEEN VIGIL, District Court Clerk

By: Bernadette Hernandez Deputy Court Clerk

STATE OF NEW MEXICO COUNTY OF SANTA FE FIRST JUDICIAL DISTRICT COURT Case No. D-101-DM-2023-00163

Petitioner, Benito Loya Miramontes VS. Respondent, Gloria Olivas Sinaloa.

YOU ARE HEREBY NOTIFIED that Alexis Nieto De Giron, the above-named Petitioner/Plaintiff has filed a civil action against you in the above-entitled Court and cause number, the general object thereof being: To Dissolve the marriage between the Petitioner and yourself. Unless you enter your appearance in this cause within thirty (30) days of the date of the last publication of this Notice, judgment by default may be entered against you.

Alexis Nieto De Giron, Petitioner/Plaintiff.

706 Felipe Place Santa Fe, NM 87505 Witness this Honorable, SHANNON BRODERICK BULMAN, District Court Judge of the First Judicial District Court of the State of New Mexico, and the seal of the District Court of Santa Fe/Rio Arriba/Los Alamos County, this 19th day of May, 2023.

Kathleen Vigil Clerk of the District Court

Bernadette Hernandez Deputy Clerk

FIRST JUDICIAL DISTRICT COURT COUNTY OF SANTA FE STATE OF NEW MEXICO No. D-101-PB-2021-00280

IN THE MATTER OF THE ESTATE OF LUCY DIPONZIO, DECEASED. NOTICE OF HEARING ON PETITION FOR ORDER OF COMPLETE SETTLEMENT OF ESTATE BY

PERSONAL REPRESENTATIVE TO:FRANCINE ANNE LAROSA

NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN of the following:

1.LUCY DIPONZIO, Deceased, died on November 09, 2021;

2.Gregg Gleba filed a Petition for Order of Complete Settlement of Estate by Personal Representative in the above-styled and numbered matter on May 2, 2023; and, 3.A hearing on the above-referenced Petition has been set for July 14, 2023, at 10 a.m. at the Judge Steve Herrera Judicial Complex, 225 Montezuma Avenue, Santa Fe, New Mexico, 87501, before the Honorable Matthew J. Wilson. All parties are to appear remotely for this hearing. Parties may appear either by video at meet.google. com/bbu-aujx-qfx or by calling 1-336-949-8079 and entering pin number 862702640#. Pursuant to Section 45-1-401 (A) (3), N.M.S.A., 1978, notice of the time and place of hearing on the above-referenced Petition is hereby given to you by publication, once each week, for three consecutive weeks.

DATED this 15th day of May, 2023. Gregg Gleba, Petitioner THE CULLEN LAW FIRM, P.C. Attorneys for Petitioner 2006 Botulph Road P.O. Box 1575 Santa Fe, New Mexico 87504 (505) 988-7114 (office) (505) 995-8694 (facsimile) lawfirm@cullen.cc

Clean, Efficient & Knowledgeable Full Service Chimney Sweep/Dryer Vents. Appointments available. We will beat any price!

505.982.9308 Artschimneysweep.com

Community Announcement

TAI CHI Chih & Qigong

Beginners Course starts June

3: (Please note: if you can’t start on the 3rd, you can start the following Saturday 6-10 or the very last start time will be 6-17) This weekly course will be taught outside at the Galisteo Rose Park. Saturday mornings: 9:00 - 10:15am

It takes about 8 - 9 sessions to learn the 20 postures. OK to miss a class. Cost: $10 / session, pay as you go.

Benefits: Stress reduction, Balance and Coordination, Brain gym: Neurogenesis & Resiliency You must register by email: danielbruce1219@ gmail.com, NO pre-payment necessary. For more information: visit the web site: The Santa Fe Center for Conscious Living

STATE OF NEW MEXICO

COUNTY OF SANTA FE

FIRST JUDICIAL DISTRICT COURT CASE NO: D-101-CV-2023-00947

IN THE MATTER OF A PETITION FOR CHANGE OF NAME OF ERIN TERESE MONTOYA.

NOTICE OF CHANGE OF NAME. TAKE NOTICE that in accordance with the Provisions of Sec. 40-8-1 through Sec. 40-8-3 NMSA 1978, et seq. The Petitioner, Erin T. Montoya, will apply to the Honorable Maria Sanchez Gague, District Court Judge of the First Judicial District at the Santa Fe Judicial Complex, 225 Montezuma Ave., in Santa Fe, New Mexico, at 10:55a.m. on the 10th day of July, 2023. For an ORDER FOR CHANGE OF NAME from Erin

Terese Montoya to Erin Terese Sanchez

KATHLEEN VIGIL, District Court Clerk

By: Bernadette Hernandez Deputy Court Clerk

STATE OF NEW MEXICO

COUNTY OF SANTA FE FIRST JUDICIAL DISTRICT COURT CASE NO: D-101-PB-2023-00109

IN THE MATTER OF THE ESTATE OF Elke Ottilie Bannwart, also known as Shanti E. Bannwart, and Shanti Elke Bannwart-Roesnner, Deceased.

NOTICE TO CREDITORS NOTICE

IS HEREBY GIVEN that Claude R. Phipps, Jr., whose address is The Wirth Law Firm, P.C., 708 Paseo de Peralta, Santa Fe, New Mexico

NOTICE OF PENDENCY OF SUIT. STATE OF NEW MEXICO to Gloria Olivas Sinaloa, Respondent(s), GREETINGS: YOU ARE HEREBY NOTIFIED that the above-named Petitioner(s) has (have) filed a civil action against you in the above-entitled Court and cause number, the general object thereof being: Order for Service of Process by Publication in a Newspaper. If you do not file a response or a responsive pleading in said cause within thirty (30) days after the last publication of this Notice, a default judgment against you may be entered.

Benito Loya Miramontes, Petitioner’s name.

3845 Riverside Dr Santa Fe, NM 87507 5053958572

Witness the Honorable, SHANNON BRODERICK BULMAN, District Court Judge of the First Judicial District Court of the State of New Mexico, and the seal of the District Court of Santa Fe County, this 18 day of May, 2023.

Kathleen Vigil Clerk of the District Court

Esmeralda Miramontes Deputy Clerk

FIRST JUDICIAL DISTRICT COURT STATE OF NEW MEXICO COUNTY OF SANTA FE. Case No. D-101-DM-2023-00155 Petitioner, Alexis Nieto De Giron VS. Respondent, Roy Nieto. NOTICE OF PENDENCY OF SUIT. STATE OF NEW MEXICO to Roy Nieto. GREETINGS: