The Brick Magazine - August 2020

BRICK

THE

AUGUST 2020

MAGAZINE

ANN ARBOR

WELCOME BACK SUMMER BEER LOOK YOUNGER LONGER LEADING THRU CRISIS

PLUS! THE DIGNITY OF AGING AT HOME

Secretary

Jocelyn

Benson

HEAR EVERY VOICE

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THE

BRICK MAGAZINE

CONTENTS

AUGUST 2020

Publisher • Sarah Whitsett

Managing Editor • Tanja MacKenzie

Art Director • Jennifer Knutson

Copy Editor • Angelina Bielby

Marketing Director • Steve DeBruler

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Contributors >> Alycia Huston Beth Johnston Sharon Lawlor Marilyn Pellini

Liz Crowe Morella Devost Tiffany Edison

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Lisa Profera Maria Sylvester Marji Wisniewski

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THE BRICK MAGAZINE makes every effort to provide accurate information in advertising, editorial content and placement; however, we cannot make any claims as to the accuracy of information provided by advertisers or editorial contributors and will accept no responsibility or liability for inaccurate information or placement. No content can be duplicated without the permission of The Brick Magazine, LLC

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6

Welcome Back Summer Beer

8

Secretary Jocelyn Benson: Ensuring that Every Voice is Heard

14

Pondering Life In-Between: A Collaboration

18

Leading through Crisis

20

Look Younger Longer

22

For Personal & Planetary Thriving

The Gifts & Messages in Your Emotions

24

The Dignity of Aging at Home

26

Aging in the Time of Coronavirus

28

Slowing Down: A Mindful Practice for Living and Growing

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Welcome to Booze 101 with

Liz

Welcome Back Summer Beer

by Liz Crowe Photo by Selective Focus Photography

B

y now you probably realize (or you already knew) that I write these highly scintillating, oh-so-educational, boozy missives for the folks at Brick Mag a few weeks ahead of time. Under pre-March 2020 circumstances, this wouldn’t be a big deal. However, we are living in, as so many deep-pocketed corporations keep reminding us, “challenging times.”

I mean, really guys? Maybe come up with something new?

Anyways, as we are existing in these Extreme Quarantimes,

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when we don’t know from state to state what we can do with ourselves, much less what day of the week it is, it makes it a bit tough for yours truly to concoct something useful about booze in August without knowing what tomorrow may bring. I thought about pointing you in the direction of supporting breweries that are selling beers to support others — healthcare workers, post office staff, whatever. But by the time you read this, for all I know we’ll be growing all our own food, sending missives by smoke signal, and converting our cars into germ-free zones for brewing our own beer.

Challenging times, indeed.

Instead I’ve decided to take a quick look at some of my personal favorite Michigan beers, both old and new, that might get you through August. Of course, for those of you with small children who’ve been at your feet since March, you might be reaching for something stronger. I will say, by way of general rule-ofthumb for me with beer lately, I’m not as into the super-hopped or even juicy/hazy options. I also am not a fan of overly sweet chocolate or vanilla flavors (unless it’s the Neapolitan Stout from Saugatuck Brewing, which is sheer perfection).

Let’s start with a few summer classics that always bring a smile to my face when I see them on draught on the shelf while I’m trying not to look like I just went the wrong way down the one-way beer aisle at the grocery (and simultaneously attempting not to breathe too heavy into my mask so as to not fog up my glasses).

As of this writing in late May, all the beers listed below are available either in stores or for pickup at the brewery named.

Raspberry Tarty Slip (5% ABV) from Drafting Table Brewing in Wixom is a delightful, unique take on a traditional Berliner Weisse beer, which is a low-alcohol, cloudy, sour beer, low in hops. One of my favorite styles made even better with the addition of raspberries.

Functional White Ale from New Holland Brewing is a low-cal, 3.7% ABV option — something breweries are working hard at concocting in the face of the Dreaded Seltzer Invasion. This one is worth a try as it comes from one of the best breweries in the state, in this drinker’s humble opinion. It’s brewed with coconut water, raw honey, and oranges and offers something new, different, and refreshing on a hot Michigan afternoon.

The Three Lord Kolsch from Witch’s Hat Brewing in South Lyon takes on the challenge of crafting a sneakily difficult style — and knocks it out of the park. This is again one of my favorite styles (yes, there is a trend. Yes, they’re mostly German). At 4.5% ABV, it’s something you can take in (super cool-looking) cans out on the boat while staying six feet apart and enjoy more than one in the sun.

Oh! The Citranity! from Beard’s Brewing in Petoskey is, quite frankly, worth the trip. It comes in at 4.9% ABV with a nearperfect American IPA-style bitterness (a not too much/just right kind of thing) that will match perfectly with your August bbq plans. They’ve just begun distributing out into the state, so it’s a lot easier to find these days.

I think I’ve probably mentioned this one before, and if so, forgive me but it’s that good. Cucumber Lime Gose (4.4%ABV) from Arbor Brewing in Ypsilanti is one of the most delicious products of the gose craze I’ve had. Brewed with a skosh of flaked sea salt and the requisite lime peel and cukes, it’s technically a kettle sour

style, but don’t let that put you off. It’s as refreshing as summer beer gets!

Cherry Bomb from Austin Brothers Brewing in Alpena is one of those “love it or hate it” things (as I find with most drinks that have cherries involved). But the delicious, crisp, pilsner base gives the cherries something to cling to as it were, and the combination is something worth trying. It’s 5.1% ABV in keeping with summer styles, meant to be “session-able,” or as some beer folk say, “crushable.” In English that means you can drink more than a couple at a time, and while I wouldn’t recommend driving home after that, you can definitely kill it at the after-bonfire Euchre tourney.

Summertime always brings out the Mexican lager options. Some are better than others. I found one that I highly recommend from Eastern Market Brewing in Detroit. Appropriately named “Cerveza del Mercado,” this is one easy drinking yet hoppy-ish lager that you will love. The Mexican part is actually the yeast, which gives one of the most crisp, refreshing finishes you’ll find in a lager. Go on, toss in a lime. It’s even better that way!

The Helles Lager (5.5%ABV) from Old Nation should be a part of any Michigan summer beer party. Helles styles are lightly sweet with a dry finish and this brewery, now-famous for the “juicy/hazy” phenomenon in IPAs, nails this more subtle style with perfection.

No Michigan summer beer list is complete without Apricot Dank Juice from Odd Side Ales. It seems odd (no pun intended) to enjoy a drink that’s dank, but this one is a killer combination of sweet and bitter with a creamy mouthfeel (English translation: it’s kind of like drinking a milkshake, only it’s not a milkshake). It’s fun, and available in cans.

Finally, I have to give homage to what I now personally consider the Queen of Michigan summer beers: El Ligero from Griffenclaw.

You might have surmised that it’s a Mexican lager (made with Mexican yeast). The lime is included, and it’s unobtrusive enough that you’ll be all “what IS that I’m tasting?” It’s only 4.5% ABV and available in cans in most Michigan stores. Go find some and get out there and enjoy…whatever is happening when you read this.

Cheers to summer beers, Michigan-style!

Amazon best-selling author, mom of three, brewery founder, craft beer marketing consultant, and avid sports fan, Liz Crowe is a Kentucky native and graduate of the University of Louisville currently living in Ann Arbor.

She has decades of experience in sales, public relations, and fundraising, plus an eight-year stint as a three-continent, ex-pat trailing spouse, all of which provide ongoing idea fodder for novels and other projects. www.facebook.com/lizcroweauthor (fan page) www.twitter.com/ETLizCrowe

August 2020 | 7

Photo provided by Michigan Department of State.

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Secretary Jocelyn Benson: Ensuring that Every Voice is Heard

by Marji Wisniewski

S

ecretary Jocelyn Benson has held an impressive list of titles over the years: lawyer, dean, CEO, military wife, 25-time marathon runner (even completing one while eight months pregnant), mom, activist, author, and most recently, Michigan’s Secretary of State.

After hearing more about her goals for this year, I felt energized and motivated to move forward in these uncertain times that 2020 has brought. I hope you will feel the same after reading her story.

PROMOTING THE RIGHT TO VOTE 2020 has proved to be a year of uncertainty, challenge, and change. For many, it’s hard to know what’s going to happen from day to day. Navigating through this moment in our history is about staying focused and knowing what we’re trying to accomplish. I’m not allowing noise to distract me from the purpose set out ahead of me, which is ensuring voting works for everyone in our state. My focus is on making data-driven decisions, providing solutions, and making forward progress to overcome challenges.

My parents were special education teachers, and at a young age they taught me the importance of hearing every voice and that everyone has an equal opportunity to succeed in our country. These values have been a beacon guiding my goals and decisions as I’ve moved through life.

Seeing how important legislation was in making democracy work, I became a lawyer. I wanted to have a part in enforcing the Voting Rights Act. My career began in Montgomery, Alabama, investigating hate groups and hate crimes around the country. I was particularly inspired in Selma when I was at the foot of the Edmund Pettus Bridge, which was the site of the brutal Bloody Sunday beatings of civil rights marchers in 1965. It was then that I knew I’d continue the work of those who had come before us.

August 2020 | 9

As my career continued as an election lawyer, I noticed that we were often suing Secretaries of State to compel them to do the right thing. This experience led me to write a book in 2010, State Secretaries of State: Guardians of the Democratic Process.

I was struck by the fact that we elect these officers who run our elections, and yet few people pay attention to the candidates’ qualifications that they're voting for to do this important job.

The book highlights the ways Secretaries of State can make a positive impact on promoting democracy, which eventually inspired me to run for office myself in the 2018 election.

I ran for this office as a way of continuing my life's passion of making democracy work for everyone. It's a really unique opportunity to be the Michigan’s State Chief Election Officer right now at this critical moment. We’re not only staring down the barrel of one of the most critical presidential elections of our lifetime, but we’re also charged with implementing two significant changes to our Constitution: the Citizens Redistricting Commission and the various changes to our election laws that were introduced in the Promote the Vote Amendment. With all of that in place, it has been an extraordinary time to have this role. It’s a continuation of the work I've done my whole life to promote access to the vote for everyone.

In working towards that goal, we launched the Voting Matters Initiative. Through this program, our department identifies parts of the state that have the lowest levels of voter turnout.

Many of these communities influence Detroit voting results, but there are also rural communities around the state where we see people not voting in significant numbers. As part of the initiative, we go into these communities and talk to people about what we can do better. We address how democracy seems to be disconnected from them, but stress how important it is that their voices are heard. Through these conversations, I hope to learn how we can do better at the state level to build a democracy that embraces every voice and counts every vote.

Photo provided by Michigan Department of State.

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We quickly learned through conversations that many people want to vote, but they're just not sure how. Voter education is such an important component of making sure that people who want to engage know exactly how to exercise their rights.

With so many rapidly changing laws and even precinct locations evolving from year to year, being an engaged voter means being an educated voter. My job is to educate voters and ensure that they know how to have their voices heard. I’m also working to dispel myths and encourage participation so that all citizens can be informed and engaged.

BE DEMOCRACY'S MVP — SIGN UP TO BE AN ELECTION WORKER TODAY! Election workers are the most valuable players of our democracy; they play a large role in ensuring free and fair elections for all. Our democracy needs election workers NOW more than ever. Serving as an election worker is a paid position, and all election workers are trained on proper protocols.

During the coronavirus crisis, election workers are needed to assist clerks and count ballots. They will serve at polling places and will adhere to strict public health guidelines, including exercising social distancing, using sanitary equipment, and maintaining strong hygiene to protect themselves and others from coronavirus transmission.

Elections are the foundation of our democracy, and the way that all Michiganders can hold their leaders accountable in times of uncertainty. Please visit www. michigan.gov/democracymvp for more information.

ON THAT FAMOUS TWEET EXCHANGE WITH THE PRESIDENT

At the end of the day, I was grateful for the recognition this tweet exchange provided, because it alerted people that their applications were coming. We need our citizens to know what to do with these applications and know about their right to vote by mail. In my view, the amplification of our efforts was a great boon for our state and demonstrated to other states the importance of sending these applications.

VOTING DURING A PANDEMIC

The tweet from President Trump reflected the fact that this year, more than ever before, we’re going to see efforts to misinform our voters about their rights and the truth in administering our democracy. When that happens, we must correct it and let the truth lead the way. In this case, I let people know we were sending out applications, not ballots. I have the authority and the ability as the state's Election Officer to send information to our voters. That’s precisely what we did in sending these applications.

This is what other secretaries of state around the country (including some of my GOP colleagues) have also done.

We’ve been working to create a robust vote-by-mail system that empowers citizens with the ability to request and return their ballots by mail, and make certain that they are counted.

Offering voters the option to vote by mail is vital, as right now we’re hearing that people are concerned about risking their health to vote.

Secondly, we’re working to create safe in-person voting options as well. For this fall, we plan to have a solution similar to what we did for our May 5th local elections by enabling precincts to carry out social distancing, providing PPE for election workers, and promoting a strong voter education campaign that informs citizens of their choices and how to safely exercise their voice right now. Even in times of great uncertainty, democracy can continue and it’s essential that it does.

August 2020 | 11

Photo provided by Michigan Department of State.

THE MVPs of the ELECTION Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve launched a statewide recruitment effort to recruit election workers to serve as our guardians of democracy. We call it our Democracy MVP Campaign. It recognizes that in an election, our most valuable players are our election workers on the front lines.

Those interested can sign up to be an election worker and spend the day as a paid employee protecting democracy. Anyone can visit www.michigan.gov/democracymvp to sign up and learn more.

MORE THAN A MOMENT The death of George Floyd was a catalyst for our country to come together and recognize the historic injustices that have been affecting African Americans and other communities of color for generations.

I find this time to be an opportunity for everyone to lead, and particularly for the white community to sit with uncomfortable truths and proactively find ways we can all work together to do better. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an incredible moment in our history and hopefully we will take the tragedy of lost lives and make it something that leads to real change and inspires others to seek justice.

It has been encouraging to see so many young people get engaged and demand better of their government. My message to them is to be involved in the election process. Voting is a key way to send a message that change must happen. Electing people, particularly at the local level, who will enact change and proactively use government in a way that promotes equality

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is one part of this. As an outcome of this movement, I hope we see people get registered, become informed and engaged citizens, and vote. I dearly hope that this moment is one where all of us come together to create a better world.

I have witnessed time and time again in my life and career how sports can define and promote social change. We most recently saw this with NASCAR in June, when it decided to ban the display of Confederate flags at its races.

In 2015, I was one of the founding board members (and CEO) of the Ross Initiative Sports for Equality (RISE) working with Steven Ross, who is well-known in the Ann Arbor community as a philanthropist and has a strong commitment to education and sports. RISE is a national nonprofit that educates and empowers the sports community to eliminate racial discrimination, champion social justice, and improve race relations. Collaborating with the professional sports commissioners, we worked to leverage the platform of sports to do good and promote equality.

RISE has a strong educational program and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m proud of the way it's been encouraging young athletes to use their role as leaders.

It has allowed them to recognize that they can play an important part in advancing social justice in their communities.

Serving on the board at RISE has taught me that people from all backgrounds can come together to create change. It has been a tremendous opportunity to work with some of the biggest names in sports to find ways that the industry can be leveraged

Photo provided by Michigan Department of State.

to do good. However, I was also really impacted by the fact that there are so few women leaders in sports. That discovery was part of what led me to a partnership with one of our board members, former NFL executive Scott Pioli, to create the Task Force of Women in Sports in Michigan. Governor Whitmer formally appointed the task force last June, which I chair. Prior to the coronavirus, the task force completed its research stage, gathering information on the status of women’s sports in Michigan. The findings will influence our next meeting, scheduled for this fall.

PERSEVERANCE IS PURPOSE BEYOND OBSTACLES As an athlete myself, I find running marathons to be a great test of strength and perseverance. Plus, they’re just fun! The running community is a great community of support and collaboration. Not to mention that running a marathon is a great way to see different cities. I like to travel around and race in different locations as a way of seeing who comes out to cheer the runners on, who’s racing, and what the course looks like; it's a great time!

The perseverance I rely on to run a marathon also serves as the backbone of my professional life. The biggest challenge of working in this arena is the numerous times those who oppose you try to do so with arguments that are not based on facts, but on fear.

They attempt to scare people with misinformation as opposed to empowering them with the truth. It’s certainly challenging to be in a field where you know divisiveness, politics, and partisanship often rule the day as opposed to simply good decision-making and cogent fact-based, data-driven decisions. I chose to be on the side of trying to empower people and educate them with the truth and discourage people from acting out of fear.

Certainly, in looking at my life, I’m most proud of having a little boy (he just turned four) who makes life that much more fun. But on a professional level, I’m gratified by the way I've been able to help better other people's lives through my work.

Developing a career and living a life as a public servant means that you have to consistently focus on whether or not you're

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making a marked improvement in the lives of others, which is something I believe we all should strive to do. I make a daily effort to see to it that the people I work with, or I cross paths with, feel better able to achieve their purpose through interacting with me or my office. That is what makes it all worthwhile.

We have two more major elections this year: the Michigan Primary on Tuesday, August 4th and the General Election on Tuesday, November 3rd. Whether you go out to your local polling place or choose the mail-in voting option, don’t forget to vote. Let your voice be heard. To learn more about how you can vote, visit www.michigan.gov/sos.

With a passion for marketing that started as a young girl, Marji Wisniewski created her own marketing and communications organization in 2017. As owner of Blue Zebra Marketing Solutions, she helps local and regional businesses and non-profits tell their story through branding, graphic design, content creation, and PR, focusing on customized solutions for each client that are more unique than a zebra’s stripes.

A Michigan native, Marji received her undergrad from Western Michigan University and master’s from Wayne State University.

When not working you can find her gardening, doing Pilates, listening to podcasts, and spending time with her family and two dogs.

August 2020 | 13

Pondering Life In-Between: A Collaboration

by Beth Johnston & Maria Sylvester

Photo by Christian Bowen

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I,

Beth Johnston, am 61 years old. I thought I had purpose in my life, but the coronavirus quarantine and its effects have left me feeling a bit lost.

Family gatherings are my jam. A family dinner once a week is very important to me, especially since I became a nana. Travel is also a passion of mine. Seeing new places, experiencing new adventures, meeting new people — anticipating the next trip is part of my DNA. Both of these bring me immense joy, but both of these were put on hold during the quarantine, causing a roller coaster of up-anddown emotions. I was feeling everything.

Path to Life in Between My travel entrepreneur journey began in April 2016 after my 2015 retirement from 30+ years in elementary education. I went into education to make a difference in the lives of children. I began with organizing destination weddings and honeymoons, but soon realized that wasn’t my true passion. I was missing something. I read an article about family travel and realized that my quest to make a difference in the lives of children could be attained. I was dedicated to opening children’s (and families’) eyes to the wonders of the world through travel. I wanted to expose children to other cultures, teach them about conserving our planet, and help them become more compassionate, kind, and better global citizens. That vision became my passion in planning transformational trips for families.

In March 2020, as we entered into a worldwide coronavirus pandemic, travel came to a screeching halt and so did my travel business. At the beginning of this year, I made a decision that I would give myself until my birthday in April 2021 to reach the “tipping point” of being a viable, profitable business. I was confident that I was almost there.

I could have pulled up my big girl pants and figured out a way to weather the storm called COVID-19, but after a lot of torturous deliberation, I decided to surrender and let go.

At the end of this year, when my contract with my host agency is up, I will close Orenda Travel and this chapter of my life.

I was scheduled to begin watching my grandson on Monday, March 16th when my husband and I returned from a trip to Florida. That never happened. The pandemic unfolded while we were on vacation, and because we had flown home, we had to quarantine ourselves to make sure we hadn’t picked up anything on our travels. In the meantime, Ali’s work decided all employees would work from home. My son was also laid off, so both of them were now home and my services were no longer needed.

I was crushed. I had been looking forward to this special time with my first grandchild. I would’ve been helping his parents out, but the truth be told, I wonder if I would’ve been helping myself out more.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy that his parents are able to have this extra time with him to bond and watch him grow and change during these critical developmental stages, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that it left a hole in my life, especially after I made the decision to close my travel business.

I have also been the primary caregiver for my mom, who is 82 and has Alzheimer’s. She lives at home, which is about five minutes away from me. I check in on her, manage her medications, take her shopping and to appointments, and help her when she calls. During quarantine I didn’t see her quite as often because I was trying to protect her from unnecessary exposure to COVID-19 due to her age and risk factors. My brothers and I had been in agreement on her care, but things shifted with coronavirus and now I feel less valued and underappreciated.

Now What?

It’s been the perfect storm, the trifecta of disruption. Where do I go from here? I‘m hoping to eventually be able to watch my grandson at least one day a week. I also still need to have some flexibility in my schedule to help out with my mom. I know she’s not going to get better and that her disease will progress, I just don’t know how rapidly.

Other Coronavirus Casualties

People say to find what you are passionate about and figure out a way to turn that passion into a purpose. Ha! We all know that’s easier said than done.

In December 2019, my first grandchild was born. What a gift! There’s something so incredibly special about the bond you feel when your child has a child; it transcends anything I have ever experienced before. I felt an instant love that was almost overwhelming.

So what are my true passions? I would say children, education, and travel are high on the list. I also volunteer at the Humane Society of Huron Valley because I love animals.

Early in 2020, I took a volunteer class there to assist in their education programs for kids. Right now, all of that is on hold.

My daughter-in-love Ali was scheduled to go back to work in March. I had decided to help out my son and daughterin-law with childcare several days a week. I was excited that I could still do my travel business and form a deeper relationship with my grandson. It was a win-win situation.

I’ve also toyed with writing a blog because people have told me I’m a good writer; but what should the blog be about?

Can I make some money doing something I love? I thought that would happen with my travel business, but it never did.

So, how do you reinvent yourself when you’re in your 60s?

August 2020 | 15

Reflections on Beth’s “In-Between:” Life Coach Maria Weighs In Midlife is my jam too. I’m celebrating my spot here in the life cycle, as well as offering Midlife Magnificence programs and coaching for women. Indeed, my heart resonated deeply with Beth’s dilemma. Midlife can be a time of massive upheaval, struggle, and painful transitions, as well as a time of glorious fresh starts and new beginnings. Add a pandemic to the mix and challenges get even more interesting. Yet I’m still convinced that my mantra — “Older. Wiser. Wilder” — can help guide us through.

I’ll explain what I mean using Beth’s story to illustrate. This beautiful woman’s ambition, compassion, intelligence, strength, and passion practically jump off the page. Don’t you agree?! Her determination for living a fully-expressed and meaningful life is fierce. Beth demonstrates some of the sacred motivational juice that comes with living life well. Her challenge now is figuring out how to best harness her multiple superpowers in crafting her next magnificent chapter.

Acknowledge the Loss First, I believe she must grieve. She’s suffered a number of recent unexpected losses — her entrepreneurial dream, her ability to visit her family and new grandson, and her ability to be the primary caregiver for her mother. Our sense of self is greatly influenced and empowered by how we can offer our gifts to the world. Several of Beth’s key ways of doing so were momentarily thwarted. No wonder she’s “feeling everything.”

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It’s best if she can let those feelings be, and let those feelings out! A vessel must be emptied before it can be filled. If Beth can continue acknowledging and grieving the losses in her life, she’ll then open up more easily to fully embracing what’s ahead.

If, however, a person resists loss and pain — by bracing against it, ignoring the sadness, or trying to distract oneself from these challenging feelings — the capacity for future joy and vitality become limited. When your mind tries to push down sadness, happiness gets walled off as well. Beth seems determined to mine the gold of her passions and potential. This will happen with greater ease after she grieves what has been lost.

Connecting the Dots Once one has faced the emotional upheaval that unwanted changes bring head-on, it’s more possible to register new possibilities. Beth’s question of how she can reinvent herself in her 60s could take her in multiple directions. At junctures like this, I often remind coaching clients that we do anything in our lives in order to feel something. So, in contemplating next steps, it’s essential to first reflect on how one wants to feel, before choosing what one might do.

For instance, if Beth notes what rich, meaningful feelings occur for her when living out her four passions — children, education, animals, and travel — she’ll have key information to guide her next decisions. When we set an intention for how we want to feel, we empower ourselves. Honoring our feelings allows us to live in our truth.

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07-1011 © 2020 Northwestern Mutual is the marketing name for The Northwestern Mutual Life Insurance Company (NM), (life and disability insurance, annuities, and life insurance with long-term care benefits) and its subsidiaries in Milwaukee, WI. Jessica Ping Hausman provides investment brokerage services as a Registered Representative of Northwestern Mutual Investment Services, LLC (NMIS), a subsidiary of NM, broker-dealer, registered investment adviser and member FINRA and SIPC. Jessica Ping Hausman is an Insurance Agent(s) of NM. Jessica Ping Hausman provides investment advisory services as an Advisor of Northwestern Mutual Wealth Management Company®, (NMWMC) Milwaukee, WI, a subsidiary of NM and a federal savings bank. There may be instances when this agent represents companies in addition to NM or its subsidiaries.

Living from what feels most important automatically puts us on the right paths. This is where the “older and wiser” part comes in. Beth is on a pilgrimage of sorts, intent on gathering up all the parts of herself that she knows make up her best self so as to live out her purpose. These parts — who she really is, as well as who she’s becoming — manifest in the strong positive feelings she gets when using her unique skills and abilities. The delicious feelings she embodies when she’s in her flow and happy are actually her roadmap for what she chooses next.

Manifesting that Wilder Self Midlife typically brings the gentle falling away of old routines, along with new vistas of time and possibilities. Midlife graces us with the opportunity to take our finely-tuned innate abilities and talents and ease them into new adventures or career paths. On the other side of the painful changes Beth has experienced lies a brilliant opportunity for her to have significant impact in the lives of her loved ones and the world.

Older. Wiser. Wilder. If Beth can take the essence of what makes her heart sing, and focus her imagination there, I’m betting she’ll discover a deeply satisfying, fun new direction for herself. This is where the “wilder” part comes in. We typically feel expansive, confident, and free when we’re in our element, offering the world skills and abilities that flow from our authentic, best self. True empowerment happens when we’re able to weave something fresh and unique out of the old meaningful threads of our life.

So, Beth — it’s time to spin yours into gold!

Beth was born and raised in Ann Arbor, MI and currently resides in Pinckney, MI with her husband Dan. She is a retired elementary educator from Ann Arbor Public Schools (13 years) and Pinckney Community Schools 17 years). She has three sons from her first marriage (ages 30, 28, & 25), a daughter-inlaw, a new grandson, and three step-children.

Using her luxury travel specialist expertise, Beth founded Orenda Travel. Our custom-crafted itineraries speak exclusively to families’ unique needs, passions, and sense of adventure. We believe that travel has the ability to change lives forever. www.orenda.travel www.facebook.com/OrendaLuxTravel/ www.instagram.com/orenda.travel/ Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC is a certified Life Coach in Ann Arbor, MI who loves empowering adolescents, adults, and couples to live from the HEART of what really matters to them so that they can bring their fully expressed, vibrant selves into the world. She has a special gift for helping women reclaim their feminine power, and embrace their radiant, sensual, sexy spirits. Their lives transform. They soar into their mid-life magnificence! www.lifeempowermentcoaching.com Instagram: @life_coach_maria Facebook: www.facebook.com/LifeEmpowermentCoaching

August 2020 | 17

Leading through Crisis

by Alycia Huston

E

ach and every one of us has found ourselves navigating through a sea of emotions during these past couple of months — anger, fear, gratitude, anxiety, depression, joy. It can literally change from one moment to the next.

I believe our emotions are energy in motion. We have seen through numerous brain and body scans that human beings emit energy, it’s a fact. That’s exactly why you may find yourself crying one moment and laughing the next. Simply said, when you feel a particular emotion and begin to move through it, you’re in a state of energy transference. Energy equals power, and you must be deliberate and acutely aware of its application in your life.

Photo by Kevin Bulluck

serve you well. If you’re a creative leader or entrepreneur or business-builder who desires insights, methodologies, and tactics to leverage all this messiness so you actually grow in your productivity, performance, and service to the world, then you’re stuck in the right place.

This is why I’m on a mission to help you understand how you are beautifully and wonderfully made. I want to equip you to hold yourself accountable in truth and kindness. It’s my desire to be your silent guide into an even higher realm of leadership.

At this time, we all must be good stewards over our mental wellbeing and what we allow ourselves to participate in. I implore you to use the news as a tool instead of a drug. Find out the latest facts on this very fluid situation, and pivot as necessary.

As a leader, the last thing your people should experience is chaotic, tumultuous, or disjointed leadership. This is why it’s imperative that you operate from a high level of emotional intelligence and understanding. You can’t control what’s happening in the world currently, but you can control what’s happening inside yourself.

If you’ve been thinking about how you can make the most of the current state of the world and reframe this crisis as an opportunity for personal and professional growth, this will

I’m sharing with you the top three things that leaders in crisis do exceptionally well. These actions are significantly amplified during a time of uncertainty.

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A crisis will always change you — none of us will be the same after this. Will your growth and movement create a positive or negative impression on the planet?

“We did not come here to fear the future, we came here to shape it.”

—Barack Obama That’s exactly what leaders do — shape the narrative for their people. So let’s have a chat about how that is done.

1. Leaders must embrace high values.

What I know for sure is that during this time, you must possess and exhibit an increased level of empathy and compassion. This is not the time to adopt a command-and-control style.

Unfortunately, in today’s world politics, we have lost so many of our high values — integrity, respect, honor, to name just a few. One of the biggest degradations in our world today, in my opinion, is the valuing — or rather, devaluing — of people.

Empathy must be engaged at the forefront. This looks like checking in with your people, listening to them completely, and meeting them where they are. Even if this requires you to do something you’ve never done before, or operate in a manner different from what you’re used to.

When you truly hear and listen to what people are saying and operate from that stance, you provide a feeling of safety. They’re able to see your leadership demonstrated.

2. Leaders adopt creativity in their thinking The road you took to get here will not be the same road that takes you to your next destination. You will be called to take your creativity to the next level.

What we must always be clear about is that an answer exists!

Every opportunity comes wrapped in a challenge. Now is the time to understand the creation power of your right brain — this is literally the creativity center. This is the part of the brain that was most dominant in our childhoods, but many of us have turned this off so we can be “adults.”

The truth is, when we operate with our right brain, we increase our insights and our ability to problem-solve. This is where our capability to be open to new thoughts and ideas are met with anticipation. This is why individuals and organizations who have the capacity to remain agile and flexible thrive.

The roads you once took are now laden with roadblocks and detours; there is no clear picture of what’s before us. As a result, we must possess the intelligence to allow it to form and subsequently respond with the right prescription — albeit unorthodox at times.

3. Leaders communicate effectively Clear communication at all times is crucial, even more so during a crisis. Only 7% of communication is the words we use, and yet words are so powerful — if we can learn to use them effectively.

In times of challenge, you are required to possess a heightened sensitivity to the needs of your people — dare I say, a sixth sense. In order for your organization to keep moving forward through adversity, there are five things you must communicate: • TRANSPARENCY

You must be real with your people; there is a conversation of reality that must transpire. This is not to invite more fear — it’s actually quite the opposite. When individuals experience an environment of openness and honesty, it eliminates an undercurrent of “us vs. them.” You must be intimate with your people; allow them in.

• CONSISTENCY

Things are always changing while maneuvering through crisis. You must be speaking to your people often. This will remove the desire to create a narrative in their own heads.

• FLEXIBILITY

You cannot be married to the idea that there’s only one way. You must be of the mindset that it doesn’t have to look the way you thought it would. Rigidity in this space will be the death of your organization. Be willing to pivot and create a new result.

• INCLUSIVITY

This creates the “We” factor. This demonstrates that you are indeed part of a community and allows your people to be included in the discovery of solutions. This is where some of the best ideas are born.

• HOPE

Although self-explanatory, many people discount this tactic.

The greatest leaders instill optimism in their people, directly in the face of adversity. This is quite literally their call to action, and creates a north star to strive toward.

The reality is that fear exists for all of us — no one likes the unknown. But there’s a difference between good fear, which leads to preparation, and bad fear, which leads to avoidance. The choice is always up to you.

Alycia Huston is a consultant for high-powered and accomplished entrepreneurs and corporate executives. She can help you build a business, make key decisions for your company, lead from “within and of ” your people, and helping you to take pride in your accomplishments.

LeaDHERship Adventures, LLC. Alycia@alyciahuston.com

August 2020 | 19

Look Younger Longer

by Lisa Profera MD

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ne year ago, I wrote an article for BRICK entitled “Feel Younger Longer” (August 2019). Feeling older than your stated age is a choice. In this article, I outlined various aspects of healthy living that can help you feel younger. Many of you who’ve been reading my articles over the past two-plus years know that I’m passionate about looking and feeling young.

Fighting and defying the aging process starts on a cellular level, and it leads to more resilient tissues, organs, and organ systems.

We can’t stop time, but perhaps we can mitigate and manage the effects of aging.

The skin (integument) is the largest organ/system in our body.

It’s also our outer shell, visible to everyone. When you look in the mirror, how old is the person you see in it? Do you feel younger than you look? In my February 2018 article “Botox and Beyond,” I discussed the changes in the underlying skin matrix that lead to thinning, sagging, fine lines, and wrinkles.

As we age, we lose collagen and elastin as well fat and the hyaluronic acid matrix than contributes to plumpness and hydration. Repetitive facial motions and habits of gesturing also contribute to the formation and deepening of wrinkles.

Ligaments loosen and structures sag. It’s not only the soft tissues that fail us; we also lose bone structure.

Fortunately, there are many things we can do about minimizing the impact of aging, from the simple application of sunscreen to non-surgical facial rejuvenation. Most people don’t want plastic surgery, i.e. facelifts and the like. The majority of procedures we can do now are highly effective, minimally invasive, and have very little downtime.

Many of us don’t know how our skin and its underlying structures are going to be affected by time until it actually happens. One morning you may wake up and look in the mirror and say to yourself, “What happened?” The exciting thing is that we have so many options — neurotoxins, fillers, lasers, skin exfoliation/infusion, microneedling, platelet-rich plasma (PRP) treatment, stem cell exosomes, PDO threads, and professionalgrade skincare products (such as the ZO Skin Health line formulated by Dr. Obagi).

Structural loss happens in all areas of the face — upper, midface, and lower face — at different rates. Sometimes it helps to look at photos of your grandmothers to help predict what might happen to you. For example, I notice a tendency towards a hollowing in

my temple area just like my paternal grandmother. In my article called “Turn Back Time” (April 2019), I wrote: “[The] judicious use of fillers can restore a more youthful appearance in many areas of the face. Adding volume and support with a high-quality filler can help correct flattened cheeks, sinking tear troughs, jowling and sagging of the lower face, thinning of the lips, wrinkling above the lips, and hollowing in the temples and preauricular area (below the cheekbone in front of the ear). Artful placement of fillers can rejuvenate contour and illumination of the face and flip the triangle of youth.”

Finding a skilled and experienced practitioner is very important.

This is your face we’re talking about, after all. You need to trust the person who is treating you. A facial rejuvenation practitioner such as Shari Martuscelli, RN at Facial Innovations Spa in Ann Arbor (https://facialinnovations.com/) focuses on health, wellness, and beauty to provide a personalized, comprehensive plan for each client. Her motto is, “When you look good, you feel good.” Your path to a more youthful look begins as soon as you walk through the door of this lovely medi-spa.

Optimizing a healthy lifestyle is also key. Eat right, exercise, get enough sleep, manage stress, don’t smoke cigarettes, and maintain hormone balance. Too much cortisol from stress can contribute to premature aging. So can low testosterone levels, which cause symptoms such as hair thinning and crepey skin.

Everyone ages differently. How we age depends on genetics, skin tone, environmental factors, and lifestyle choices. There are many ways to combat the effects of aging, inside and out. I’m happy to consult with you to figure out what would work best for you.

Owner and Founder of PROJUVU MD; Aesthetics and Lifestyle Medicine in Ann Arbor, MI; Expert Injector, Medical Director; Facial Innovations Medi-spa, Ann Arbor; Medical Director, Northville Beauty Spa; Certified Medical Marijuana Doctor; Certified doTERRA Essential Oils Expert; BEMER Independent Distributor; CrossFit® Level 1 Trainer www.projuvu.com • 1-844-PROJUVU • drprofera@gmail.com www.facebook.com/projuvu/ Request to join my closed FaceBook group, www.instagram.com/youressentialoilsdoctor/

Disclaimer: Please note that the information in this article has been designed to help educate the reader regarding the subject matter covered. This information is provided with the understanding that the author and any other entity referenced here are not liable for the misconception or misuse of the information provided. It is not provided to diagnose, prescribe, or treat any disease, illness, or injured condition of the body. The provider of this information shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or entity concerning any loss, damage, or injury caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by this information. The information presented is in no way intended as a substitute for medical counseling or care. Anyone suffering from any disease, illness, or injury should consult a qualified healthcare professional. These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA.

August 2020 | 21

for personal

& planetary thriving

The Gifts & Messages in Your Emotions

by Morella Devost, EdM, MA

Photo by Geert Pieters

I

magine yourself as a musical instrument. Pretend for a moment that you’re a piano, or a guitar, or a drum.

Imagine the edges of your body being the walls of the instrument, and imagine feeling the hollowness inside — your body is the resonance chamber for the sound your particular instrument will emit.

Now imagine the music being played — the waves of sound moving through the piano, the guitar, or the drum. You know that these vibrations, though invisible, are absolutely real. You can hear them. The walls of the instrument are moving to the rhythm and frequency of the waves of sound being produced by each piano key, each guitar string, or each wrap or beat of the drum-hide.

That’s exactly what happens with your emotions and your body.

In fact, sound is the perfect metaphor for emotions. They are

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both very real vibrations that we can’t normally see, but we do perceive them with other sensory organs — our ears, in the case of sound, and our kinesthetic and chemical receptors in our bodies in the case of emotions.

Each emotion carries a specific frequency that is measurable in Hertz (just like sound); the highest-frequency emotions being peace, joy, and love, and the lowest frequency emotions being shame, guilt, and apathy.

Just as you hear the waves of sound moving through space, the vibrations of your emotions are not only clearly felt within your body, but they too are projected into the space around you.

That’s why if someone is in a really bad mood or “vibe” when they walk into a room, you can often notice the change in the room. The person doesn’t need to say anything in order for you to know that they’re not feeling joyful or at peace. Same thing

with a really upbeat, happy person; they lift the energy of a room as soon as they walk in.

So what’s the point of knowing this? The point is that your emotions are not only real, they are powerful.

They are powerful because they touch every single cell in your body and the world around you. And just as the person with the bad vibes and the happy person both affect the energy in the room, your emotions will have an effect on the “atmosphere” both within your body (inside each cell) and in the outer world you engage with.

This can be a really good thing when you’re feeling joyful, peaceful, or any emotion in the broad range of positive feelings. Those good vibes are well known to have a positive effect on your health. They will also predispose people to respond positively to you, and generally put you in the way towards having “good luck.” But of course, the opposite is also true: when you’re not feeling so cheery — perhaps you’re feeling angry, depressed, or downtrodden — those not-sopleasant emotions will have not-so-great effects on your health, and are more likely to elicit not-so-lovely responses from the world around you.

One of the most extraordinary stories of the impact of emotions on health and life is the one famously told by Anita Moorjani in her book, Dying To Be Me. Anita shares the story of having a near-death experience (NDE) as her body went into full organ failure while dying from stage IV cancer. In her NDE, she became acutely aware that it was deep fear that had fueled her cancer all along. But even more powerfully, she also realized that there is nothing in life she needed to fear. She woke up from her NDE completely free of fear and overcome with a deep peace and love for all of life. Her doctors expected she’d soon take a turn for the worse and warned her family to be prepared, but to their astonishment, her tumors began to disappear and never came back. When the fear was gone, the cancer disappeared.

We don’t need to wait for an NDE to explore the emotional “background music” we’re playing. We can start paying attention now. When we pay attention and listen to the sounds of our emotions, we discover the gifts that they come bearing.

The first gift is that your emotions are constantly communicating with you. Therefore, by becoming aware of your emotions, you become aware of the “vibe” you are emitting.

The second gift is that you can learn to discover the deep insights underneath your emotions. Let’s go back to the musical instrument analogy. The sound of a musical instrument is the vibrational output of a certain note being played — a piano key, or a guitar string. So, if emotions are also a vibrational output, what might be the equivalent of the “note” that generates the “sound” of emotion? What are the keys or strings that make the “sound?”

In the case of a human instrument, the equivalent of the guitar

string and piano key are your thoughts and beliefs. When you set a specific thought in motion (whether it’s a conscious or a subconscious one), an emotional vibration is created. Just like when you set the string of a guitar in motion, sound emerges.

We don’t always know the exact content of our thoughts, especially not the subconscious ones, but we can always feel our emotional state. Just like we may not see the piano in the neighbor’s house, but we can hear the music she’s playing.

When you tune in to listen to the background music of your emotions, you become aware of what type of vibrations you’re emitting from moment to moment, for the benefit or harm to your cells and the world around you.

That’s the first gift: the opportunity to become aware of where you are vibrationally. The second gift is the opportunity to learn what the “music” of emotion is telling you, so you can do something about it.

Only when you begin to become aware of the emotional music that constitutes the soundtrack of your life can you truly begin to change it to the tune you want to live by. And in that way, you too can become the master of your health and your happiness, just like Anita Moorjani did.

And, when you pay attention to the music of your emotions, you realize that all emotions are perfectly valid. Just like the deep tones you hear when the notes to the left of a piano keyboard are played, and the high tones you hear when you play the keys on the right, every emotion has its place. Every emotion is a messenger letting you know where your mind has been going, what keys you’re playing. The more you pay attention, the more masterful you become at hearing the music and gradually changing it for a happier tune.

Of course, just like playing the piano, you don’t become a virtuoso overnight, but you can master it by showing up to play every day.

Morella Devost is a counselor helping her clients turn their deepest challenges into their greatest source of strength. After receiving two masters degrees in counseling from Columbia University, she became a Clinical Hypnotherapist, NLP facilitator, and Reiki Master. Morella is a VenezuelanVermonter working with people all over the world from her RVoffice as she travels the US with her family. She is the host of the Thrive With Morella TV-radio-podcast show. www.youtube.com/morelladevost thrivewithmorella.com www.facebook.com/ThriveWithMorella Instagram: @Morellad Facebook personal: @Morellad1 Twitter: @More_Joy

August 2020 | 23

The Dignity of Aging at Home

by Tiffany Edison

Photo by Cristian Newman

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obody likes to think about aging, myself included.

Yet, there’s a trend here in the United States known as “aging in place.” As defined by the CDC, aging in place is “the ability to live in one’s own home and community safely, independently, and comfortably, regardless of age, income, or ability level.” It should come as no surprise that the world of

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interior design has started to ramp up efforts to assist aging adults. As the latest U.S. census results confirm, senior citizens comprise the country’s fastest growing population.

Our homes hold our memories and represent our independence.

Surprisingly, making just a few different residential design

choices can potentially offer life-changing results, and offer a better quality of life for those entering their golden years. It’s time for all to maintain their independence and preserve their dignity as long as safely possible, and this should not be reserved for those of significant means. Below are helpful suggestions for extending independence in your current home.

LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST

Flooring It’s wise to stick with surfaces that are smooth, such as traditional hardwood floors, cork, or linoleum when considering flooring. Softer surfaces like these minimize the wear and tear on joints and are less of a tripping hazard than options such as tile or high-pile carpeting. If level changes are unavoidable, draw attention to these transitions through material changes or choose contrasting colors. Remember that falls are often the riskiest part of seniors aging at home.

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Lighting LED light fixtures are a good option for seniors, as they require minimal changing throughout their lifecycle and are often a great source for indirect lighting. Indirect lighting in itself can reduce glare and therefore minimize additional tripping hazards throughout the home. Two-way switches are also recommended; they allow one to turn the light on upon entering the room and turn it off from the bedside table if installed in bedrooms.

Bathroom Existing showerheads can be retrofitted to offer adjustable capability and can help extend ones’ ability to bathe independently, and thus preserve dignity. A hand-held shower wand is also an excellent option to this same end. Perhaps the most important consideration, however, is choosing a nothreshold or walk-in shower to minimize tripping hazards. I get many requests for shower seats; I’d only add that perhaps a contrasting material or tile color should be selected to assist in distinguishing between the wall and floor more readily. Finally, sink levers are much easier to adjust versus faucet fixtures for those who struggle with dexterity issues.

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home, including the hardware in kitchens and bathrooms) and opting for rocker light switches over the traditional toggle switch.

When considering issues impacting seniors staying in their homes, it would be remiss to ignore the topic of social isolation.

When space planning, a good design should always consider having a place to gather, offering enough seating for guests, and encourage television viewing in a common space.

If you are considering a renovation of your existing home or transitioning into a condominium, you may find value in hiring an interior designer or architect certified in aging-in-place design.

For more information, NYC DFTA’s “Aging in Place Guide for Building Owners” is an excellent resource.

Throughout the Home

Tiffany Edison has been an interior designer since 2002, and specializes in both residential and commercial projects.

She holds a Master of Social Work degree (ACSW) and utilizes interpersonal relationship skills on a daily basis with her client base, largely comprised of Ann Arbor and Metro Detroit residents. She enjoys residing in the city and the comforts of home. When she’s not fully immersed in client projects, you can find her on the golf course, a favorite pastime.

Simply put, choose mechanisms that operate with minimal effort.

This can mean levers instead of doorknobs (throughout your

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Laundry Ideally, aging adults should have a first-floor laundry option. Be creative! This may mean that an existing closet or unused bedroom may be better utilized as a laundry facility. The key is minimizing stairs, especially when carrying things such as laundry baskets.

August 2020 | 25

Aging in the Time of Coronavirus

by Marilyn A. Pellini

A

ging is never a pleasant prospect, but aging in the time of this horrible pandemic is a great trial both physically and mentally.

I go to my timeshare in Florida every winter. It was especially great fun when my husband was alive. We rented a spacious cabana with two comfy lounge chairs, complete with an umbrella for perfect shading. We’d be happy as clams for the whole day.

You’d find us on the beach every sunny day. There are literally miles of crunchy sand to walk on, explore, gather shells, and watch boats coming and going. And that’s not even to mention

26 | The Brick Magazine

swimming in that beautiful blue-green water found where the Gulf Stream flows. We both loved to play cards — Gin Rummy, Cribbage, even Crazy Eights and King’s Corners (which we had played with our kids) would amuse us for hours. Each day we would have a game of Scrabble on our little portable board. For years we kept score, and we were very close in total games won, although I’d sometimes let him win if three days had gone by with me in the lead and him beginning to pout a bit.

Then the unthinkable happened. My husband died in a bizarre fishing accident. He was only 71 — really not that old for this day

and age. Al did a very dangerous kind of fishing in many states along the East Coast. He would don a wetsuit, put his rod in one hand and plug bag across his chest, and swim to rocks a football field’s length out in the ocean so he could cast directly into the passing schools of striped bass. In fact, in 1984 he caught the second largest bass recorded in the world. As you can imagine, this was something I hated to know he was doing, but there’s no dissuading a man when his mind is made up. This particular time he went to a small, serene island off the coast of Massachusetts, and he went alone. Fishermen do not want anyone to know what rod, reel, or test line they were using when they catch “the big one.” No one knows exactly how the accident occurred and probably never will. It was just such a tragedy.

So here I am, approaching the time considered to be old age and totally alone. I still do enjoy getting away from the ice and snow up north in the winter, but it’s very difficult and sad in a place where everyone is still a couple. I have a few friends at the timeshare where I stay, and also some in the area who are kind enough to invite me to go to dinner with them, but I seem to cling to the few widows I know who still come each winter too.

For the last few winters, something has always come up just before I’m to leave on my trip south. One year it was water in my basement from a broken pipe; another year, it was a stringy tendon in my ankle that made walking difficult, as it was always so swollen and achy. This year I was experiencing dizzy spells and had a toe that needed three operations. I couldn’t lift my head off my pillow or turn it in any direction without feeling that both the room and I were spinning. I went to my ENT doc and she was quite certain she could cure this by resetting the crystals in my ears, but it didn’t work. I had asked my daughter to cancel the first two weeks of my trip in hopes of getting this straightened out before leaving home, but then I reconsidered. I like my internist in Florida so very much that I felt perhaps he could help me. So, off I went, not knowing how I would make out on the plane, juggling my luggage, going to the car rental place, and then driving to my accommodations. That part went just went fine, and I arrived here on a Friday.

First thing Monday morning, I called the internist’s office and was able to get an appointment for the very next day. He, too, tried to reset the crystals in my ears, but again it was unsuccessful.

He then ordered a CAT scan of my head and neck since this had been going on for many weeks now. Both came back just fine and I was a bit relieved, but I was still dizzy. Next I was sent to a neurologist, and although he didn’t think there was a problem with the crystals, he too tried to reset them. Again it didn’t work, so I was sent for vestibular rehabilitation. That’s a type of physical therapy for balance and dizziness, and it did help quite a bit. Next I asked my primary care doctor if we could change my diabetes medication before we went on with more extensive testing. That did seem to help also, as my stiff neck went away and I was somewhat less dizzy.

But then in March, the coronavirus took hold everywhere in the United States as it had in foreign countries just previous to this. Everyone kept leaving this resort in droves, but my children felt that I would be safer here then going back up north with

my medical problems. So, I extended my stay. Yes, I was here in paradise with lots of warm sunshine and fresh air and even a view of the ocean, but it was both eerie and scary. Suddenly, drastic measures were being taken. The beaches were all closed.

The resort closed its food service facilities and also the pool.

They did allow us to go and sit by the edge of the pool, but had placed the chairs well over 6 feet apart to adhere to the regulations. Each of the four buildings had only about 20 people remaining in them. What a time in life to be alone and old.

I wasn’t driving much then since I was still somewhat dizzy, so that made it hard for me to even get to the grocery store.

There was such a demand for food and most especially paper products that the shelves were just about empty when I got there. Older people were asked to come to do their shopping first thing in the morning. I somehow got ahold of one mask and a pair of rubber gloves and did actually go to the grocery store by myself and stocked up as much as I could. Conditions were getting worse by the minute, and I wasn’t eager to go back to the market. My kids said that they’d make arrangements for groceries to be brought to me, so that solved one major problem.

Fortunately my hair is mostly gray, so I’m one of the few women in my age category that wasn’t miserable with her dye job growing out. But after two months here, boy do I need a haircut. I had brought a pair of sharp scissors with me and I’ve learned to trim my own tresses a little bit. I won’t be sending out any pictures of me at that time though!

I certainly know what they mean about necessity being the mother of invention. There are many things we’ve had to learn to do on our own. After my husband‘s passing I never did very much cooking, but with restaurants closed I was making every meal. The hardest part of this new existence, however, was not being able to see a doctor when you needed one.

I was sitting at the lonely pool at the timeshare one day when a couple came up to me and begin to chat. They were so surprised I was there at the resort alone. They seem to take me under their wing, which I so appreciated. It turned out that she had been a physical therapist and he a podiatrist. She gave me some advice on my ankle that was swollen and in such pain, and he looked at my toe from afar that had been bothersome since before Christmas and assured me that it was at least not infected. I wonder what the chances are of meeting the two exact people that I needed help and information from in such a dire time. The world and the heavens consort in mysterious and wondrous ways in our time of need!

Marilyn Pellini has recently published a grief book titled Dear Al, A Widow’s Struggles and Remembrances. Her other credits as a writer include recent articles in Brick Magazine titled “Memories in My Button Jar” and “Restructuring My World,” pieces in Westchester Parent Magazine, Bay State Parent Magazine, On The Water, Balanced Rock, and others.

In May 2018, she took the first place prize in the NY State Federation of Women’s Clubs writing contest.

August 2020 | 27

Slowing Down: A Mindful Practice for Living and Growing

by Sharon Marie Lawlor

Photo by Laura Chouette

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A

Co-Chairs

ging. We all do it every single day of our lives. Each precious moment turns a hand on the clock of time.

Those early days feel like eternity, but the older we become, the more the days seem to warp. We start to jumble time.

When we are first born, being alive a second day is literally twice as many days we’ve been alive. We’re constantly filled with new stimuli. We explore our surroundings and capabilities as we grow. It’s a whole new world to discover.

Most kids are in the flow, feeling so connected to themselves and their outer world. Every day and every year is filled with firsts for them. All those different and new experiences help slow down time; the young are able to savor every delicious, momentous occasion.

Ever take a road trip to a new place and notice that the time it takes to get there feels enormous compared to the time its takes for you to return home? That’s because we’re absorbing our new surroundings. All this new stimuli is really good for our brain health and actually stretches our experience of time when we engage this way.

Think of it as a mindfulness meditation. We’re consciously choosing to be mindful of what’s going on and being present with it all. Perhaps you’ve heard the saying “Be here now,” and perhaps you use that as a mantra for yourself already.

When we’re absorbing perpetual amounts of information, our brain has more to process, helping the perceived time feel longer.

The Inc. magazine article “Science Says Time Really Does Seem to Fly as We Get Older” by Jeff Haden explains there’s recent biochemical research “that shows the release of dopamine when we perceive novel stimuli to drop past the age of 20, which makes time appear to go by more quickly” during our adult lives.

Time moves more quickly when we see less new stuff within the same amount of time as before. It’s this lower density of stimuli that gives the illusion that time is passing faster. As we age chronologically, each year is a smaller percent of our life. For instance, a year for a two-year-old is 50% of their life, whereas a year for a 50-year-old is only 2%. See how time as we age can feel much faster?

What I’ve read about this is actually quite disturbing. It brought me to tears just thinking about what this really means.

Do we really want a life that passes us by, leaving us wondering where it went? We’re in danger of being left with empty dreams and unfilled desires because we were in a rut (or perhaps our “comfort zone”) of daily routines that leave us dulled, bored, or even uninspired.

I’m not saying routines aren’t useful. They are. But don’t map out your entire day, week, month, or year and leave no room for creative juice and inspiration to transpire. That brings

Bill Holmes Vice President of Chelsea Milling Company (Jiffy Mixes), and American Airlines Pilot (Retired)

Join the 2020 Men’s Campaign Please join Bill Holmes and Ira Weintraub, in supporting survivors. Become an ally and speak out about domestic violence and sexual assault. Hold our leaders, institutions, and systems accountable. Let your voice be heard by survivors so they know that you take these issues seriously.

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www.safehousecenter.org/2020menscampaign about the new challenges, experiences, and perceptual stimuli that our brains need to live — which all help to reduce the aging process.

I think of it this way: those routines are the structures we set in place for the play to be able to happen. It’s a yin/ yang. A balance. The yin/yang is actually a 3-D sphere and moves three-dimensionally. It’s a conjoined dance where the more structural, masculine yang provides the container or the boundaries in which the more flowing, feminine yin can dance and move. Both need each other in order to not get stuck.

Our body, mind, and spirit needs movement. This is the propellant we need to have an inspired life. An increase in dopamine is critical to the central nervous system functions affecting attention, focus, memory, movement, motivation, mood, and pleasure. It releases one of the feel-good chemicals in our brains and plays a vital role in how happy we feel.

An antonym of stimuli is blockage, which is an obstacle, obstruction, or hindrance. When we don’t have movement, this creates stagnation or stuckness — the rut I mentioned above. We don’t want to intentionally block our own lives, do we?

How do we consciously create and live a life that brings us joy?

One that is fulfilled with meaningful connections, relationships, and maybe even leaving a part of ourselves behind when we’re gone, like a legacy? This is about learning, growth, and expansion.

Our time here on Earth in this life is brief. What will be the best

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Photo by Aron Visuals

use of our time while we’re here? Only we individually know the answer to that.

Where can we have new experiences, learning something new or going somewhere new, instead of letting life pass us by? The passage of time slows when we allow for these new and different experiences. Connections are made in both our inner world within our brain and in our outer world with each new experience.

Where are you drawn to? What are you drawn to? How can you invite new adventure, play, exploration, creativity, and wonder into your life?

When we’re able to slow down, our world can slow down too.

These moments of pause are the times when we can hear our own thoughts and listen for guidance from God or the Universe.

Aren’t these pauses refreshing and rejuvenating?

I know for me the feeling of rushing brings about more stress, and then I’m not able to practice mindfulness as easily. That fast pace is not what I want to create more of at all.

When you eat a well-prepared meal, you want to enjoy each bite. Well, let each moment of your life be another bite

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to savor, filling your time with only the most meaningful moments you intentionally choose. Time is too valuable to waste a moment of it.

Let’s not divert our attention to people, circumstances, jobs, beliefs, emotions, foods, or spaces we surround ourselves with that we don’t care to endure more of. Pause, breathe, and linger on a small second on the clock of time.

Sharon Marie Lawlor is an intuitive and transformational healing artist. She is driven by the beauty of nature, which inspired her desire to create a better world. She has been a part of this shift from the young age of seven.

Sharon is a spiritual truth seeker constantly expanding her own personal growth. She has made it her personal mission to reclaim her inner light by intentionally living a life that fills her soul.

Visit https://linktr.ee/sharonmarie to find out more. website: www.tranquilbeing.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/tranquil.being Facebook: www.facebook.com/tranquilbeing

S P IN N ING T H READS I NTO

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Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re being called upon to weave a new normal out of our old threads.

Enjoy a Complimentary Coaching Session as a gift to yourself!

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