THE
DECEMBER 2020
MAGAZINE
ANN ARBOR
THE ART OF GIVING ROMANS, REGIFTERS, & STRESS
PLUS! AFRICAN AMERICAN HISTORY IN KERRYTOWN
Sarah Whitsett
LIGHTING OTHERS' CANDLES
“Be good to yourselves, ladies. You deserve to sparkle, inside and out!” Madison Rally, Local Radio Host Market Strategist, Photographer Wearing GabrielNY Diamond Fashion
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S P IN N ING T H READS I NTO
The fabric of our old lives is unraveling. Yet, somewhere deep inside, hope whispers of new possibilities. We’re being called upon to weave a new normal out of our old threads. Enjoy a Complimentary Coaching Session as a gift to yourself!
Together, we can spin those threads into gold. Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC Life Empowerment Coaching, LLC 1785 W. Stadium, Suite 104 | Ann Arbor, Mi 48103 | 734.717.7532
www.LifeEmpowermentCoaching.com
THE
BRICK MAGAZINE
DECEMBER 2020
Publisher • Sarah Whitsett
Managing Editor • Tanja MacKenzie
Art Director • Jennifer Knutson
Copy Editor • Angelina Bielby
Marketing Director • Steve DeBruler
Photographer • GE Anderson
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Morella Devost Deborah Meadows
Monica Brancheau Allison Buck Liz Crowe
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Mikki Moscara Maria Sylvester Marji Wisniewski
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4 | The Brick Magazine
CONTENTS 6
A Very Veggie Holiday
10
Lighting Others' Candles with Sarah Whitsett
16
The Handcrafted Gift
18
For Personal & Planetary Thriving
22
The Gift of Being Seen
25
African American History in Kerrytown
26
2020 Paper Plate Awards
28
The Art of Giving
Romans, Regifters, & Stress
PORTRAITS HEADSHOTS WEDDINGS Book yours by January 31 using code word ‘Brick’ for a 25% discount
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Welcome to Booze 101 with
Liz
A Very Veggie Holiday
by Liz Crowe
6 | The Brick Magazine
I
f you’re reading this...congratulations! You deserve a pat on the back — or, dare I say, a drink.
It’s been a long nine months. If you’re like me, you’ve gone through several stages of grief and/or semiacceptance since March 16, 2020. Mine look like this: 1) Terror, 2) More terror, 3) Uncertainty, 4) Boredom, 5) Frustration, and 6) Ongoing ennui. Each of these stages correlated to a level of alcohol consumption that left my wine cellar completely empty and my tolerance level even higher than before — which is saying something that I probably shouldn’t admit. But there it is. Now, here we are, facing the end of the Year That Was Like That Curse About Living In Interesting Times. And it’s time to think about the holidays — food, drinks, Zooming with your daughter on Christmas Day because she lives in Toronto for grad school and can’t cross the border. You know, the usual. I’m pondering something new for a holiday meal. There was this experiment we undertook one year when the Crowe House went all vegetarian for health reasons, but managed we to end it by December for other obvious reasons. I’m thinking about this stage in our family diet again, mainly because I’m bored with the usual holiday meal fare, and there’s the fact that two members of the Crowe Murder (i.e. spawn) will not be at the table this year. I won’t need to make as huge a repast. So why not change it up? And because I’m me, I’m also pondering how to match up things like cranberry brie bites, holiday roasted cauliflower, mushroom risotto, roasted spicy squash, and smashed Brussels sprouts with a decent beer and wine list. As for cocktails, well, drink some good bourbon. That’s pretty much my whole advice. As we’ve already discussed, pairing wine or beer with food is a purely subjective exercise, but if you like following rules based on chemistry and how your own palate reacts to certain flavors and tastes, I’ve got a few suggestions for you. By way of a quick review: If you like to think about the wine or beer as something that matches your food, you’ll
want to keep them of the same robustness. In other words, if you’re going with a strong flavor in your food, then pairing with something similar is best. The other way to pair is to think in terms of opposites — matching by finding something that will complement a dish by providing a contrast or balance. Using the menu I listed above, let’s start with the cranberry brie bites. Brie, the cheese given as tribute to French kings, is a combination of nutty, earthy, grassy, and mushroomy flavors. The recipe I found calls for puff pastry and cranberry sauce, which will add a sharpness/tartness and some breadiness to the whole thing. So I’m thinking of offering either a bubbly Moscato wine or a nice, crisp Czech Pilsner by way of providing contrast. To pair in a more congruent fashion, I’d choose a Shiraz wine or a English Pale Ale (not an American IPA), neither of which will overwhelm the many flavors of this appetizer but will provide a nice, smooth partnering sensation. As for my holiday roasted cauliflower, if I keep it less spicy, I’m going to offer something with stone fruit or tropical backbone and acidity, like a dry Chenin Blanc wine, or a well-executed hazy IPA, which will have that “citrusy” note as a nice complement. If I decide to spice up my Roasty Cauli, I’ll reach for a Gewurztraminer, a German style with residual sugar to counterbalance the spice. A light pear cider will do the same on the beer side. If I’m determined to ensure that my guests keep matching courses to booze, I’ll definitely want to pull out a smoked porter for the mushroom risotto. The richness of a dish like that demands something equally hearty and powerful. All that umami — yum! An earthy Pinot noir would be ideal as well. Dishes like the spicy acorn squash I’m contemplating really do best with something contrasting that will help you enjoy the best in both. A solid American IPA is a classic pairing with spicy food, while an oaked California chardonnay or even bubbly Champagne works great on the wine side. This dish’s spice is of the Indian variety, so there’s a sweetness in the cardamom, ginger, and coriander, which means I want to be a bit more specific with my drink offerings. For a beer I’ll offer up a wellbalanced amber ale, and the wine option will be a Grüner Veltliner, an Austrian version of my favorite white,
December 2020 | 7
olfo Photo by Riccardo And
Sauvignon Blanc, but with a lime and pepperiness that is perfect for the dish. Finally, for the smashed Brussels sprouts, we’ll quaff a classic dry Irish stout, the creamy mouthfeel of which will be a lovely complement to the dish. The wine option will be a dry Chablis, because it won’t conflict with the Brussel-sprouty-ness of it. I’m sure you know what I mean. Oh, and for dessert we’re going to skip the heavy pies and cakes. Instead, I’m going to create an English-style fruit and cheese board and serve it up with some of my new favorite wine styles — the fortified ones. Port, sherry, madeira, marsala, and even perhaps a good ice wine, if I can find one, would be a lovely way to end a good veggie meal. A “fortified” wine is something that’s had a distilled spirit (usually brandy) added to it. It results in a rich darkred-to-brown beverage that’s stone-fruit rich (I would say “pruney,” but that sounds gross and it’s not) and a perfect complement to some rich, blue, or (dare I say) stinky cheeses. Ice wine is strong not from the addition
8 | The Brick Magazine
of brandy, but because the grapes used to make it were frozen on the vine, which results in a super-sweet yet strong beverage that is perfect with fruit and cheese. Leave it to 2020 to force me down a holiday vegetarian road, am I right? But in the scheme of things, it feels like a good way to end one year that felt like it would never end, while welcoming in 2021. And we can always grill a steak for New Year’s Eve. Cheers y’all! Amazon best-selling author, mom of three, brewery founder, craft beer marketing consultant, and avid sports fan, Liz Crowe is a Kentucky native and graduate of the University of Louisville currently living in Ann Arbor. She has decades of experience in sales, public relations, and fundraising, plus an eightyear stint as a three-continent, ex-pat trailing spouse, all of which provide ongoing idea fodder for novels and other projects. www.facebook.com/lizcroweauthor (fan page) www.twitter.com/ETLizCrowe
“it has to be more than pretty; it must be livable” REFLECT YOU R L IFE STY L E . www.birchdesignassociates.com RES I D ENTI AL • COMMERCI AL
December 2020 | 9
Photo by GE Anderson
10 | The Brick Magazine
Lighting Others’ Candles with Sarah Whitsett by Marji Wisniewski
I
met Sarah about a year ago. She introduced me to one of my favorite local spots, York. I knew that we would get along great when she recommended that I try the avocado toast (Avo Toast) off the menu (we both agreed that it’s the butter that makes it extra good).
Sarah leads by example in supporting her community, from eating local to finding ways to lift up other women in business and in life. When I think about Sarah, I’m reminded of a James Heller quote: “A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.” Through her words and her actions, Sarah continues to spread light throughout the community, even during dark times.
A CALLING TO CARE FOR OTHERS It had been fifteen years since I put on a pair of scrubs. I had stepped away from nursing at University of Michigan hospital to work from home while raising my three young boys. I never imagined that a pandemic would draw me back in. But it was a calling that wouldn’t stay quiet. I heard from my former colleagues that there was a shortage of intensive care nurses. Between full hospital beds and sick staff members, I knew I had the skills to step in and fill that gap. Plus, I was getting antsy in the house and I needed to be productive, to see people, and to be a part of the world. It just felt like the right thing to do for my community was to go back to the hospital and lend a hand. It was interesting to come back to nursing during a time that was so intense for health care workers. Yet, there’s something comforting about nursing. Nursing is predictable. I get to devote 12 hours of my day to care
for people as intensely as I can. I have seen the worstcase scenarios of what this virus is capable of. I have also seen our patients improve as we learn and develop treatment plans to best care for them. I don’t feel afraid caring for my patients with COVID-19. We have safety protocols and procedures in place to keep the staff safe. We know how to care for these patients. What does scare me is going into a grocery store after my shift and seeing shoppers not taking the precautions to protect themselves and others. It still surprises me. I was wearing a mask very early on, and telling all my friends and family to do the same because of the virus being airborne. I’ve been back in nursing since May, working Friday through Sunday. The rest of the week, I put on my other hats as a business owner and non-voluntary homeschool mom. But this is where I thrive, in a week packed with activity and variety. If I remove something out of my schedule, I will find something else to replace it. December 2020 | 11
Photo by GE Anderson
12 | The Brick Magazine
BRICK BY BRICK WE ARE STRONGER David Lewis by Emily Rose Imagery I’m grateful that my schedule allows me to focus on my boys during the week. They’re all in middle school this year. Two of the three are in virtual school and the third is able to go in person. Middle school is a challenge in itself, but middle school online brings a whole new set of challenges and opportunities. That’s not to mention the need for all the extra food in the house — growing boys are hungry all the time! While the boys are online or at school, I carve out time to work on the magazine and my marketing consulting company, Las Peregrinas. It’s hard to believe we’re already in our third year of The Brick Magazine. We’ve grown and changed so much over the years, and yet we’re still in the infancy period of the publication. I can’t wait to see where it goes from here. [We call it The Brick because I see each of these women doing their part to make our community a better place, to build it up. Each of us are bricks of our community, and it’s the work we do individually that make us who we are as a whole.] In 2020, we focused on being flexible and fluid with the magazine and our clients. Most of our clients are local small businesses, and we value that. We waived late fees and charges and gave them extra time to pay their advertising invoices when needed. In the thick of the lockdown this past spring, we had to produce the May edition completely online. But I was proud that we continued telling the stories of women in our community. I also had to swap out the paper quality on the cover of the magazine to save money as we stretched our budget to ensure everyone was taken care of. I hope to go back to the nicer paper quality and increase our page count very soon. Yet, even through the difficult times, we were able to experience growth. We grew in advertising revenue, online offerings, and in the quality of writing that we offered to our community. I’m immensely proud of that. I’m so impressed with the pool of writers we have for this magazine. They’re so talented, and the story ideas they come up with are inspiring. Our writers are mostly from within our community, so their stories really resonate with our readers. We celebrate the art of storytelling and welcome new writers to submit their stories to us.
My amazing team and I want everyone we work with to feel good, seen, and valued at The Brick. For 2021, we have committed ourselves to a theme of Spaciousness. We define this as “letting our work breathe,” taking up space that we want to take up, building and working from a place of enjoyment. We hope that this shines through the pages of the magazine for our much appreciated readers.
THRIVING IN UNCERTAINTY As far as celebrating my own accomplishments in 2020 goes, I’m proud that I was able to return to the ICU, and I’m doing a good job despite being away for fifteen years. I find comfort in the fact that my skills are still as valid today as they were before, that the virtues of nursing haven’t changed. In my home life, I’m proud that the boys are thriving, the wheels haven’t fallen off, and I haven’t had to buy new pants due to the quarantine. That’s about all I can say for this year. And for us overachievers, that can be humbling. When speaking to a marketing client of mine recently, I told her that this year is about “threading the needle.” The decisions we make today aren’t final decisions, but rather ones that will position us to thrive when we get to the other side of this difficult time.
December 2020 | 13
GET WHAT YOU NEED IN LIFE I remember in January, pop culture claimed 2020 as the year of “self-care.” Ha! That didn’t age well. I try to set aside a small part of my morning for some physical and mental care by riding my stationary bike and using the Peloton app. (Yep, you don’t need a $2,000 bike to get in a Peloton workout, just $13/month for the app and ride on!) I’m also trying to focus on getting more sleep. Before this year, I would use one day a week in my house, alone without the kids, to rest and recharge. But that just didn’t happen this year, so instead I use sleep to recharge and take care of myself. A 9:30 p.m. bedtime is the new normal. There was a bright spot this summer when I took the boys to my family’s farm in Kentucky. They were able to experience some simple summer fun, running around the farm with their cousins. I took turns with each kid teaching them to drive the Gator around the half-hour loop of the farm. It was this special one-on-one time that I otherwise might not have had. I also got to spend quality time with my dad doing physical work on the farm. There’s something nourishing about moving your body in nature (versus riding a stationary bike, for example). I still laugh about a day on the farm with my dad when he asked me to help clean out the duckweed that had grown in our pond. There we were, me in the kayak and him wadding in the pond alongside me in his swim trunks and life jacket — quite the pair. We used a rope, a board, and a pitchfork to clean it all out. We worked for hours together and rewarded ourselves with a beer while we admired the clean pond. Being in Kentucky revitalized me and gave me the strength to keep moving forward this year.
Photo by GE Anderson
14 | The Brick Magazine
A focus on self-care shouldn’t just be a theme for one year. I believe in figuring out what you need and getting it somehow, whether it’s pretty or not. Sometimes you have to fight for it. As a parent, if you’re miserable, everyone is miserable. Learn to ask for help. Accept that sometimes when you ask those closest to you for help, they can’t always provide what you need. So, figure out how to pay for help in those situations. You may need to get creative with your finances to make that vacation, babysitter, or house cleaner fit your budget; it’ll be worth it, I promise.
PASSION AND PLANNING Since I’m working three different jobs, I’m often asked for advice on starting a business. More often than not, I say “Go for it!” If you’re passionate about it and excited, do it! But be ready to do the work and be willing to ask for help. Starting a business is a financial risk that requires a lot of time, and you may doubt yourself along the way. Be realistic with yourself in all that it will entail. It will be hard, but the rewards will outweigh the struggle. I believe you’ll regret it more if you don’t follow your passions and dreams.
BE COMFORTABLE WITH FAILING, IT’S PART OF LIFE AND GROWTH I’m constantly failing, but that’s a place where I operate best. I focus daily on accomplishing a mission or goal. I find that it rarely ends up the way I had initially envisioned it. Sometimes things end up better than I expected, or completely sideways, or even an epic disaster. I’m always learning. I believe a failure is something that I can take forward with me. If everything was easy and always worked out, then I wouldn’t be challenging myself enough. I like to push the edge; this may invite failure, but it makes me feel the most alive. I don’t see 2020 as a failed year. Instead, it’s a place to move forward from. It’s a time to slow down and focus on those “threading the needle” activities that are important for future success. This year has forced me to look at things in a new way. Through trial and error, I’ve learned that anything is possible. By focusing on the connections I have, the community I’m surrounded by, and the skillsets afforded to me, I can figure out what can be created from there. This year has allowed me to change my perspective. If hindsight truly is 2020, I see now that there’s much more creativity and problem-solving available to me than ever before. If you were to tell me last year that I would go back to nursing, I’d tell you that you were crazy! But things change, and I have a calling that I couldn’t ignore — and that felt good. It reminded me to look at everything and wonder “What can I offer?” instead of feeling locked in and helpless. Some people are acting like as soon as we flip the calendar to 2021, things will magically get better. I know that’s a lie I easily enjoy telling myself these days. But what I do know for sure is that eventually, we will get out of these difficult times. The deeper we go in it, the closer we are to the end.
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We need to just keep going, one foot in front of the other, knowing that it will get better. In last year’s article, I wrote this closing line: “Let’s raise each other up.” This line still rings true a year later, maybe even more. Raising someone up might be as simple as a smile when they really need it, or calling our friends instead of texting. Let’s check in on people and make sure they’re OK. This past year has made many feel more isolated and alone than ever before. So check in. It’s been a tough year; let’s raise each other up and raise a glass to 2021.
With a passion for marketing that started as a young girl, Marji Wisniewski created her own marketing and communications organization in 2017. As owner of Blue Zebra Marketing Solutions, she helps local and regional businesses and non-profits tell their story through branding, graphic design, content creation, and PR, focusing on customized solutions for each client that are more unique than a zebra’s stripes. A Michigan native, Marji received her bachelor's from Western Michigan University and master’s from Wayne State University. When not working you can find her gardening, doing Pilates, listening to podcasts, and spending time with her family and two dogs.
December 2020 | 15
The Handcrafted Gift by Mikki Moscara
Photo by Jonathan Borba
16 | The Brick Magazine
“How are you doing today?” I asked as I started to pass groceries over the checkout lane. “Who cares? You only asked me how I’m doing because you’re paid to ask me!” said the man in the fun yellow suspenders that looked like two tape measures across his chest. “I really do care how you’re doing today,” I replied. “I honestly don’t have to ask, I just have to be nice. I choose to ask, because I really want to know.” At that moment I was thinking, How dare he assume I really don’t care! Sure, it makes me better at customer service, but… “I’m sorry,” the man said, tearing up as he put his hands up slightly. “I just recently lost my wife to cancer.” Then he broke down in full tears. My heart sank. I felt bad for the slight bit of anger I felt, and I wished I could take away the man’s pain. I couldn’t imagine what he was going through. Assumption can often distort the truth. “I’m so sorry. What was she like?” I asked. I felt like saying sorry was too insignificant, and didn’t do justice to what it really meant to lose someone who meant so much. It felt natural to ask about her. I didn’t even think about it; it happened so quickly and just came out. It was as if someone else made me ask. “She liked to write and sew,” he said with a slight smile. “She was a very kind woman and a great seamstress. In our forty-five years of marriage we always found a way to have fun, no matter how much money we had. I think you would have liked her.” A week later, the man came through my line again with same yellow suspenders and more stories about his wife. He told me how they had two grown children that lived out of state and he rarely saw them. His children living far away and rarely visiting made him sad, but most of all losing his life partner made him the saddest. It was on that second visit that I found out he was a woodworker. That explained the tape measure suspenders. Time went on, and the man made a point of always coming through my checkout lane, even when he had to wait in line. He would tell me so many stories about his wife that I started to feel like I knew her, had met her, or she was still alive. I started to look forward to those visits, because the angry older man that came through my line wasn’t so angry anymore.
“I knew my wife since grade school,” he said one visit. “She was always the most beautiful girl I ever saw, but I was so shy. I think she asked me out first. I was never one for making big leaps. In fact, I’ve often thought about selling the house and moving away, but I can’t bring myself to do it. Maybe that’s okay; maybe it’s okay that I never sell the house.” It was like someone was telling him to let go of the house, or move on. I didn’t see why moving out of the house would ever come into question, but it was something on his mind. Is that what happens when you lose your other half? You have to decide to move away and move on, or stay in the place you call home surrounded by the memories? There were times he would ask about me too. I told him I was in college for journalism, and he told me the world needs true journalists, that everyone’s in trouble if we lose them. That couldn’t be more true today, so many years later. One day, the man came in and handed me a long, tattered black box. There was no one in line behind him, so I opened the box. Inside was a light brown wooden and gold pen. “I made that,” he said. “I made that for you.” “Thank you so much!” I replied. I was speechless, and didn’t know what to say. “Thank you,” he said. “Thank you for listening to the stories about my wife, and taking the time to learn about her. Every time I come through your line, it’s like my wife is alive again. Thank you for giving me that.” Almost twenty years later, my daughter and I were going through my jewelry box, and I pulled out the pen. I told her about the beautiful gifts a stranger once gave me: a handcrafted pen and irreplaceable perspective. One day, I will give her that pen. Mikki Moscara is a writer with a degree in journalism from EMU. She has been a contributing writer and editor for Eastern Echo, Gothic Beauty Magazine, and Monroe News. She is currently the marketing manager at BELFOR Franchise Group. She lives with her family in the King neighborhood of Ann Arbor. In addition to being involved in local women's initiatives, Mikki and her family also frequently attend Ann Arbor charitable events. Instagram: @mikki.moscara Twitter: moscara_mikki
December 2020 | 17
for personal
& planetary thriving
Romans, Regifters, & Stress by Morella Devost
18 | The Brick Magazine
H
ow did Christmas become the gift-giving holiday? To the chagrin of those for whom this holiday is a sacred religious festivity, the reality is that for the majority of people, Christmas is all about gifts, parties, and food. The origins of this tradition can be traced back to Roman times. In the Roman Empire, December 25th was the date of observance of Sol Invictus (the rebirth of the “unconquered sun”). It was essentially a celebration of the sun returning after the winter solstice. This holiday also coincided with Saturnalia, the festival of Saturn, the god of wealth and plenty. Saturnalia was possibly the most popular of the Roman festivities and it was celebrated with many days of feasts and gift-giving. But in the fourth century AD, Emperor Constantine had made Christianity the official religion of the empire, and he wanted to shift away from these pagan celebrations. December 25th was chosen as the day to celebrate the birth of Jesus in most parts of the empire, while the Eastern Roman Empire chose to celebrate January 6th. This date is still observed as Epiphany in Christianity, marking the arrival of the three wise men to the site of Jesus’ birth. In fact, some people attribute Christmas gift-giving to an emulation of the offerings of the Magi. Then there’s the lore of Saint Nicholas of Myra, an early Christian bishop who lived during Emperor Constantine’s rule. He had a reputation for generosity and is said to have given away his parents’ fortune to the poor. Folklore said he frequently deposited coins and food in the shoes of those who left them out for him. In some parts of Europe, St. Nicholas Day is still celebrated on December 6th when children set their shoes out for “St. Nick” to leave a gift. This St. Nick is our Santa of today, but when or why he started riding a reindeer-pulled sleigh, wearing a red suit, or sliding down your chimney chute is less clear. So we can thank the Romans and Nicholas of Myra for our deeply embedded gift-giving tradition. What we may be less grateful for is the huge stress many people end up feeling because of it. When we think of the spirit of Christmas, we like to picture joyous giving — not two mothers pulling at each other’s hair and yelling expletives in a toy store aisle, fighting over the last unit of the highly desired doo-dad because their precious child simply must have one. What people are willing to put themselves through in the name of Christmas presents can be totally bonkers! From shopping at 3:00 am to get the first Black Friday deals to
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doing last-minute gift-runs on Christmas Day, this mad rush for gifts can last at least a month nationwide. And if your budget is tight, just the sniff of Christmas cookies can give you high blood pressure. Many folks would agree that Christmas shopping can be very stressful. Why? What is the fear underneath the Christmas-shopping stress? For one, we might be afraid of putting a big dent in our budget. (In fact, I suspect many people put all of Christmas on their credit cards and then pay the price for months to come.) Additionally, I believe many people experience a subtle anxiety in gift-giving: What if they don’t like it? What if it’s not enough? What if it’s too much? We fret that they won’t like it. We fret over the bills to come. We fret at how much we have to do — so many gifts to buy, wrapping to do, cookies to bake, parties to go to. And as the holiday season progresses, you encounter — and perhaps draw inspiration from — the different types of gift-givers...
The Natural Gift-Giver Some people are naturally talented at finding the perfect gift. You know them. Perhaps you’re one of them? These
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The Homemade Gifter Some people love homemades and others hate them. I believe it’s all in the skill of the crafter. Nobody wants a gift that looks like your five-year-old kid made it. It’ll likely go in the tchotchke box, unless it was your five-year-old who gifted it to you. In that case, it will likely go on display for a few months and then probably end up in the tchotchke box. I’ve gotten some extraordinary homemade gifts from one of my sisters. She’s made me scarves, hand-warmers, and shopping bags, and I use them all the time. I’m Photo by Kira Auf derHeide also one to enjoy homemade preserves and pickled foods. And I’ve personally been one to give are the people who seem to nail gift-giving at every homemade body butter and body scrub a couple of years, occasion. It’s like a superpower. when my budget was tight. I suspect natural gift-givers are really good at it because The Yankee Swapper they spend some time thinking about the person for whom they’re shopping. They consider the other person’s This is my favorite! For a few years, my ex-husband and interests and likes, and then peruse for the perfect gift. I hosted an annual Yankee Swap. The rules were simple: They stand in contrast with the tchotchke-giver. 1) $15-$20 budget; 2) homemade gifts allowed; and 3) funny is best. Our Yankee Swap quickly became the The Tchotchke-Giver holiday party nobody wanted to miss. It was so fun! I’m sure you’ve been a victim of a tchotchke-giver. This is In the end, whether or not we appreciate the Romans for the person who buys a generic gift that could be given to getting us started, we should remind ourselves to keep anyone (and probably nobody likes). I confess I’ve been a the spirit of giving and lose the stress. Here are three tchotchke-giver once or twice. It can often happen when practices that might help: 1) sticking to a total gift-giving you feel obligated to bring a gift, but you either have no budget, 2) giving each gift some thought, rather than idea what to get or have no time to give it thought. So rushing to TJ Maxx on Christmas Eve, and 3) tuning into you get something. The tchotchke-giver usually feeds the our love for the other person. In that sense, some of the regifter. best gifts can be really simple because they carry the true spirit and generosity of giving. The Regifter Some people are skilled regifters, and others just unload their tchotchkes on you. They have a closet full of the objects they’ve received and don’t like, and they pull one out to re-wrap and pass on. I wonder if they keep track of who gave them what so that they don’t inadvertently give it to the original gifter? Some people frown on regifting, but I think it’s perfectly acceptable as long as the gift is not a tchotchke you just want to get rid of. I once regifted a very expensive wedding present I received. We were never going to use it or display it, but it fit the style of the items on the new bride and groom’s registry. Voilà! 20 | The Brick Magazine
Morella Devost is a counselor helping her clients turn their deepest challenges into their greatest source of strength. After receiving two master's degrees in counseling from Columbia University, she became a Clinical Hypnotherapist, NLP facilitator, and Reiki Master. Morella is a VenezuelanVermonter working with people all over the world from her RVoffice as she travels the US with her family. She is the host of the Thrive With Morella TV-radio-podcast show. www.youtube.com/morelladevost thrivewithmorella.com www.facebook.com/ThriveWithMorella Instagram: @Morellad Facebook personal: @Morellad1 Twitter: @More_Joy
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The Gift of Being Seen
by Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC Photo by Matheus Ferrero
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I
’m sure you know the feeling; that moment when someone says or does something that lets you know they completely see and get you. You feel recognized and acknowledged for what makes you quintessentially you.
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It feels delicious, yes? A sense of aliveness and joy ripples gently through your body. Every cell tingles happily. It’s a moment of significance because you feel significant. At the core of our heart’s desire, we all long to be seen for who we truly are — for what makes us tick in all of our idiosyncratic magic and magnificence. It’s a fundamental human need. It’s a gift worth giving.
The gift of being truly seen can happen through many pathways — pathways as unique as each individual. When I was asking a few people about this, one person shared, “If I’m truly seen by someone, they’ll be able to take what they know about me and know how to respond without me having to constantly remind them of what my needs are.” Another said, “I feel seen when I can express a wide range of emotions and still be met with love, acceptance, and support.” Unconditional love and positive regard always deeply nourishes the spirit.
The gift of communicating that you truly see someone is, in my opinion, pure medicine for the soul. Both souls, actually. As the giver, you can relish in the pleasure of creating rapport that puts both parties on a wavelength of shared appreciation. As the receiver — the one seen — you get to bask in the warm glow of being known by another, perhaps without even having to explain yourself! Can you remember a time when you were cast in such a wonderful spell? The alchemy of a moment like this is both mysterious and life-transforming.
I myself have received the blessing of being beautifully witnessed in a number of ways. One friend reflected feeling “calm and grounded” in my presence. This offering meant a lot to me, because I strive to bring a calm and grounded self to my relationships. I was seen. Another friend referred to me as “a whisperer of goodness; a beacon of goodness.” Wow, right? (Thank you, M.R. — I treasure this memory.) You put into words my secret mission on the planet. Seen again. I danced a happy dance.
Photo by Max Jakob
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Recently, my husband pointed out how endearing it was to hear my foot tapping on the floor whenever I’m creating away at the computer. He knew by this sound that I was “in the zone.” So true, yet something I had never realized or appreciated I did. Interesting. Last example. Recently, a client said she experienced and valued my words as the “expansive, hope-infused words of a leader.” Hmm, I thought. She senses my energy! Seen again and smiling. Isn’t it amazing how we can come to even better appreciate ourselves through another’s eyes? Let me just note that being recognized in a “this is me” kind of way is different than simply being “noticed.” To be noticed, pleasant as it can feel, is more of a bychance, fleeting occurrence. We might notice, for instance, someone’s outfit, intelligence, or characteristic saunter. Noticing doesn’t necessarily communicate significance. When we let someone know that we really see them, it goes deeper; it endures and counts as much more. The warmth and glow lingers.
Restorative Power To give the gift of truly seeing another is to make a difference. A big difference. Too often, sadly, a person can wonder if they matter. When someone openly shares how they see us, or behaves in a way that lets us know they do, we light up inside. We feel even more of who we are, and who we are capable of becoming. We know, in that instant, that we matter. Feeling like we matter inspires us to grow, stretch, and live even more expansively. One of the key components of my life coaching practice — an aspect I’ve honed and quite intentionally developed over the years — is the ability to really see my clients and communicate this back to them. They experience my seeing them as an invitation to further embrace and develop themselves. To take risks. A person’s self-appreciation and self-recognition is greatly enhanced when another can mirror back to them, with respect and validation, elements of their character make-up that foster their unique presence in the world. In other words, we remember ourselves through the caring, appreciative eyes of another. How exquisitely restorative is that?
Sacred Communion “Sacred communion” is a term I use to capture the majestic power of rich, deep, meaningful connection
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that happens between individuals intent on authentically sharing themselves. During sacred communing, both parties make themselves vulnerable, opening the doors of their inner world to be better known and understood. They speak their truth. They spontaneously communicate what is alive in them. They share where they genuinely live inside of themselves. Powerful stuff. Communicating in this way intrinsically fosters closeness and intimacy. How we connect is, in my opinion, always fueled by a deep yearning to be seen and heard — and to be understood. The ancient meaning of the word understand is to “stand under.” If we are standing under another’s experience, we are directing our awareness and perception there. We are gifting another our mindful attention. What we see is greatly enhanced, on multiple levels, for both parties. To be truly understood can feel like a moment of pure triumph, yes? Hope rises. The interaction becomes a catalyst for further growth. This cultivating of meaningful connection, of sacred communion, of being seen, allows us be all the more human together. We reconnect with and celebrate the very best in ourselves. It’s what I consider the privilege of a lifetime.
Giving the Gift So are you inspired? We long remember those who have seen us, yes? This is the gift of gifts! Let this article deepen your commitment to try and truly see those you cherish, or those you meet along the path. Lovingly reflect back to them how you feel in their presence. Perhaps share what you experience their energy to be as you listen to them or see them in action. Giving yourself in this way will be treasured. I guarantee it.
Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC is a certified Life Coach in Ann Arbor, MI who loves empowering adolescents, adults, and couples to live from the HEART of what really matters to them so that they can bring their fully expressed, vibrant selves into the world. She has a special gift for helping women reclaim their feminine power, and embrace their radiant, sensual, sexy spirits. Their lives transform. They soar into their mid-life magnificence! www.lifeempowermentcoaching.com Instagram: @life_coach_maria Facebook: www.facebook.com/LifeEmpowermentCoaching
African American History in Kerrytown by Deborah Meadows
T
he African American Cultural & Historical Museum of Washtenaw County (AACHM) was founded in 1993. Our mission is to research, collect, preserve, and exhibit cultural and historical materials about the life and work of African Americans in Washtenaw County. Our programs include videotaped oral histories with the Ann Arbor District Library, Underground Railroad tours, and performances from local artists in our Focus on the Arts events. The latest Focus on the Arts was at the Kerrytown Concert House in October. The Kerrytown neighborhood was historically home to a melting pot of nationalities, including a small African American community. Their population grew after both World Wars after mass migration of southern Blacks to northern states. Redlining played a part in the formation and maintenance of this community; redlining means to refuse someone a bank loan or insurance because they live in an area deemed to be a poor financial risk. Several African American families in Washtenaw were victims of this unfortunate but intentional practice. A few still reside within the neighborhood, in homes that aren’t yet targets of gentrification. In spite of these practices, African Americans had a thriving community in Kerrytown. They raised families, secured employment, and owned businesses in the Black Business district surrounding Fourth Ave and Ann St. Most families could walk to Sunday service at Bethel AME Church at 632 N. Fourth Ave, or to Second Baptist Church at 213 Beakes on the corner of Fifth Ave. Children attended Jones Elementary School in what is now Community High School. The Dunbar Community Center at 420 N. Fourth Ave was operated by and for African Americans to enrich and empower youth and adults through educational and recreational programs. Across from the old Dunbar Center is the home once inhabited by an African American family at 415 N. Fourth Ave. Today, this building is the Kerrytown Concert House.
The "Ann Street Block" still houses storefronts, offices, and residences. It was built in 1871 as the Hoban Block after fire destroyed earlier buildings.
AACHM recently co-hosted a program with Kerrytown Concert House called “Blue Skies: A Jazzy Afternoon with Athena Johnson,” featuring the lush, soulful voice of this local songstress and her skillfully polished musicians. This virtual performance is available for your personal enjoyment at kerrytownconcerthouse.com. The next time you visit the Farmer’s Market, Kerrytown, or the Concert House, take the time to notice the landmarks of our recent past. Try to picture children laughing on the porch of 420 N. Fourth Ave, or imagine hearing the organ and gospel choirs floating out from open church windows at 632 N. Fourth Ave or 213 Beakes. Take time to read the historical panels that dot our city streets created by the Washtenaw Historical Society. Pause and reflect. Recognize that Black history is American history, and American history is our history.
Deborah Meadows has been a member of the AACHM Board of Trustees since 2003, and volunteers as a docent for their Journey to Freedom Underground Railroad tours.
December 2020 | 25
2020 Paper Plate Awards Monica Brancheau
Photo by Bannon Morrissy
S
o, it’s the last month of 2020 — phew! I have never been more excited for a year to end.
Let’s just say it: 2020 has been intense to say the least, and even surreal at times. We’ve experienced the COVID-19 pandemic, a resurgence in the Black Lives Matter movement, Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s passing. We’ve had to deal with the repercussions of our own President getting infected by COVID, virtual schooling, Zoom meetings for every kind of gathering, massive job loss — and, most tragically, a significant loss of people’s lives. People are exhausted. We’ve been tossed around in storm after storm with hardly a break in between, all while we’re supposed to juggle work, family, friends, and ourselves. At times, I’ve felt like a waitress trying to balance full plates in both hands and a tray of drinks on my head, all while riding a unicycle on a tightrope!
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I think this calls for some acknowledgement of what we’ve managed to survive, or even accomplish, in this chaos. You may have encountered paper plate awards before — it’s a fun activity, traditionally done at the end of a year or long-term project, where the leader of your group of coworkers or team members presents decorated paper plates that represent some kind of whimsical achievement. I present to you my list of paper plate awards for people and groups throughout 2020.
Mission Impossible Award This award goes to every single parent who’s trying to balance their regular job as well as a new volunteer position as their children’s virtual school tutor. You guys are superheroes! How on Earth are parents achieving the impossible? Probably by not sleeping, working in the middle of the night, putting their children in front of the
TV for hours at a time to get some work done, and a lot of wine.
Head-in-the-Sand Award The President is the clear winner. Many things qualify him for this award: the lack of an adequate pandemic response plan, the mishandling of racial inequality, the Rose Garden super-spreader event. It’s hard to believe that he managed to directly influence so many negative results of this year.
Lifesavers Award Here’s to medical staffs around the world — the doctors, nurses, and frontline workers who took this virus head-on and confronted the unknown. The dedication that medical teams gave and continue to give is truly nothing short of superheroics.
MacGyver Award Everyone gets this award! We’ve all been fixing things and adapting since this pandemic started... What, your graduation is cancelled? We’ll have a party instead, with a rotation of small groups of guests. We can’t have a birthday party? How about a drive-by one? You’re not going back to school? We’ll organize a pod of other families and students to stay connected. We had to cancel all of our vacations? We’ll rent an RV and go camping instead!
Fashionista Award No one wins this award! I barely ever wear makeup anymore, and pretty much live in athleisure wear. Who doesn’t right now? I’m not going to wear a blazer and skirt to sit in my home office all day. I’m not wearing a dress for a Zoom meeting. I’ll continue to embrace my loungewear as long as I can!
Loch Ness Award This is for Dr. Anthony Fauci. He’s the steady and consistent voice of reason and truth. We went through a bit of a dry period where we missed hearing his valuable science-based advice. I missed him! Hopefully he won’t disappear from the news again too soon.
Rookie of the Year Award It’s the app of the year: Zoom! I didn’t even know what Zoom was before March, other than a way to describe a fast car. Now I literally couldn’t do my job without it. Isn’t that true for all of us? Zoom has allowed us to work from home, connect with people from all over the world, and keep in touch with our families. If you don’t have stock in Zoom, buy some!
The Space-Time Continuum Award Who wins this one? Everyone in the USA. Don’t we all wonder what day of the week it is? Doesn’t it feel like we’re trapped in a time warp in an alternate universe? Time seems to move quite slowly since our lives were thrown out of whack. I daydream about the future; I long for a time when I can take a trip. But if I plan a trip now, I may have to cancel it.
Biggest Winners of All Award Our pets are the real MVPs here! Every pet seems to love the extra time with their humans. Dogs are going on more walks than ever. In fact, trying to get a dog is not an easy task right now, because everyone’s trying to get a dog! Let’s just be frank: our pets love the pandemic. Now that our plates have been handed out, let’s raise our glasses for a toast to us. We honor and remember those of us who did not survive 2020, and we commend and celebrate those who are still here. Let’s continue to look up to each other and hold our loved ones tight. Let’s keep fighting and juggling and pulling through. Here’s to navigating the chaos of 2020, and to the new possibilities of 2021! I can’t wait to see you all there. Monica Brancheau is a mom of four who has had multiple careers. She’s a Michigan native and graduate of the University of Michigan who then never left Ann Arbor. She has decades of experience working with children’s issues, from education to non-profit work in teaching in urban settings and non-profit management, marketing, and fundraising. All of this work has lead her to becoming the executive director of the ChadTough Foundation. When not working, you can find her gardening, reading, writing, listening to music, and spending time with her treasured family.
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The Art of Giving H
by Allison Buck
aving worked in various non-profit arts organizations over the past seven years, I’ve been lucky enough to meet a wide range of artists, art advocates, art administrators, and art lovers who call Ann Arbor home. Undoubtedly, art and culture are one of the many reasons folks are drawn to Ann Arbor (myself included). Whether folks come annually for the worldrenowned Ann Arbor Art Fair, or to visit the top-notch University of Michigan Museum of Art, or come for a more intimate arts experience at the various galleries in town — the options are endless.
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But as a resident of Ann Arbor, you might not know where to begin. One thing I’ve learned over the past several years is that there are a lot of awesome women giving their all to the arts in Ann Arbor, and through their dedication and creativity they’re providing diverse and authentic art experiences that are not to be missed! The Ann Arbor Art Fair makes Ann Arbor a go-to destination for arts and culture, drawing an audience of over 450,000 each year. But did you know that the Art Photo Roberto Nickson Fair is actually four fairs in one, produced bybyfour distinct
organizations all run by women? The Ann Arbor Summer Art Fair, the portion of the fair that spans Main Street and sections of Liberty and State Street, is run by the nonprofit organization The Guild of Artists and Artisans (aka the Guild). The Guild’s Executive Director, Karen Delhey, manages an all-women team that, in addition to The Ann Arbor Summer Art Fair, produces five other fairs annually and manages the newly-opened Gutman Gallery. Through the Gutman Gallery and other programs by the Guild, Delhey and her team connect artists to art lovers and provide educational and marketing opportunities for artists to support their careers, while also increasing the community's artistic appreciation and awareness. Although the Ann Arbor Art Fair was cancelled this year due to COVID-19, you can still connect with and shop for fine art in downtown Ann Arbor at the Guild’s Gutman Gallery located at 118 N. Fourth Ave. If you’re looking for a great way to shop local and give a personal gift this holiday season, check out their Holiday Artists Market either in person or online at ShopGutmanGallery.com. Feeling creative, or just looking for something to do? Learn to make your own gifts at one or more of the Guild’s virtual workshops; or, if you’re an artist, you can become a member of the Guild and showcase and sell your
work at the Gutman Gallery. Find out more information online at their website theguild.org or follow them on social media as they announce new opportunities on Facebook and at @gutmangallery on Instagram. Having produced art events for over 50 years, the Guild has something to offer for anyone interested in the arts. Speaking of organizations that have a long track record, the Huron River Art Collective (the Collective) is another great local group welcoming artists of all types. Formerly known as the Ann Arbor Women Artists (and originally called the Ann Arbor Women Painters), the group has grown since its inception in 1951 and changed its name a few times to more accurately portray its members. Also a non-profit organization, the Huron River Art Collective is open to anyone 18 and over with an interest in the arts, including professional artists, beginning artists, and even those who appreciate and support the arts. Currently all of their board members are women. The board president, Lizzy Wilson, a professional artist focusing on figure sculptures, says the Collective currently has approximately 280 members and that it’s in the midst of another major transitional period. In addition to the name change, the membership also approved a mission revision with the purpose of creating a more diverse, equitable, and inclusive organization. Even though
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her murals, inspiring the start of TreeTown Murals in 2007. Today, TreeTown Murals focuses on collaborations with folks on “projects that can be transformative, whether that is transforming a new space, facilitating new partnerships, or involving youth; projects that can foster an exchange of ideas and help create dialogue and opportunities to experience the world outside.” In addition to her mural work, Thiefels has also inherited a second creative company called Brush Monkeys. Brush Monkeys hires local artists during the holiday season to adorn the windows of storefronts with custom winter illustrations. These paintings are a fun and festive addition to downtown Ann Arbor. Be sure to check them out when you see them!
the name and mission may have expanded, the members still have a strong desire to focus on supporting women artists, recently developing a new program called "Empowering Women Artists." This program is a collaboration between the Collective, the Womens' Caucus for Art Michigan Chapter, and the Detroit Society of Women Painters and Sculptors. The first event for this program is scheduled for December 1, 2020. You can also enjoy the Collective members’ artwork at one of their recently-added virtual exhibitions on their website or in-person at local businesses such as Sweetwaters and Joe & Rosie’s. You can find more information about membership and additional programs offered by the Collective at annarborwomenartists.org/. Perhaps the most in-your-face example of the arts in Ann Arbor can be found at the corner of Fourth Avenue and Huron Street in downtown Ann Arbor. If you’ve driven east down Huron in the past year, then you’ve likely seen the massive 10-story tall mural “Challenge Everything. Create Anything” that spans the wall of the Courthouse Square building at 100 S. 4th Ave. This work, along with several other murals across Ann Arbor, are the work of the Collective member and TreeTown Murals founder Mary Thiefels, in partnership with TreeTown Murals' Creative Director, Danijel Matanic. Having done her first mural when she was only 19 and her first commissioned mural a year later, Thiefels has been adding color to the city with her murals for many years. This recent mural, produced in partnership with Destination Ann Arbor and Wickfield Properties, celebrates the local arts community. Some of Thiefels' first murals adorned the underpasses where the railroad comes into and across the city. Overtime, Thiefels received a growing amount of commissions and support for 30 | The Brick Magazine
Finally, if you’re at all connected to the arts in Ann Arbor, then you’ve likely met Deb Polich, president/CEO of the Arts Alliance and Artrain. Starting her 30+ years in the arts at the Michigan Theater and single-handedly running two non-profit arts organizations with the support of allwomen staff, Polich advocates for the impact of the arts locally and nationally, and even co-hosts a radio show in her spare time called creative:impact, which airs weekly on NPR affiliate WEMU FM. If you’re looking to learn more about the creative people, jobs, and businesses that make the Ann Arbor area such a vibrant place, then be sure to tune in. Want a comprehensive list of the local arts and cultural organizations, businesses, and individual artists in Washtenaw County? Check out the Arts Alliance’s annual Arts + Creative Industries Guide on their website at creativewashtenaw.org. Looking for a fun way to enjoy Ann Arbor’s arts and culture while being safe? Take a tour of the numerous murals and public art works that can be found across Ann Arbor. For inspiration, check out the Ann Arbor Public Art Commissions virtual art tour as a place to start (www2.a2gov.org/GIS/MapAnnArbor/PublicArt/), and add the Ann Arbor Art Center’s A2AC Murals projects to your list too (www.annarborartcenter.org/ art-in-public/murals/). While you’re downtown, pick up a piece of art for yourself or a gift at the Gutman Gallery; warm up with a cup of coffee at Sweetwaters while checking out the Collective’s latest exhibition; and enjoy the custom window art by Brush Monkeys! Allison Buck is currently the marketing director for the Guild of Artists and Artisans and the chair of the Ann Arbor Public Art Commission. She holds a master’s degree in art administration from the University of Michigan, Flint and two bachelor’s degrees in photography and English from the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor. In 2017, she was awarded the Tamara Real Emerging Leadership Award by the Arts Alliance for her successful work supporting the arts, sciences, and humanities throughout Washtenaw County.
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