The Brick Magazine - August 2019

BRICK

THE

AUGUST 2019

MAGAZINE

ANN ARBOR

FEEL YOUNGER LONGER INTO THE GREAT WILD OPEN RIDING THE WAVES

PLUS! NEW RECORDING STUDIO IN YPSI’S PARKRIDGE COMMUNITY

Monica

Brancheau

JOURNEY TO JOY

R E F L E C T YO U R L I F E ST Y L E .

Birch Design Associates specializes in residential and commercial interiors. www.birchdesignassociates.com

Specializing in Brick Restoration and Design

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THE

BRICK MAGAZINE

CONTENTS

AUGUST 2019

Publisher • Sarah Whitsett

Assistant to the Publisher • Tanja MacKenzie

Art Director • Jennifer Knutson

Copy Editor • Angelina Bielby

Marketing Director • Steve DeBruler

Online Creative • Bridget Baker

Cover Photographer • Mary Kerkes

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Contributors >>

Bridget Baker Gail Barker, B.A., C.P.C.C. Liz Crowe Morella Devost

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Kristen Domingue Tiffany Edison Madeleine Forbes Angela Harrison Kellie Mox

Lisa Profera Sarah Rigg Stephanie Saline Maria Sylvester

Contact Us >>

The Brick Magazine, LLC 734.221.5767 Email: office@thebrickmagazine.com Visit us on the web at thebrickmagazine.com

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Advertising Inquires >> email office@thebrickmagazine.com or call 734.221.5767

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Find Us ... >>

Visit us on the web at thebrickmagazine.com to view our online digital edition, locations on where to find us, or subscribe to have THE BRICK MAGAZINE delivered directly to your home.

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The Brick Magazine >>

THE BRICK MAGAZINE makes every effort to provide accurate information in advertising, editorial content and placement; however, we cannot make any claims as to the accuracy of information provided by advertisers or editorial contributors and will accept no responsibility or liability for inaccurate information or placement. No content can be duplicated without the permission of The Brick Magazine, LLC 6 | The Brick Magazine

8

Feel Younger Longer

10

Journey to Joy with Monica Brancheau

16

Decorate with Wild Abandon

20

Summer Swimwear: Fashion, Function, Fabulous

24

For Personal & Planetary Thriving: The Miracle Worker Inside Every Human

28

Booze 101 with Liz: A Little Dutch Courage

32

Riding the Waves

34

New Recording Studio at Ypsi’s Parkridge Community Aims to Promote Youth as Cultural Leaders

36

Into the Great Wild Open

38

Woman on the Street: The Soft Ones

40

Come Dance on the Wild Side

44

Spells for Running Wild

48

From Bubble Baths to Bliss

Feel Younger Longer

by Lisa Profera, MD Photo by Behzad Ghaffarian

G

etting older is inevitable, but feeling older is a choice. Do you want to be old and limited, or do you want to live your life to its fullest? Just because your chronological age advances, you don’t necessarily need to feel as old as you are. I choose to fight the aging process as much as possible and I am always looking for new “weapons.”

as much as possible. Be adaptive to change, and ”roll with the punches.” #5 is minimizing toxic load, internally and externally. Last but not least is what I call “body health” through proactive self-care and medical care as needed (#6). For some excellent self-care tips, read “A Quick Guide to Improving Your Self-Care” by guest blogger Brad Krause on my website: www.projuvu.com/blog.

Weapon #1 for me is proper nutrition. Smart food choices, lots of water, and adequate supplementation is the cornerstone of health. Exercise is a close #2. Staying fit and active is key. Exercising your brain is also crucial. #3 would be sleep. If you read my article in last month’s issue of BRICK, you will understand the importance of sleep for cellular health and regeneration. The quality and quantity of sleep we get supports our systems and their longevity.

Next on this list (#4 if you are keeping track) is emotional health and stress management. Maintain a positive attitude

It’s hard to assign a rigid numerical order of priorities for each of the aforementioned aspects of optimal health, since they are so intertwined and interdependent. What does a healthy life look like to you? To me, it’s all about the concept of the compression of morbidity. I want to live a long life, but more importantly, I want my lifespan to be of the highest quality possible for the longest percentage of the time allotted to me. To put it bluntly, the “death and dying” part should be weeks or months rather than years or decades. As for the “suffering” part, I’d like

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to skip that altogether. By taking active measures now (lifestyle optimization), we can compress the timeframe where our bodies experience dysfunction and enjoy many years of great function.

thyself”. As a traditionally-trained physician, I knew the fate of those diagnosed with my condition and I chose to say no, this is NOT happening to me. I am going to figure this out. And so, my quest toward better health began.

When I was growing up and even in my early medical school years, chronic diseases mostly affected older people.

As a former pediatrician, I am appalled at the emergence of “adult” diseases that are afflicting the young in their teens or twenties: high blood pressure, high cholesterol, type II diabetes (formerly known as adult-onset diabetes), arthritis and other obesity-related illnesses. There has been a surge of autoimmune diseases (formerly regarded as rare). According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), the life expectancy of Americans has declined over the past three years rather than increased as it had been for decades.

“Life expectancy gives us a snapshot of the nation’s overall health, and these sobering statistics are a wake-up call that we are losing too many Americans, too early and too often, to conditions that are preventable,” the CDC director said in a recent statement on American life expectancy. Not only do we have people developing chronic illnesses at a younger age, but we also have the opioid crisis which may be contributing to a large number of accidental and nonaccidental deaths in young people. Why are so many people taking opioids? This is a huge topic for a future article.

Granted, I thought I was pretty healthy. I thought I was in good shape. But what I’ve learned over the last decade or so is that you have to FIGHT for your health. It’s not easy and it’s not inexpensive. The investment involves time and money. How you manage that is up to you. Some people can invest more of their time and less of their money, and vice versa. You do need a bit of both.

Consider this excerpt from the American Academy of Family Practice News: “Americans have enjoyed an unprecedented run at living longer, healthier lives for much of the 20th century. Clean air and water, improved sanitation and refrigeration systems, public education, vaccines and life-saving drugs, and management of chronic diseases all have added years to the average American’s lifespan and virtually guaranteed that a child born in the United States would be expected to live longer than his or her parents. Now, slowly, those gains are being eaten away.” (December 2018).

What can we do to stay on track or get back on track? If you are off-track and heading down the road to chronic disease, you can re-route your path. This happened to me.

When I was diagnosed with a progressively destructive and potentially debilitating auto-immune disease about 14 years ago, my first thought was “Oh, that sucks, but it’s better than cancer.” Then I allowed myself to feel sad for a hot second. After that, the fighter in me said “Oh hell, no—I’m going to figure out how to fight this thing.” The well-known proverb entered my mind: “Physician, heal

What happens to our bodies as we age? What makes us feel old? It really boils down to our biochemistry and our cellular health. Trillions of biochemical reactions occur in our bodies throughout the day. Free radicals are formed in the process and something called “oxidative stress” can drive a destructive process (aging) that ultimately leads to death. What does aging feel like to you? Is it more musculoskeletal discomfort, decreased energy and sexdrive, mood swings and irritability, decreased cognitive ability (brain fog, impaired memory), poor quality of skin, hair, and nails, or all of the above?

What happens next is up to you. You can wallow in selfpity, blaming your genes, your ancestors or both. Or, you can choose to deal with the hand that you have been dealt and play it to your best advantage. How do you do that?

The answer is “arm yourself” for battle. Fight for optimal health and slow down the aging process as best you can.

As always, I am happy to help guide you toward a path to better health. Here in Ann Arbor, we have many talented practitioners that we can consult with for all aspects of lifestyle optimization. Let me help point you in the right direction.

Do you want to feel younger longer? We can’t slow time, but perhaps we can slow down and manage the effects of aging.

Mention this article for a complimentary consult with Dr. Profera.. Contact Dr. Profera for educational events in the Ann Arbor area.

Owner and Founder of PROJUVU MD Aesthetics and Lifestyle Medicine in Ann Arbor, MI BEMER Independent Distributor www.projuvu.com / 1.844.PROJUVU / drprofera@gmail.com FaceBook business page: www.facebook.com/projuvu/

August 2019 | 9

Photo by Mary Kerkes

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Journey to Joy with Monica Brancheau

by Kristen Domingue

I

n our conversation with Monica Brancheau about Ele’s Place Ann Arbor, we found a woman whose own triumph over cancer led her toward a deeper calling. As the Director of Ele’s Place, she has the opportunity to give families the chance to find their journey to joy after a devastating loss.

The Turning Point “What would happen if I die? What would happen to my kids?”

These were the questions that played over and over in my head like a broken record in the six-week waiting period after hearing the words “You have cancer.”

Much had changed in the twelve years I taught in Detroit public schools. By the time I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2012, I was already considering a career change and exploring my next step. When you get a cancer diagnosis, you re-evaluate your life; I knew by the time I received the diagnosis that a fork in the road was in front of me.

there was a place they could go to brought me comfort during a time of fear. During my treatments, I had decided not to go back to teaching and that it was time for a change.

So the question became: “What’s next?”

How I Got Started at Ele’s Place To make such a significant career shift from teaching to non-profit fundraising can be daunting. Surrounding myself with encouraging women made the difference for me. When I look back, this has been true every time I’ve made a significant shift; it was other women who saw something in me that I didn’t see in myself.

The day after my diagnosis, I sat my kids down on my bed and did the best I could to explain to a fifth grader and a third grader that I had breast cancer. The very next thing they asked me with tears in their eyes was, “Are you going to die?” To which the honest answer was, “I don’t know. I don’t think so,” but I couldn’t be sure.

It’s no surprise then that when the director role opened up at Ele’s Place and people suggested I do it, I said “No” many times, just as I had to other similar opportunities before. I didn’t see myself as the director of a non-profit.

While going through cancer treatments, I prayed, did a lot of soul-searching, and went back and forth on taking the position.

At the time, I knew Ele’s Place existed and I had thought ahead enough in those six weeks to plan that if I did die, I wanted my kids to go to Ele’s Place. Just knowing that

I took the leap and I’ve loved it. I now try to be that person for other women as well, to give them the confidence to do things they don’t see themselves doing.

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It’s an honor to lead this amazing team.

The growth, the accomplishments, and the quality at Ele’s Place isn’t just me. It’s a team of amazing women who work very hard, don’t get paid a lot, and believe in the mission so much that they give everything they can. To be a part of that is an honor.

About Ele’s Place Ele’s Place started in 1991 and was founded

by Betsy and Woody Stover. They had three kids and a daughter who died at eleven months named Ele. They noticed their kids were grieving differently than they were and had different needs. They tried to find support for them, but what they were looking for didn’t exist in Michigan yet. Betsy and a group of women went on a nationwide search for a children’s grief center, and found one in Portland called The Dougy Center.

The Dougy Center helped Ele’s Place start in Lansing. It was very grassroots—in the basement of a church, with a handful of families and volunteers—and it’s now 27,000 individuals and includes an Ann Arbor location as of twelve years ago. We also have locations in Grand Rapids and Flint.

For eleven years in Ann Arbor, we rented both an office and a church for programming. We have programming Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday nights, but it’s not enough time to meet the needs of our community. This is one of the reasons we began the Home for Healing Hearts campaign for our own building. We also wanted a customized grief center where every room is designed to meet the needs of the kids.

Photo by Mary Kerkes

The new building will allow us to have a fourth night of programming, and this summer we’ll be able to have family nights.

Each week, we end up getting about 100 families who come in for support.

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them a safe place with other kids their age to to grieve.

Unfortunately, we hear all the time that after a short period, even with kids who have the most well-intentioned friends, the people in their lives have moved on and forget or don’t understand why the teen or young person is still struggling.

Ele’s Place is a place where a child can come and say, “I’m still feeling angry, sad, etc” with others who truly understand.

The Need We know that in the state of Michigan, one in twelve kids will experience the death of a parent or child before the age of eighteen. Michigan is the fifteenth highest rate for children’s grief within the US—thus the need is large.

We serve all of southeast Michigan and don’t have any geographical limitations. So if families are able to drive to us, we serve them. We’ve served families from Ohio and St. Clair Shores because they make this a priority for their family and come every week.

At Ele’s Place, we recognize that the need will never go away. Death is part of life, and sometimes it happens sooner than anyone would ever want it to happen. This means that our new building will always be needed. What makes the work we do so unique as a non-profit is that there’s no cost to families to receive our services. Not only that, but they can come for as long as they need; on average, families come for eleven months.

Our Philosophy on Grief Our vision is that no child should ever grieve alone. We know children grieve differently than adults, more in pieces and chunks. We also know that if a child or teen is grieving alongside a parent who is also grieving, they often don’t want to express themselves because they already see the parent is struggling. So Ele’s Place gives

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Much of our programming is activity-based. This way, no one feels put on the spot, and children and teens can participate as much or as little as they like without feeling pressured. We also make it a point for the activities to be age-appropriate.

For school-aged children, we have activities that focus on identifying and naming the many feelings they may have, while simultaneously normalizing how those feelings may present themselves. This is the opposite of how they’re socialized, which is to “act normal” by ignoring the feelings that might drive certain behaviors that otherwise look like “acting out.” This way, the children learn how to name the feelings, how to accept that the feelings are normal, and that the way they want to express them is also normal.

By removing the added burden of inauthentic participation in life, they finally have a place where they can be themselves and it allows them to actually heal.

With tweens, we focus on showing them healthy ways to manage the emotions as they come up. We give them healthy and concrete ways to release the sadness, pain, loss, and anger. We also help them discern when they need support so they can ask for it, and what coping strategies look like so that they have skills to use outside of Ele’s Place.

For teenagers, we give them the tools to have constructive conversations about the way they feel and learn how to reconcile the way they feel with the pace and norms of teenage life. This way they have the chance to see that

they, too, are normal in their grieving; that they are not alone. The biggest turning point for them is the chance to let the façade of being a “normal teenager” go so they can really be themselves.

Through our activity-based approach, we give kids a structured and constructive way to grieve that doesn’t force them to have conversations they don’t want to have. Instead, they experience the chance to express what they’re feeling alongside others who understand. We strongly believe that everyone’s grief journey is unique and should be honored and respected.

Don’t Grieve Alone, Don’t Build Alone The truth is, we couldn’t do what we do without our phenomenal, amazing, dedicated volunteers and board members. We have close to 100 volunteers who show up and work with our families one night every week. They commit to a year of service and go through a stellar training put on by our program team. Many have served beyond the one-year commitment and have been around for years.

Our board members commit to a three-year term and are ambassadors for our mission. Our volunteers are incredible!

Our new building is an amazing asset to our community.

I am thrilled to share that we have raised $7 million of our $7.6 million goal! Our incredible co-chairs of our Home for Healing Hearts campaign, Howdy Holmes and

Sue Snyder, are fantastic advocates and ambassadors for children’s grief. I’m proud of the team. This has taken staff, volunteers, board members, and a cabinet focused on this incredible goal of a customized grief center for our community. There is still opportunity for many to make an impact on the life of a grieving child by getting involved in our Home for Healing Hearts Campaign. Ele’s Place is an insurance policy for all of us, today and tomorrow. It ensures that every family can have that journey to joy.

What we loved most about our conversation about Ele’s Place is the way it’s changing the narrative on grief for children and families. We love that there is a place that recognizes that children grieve differently than adults and need different tools and ways to talk about the grief so they can get back to what matters most—being a kid. If your family or a family you know could use the support Ele’s Place provides, please check out elesplace.org to learn more. If you would like to learn how you can be involved with the Home for Healing Hearts campaign visit elesplaceannarbor.org Kristen M. Domingue is a copywriter and content marketing consultant in the New York City area. When she’s not delivering on client projects, you can find her cooking up something gluten-free or in an internet rabbit hole on entrepreneurship or astrology.

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W

hat is your take on following trends? Do you love having the latest and greatest, or would you rather make a trend than follow one? I have done both over the years, but I seemed to have landed on adhering to my own set of rules and bucking trends. Whether it be my own personal style or when assisting clients in their home environments, I approach both with the way I feel more than the way things â&#x20AC;&#x153;shouldâ&#x20AC;? look. The key to good overall

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design is establishing balance. I am here to tell you that there is a way to incorporate trends without abandoning your sense of self or breaking the bank.

My personal approach in working with clients is following their drumbeat. Some clients approach a first consultation meeting armed with binders, swatches, sketches, and their own ideas. Others say that they

Decorate with Wild Abandon

by Tiffany Edison

Wallpaper

Photo by Jeff Garland

don’t know what they really like and are seeking a lot of guidance. I love the challenge both offer. In my experience, it is fair to say that the world of interior design loves trends! The design field is also a business unique in its skill-set of capitalizing on creativity and emotion, at times forcing homeowners to choose between using logic or decorating with wild abandon!

So what’s hot now, you ask?

That’s right, you heard me. The world of interior design is wild about wallpaper! Whether you prefer a bold geometric pattern or a classic chinoiserie motif, there is a paper out there that is ready and waiting for you.

Personally, I get offended when I hear that wallpaper is “back,” as I have been a fan from day one. That being said, to utilize wallpaper effectively, I find it best to consider a few things prior to installation. The first thing to consider is where you feel wallpaper would look best in your home. This decision should be made in tandem with the purpose of why you think wallpaper as opposed to paint is the correct choice. If you can answer these questions without hesitation, and have a decent understanding of how patterns play together, then by all means follow your instincts and order whichever pattern your heart desires!

But if you are finding yourself in a quandary about which pattern or type of wallcovering is best, then it would be wise to contact a professional. Adding wallcovering to your home is probably the easiest embellishment you can make to a room outside of a good paint job, and can be surprisingly affordable. I am personally wild about wallpaper in foyers, powder rooms, the dining room, and master bedrooms. Sometimes it’s the “wow” factor and other times it’s adding texture with an understated grass cloth. To me, nothing quite finishes a space or offers a defining statement in a room quite like wallcovering.

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Mid-Century Modern Design

Photo by Jeff Garland

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To call this iconic style a “trend” just might be the understatement of the year.

This style is in fact so popular now that it could be considered as mainstream as purchasing a sofa from Pottery Barn. At its most elementary level, this look is known for juxtaposing sleek lines with organic shapes, often resulting in looks that were futuristic yet rooted in the past. The Mid-Century Modern movement, though ever-evolving, did not really take hold in America until the late 1940s, and lasted into the 1960s. This was the era of Sputnik, The Twilight Zone and the Jetsons. During this time, a set of brilliant design icons largely comprised of architects and sculptors began crafting furnishings that set the style bar for brands such as Herman Miller and Knoll.

Some would argue that MidCentury Modern has become synonymous with “modern design” in general, but that would be a mistake in my eyes.

There were definitely two groups that evolved out of this time period: the Americanbased modernists who favored sleek mass-produced industrial pieces, and the Scandinavian set, inherently dedicated to crafting furnishings from natural materials such as wood and leather, therefore favoring handmade goods. We can credit the award-winning show Mad Men for shining a light on a look that is timeless in its design style and appeal. I am

personally wild about these furnishings, though try to use these gorgeous pieces sparingly. I find that nothing quite rounds out a traditional interior like a Hans Wegner Papa Bear Chair.

Animal Prints What can I say? I am wild about animal prints! I am unsure if my love of this iconic pattern stems from my mother’s obsession, or if I have curated this passion over time. Either way, if a client is game, I am all about using a dash to make a style statement. Tastemakers such as Billy Baldwin and Elsie de Wolfe have historically been known to utilize this print to transform the glamorous interiors they are so notorious for creating. But again, it is safe to say that this trend is quite polarizing…you either love it or you don’t.

Though rare is the person sitting on the fence in this trend, I might offer the following advice: the cautious type may want to be judicious in their application, possibly choosing a leopard throw pillow just to dip one chic toe into this style trend. But those with a zest for living should feel free to embrace this look full-on with an antelope or tiger rug to set the foundation for a decidedly gutsy space. Personally, I see a cheetah or tiger print as a neutral, and have no qualms about mixing it into both the traditional or contemporary projects I have designed over the years. Just as in all things in life, restraint must be used to keep things in check, and remember to always err on the side of classy.

I recommend that when considering jumping on the bandwagon of whichever trend strikes your fancy, you don’t overinvest hard-earned money on something that you are not entirely committed to having in your home for a period of years. I encourage clients to do a little bit of research online via Pinterest, or through my favorite old-school method of leafing through design magazines for inspiration. Keep a collection of these images for moving forward once you decide it’s time to spruce up your home or invest in new furnishings.

There is nothing wrong with following a trend here or there. Trying new things makes life worth living. Just remember to exercise balance, and never forget who you are at your core.

Tiffany Edison has been an interior designer since 2002, and specializes in both residential and commercial projects.

She holds a Master of Social Work degree (ACSW) and utilizes interpersonal relationship skills on a daily basis with her client base, largely comprised of Ann Arbor and Metro Detroit residents. She has a wonderfully large blended family residing in the city and enjoys the comforts of home. When she’s not fully immersed in client projects, you can find her active on the golf course, a favorite pastime. www.birchdesignassociates.com Instagram: @birchdesignassociates

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Summer Swimwear: Fashion, Function, Fabulous

by Angela Harrison Photo by Ayeisa Vargas

S

wimwear and summer go hand-in-hand. Whether you’re living by the lake this summer, traveling to a coast, or simply poolside, a swimsuit is definitely close by. And while we may like wearing our swimsuits some days more than others, there are so many styles and combinations that it’s hard to not feel fab in some of this season’s styles. The swimwear industry has really tweaked what these options look like and how they work for women’s bodies. The spectrum of coverage, support, and style spans wide and really aims for inclusivity for all.

All sizes, ages, preferences, and personal styles—there’s something for everyone.

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Two-Piece Two-piece styles are a classic chooseyour-own-adventure when it comes to coverage. The classic bikini now comes in several versatile styles and cuts; there are so many coverage options in this category alone. Triangle top, bandeau, halter, wrap top, one shoulder, high neck, long-line tank, brief bottoms, tie bottoms, shirred bottom, Brazilian cut, French cut—I mean, the list just goes on. Gone are the days of a bikini that constantly needs adjusting; you can actually swim in these styles without feeling like a wardrobe malfunction is on the horizon. The neon trend is still going strong into Spring/Summer ’19; throw on a pair of breezy, wide-leg pants and you’ve got an instant beachside lunch look.

The mid-coverage trend has been so flawlessly embraced by all ages and bodytypes, and is quickly becoming an absolute summer-favorite. Taking from swimwear silhouettes of the 1950s, medium coverage bikinis feature a high-waisted brief bottom and a bikini top of your choice. It’s a great solution for anyone wanting more coverage through the hips/torso and not compromising your bust or natural waistline. Underwire tops pair beautifully with high-waisted briefs, giving you full support as a bra would. Many high-waisted bottoms feature cutouts on the sides, mesh designs, and lace to add strategic peek-a-boo moments. There’s no need to compromise style for coverage that makes you feel comfortable.

Tanks and tankinis are the answer to beach-day bathroom breaks. With so much function and versatility, tank style swimsuits offer the convenience of separates while still feeling supported and comfortable in your look. Tankini styles also offer multiple ways to mix and match and interchange your looks. They’re great to have while traveling, swapping tops and bottoms for a completely different suit.

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One-Piece Talk about chic! This is the rebirth of the one-piece bathing suit. With so many styles ranging from barelythere to full coverage, one-piece suits have completely made a comeback. Full coverage doesn’t have to mean matronly; you can still get coverage along with fabulous style. The one-piece suit styles shown this season are so gorgeous and fashion-forward, you can throw on wide-leg pants or a skirt and have an immediate outfit styled. Head to town for lunch straight from the water and feel confident in your

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look. Plunging necklines, high necklines, open back, full coverage—there’s really no wrong way to go. A onepiece is the perfect fit for anyone; there are so many style options to suit any and all preferences.

One-piece suits with cutouts also offer medium coverage with fabulous style. There’s so much glamour and simplicity with a one-shoulder swimsuit or plunging v-neckline. Tie waists make the suits playful and elegant; you could throw a maxi skirt on and go to a wedding in these things!

Cover-Ups There really is nothing more glamorous than a flowing, breezy swimsuit cover-up. From caftans to pompom-trimmed rompers, there’s a coverup for every occasion, personality, and function.

If you’re in and out of the water all day, opt for wide-leg pants to pair with your suit. You can still feel clothed while catching some end-of-summer rays. When beachside or wanting to feel your inner Elizabeth Taylor, try a colorful maxi caftan; something that makes you feel comfortable and effortlessly elegant. For days when you’re headed from lakeside to town, a bandeau jumpsuit is an easy and complete look to slip on. Again, there’s no wrong way to do a cover-up, but if you always

grab your same go-to, maybe try to mix in a little something different for your look.

Swimwear isn’t everyone’s fave when it comes to shopping and packing, but with all of the suits and coverups out there, it’s so easy to hate it a little less. Try a style you’ve never worn before; make sure it checks off all of the things you need to feel comfortable in it—why bother if you don’t feel good? When we look good, we feel good (I say this all the time, but it’s true). Wear your confidence to the beach this season and enjoy the important stuff in life, like cocktails and quiet time. The rest is covered. **All photos belong to Nordstrom.com

Angie Harrison received her BS degree in fashion merchandising from Western Michigan University. After merchandising for a large retailer, she went on to start Angela Harrison Style: a personal, print, and film wardrobe styling service. Her experience has led her to styling wardrobe on local and national TV commercials, as well as freelance in visual merchandising for luxury retailers. www.AngelaHarrisonStyle.com | Instagram: @_ahstyle | www.facebook.com/AngelaHarrisonStyle August 2019 | 23

for personal

& planetary thriving

The Miracle Worker Inside Every Human

by Morella Devost, EdM, MA

Photo by Morella DeVost

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T

he first Wednesday in March this year, I treated myself to lunch at Stone Soup, one of my favorite places in Burlington. As I sat at the communal table, I ran a private little social experiment: I left my phone in my bag and waited to see who might join me for lunch. I left the chair directly in front of me available and eagerly waited to find out who would be my new lunchtime friend.

A gentleman in a gray pinstriped suit joined me shortly afterwards. I was curious. Who might he be? What did he do for work that requires a suit in Burlington? What stories might he have about his day? Alas, I didn’t get to ask any of these questions. No sooner had his derriere hit the seat, the cell phone came out. And for the next twenty

minutes, I ate in silence, looking at a man flip through Facebook on his phone. No exchange. No stories; only a new insight on the human connections we miss when our faces are glued to our phones.

A few weeks later I traveled to Ireland for twelve days by myself. The purpose of the trip was to have a mini writer’s retreat, and enjoy living like a local. I brought with me the same openness to connecting with the random human souls I’d have the opportunity to meet there.

What unfolded over those twelve days was the stuff of magic, of synchronicities, of kindness, and gifts from the universe in countless forms. And they were all delivered

Photo by Morella DeVost

August 2019 | 25

through the human beings with whom I connected throughout my trip. Every single one.

I chose to stay at an actual bed and breakfast rather than an AirBnB apartment, precisely so I’d have the opportunity to talk to people. I’d be more likely to get the insider’s scoop, or a suggestion for an activity that might make my trip extraordinary. Every morning, I got to connect with not only Kathriona and Paddy, the owners of the B&B, but also the various guests who came and went during my week-long stay. I learned of their trips, their loves, their origins. They shared ideas of places I might like. We laughed. We made every morning delightful for each other.

But the most magical experience was what unfolded after my horseback-riding outing got cancelled at the last

minute. It was the one and only thing I had actually planned.

Aside from that, my stay consisted of daily writing sessions at a cafe, walks, and dinner at my favorite pub. I had been looking forward to that beachside ride all week. Needless to say, I was hugely disappointed when it got cancelled.

Kathriona and Paddy both began to offer other alternatives.

They were eager for me to find a plan B because I had shared my excitement with them. But all of the options were a long drive away and I didn’t have a car.

And then I mentioned I’d seen a sign for a small equestrian center not far from town. I wondered out loud if they might offer rides. No sooner had I mentioned it, Kathriona exclaimed, “That’s Róisín, my friend! I will text her.” She ran into the kitchen and came a few minutes

Photo by Vladislav Klapin

26 | The Brick Magazine

later to let me know it was all settled. There was a place for me in the group if I wanted to go, and she would drive me there herself. After the ride, Róisín’s husband would bring me back to town.

I was stunned. Overjoyed. And also in a little bit of disbelief. With zero effort on my part, a whole collective of “strangers” were all coming together to create a delightful experience for me. And I received it graciously.

To tell you that the ride was perfection would be an understatement. The ride, coupled with the whole way in which it came about, was pure magic. I felt as though the universe had provided this extraordinary gift for me and I allowed myself to receive it. I also believe that my immense delight and gratitude, which I expressed to everyone involved, was also uplifting for them.

They gifted me and I gifted them with the kinds of miracles that are possible through human connection. The kinds of miracles that can only take place when we share ourselves, our dreams, and our disappointments: the miracle of allowing people to do kind things for us. And the miracle of deep, heartfelt gratitude.

In Ireland, I learned to connect with strangers like never before. I asked for their names. I told them about my book. I shared my mini-adventures in their town. I chose to eat at the same pub in Clifden five nights in a row.

Rather than seeking a taste of every experience in town, I became a “regular” at the spots I did visit. And the rewards were many.

I once heard Claire Zammit—a coach, teacher and spiritual leader—say, “miracles come through other people.”

Indeed. Miracles do not fall down from the sky or materialize out of thin air in front of us. They will come in the hands of other people. In order for that to happen, we must be open to receive from them. But even before that, we need to share ourselves in a genuine, openhearted connection. Seeking nothing, simply appreciating the person.

To establish the connection that creates the ripe conditions for these human miracles, we need to be the ones showing up in deep appreciation for the human across the table from you. In every exchange. In every passing glance. You never know what you will be able to gift someone, or who will be the one to give to you.

Photo by Tomas Jasovsky

My “miracles” in Ireland were of a delightful kind. But the principles are exactly the same for the miracles that might solve a problem for someone, offer comfort or hope, and even save a life.

At Kripalu Yoga Center, a quote inside a stairwell reads: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

Perhaps by showing up with interest and an open heart, it’ll be you offering a miracle to someone else.

I’m sure you’ll agree: our troubled world is in need of more miracles. So perhaps you’ll consider joining me in putting the phone down from time to time, and getting curious about the people you randomly meet. We can all be miracle workers.

Morella Devost facilitates profound transformation for people who want to thrive in every aspect of life. After receiving two masters degrees in counseling from Columbia University, she also became a Clinical Hypnotherapist, NLP facilitator, and Holistic Health Coach.

Morella is a Venezuelan-Vermonter who works with people all over the world from her beautiful office in Burlington, Vermont. www.thrivewithmorella.com www.facebook.com/ThriveWithMorella

August 2019 | 27

Welcome to Booze 101 with

Liz

A Little Dutch Courage

by Liz Crowe 28 | The Brick Magazine

Photo by Felipe Ponce

W

elcome to summer time in Ann Arbor! The outdoor movies! The concerts! The food trucks! The sidewalk eating! The art! The available parking!

I’ll never forget my first summer here in my first house on Beakes Street with our toddler son (and yeah don’t get me started on how I never should’ve sold that house, we’ll save that one for another column, ok?).

colonies, gin was used to mask the bitter flavor of quinine, which was the only effective anti-malarial compound.

Quinine was dissolved in carbonated water to form tonic water, and the resulting mix became the origin of today’s popular gin and tonic combination. Yes, that Schweppes in your fridge still contains a smidge of quinine. It says so right on the bottle.

Anyway, we’d load him up in the handy wagon with juice boxes, crackers, and cheese sticks and wheel ourselves over to the Top of the Park—the one that was actually on top of a park(ing lot). Both my hubs and I are from Kentucky, and summer nights there are not for hanging outside unless you’re on a lake. It’s too muggy, buggy, and borderline miserably hot. But here? I recall saying that the air felt soft on my skin—warm, yet not humid, with a mild breeze once the sun went down.

In a satirical study by Bernard Mandeville called The Fable of the Bees, or Private Vices, Publick [sic] Benefits, he writes: “Nothing is more destructive, either in regard to the health or the vigilance and industry of the poor, than the infamous liquor, the name of which, derived from Juniper in Dutch…shrunk into a monosyllable, intoxicating Gin…It charms the unactive, the desperate and crazy of either sex, and makes the starving sot behold his rags and nakedness with stupid indolence. It is a fiery lake that sets the brain in flame, burns up the entrails, and scorches every part within; and, at the same time, a Lethe of oblivion, in which the wretch immersed drowns.”

Anyways, we made it through months of near-constant polar vortexes and soggy semi-spring, and now here we are, ready to celebrate the glorious month of August in Michigan.

I figured that it’s time to talk about summer drinks, and in order to do that we must talk gin. First, a bit of history. The name gin is derived from either the French genièvre or the Dutch jenever, which both mean “juniper.” Because in order for any distilled spirit to be considered “gin,” it must be juniper-forward. And remember, a “juniper” is essentially a pine tree—an evergreen. Gin is “piney” smelling and tasting, or it’s not gin.

Well, then. Sign me up, I say!

In my diligence to provide Booze 101 readers with the most reliable information possible about my topics, I spent some quality time with Alyssa Hughes, production manager at Ann Arbor Distilling, a local company that specializes in this infamous monosyllabic intoxicant. We talked about the specifics of distillation, a process that

By the mid 17th century, numerous small Dutch and Flemish distillers had popularized the redistillation of malt spirit or wine with juniper, anise, caraway, coriander, and other spices, which were sold in pharmacies and used to treat medical issues like kidney ailments, lumbago, stomach ailments, gallstones, and gout. It was discovered in Holland

by English troops who were fighting against the Spanish in the Eighty Years’ War, who noticed its calming effects before battle, which is the origin of the term “Dutch courage.”

It was used as a wholly unsuccessful-butperhaps-numbing-you-to-the-reality-of-it remedy for the Black Plague. In tropical British

Photo by Alina Miroshnichenko

August 2019 | 29

takes basic alcohol and transforms it, some might say magically (distillation owes a lot to ancient alchemy), into a higher alcohol by volume (ABV) form via forcing condensation (steam) from the originally fermented liquid, and then pulling that steam back into liquid form. To get high ABV alcohol, you have to physically separate alcohol from water using evaporation and condensation—aka distilling. Because alcohol has a lower boiling point than water (173 F vs. 212 F), distillers can evaporate the alcohol (mostly) by itself, collect the vapors into a tube and use cold temperatures to force the alcohol to condense back into liquid.

There are two methods for doing this. “Pot stills” are what my great-great granddaddy used during Prohibition in the backyard to make his version of liquor. It’s a process that uses a pot and a long tube that pulls the ethanol evaporating off the water up and into another vessel, and viola, booze. And usually a much higher ABV, not to mention with the sort of congeners—that stuff we talked about back when we were talking about hangover remedies—that can make the next morning a little rough around the edges.

Column distilling is a more refined method in which the mash, or wash, is continuously injected into a column, with steam constantly rising up to meet it. The steam is programmed to be at the perfect temperature to strip alcohol from the wash and leave undesired compounds behind as it rises up through the column. Yes, I said the word “column” three times back there. Be calm. It was necessary. There are plates in the column that can be adjusted to refine the final result to much more specific ABVs than pot stills.

The thing that makes a gin a gin, those essential “botanicals,” are sometimes added straight into the fermented mash in the main vessel of the still. Others are added in a “basket,” which is a stainless steel add-on that allows steam to flow through and infuse the mash without breaking the adjuncts down and causing a mess in the final liquid. For gin, those must include juniper, but in these days of the Craft Cocktail (something you and I will explore together very soon, never fear) that is merely the beginning.

Alyssa taught me a lot about distilling gin, including some new words about distilling that I like and am therefore sharing with you: the “head, heart, and tails” of distilling.

Methanol (that stuff you don’t want because it will, you know, kill you if you drink it) is the head. The heart is the key portion of the process; it’s the portion of the distillation you want. The tail is also known as “fusel oils” for their oily texture can come at the end or “tail” of the distillation run, and are often discarded or sent back in for redistilling.

All right, all right, enough of the boring crap. Let’s talk specifics.

At Ann Arbor Distilling they have seasonal versions of gin.

The Winter Gin is my favorite, as it’s closest to the London dry style I prefer—heavily juniper or pine-forward with not a ton of other ingredients, not the least of which is cacao nibs and orange zest to create a holiday

30 | The Brick Magazine

Photo by Micheile Henderson

taste. Mind you, there is an entire Norwegian spruce tree in this one. The Spring Gin is like drinking a flower garden— heavy on the hibiscus (hence the pink hue), along with a distinct punch of honeydew melon. It’s delicious.

After that, things get really crazy. If you were to drink the experience of a farmer’s market, that would be the Summer Gin. It’s chock-full of yummy stuff—tomatoes (on the vine, no lie), watermelon, peaches, raspberries, and strawberries, plus a boat-load of steamed herbs including mint and basil.

But hold your horses. The Fall Gin has even more going on.

You’ll taste cinnamon, oregano, rosemary, and even a touch of—wait for it—moss! The thought was to have a sort of “fall day” experience when drinking it. It works. And they age it in bourbon barrels so it’s a lovely amber color.

You can do some crazy stuff with these multi-ingredient gins. And we will dive deep into that soon. However, it’s hard to argue with the classics. If you’re looking for that quintessential summer gin fun drink, allow me to introduce you to a Tom Collins (gin, sugar water, lemon and club soda); a Vespa—my go-to martini that combines two parts gin to a half part vodka, Lillet blanc (a kind of wine aperitif), and a lemon peel; or one of my absolute favorites,

the French 75. If you haven’t had one of these babies, get yourself to a solid cocktail bar and order one, like, tonight.

It’s essentially a Tom C., but with the addition of sparkling wine. It’s super delicious, bubbly, and fun. More on the whole “solid cocktail bar” thing very soon!

Also, for the Official Record, a real martini is made with gin.

If you want yours made with vodka, you have to order it that way.

Now, get out there, move beyond the G&T, and enjoy either one of the classics, or something new and wacky, with the pine-tree-forward, ancient-plague-remedyturned-malaria-preventative—gin.

Amazon best-selling author, mom of three, brewery founder, craft beer marketing consultant, and avid sports fan, Liz Crowe is a Kentucky native and graduate of the University of Louisville currently living in Ann Arbor.

She has decades of experience in sales, public relations, and fundraising, plus an eight-year stint as a three-continent, ex-pat trailing spouse, all of which provide ongoing idea fodder for novels and other projects. www.facebook.com/lizcroweauthor (fan page) www.twitter.com/ETLizCrowe

August 2019 | 31

Riding the Waves

by Kellie Mox “Have a day.”

These were the wise words of my therapist many years ago. She would offer them up like a gift as I left her office each week. Decades later, her words still speak to me—and now to others, too, as I pass along this gift.

Without an adjective, this sentiment feels incomplete, I know. But I believe the words send a more powerful message this way, one we need to hear—that it’s okay to have a day that’s not great or even good, and that it’s okay not to label it. It’s an affirmation of sorts, a recognition that we can have an experience or feeling today, and then another day will come, bringing with it new experiences and new feelings.

By nature, humans are constantly shifting. Neither our smallest cells nor our biggest feelings are static. Yet our culture perpetuates the notion that women should not outwardly age, that we ought not create waves by expressing anger or sadness, that we must have it together all the time, and that we ought not need help in the process. In other words, it’s not okay for us to “have a day”—to fluctuate and flow with the ups and downs of our lives.

As a result, many women feel pressure to be positive all the time. Or they feel stuck in a state of high stress or in an emotionally or physiologically shut-down state, perpetually numbed out. In addition, many feel isolated and

32 | The Brick Magazine

alone in this. If left unchecked, these static states of being can lead to insomnia, anxiety, weight gain or loss, muscle tension, chronic pain, frequent colds, and even chronic illness as the mind, body, and spirit attempt to get our attention and return from a static state to a more naturally harmonious, flowing place.

The truth is that we can learn to ride the waves of our stress, our emotions, and our lives in a way that restores our natural rhythms. When we flow up and down, in and out within a healthy range, rather than being shut down or stuck on high, we begin to sleep better, and our appetite and satiety regulates. Our immune systems come online, our tension and pain recede, and we’re more at home with our feelings. It’s a process that takes time and effort, as well as a willingness to jump in wholeheartedly. It can be uncomfortable to defy our cultural programming and do the work of creating new patterns in our lives. I know, because I’m learning how to ride the waves in a new way, too—and it can be a wild ride.

So, how do we do this? How do we “have a day” and ride the waves as they come? It’s an enormous topic, but I’ll offer up some thoughts here as they relate to the body, our feelings, and social connection.

The Body Our autonomic nervous system (ANS) is perhaps the most important place to start when creating more flow in our

lives. The ANS, which comprises the sympathetic (fight or flight) and parasympathetic (rest and digest/freeze) systems, operates largely without conscious effort. It regulates everything from digestion to heart rate to respiration to sexual arousal.

When our ANS is dysregulated due to chronic stress, physical or emotional trauma, or other factors, it’s hard to ride the waves of life comfortably. Our bodily systems can get stuck in fight, flight, or freeze modes, and our basic functions can be impaired. Some people try to mask these stuck states in unhealthy ways, such as with excessive exercise, drinking, eating, or sleeping.

Our bodies, however, need to ride the waves of the stress cycle. That is, we need to be able to respond to stress and then return to a state of rest and repair—much like a sound wave, our ANS needs to be able to fluctuate up and down within a regulated range. And we need to learn to tolerate the sensations that go along with those fluctuations.

By working with the body and the breath, we can actually learn to “down-regulate” or “up-regulate” our systems so they respond more appropriately to stress. For many of us, this calls for professional support from a yoga class, bodyworker, or trauma-informed coach, to name a few.

But we can also promote nervous system health on our own with things like intentional, mindful exercise, which serves to discharge stress from our systems. We can pause at regular intervals throughout our day to check in with our body and respond to its needs. We can give ourselves permission to not have it together all the time, and let some of those balls we’re juggling fall to the ground (and know it will be okay).

Feelings Having children has taught me a lot about how we experience our feelings and how our culture impacts that experience. My mantra for my children is this: Your feelings are okay, and it’s okay to express them—but you need to learn to do it in a healthy way that doesn’t hurt yourself or others.

Unfortunately, so many of us have internalized messages that our feelings, especially negative ones, are not okay, and that our expressions of them are problematic. As a result, we don’t allow our big feelings to come up and out like they need to. Why hold back tears or resist feeling angry when, like waves on the shore, the feelings come in and they go out—if we allow them to flow?

In a day, week, or month we will cycle through feelings that are both comfortable and uncomfortable. When we

trust this cycling and that our discomfort is not permanent, we can lean into it more and surrender to the movement in and out of these feelings. When we practice mindfulness by noticing and naming our feelings, we also allow them to flow more freely. And when we learn to express and release our feelings mindfully through journaling, music, or connecting with a friend, for example, we can “have a day” without feeling the need to change it in any way.

Social Connection We are social beings. Even the most introverted of us thrive on meaningful connections with others. We aren’t meant to navigate life alone or even just within our nuclear families. We really do thrive with a tribe, even if we need to re-energize alone. Connecting with others is an evidenced-based way to promote nervous system regulation and reduce stress. A hug, a caring conversation, or a game of catch can all settle a stressed system.

In this realm, too, we move through cycles of connection with and disconnection from others. Furthermore, we may fluctuate in our focus on connecting with others versus connecting internally with ourselves. We need to give ourselves permission to shift between these states while staying mindful of our patterns. If we tend to isolate ourselves, we may work on asking for help from others and providing support as well. If we tend to put up walls when times get tough, we may need to proactively set boundaries for others that will support us feeling safe to reach out. If we are perpetually engaged with others to avoid focusing on our own feelings, therapy may feel like a safe option, so we are with someone as we go inward.

Almost twenty years after my therapist invited me to “have a day,” I’m still inspired by the notion. Let us stay curious and open as we move through the up and down, the in and out, of life. Let us embrace and own the cycles and fluctuations. Let us give ourselves the freedom to ride the waves of our feelings, our bodies, and our lives.

Kellie Mox catalyzes revolutionary healing for women through powerful conversations and whole-health mentoring. She is passionate about authentic, meaningful connections—to the self, others, and the world—and believes that healing flourishes when we strengthen these connections and embrace our wholeness.

Kellie is a certified coach and a student of homeopathic medicine with a master’s in health behavior and health education. She works with women virtually and in-person from her home base in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

Instagram: @kelliemox Facebook: www.facebook.com/kelliemoxcoachingandhealing

August 2019 | 33

New Recording Studio at Ypsi’s Parkridge Community Aims to Promote Youth as Cultural Leaders

Photo by Doug Coombe Bryan Foley and Anthony Williamson Published in collaboration with Concentrate Media.

S

taff at Ypsilanti’s Parkridge Community Center have realized a years-long dream of creating a world-class music recording studio to host educational programming for area youth. Programming recently kicked off at the new studio, which arose from a partnership between the nonprofit Youth Arts Alliance (YAA), the community center, and other community organizations.

Parkridge already had a relationship with YAA through a previous mural project in the community center at 591 Armstrong Dr. in Ypsi. So Parkridge community development manager Anthony Williamson was excited when YAA executive director Heather Martin mentioned her plans for a music and arts program aimed at youth 34 | The Brick Magazine

transitioning out of the juvenile justice system and their peers. YAA won a $25,000 Ann Arbor Area Community Foundation In Our Neighborhood grant to fund the idea.

Williamson says he’s wanted Parkridge to offer expanded music and arts programming for years, but two previous grant applications had been rejected. He says the basketball court in the center is a big draw for teens, but he hopes to divert some of those youth to the center’s other programming.

“If we get them to come in through the art door, that’s fine as long as, at the end of the day, they benefit from all the efforts the center is doing to improve academics and eventually...attend Washtenaw Community College,” Williamson says.

Parkridge donated an underused exercise room to house the studio, while YAA will provide teaching artists and programming. Tyler Duncan, a local music producer who once designed a studio for music legend Prince, lent his expertise to the project. “(Duncan) was instrumental in the design and layout of the music recording booth,” Martin says. “Tyler has done a lot to ensure we have the best equipment.”

A long list of community partners are contributing in other ways, including the Washtenaw County Juvenile Court, the Washtenaw County Sheriff’s Office, the Michigan Juvenile Justice Youth Advisory Board, Radiant City, and the Washtenaw County Mental Health Department. The Interfaith Council for Peace and Justice is helping spread the word about the project and the University of Michigan School of Public Health will be evaluating its impact.

The Association of African American Contractors’ Washtenaw chapter played a particularly pivotal role by providing labor and expertise to build the studio. Bryan Foley, a member of the contractors association, says one of the organization’s secondary goals is to introduce youth to the building trades, so the studio project was a great fit.

“They asked if we would be willing to share our time, energy, and resources with them, and we jumped at the opportunity,” Foley says.

The association engaged six local youth in the building process, including Marnez Taylor, 16. He says he’s helped build backyard sheds in the past, but he still learned a great deal from the process.

“I like to build things and I wanted to learn more about building and things like that, so it was very interesting and I learned a lot doing it,” Taylor says.

Foley says most of the other youth didn’t have any construction skills, so he started from the beginning.

“I introduced them to just the basic hand tools, like a screwdriver, drill, saw, tape measure, and hammer,” he says, even going into detail about how to read the different lines on a tape measure.

Foley also took the young people shopping at Home Depot so he could show them the various grades of lumber and what they’re used for.

“As I worked with them, I’d see them light up by having these hands-on lessons and building something and

seeing it come to life,” he says. “It was a really spiritually enlightening experience to see that and be a part of that.”

Youth who are transitioning out of the juvenile justice system can receive double community service hours both for helping construct the studio and taking part in the programming. Martin emphasizes that while the programming is partially focused on youth who have been involved with the juvenile justice system, it is open to all Ypsi-area youth.

The studio’s first day of programming kicked off May 29.

Although construction wasn’t fully completed yet, young people had the opportunity to familiarize themselves with the recording equipment and create some beats.

Visual arts and music workshops will run from 4:30-6 p.m. every Wednesday this summer at the studio, and additional YAA programming will be held in collaboration with Parkridge’s summer camp program. Martin says programming will expand to other days of the week as the studio “gain(s) traction.”

In the long term, community center staff would like to see the studio opened up to all area residents, not just youth.

Williamson says he knows there are many adults in the community who have expertise in singing or songwriting, and he’d like to see some “intergenerational programming” in the future.

Martin says the studio will also help to nurture Ypsi’s young artists in a professional setting. YAA hosted an event during spring break in which young artists were paid to create a mural in the studio space, and Martin expects the studio to continue presenting similar opportunities for young people’s enrichment.

“We’re seeking to invest in their incredible talents and elevate them as cultural leaders,” she says.

Sarah has been involved in journalism since she began producing a one-page photocopied neighborhood “newspaper” in grade school, later reporting for and then editing her high school paper. She has worked on staff at Heritage Newspapers and the (now defunct) Ann Arbor Business Review and has written as a freelancer for various publications ranging from The Crazy Wisdom Journal to the News-Herald to AnnArbor.com. She began writing for Concentrate in February 2017.

When she isn’t writing for Concentrate or doing freelance reporting and editing for other publications, she can be found cuddling her cats, bicycling, doing jigsaw puzzles with her husband, or playing board games with friends.

August 2019 | 35

Into the Great Wild Open

by Bridget Baker

I

looked up at the black and white clock, hearing the subtle buzz of the second hand as it moved along. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…the bell rings and it’s officially summer vacation! I could now run wild and free, untethered by school lunches, teacher’s rules, and the limitations of the recess bell.

That memory from getting out of school each year always meant the possibility of swimming pools, summer dance camps, and the freedom of being able to sleep in. It was a defining moment. Not only is my birthday in the summer, but ending a school year meant I was another year older, another year wiser, and also that I was advancing to the next grade. I was

36 | The Brick Magazine

Photo by Jake Blucker

growing up, which meant I was that much closer to a life of freedom. I never liked sitting in a classroom and preferred the wilds of choosing my own schedule, my own rules, my own adventures.

In a former life, I was a dancer. I had what most people thought was a “dream job.” While I loved to dance, I didn’t enjoy the lifestyle. I spent six days a week, ten hours a day or so inside in a dance studio, hanging out only with other dancers. While this offered a family and comradery like nothing else might, I longed to hang out with people with different interests, with different styles, and with different body types. I longed for a diversity of experience, and for a life where my day off

was not spent just recuperating from a hard week of dancing and doing the laundry, but of hiking, camping, and playing! The physical rigors of a dance career simply did not allow for many adventures. I wanted to get wild!

When I left dancing, it wasn’t because I wasn’t passionate about it, or didn’t love moving an audience.

I thought the adventure would be working in an office. As odd as that sounds, it felt crazy to imagine a life where I didn’t spend my days wearing tights and sweatpants at work all day. I wanted to get fancy and wear heels and suits. I wanted to get dressed up, and feel more like a “woman.” It’s funny now to think that approaching a more nine-to-five corporate environment felt like freedom, but to someone who had only known dance for twenty-something years, being able to wear whatever I wanted felt like an opportunity to me.

I also wanted to be known for more than just my physical body and what I could do with it. The pressures of maintaining a dancer’s physique were challenging, as I didn’t have the stereotypical perfect ballerina body at the time, and I was under constant scrutiny to lose weight, to be fit, and to look a certain way. I wanted to expand my mind, be known for my intellect, and I knew I had so much more to say and offer the world. By studying journalism in college, I was looking to give a voice to this dream of sharing what I had to think.

Lost in trying to reinvent myself in a new career, I realized I didn’t want a traditional office nine-to-five day job. I had tried it on, thinking that a day job would be more stable and offer me better financial security, but I just found myself uninspired and miserable. I wanted a more flexible work life so that I could travel or work on days that worked for me in case I needed to take a Friday or Monday off, on my terms. I dreamed of what that business would look like and started developing and honing my skills. My current lifestyle is not what I had imagined I would do or be when I “grew up,” but it matches the way I want to live my life now. I took the time to get clear about the kind of life I wanted, and then designed everything around that.

Fast forward to my lifestyle now. I don’t have school-aged children, so I have no awareness around

milestones like middle-school graduation, and no way to delineate time off. I run a location non-specific digital nomad business as a web designer and branding consultant. I can take any day off I choose, as I make my schedule, and I often work on bank holidays because I get to. I can have a three-day weekend whenever I want, even if this means working later in the day, or on a Saturday some weeks. My husband and I have a motto as we design our lives: “My week ends when I say it does.”

When we’re kids, with every Labor Day—or even sooner nowadays—comes “back to school” time. No more running free. No more choose-your-own-adventure.

Now you can only play at scheduled recess times and you have your subjects decided for you. This kind of discipline shapes young minds for being out in the world as grown-ups, but where do you still confine yourself in your adult life now? What if you could remove some of your limiting beliefs? What if you could say “no” when you feel overcommitted, and design your life exactly the way you want to?

Three years ago, my husband and I set out into the wilds of life on the road when we decided to purchase a travel trailer to leave Los Angeles and to live full-time in that trailer! I was scared, unsure, and mostly just confused about how things like jury duty worked on the road. As my husband talked me down off the ledge and assuaged my fears, I began to realize: this is what I had been preparing for. I mean, I didn’t design a business that I could do from virtually anywhere for no reason. I wanted a life where I was free of time constraints and where I’d be able to travel, not only for vacation but as my lifestyle.

Here I am now in the Great Wild Open, with no end in sight. Why not design your life like it’s summer break year-round?

Bridget Baker is a branding consultant, website designer, minimalist, digital nomad, and adventurer. For 10 years, she’s supported small business owners in branding, designing, writing, simplifying, and integrating their websites so that they can do what they love and have more fun in the process. She also lives full-time in a travel trailer with her husband and little dog, writing and speaking about minimalism, decluttering, and living simply. Find her at : bridgetbakermojo.com; travellightlife.com

August 2019 | 37

WOMAN ON THE STREET

The Soft Ones

by Stella Orange

I

n yoga class, my teacher encouraged us to bend our knees a little bit. “Notice the personal places inside that are tight or hard,” she said, “and instead of trying to fix them, try and see if you can slide your breath in there.”

My yoga studio is an eight-minute walk from my house. I recently walked there in the sunlight of early evening past one of my young neighbors, who was standing in front of her house with her parents and grandmother. When I asked, she gave me a high-five. When she caught sight of the mat slung across my back, she said, “Did you do yoga?”

I replied, “Not yet.” Holding both her mother’s hands, she walked up her mother’s legs and turned a flip. “Have an excellent time at yoga!” she yelled as I walked down the sidewalk. “I’ll do my best!” I shouted back.

Signing in on the clipboard at the studio, I was greeted by one of the people who works behind the front desk, trading work for yoga class. “I haven’t seen you in awhile,” he whispered. “Good to see you again. How are you?” I whispered to him that I was in an excellent mood, because the sun was shining after a stretch of coldness and rain. He agreed, and we chuckled that we weren’t the only ones.

When the weather is nice, folks in the neighborhood get out on their front porches and sit on their front stoops, and

38 | The Brick Magazine

Photo by Pavel Chusovitin

everyone’s in a good mood, calling out to passersby. We agreed: as pedestrians in sunny weather, we become beauty contestants, smiling broadly at nothing and waving and blowing kisses at everyone. He and I both waved, adjusted our imaginary crowns, and blew kisses for good measure.

Which is how I found myself on a yoga mat in a retrofitted bank building in the hood where there are still sometimes shootings. And where I’ve noticed some of my young male neighbors wearing red caps, shirts, and shoes, which I suspect is gang-related. But inside the old bank-turnedstudio, it is peaceful and I feel safe.

My yoga teacher bought the building and made this sanctuary over a decade ago. She begins class by inviting us to notice the beauty of the sunlight, and the beauty of the space we are in.

And then she invites us to lay on our backs and breathe as we begin.

Laying on my back, belly-up, is a vulnerable position to be in. I am used to standing firming on both feet, or walking, or sitting down facing other people. Laying on the floor, spine on the earth and breasts and belly facing skyward, I

must surrender my ability to move or respond as quickly as I can on my feet.

I choose to do this because I sense it is good for me, as a human being, although it takes me time to sink into the position. When I think about it, this yoga studio is one of the few public spaces where I feel safe enough to drop my guard and allow myself to be physically vulnerable around other people. I can drop my guard at home. I can drop my guard in nature, out on a hike or sitting by a river.

And I can drop my guard in this old bank building. But that’s pretty much it.

Elsewhere, I never know what is about to come at me, so I must be alert and watchful. I cannot let my guard down, because it exposes me to situations and people who are not as gentle with my softness.

What is curious to me is that I did not know this about myself for many years. I did not know how tender I was. I did not know that I am soft, like a rabbit, or a child, or a flower.

Earlier in the week, I’d had a full day at work. It was a good day, full of interesting conversations and fascinating people, but I was full. I was talked out. I needed stillness, emptiness, quiet. I had a little time before yoga class. I went out to the front yard to water the plants. After a few minutes, my next-door neighbor popped out from his backyard. I like him; he gives me gardening advice and we chat whenever we see each other. But I wasn’t in the mood to talk, so I told him hello and that I was feeling quiet after a full day at work.

“Oh, you don’t feel like talking? That doesn’t seem like you!” he said. And then he, this man I consider a friend, lifted his hands and made them talk to each other like chatty puppets. He meant that I’m a talkative woman.

(Side bar: the trope of the talkative—or lippy—woman has been with us for ages. In sixteenth-century England, speaking your mind or refusing to shut up as women should were characteristics of witches. This is just one example. Look, and you’ll find more.)

Even though I was standing on my property, it was all too public space. My guard was down. I was unprotected. I had let myself be soft with a person who was unprepared for how to be in relationship with someone like me.

I felt my eyes well up with tears, and I was defenseless to stop it. I had done everything I had learned to do. I

had told him that I was soft. I had told him that my cup was full. I had asked for what I needed. But he did not catch my signals.

This is what it is, sometimes, to be a soft one. I try very hard to let things go. I have developed a fabulous toolbox of interpersonal, relational, and self-mastery skills that I deploy daily. And yet, sometimes, when I am full or tired, it is not enough. And if the other person has not had to learn how to be soft, if they have not noticed that I’ve shapeshifted from a jovial neighbor to a robin’s egg, a baby bird, a grape—or they don’t care—I get hurt.

Had my guard been up, I would have told my neighbor about the witches, and how, as a gay guy, he should know better than to resort to tired stereotypes. Had I been harder, I could have poked fun back at him, giving him a taste of his own medicine. Had I had more capacity within to choose my response, maybe I would have even given my energy to smoothing things over between us after the rupture he created. But I did not. I stood, watering my plants, quiet and breathing through my held-back tears and disappointment. It was awkward. I let it be.

Because this can be a hard world, I’ve spent years of my life shrugging off these hurts, sweeping them under the rug of my psyche. Oh, I’m just sensitive. Oh, they didn’t mean it. Oh, you just need to toughen up. But what if softness only comes when we allow it within ourselves and when we practice it with each other?

This why I practice softening. Why I experiment with openness and receptivity. Why I tinker with letting my guard down in small doses, and letting the chips fall where they may. Because maybe, just maybe, we are all soft ones. Or we all were, long ago. Maybe there are more of us than we think. Maybe we are here, not to fix things, but to bring more softness where it’s hard. Where it’s tight.

Where it’s clenched.

As I walked home after yoga class, I passed a group of kids playing in front of their house as the sun set. One kid rode past me on his bike. He caught sight of the mat slung across my back and said, “You just do yoga?” I replied, “Yeah.”

Stella Orange is a copywriter and co-founder of Las Peregrinas, a business advising and marketing service company. Find out more about her work at www.lasperegrinas.org

August 2019 | 39

Come Dance on the Wild Side

by Gail Barker,

B.A., C.P.C.C.

Photo by Miguel Bruna

40 | The Brick Magazine

E

very year, a few months before my birthday approaches, I find myself standing in an introspective space. It’s a space where I contemplate who I’ve been, who I am and who I’m becoming. Moreover, I start to reflect on HOW I’ve been, HOW I am, and HOW I’m becoming.

There seems to have been a shift as I’ve grown. A change, if you will, both in who I am and how I am. I suppose this is inevitable. As we grow, we change; we evolve and we show up differently. Within that changed space, however—while there is much that is good and has been gained—there’s a loss that I feel, a yearning for something that used to be present.

Specifically, I am aware that I have lost my ability to be free.

Free to say what I want without overthinking the impact.

Free to move how I want without the fear of being laughed at (you know, like skipping through a parking lot or dancing in a shopping mall). Free to laugh when I want to laugh, cry when I want to cry, or yell when I want to yell. Free to

agree or disagree with another without fearing that I will somehow lose a relationship.

In short, I seem to be losing my ability to live on the edge, on the wild side.

As I look around me and witness my friends, family members, and colleagues, I see that I am not alone in this experience.

Even as I watch my children (who are now in their late teens—one almost in his twenties!) and their friends, I notice that this same shift has happened and continues to happen for them as well. The free-spirited children I once knew are slowly becoming more stoic. And here’s something noteworthy: the shift happens regardless of the type of environment they’ve grown up in. Whether they’ve come from a permissive household or a strict one, an encouraging family or a judgmental one, a large family with several siblings or even if they were an only child—slowly but surely, every person’s “wild child” gets abandoned at some point and is replaced by a much more sedate individual.

August 2019 | 41

This “sedateness” is often characterized as maturity.

That sounds good, but it’s not entirely accurate. Instead, such maturity seems to come with a corresponding loss of a joie de vivre. And I’m realizing that sort of trade-off doesn’t have to happen. In other words, maturity can encompass a wild abandon as well as stoicism—the two are not mutually exclusive, and when we act as though they are, we only live half-heartedly.

So what is it that leads to this denial of our wild side?

What has us put that freespirit aside in favor of a more stoic approach to life?

From what I can see, it’s always about fear. First, fear of judgment. Then, fear of not being accepted.

And finally, fear of abandonment, of isolation, of not belonging, of being left out.

Somewhere along the line it has been noted that when we are not accepted for who we are or how we are, we get left behind. We get left out. We get shunted aside, and moreover, we are judged as “less than” or “not good enough” in the process. And who the heck wants to feel like that?

Photo by Caju Gomes

42 | The Brick Magazine

So, we start to hold back. We learn to temper our responses.

We hide our particular idiosyncrasies (or what we perceive as idiosyncrasies) in favor of what we believe is more acceptable behavior. In short, we play small.

up. That’s not being mature; that’s selling out.

So, what have I learned about reclaiming my wild side?

Living in a way that includes my wild side requires me to be conscious of where I’m holding back, what I’m longing for, and letting go of fear (letting go doesn’t mean the fear won’t exist; it just means that I will choose to honor my full expression in spite of the fear).

Reclaiming my wild side is an act of self-acceptance.

When I reclaim my wild side, I remind myself that who I am and expressing who I am is far more important than being accepted by anyone who wouldn’t accept all of me.

When I walk on my wild side, when I give myself over to all that I’m feeling, I am actually better able to serve the world around me. My message is better received, and my actions better honored, when I bring all of me to the game.

Being wild doesn’t always mean being loud or flamboyant; it simply means that I don’t hold myself back.

Giving myself over to a sense of wild abandon allows me to feel a lightness in my being. The weight of preconceived notions and judgment is lifted and I can give full expression to whatever it is that I am feeling, needing to say, or being called to give to the world.

Playing small is a bit of a catch-phrase in the selfdevelopment world. It’s all about holding back. When you play small, you become a diminished version of yourself, muted, energetically pale. You’re just not as vibrant as you could be— and you sell yourself short. Moreover, the world doesn’t get the benefit of experiencing your full being.

Earlier I said that the shedding of our wild side is often done in the name of maturity. True maturity, however, understands that there is value in bringing your whole self to the table. Your silly self. Your risk-taking self. Your loud self and your quiet self.

Can you leave behind or shed any aspects of yourself as you grow? Of course you can. Indeed, as you evolve and mature, you will naturally outgrow old belief systems just as you outgrow clothes. Certain relationships will fall away.

And that’s okay. What’s not okay is when you leave vibrant parts of your personality behind, in the name of growing

Bottom line: the act of maturing does not necessitate the abandonment of all that is wild within you. When you set down your wild side for more staid behavior, or what you believe to be socially acceptable, you deny yourself and the world around you the full experience of who you are.

Don’t do that. Trust me when I say, the world needs you to show up in your full expression. When you can do that, that’s when you know you’ve arrived.

Gail Barker is a Certified Professional CoActive Coach. She specializes in supporting leaders to lead powerfully and meaningfully.

Her company, Stellar Coaching & Consulting, was established in 2013, and through that platform she has supported hundreds of leaders in elevating their leadership game. A few of the additional hats she wears professionally are author, speaker, and radio show host. Personally, she is deeply committed to her family, loves to read, and finds deep restoration when walking along the beach (even in the winter).

Website: www.stellarcc.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/stellarcc Twitter: stellar7

August 2019 | 43

Spells for Running Wild

by Madeleine Forbes Photo by Ivandrei Pretorius

44 | The Brick Magazine

H

e’s balanced and breathless, with sticky cherry juice staining his chin. Barefoot. Grubby. Waiting for his cue, which is for me to move towards him, startling that glorious toddler cackle from deep within his belly, so that he can wobble and fall over again.

We moved the old mattress into the big canvas tent when my brother and his girlfriend stayed last month. The pillows and covers are back in the house now, leaving only a faded blue sheet on the bed. I know the dog likes to sneak in and nap here in the heat of the day, and now the kid loves it too, running in circles on the dusty floor, hurling himself onto the bed.

strangeness of the black and white world in moonlight, adrenaline coursing through me. Getting almost to the house and breaking into a run over the last hundred yards to the front door, for no reason other than the dark is terrifying and home is welcoming and it does one good, now and again, to feel that thrill and succumb to it, to pound one’s feet and leave the terrors of the night behind.

But it isn’t only in the wild that we feel that sense of looseness, of freedom, a sudden flash of the power that’s ours when we let go and fully inhabit this world we’re in.

It’s waiting for you, too, my love, if you’re ready and willing.

If you can take a breath and allow your grip to loosen.

Our friends brought their daughter to visit from the city, and she’s frowning at me now, with a look of mild disbelief. The neat white socks and sweet buckle shoes have been tossed to the floor. Her hands are sticky. Still she hesitates. Really, she seems to be asking me? You’re not worried about how filthy dirty we are, how over-excited we are, about the mud we’re adding to the paw prints the dog left behind?

It comes when you step out of the shower and, instead of rushing to dress and cover up, simply hang out in your skin for a while. Notice how liberating it is not to hold your stomach in; to claim the space you take up and the soft, hairy, unrestricted presence of you. Not to make apology for yourself, to simply exist the way a cat or a bird or a rock does. Here. There’s a wildness in that.

But the toddler’s delirium is infectious. Now they’re both jumping and giggling, giggling and jumping, higher and higher as the sun pours in and I stretch out and notice the streaks of mud on my legs from the impromptu stream paddling. The big dog lays his head on the ground beside me and sighs, content to be here in this space with the small beings in their frenzy of delight, and I am content too.

I remember nights cycling home from work, when I’d take a longer route than usual. I’d take my bike helmet off and let it swing from the handlebars and meander aimlessly up and down suburban streets, breathing in the scent of the sweet flowers in tiny yards, and watching the lights come on in front rooms and the gentle domestic scenes within— TV, homework, dinner.

Wildness is a summer state of mind. When I think about wildness, I think about those moments I have stepped into since moving to the hills. Memories which take my breath away just to think of them.

Driving in the evening sun, music blaring, singing at the top of my lungs to the sounds of my teenagehood.

Hiking down to the river and, arriving sweaty on the bank, taking off my clothes and skinny dipping. All alone, just me and the trees, the shock of the freezing water and the steady current of the river tugging at my ankles.

Taking a moment to step away from my desk halfway through the day and lying down on the ground, gazing up at the olive tree. Breathing in the warmth of the afternoon and the hum of the insects and the great steady certainty of the land at my back, holding me.

Walking home at night from a friend’s place, the night still warm enough not to need a sweater. Daring myself not to use a flashlight; to engage my peripheral vision. The

Alone in the house, frying eggs to have for dinner. Eating them between slices of buttered bread in the kitchen, extra salt, letting the yolk run down my chin. Not caring, not caring that I didn’t care.

There is something to be said for diverting from your assigned route. To being a little late, a little loose, to allow your feet to take you where they want to, to playing hooky from your life for a little bit.

A good starting point, you’ll be unsurprised to hear, is to free yourself from your phone. It contains all manner of tedious reminders of the grown-up world you inhabit most of the time. Worse, it holds the potential for calls from people who might not be impressed to find you naked or intoxicated or eating a fried egg sandwich

August 2019 | 45

place. It’s letting your mind run riot a little, imagining yourself as that harried executive, that sulky teenager, that serene old lady.

We become wild when we abandon the trappings of society—yes, even the good ones, the ones which keep us sane and healthy. Those dietary guidelines you’re so good at observing; the emails you diligently respond to; the table you set for dinner.

What if you ate from the pan, with your hands?

Neglected your text messages? Answered honestly next time a stranger asks you how you’re doing?

Photo by Vladislav Klapi

on your own at 3am. Put the thing on airplane mode, or better still leave it at home while you head out to encounter the world. It will still be there when you return, tired and grubby and feeling alive.

Like all good magic spells, wildness needs certain circumstances in order to thrive. You can’t invoke it at any old time. The continuous state of running wild is a different beast altogether, requiring a more serious release of responsibility (along with things like mortgages and shoes).

Besides, too much of anything can leave a sour taste.

I find wildness best enjoyed in spontaneous pockets; all the better to savor the contrast with your earnest dayto-day. It’s nice to dilly-dally once in a while. To be lazy and gross, to revel in that, to abandon decorum and optimization and the forming of “good habits.”

It must be savored, too, properly enjoyed. If you hate yourself for stepping off the straight and narrow, it’s no fun at all. Better to relish it; to feel the freedom you have, lucky living breathing pulsing flesh-and-blood you are. It’s only natural you should want to push your bare foot into the mud once in a while, to step away from the screen for a day and hang out in the park. To curl like a cat in a patch of sunlight; to go for an aimless wander in your neighborhood at twilight, just hanging out, just noticing things, the way we did much more in pre-internet times.

Sometimes wildness is as simple as not checking your email when standing in line or waiting for a friend. It’s staring into space, letting your mind noodle, observing the deeply delightful smorgasbord of humanity in a public 46 | The Brick Magazine

What if you had breakfast for dinner and followed it with a second glass of wine? What if you woke up one night and instead of lying there worrying, actually got up?

Lit a candle, padded downstairs, wrote a letter, cast a spell?

Summer’s coming. Get sweaty, skip a shower, get grass in your hair. Say yes. Forget what anyone else thinks. They’re only wishing they could be doing it, too.

Now and again all of us need reminding that an awful lot of the rules we follow are ones we have created. Most of them are there for good reason, but once in a while it’s good to remember that you have the power—the power to feel what it’s like to have the sun on your skin and the mud between your toes, to let yourself be a little uncouth, a little rough around the edges, to stop making everyone so damn comfortable all the time. Let them wonder instead, wonder what it might feel like to be as free as you are right now, eating a peach with juice flooding sticky down your arm, sweaty pits, hair a mess, skin salty with sweat.

Let yourself unravel. The world is yours, and you are the world. Your wildness nestles within you like a cherry stone, waiting to be spat into the long grass, waiting to grow.

Madeleine Forbes is a writer, walker and unapologetic neglecter of her inbox. Born in London, she left city life in 2014 to start an off-grid life in the hills of central Portugal. She’s founder of The Seasoned Year, an online project to help us deepen our connection to seasonal cycles. Most recently she’s exploring a new response to the climate crisis, rooted in the cycle of the year and our craving for deeper connection. You can sign up for free Letters from the Land and follow Madeleine’s blog via her website; or follow her on Instagram or Facebook.

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August 2019 | 47

From Bubble Baths to Bliss

by Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC

Photo by Anita Austvika

48 | The Brick Magazine

“There is a morning inside you, ready to burst into flame.” ~ Rumi

W

hen was the last time you gave yourself over to the delicious sanctuary of a bubble bath—truly gave yourself over to the sheer bliss of it? What better time, really, than lounging amid those soft, floating bubbles to relax deeply, laying your burdens and worries aside for a bit? What better time to let the sensualness of the warm water, lavender oil, and bubbles open you to a tranquil, peaceful state of pause?

What gets illuminated, then, as your mind begins to open and relax? Perhaps your heart steps in—feeling soothed and comforted, expansive even—gently calling you back to center, back home to yourself. How is it to simply feel present, luxuriating in the exquisite here-and-now of warm, scented, bubbly water?

Often, we don’t allow ourselves to break through to this level of being—to quietly, yet passionately, give ourselves over to a place where pure joy can be found. The place of simply being. Why not let your next bubble bath serve as the gateway to your own personal expansiveness—and then to the cultivation of additional, maybe even more yummy moments of wild abandon?

I recently reminded one of my coaching clients that the secrets for developing a rich emotional bandwidth are contained within that one, translucent, giant bubble floating in one’s bath. This, of course, got her curious. She quickly leaned in closer, appearing to listen more intensely when I share this notion, especially since she had just expressed concern about not feeling as vibrant, passionate, or spontaneous as she wished to in her life.

I then shared a few key nuggets of wisdom for cultivating a state in which one can throw themselves, uninhibitedly, and without concern for social mores or constraints, into any given moment. To witness a client able to drop all the woulda-coulda-shoulda’s of their thinking and revel in the freedom of spontaneous movement toward a desire is to be in awe! There is great joy to be had in cultivating one’s capacity for this kind of bliss. Great joy indeed.

The first key to developing your capacity for glorious moments of bliss is to slow down and create spaciousness

in your life. In other words, doing things like taking a bubble bath. A bubble isn’t formed or blown quickly. It is the product of a soapy solution stretched across a surface. As air fills the surface sheet, it takes on that magical spherical shape. It is spherical because this shape supposedly puts the least amount of stress on the surface level.

When you can slow down in your life, taking the tension and stress you feel and give it pause, you create an emotional spaciousness to enter more fully and deeply into yourself. The space within this bubble of time that slowing down offers subsequently allows feelings, desires, and daydreams to more easily surface and become conscious. Within the spaciousness of a relaxed pace, one is much more likely to register, reflect on, and most importantly, claim these inner callings.

The second key on the path to wild abandon is to learn to honor whatever inner knowings are awakened. Similar to the secrets inherent in your bath bubble—where the magnificent, multi-colored translucent swirls creating the bubble’s form are central to the uniqueness of that particular bubble—so too are your longings, desires and daydreams central to your unique essence. And, as we are so often compelled to reach out and try to gently hold in the palm of our hand a bubble as it floats by, so you must delicately treasure the whisper of longings contained within your daydreams or desires. For these sweet rumblings tell us who we are and what is at the heart of what truly matters to us. And just as we marvel at the swirls of colors and shapes flowing as part of a bubble’s mystery, so too must we savor and appreciate the genuine, authentic expressions of self that surface and are contained within our daydreams and longings.

Which brings us to the third key—which really isn’t much of a key at all, rather an experience that happens as a result of the energies and attention given in the first two. It is the wondrous, exhilarating experience of pure delight! With your longings, dreams, and visions now more conscious, you can easily trust throwing yourself into them. And you will be inclined to do so, without thinking or over-regulating. You’ll dare to take the risk! You’ll August 2019 | 49

Photo by Marc Sendra Martorell

give yourself full permission. Passions will be expressed, and you will overcome social conditioning or inhibitions more readily because you have claimed awareness of paths you wish to travel. You’ll now simply go for it when the opportunity arises. Just as a bubble floats about, wandering in fantastically random ways, uncontrolled and uncontrollable in its natural state, often daring to land where it might be pretty darn risky—so, too, you must occasionally roll.

It was this exact process that led me to some recent moments of wild abandon. Realizing, for instance, from time spent daydreaming, my longing to experience new horizons, led me to spontaneously latch onto the opportunity to purchase the last two seats of a tour to Italy when the chance unexpectedly arose. Another moment like this came on the trip when I found myself doing shots of Sambuca liquor with my daughter—at 10:30 in the morning no less—when gifted shot glasses of such by a dear, elderly Italian shop-owner named Leo. Then later came another wild fling of sorts—the purchase of not one, not two, but three pairs of gorgeous Italian leather shoes. Fully undisciplined, for me at least, because one pair was red! I truly believe going for full-out pleasure is one of the very best parts of living.

50 | The Brick Magazine

So now, back to bubbles for a minute. Think about it: when you see a bubble floating by, doesn’t it make you happy? Doesn’t it make your heart sing? You just feel the lightness! Who knows where the bubble will travel.

We are compelled to watch. We watch in awe, I believe, because we want more bubble-like freedom in our lives.

And you’ll be able to give yourself over to such as you practice cultivating the key steps of slowing down, and then becoming aware of and claiming your deep inner callings, desires, or longings. The utter bliss and joy of self-expansiveness then will follow as you can confidently, zealously, give yourself over to the glorious impulse of following your heart’s desires. You’ll feel, I just know it, ready to pop!

Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC is a certified Life Coach in Ann Arbor, MI who loves empowering adolescents, adults, and couples to live from the HEART of what really matters to them so that they can bring their fully expressed, vibrant selves into the world. She has a special gift for helping women reclaim their feminine power, and embrace their radiant, sensual, sexy spirits. Their lives transform. They soar into their mid-life magnificence! www.lifeempowermentcoaching.com

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